Hunger Games Chapter 26!

Last chapter guys but don't worry because the Catching Fire Parody is coming soon!

Ok, so a few reviews said the last two chapters weren't as funny….but don't worry because I totally agree! To be honest I was kind of in a writer's block. And yes Katniss did become more "normal" but don't worry, I made sure her violence is restored….so enjoy this last chapter

I'm getting really sick of people knocking me out with my permission! I mean how hard would it be to say, "Hey Katniss, do you mind if I jab this gently used needle into your appendage?" I mean I'm always up for new experiences! …It's because I'm white isn't it! Never mind, so yea I'm now on my couch in my room in the Training center # 2. If you've forgotten I shattered the first one with a shoe I'm not wearing anything so I check my closet for clothes, none. I check the bathroom for some toilet paper to wrap myself in but yet again nothing! There are no curtains, sheets, or substances that I could make into clothing. I see a note on the wooden table as usual. It reads, "Katniss, do not be alarmed by your current nudity! Your costume will be delivered to your room ASAP-Effie." I stare at it, "ASAP, Attack Something Aggravatingly Plump?" That's how I translate it. As soon as Octavia walks in I punch her in the face! "Hey, what was that for?" she asks surprised. "The letter said ASAP," I explain. "That means As Soon As Possible!" she corrects. I punch her again. "Hey!" she screams. "You said to punch you as soon as possible," I say calmly. "Is there something wrong with you?" she asks me. "Hey, I'll be the one to ask the questions!" I say, "What's in the bag?" I ask. "Your costume, the theme is twelve year old," she says.

I pull on the strange pink dress that ties at the back and goes down to my knees. There's words on it that say Hannah Montana FOREVER! There's also a really ugly picture of Hannah Montana on it. "What's the point of this?" I ask. "Do you like it? I picked it out myself!" cries Octavia. I send a karate chop at her throat and her death is mercifully quick. I check her plump figure for anything I can use to "Katniss-ify" my outfit. Of course I find some cheeseburgers and French fries and two milk shakes and a thirty piece chicken nugget meal. Also I find a random black sharpie marker in her ear. "Oh yea, I jabbed that in there before the Games," I say to myself. I take my dress off and lay it on the ground. "Hmmmmm" I color my dress black, tear off the ten inch sleeves and rip it everywhere. Then I take a red sharpie and write Your Mom all over it. I scribble a moustache on my face and black circles around my eyes. Then I pull out my handy dandy insta-pumps and put them on my feet. I look in the mirror, "Dude, dude! I look like Lady Gaga!" I run down to the elevator where Peeta is too. He's wearing the same Hannah Montana dress except his isn't awesome like mine! His blond hair is brushed back by a pink flower head band and I'm pretty sure there's blush on his cheeks. "So, you like?" he says striking a similar pose to his Justin Beiber attempt. "I'm just glad the true you is coming out," I say rolling me eyes. I look down at his leg which is now a medal imposter. "What happened to your leg?" I ask. He looks down too, "I don't know!"

We get in the elevator and Peeta rocks out to the cheesy music that plays from its speakers. "I just love noon time jazz," he says. We arrive back stage where everyone is hustling and bustling. Haymitch walks up to us. His face is somewhat tighter and his lips stretch like a monkey. He avoids making eye contact with me. "Hey Haymitch," I say. He slightly looks up. "Your face was delicious!" I scream. A tear manages to escape his eye. "Listen you kids, the Capitol is mad!" he says. "Why?"

"Apparently beating someone with a severed arm is illegal here," he says.

"Oh, so what?" I ask.

"The Capitol's not happy and they want you dead!" says Haymitch.

"Tell them to get in line," I say dismissively.

We head up to the stage where we sit in front of a huge, apprehensive crowd. I make a "bring it" gesture and they all cringe. I sit on a plush love seat and Peeta sits next to me. I push him off. President Snow walks out and gives us each a ribbon that says, "Congrats you crazy cats!" We look at him. "What? we're on a low budget!" he says. Everyone falls silent as the Games are replayed on the screen. First they show the blood bath which I secretly record for later. Peeta is off rocking in the corner screaming. They show me eat the girl from 7 and I laugh really hard. They show me stab the tree and his little acorns morning. They show me make fun of man Lady. They show me and Rue's alliance which I smile at because I know she'd be happy that the screen is about to blow up..10..They show the boy from 3 blow up..9..They show Rue get shot with a blow gun..8..They show me kill Higgenbottum..7..Peeta's JB outfit..6..I find Timmy..5..Thresh mutilates Man Lady (HAHA)..4..Timmy disappears..3.. Fox Face dies..2..Trannys..1..Severed arm. BOOOOMMMM! The screen goes up in flames! It takes out half of the audience with it. Fire Fighters quickly extinguish the flames.

"Can someone just send her home already!" an audience member screams. President Snow nods and just like that….I'm going home….Oh Crap!

The End!