Chapter 25

Self Destruct

A/N- Yeah, I kind of ended on a grim/cliffie scary moment, so this title is to make sure it stays that way! Yay!! (Just kidding, I'm just messing with you guys). The title will make more sense later on, just read on.

I didn't get to finish last night but oh, well. It's up now so you can read, yay!!!

I don't have to say much since my other AN was longer and explained everything (including the warning about the hit/review count).

Thanks again to all the loyal readers out there and to my dog, Apollo, for being absolutely adorable.

-Don =)

Kirk slipped out of the small building that served as the home for the three bounty hunters. His instincts had told him that he might be making a mistake but he didn't want to listen to them at the moment. From experience, Kirk knew his instincts often lead to situations where he had to do something he didn't want to. Like his instinctive impulse to respond to Luke Skywalker's summons to help find his missing nephew a little over a year ago.

Now Luke's nephew was missing again, but this time Kirk wasn't going to go find him, even if Luke asked Kirk to. He'd had his share of failures over time but the one surrounding Anakin was more painful than anything Kirk had ever experienced in his entire life. It was mainly because he'd found Anakin only to see the young teen die. Or so Kirk had thought for the eight months or so that Anakin had been missing once again or at least as far as the force was concerned, Anakin had been missing.

No, Kirk was finished with that life. He'd run away from the hospital with every intention of cutting himself loose from the chain that had reattached itself to his neck. Kirk glanced around and felt out the area with the force before running down the alleyway that Brookes had pointed out.

Kirk slowed only when he made it up to the small flight of stairs to the platform crowded with people and aliens rushing to their destinations. Well, Brookes had been right about not being noticed. Kirk was just another face in the crowds on Coruscant's first level. Kirk shifted the weight of the lightsaber strapped to his belt off his leg and closer to where his hand could reach it, then started towards the docking bay where he would use the credits he'd earned over time to buy a ship to get himself out of Coruscant permanently.

Kirk entered the docking bay, glancing around at the ships surrounding him, he saw the manager off to the side, chatting with one of the mechanics.

"I'm telling you, I can't fix it," The mechanic said, waving his clipboard in the face of the manager, who continued to scowl and shake his balding head.

"Look, if you can't fix it, this ship's useless to me," The manager grunted. Kirk smiled. Opportunities presented themselves in the oddest of forms, but Kirk was willing to take what he could get. He made his way over to the two bickering beings. The mechanic, an ill tempered rodian, was glaring at Kirk until the reptilian alien noticed Kirk's lightsaber.

"If I may," Kirk said, "I'll make you an offer."

The manager sighed, "I'll take anything." Kirk gestured to the ship.

"If I can fix this ship, will you sell it to me for a discounted price?" Kirk asked in a calm and neutral tone. The manager threw his hands up.

"If you can fix that thing," The manager pointed at the ship, "Then you can have the damn thing for free."

Kirk smiled. "That's a generous offer; sure you don't mind me taking that off your hands?"

The manager grunted, "If you can fix it, what makes you so sure that you can?"

"I have some experience, shall we say." Kirk said with a confident smile and then turned to the rodian who growled before holding out his toolkit.

"It'z not fixable," The rodian said and then walked away, flicking his tail back and forth.

Kirk rubbed his hands together. "Ready to see some amazing mechanics?" He gave the manager a cocky grin.

The manager shrugged. "You're wasting your time,"

We'll see about that, Kirk thought before getting to work on the ship. It was the exact design that Kirk had seen in old blueprints of Old Republic ships. He'd only seen some of them, but the design of the relic like patrol fighter. It was a SoroSuub Cutlass-9 fighter modified and designed especially for use by Jedi during the glory days of the Old Republic. Something like this would be a treasure for anyone using it. Kirk ran his hand along the long tip and then climbed up to get a more objective view of the cockpit.

Within minutes the twenty eight year old Jedi Master had located the source of the issue and was already making adjustments.

"Hard to fix, right?" Kirk turned to look down, expecting the manager again, but to his surprise he saw not an old man but a young woman in armor, a familiar helmet tucked under her arm.

"What are you doing here, Natie?" Kirk asked coolly, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

"Seeing you off, what else?" Natie replied with a raised eyebrow. "Come on, I've got to at least see if the job Brookes did fixing you up worked."

Kirk gave her a wry smile, "Do you think he'd botch it?"

Natie shrugged. "I wouldn't put it past my brother, but you never know."

Kirk returned his attention to the ship as he pulled out some of the wires and began to rearrange them so that the most vital ones were better connected with the control board. Then he made changes to the controls to accommodate his Jedi strengths, which were geared towards first instincts. He needed immediate reactions from his craft.

"Why do you want to leave now?" Natie asked, breaking Kirk's concentration once again. He grunted as he had to redo his job on the control panel and weapons.

"I told you that I don't like to stay in one place very long," He answered curtly as he continued to wire his soon to be new ship. He'd already fixed the drive, which had been the original problem that the rodian had failed to fix, so now he was just adding some new features of his own design.

"Yeah, I heard you before," Natie said with a frown, "But I'm not sure why."

Kirk finished his job and gave the stunned manager a wink as he tested the engines. The fighter roared with its newly restored life and then Kirk grunted. He'd have to find some goggles and a helmet somewhere else. He then felt something hit his knee and glanced down. A helmet and a pair of goggles were lying at his feet. Kirk lifted his head to see that Natie was watching him.

"You're going to need that," She said in explanation before averting her gaze.

"Thanks," Kirk said with a nod and picked up the helmet and put on the goggles before slipping on the silver helmet, which was angled a little like Natie's own helmet but it had only two markings on each side of the helmet: two blue flames in the form of a lightning bolt.

"What're you going to name the ship?" She questioned. Kirk thought for a moment.

"Blue Rain," He looked reflectively down at the ship. "I've always liked the rain."

Natie nodded with a faint smile, "It's a good name," She said quietly before shifting her helmet a little. "Well, I've got to go. Brookes wants to try to hit a depot on the far side of the city before the end of the day."

"Right," Kirk said with an inclination of his head, "Good luck and may the force be with you, Natie Renders." Kirk then closed the canopy of his ship and the ship began to move out and then shot into the skies.

Natie sighed as she fingered something in her hand before pocketing it.

"Let me through!" Leia commanded, and used the force to shove aside the stunned doctors. She strode quickly towards Jaina's room, which was crowded by the doctors.

"What happened?" Leia barked as she entered. The chief doctor turned around and then straightened when he saw Leia.

"Senator Organa Solo," The Mon-Calamari bowed respectfully. It wasn't quite the reaction Leia was expecting from the doctors since all she'd received were negative responses and uncooperative lectures and arguments. "Please follow me outside; I'll explain more in detail before I let you see your daughter."

Leia nodded. She was glad that the doctor was at least going to let her visit Jaina. Though the feeling she was receiving from the doctor wasn't good. Once outside the room and the door had been closed behind them, the chief doctor faced Leia.

"First of all, let me offer my condolences for your loss, Senator," He let out a pained sigh, "I much liked Jacen," The doctor nodded to Leia's surprised face, "Cilghal is my sister. She talked much about the Solo children and of you and your husband. I've seen the reports of the battles Jacen has fought in and I know how brave he was. It is a shame that such a person had to be killed." He bowed his head again to Leia, who recovered her composure.

"Thank you."

"It is no easy task to lose a child, Ma'am," He continued, "My wife and I," He began with a heavy tone, "Lost two of our children in the attack on Coruscant during the war."

Leia's insides grew heavier and she felt her heart go out to the doctor. "I wish we knew that there was a threat to the innocents." Leia said, "We could have helped you."

He shook his head. "Your family has given enough for the galaxy as it is. There would be no point in risking it any further." He sucked in his breath before continuing, "Besides, you did not know about every single casualty. There was no way to save everyone. My children died because a coral skipper crashed into our home." He shook his head,

"Doctor-" Leia began. He held up his hand.

"Please, call me Ly'ghal," The chief replied with a smile. "You are among friends here, Senator Organa Solo." He then straightened, "Your daughter removed her IV."

Leia tensed, "What would she do that for?"

The Ly'ghal looked uncomfortable, "She tried to use the needle to kill herself."

Leia shook her head, "That's not possible," She continued to shake her head despite Ly'ghal's clearly truthful feel through the force; "Jaina wouldn't do that."

Ly'ghal placed a hand on Leia's shoulder. "Death makes people do things they normally wouldn't."

"But-" Leia protested and Ly'ghal steered her over to the seats lining the wall. He sat down next to her.

"Jaina will be fine," He assured Leia, "She is a strong person. I may not be her mother, but that much I am sure of." He paused before standing, "We were worried when her monitor went flat," He sighed, "She had almost gotten the needle completely into her wrists."

Leia turned pale. So that's why there was so much commotion? Why hadn't I felt it coming?

"We'll be keeping an eye on her, but you are welcome to stay as long as you like," The chief doctor then waited as Leia rose shakily to her feet and followed him into the room. Jaina was lying on the bed, bandages covering her wrists. Two assistants stood off to the side, watching Jaina as she stared intently at the blankets. Ly'ghal gestured for the assistants to leave.

"We'll be outside if you require anything," Ly'ghal said and then shut the door behind him, leaving Leia to experience the cold and emotionless silence that followed.

Without a warning Jaina spoke, "Go ahead and ask me why I wanted to do it." Her tone was so empty and listless that didn't even sound like Jaina at all.

"I won't, Jaina," Leia answered gently but firmly, "Because it's my fault for not realizing how much Zekk and Jacen's deaths affected you."

Jaina gave Leia a look of grief and confusion. They were wide and lost like a young child who'd had a nightmare that she or he didn't understand. Jaina felt helpless, lost, and alone. It was feeling she wasn't used to. "I don't know what to do," Jaina said, her voice cracking, "I'm supposed to be the strong one, why can't I be that way now?"

"Jaina," Leia said, reaching over and placing her hand over her daughter's, "Nobody expects you to recover right away or to move on. Jacen was…" She swallowed, "Jacen was a large part of all our lives. He was your twin, as much a part of you as your own heart," Leia sighed, "I know Luke and I don't have what you two did, but I understand the pain. It doesn't fade."

Jaina nodded wordlessly and then her hands shook violently as the tears came down her cheeks. "I can't stop hurting all the time. Something won't let me stop crying. It's pathetic." Jaina said bitterly.

"Sweetie," Leia said, her eyes locking with Jaina's, "If you could stop crying after a month that would be inhuman."

"What if I don't want to just be human? I'm a Jedi. Jedi aren't supposed to cry." Jaina argued fiercely."

"That's not true," Leia answered, "Anakin cries, Jacen cried, and even your uncle cried at many different points in his life." Leia shook her head, "You shouldn't be ashamed of being human sometimes," Leia paused and gave Jaina's hand a squeeze, "Especially when it's one of the reasons why the people around you love you."

Jaina tried to choke back her sobs but they came through anyway and tears spilled on the sheets. The door opened and Jaina's tear stained face looked up as Anakin entered.

"Anakin," Leia said in surprise. "I thought you weren't coming back."

"I felt Jaina's hurt through the force, so I had to come back," He said, giving his sister a warm smile, "At least for a while."

"Where's Tahiri?" Leia asked. Anakin jerked his head towards the hallway.

"She's outside," He answered, "The doctor said there were already too many people in the room as it is." Anakin walked over to where Jaina was and Leia got up.

"I'll be back again later, Jaina," She said and left her two children to talk. Anakin took a seat next to Jaina's bed and clasped his hands between his legs.

Jaina gave Anakin a hard stare before speaking, "You know, don't you," She said, the tense pain rising in her voice, "Who killed Jacen."

Anakin hesitated and Jaina scowled at him. "Anakin, I know you know who killed Jacen. Tell me."

"It's not for us to take revenge, Jaina," Anakin said quietly. Jaina gritted her teeth and kept her voice deathly low.

"Don't tell me what to do, Anakin," She said icily, "You know who killed Jacen. He could kill someone else."

Anakin gave Jaina a caring and soothing look, "Exactly." He stood up and gave Jaina a hug.

"I know who it is, but I don't know what he's capable of, Jay," He said gently as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Until I know, you need to focus on healing."

Jaina frowned, though more out of concern for the planning in the back of his mind that was hidden by his tone. "What are you going to do?" Jaina asked, almost wishing that she didn't have to.

"I'm finding out who this guy is," Anakin replied seriously, "Someone needs to get the information and since he's already got me on his radar, I can track him."

Jaina's scowl deepened, "He attacked you?"

Anakin paused but then decided on telling the truth, "Yes, but no one got hurt."

Jaina stared at Anakin incredulously, "No one got hurt? That might be true now but what about if he tries again!" She growled. "You're running into the same trap Jacen did." Jaina's voice softened with the clear fear she felt at her core, "Anakin, you need to stop this. I mean now, before it gets someone else killed."

"I won't let anyone else handle it," Anakin replied, placing a reassuring hand on his sister's shoulder, "This is what the force wants me to do, so I have to trust it."

Jaina shook her head, "Anakin, that kind of idealistic thinking will get you killed." She gave him a pleading look, something that Anakin hadn't ever seen Jaina use before. Not even when she was little did she plead with their parents. She swallowed, trying to find the words to say what she was clearly feeling. "I don't want to lose you too, Anakin."

He placed a hand on Jaina's head and kissed her forehead, "Tahiri won't let that happen," He almost laughed at that, "And nor will I."

Jaina bit her lip, "I don't know…"

Anakin placed his hand over hers and sent his confidence through the force, "Trust me, okay? I'm not going to die."

"Anakin, you don't know that," Jaina protested, "Anything could happen. Someone could shoot down your ship and no one would ever see you again." Jaina's voice finally broke and she couldn't say anymore. Anakin gave her a Solo grin that reminded Jaina briefly of the kind of care-free grins that Jacen used to display on a regular basis.

"Not going to happen," A voice said from the doorway. Tahiri stood there, her arms folded across her chest and her green eyes flaring. "Not under my watch."

Anakin threw his sister a shrug and a knowing look, "I wouldn't question her, if I were you."

Jaina felt a smile creep onto her lips at that. Anakin had the most stubborn and overprotective girlfriend that Jaina had ever seen. Even Tenel Ka wasn't that attached to Jacen, at least not for a long time. But Tahiri had been stuck to Anakin like glue since day one.

"I'm trusting you to take care of my idiot brother, Tahiri," Jaina said with a significant look at Tahiri, who gave Anakin a small glare.

"Hey!" Anakin said indignantly.

"Don't worry, Dummy here isn't doing anything without my say-so," Tahiri said to Jaina and then grabbed Anakin's arm. "Come on, Anakin, we've got to go."

Anakin threw Jaina a glare before being dragged unceremoniously from the room. Leia came in, looking after her son with a questioning look and then turned to Jaina. "Did I miss something?"

"Only the usual," Jaina replied with a grin. "Anakin losing another battle against Tahiri."

Leia laughed for what seemed like the first time in days. "He's been head over heels for her since day one."

"My thoughts exactly," Jaina said, smirking. "He can't find it in himself to say no to her."

Leia shook her head, "I never thought anyone could do that." She grinned at Jaina, "What would we do without her?"

"I don't know, lock Anakin in the Falcon?" Jaina suggested. Leia looked mock-horrified.

"Han would have a fit," Leia pointed out. Jaina laughed.

"All the more reason to do it," Jaina smirked mischievously, "Dad needs some excitement in his life."

Leia sighed, "You're definitely his daughter alright."

Anakin entered the docking bay nearest to the hospital, where they had left James' ship, only to have Tahiri grab his arm as she remained still. Anakin stopped and turned around.

"Tahiri?" He questioned and then felt his surprise grow as Tahiri hugged him harder than she ever had in all the time Anakin had known her. He felt her unease. The conversation with Jaina must have worried Tahiri. He put his arms around her and rested his chin gently against her head. "I won't let go."

Tahiri nestled her head against his chest. "You better not." Anakin had to smile at that. She was back to her usual self.

"We'd better get back to the ship," He said after a few minutes. Tahiri bobbed her head and pulled away but Anakin grasped her hand before she could start walking. "I said I wasn't letting go." He said with a smile, which Tahiri returned. Then they walked up the ramp of the ship and as soon as they were inside, the ramp closed and the ship lifted up and out of the docking bay.

Kirk used the force to plot out his flight and then he took the hyper-jump into Chiss space. He had to talk to Soontir as soon as possible.

Hours later Kirk pulled out of hyperspace and was cleared to land. Soontir was waiting at the palace for Kirk. Once inside the Baron's private office, Kirk gave Soontir a serious frown.

"You found Cem I take it?" Soontir asked in a sobered tone.

"He wasn't willing to join," Kirk filled in, Soontir stiffened.

"You killed him then. Very well," Soontir said and turned away from Kirk to face the window. Kirk felt the chilliness of his body.

"Cem isn't dead, Soontir," Kirk said, the edge in his voice. "I did what should have been a fatal attack but after I left they must have gotten him treated in time." Soontir's back stiffened and the Chiss Baron's eyes narrowed to slits.

"I understand," Soontir said firmly, "You may go, Kirk. This is between Chiss now."

Kirk inclined his head and turned to leave and he froze when he saw the person standing in the doorway. His already tense expression grew grave.

Brookes checked his chrono for the fifth time that afternoon, "Where is she?" He questioned. "She said she'd be here as soon as she saw Kirk off."

Nokir gave Brookes a reassuring nod, "She will be here soon, Brookes," The Chiss lifted his head to stare up at the sky.

"I don't get it," Brookes said with obvious disapproval, "What is she doing?"

Nokir gave a rare smile, one that only he truly understood. "She must be distracted as usual."

"But she's never late for a mission," Brookes said and began to shift his gear. He glanced around the secluded alleyway: still there was nobody in sight. "That's it." He said after another ten minutes of silence. "I'm going to find her," Brookes started away from the alleyway and stormed off in the opposite direction. Nokir took one look behind him before following Brookes.

Kirk barely had enough time to shove Soontir aside before the person standing in the doorway pulled on the tab of his vest. The room flashed white and red.

A/N- I will update tomorrow night, until then, fare well, My Friends! =)