Chapter 26: Nightmares and Revelations.
I stand alone in the market amongst a sea of people, busying themselves with their day to day affairs. Some spare no manners as they brush past me violently, their knock not pulling me out of my daydream as I stare ahead intently, my bright eyes wide open as if begging for every aesthetic detail to be absorbed. There, the crowd parts like the Red Sea, permitting me to lay my eyes on my mum. Dressed in a jet black gown, she passes through the crowd confidently.
I do the first thing that comes to mind. My gut instinct. I follow her. Using the waves of the crowd to my advantage to keep myself hidden, I concentrate my stone like gaze on my mum and keep moving behind her at a steady pace. Just what is she up to? The tempting words of the persuasive merchants promoting their wares proves little distraction as I make my way forwards and gently make my way through the throng of people, my eyes not straying from my target. Where is she going? As she takes a corner unexpectedly, I do a little skip as I break into a slight jog. I can't lose her. As I get round the corner which I realise leads into a narrow alley, I see my mum standing up straight, almost rigid. As my eyes glance downwards, I notice someone hunched over. A man. My mum pulls her hand away from the man's abdomen, and it is then that I notice she is holding something. Something that has caused great damage to this poor man. A dagger. An ornate dagger. My heart sinks and my stomach drops as my eyes look at the distressed man as he looks up in shock, his eyes bulging.
"Dad!" I scream frantically, tears trickling down my cheeks and sweat rolling from my forehead as I sit up in bed, panting heavily and clutching my chest.
"Sweetheart, what is it?" my mum calls out in the dark, as she throws her duvet off of herself and attempts to clamber out of bed.
"Stay away from me!" I scream, my voice full of fear as the tears fail to cease. As my mum makes her way over to me with a concerned expression on her face, I scoot backwards, pulling my knees up to my chest.
"Megan, it was just a bad dream! Calm down…" my mum soothes as she perches herself on the side of my bed and runs her hands over my dark hair, slightly damp from sweat.
"GET OFF ME!" I bite, batting her hands away. Great. I'm now having that moment where you hold a grudge against someone you had a bad dream about, because you can't remember if it was a dream or not. Paranoia is well and truly there as well. Fun times.
"Megan, listen to me!" my mum pleads as she looks me dead in the eyes, stroking my hair and face in an attempt to calm me down. 'You've just had a nightmare. You're awake now, I'm here. Everything is ok…'
I take deep breaths at this, realising that she is right. As usual. It was only just a dream. Ooh, Nelly. Ahem…getting back to the terrifying ordeal at hand. Right, so where was I? Oh yeah. It was just a dream. After all, I'm sitting up in bed, in the pitch black, looking like a startled rabbit on a shit load of crack, who has just been electrocuted and has thus received crazy hair. And I'm fully aware rabbits don't have hair. But that is besides the point. You're starting to get very technical aren't ya? But yes. It may just have been a dream, but it felt real. Oh, so very, very real.
I take more deep breaths, and my breathing returns to normal, the tears stop streaming down my face, and my heart rate lowers to that of a normal human being.
"What on Earth made you act this way? What was your dream about?" my mum asks, concerned and curious. But more concerned. Just as well. I'd be a bit pissed if she was more curious about my freak out. I'd start getting a bit worried that she'd consider sending me off to the circus.
I go to tell her but immediately stop myself at remembering what it was actually about. 'Oh, you killed dad in cold blood. You were basically a bitch in the dream, taking my lovely dad away from me forever'. No, that wouldn't go down too well… But you know what? I still need to ask her what she used that money for. I still have my suspicions. Yes, I know, that is bad. To be suspicious of my own mum. But it's too fishy. It reeks of fish. Which doesn't smell nice at all. Now is as good a time as any to bring up the dreaded conversation. Mmhmm. That conversation. The one I've been putting off for a while now. But now is the moment. However weird it sounds, the moment feels right for me to possibly crush her soul as she realises I'm considering her as the killer. I'm totally joking. I don't want to crush her soul. See what I'm doing here? I'm totally rambling on to you guys to put it off. Big love to procrastinating!
Ok, seriously. Time to just man up and be a man about this. Let's do this mother fucking shit!
I clear my throat and squeeze the duvet in my hands. "Well, actually…you were in it. And so was dad" I start, my voice wavering.
"Oh?" my mum replies, her tone questioning, and begging me to continue.
"You stabbed him, mum. Then he looked up at me and then that is when I woke up screaming"
"Oh Megan…" my mum says sadly as she shakes her head slowly from side to side. The light has totally drained from her eyes now. I've totally crushed her soul, haven't I? No! You're not meant to nod! You're meant to make me feel better and keep me in my bubble of sweet, blissful ignorance by assuring me that I haven't! You really have no idea how this works, do you? Oh, who am I fooling? I really did just crush her soul. I've crushed my mum's soul! I'm the worst person alive right now. What's that? The killer is the worst person alive? Good God, you're right! You have now redeemed yourself. Have my last cookie. Go on, it's alright. You earned it, really.
"Mum, I'm…I'm sorry. I can't help what I dream! But I think I know why I am dreaming this. Something has been playing on my mind as of late, and I haven't yet plucked up the courage to talk to you about it" I tell, bumbling my way through my sorry apology and explanation.
"Go on…" she replies, her voice dull and monotonous, as if dreading what is coming next.
"You know Leonardo gave you a large sum of money to take as and when you needed it?" my mum nods and smiles sadly as if knowing where this is heading. I continue.
"Well, all the money was gone from the chest a day after Leonardo gave it to you, and a matter of days before dad was killed. Yet, you have nothing to show for spending the money. Mum, what did you spend the money on?"
"Not someone to kill your dad, if that is what you're thinking!" my mum firmly states, tears prickling her eyes. "Your dad may have been a right pain in the arse, but I loved him unconditionally and the last thing I would have wished on him was death"
"You've just been acting fairly odd since he died, and then with the money being discovered gone…I don't know, mum, it just doesn't feel right"
"I'm sorry you do not trust your own mother, Megan. I really am" my mum mumbles sadly as she gets up from my bed and makes her way back glumly to her own.
"So you're not going to tell me what you spent all that money on then?" I spit out, anger and suspicion getting the better of me.
"I commissioned a painter to paint a portrait of me and your dad, Megan" my mum snaps, turning around sharply, her eyes piercing into mine. "But then after walking around the market and seeing the prices of things, I decided that it wasn't the best thing to buy. So I cancelled it. But then…after he died…" my mum suddenly stops, the lump in her throat getting the better of her, "I thought it would be a nice gesture to have a portrait of your father painted in his memory. The painter had already started painting your father, so I paid him a visit and told him to continue" I suddenly feel very sheepish… "That is where the money has gone, Megan. For an object to remember my husband… and your dad" The silence that follows this hangs in the air like a freshly sharpened blade ready to drop on my head, or a nasty smell which automatically smells worse when you realise you don't have any febreeze… The short and short of it is this. This is your typical, 'shit, this is awkward' moment and all that is in my mind right now is the little emoticon that looks like a big eye, and then the small one. Effectively, Quasi Modo.
"Mum, I'm sorry… But where is this painting?"
"I can't bel- You still don't believe me? Your own moth- You know what, Megan? I'm going to bed. You believe whatever you want. But I know the truth" she rambles as she throws the covers back angrily and climbs into bed, turns over with her back facing me, and then pulls the duvet over her. Silence inevitably follows. Apart from a floorboard creaking rather eerily. I sink down in my own bed and wriggle under the covers, and let sleep overcome me.
"Morning" I grumble to Ezio as I trudge into the kitchen.
"Buongiorno, bella" Ezio charmingly replies, giving me a cheeky smile and raising an eyebrow at my trudging. Well, isn't it lovely someone finds my slightly miffed and helpless mood amusing?
"Not in the mood for your teasing this morning, Ezio. Sorry" I warn, sitting down opposite him. That wipes the smile right off his face. I'm not sure whether that's because he's sad he won't be teasing me today, or because I'm never this firm with him or anyone else for that matter and he was surprised by it.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Megan. Today shall be boring now…" he replies glumly, showing the classic puppy dog eyes and pout whilst glancing down at the table. I raise my eyebrows at him, as if to say, 'Are you thick?'
"I am joking, mia cara. Is it because of last night?" he asks, true concern showing on his face and in his voice.
"How do you know about that?" I ask, so genuinely surprised that my eyes nearly pop out.
"How could I not know? Mia cara, I think the whole of Venice heard you screaming last night" Ezio smiles.
"Did I wake you and Leonardo?" I wince, feeling terrible. Ezio simply smiles and shakes his head.
"Well, you did…" he adds, at which we both laugh, "but it doesn't matter. What matters is that you are well now. Are you?"
"I'm…fine. Just not in a good place with my mum. But it will be ok, don't worry"
"You did drop it on her rather bluntly…" Ezio responds, then trails off as if saying something he shouldn't have.
"Oh, so you were listening, eh?" I smirk, and then something hits me suddenly. "Oh my God… you were outside when the floorboard creaked, weren't you!" I exclaim, pointing at him and grinning in disbelief, at which he cannot contain his huge smile.
"I was merely concerned about you…" he replies cheekily shrugging his shoulders and rolling his eyes.
"Ok, Mr Nosey. If you say so" I grin.
"Megan, dear! There is something for your mother here!" Leonardo calls from the front room. I frown slightly with curiosity as I get up from the table and make my way to Leonardo. There, leaning against the wall by the door is a painting, with my dad smiling back at me. I groan softly and close my eyes.
Guilt isn't even the word.