A/N: Okay, I know now why I felt so off about the last chapter and it's because this one is definitely needed to go along with it. I finally feel like the last chapter won't feel so out of place now that you guys get to see Clary's POV. The story was mostly in hers so having Jace's in there created a different type of tone but I felt like his admittance of feelings to Clary should be in his POV. I'm rambling so I'll just continue on to the chapter, lol.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited & alerted!
Another A/N & the thank you's at the bottom. It'll be a long one because this is the last chapter :( BUT I have decided to add in an epilogue chapter because let's be honest here, I can't part with this story just yet.
"So," Magnus said, lifting up Clary's legs and sitting down on the couch, putting her legs on top of his lap. He was knocking on the front door minutes after he got Clary's text, coming over because he demanded an explanation. After Magnus came Simon, Maia headed over then finally Isabelle and Alec. After Simon had already walked through the door, Jocelyn was calling Luke to come over and help her with cooking for the amount of people that came over last minute. "What made stubborn Clary Fray change her mind so easily?" Magnus and Clary's eyes looked out the clear glass door where everyone sat outside, around the metal patio table.
"I may actually believe I'm dreaming this up so I don't have to deal with those type of questions," Clary said. Magnus shrugged then pinched her making her yelp and swat at him. "Okay, fine. Not a dream."
"So, what? You got soft of us?" Clary smiled a little, looking down. "Oh, you've got a plan. I know that look. It's sinister and you're going to make him jump through flame covered hoops since he's officially wrapped around your finger."
Clary laughed. "Metaphorically, maybe. Just kidding. Maybe not." She covered her face as Magnus's body shook with laughter. "I don't know," Clary said, pulling her hands down her face. "I figured if we fuck it up this time, then we'd have given it a fair chance."
Amusement left Magnus's face as he stared at Clary, who looked past him out the clear glass door. He figured she was staring at Jace. "Clarissa," he whispered. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know," She said, hesitating. "I'm trying to figure out a way to explain it."
Magnus held her hand now. "Just try. I'm up for trying to decipher some jumbled explanations."
Clary smiled softly then looked to Magnus. "I'm not saying that I'm going to forget everything that has happened these past few days ... maybe I'm just wanting to learn from it. I can also see that he means it. I mean, look at him, he's drooling from laughing so much. Maybe I'm ready to just be an idiot and jump right in."
"I think you and Jace have earned the right to be idiots," Magnus said, with a nod.
"I think so too," Clary said, then stared off again. "I mean, I'm still going to tread with caution but maybe it'll be good to tread lightly along with him this time rather than treading lightly on my own. I'm still beyond scared of getting hurt but I like him enough and if I didn't accept what he said to me with an open mind then that nightmare of a night would have been for nothing if I didn't learn anything out of it. Maybe being happy while you burn up in flames is more rewarding than burning up alone." She scrunched her nose. "That doesn't make sense."
"I get it," Magnus whispered. "Nobody here is going to say that you're an idiot for giving him another chance or trying again with him. We're all kind of blindly going for it because sometimes giving it a chance to crash and burn will be worth it enough. It may not be a great ending or it could be forever, we don't know but I think right now, we're all too tired of giving a shit and holding back from what we want. We like who we like, we love who we love. Might as well live up our 20s being all kinds up messed up."
"Are we crazy, you think?"
Magnus smirked at Clary. "Love and life makes people crazy, you know that."
Clary looked to Magnus. "Yes, that I have learned." She looked outside and tilted her head a little. "If I fuck up again, maybe I'll just swear off guys for a while. And if he fucks up, I'm really going to shave all his beautiful golden hair off and kick him in the balls."
"There's my girl," Magnus said, patting her legs. Magnus turned and looked at Jace too.
"He's laughing so much and being crazy. It's creeping me out. He's like a possessed person," Clary mumbled.
Magnus squinted to see Jace more clearly. "You know biscuit, I think he might just be happy."
Clary stifled a laugh when Alec leaned over Isabelle to smack Simon's hands that were on Isabelle's knees at the dinner table.
"Watch your hands, Lewis!" Alec scolded and Simon pulled his hands back, looking distraught while Isabelle glared at Alec.
Magnus laughed on the other side of Alec and Jace merely shook his head while eating his food beside Magnus.
Clary felt a little nudge on her side and she looked over at Maia, who winked at her. "So," Maia started, finishing up her food. "Patio talk?"
Clary grinned and stood up, finishing off what was left on her plate then the two girls dropped their plates off in the sink, running the faucet for some water then hurried out of the dining room to cross the living room and slip outside.
"Can I just say that I'm so proud of you?" Maia said, hugging her legs while Clary sat on the other side of the table from her, chairs surrounding them from when everyone was gathered around outside. Clary began shaking her head. "No. No, take this compliment because I am outrageously proud of you. Not only because you battled this like the kick ass woman you are but because you were able to let Jace back in."
Clary peered at Maia, with her head still tilted down. "I felt like I was giving in to him too easily."
Maia shook her head. "I think you both put it out on the table and you were the one who decided on behalf of both of you to take that second chance," Maia said, smiling a little. "I think it's strong and that you're courageous for putting faith in something you may doubt. I mean, it's either we're going in blindly with only faith but to feel like something can go wrong and to still go after it because your heart tells you to? That's brave."
Clary smiled to herself a little. "What are your plans now in the love department?"
Maia looked up at the night sky. "I'm gonna figure out more about myself for a while," Maia said, clearly. "I think I'm gonna need to go on that journey with no boys around."
"One will come at the right time," Clary assured her. "Maybe come back."
"Yeah," Maia said, looking down now, thinking of Jordan. "Maybe."
"I'm proud of all of us, to be honest," Clary said, in a proud tone and Maia snickered. "I am! I feel like a month and a half ago we were shitty almost adults who were scared or not thinking at all." Maia nodded. "Now, we're at least letting our hearts take over instead of the fears and we're not running away from ourselves."
Maia laughed. "Is this what it is? Is this what the early 20's is like? Full of confusion and blindly jumping into life?"
"Magnus seems to think so," Clary said, with a little shrug.
"Well, he's the luckiest one of the all. Alec's got his shit together," Maia said. "He just needed to see a little failure to open his eyes."
"Open all of our eyes," Clary said, pressed her thumb against the metal table.
"Hey," Isabelle said, standing behind Jace's chair while he looked down at his phone. He looked up, tilting his head all the way back. "Sunset sidewalk talk?"
Jace followed Isabelle as she walked towards the sunset, sitting at the edge of the street and he sat down beside her.
She looked at him and smiled.
"Don't be gross, Izzy," Jace said and she pushed his head, making him laugh. "Fine, be gross."
"I will be gross because I'm proud of you," Isabelle said and Jace looked at her to see if she was joking. Isabelle rarely said things like that to anyone. "I still think you're an idiot for when she came to you and you didn't say anything. Honestly, I'd make you beg a little more if I was Clary but you know," Isabelle shrugged. "I'm sure she has her own plans to see if you mean it or not."
Jace nodded. "That, I know."
"You do?" She asked, looking at him, in surprise.
"Yeah. I'm not stupid enough to think -"
"I mean, you are pretty stupid."
Jace looked away for a moment, peeved. "I don't think that it's going to be just easy and we're going to act like we're some happy ass couple."
"Happy ass couple," Isabelle muttered, shaking her head.
"I mean, we're still Clary and Jace. And Clary and Jace just aren't simple. But we're real," Jace said, playing with a cigarette in his hand that he didn't light up yet.
Isabelle stared at him. "Who are you and where did you put Jace?"
Jace let out a laugh. "I don't know. Ask Alec."
Isabelle grinned, sighing happily. "I'm really proud of him too."
"I know," Jace said, with a nod. "I think they're gonna make it." Jace motioned to her. "You and four eyes too."
"Four eyes? That's the best you got today?"
"I'm a little off today, give me a break." He looked at Isabelle, who stared at the sunset. "We're proud of you too, you know." She glanced at him.
"Yeah?"
Jace smiled. "Yeah. We always used to fear that maybe you used us to hold onto us so much because you were too afraid to let others in. But now you're dating a guy with no history of arrest or won't be violating the law unless he's stealing a video game -" Isabelle laughed. "And you've made enough good friends to last you until we're all old and wrinkled." He looked at her. "You've done very well for yourself, Isabelle."
She rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Jace." She glanced down at his cigarette. "You gonna smoke that?"
He stared down for a moment then put it behind his ear. "Later." He stood up and Isabelle followed, the two of them walking back to Clary's house.
"You putting that there to impress Jocelyn and Luke or something?" Isabelle asked, coldly without looking at Jace and Jace promptly put it back into his pocket.
"Did you ever think you'd get a hot girl? Like in your dreams, even. Did you ever dream of even getting with someone as hot as Isabelle?" Clary asked and Maia hid a smile behind her hand.
Simon laughed, his head tilting back. "Of course not, Clary. I'm not delusional."
Clary and Maia giggled until they saw Jace approaching. Simon turned around to see that the girls were looking at behind him then smiled at Isabelle, who sat beside Jonathan and Caroline on the couch.
"That's our cue, I'm guessing," Simon said and stood up.
"Whatever, you just wanna sit next to your girlfriend," Maia said and Simon rolled his eyes, dramatically as Jace opened the door and they walked right past him as he slipped out.
"Did I interrupt something? They didn't have to leave," Jace said, pointing his thumb behind him.
"No, Simon just wants to be in Isabelle's presence as much as possible. He's still kind of adjusting to the thought that she's his girlfriend," Clary said as Jace sat in the seat closest to her, adjusting it so he sat in front of her. She rested her shoes against the edge of his seat and he leaned back into it, slouching.
"As am I," Jace said and Clary smiled. "You okay?" Clary nodded. He stared at her. She shook her head and he smirked, looking down.
"You're not as chipper as you were before, have you realized your fears too?" He looked up at her with wide eyes and shock.
"Did you wanna - I mean, did you want to have more time away from me?" Jace asked and Clary shook her head.
"No, Jace, that wasn't what I meant," Clary said, looking at her hands. "I just - I'm scared as hell here but I want to be scared with you."
"Clary, I'm terrified," Jace said and laughed a little. "I am terrified and I feel like I've lost my mind."
"Then why-"
"Because it's worth it," Jace interrupted her. "You're worth all of this insecurity and fear."
Clary peeked at him. "What makes you so sure? Of us? Of me?" She sat up now. "What if I get scared and run away? What if you get tired of me and don't want me around anymore? What if... I don't know, anything goes wrong? What happens to us, Jace?" She looked at her hands again. "When we weren't talking, I wasn't just broken over what happened between us or that you didn't say anything to me in reply. I actually didn't care much at all that you didn't reply to me. I went there to talk to you for myself, not for you. I wanted you to know, of course but I went there to tell you because I needed to function and let it go for me." She looked at him and shifted in her seat. "What shattered me about us was that you weren't going to be in my life anymore. You are a constant in my life and the presence of you just being there as my friend is what I need. What if we screw it up and lose that?"
Jace shook his head. "I just don't believe we will, Clary."
"Believe we won't what? Screw it up? Lose our friendship?"
"Both of those things," Jace said, looking directly at her. "I believe in us more than my fear of what we could do to each other. You can hold all the doubt for us, Clary but I'm gonna keep all the hope enough for the both of us."
Clary took a deep breath and stared back right at Jace, looking into his eyes as if she was looking for any lies or doubt. She looked like she was searching for any indication that he might break the promise of what he was saying. She shook her head a little as her eyes softened and she saw nothing but honesty. She smiled, shaking her head, pressing her fist against her lips.
"You're crazy," She told him.
"Yeah, you've reminded me enough times today," Jace said, with a laugh. "I'm ready to fight for us, Clary. I hope you know that."
She nodded. "Please bear with me," She whispered, yearning laced in her voice.
He gave a nod. "If you run, I'm following you wherever you wanna go until you say that you honestly want me out of your life."
She cast her gaze downward and bit her bottom lip. "Okay. That's a promise?"
"Oh, that's a guarantee. No matter how clingy I get, you just make sure you know now that you know what you're getting into," Jace said, and Clary laughed, leaning forward now. She pulled her knees against her and wrapped her arms around her legs. She laid the left side of her face on her knees and stared up at Jace. He smiled a little and reached out his left hand so he could glide his thumb across her cheek bone. She closed her eyes and he stared down at her.
In an instant, Jace was pushed back as Clary reached out to hug him fiercely. He wrapped his arms around her and she hid her face in the crook of his neck as he did the same. She scooted closer to him, almost sitting right on his lap and he only hugged her tighter in response.
Clary lost any sense of time, not knowing that her and Jace were there hugging for almost thirty minutes, holding onto each other. It wasn't until she saw everyone gather around her living room, bringing in a case of beer, that she pulled away from Jace. She immediately felt the absence of his arms, as they slipped down off of her. He looked down at her, eyes heavily lidded as if he fell asleep. He smiled a little then leaned down to press his lips against hers.
"Okay, love birds." The two pulled apart when they heard the patio door open and Magnus's voice. Clary looked over and saw the group there, staring. Almost everyone was smirking or smiling except Jonathan, who raised an eyebrow at them. She held back a laugh as her and Jace leaned back into their seats. "We're playing a drinking game. Grab a beer."
Everyone filed out, grabbing seats and arranging them in a circle as Jace grabbed two beers from the pack Magnus was holding and held one out to Clary. Isabelle plopped down next to Clary, putting her feet on Jace's legs as she linked her and Clary's arms together. In response, Clary leaned her head against Isabelle's shoulder. She looked around at the company she had and grinned, taking a swig of her beer.
A/N: Mkay, I know Clary's doubts can feel so unsettling because she isn't completely ready to go into this relationship with Jace but I wanted to show that even though they'd spoken their feelings to one another, there's always gonna be doubt cause I know for sure just because I'm with someone that doesn't mean there isn't a little bit of doubt of still getting hurt, especially in the beginning. I feel like Clary and Jace are a couple who will be learning with one another how to be in a relationship, not just pretend they know how to be in one. I wanted to keep this all like real life until the very end. I hope that makes sense.
But you guys will get to see how they are in the future because like I said, I'll be doing an epilogue. Of course. I'm having so much trouble finishing up this story so it's needed for me and whoever is following along.
I wanted to add that one of the lovely reviewers for this story has started her own story and it happens to be her FIRST story ever. It's called Their Senior Year by TaileaLightwoodHerondale. It's got our adorable Alec so please check it out when you guys can.
Please leave some reviews & feedback, dear readers. I'd love to know your thoughts about this chapter, the ending (so far) and just the whole story as a whole. Let me know how you're feeling or simply tell me you're feeling the loss of this story along me already, lol.
Shout out to ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, Ydissbooksogood, MortalKd1997 & TaileaLightwoodHerondale! Thank you for taking the time to review and feeling along with me with this story ending soon!