25 – Real Understanding
It was late Tuesday night, early Wednesday morning; the twilight hours when one day merges into another. Callie was in a dirty motel room, wallowing in self-pity and self-loathing. Doug had been allowed, allowed, by Malcador to continue his relationship with Furia. It was within operation parameters. And now I'm alone.
Callie had seen him, followed him to Victoria's. She saw him give the jacket to Furia. It meant the world to her. She saw him walk her home, sneak into her room.
She couldn't go home after that, couldn't bear to see Ev and Violet draw ever closer together. She couldn't bear to see Vin smile, just barely, to himself while he thought about Terel'da. Couldn't bear to see Janus. The room's lock clicked open and Callie was thankful for the diversion. It was too late and too early. She hadn't slept, and the sun would be coming out soon.
So Callie waited, knife in one hand and needler in the other, out of view of the door. She heard walking and breathing, somehow familiar, and rounded the corner, ready to strike. Doug's hand latched onto her throat, a look of anger and disbelief on his face. He let her go, then composed himself as she stumbled back and sat on the bed, surprised beyond the ability to react.
"I'm sorry Callie."
Callie blinked, then sat up, confused and happy. "No, it's okay Doug, I-"
Doug put a finger to her lips. "No Callie. I'm sorry." Callie's heart leapt as he kept the finger to her lip, the sadness on his facing slowly twisting into a smile. "I should've been more considerate of you, of what we share. What only we can give each other. Real understanding."
"Oh, Doug." Callie lunged, kissing and pulling at him.
"Callie, wait." Her heart fell again. Here it comes, he's just going to try to convince me to 'work around the indoctrination'. She sighed and looked away, her breath heavy with disappointment.
"Just promise yourself to me, Callie." She turned, surprised. "Promise yourself to me, and only me. Your body." Doug ran a hand over her shuddering back. "Your mind." He whispered into and kissed her ear. "Your heart and soul."
Callie kissed him back, pressing herself against him with a lifetime of urgency. "Yes, yes."
Doug threw Callie back onto the bed with a powerful backhand. She spun and landed face down, feeling a riot of emotions and feelings: shock, fear, anger, and an odd tingling.
He's punishing me for what I've done.
Callie heard his pants drop, the angry grunt as he ripped hers down, tore her panties away. He filled her, larger and stronger than she could've imagined. He was raw, savage; it was rough and painful, driving her face into the mattress with each thrust.
And she reveled in it.
Hours later, Doug sat at the bleachers, eating his lunchtime goo while the others finished their own assessments of the upcoming operation. It had been long planned and reviewed by the group several times already. He was anxious to get through the formality and share a table with Furia in the lunch room. As the interminable process finally wound down Callie sauntered gracefully over to Doug and sat down.
"Yes, Callie?" Doug wiped his hands with his napkin, then set his plate aside.
"I just wanted to talk about last night." Callie smiled. She didn't feel as good as she thought she would, but she felt better. She was looking forward to their next meeting.
Doug paled slightly, then coughed. "I'd- I'd rather not talk about that, Callie."
"Okay, I understand. You going to be there again tonight?" Her finger twirled through her hair, blue eyes sparkling.
"Perhaps. I haven't decided yet." Doug's face was perfect, she thought. He looked completely ignorant of what had happened that morning.
"Well, I'm sure there'll be someone there, waiting for you." Callie smiled, sensuality peeking out, and sashayed away, hips swinging.
Janus gaped, wondering for only a moment what could've provoked this before realizing. "Doug, did- did you?" His voice reeked of oncoming betrayal and sadness.
"Of course not, Janus. Last night I was at Furia's." Doug paled slightly again, looking around, then decided to let the revelation remain free.
Janus slowly nodded. He thought for a long moment about trying again, letting the warpsight show him what Callie was thinking, feeling. But he was afraid of what he'd see. Nah, maybe Callie's finally just happy to see Doug happy. It wasn't perfect, but it was believable. And that was all Janus needed to keep his hope alive.
Believable.
I suck at derivatives. Janus hated math, though he wasn't bad at it. He'd just never liked it, never got into it. Half the time he spent lunch finishing up his math homework last minute, and he was glad to have lunch right before math on those days.
"All the potential in the galaxy is insignificant, Janus, if you do not try." Malcador finished, looking into his
adopted son's eyes. The suffocation of his presence relented, patience and encouragement washing over
Janus. "Ability is nothing without effort."
"Yes, Father."
Janus shook away the memory and stole another look at Callie, sitting next to the window. She was writing feverishly, and her ponytail fell down her shoulder. Callie flicked her head back, the hair describing a golden arc through the air, sunlight glinting off it. She's having even more trouble than me. Maybe... maybe I can help her. Janus grinned and returned to his work, his effort redoubled with fresh motivation.
Gotta help Callie. She looked up, noticing his scrutiny out of the corner of her eye and smiled, briefly, before returning to her own paper. Janus grinned to himself; fresh eyes looked down at the paper, his mind coursing with energy.
For Callie.
Two hours later, Victoria's perfect features were twisted, but only slightly. Various emotions played across her face, each revealing a different kind of beauty. She settled on satisfaction in the end, then glanced around the hallway.
This will be satisfying. The smirk turned into a wide, almost manic grin, mirrored on the faces of the Twins behind her, in conversation with someone. Farther back still was Kelly, along more for the sense of belonging than because she particularly liked any of them. Last of all was Petra, who could never decide from one day to the next whether to take up with Isis, Victoria or Roberta.
"Victoria?" The statuesque blonde turned, hiding her annoyance at Petra.
"Yes, Petra?" The words rolled out in her signature voice, seductive and dangerous, honey and smoke.
Alpharia laughed at Omegan, who was blushing as a slight blonde figure with a ponytail walked away.
"Is this really... necessary?" Petra strode forward, drawing even with the taller girl.
"I have a reputation to keep, Petra." Victoria tossed her hair. The gesture was entirely unnecessary, but effective at drawing slack-jawed gazes from freshman and senior alike. "I don't know how..." Victoria's highborn features twisted again with rage, and her forehead just began to wrinkle before she composed herself.
She stopped at an open locker with a mirror, easily pushing aside its occupant. Platinum blonde hair fluffed and danced over gray eyes. "I don't know how the Twins managed to let... what happened yesterday get by." Victoria's anger appeared again as she fixed the abashed twins with an icy glare.
"But I can't let it slide, Petra, darling." The beauty mark on her cheek, perfectly out of place, turned as Victoria admired it. Her hands moved down to the dark button-up shirt, adjusting it, ensuring everything was in place. Lavish cleavage was checked once more, framed flawlessly from below by the loosened purple tie and above by a Torien amethyst necklace.
"No boy has ever walked away from me, and I refuse to let some... some agriworlder ruin my perfect record!"
Victoria's composure vanished and Petra fell back, as if expecting a physical blow. Instead, Victoria simply straightened up, her flawless face taking on its familiar smugness as she checked herself over once more. Satisfied, she set off again, the lingering crowd of Daughters picking up and following her.
Janus was the first to notice, although Doug and Callie were the only ones who didn't seem surprised when Victoria showed up. Janus had been by his locker, finishing up his Calculus homework as soon as he could, bolstering his notes so he could help Callie later. As a result he'd been late to the garage, and saw Victoria heading that direction as he finally made to leave.
Why's Victoria going to the parking garage? Janus well knew that she didn't have to drive, that she was picked up, along with any of her friends who hadn't displeased her that day, by her butler Geoffrey after school.
Still, Janus didn't stop to question it too much. His eyes glazed over as Victoria walked by, stormy gray eyes sparing him the barest of glances. The Twins came next, as confident together as Victoria was alone. They were smiling and chattering, holding hands and giving Janus ideas. He remembered something.
He thought back to a night two weeks ago, when Callie had come home late, reeking of beer. She'd been happy and cheerful, and Janus couldn't help but read the thoughts pouring out of her. Foreign memories flashed through his head; of Callie, one of the Twins and another girl. Janus shifted his backpack just so to cover himself. He'd secretly wondered who it was that night, but even seeing Callie talk to the Twins every day he couldn't tell.
Kelly walked by next, absolutely laden with spikes, chains and all sorts of bare metal jewelry; the adornments' rattling and jingling shook him out of his day dream. The overall effect was a little intimidating to Janus, but he knew better. Kelly's not mean, she's just... offish. It didn't stop his gaze from lingering as she walked by.
Last of all was Petra. She was quiet and unassuming, but always seemed to have a better grasp than anyone of what was going on. She smiled briefly at him as she passed, and Janus could swear he saw Petra blush a little when he smiled back.
It took Janus a few minutes and a splash of water from the fountain to compose himself. He quickly caught up to the group, following them from a respectful distance. He couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but Petra and Victoria seemed to be arguing about something. It's hard to tell with Petra, she's not very forceful.
They stopped briefly, and Janus found something interesting in his notes to look at. It's polite to let them go first. Yeah. He swallowed, using his peripheral vision for all its worth while Victoria primped herself in the mirror. She tossed her hair and his arm went slack; Janus' face smacked into the wall he'd been leaning casually against.
He could swear one of the Twins noticed him, smiling while he massaged the sore spot on his face, but Victoria said something to them, then finished preening and they moved on. He stopped again, making minor corrections to his homework, and didn't arrive until after it had started.
All Janus saw was Victoria grinning, Ev angry and Violet flustered, almost crying. He didn't know what to do, so instead he watched as Callie and Chucho pulled the pair away from the confrontation, leaving Doug and Vin.
Are they... is this gonna turn into a fight? Janus briefly imagined it. Victoria and her friends weren't the most talented fighters, but he'd heard rumors of a long-ago catfight between Victoria and Furia, back in their freshman year. Aguy can dream. He swallowed.
Victoria smiled when Vin stepped to the fore, fitter, more composed and disciplined than Doug. Her hand instinctively went to a fair tress at her shoulder, twirling with interest.
"And who might you be?" She purred the question out, but didn't expect an answer from the boy. It came instead from behind her.
"Vincent... Vincent DeCare." Surprisingly, it was Omegan who stepped forward and talked, not Alpharia, who blushed and waggled her fingers at the strapping young man. Petra blushed as well, looking away, and Kelly suddenly found her various chains and rings all needed adjusting. Vin nodded quietly in affirmation.
"I haven't seen you around." Victoria stepped forward and let a hand drift out onto his muscular chest. "If I'd known you were here wouldn't have wasted my precious time with him." She tilted her head at Doug. The words came out overblown, and thick with disgust. "You aren't in any of my classes, but I'm sure we can find something else in common, hmm?"
Vin thought for a moment, hand on rugged chin, then shook his head. "No."
Victoria didn't step back; the only change in her expression was the barest gleam of something feral in her eyes. "And why not?" Her eyes chased the cut of his jaw, the chiseled muscles visible under his shirt. Perfect. "You're perfect, I'm perfect; we'd be perfect together." The hand drifted along to his shoulder.
Vin shook his head disapprovingly. "No." He turned to Doug. "Kay, Gee."
Doug looked back at Vin and squinted with thought. "But which one?"
Vin stroked his chin."Chief prizes?"
Doug shook his head. "No, I think not. Too easy to turn around. Your living?"
"No." Vin looked down and his voice rumbled out deeply. There were short intakes of feminine breath from all around, and a strange jingling from Kelly's direction. Victoria's look of satisfaction blackened as the moments drug by. She did not like being ignored, and just as she opened her mouth, Vin looked up at Doug. "Never halt."
Doug squinted once more. "Advance?" Vin nodded. "I think that would be appropriate."
Vin turned to Victoria, who regained her composure as if she'd never lost it. "'Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection.'" Vin smiled, drawing more blushes from the girls and a few looks from across the parking area.
"Augh, Victoria. Can't you just let it drop for once?" Janus blushed as he recognized the voice, slowly turning to reveal Isis Lupercal standing next to him. He gulped. "How long's she been here?"
"F-five minutes." Janus fought down the quiver in his voice, and smiled to himself.
Then Isis turned to look at him. Sharp orange eyes expanded to fill the whole of his vision. Shoulda brought a map, Janus thought as he gaped at her, dumbfounded.
"Hey!" A snap of her fingers brought Janus back to the world, and he realized Isis had been asking him a question. "What's your name?"
"Juh-Janus. Janus Sigitine." Isis smiled at how awkward he was, and it was enough to calm Janus down. She put her hand out, and it took him another moment to realize he was supposed to shake it.
"Isis." Janus' grip was limp and a little sweaty, but he managed to make it all the way through without too much trouble.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Victoria finally tore her eyes from Vin's mouth to glare at his eyes.
"Perfection cannot be achieved, Miss Fulgrim, something your father is aware of. It is in reaching for perfection that one finds excellence. Is that it?" Doug turned to Vin, who nodded once more.
"I am perfect."
"How so?" Vin rumbled the words out.
Victoria shook out her hair in response, sending it tumbling over her svelte shoulders, around the pale flesh of her neck and above her rolling cleavage. She smiled, perfectly confident, as a freshman across the garage stumbled into a car, distracted, then cursed his knee for having pain receptors. "That is how."
Vin looked her in the eyes and Victoria's breath caught. "'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.'" He smiled serenely.
Victoria scoffed. "My life is perfect. My father adores me, my family envies me. The world is mine to take." She smiled. "I was born perfect and beautiful."
"Vin, if I may?" Vin nodded and Doug turned to Victoria with a confident grin. "Perfection is a moment, not a lifestyle, Victoria. Your father knows this, that perfection is a means rather than an end unto itself."
"Don't worry about it." Isis' voice once again shook Janus out of his reverie, his absorption in the poetry of Victoria's moving body as she shook out her hair.
"Huh?" Isis laughed, and Janus blushed further still.
"They're not going to fight. Victoria got in one fight, a few years ago, and figured out she's not perfect in every way." Isis smiled and leaned back against the wall next to Janus. He gulped.
"Isis doesn't envy you." Vin gestured across the garage to Isis, who waved genially. "If your life is perfect, why are you here now?"
Doug smirked. "Come now, Victoria, admitting your own limitations will bring you far closer to perfection than this." Victoria blushed fiercely, remembering the last time she heard those two words from Doug.
"I will admit nothing! Why would I want to change? I'm already perfect." Victoria's face started to redden.
Vin shook his head and smiled. Kelly fumbled and dropped a spiky wristband. "You can't improve without changing; you can't be perfect without improving."
Victoria's face reddened further still, and she stuttered as she tried to form a response.
"She'll get fed up in a minute here." Isis leaned forward at the waist, finally catching Petra's eye, and waved her over. The girl took one look at Victoria, getting more and more red-faced as she ran in verbal circles with Vin, and backed away, walking quietly over to Isis. "Hey, Petra? Ready to go?"
"Yeah, let's, let's just get out of here." Petra and Isis took off, waving briefly to Janus. He turned back just in time to see Victoria storming away, as flustered as Ev was a few minutes ago. Janus walked across the garage to find Doug talking to Chucho while a grinning Vin started the airvan up. Vin's probably anxious to get back to the cafhouse.
"I've already..." Doug coughed into his hand, "convinced Furia we should bring you along. You'll like it, Chucho." He looked up at the metal on the boy's head. "I think you'll find Metaldammerung a far more accommodating environment for your augmetics than high school." He turned. "Ah, hello Janus."
Doug pulled out a white cloth, stinking of rubbing alcohol, and nervously wiped off his cheeks, nose, mouth and chin. The slight color to his face suggested he'd done it a few times already in the past fifteen minutes or so.
"Hey Doug. What was that about?"
"I believe Miss Fulgrim has come to understand perfection a little better, thanks to Vin." Doug glanced over. "I have to go, Janus, I'll see you later."
They waved and nodded goodbye, then Doug headed over to the bike area, where a motorcycle the size of their van was idling next to a grinning Furia. They kissed, then she said something about eating out. He stuttered and his face reddened further.
Furia smashed a helmet into Doug's solar plexus as the airvan pulled around the corner, heading for the townhouse. Janus looked over at Callie, smiling dreamily and he felt a grin come over his face at the thought of helping her when they got home.