Shane awoke to a weight lying on her body, a weight so familiar, yet so different. She slowly peeled her eyes open, and realized she was staring at the ceiling of the living room. She must have fallen asleep on the couch, and that weight, that familiar weight, had gotta be Carmen, because if it wasn't, she was going to have to kill herself. Slowly, she glanced down from between her nose and her gaze came upon a bald head resting on her chest. She jerked up to take a closer look, trying to figure out that stranger on her and the mess she had gotten herself into. And then she realized, she had shaved Carmen's head a couple of days ago, and the person resting so snuggly on her was indeed Carmen. With a sigh of relief, she plonked her head back onto the arm rest.
Just as she was contentedly staring at Carmen, wanting to stroke her hands along that beautiful form, but was careful not to do it for fear of waking her baby up. But she couldn't resist running a loving hand on that stubbled-scalp. And… and… the world map? Shane scooted up again and looked closer at the head on her chest. Carmen's hair had grown out a little, and the black amongst the bald patches formed what resembles the different continents. Shane ran her fingers over America, tracing the outlines of the hair and the hairless parts, refused to let her mind go to the fact that just a couple of days ago, there was a full head of luscious locks she loved sniffing. She sighed softly, letting go of all the air in her chest.
She must have let go of too much air too fast, because the sudden dip of her chest caused Carmen to stir. Carmen lifted her head sleepily and slowly crawled up the length of Shane's body. She planted a quick kiss onto Shane's lips before settling her head at the crack of Shane's shoulder.
"Good evening, baby." Carmen purred into Shane's neck.
Shane hummed as her arms crept up around Carmen's waist. She tilt her head ever so slightly, to place a soft kiss on Carmen's forehead. Carmen in turn rubbed her stubbled head on Shane's chin, that drew a chuckle from the lanky woman.
"What?" Carmen asked, rubbing her head on Shane's chin again, and Shane couldn't help but laugh out, trying to stay away from the stubbles. Sensing that Shane is trying to get away from her head, Carmen scooted closer and rubbed her head harder onto Shane.
"It's funny to feel a man's 5am shadow, considering I have never been with a man."
Carmen slapped Shane's arm in jest as she settled contentedly back onto Shane. Before her smile could fully develop though, a little doubt flashed across Carmen's face. "Baby, so you still love me now that I am a bald freak right?"
"Hey hey, you are not a freak, alright?" Shane reprimanded, her arms tightening around Carmen's waist protectively. Carmen lifted her head and rested her chin on Shane's. "You will still treat me equal right? You love me?"
"Yes, I do, very much."
"Good, because I'm hungry," Carmen purred, "Make me something to eat?"
Shane stuck out her tongue in mock jest and slapped Carmen on her butt. Sighing exaggeratedly, she flipped Carmen over till Carmen was lying under her. She rested her full weight on Carmen and kissed her softly. Carmen enjoyed the kiss at first, but when she realized that Shane was contented with kissing her, not making a move to the kitchen, she protested by biting down on Shane's bottom lip. At first, Shane probably thought it was kinky and cute, but Carmen added pressure to the bite, until it was more painful then sexy. She yelped out in pain.
"I thought you wanted to eat."
"Yes…"
"I was feeding you."
Carmen laughed, lifting her head and did a biting action. Shane leaned down again to reclaim Carmen's lips, but the Latina pushed the lanky woman away. "Baby…" Shane pinned Carmen's arms down above her head and continued her assault on Carmen's lips, this time adding a hint of rubbing her body on Carmen's.
Shane was about to take it a step further when she heard a low rumble erupted. She lifted away and looked questioningly at Carmen, and was rewarded with a 'I-told-you-so' shrug from Carmen. She sighed softly as she climbed off Carmen, but not before stealing one last kiss.
Carmen followed Shane into the kitchen. Shane always looked so cute when she was trying to figure out what to make for dinner. She blatantly stared on as Shane bent over to look for vegetables in the fridge. Before she could comment how Shane's little butt look so cute when it was sticking out, she was interrupted by the phone.
While she kept her eyes trained on Shane busying herself at the stove, she absentmindedly answered the phone. Only when she realized who was on the line, did her eyes shot wide open.
"Momma?"
"Yes, my baby, how are you?"
"I…," Carmen choked, she forgot how much she missed her mother's voice and her family, ever since she snapped out of her depression, "I'm fine, momma… me haces falta" She felt like crying, when she said I miss you, because deep down, she would always be Mama's girl.
"También me has hecho falta mi hija." As soon as she heard those words, her face scrunched up into a sob, and she was feeling all the emotions that she didn't realize that her mother sounded different.
She didn't know when it was, but Shane was already by her side, holding her and giving her support before she even asked for any.
"Hija?"
"Ya, momma, I'm still here." Carmen said after she felt courage return to her.
"Erm, I talked to your papito about your situation." Mercedes started.
"Was he… Did he… was he upset?" Carmen had to ask.
"Of course that pig would be upset, he is a very traditional man." Mercedes raised her voice, then she realized how Carmen must be feeling, because she continued quickly, "But my dearest baby, he would never remain angry with you, I talked to him long and hard."
"What… what about Carla, and hermano, and… the others?"
"They… are taking it pretty well." Mercedes said, somewhat confidently.
"Oh."
"That's what I was calling about baby, your papito would like to meet Shane. Sooo, you and Shane are coming to dinner, this Friday."
"Really, momma? I mean, I…" Carmen stared at Shane, unsure of how to react to the information, she was even more apprehensive about how Shane would react. Would Shane go with her, would she back out, and mostly, would she want to subject Shane to that kind of treatment? But ultimately, she wanted so badly for Shane to be accepted into her family, for her and Shane to be accepted into the Morales family as an entity, as a couple.
"I would love to, momma, but I gotta ask Shane first…" She looked questioningly at Shane, who nodded her agreement, Shane couldn't hear the conversation, but judging from Carmen's reaction, she could guess what was being said.
"Okay, baby. You call me right back okay. You know you are my favorite hija, and that no matter what happens, I will love you forever. Yes?
"Yes, momma, I love you too… I will call you right back."
After Carmen hung up the phone, she turned apprehensively to look at Shane, feeling really uncomfortable because Shane was staring right at her. She took a step back to lean against the wall, as it would help block out the look from Shane. Shane just stood there, waiting for Carmen to say something.
"So…" Carmen shifted her feet, she pressed her arms in between her body and the cool surface, and Shane knew that it was a moment of habit that represents nervousness.
"Dinner… right?" Shane probed softly, not wanting to push Carmen.
"Erm… right." Carmen smiled at Shane, amused that she was almost psyhic. "How did…"
Shane shrugged, "Yeah well…"
A long pause.
"So…" Carmen started again. "Dinner at my parents, Friday?" She shrugged a little, trying to act nonchalant. But Shane could tell that she was on the verge of breaking down.
"Do you want me to go?"
"I… I don't know." Carmen looked like she was going to start crying again. Shane closed the distance between the two of them… "Hey hey, peach…" She lifted her hands and Carmen walked right into them.
"I'd like to go. Honestly can't say I am excited about it, but… I'll go if you want me to." Shane said softly, as she rested her cheek on the top of her girlfriend's bald head.
"I wanna show you off to my family, get their blessings, I want them to love you, like I love you." Carmen said with conviction, Shane knew her though, Shane knew there was a 'but' somewhere.
"But…?"
Carmen sighed, now really grateful that Shane knew her so well.
"But I'm not sure if they would completely embrace you. I don't wanna torment them… I don't wanna torment you either."
"You won't… you won't…" Shane tried to calm a now agitated Carmen down.
"I will… I can't bear to lose either of you… I can't ever lose any of you… I…" Carmen choked, she wanted to make sense, she wanted so desperately to make sense. "I… I want the best of both worlds."
"You have… you have your family and you have me." Shane rubbed her hands along Carmen's back comfortingly. "If you don't want me to go, I won't… if you want me to, I will…"
"I've a really bad feeling about this, baby." Carmen hugged her girlfriend tightly.
"Then I won't go."
"But I want you to!" Carmen was practically screaming now, muffled by Shane's cotton top, but Shane could feel her shake with agitation. "I want my family to know you."
"Carmen… Carmen…."
"I don't want to keep you a secret anymore…"
"I'll go, as long as you want me to go. Peach… Calm… calm down…" Shane said repeatedly, not sure if she was going or not. But she was determined to keep her promise to Carmen, that the ball was in her court, that she would take her lead.
She let Carmen have her moment and quietly stroked her back. When she felt Carmen stop shaking, and started to calm down, she lifted Carmen's face off of her chest and stared down into the downcast eyes.
"Carmen, look at me." Shane used her thumb to stroke Carmen's chin. When Carmen finally lifted her eyes to look at Shane, Shane said, "Nothing will take you away from your family. And I will always be here. Always."
Carmen remained silent for a long time, just staring up into Shane's green orbs. "I hope ya right…"
"Hey. I know I am." Shane managed to coax a smile from Carmen. "We'll go, and we'll prove to them that we love each other so much that they can't help but give us their blessings."
"Really?" Carmen asked. When Shane nodded confidently, she smiled appreciatively. "Okay. I'll call momma now."
Carmen made plans to arrive at Mercedes' place right after radiotherapy on Friday. And the days went by in a flash.