Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any direct quotes you see from the show in here, there are quite a few. I do own Alexis.
Chapter 26: Second Go
The three of them ended up spending most of the day on the couch watching TV. They were all rather exhausted. Both brothers got up to go to bed around nine already.
"You coming?" Sam asks her when he gets up.
"Not yet." Alexis says. He gives her a questioning look so she adds, "It's only nine. I'll be in soon, okay?"
"Fine. Don't stay up too late, you're supposed to be resting." Sam reminds her.
"I know. Night, Sam." she tells him.
"Night, Lex." Sam says and then walks into the bedroom.
She wasn't really planning on sleeping anytime soon. She was physically tired, but her mind was racing. Why do demons want me? They said their boss said not to kill me, is that Lilith? Why the hell would Lilith want me alive? And did Pamela die? What happened with the reapers? Her mind wouldn't shut up, so there was no way she was sleeping anytime soon. She switched the TV to One Tree Hill, a show she'd picked up when she was on bed rest after the roadhouse fire and actually ended up liking.
Still not able to sleep, Alexis remains watching TV until nearly midnight. That's when she gets up and goes out on the terrace to just think.
After twenty minutes, she hears the door slide open and turns to see Dean walk out.
"You know you're supposed to be resting." Dean says as he walks over.
"How could I forget with one of you always reminding me?" she responds, looking off the terrace.
"It's almost 12:30, you should be asleep." the older Winchester points out, some worry evident in his voice.
"Can't sleep." Alexis responds.
Dean opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off, saying, "With everything that has happened these past few days, I'm allowed to not be able to sleep."
"Fair enough. Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.
She looks at him oddly and says, "You know, for a guy who says 'no chick flick moments' you sure seem to have them a lot."
"Yeah, yeah, I blame you. But really, you can talk to me about it." Dean responds.
"I know, but maybe I shouldn't." she says.
A confused look crosses Dean's face as he asks, "Why not?"
"Just something Sam said." she responds. What Sam said still bothered her a bit, even though he said he didn't mean it and apologized profusely, she just couldn't let it go.
"What'd he say?" he questions.
"When we fought he may have accused me of liking you." she says.
"He what?" Dean asks, not sure he heard correctly.
"He didn't really mean it, but I guess he had a point. I've been talking to you more than I have him lately it seems. It's not that I like you, that would be gross, you're like my brother, but you've just been easier to talk to." she says.
Dean just shakes his head.
"What?" she asks.
"No wonder he was beating himself up so much. The kid may be a genius, but sometimes he's really really stupid." he says.
"Oh."
"Yeah. And you can still talk to me. Don't let him stop you. But maybe you should talk to him too." he suggests.
"Yeah, I know. It's just that things have been a little weird between us ever since the whole psych ward thing. I don't know what to do." she says.
"It freaked him out, Lex. Hell it freaked me out too, but he still loves you. You two will figure it out."
"I don't know Dean. I think uh- I think I am going to leave after all." she says finally.
Suddenly everything just clicked with her. She knew exactly what she was going to do, what she needed to do. It was going to hurt like hell, but she needed to do it.
"Lex…"
"It's what's best, Dean. You know it is too. I'll be okay." she insists.
"Sleep on it, okay? Maybe you'll feel differently in the morning." Dean says.
"Fine. Night, Dean." she says and walks back inside. She watches Dean go to bed and then ends up sleeping on the couch, knowing that sleeping next to Sam was just going to make what she had to do even harder than it already was going to be.
She wakes up the next morning when she hears the coffee pot go off. When she turns, she sees that Sam is awake, but it doesn't seem like Dean is yet.
"Why'd you sleep out here?" Sam asks her, pouring a cup of coffee.
"Sam, we need to talk." she says, mentally preparing herself for the conversation they were about to have.
At the tone in her voice, Sam looks up and immediately walks over to her, forgetting about the coffee.
He sits down next to her and asks, "What's up?"
"This isn't working, Sam. I think- I think we need a break." she says, trying not to burst into tears then and there. This needed to be done.
"Wha-what?" Sam asks, sounding hurt and confused.
"We haven't been us for a long time, Sam. I realized I've even been talking to Dean more than I have you. We need a break. I'm going to leave, hunt on my own for a while or maybe with Jo. Then in a few months we'll see." she explains, trying to fight off tears. This hurt her probably as much as it hurt Sam, if not more.
"You're breaking up with me." Sam states sadly.
She nods, not able to say the words herself.
"Is it because of the fight? I swear I didn't mean it, I just-" he begins, but she cuts him off by shaking her head.
"No, it's so much more than that. I love you, okay? Don't you ever think I don't. It's just that I don't know if love is enough right now. We need a break, time to figure things out on our own." she says.
"I love you too." he says.
"I know. This isn't goodbye, alright? It's just for now." Alexis tells him.
There were tears in his eyes and she could feel there were some in hers too.
"Be careful." Sam says, not sure what else he could say at the moment.
"You too. You'll tell Dean?" she says, standing up.
Sam nods and stands up too. "I wish you wouldn't do this." he says.
She stands on the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to his lips, "I know, I'm sorry. I just have to."
He nods sadly, not wanting her to leave but understanding exactly what she meant.
She grabs her bags from her room and then heads towards the door. "You two can stay here as long as you want. See ya, Sam." she says.
"See ya, Lex." Sam responds, looking near tears.
She walks out the door and a few tears fall. She may have just broken his heart, but she broke hers too.
She spent the next five months without so much as talking to Sam. She'd spoken to Dean once, the day she'd left but that was it. Really she hadn't spoken to or seen anyone but Jo, Ryan, and Jake. She did one hunt with Jo and a handful with Ryan and Jake, other than that she'd been completely on her own. It didn't seem to get easier being apart from the Winchesters either, but she knew it had to be done. It kept them safer and gave Alexis the chance to focus entirely on finding and killing the head demon that was after her, Lilith.
She had thrown herself into tracking her down and now she was extremely close. She even had an exact location and was heading there now. Once the bitch was dead, maybe she could go back to the Winchesters. Alexis had just pulled into the chapel in Maryland where Lilith was supposed to be. This is it. Lilith dies today, no matter what.
She walks into the chapel, ready to fight. Instead she finds it empty and once inside, someone hits her on the head from behind. Two pairs of arms wrap around her and she feels a knife on her waist, cutting through exactly where her anti-possession tattoo is. Then black smoke encircles her and goes in through her mouth. Fuck, she thinks to herself. Guess this is why Lilith wanted me. She wanted me as a fucking vessel.
"Nice to see you again, Alexis. This is going to be fun." the demon says aloud.
You bitch, she thinks to herself, knowing Lilith could hear her.
Sometime later, all the demons in the hallway fall and Sam and Ruby walk in. She could instantly tell Sam had gone back to demon blood and had been consuming much more than he had been the first time. This is bad, this is so so bad.
"Lex?" Sam asks, looking entirely surprised.
"Guess again." Lilith says.
"Lilith." Sam says, pure venom in his words.
"Nice to see you too Sam." Lilith responds.
"Get out of her. Now." he demands.
Ruby was standing back, looking not so surprised, like she knew this would happen. It was then that everything clicked in Alexis' head. Ruby wanted this all along, so did Lilith. Lilith wants to die because it's what will release Lucifer. The angels want it too. Lucifer was going to walk and it was going to be because of Sam. There was nothing she could do about it.
"You know, your girlfriend here is a smart one. I like her." Lilith says, telling Alexis she was right.
"Get. Out." Sam says even louder.
"What? Not going to try and kill me because I'm in her? I thought you were stronger than that. She seems to be." Lilith says.
That's when Alexis finally gains control.
"Sam." she says.
"Lex?" he asks.
"It's me. You have to do it, Sam. Kill her, now. Please." Alexis pleads, knowing it was the only way.
"But Lex…" he trails off.
"Sam, you have to. Just do it." she insists.
He brings his hand up and Alexis feels herself fly backwards and hit her head hard. That's when she spots Dean out of the corner of her eye, but Ruby looks back and shuts the door on him. Sam has her, well Lilith too, pinned down. He was definitely much stronger. He begins and Alexis feels like her insides are being torn apart, there was no way she was surviving this.
Sam stops abruptly and Dean's screams of "Sam!" can be heard through the door. Ruby is shouting at Sam to finish and Lilith begins laughing.
"You turned yourself into a freak, a monster, and now you're not going to bite. I'm sorry but that is honestly adorable." Lilith says.
Sam continues and his eyes flash black, demon black.
Fuck.
Sam kills Lilith and then everything goes black.
"Lex!" Sam shouts, but before he gets close enough to her he sees blood moving in an odd pattern.
"What the hell?" he says aloud.
Ruby explains that he just released Lucifer. He just released the damn devil himself. Pure anger runs through his veins and Sam is seeing red. Lilith was the last seal. He tries to kill Ruby but finds he can't.
"It had to be you, Sammy, it always had to be you." is really all he hears of Ruby's speech after that.
He couldn't focus on anything. He'd just set the devil free and he'd just more than likely killed Alexis. He was alone and just wanted to die. That's when Dean bursts in and heads straight for Ruby.
"You're too late." Ruby says, standing up to face him.
"I don't care." he responds.
Sam grabs Ruby's shoulders and Dean plunges the knife into her stomach, killing her instantly.
Dean looks him in the eye with a look Sam would never forget. All he can say is, "I'm sorry."
Dean looks beside him and spots Alexis for the first time. "Is that- is that Lex?" Dean asks, caught off guard.
Neither of them had expected to see Alexis there after five months without a single word from her.
The ground begins to shake and Dean runs to grab her. Once he does, the brothers run for the door.
They can't seem to get out and a blinding light emits from the center of the room. Suddenly all three of them are on a plane.
"What the hell?" Dean says.
"I don't know." Sam says.
"Is she okay?" an attendant asks, pointing to Alexis, who was in Dean's lap.
"Yeah, she just took one too many sleeping pills, she's a nervous flyer." Dean says, pulling something out of thin air.
The attendant nods and continues on.
"Dean?" Sam asks, conveying everything in one word.
Dean brings two fingers to Alexis' neck and looks at Sam with a heartbroken look.
No. NO. She can't be dead, Sam thinks to himself. She can't be.
Dean shakes his head and a tear falls from his eye. She was dead and it was all Sam's fault. If he'd listened to her, not gone back on the demon blood, she'd be okay because he couldn't have killed Lilith, at least not alone he couldn't have. Tears were falling down both brothers' cheeks when an announcement was made saying they were just passing over the city they'd just been in. That's when the same blinding light appears and the plane begins to fall.
Sam doesn't really remember much, but they manage to get to a car. As soon as they do, Dean lays Alexis down in the back and the two brothers sit in front in a solemn silence. After an hour of silence, they hear a gasp in the back and watch in the rear view mirror as Alexis sits up.
"Lex?" both of them question.
"What the hell just happened?" she asks as she looks around, clearly confused.
"We're uh, we're not really sure." Dean says, pulling over.
When he does, he gets out and opens the door nearest to Alexis. "Get out." Dean says.
"What?" she asks.
Sam was lost, what was Dean doing?
"You just died, Lex. Get out and let me see if you're okay." Dean says.
She nods and slides out the door.
Sam gets out as well and walks over to where they were standing, underneath a streetlight. Dean checks her pulse and then moves to check the spot on her head that had been hit really hard.
"It's gone." Dean states.
"What's gone?" she asks, trying to move out from underneath his grip.
"There was a dent in your head, literally. It's gone." Dean says.
"Oh." is all she says back.
Dean then pulls her into a hug saying, "Never leave like that again."
"I'm sorry." she responds, hugging him back.
Dean pulls back and tells her, "Five months Lex, five months and not one word from you. We had to call Jo just to make sure you were alive and that demons hadn't gotten you. We tried Bobby and Ellen but neither of them had even heard from you either."
I guess I didn't really notice exactly how worried Dean was about her too, Sam thinks.
"I'm sorry." she repeats.
"Just never again, okay?" Dean says.
She nods and then Dean looks between Sam and Alexis and gets in the car, leaving them to talk.
"Lex, I'm sorry." Sam begins. He wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't seen her or even spoken to her in five months, she looked different, not exactly in a good way. She looked smaller and more tired. Like she hadn't been eating or sleeping well at all since the last time he'd seen her. And then when he does see finally her, he has to kill her.
"Sam, it's not your fault. You had to. We were all set up. Ruby had this plan all along, so did Lilith, the angels too. You couldn't have known, Sam. None of us could have." she says, moving closer to him.
"But I- I killed you." Sam says.
"It's okay. I told you to, you had to. Lilith would've killed me if you hadn't. That's why she wanted me, Sam. All along, that's why demons all wanted me. So she could do what she did. But the important thing is, we're all okay. Somehow, by what I think was actually an act of God, we're all alive. We may have just released the devil, but what comes out can go back in, right? Or be killed?" Alexis says, trying to calm him down.
Oddly enough, it was working. How can she still do that? After five months, all it takes is a few words from her to make me feel better.
"I guess." he says.
"Look Sam, I don't know what's happened with you and Dean for the past five months, but I think it's been a long enough break. My plan was kinda to kill Lilith and then come find you guys anyway, so if uh, you haven't moved on, do you think we could um, try again? I know I hurt you, so I get it if you don't want to." she says, averting her eyes.
"You want to?" he asks, somewhat surprised. She was the one who broke up with him after all.
She nods, still looking at the ground.
"Lex, I could never move on from you. You leaving destroyed me, it did. What I did because of that, I'm not proud of. You make me a better person. I know that may sound stupid or cliché, but you do, Lex. I love you, so much, and I always will. I just wasn't sure you still loved me. You didn't even call." he says.
She'd finally looked up at him at the last part. "Of course I still love you. And I know, I'm sorry. Me leaving kinda destroyed me too. I didn't sleep for a week and a half. I just hunted and tracked down Lilith. I guess I really just stopped living and went after Lilith, who was ultimately the reason I left. She wanted me, I didn't know why, and until I killed her, I couldn't let myself come back and I couldn't bring myself to call either of you, I'm sorry. I never ever wanted to hurt you like that, Sam. Ever." she insists, bringing her hand to his cheek.
He leans into her touch and brings his hand to hers. "I know. Well, Lilith is dead now."
"She is." she responds.
"If we do this again, I need you to promise me something." he tells her.
"What?" Alexis asks.
"I need you to talk to me, about everything. If you feel like you need to leave for some reason, you need to talk to me about it. And I mean actually talk, not just tell me once you've already made up your mind. I don't think I can survive you leaving me like that again." he says. Part of him hated that she had that much power over him, but he had a feeling he had the same amount over her.
"I promise. But you have to talk to me too, okay? Those last two months our communication kind of stopped, and that's part of what got me to decide to leave." she explains.
"I promise, too." Sam says.
Alexis nods and Sam leans down and kisses her. She stands up on the tips of her toes and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him as close to her as possible. When he pulls away she leans into him, resting her head on his chest. He wraps his arms around her, picking up on the fact that she did feel smaller. She definitely hadn't been taking care of herself.
"God I missed you." Alexis states.
"You have no idea." Sam responds.
The two stand like that for a minute before getting back in the car.
Once they do, Dean says, "Alright, I know we have a lot of shit to talk about but Lex, you look like you haven't really slept in a long time. We have a decent drive ahead of us, you should get some sleep."
"But-" she begins but Sam cuts her off, "Dean's right Lex, I mean when's the last time you got more than six hours of sleep?"
"Uh, I dunno." she responds.
They both give her a look, waiting for her to say more.
"Maybe two months ago?" she says, genuinely not sure.
"Get some sleep then." Dean says.
"Fine. I'll try, but I have no pillow or even a jacket to use." Alexis says.
Sam gets out and slides in next to her. "Sleep." he says.
She looks at him hesitantly but then lays down, resting her head in his lap. Things were definitely going to take some time to get back to normal.
Once Alexis is asleep, the two brothers sit in silence for about two hours until Dean turns the radio on. Unfortunately, all that comes up is stories about apocalypse related things, so Dean turns it back off.
"Dean, look-" Sam begins, not really sure what to say.
"Don't say anything." Dean responds, cutting him off. "It's okay. We just gotta keep our heads down and hash this out, alright?"
"Yeah, okay." Sam replies.
"Alright well first things first, how did we end up on that plane and how did Alexis just come back to life? I mean how was she even there? What happened?" Dean asks.
"Angels maybe? Lex said maybe act of God? Who knows. And I don't know how she got there, but when I got there, Lilith was in her- crap." Sam says, just now thinking of something.
"What?" Dean asks, glancing back at them.
"Lilith was in her, Dean. She has an anti-possession tattoo." Sam says.
"Oh. Crap." Dean says, now also realizing what Sam was.
He glances down at the sleeping girl in his lap and gently lifts up her shirt enough so that he could see where the tattoo was. It had been sliced through with what looked like a knife. There were also three scars on her hip that looked almost perfect, like they'd been put there on purpose. He definitely had to ask her about those. He wasn't 100% sure she wouldn't hurt herself, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.
"It was cut through." Sam states.
"Ouch." Dean responds. "Well, anyway, what happened in there Sammy?" his older brother adds after a moment.
"Well Lilith was in her. I didn't want to do it but Lex got control and told me to, she said I had to. And really I guess I did, there was no way Lilith was going to let me not kill her. She'd kill Lex, you, anyone just to be sure I'd kill her and set Lucifer free." Sam says.
"Oh. Well, next thing, we need to find Cas. So to Chuck's." Dean states.
That's when Lex sits up and asks, "Who's Chuck?" When she sees the looks on both brothers' faces she adds, "Don't try to make me go back to sleep. Now who's Chuck?"
Dean reluctantly explains most of how they knew Chuck and who he was.
Once he's finished, Alexis just gapes at them both. "So he's a prophet who writes books about you two? Am I in them?" she says.
"In great detail." Dean says, shuddering slightly. "I mean really, I did not need to read about you two you know, doing it."
"Dean!" Sam exclaims.
"Seriously?!" Alexis says.
"Afraid so." Sam responds.
"I'm not liking this Chuck guy so far. Does he see/write about me when I'm not with you two?" she asks.
"He wouldn't really say. It was a little weird actually, we asked if he knew where you were or if you were okay but he wouldn't say a word. So you'd have to ask him." Dean says.
"Oh I will." she replies.
"Well, we'll be there in a couple hours." Dean says.
They spend the rest of the ride talking about the past few months. They told Alexis about Adam, their half-brother, everything with the demon blood, Cas and Jimmy, really not leaving out much.
"So what'd you do for five months, Lex?" Dean asks once they finish.
"Um, not much really. Just hunted and tracked Lilith." she responds.
"Nothing else?" his brother asks.
"Not really." she says.
She sounded like she was hiding something, but now was not the time to push her on it. Sam made a note to ask her later on though, when things had settled down a bit.
"Alright, well we're almost there."
They show up at Chuck's house and find it completely destroyed. Chuck attacks, hitting Sam with a plunger. There wasn't much to the guy really. He was pretty tiny.
"Geeze, ow." Sam says, stumbling backwards.
"Sam, Dean." Chuck says and when he spots Alexis his eyes widen. "You- you're Alexis." the prophet says.
"That's me." she responds.
"So you two, you're okay?" Chuck asks, looking between Alexis and Sam.
"Well my head hurts." Sam says.
"No I mean my last vision, you went like full on Vader and killed Lilith, also killing Alexis. Your body temperature was 150, your heart rate was 200. Your eyes were black." Chuck says.
"Your eyes went black?" Dean questions.
Sam looks to Alexis, not sure what to say. "They did." she responds sadly.
"Where's Cas?" Dean asks next.
"He's dead, or gone. The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry. He like exploded." the prophet explains.
Sam points out something in Chuck's hair, which is actually a tooth.
"Oh crap." Chuck says.
"What?" Dean asks.
"I can feel them."
That's when a voice comes from directly behind Alexis.
"Thought we'd find you here. Oh Alexis too, nice to see you again." the voice says.
She whirls around and is face to face with Zachariah, possibly the only angel she hated more than Uriel.
She steps backwards, running right into Sam, who puts a hand on her shoulder and keeps her close to him.
"Play time's over, Dean. Time to come with us." the angel says.
"You keep your distance, asshat." Dean tells him when he moves forward.
Zachariah and Dean argue for a few minutes before Zac says something about striking before Lucifer finds his vessel.
"His vessel? Lucifer needs a meat suit?" Sam questions.
"He is an angel. And when he touches down we're talking four horsemen, red oceans, fiery skies, the greatest hits. You can stop him, Dean, but you need our help." the angel says.
"You listen to me, you two faced douche, after what you did, I don't want jack squat from you." Dean says.
The two argue a bit more until Dean banishes them using a sigil he'd drawn in blood.
"Learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch." Dean says once they're gone.
"This sucks ass." Chuck says.
When they decide to leave, Alexis asks to speak with Chuck for a minute. Both brothers leave, saying they'd wait in the car.
"It's really great to actually meet you, Alexis." Chuck says.
"Call me Lex, please." she says. "I wasn't supposed to come back, was I?"
"From what I saw, you were dead. I have no idea why or how you're here right now." the prophet explains.
"Great. The boys said you write about their lives in books, how much do you know about me? Have you seen things that don't involve them?" she asks, wanting to know what exactly he knew about her, specifically what he knew that the boys did not.
"Some, mostly things that are important to well, your character, like Kyle, Matt, your dad, and Zac. You should tell them you saw Kyle again, Alexis. You could be in danger." Chuck says.
Alexis' eyes widen slightly, "They don't need to know about that."
"It landed you in the hospital, Alexis. They do need to know. What I saw in Kyle's eyes tells me he'll find you again, and you may not be so lucky this time." the prophet explains, truly sounding like he cared.
"You didn't- you wouldn't write about that, would you?" she asks, somewhat fearing his answer.
"No. All I wrote about Kyle is what you told Sam. Nothing else, and I won't as long as you tell them." Chuck says.
Alexis could feel herself shaking slightly so she just nods and walks out.
"Everything okay?" Sam asks when he sees Alexis walk out.
"Yeah, uh, let's just get going." she responds.
"What happened?" Dean asks.
"Nothing." Alexis replies.
"Doesn't look like nothing." Dean insists.
"He just brought up a bad memory, okay? Nothing else. Let's go." she says, getting in the car.
"I uh, forgot to ask Chuck something, I'll be right back." Dean announces and walks back inside.
Sam gets in the car and both of them wait for Dean.
"This is weird, right? It's not just me?" Alexis says.
"No, it's not just you. This is weird. All of this. You've been gone five months, I just set Lucifer free, and now the angels are on our asses." Sam responds.
"Well, we'll figure it out, right?" she says, sounding unsure of herself.
"Yeah. Alright I wasn't going to say anything, because we're kinda in a weird place right now, but what happened to you, Lex? You're different, there's something you're hiding. I just can't figure out what it is." he says.
Before she could figure out what to say, Dean comes storming out of the house, looking pissed. Chuck must have told him, dammit.
"Why the hell didn't you call us?" Dean demands as soon as he's in the car.
"What?" she asks, pretending not to know what he meant. She didn't want to get into this, not now, or really ever.
"Don't give me that. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Dean booms, vividly angry.
She knew it wasn't that he was angry at her, it was that he was angry at Kyle.
"Well I don't." Sam states, entirely confused.
"She saw Kyle again." Dean says through a clenched jaw.
Anger flashes across Sam's face as he asks, "What?"
"I was in Michigan for a hunt two months ago and may have ran into him. I'm fine, it's nothing." she says, trying to brush it off. She did not want to talk about Kyle. Not now, not later, not ever.
"It's not nothing if it landed you in the hospital." Dean says, venom in his words.
"Hospital? Why wouldn't you call us?" Sam asks, both hurt and angry.
"I couldn't, I just couldn't. Can we please not talk about this now? Please?" she asks, giving them her best puppy dog face.
"Fine, but you're explaining more later." Dean insists, turning back and starting the car.
The car ride to the motel they end up stopping at it is completely silent. When they get there, Sam goes out, leaving Alexis alone with Dean really for the first time in months.
"What happened, Lex?" Dean asks.
"What do you mean?" she responds.
"Everything. The last time I saw you you said you were thinking about leaving but you told me you'd sleep on it, and then when I wake up you're gone and Sam, well he just looked broken. Now five months later, five months in which you didn't call once, you show up and get possessed by Lilith. You look like you haven't taken care of yourself much whatsoever, and now Chuck says you saw Kyle and you could be in danger. So what happened?" Dean asks, sitting down across from her.
"I needed to leave, Dean. And Sam and I, we needed a break. It killed me just as much as it did him if not more. I needed to end this thing with Lilith, she was the one who wanted me and made me feel like I needed to leave anyway. So I figured if I could kill her, I could come back. But when I finally found her, she got the jump on me and well you know the rest from there. As for Kyle, I can't talk about that right now, Dean. I just can't, please don't keep asking me. And I guess you're right, I really haven't taken care of myself. I was completely alone, mostly thanks to me anyway, and I just don't care enough about myself to put me above everything or else. I slept occasionally, ate what I could at random times, I was in the hospital for about a week after Kyle, so I lost weight there too and I guess it just snowballed after that. But Lilith is dead now and we have much more important things to focus on than me." Alexis explains.
"You are important, and it's important to both Sammy and I that you're okay. You should have called us, and you need to start taking better care of yourself." Dean says, looking at her with concerned eyes.
"I know, I know. I guess when I get so focused on something, everything else takes a back burner, including myself. I usually don't even realize it unless someone points it out to me." she continues.
"Well Lilith is dead so that doesn't need your focus anymore. You're back with us for good, right?" Dean questions.
When she doesn't respond, he says, "Lex?"
"I can't promise that." she tells him sadly.
"You leaving destroyed Sam. I've never seen him like that, not even after Jessica died. You can't do that to him again, Lex. Don't pull him back in if you think you're just going to leave again." he says.
"I don't want to leave, Dean. I'd stay with you two forever if I could, but I just don't know what's going to happen so I can't promise I won't leave. I try not to make promises that I'm not sure I can keep." Alexis says.
"Fair enough."
.
A bit later Sam returns with hex bags for them all. Dean asks Sam about the demon blood and Sam says he's fine. Sam then tries to apologize but Dean won't listen. Alexis was kind of just sitting there, feeling even more awkward than she usually does when things like this happen with them. Dean then says to treat this whole thing like any other hunt.
Sometime later, there's a knock on the door. The three hunters look between one another and Sam goes to open the door as Dean loads a gun. Who is on the other side of the door is not what any of them were expecting. It was a blonde girl who seemed to be infatuated with Sam.
"Sam, is it really you?" she says. She brings a hand to his chest, "And you're so firm."
Alexis kind of found the whole thing funny, especially the look on Sam's face.
"Uh, do I know you?" Sam asks, clearly lost and rather caught of guard.
"No, but I know you. You're Sam Winchester, and you're... not what I pictured." she says, talking about Dean.
Then she turns to see Alexis and says, "And you're still around?" The girl looked both disgusted and irritated.
"And who the hell are you?" Alexis asks.
"I'm Becky." she says and then walks in. "I've read all about you guys. Anyway, Mr. Edlund told me where you were."
"Chuck?" Dean asks, standing up.
Becky explains that angels are watching Chuck so he sent her with a message for them. "He had a vision. The Michael sword is on Earth. The angels lost it." Becky says, like she was reciting lines from a play.
"The Michael sword?" both Dean and Alexis question.
"Becky, does he know where it is?" Sam asks.
"In a castle on a hill of forty-two dogs." she says.
Because that makes total sense, Alexis thinks to herself. This day could not get any weirder.
"Are you sure you got that right?" Sam questions.
"It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said. I memorized every word. For you." the blonde says, touching Sam again.
Sam looked so uncomfortable Alexis found it hard not to laugh.
"Uh Becky, uh, can you quit touching me?" Sam says only to have her respond, "No."
After she leaves, Dean laughs and Alexis asks, "Okay, why the hell did she look at me like I was the spawn of Satan? I mean what'd I ever do to her? Do the books make me look that bad?"
"No they don't. I'm guessing she was just jealous. She's Sammy's super fan and you happen to be Sam's girlfriend through like half of the books." Dean says.
"I think I need to read about these books." Alexis states and then pulls out her laptop.
"You might not want to do that." Sam cautions, knowing what he'd seen and what she'd find. Due to a predominantly female audience, Alexis wasn't a popular character.
She ignores him and pulls up a search for the books by Carver Edlund.
After reading for a few minutes she says, "What's shipping?"
"It means they want the two people to be together." Dean explains, sitting down next to her. Sam does the same on the other side and then they were all reading the website she was on.
"Seriously? There are people who want Dean and I together? Delexis? Gross." she says, sticking out her tongue.
"I know." Dean responds, looking equally grossed out.
She clicks the page created for her and scrolls down to the comments.
"You might not want to read those. Some are pretty harsh." Sam says.
She waves him off and keeps reading. After reading a few, one that basically said she was a useless character, she says, "Yeah, you're right. Anyways we've got better things to focus on."
They spend the next few hours doing what research they can while waiting for Bobby to arrive. Eventually there's a knock at the door and Bobby walks in.
Bobby hugs the boys and says, "It's good to see you boys in one piece."
Then he turns to Alexis and says, "And it's good to see you in general. Would it kill you to pick up a phone once in awhile?"
"Sorry, Bobby." she says and then hugs the older hunter.
"You weren't followed were you?" Dean asks.
"You mean by demons, angels, or Sam's new super fan?" Bobby asks.
Sam laughs and says, "You heard."
"I heard, Romeo." Bobby responds. "So, sword of Michael, huh?"
Bobby pulls out some books and tells them a bit about Michael, he says the sword can deal with Lucifer.
They decide to all start reading but Sam, being Sam, has to say something. He explains what happened, despite protests from Dean, and the reaction from Bobby actually surprised Alexis.
"You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant." Bobby begins.
"I'm sorry." Sam says.
"Oh yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kinda thing don't get forgiven, boy. If by some miracle we pull this off, I want you to lose my number. You understand me?" the older hunter says.
Sam looked like a kicked puppy and really all Alexis wanted to do was hug him and tell him it was okay.
Sam nods and says, "There's an old church nearby, maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there."
"Yeah, you do that." Bobby says.
Sam walks out and Alexis goes to follow him a minute later, giving Bobby a hard look on her way out.
"Sam, wait!" she shouts after him.
He turns to face her and says, "You don't have to follow me, Bobby's right."
"No, Bobby is not right. This isn't all on you Sam, it's not. You were set up, you couldn't have possibly known. None of us did." she says.
"I missed you." Sam says randomly.
"I know, I missed you too. Now what do you say we go find that church and do some reading?" Alexis says.
Sam nods and Alexis slides her hand in his. The two then walk hand in hand to the church.
After a couple hours of reading, Sam speaks up. "Lex?" he asks.
"Yeah?" she responds, looking up from her book.
"What happened with Kyle?" he asks.
"Sam…" she trails off.
"Please?" he pleads, giving her his famous puppy dog eyes.
She sighs and gets up from the pew behind him. Alexis then sits down next to him and begins to explain. "It was after a hunt in Michigan and I'd gone to a bar. He must have seen me because when I was leaving, he was waiting in my car. I didn't even see him until I'd gotten in. He told me he just wanted to talk to me. I said I didn't want to talk and he should get out. That's uh, that's when he pulled a knife, giving me no choice. So I drove to his house, which I still knew how to get to. It was stupid, I know that, but I couldn't figure out what to do. I was alone, I'd done the job alone, no one even knew I was in Michigan." Alexis starts.
Sam's face was a shade of red and his jaw was clenched, along with his fists.
"Well when we got into his place, he told me he was going to 'show me that I was his and no one else's.' Before I could move, he had me pinned to the wall, the knife at my neck. He outweighed me by a ton, Sam. He's only like an inch shorter than you and just as heavy. I was outmatched. He uh, got my shirt off and began tracing the knife in places. Even gave me three nice scars on my hip. When he set the knife down to try and get my pants off, I fought back. He wasn't expecting it because I hadn't before. That's when he got really mad. I've never seen him like that, never. Before I never thought he'd actually kill me, but this time- the look in his eye, it scared me. I actually feared for my life. He lunged for me, throwing me back into a mirror, which shattered around me and some pieces cut into me. He landed some punches, managed to dislocate my shoulder too, before I was able to pull the gun I had on me. I shot him, I think it only grazed his arm though, but it stunned him enough that I was able to get out. I ran as fast as I could and called 911." she says, pausing again.
Sam looked like he could actually burst from anger.
"I was in the hospital for a few days, they wouldn't let me leave alone until they were sure I was going to be okay. The police couldn't find Kyle. So who knows where he is. That's why Chuck said I could be in danger." Alexis finishes.
"Jesus, Lex. Why the hell wouldn't you have called one of us?" Sam says.
She could practically feel the anger radiating off of him. "I couldn't. I didn't want you to see me like that and I knew if I picked up a phone and called either you or Dean, you'd drop whatever you were doing and come get me. And I knew if you did that, you wouldn't let me leave and stay on my own. I still needed to be on my own, to find Lilith. So I didn't call." she says.
Sam pulls her into a hug and says, "You should have. I swear to God if I ever see this guy, he's dead."
"I know." she responds.
"These past five months have been awful for me, Lex. Not seeing you, not being able to talk to you. Not knowing if you were even alive at the end of the day. I never ever want that to happen again. I need you in my life, Alexis. I don't need much, but I do need you. I don't care how this makes me sound, but it's like you're a part of me. And when we're apart, I feel like something is missing. Please say you won't leave again, not without at least talking it through with me first." he says. Being apart he could handle, but having no communication whatsoever with her was hell.
"They've been torture for me too, Sam. I didn't realize how much I needed you until we were apart. I need you too, I do. And I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?" she says.
"Good." he tells her. "And Lex? What you said earlier about it being weird, it is, even between us right now, but we'll get back to normal, or a new normal, we just have to figure out what that's going to be."
"I know." she responds. "Well, we should probably head back."
"Maybe you should just go back." Sam says, reluctant to return after what Bobby had said to him.
"Come on Sam, Bobby was wrong, okay? And honestly, if he meant what he said, I'm going to lose his number too." she tells him.
Sam nods and then stands up. The two walk back out of the church and head back to the motel.
Just as the two approach the door, they hear fighting from inside.
"What the hell?" Alexis asks just as Sam busts the door open.
Sam's immediately hit with something and thrown back and Alexis is knocked backwards and down the stairs in the hallway, successfully knocking her out.
The next thing she knows, someone is shaking her and shouting her name, "Lex!"
She cracks her eyes open and sees a very worried and somewhat bloody Sam.
"I'm okay." she says, slowly sitting up.
It was then that she realized they were now in the Impala and not at the motel anymore. "Where are we?" she asks, looking around.
"Heading to find the sword." Dean says over his shoulder. He then asks, "How is she?"
"Bruised and probably a concussion, but she should be okay." Sam says.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Where's Bobby?" Alexis asks.
"Hospital. We're heading back right after we get the sword. He was possessed and managed to take control and stab himself with the demon knife." Dean explains.
"Oh." is all she says.
She then rests her head on Sam and closes her eyes, knowing she'd be woken up shortly anyways.
When they get there, Sam suggests she should stay in the car.
"You're kidding, right? Leaving me here alone could potentially be worse than me going up. I'm coming." she responds.
Sam shakes his head and the three grab weapons before heading into the storage unit where the sword supposedly was. Inside they find a few bodies, demons probably, and then they find Zachariah and two other angels. Why the hell does he keep popping up? Alexis thinks, really wanting to punch the angel in the face.
"I see you told the demons where the sword is." he says.
"Oh thank God the angels are here." Dean says, every word dripping with sarcasm.
"Just think, they could've grabbed it anytime they wanted." Zachariah says, shutting the door to the unit.
"It was right in front of them." the angel continues.
All three hunters were confused, what did he mean?
"What do you mean?" Sam asks.
"We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck's skull but it happened to be true, we did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now, you just hand delivered it to us." Zachariah says.
"We don't have anything." Dean says.
"It's you, chucklehead. You're the Michael sword." the angel explains, stepping closer to Dean.
What? How can Dean be the Michael sword?
At the look on their faces, Zach continues.
Damn does that man like the sound of his own voice, she thinks to herself, unable to restrain from rolling her eyes.
"What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. Not much of one."
I haven't killed an angel before, but hey there's a first for everything. If only I had my damn angel blade.
"What do you mean I'm the sword?" Dean asks.
Zac explains that Dean is basically Michael's vessel, that he's chosen.
Wait, if Dean is chosen as Michael's vessel, and Lucifer has one too, and Lucifer is Michael's brother, does that mean Sam could be Lucifer's vessel? She tries to shake the thought from her head, she couldn't think about that possibility right now.
"Life as an angel condom, real fun. I think I'll pass." Dean says.
"No more jokes." Zachariah says and then lifts his hand, making a gun with his fingers, and shoots at Sam, causing him to fall to the ground.
"Sam!" Alexis exclaims.
"You son of a bitch." Dean says.
"Keep mouthing off I'll break more than his legs. Hers too. Actually, you shouldn't even be here, Alexis. Maybe I'll just fix that." Zac snaps his fingers and she disappears.
Where the hell am I? she wonders as she looks around. Zachariah hadn't killed her, but he did zap her somewhere. Wherever it was, it was very green. And cold.
"Gabriel!" she shouts, not sure of what else to do.
A minute later there's a flutter of wings. "What the hell are you doing in Iceland?" the angel says.
"I'm in Iceland?!" she exclaims.
"Uh, yes." Gabe says.
"I swear to God I'm going to kill Zachariah." she says, voice riddled with anger. "Can you get me out of here? Take me to Bobby?"
"Zachariah did this to you? I always hated that guy. Are you okay?" the archangel asks.
"Actually, I have a concussion. But while you're here, I kind of got possessed by a demon the other day, meaning my anti-possession tattoo was cut through, could you fix that?" Alexis asks him nicely.
"Let me see it." Gabriel says.
She lifts up her shirt and the angel brings his hand to it, instantly healing it. Then he brings his hand to her forehead and heals her concussion.
"There, all better. Now you want me to take you to Bobby?" he asks.
"Yes please." she says.
"What do I get out of it?" Gabe asks.
"Um, my gratitude? A kiss on the cheek? A hug? Not that you really seem like a hugger." Alexis says.
"I'll take all of the above." he responds.
She smiles and moves closer to Gabe. She wraps her arms around him and then places a kiss on his cheek.
"Well, to Bobby then." Gabe says and zaps them to the hospital, just outside of Bobby's room.
"Thanks, Gabe." she says.
"No problem, but I take it you're not counting that as the favor I owe you?" the angel asks.
"Nope. I'm waiting for a life or death situation for that one." she says.
"In that case, I hope you don't cash in soon." he says and then zaps out.
Alexis turns back to the window of Bobby's room and finds him asleep, so she just walks in and curls up on a chair near his bed.
Some time later, Sam and Dean walk in.
"Lex! You're okay." Sam says, immediately walking over to her, relief all over his face.
"I'm okay. Are you two?" she asks as Sam hugs her.
"Yeah. How did you get here?" Dean asks.
"Well Zachariah kinda blasted me to Iceland, so I called Gabriel and he brought me back here. How did you two get out of there?" Alexis says.
"Castiel." Sam says.
"Cas? He's alive?" she asks.
"He is." Dean says.
Alexis breathes out a sigh of relief and then sits back down.
Later on, a doctor comes in and tells Bobby he's unlikely to walk again. That did not sit well with him.
Then Sam speaks up. "So let me ask the million dollar question, what do we do now?"
"Well, we save as many as we can for as long as we can I guess. It's bad. Whoever wins, Heaven or Hell, we're boned." Bobby says.
"What if we win?" Dean asks.
At the look Bobby gives him, the older Winchester continues, "I'm serious. Screw the angels and the demons and their crap apocalypse. Now they want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours and I say they get the hell off it. We take em' all on, we kill the devil, hell we even kill Michael if we have to, but we do it our own damn selves."
"And how are we supposed to do that?" Alexis asks.
"I got no idea. But what I do have is a GED and a give em' hell attitude and I'll figure it out." Dean says.
"You're nine kinds of crazy, boy." Bobby says.
Dean nods and says, "It's been said. Listen, you stay on the mend, we'll see you in a bit."
Dean walks out and Sam and Alexis were right behind him but Bobby stops them by saying, "Sam."
Both turn to look at him and Bobby continues. He says he was awake and knew what he said back there, but it was the demon, not him. Both brothers then walk out and Bobby stops Alexis this time.
"Lex?" he says.
She turns and says, "Yeah?"
"Are you okay?" the older hunter asks.
"Me? You're the one in a hospital bed." she says.
"You're the one who practically disappeared for five months, got possessed by Lilith, and then killed." Bobby replies.
"I'm fine, Bobby." Alexis says.
"You don't look fine." the older hunter tells her.
"Well I'm doing my best. I'm sorry I disappeared for that long though." she says.
"Just be careful, Alexis. And call your mother, would you? She worries about you a lot more than you'd know." Bobby says.
"Okay, I will. Get some rest, Bobby." she says and then walks out, jogging down the hallway to catch up with the boys.
As they're walking out, Sam says, "You know, I was thinking maybe we could go after the Colt."
"Why? What difference would that make?" Dean says.
"We could use it on Lucifer. I mean you just said back there-" Sam says but Dean cuts him off.
"I just said a bunch of crap for Bobby's benefit. I mean, I'll fight, I'll fight to the last man, but let's at least be honest. We don't stand a snowball's chance and you know that. I mean hell, you of all people know that."
Dean walks past them to get into the car but Sam stops him, saying, "Dean? Is there something you want to say to me?"
Dean pauses before saying, "I tried, Sammy. I mean I really tried, but I just can't keep pretending that everything's all right. Because it's not, and it's never going to be. You chose a demon over your own brother and look what happened. You killed Lex, Sam!"
She hated this, absolutely hated it. Having the two of them fight was awful.
"I would give anything, anything, to take it all back." Sam says.
"I know you would and I know how sorry you are, I do, but man, you were the one that I depended on the most and you let me down in ways that I can't even… I'm just, I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here, ya know?" Dean tells him.
"What can I do?" Sam asks.
"Honestly? Nothing. I just don't- I don't think that we can ever be what we were, ya know? I just don't think I can trust you." Dean finishes and then walks towards the car.
Alexis kind of just stood there feeling awkward. She knew Dean had a point but she also knew this whole thing wasn't Sam's fault. Honestly, it could be completely put on Dean simply because he broke the first seal, he made a demon deal in the first place. She decided she wouldn't say a word. Everything was different between all three of them now and she'd just been gone for five months. Guess we just have to figure out a new normal now, she thinks to herself as she trails behind Sam, heading to what was sure to be a car ride filled with tense silence.