Amanda cracked her neck, feeling tired and sore. She had slept in the car the night before, which probably hadn't been a good idea, but she hadn't been able to stay awake for much longer. She'd stayed awake the entire time they were on the ferry, and it had left her feeling dazed and disoriented.
At least, when she'd woken up, nothing had been stolen and she wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere. It did seem like Mystique was being true to her word. They probably did need someone like her to make sure Kurt didn't bolt the minute he saw her.
On some level, Amanda felt like she was a traitor. The last thing Kurt needed right now were people like his mother interrupting whatever life he'd managed to build. He deserved to be able to have some peace.
However, if people were going to kill him, and it looked like they were, she would take whatever means necessary to get to where he was. If that meant hitching a ride with people like his mother, then she was would do it.
After she got to New York, well, that would change. Amanda would have to weigh her options very carefully and, at the moment, she wasn't sure if she was in any position to do much of that. Not right now, not with so many variables unknown.
"Are you awake?" Mystique asked.
"Unfortunately," Amanda grumbled.
She ran a hand through her hair. It hadn't been washed in days. A loud snort brought her out of her musings.
"Is Logan asleep?" she asked.
"Yes," Mystique answered, "We're taking turns. We should be at Westchester in about eight hours."
Amanda's stomach flipped, and she breathed in slowly. Eight hours. After a month of pain and loneliness, that was all that stood between her and Kurt, the last person she had in the entire world.
If, of course, he was where they thought he was.
"How do we even know Kurt's still at Westchester?" asked Amanda.
Although she tried to keep her tone light, there was some genuine worry behind her words. She'd always wondered what Kurt would do if he found he couldn't stay with his uncle. It was their only meeting place. Would he go and then come back? She didn't know.
"He'll still be there," Mystique said, "My brother won't throw him out. He's probably trying to convince him to stay there forever."
Amanda gave the back of Mystique's head a concentrated look, but she didn't turn away from the road.
"He's that hospitable?" asked Amanda.
"Charles loves taking in strays," Mystique said, "Always had, always will. The fact Kurt's my son means that, not only will the door be open, all of the windows will be too. He'd probably roll out the red carpet."
She digested the information, slowly rolling it around in her head. Her English wasn't perfect, but she had always been able to speak it without the accent that plagued Kurt. Amanda wanted to make sure she fully understood what Mystique had said before asking any more questions.
When she felt confident enough about what Mystique had meant, she spoke.
"How come you didn't leave Kurt with him then?" asked Amanda.
Mystique turned her head slightly.
"Given that, earlier, you didn't want to share any personal details with me, I reserve the right to tell you absolutely nothing too," Mystique said.
Amanda rolled her eyes. Great. She stared out the window, choosing her next words with care. Amanda had to annoy Mystique just enough.
"I did some research on Westchester over the past month or so," Amanda said, "It wasn't easy, but I hear it's a really nice area. Kind of expensive."
Mystique didn't say anything. She had the feeling she was on the right track.
"It just baffles me why a woman who grew up with money would want her son raised by some near-penniless circus performers," Amanda said, "Especially when she could've given him to her rich brother."
"I didn't come from money," Mystique said.
"But your brother did?" asked Amanda.
She saw Amanda's blue fingers grip the steering wheel tightly.
"I was adopted," she said.
Now that really did take the cake.
"So you knew what it was like to be abandoned," Amanda said, "And you did it to your son anyway."
"You're rather judgmental," Mystique said.
"I'm trying to understand," said Amanda, "I want to know why you left Kurt with my mother all those years ago, because I know he's going to want to know."
"He won't have to know if we do this right," Mystique said.
"And what is right in this situation exactly?" Amanda asked, "I don't know what your game plan is here."
Logan grunted from his seat, and both women paused. The last thing they needed was for him to enter the conversation. It would most likely kill it, and Amanda needed it to continue. However, he didn't move and Amanda relaxed a little.
"Look," Amanda said, "Either way, this is going to hurt Kurt. I'm just trying to reduce the damage."
"You seem awfully sure of yourself," said Mystique.
"I'm an optimist," Amanda said.
Mystique shook her head.
"You don't understand what you're asking," she said.
"Yes, I do," Amanda said, "I'm asking why you abandoned him all those years ago."
"Are you complaining?" snapped Mystique, "You two are together, aren't you?"
Her brow furrowed. Amanda had no idea how Mystique had figured that one out.
"Yes," she said.
"Then just take what positives you can get," Mystique said, her voice still snappish, "You never would've met Kurt if I hadn't given him to your mother."
Amanda chuckled to herself. She knew Kurt would have more conviction in the answer she was about to give, but that didn't mean she didn't believe it. Too much had happened in Amanda's life not to believe this.
"God wanted us to be together," she said, "He would've found a way even if Kurt had grown up in New York."
Mystique paused. She obviously hadn't been expecting that answer.
"That sounds...rather dumb."
Amanda shook her head.
"I figured you'd say that," she said, "But we've needed each other over the years. Maybe he wouldn't have needed me as much as he has if he grew up with his family, with other people who cared deeply about him and wanted good things for him. Not that my mother hated him, not until recently, but he never quite felt like he belonged with our family."
"That's not what I asked her to do," Mystique said tightly.
"I saw that note," Amanda said, "It's why Kurt's with your brother right now. You didn't really explain very much."
"Margali knew exactly what I wanted when I wrote that. We'd discussed it."
Now that did take her by surprise.
"You discussed abandoning your son with her?" asked Amanda.
"I discussed her taking care of Kurt if anything happened to me," Mystique snapped.
"But you're still here," Amanda said.
"Yes," Mystique said bitterly, "I am."
Now that was something to file away. Amanda began marshalling her next words. There was so much she could find out, so much she could tell Kurt. Knowing Kurt, he'd probably want to meet his mother, but he'd need to be prepared.
Mystique was not a kind woman, and Amanda doubted she was particularly affectionate. Kurt deserved the ability to choose whether or not he wanted to see her, and Amanda wouldn't stop him when the time came. She would just be there to try to help him with the resulting hurt.
"And God didn't want you to be with Kurt," Mystique said, "He's not that cruel."
Amanda let out a shallow breath. Red flashed in front of her eyes, but she knew it would be a bad idea to hurt the person who was driving the car.
"Explain," she hissed from clenched teeth.
"Earlier you told me Kurt never hurt anyone," Mystique said, "Doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened."
Despite Mystique's assertion, Amanda still felt puzzled. Combined with her rage, it was a rather potent mixture.
"Still have no clue what you're talking about," she said.
Mystique flicked her eyes toward her.
"If you're going to play it that way," Mystique said, "Then fine. Kurt didn't kill Stefan."
Amanda squeezed her eyes shut. If only that were true.
"You did."
For a moment, Mystique's words didn't register. Then they did, as slowly as ice moving down the side of a mountain, and with just as much force when it crashed.
"He covered for you, didn't he?" Mystique asked.
The words Amanda wanted to spit back were swallowed by a nameless rage.
"Stupid boy," Mystique muttered.
Finally, Amanda opened her eyes.
"You're an idiot."
The car slowed, and then pulled over. Mystique turned around in her seat. Amanda didn't flinch.
"You. Are. An. Idiot," Amanda seethed, "You have absolutely no idea, do you?"
"About what?"
"About your son," snapped Amanda, "You don't know what kind of a person he is. He's not a scapegoat, and he's not some damn patsy. Anyone who knows anything about him would know he wouldn't do that."
She leaned forward, the seat belt holding her in place.
"If I had killed someone, Kurt wouldn't have covered for me," she said, "He would've helped me see that turning myself in was the right thing to do. He would've been there for me, oh yes, visited me several times every week, but he wouldn't have swept it under the rug."
"You said-"
Amanda snorted.
"He never meant to hurt anyone, and, to be frank, this is actually a rather new situation in my head," Amanda said, "I wake up thinking it didn't happen, because these things aren't supposed to happen. And sometimes it's easier to pretend it didn't, to go back to the old way of doing things."
She shook her head.
"But I can't," she said, "Not any more"
It should've ended there, it really should have. However, Mystique kept talking.
"Then why did he run?" asked Mystique.
Was she so desperate to be right?
"Because there was an angry mob," Amanda said, seeing read again, "That's not justice, and it would've been dumb to stick around. We both saw that, saw there wasn't any point in sticking around."
She crossed her arms and pushed back into her chair.
"Anyone in their right mind would've known it was self-defense, but no," Amanda said, "No one was in their right mind. My mother was right about one thing: you can't trust the authorities."
Her voice was bitter and she knew it. She wasn't being fair either with that last sentence, but she didn't give a damn at the moment.
"The real funny thing though," Amanda said, "is my mother thinks I'm a whore who covered up for the man I loved. You think I'm a murderer who did the exact opposite. Both of you made dumbass judgments, and both of you are idiots."
Mystique was still looking at her, her eyes difficult to read.
"You know nothing about me, and you know nothing of Kurt," Amanda said, "And you're nothing like him either, because he wouldn't have made a snap decision about someone like that. He would at least try to listen."
She narrowed her eyes.
"He has your skin and your eyes, but he has nothing else of you in him," she said, "And I'm glad. Now get this thing started so we can catch up to him before the people trying to kill him do."
Amanda turned her head and stared resolutely out of the window. At first there was only silence, and then the car started up. Amanda didn't turn her head though, didn't say anything. In the past few minutes, she'd learned she couldn't trust Mystique.
She'd need to ditch her as soon as possible once they found Kurt.