Chapter 25

After a quick drink of water and a silly disagreement over modern art, Carol and him were ready to go and investigate the abandoned white van on the overpass. They made their way back out of the fancy office building and onto the skybridge, with Carol leading the way, and that was when things to a bad turn. He was not even halfway through the padlocked doors when she said his name and as he looked up, right at a kid aiming Carol's riffle at his face. No sooner than he'd gotten back on his feet, the kid was telling him to give up his crossbow and, for a second, he wondered if he'd even have the moxie to pull that trigger if he didn't. But then again, he'd just had the guts to ambushed them and steal Carol's gun, maybe it was best not to test him out.

Mere moments later, his crossbow was on the boy's shoulder and they were fighting the walkers from the tents, the very same ones they hadn't bothered with on their way in. That had been a mistake, obviously. Still, as Carol raised her gun toward the kid as he limped his way out, he couldn't let her shoot him, hitting the gun with one hand and getting an outraged look from her for his trouble. Even though he'd stolen their weapons, the boy had left them alive and now, they would do the same.

He chose not to say anything as Carol argued that she was aiming for the kid's leg, arguing about this wasn't worth it. Sure, she was right that without weapons they could die, and that would mean that Beth could to, but they weren't really without weapons, now were they? They still had their knives and three bullets, if they were smart, they could make it and find more weapons along the way. That wasn't worth maiming or killing a kid. There weren't that many lines he wasn't willing to cross anymore, but kids were it, and even if the boy was probably eighteen, the squirrelly way he was acting proved he was really just that.

"I don't want you to die," she raged, as he tried to get a door opened. "I don't want Beth to die. I don't want anybody at the church to die, but I can't stand around and watch it happen either."

The words hit him harder than he let it show. That was why she'd left, so she wouldn't have to see them die one by one. She wanted to be away from them, from the people she cared about and who cared about her. Because being near the group would mean caring for people just to have them be taken from you. His mouth went dry as those words repeated inside his brain - caring for people just to have them be taken from you - he remembered them now clear as day, how Michelle had told him exactly that after he'd offered her to join Beth and him. How angry and upset she'd seemed that he would suggest such a thing, because it meant potentially allowing someone in again and risking to lose them. The pang of guilt he'd felt in the car was back and it wasn't just a pang anymore, it was like ice water drenching him from head to toe. He had all but abandoned her, and he couldn't let himself die here now, without her knowing why he'd left. Damn that freaking kid for stealing their weapons!

"...that's why I left. I just had to be somewhere else."

"Well, you ain't somewhere else; you're right here. Tryin'," he replied, abruptly, some of the anger he was feeling against himself coming out at her. It wasn't fair to talk to her like that. She was finally telling him what was really on her mind, and he was letting his own emotions get in the way, but right now, all he wanted was for them to find Beth and then head back to the church. He wanted to prove to Carol that they could still save people, like they would be saving Beth. He wanted her to realize that the place for her was with the group, that they were all they had left and leaving, just because someone might die wasn't the right choice. He wanted to tell her all that, but instead, he turned back toward the doorknob, still fighting with it.

"Look, you're not who you were and neither am I," she said as he finally got the frustrating door open. Those words lingered in his head and he wasn't sure what she meant by that; obviously, he knew he'd changed, adapted to this world and probably better than some because he had no real desire to go back to how his life was before the outbreak. Sure, he'd love for his brother to still be alive but he was just about the only thing he missed from his old life. Beyond that, he still had work to do in order to become who he wanted to be. But, he was trying.

Carol picked up his bag from the floor forcefully and the whole thing emptied onto the ground. He saw her eyes go straight to the book he'd stolen from the shelter before connecting with his. He grabbed it, wanting to hide it or throw it away, maybe claim he was gonna to set it on fire to lure walkers away or some other excuse, but she just took it back from him, shoving it back into his bag along with everything else as if nothing happened. He didn't say it, but he was thankful for that.

They found their way out of the building and with some luck, the few walkers they encountered were few and far between and easily disposed of with only their knives. They walked under the midday sun, through downtown and onto the overpass, looking at what had become of the city since the last time they were here which felt like a lifetime ago. Right now, as they got closer to the white van with nothing around them but remains of what had been, they could almost believe themselves to be the last two people alive.

The van was hanging in a precarious position, just about ready to take a nosedive at the first bit of pressure, to the point where Daryl couldn't help his surprise as he opened the back doors and the whole thing didn't just flying. Carol offered to climb inside herself, since she was lighter than him, but this was his to do. He had the feeling this van would help them find where was Beth was being held and, also, if the van was to go over, there was no way in hell he was risking Carol's life to save his own. With that thought, he pushed himself up and climbed inside.

He was barely in, that she was joining him. The whole thing rattled as he dropped himself in the driver's seat and he ignored it, instead focusing on the papers he'd just found. Unfortunately, there wasn't really anything useful there. Only maps of the area and none of them seemed to have any new information to give them as to where those people might have been holding up. And very quickly, the unfortunately common sound of walkers snarling made itself heard, being the only people for possibly miles, it seemed they'd attracted quite a crowd of them.

They were so close. So close to finding Beth, he could just feel it. He could almost picture her face as they'd get her back, big blue eyes shining at them. She'd probably sing in the car on the way back if he asked her. She would be so happy to be back with them, with her family. He could already imagine the look on Maggie's face when she would see her sister and how she'd hold on to her for far longer than necessary. Michelle would probably be standing a little ways away, trying to keep her expression from revealing too much but, her smile would win and her eyes glisten behind her glasses. And at last, they'd all be back together. His whole family. And he was not about to let a few walkers mess up that plan!

He was just about to get out of the van, when he turned the stretcher over, looking for something else to be used as a weapon but instead, he found a tag Property of GMH. He asked Carol if she knew what it stood for, and as soon as she said Grady Memorial, his mind was filling in the last word. Hospital. That had to be where they were holding up. Where they were holding Beth. They didn't have the time, or the bullets, or the weapons to take out the small herd that was forming at the back of the van. Mentally, he cursed that boy again as he urged Carol back into the van. Maybe he should have let her shoot him...

He managed to close the doors behind him as the dead piled up against them, they had no where to go and nothing they could use. He met Carol's eyes and she knew right away what he was thinking, as she was certainly thinking the same thing. They carefully settled in the seats, trying not to rock the van even more. He knew buckling up their seat belts wouldn't do anything for them, really, except make them feel a little safer, but that was already something in and of itself. As Carol's hand came to rest upon his, he hoped, with all his might, that they would make it out of this alive. They'd come so far, they were so close. They needed to make it.

The fall, it felt like everything around him had just slowed down to a snail's pace. As if they were suspended in the air and the ground was miles away. He could hear the blood rushing past his ears, could feel his heart beating at a million beats per minute. And as they hit the ground, his forehead hit the stirring wheel and for a second, he wasn't in the van anymore, he was back in the funeral home with the two of them, listening to Beth sitting at the piano singing some slow, gentle song as Michelle nodded off on that fancy little couch. What had she called it again... A fainting couch. Fainting. That was probably what had just happened to him, if only for a few moments.

Carol's whispers brought him back to reality, as she repeated over and over that they were okay. They'd made it. They were alive, somehow. He sighed in relief, only to have his heart nearly burst out of his chest as a walker hit the windshield and others followed it, hitting the roof with a horrible sound. After waiting out the downfall of corpses, they left the van, both slow and bruised, holding onto the other for support, but glad to be alive.

It wasn't until they were back in the city, until his head was a little clearer that he realized in how bad a shape she was. Her entire right arm looked purple as did parts of her chest; he'd been lucky that the airbag had deployed but it hadn't been the case for her. He should have made her sit in the driver's seat... He wanted to go and find a building in which to observe before they rushed into the hospital, maybe find some more weapons as well and give Carol some time to recuperate a little, but she seemed ready to go. Even in this state, she was a force of nature.

There was an office building nearby that gave them a great view of the hospital. Most walkers inside were too weak to really be any kind of menace but, after what had happened earlier with that kid and the tent walkers, he made sure to take them all out. One of them was still snarling, holding on to a machete he had died with, he took care of it and relieved it of its weapon. A machete could come in useful, plus it would be a good weapon for Michelle once they got back to the church. He grabbed a bag of food from the floor, mostly stuff that had been taken from a vending machine it seemed, as Carol went to the window.

As soon as she said it was, indeed, the people with white crosses hiding in the hospital, he hurried to her side. Across the way, there were two more white vans like the one they'd just crashed and they both had the crosses painted on their back windows. This was definitely the place. He handed Carol one of the bags of chips he'd just found as they settled against the window still.

"You said I ain't how I was before," he mentioned, in what he hoped was a casual way, leaning against the machete. That thing she said had been in his head since she'd first brought it up and now he just had to know what she meant. "How was I?"

She looked away from the window and right at him, in that way she had that made him feel like she was reading whatever was inside his head. "It's like you were a kid. Now you're a man."

He didn't quite know what to say to that, he wasn't even sure how true it was, but if she saw him that way, he would take it under consideration. Maybe he'd been changing more than he realized. "What about you," he asked, watching her playing with the chips more than eating them.

She confirmed what he'd thought, about her and Sophia going back to Ed almost immediately after the shelter and what had happened after that. How that wasn't who she was anymore and that she was glad for it. How the prison had given her the chance to become who she'd always thought she should have been, like it had with him. And how that new self she'd chosen had also been burned away.

"Everything now just... consumes you."

"Well, hey... we ain't ashes."

As he said that, he realized how strongly he believed it. Even if just after the prison, he would have agreed with her, now he didn't. They weren't dead, they could still make a life for themselves. It wouldn't be the sort of lives people had before, but the word still turned and people still could find things to be happy about and that was important. He looked back at the hospital, thinking about how Beth had been the one to help bring him back from the brink and now, he would be the one to bring her back to their group. He'd probably never be able to even out what she'd done for him, but this would be a good first step in that direction. Maybe she'd be able to bring back some hope to Carol like she had done for Michelle and him.

They both looked away from the window at the same time, a loud thud somewhere in one of the back offices telling them they had company. Grabbing their bags, they walked down the corridor, the sound of a walker echoing around them. As they came upon it, he frowned, looking at it immobilize against the column by one of his bolts. He barely had time to kill that walker when they heard the familiar gunfire of a riffle nearby. Coming around the corner, he saw the kid with their weapons struggling with one of the dead before pushing it on Carol. It wasn't until she assured him she was alright, that he took off running following the thief down the dark corridor. That boy was about to regret following them.

He found him trying to block a door with a bookshelf, only to have the whole thing tumble over on top of them. He made it out quickly, but the kid was pinned down and he couldn't say he felt much sympathy for him. After all, it was because of him that Carol was in the state she was in, that they'd been slowed down this much in their rescue effort and that they would have been almost completely defenseless had they taken on the people at the hospital before now. Grabbing their weapons, he was ready to leave him behind, leave him to the walker behind the door, especially after he claimed that he hadn't been following them, that he thought they'd been following him. He called bullshit. Despising the kid even more now that he was showing himself not only be a thief but a liar as well.

He grabbed a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up and began heading back toward their watch post but Carol called him back, yelling at him to help the boy because she couldn't. He reminded her about the near death experience she'd just gone through because of that kid but she didn't care. He turned his back once more, and the last time she called his name sounded so desperate, he couldn't help but turn back, taking out the walker with his newly returned crossbow. He didn't do it for the boy, he was honestly still pissed at him for a multitude of reasons, but for Carol, he'd do most anything.

She pushed the corpse off the bookshelf as he grabbed the top of it, straining as he lifted the heavy wooden furniture and moments later, the boy was free. He thanked them over and over and Daryl just hoped they wouldn't come to regret this decision...

He was checking on Carol, making sure she was alright, or at least not worst than she'd been earlier, when the kid began rambling madly to himself about people coming to get him. People who might heard the shot. He sounded crazy, really. Or maybe he still called the walkers people. Curious, he asked him who they were.

"Them, people at the hospital."

He was stunned into silence for a second. Maybe saving that boy wouldn't be their downfall, maybe it was a godsend. He stepped forward, causing the kid to take a limping step back in, what seemed to be, fear. He just had to know. He had to know she was there. He had to know she was alive and that he hadn't nearly killed the two of them on some fool's errand. He knew how strong Beth could be when she set her mind to it, how stubborn too, but who knew what does people were and they might have done.

"...is there a blonde girl there? D'you see a blonde girl?" He asked, having to stop his hands from shaking and his mouth from stumbling on his words.

"Beth? You know her?"

Carol's head snapped forward, meeting his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. The kid was telling them how she'd help him get out of Grady but that she'd gotten caught herself. She was still at the hospital. She was just blocks away and soon, she'd be back where she belonged, back with them.

They heard the car down the alley and with a quick glance, Carol confirmed what the boy at been saying. They were here, and the three of them had to go. They made it down to the first floor as fast as they could, even they were slowed down by injuries. The boy, who'd introduced himself as Noah, assured them the building next door's basement was clear and would be the place to hide nearby. They were headed there when Noah tripped, his limp making it hard to move that quickly. He urged Carol ahead, grabbing on to the kid and helping him back up. He heard one of the doors open ahead of them, Carol was checking if the coast was clear and they would meet up with her in the next building. He finally had the boy back on his feet when she made a run for it across the alley, he watched her go when, to his horror, the car came out of nowhere.

Inside he felt paralyzed, but he knew he was trashing and shouting as Noah tried to hold him back without much success. Two men stepped out of the car, approaching her, and all he wanted to do was to get them away from her, to see if she was okay. She had to be. If there was anything good left in the world, Carol had to survive this. He would never forgive himself if she died because of him. Noah was still trying to talk him down, talking about those people having medicine and machines and a doctor. About how they were the only ones who could help Carol right now. He was still fighting him, but his strength was fading quickly, leaving him just panting as they loaded Carol up in their car and drove off. This was all his fault.

"We can get her back. We can get Beth back." He turned to face him, his mind racing as he asked what it would take to make that happen. "A lot. They've got guns. People."

If that was all they had, they could take them, but they'd need to get reinforcement first. They'd go back to the church and grab everyone and all everything they had. They'd get back here as fast as they could and they'd take back their people. He would bring Beth and Carol home, if that was the last thing he ever did.