Note: In this story, Kanbei's childhood name was Kisshoumaru. In the past, boys of the upper classes change their name after a coming-of-age ceremony. Some even change their names multiple times.
"You have found him. He stands before you." The dark man standing before the two graves said in a tone of weary resignation.
Kyuuzou suddenly realized this was the answer he dreaded. Why would he dread this answer? The young man did not know. He should be glad he need not look any further for what he had given up hope of finding all these years. But the pale samurai was not glad.
"Thank you for the confirmation," the red warrior said with cool politeness as he stepped away from the gravestone, putting more distance between himself and Kanbei. "I suspected this might be the case since the first day I saw you. But I was never really sure, or you would have been dead a long time ago."
Shimada stared at Kyuuzou in shock. It all came back to Kanbei. Kyuuzou's strange questions in Kanna Forest and the cold warrior's unexpected kiss. Was that cherished memory a sham? Kyuuzou was now walking near the trees ringing the clearing in which the graves stood. The dark man followed after the slender form.
"You said you met me 16 years ago!" Kanbei exclaimed in puzzlement. "But I am sure I never met you before Kougakyo! Where did you see me? Who are these people to you?"
Kyuuzou smirked. He responded matter-of-factly. "Shimada Shizuka did not kill your four samurai. I did. You blamed the wrong person."
Kanbei's mouth fell open.
"Though I must admit the fault was mine as well." The pale young man continued, "For by keeping my silence then, I proved myself as much the coward as you were the fool!" Kyuuzou spat the words out disgustedly. But he was not sure if he was more disgusted at Kanbei or at himself.
Then it came to Kanbei's mind that his cousin, a double sword fighter, was carrying only one sword when he dueled her on that cursed day. Shimada suddenly remembered that the informants said there was a young child living in the same house with the two women. The youngster was presumably a servant. It did not seem to be a detail of much import. Young Kanbei had not seen the child in the house at that time. The samurai who had finished his mission did not give the trivial matter of a missing minor servant further thought. Not until now.
"You're …" the old ronin started as he stared at Kyuuzou.
The younger samurai felt a cold fury sealing itself over all the confused emotions that had been jostling for room in his tormented soul since the day he met Shimada Kanbei again as a grown man.
"I AM your retribution. I am Shizuka's son." Kyuuzou answered icily, noting with some satisfaction the look of shock on Kanbei's face.
The older samurai was gaping at the blond samurai who looked so unlike anyone in the Shimada family. This was impossible! And yet it was true. How else could Kyuuzou know the lullaby that Kanbei's grandmother had sung to her grandchildren? Shimada Kanbei thought he heard both Heaven and Earth laughing at him.
The usually quiet samurai had plenty to say. "Well, my honorable warrior, my mother asked you for six years to finish something, but you refused to grant it to her! That 'something' was me! I was 10 years old! You got more than you deserve when I granted you the time to finish your work for Kanna."
Kanbei did not know what answer to give Kyuuzou, or if Kyuuzou was even expecting an answer. At the dark man's tongue-tied silence, the scarlet samurai said almost blandly, "They say it is never too late for revenge. Now is your chance to take revenge for the four soldiers I killed, and my chance to take revenge for my mother and aunt. But before one of us dies, do you have anything to say for yourself?"
There was a long moment of silence in which both warriors felt the air itself was suffocating them. Kanbei wondered if he would have spared Shizuka's life if he knew there was a child in the picture. But he already knew the answer. Knowing of Kyuuzou's existence then would have made his decision more painful, but it would not have changed the outcome.
A soldier's duty could not be set aside. But neither could a son's.
Finally, Kanbei spoke as he bowed his head in resignation. "I wish I could tell you that I am sorry, but I cannot."
"So you would do it again even if I begged for my mother's life just as Sanae begged for the Amanushi's worthless life?" Kyuuzou was now speaking with a raised voice.
"The matter was bigger than me or your mother," Kanbei said as earnestly as he could even though he felt utterly hollow, "It was a matter of family honor, of clan honor. I could not, and would not refuse the duty my daimyo gave me."
"Honor?" Kyuuzou spat the word out. "Does 'honor' mean that people who want nothing more than to live in peace have to die so that you, your family and your clan can 'save face'?!!"
Kanbei had no answer. The older man once again found himself faced with a problem that could not be cut open with a sword.
"And you said you loved me!" the cold samurai gave a bitter, hollow laugh. "You pathetic liar! If you had seen me that day, you would have killed me together with my family."
"No, this is not true!" Kanbei cried out. He would like to think he would never have lifted his sword against a ten-year-old Kyuuzou sixteen years ago. But now there was no way to prove it to the scarlet samurai or even to himself. Yet there was one thing the old ronin knew for certain - he did not want to lift his sword against Kyuuzou now. The dark warrior opened his mouth to speak but the younger man cut him off.
"I don't need you to be sorry! I just need your head as an offering before the graves my family." Kyuuzou's tone had turned cruelly mocking. "You can do me the favor of handing it over, or I can take it from you. I would prefer the latter though. I've always wanted to fight a legend."
Kanbei's eyes widened with horror. The fair-haired warrior was using the exact same words Kanbei said to Shizuka before their duel 16 years earlier. Wherever young Kyuuzou was hidden at that time, the child must have heard everything. Or even seen everything.
Kanbei met the younger man's malicious regard. He realized this was the same burning gaze he had felt boring into his back when he stood over the decapitated Shimada Shizuka in that farmhouse so many years ago. The red warrior's face was young but the hate in it was old. Looking into the eyes of Shizuka's bloodthirsty son, the white-clad warrior felt as if someone was twisting a dull knife in his heart - slowly.
"My mother died because she did not have it in her heart to kill you." Kyuuzou gave a small, bitter smile, "But I am not like her, I will have no mercy." The young samurai's hands went to his sword hilts.
"Whenever I felt a twinge of pity for anyone I had to kill, I thought of you." Kyuuzou said spitefully. "All I had to do was remember how you showed no mercy. And then I could kill without blinking."
These words cut Shimada Kanbei to the core. In a way, he created the Kyuuzou who now stood before him. The old soldier sensed the noose of fate tightening around his neck. All these years, the powers had been weaving the rope that would now choke him. Kanbei knew he could not escape. Nor did he particularly want to.
The red-clad samurai had already unsheathed his twin swords and was rushing straight at the older man. Shimada did not move. Kyuuzou's right blade came to rest against the taller samurai's neck. But the scarlet warrior did not press in further. Instead, he screamed in Kanbei's face, "Draw your sword! Draw!"
"If you want vengeance, I cannot deny you." The dark ronin said quietly. "Just kill me now."
"Coward!" Kyuuzou shouted, "Will you not give me satisfaction?"
"I cannot give you an apology. But I can give you my life." Kanbei sighed as he closed his eyes.
"I will not strike you down without a sword in your hand!" Kyuuzou was almost beside himself with frustration and rage.
"I have lost the person I love – not once, but twice," the dark ronin thought in agony. "Heaven has restored him to me, only to take him from me again. And this time, in a way perhaps even more final than death. One can say this is my just reward."
Kanbei opened his dark eyes and looked straight into the angry red eyes of the younger man. "No matter who wins this match, we will both be losers," Kanbei said softly.
Kyuuzou shook with fury. He had heard these words before, but not from Kanbei. The crimson warrior applied a little more pressure to his blade, just puncturing the older samurai's skin. "Draw!" he commanded again.
"You are right. You are my retribution." Kanbei said with a hint of despair as a trickle of warm blood slid down his neck, "I caused the deaths of two people for seeking life over death and choosing love over war. Heaven has made it my reward to fall madly, desperately in love with someone who can only hate me."
Kyuuzou's lower lip began to tremble, but he stilled his shaking hands and maintained the pressure of his sword against the tall samurai's throat. As his blade bit into the other man's flesh, the crimson samurai felt as if he was cutting his own heart, but he ignored the pain.
The dark warrior did not flinch. Instead, he spoke in a pained whisper: "I regret I do not have more than one life for you to take. This life you can end in vengeance for your mother's death. If I have a second life, it is yours to take too, as payment for the life of your mother's friend. And if I have a third life, I will gladly give it to you. As recompense for the young life I ruined."
"Stop your nonsense!" Kyuuzou screamed. He felt the tears sting his eyes but he would not let them fall. Instead, Kyuuzou pressed the blade yet a little deeper into the older man's flesh. He would never have guessed it would hurt so much to hurt that man, but Kyuuzou disregarded his own agony and shouted. "Fight me! Now!"
"After I die, please return this sword to Katsushiro," Kanbei said resignedly. Then he put his hand on his sword hilt reluctantly. Kyuuzou stepped back to allow him a fair distance. When Kanbei drew his sword, the red samurai attacked with a whirlwind barrage of strikes.
After a few exchanges, it became quite apparent to Kanbei this was not the Kyuuzou he dueled before. The red samurai's reflexes were now slower, nor did he have the same level of physical power. His ki was not as strong as it was before either. While the older man had seen his victory as doubtful during their first match, Kanbei was surprised to realize it was within his power to defeat Kyuuzou this time.
But Kyuuzou was still a master swordsman, despite the limitations of his resurrected body. It was far easier to kill such a dangerous opponent than to disarm him. To try the latter might cost Kanbei his own life.
"Stop this madness! Don't throw your life away!" The old ronin shouted as he parried a few lightning fast strikes from the slender samurai's twin swords.
"That condescending man!" Kyuuzou thought. He was ready to die. And he might not be the one to die. The only answer Kyuuzou gave Kanbei was to attack more fiercely. Kanbei dodged, parried and retreated as far as he could. Then he came to the point where he realized he might be the one to decide which one of them would leave this place alive. As a man, Kanbei would gladly have let Kyuuzou kill him if it meant the person he loved could live on, but as a warrior, he knew it was dishonorable to throw the match. Much as it pained him, Kanbei knew the person he loved would prefer defeat to a false victory.
As the scarlet samurai went in for a diagonal slash across Kanbei's torso, the older man twisted out of the way. The slighter warrior followed through with his other sword. His offense missed his cunning target again, leaving a very brief opening for a quick adversary to take advantage of. Kanbei aimed a fatal strike to his opponent's head. If the strike went home, death would be quick.
Kyuuzou tried to execute a scissor block with his twin blades to ward off this powerful blow from Kanbei. But his unconditioned new body was not quite quick enough to close the opening in time. The damning realization that he had mistimed his opponent came into Kyuuzou's scarlet eyes as he saw the descending blade flash in the sun.
But the sword never touched Kyuuzou's flesh. The scarlet samurai stared at the blade hovering two inches above his face. Then he started quivering with anger.
"Finish what you started." The young man spoke coldly as he glared past the naked blade into the dark eyes of the older warrior.
Kanbei's response was to retract his sword in one quick motion. He sheathed it resolutely.
"You won! Kill me!" Kyuuzou shouted. "Finish what you came here to do 16 years ago!"
"You are not my daimyo or my shogun," Kanbei said as gently as he could. "You do not command me. I don't have to kill you." He turned his back on his opponent.
Kyuuzou rushed in front of him. "YOU started me on the road of killing. And you think you can just walk away." The young man said in a dangerously quiet tone.
"I am not walking away from this place," the older man stated calmly as he looked down into those angry red eyes. He stepped past Kyuuzou and strode briskly towards the two graves. The old ronin knelt down in front of the grave marker. He unsheathed his sword once more and brought it to his neck. He was about to slide the clean blade across his throat when Kyuuzou threw down his right sword and rushed between Kanbei and the grave of Shizuka and Rumi. A pale hand seized the ronin's naked blade.
Kanbei felt his heart seize when he saw Kyuuzou's blood run down his sword. "Let go!" the tall man commanded as dark brown eyes met cold red eyes.
The slight warrior kneeling before Kanbei did not let go. "What do you think you are doing?" Kyuuzou asked through clenched teeth as his jaw quivered almost imperceptibly with pain.
"You wanted my head for an offering before your family's grave." Kanbei said. "Please let go of my sword." He could feel Kyuuzou's agony, feel the young man's flesh being cut as if it was his own.
"No, not this way," Kyuuzou gritted his teeth. "I have to take your head. I failed."
"What do I have to do to make you let go of my sword?" Kanbei asked in desperation as Kyuuzou's blood flowed down the blade, forming ever-widening crimson spots on Kanbei's white robe. The dark ronin could not bear to see the young warrior in pain.
"Finish me." Kyuuzou answered with cold firmness. "I don't need your condescension."
"Take your hand off my blade and I will give you a rematch," Kanbei said in an anguished voice. He did not want to fight Kyuuzou again but he did not know what else do to.
To the old soldier's great relief, Kyuuzou released his hold on the bloody sword.
Kanbei immediately tried to take the young man's wounded right hand but Kyuuzou snatched his hand away from the tall ronin. The blond glared at Shimada.
"We can't fight now. Not before your hand is healed." Shimada said. "It won't be fair."
"I can use my other hand." The scarlet-eyed warrior replied calmly as he stood up. Kanbei could not tear his eyes away from the sight of Kyuuzou's blood flowing from that open wound crossing his palm. The crimson liquid was running down those slender fingers and falling onto the earth before the grave, like a poured offering for the dead. Only it was blood and not wine that the earth was drinking.
The old ronin realized that if Kyuuzou could not kill him, the vengeful son's only honorable choice was to take his place as the intended offering to the spirits of the deceased.
As the blood offering from the unintended victim seeped into the ground, Shimada could sense the energy in the clearing change, as if a portal was opening between the world of the living and the realm of the dead. The tall samurai felt an odd chill in the air and gave an involuntary shudder. Was this charged atmosphere the effect of his own guilty conscience and tortured imagination?
If Kyuuzou felt the change in atmosphere, he did not show any reaction. The slender young man calmly walked over to the spot where he dropped his right sword Suirou. He sheathed his other sword Karou which he held in his left hand. Then the warrior picked up the fallen Suirou.
Kanbei tried to delay the inevitable. "I have noticed… your resurrected body is not in the same state of conditioning as your old body. Perhaps you should train for a little longer before we fight again."
Kyuuzou raised his voice just slightly. "I have already told you, I do NOT need your condescension." The slender warrior pointed the sword Suirou at Kanbei. "Now fight me!"
Kanbei's eyes came to rest on Kyuuzou's bleeding right hand. But he had given his word. Reluctantly, the dark-haired ronin raised his bloody sword and prepared to duel once more.
This time, it was as if the spirit had gone out of the old soldier. It was sheer torment to fight someone he wanted to heal, not kill. He wanted so much to ease the silent samurai's pain, to comfort him in his agony. He wanted to gently and carefully bind up Kyuuzou's bleeding hand, not to raise the sword against him. But all these things were now forever denied to him. What choice did he have left?
Kanbei barely tried to defend himself from Kyuuzou's attacks. But these half-hearted attempts at parrying and countering only angered the scarlet warrior further. He would compel the old man to fight him as an equal. An angled strike to the head should force his sworn enemy to take him seriously or finish Kanbei off. But the slender warrior hit an invisible barrier as he tried to stab the man.
The surprised warrior tried to hack Kanbei once more, only to hit the unseen wall between him and Kanbei. He started with surprise.
"What trickery and witchcraft is this?" the young man shouted angrily. "You coward! Fight me!"
But Kanbei looked as confused as he was. It was then they heard a voice speak. "Kyuuzou…"
"Aunty?" the stunned young man recognized Rumi's voice. He cast his eyes about his surroundings but saw no Aunt Rumi. "Where are you?"
"Your mother and I are passed beyond the edge of this world. But your spilled blood has called us back this once… I speak now so that you may live on, and not come to us before your time." The disembodied voice spoke.
Then they heard a second ghostly voice. "Kisshoumaru…"
"Kisshoumaru?" Kyuuzou recognized his mother's voice, but who was Kisshoumaru?
"Okaa-sama!" Kyuuzou cried out just as Kanbei said in a fearful voice, "Cousin Shizuka, is that you?"
"It was I who stood between the two of you, a moment ago." The second disembodied voice answered.
Kanbei cast his eyes about the clearing uneasily while Kyuuzou asked the sky. "Why, Mother? Why did you not let me kill him? He is our enemy!"
"Because… enough people have already died over this matter of 'honor'…And he has suffered on your account as you have on his…" came the cryptic reply.
"On my account? Why do you say that?" Kyuuzou cried out, confused. "I don't understand!" He was the one who suffered in shame, loneliness and despair all these years, kept breathing only by the thought of vengeance, while that uncaring, indifferent samurai went about gaining 'glory' and enjoying life. Kanbei could not have suffered as he did.
Then the two men heard Rumi's voice speak again. "Go together to the Temple of En in Nakatsu Province. There is an enchanted pool there. They say when people look into the water together, they can see all the times they shared, even the times they did not know they crossed paths."
"I do not understand…" Kyuuzou said in a tormented voice.
"You will, once you do as your aunt says," Shizuka's voice spoke gently. "I will meet you there when you look into the waters of the pool."
Then the two men heard no more voices in the stillness of the graveyard.
Author's Comments
All right, dear readers, I don't plan on releasing further chapters of Retribution until I've released part of companion fic Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor. You'll see why if you read upcoming chapters of Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor. That story contains yet another piece of Kanbei and Kyuzo's shared past – a key detail that might solve (or complicate) the Kanbei/Kyuzo dilemma here. So please follow Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor. (More chapters should be out soon.)
- "No matter who wins this match, we will both be losers" was first spoken in Chapter 10.
- En can be roughly translated to be the 'destiny' of relationships. To have 'en' with something/someone is to be fated to meet and share a path. Anyway, the concept is rather difficult to explain. There is a saying, "Without en, you can be neighbors and never know each other. With en, you will cross a thousand miles to meet each other."
- In this story, Kyuuzou and Kanbei have 'en' – they have crossed paths a few times before S7 even without knowing it. See companion fics Unforgiven, Wolf Warriors and Price of Mercy, Cost of Honor.
- The child Kyuuzou put a curse in Kanbei in Unforgiven: "May the one he loves hate him." Perhaps this curse has come true in the form of Kyuuzou himself. To a lesser extent, it also came true in prequel fic Edge of Alienation (still in progress), in Kanbei's relationship with an OC. And Kanbei had the hunch his love life was cursed in the even earlier prequel fic One Life, One Love, when Kanbei became engaged to someone who did not love him (but did not hate him either).
- The idea of dueling in front of the grave of someone beloved came from Saikaku's Great Mirror of Male Love. In Saikaku's book, there was a short story about a samurai who accidentally killed another samurai during a hunting trip. The killer shot a distant moving object thinking it was a deer. It turned out to be a man. The man's male lover, another samurai, traced the killer's identity from the arrow found in his lover's body. He later challenged the killer to a duel in front to his lover's grave, taking 'revenge' for the accidental killing.
- "The old ronin realized that if Kyuuzou could not kill him, the vengeful son's only honorable choice was to take his place as the intended offering to the spirits of the deceased."
This line was inspired by an incident from Chinese history. (Song Dynasty maybe? I don't remember the exact time period.) A soldier and a male actor loved each other. When rebels attacked the city, the warrior was killed. The actor tried to take revenge for his lover, but was unsuccessful, so he took his own life. A commentator from a later era noted that this act would have been honored by contemporaries if the actor had been a woman. But because he was a man of low social class (entertainment professionals were traditionally considered one step up from prostitutes), his 'sacrifice' was 'ignored' by public opinion.
- Kyuuzou's swords Suirou and Karou were given to him in Wolf Warriors chapter "Big Brother". The swords had no names then, but Kyuuzou later named them "Water Wolf" and "Fire Wolf" after Second Sister Mizuho (since the first kanji in her name is 'water') and Third Sister Ayame (who has a fiery temper).