Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, but I do own Sophie, baby Lily, and Echo the puppy :)

After the incident in which Buffy had allowed a pot to boil dry and catch fire, everybody decided that it was probably best if Buffy didn't have any more cooking lessons. Everybody, that is, except for Buffy. She didn't get what the big deal really was. It was only a little fire. And so what if she'd set that tea towel on fire trying to put it out? Faith had fixed everything. Okay, maybe she'd burnt herself in the process, but it was only a little burn, and with her Slayer healing it was almost completely gone already.

If convincing Faith to give the lessons another try was all she'd had to worry about, well, then she wouldn't have had much to worry about, because Buffy could make Faith do pretty much anything just by pouting. In fact, that was how she'd got Faith to give her lessons in the first place. The problem now was that whenever Buffy had tried to use the pout on Faith again, Willow had intervened. Yep, sometimes Buffy really missed the days when her best friend had been a shy little computer nerd, rather than a mega powerful witch who may snap and kill them all if somebody pissed her off enough.

So, Buffy was left to wait until the day, about a week later, when Dawn had dragged Connor off somewhere, and Willow and Tara went out, leaving baby Lily in Buffy and Faith's care (Willow had been trying to be less overprotective recently).

When her beautiful fiance sidled up to her on the couch, Faith knew she was in trouble. When she glanced at the babbling baby in Buffy's lap, Faith knew she was in even bigger trouble. Lily wasn't old enough to use her ability to turn her aunt to mush to purposely manipulate her, but Buffy was, and with the combination of the two of them, Faith had no hope.

"So, baby" Buffy began, "I was thinking that maybe we could.."

"No" said Faith quickly, trying not to meet her eyes.

"But.."

"I know what you're gonna ask B, and the answer is no" said Faith, trying to stand firm. Buffy smirked at her girlfriend's reaction, having expected it at first, then looked to the baby on her knee.

"Auntie Faith's being s big meanie, isn't she Lily?" Buffy asked the baby. "All I want is some more cooking lessons. Don't you think Auntie Faith should give me more cooking lessons?"

"Eh" said Lily, seemingly more interested in sucking on Willow Bear's ear than her aunt's conversation.

"See?" said Buffy. "Lily agrees with me."

"Buffy" Faith sighed, "You know why everyone decided I should stop givin' ya those lessons. Everytime you try to cook somethin' it ends in disaster. Hell, sometimes when you even just go into the kitchen bad stuff happens. Like that time Dawn shrank Willow and Tara before their engagement party and you swept 'em up and threw 'em in the trash."

"Hey, that was mostly Dawn's fault for shrinking them in the first place" said Buffy, annoyed. "And it's kind of your fault too, 'cause they wouldn't have even been in the kitchen if you hadn't been vaccuming.."

"Which you told me to do" Faith smirked.

"Aww, come on Faith" said Buffy, and Faith cringed, knowing what was coming next. Echo, on the floor at Faith's feet, covered his eyes with his paws and whimpered. This was it. Buffy busted out the pout. "Please?"

"'Phie?" Lily looked up, her attention instantly grabbed by any word that sounded even remotely similar to her sister's name, her eyes darting around excitedly.

"No sweetie, Sophie's still at school" said Buffy, before quickly turning her attention back to Faith, and continuing to pout. "Please, Faith? I promise I won't set anything on fire this time. Please?"

"Jeez, if our kid inherits that pout I won't have a scrap of free will left.." Faith grumbled. She looked back at Buffy, still pouting, and, again, relented. "Okay. But you're right about one thing, B. You're sure as hell not gonna set anythin' on fire this time, 'cause we're gonna make somethin' real simple, somethin' even you couldn't possibly set on fire.." she paused for a second as she stood. "And if you want to see your fiance' live to be your wife, you're not gonna say a word about it to Red, okay?"

"Okay" Buffy grinned.

Once in the kitchen, Buffy strapped Lily into her high chair, while Faith gathered everything they needed, dumping the items on the kitchen bench. These included a blender, two bananas, some strawberries, a tub of yoghurt, and a bottle of milk.

"Okay B, we're gonna make a smoothie" said Faith. "A nice, simple fruit smoothie, which is impossible to undercook, or overcook, or set on fire, or blow up, or endanger our lives with. Got it?"

"Yup" Buffy grinned.

"Okay, so first we just cut up the bananas and the strawberries.. Be careful with that knife, B."

"Faith!" Buffy laughed. "I'm a Slayer, I think I know how to handle a knife without hurting myself."

"Hey, after all your other adventures in the kitchen, I think I have a right to.. Ouch!" Faith yelped, slipping and cutting her own finger.

"Who needs to be careful now?" Buffy smirked.

"Shut up, B" Faith frowned, sucking her injured finger. "I'm gonna go get a band-aid.. Don't touch anythin' while I'm gone!"

"I won't" said Buffy, rolling her eyes. But, as soon as her dark counterpart had left the room, she cast her eye over Faith's half chopped banana, and the other remaining ingredients. Faith was right, a smoothie wasn't hard. In fact, Buffy was pretty sure she could finish it by herself, before Faith even came back. Yeah, she decided, she was going to do it by herself, and prove to everyone that her being in the kitchen didn't always lead to disaster. So, Buffy finished cutting up the fruit. She placed it in the blender. She added the yoghurt. She added the milk. She started the blender. She would have had the perfect smmothie too, except that she'd forgotten to put the lid on the blender. As the Slayer screamed, blobs of yoghurt and chunks of fruit flying everywhere, Faith rushed back into the room.

"Buffy!" she yelled, instinctively moving to shield the giggling baby Lily from the flying food while also trying, and failing, to reach the blender's 'Off' button. "For the love of.. Turn the damn thing off!" Buffy did so. "I told you not to.." after surveying the mess she had once again made of the kitchen, Faith turned to yell at her wife-to-be, but stopped when she noticed the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm never gonna get this right, am I?" she sobbed. "I'll just keep screwing up forever!"

"Aww come on B, it's not that bad" Faith sighed. "Besides, you don't really need to cook, 'cause I can. We balance each other out. And besides.." she hesitated, "You're not the only one of us who's turned this kitchen into a disaster area."

"I'm not?" said Buffy, wiping her eyes.

"Nah. That time you were off talkin' care of the apocalypse just after we started dating, Red and Tara left me to watch Little Red. I gave her candy for dinner, and.."

"YOU WHAT?" a very familiar voice screamed, prompting the Slayers to turn and see Tara, Sophie, and a very angry Willow in the kitchen doorway.

"Crap.." Faith muttered.