A/N: Thank you so much to all of you who take the time to review. I really appreciate it. We hit the 20 mark but it wan't until about midnight last night. I tried like...heck...to get the chapter up then but I couldn't keep my eyes open. SO you get it this morning. I hope you enjoy it. See you at the bottom.

S. Meyer owns Twilight...

Chapter 26

Her Ugly Truth

I had done it.

I had laid everything I felt out on the table. Now I sat staring in to the eyes of my love knowing that whatever she said would affect our lives from here on out. I was more nervous than I had been in a long time. I was terrified beyond belief, but I knew that no matter what happened next I had finally been completely honest with her. I had no more secrets, no more built up emotions. Everything was out. It was equally liberating and crippling to find myself so exposed.

Men weren't supposed to talk about emotions or show weakness, but I had done both. Now I sat here on hallowed ground with the only woman I have ever loved. She currently, as she always has, held the key to my happiness.

She sat quietly in my lap not speaking.

"Bella…" I said trying to draw her attention.

"I know. "She breathed. I turned her head toward the sky and closed her eyes. She drew in a deep breath as though she was summoning all her strength.

She shifted slightly so that her head was resting securely on my shoulder. "Okay, I'm ready." She began.

"I want you to listen to me and listen closely Edward Cullen. The accident was not your fault." She said in a tone I rarely heard her use. Her body was stiff and she lifted her head, tugging my chin until our eyes were locked.

"It was not your fault. I was driving; if we are placing blame then it lies with me. I'm sorry if I let you believe otherwise. It was my fault." I ached to contradict her but knew I had to pay her the same respect she had shown me. She tucked her head under my chin and gripped my torso tightly.

"I did shut you out unfairly, and I have been paying for that mistake since I made it. I'm not entirely sure why I did it. Part of me thought you hated me for what happened. I felt so guilt. I feel so guilty." I felt her body shaking a little from tears.

"I don't think I ever put myself in your shoes. That was wrong, and I can't tell you how much I regret it." I felt a physical compulsion to let her know that it was okay but I fought against it. She deserved her chance to tell me how she felt without me arguing with her.

I felt her body stiffen noticeably as she continued expressing her thoughts. "When I saw you with Tanya the first time I was hurt. But I should have had more faith in you. I did realize after I ran out that I knew deep down there was nothing to worry about it. Unfortunately the truth came to me too late."

She drew in a ragged breath and continued. "But the second time I saw you with her. I was destroyed. I felt so fucking in adequate. It confirmed so many things I was feeling. I'm not sure how to explain what I felt. It was unbearable. I had come to finally talk to you, I needed you…and you were confiding in this woman. This woman wasn't me. She wasn't the mother of your child. She didn't know anything about what we had experienced and you chose to go to her instead of me. At least that's what I thought at the time. " Guilt flooded over me in waves at hearing her revelation.

"I think I took a lot of my anger out on you when I really felt it toward myself. I was angry at you for being with her like that, but I knew it was my fault." She said, her voice was dripping with regret and remorse.

I was even more ashamed then I had been. Why did I let things get so screwed up. Bella had came to my work twice and found me too close to another woman. A woman who couldn't hold a candle to my girl made her feel inadequate. I had allowed that to happen.

Bella didn't speak for a minute but she didn't move away from me either. I assumed she was gathering her thoughts and I let her.

"I'm not sure how to get over everything, how to move on, but I want to try. I'm going to need your help. I want us to work through this together. I don't have a clue what I'm doing but I know now that without you I can't even think of becoming me again." I nodded silently, because I felt the same way.

"This past year has been the hardest of my life. Losing her was hard enough but I made everything so much worse. If I could change things I would, but it's too late now. What's done is done. All I can do now is try to not make the same mistakes again. I won't push you away anymore. I want you back in our home whenever you're ready."

My heart wanted to fly from chest. She was willing to welcome me back in to her life. I wasn't naïve enough to believe we were in the clear completely, but damn if I didn't feel like we had finally won a huge battle.

It wasn't until I saw the questioning expression on her face that I realized she was waiting for a response. I hugged her fiercely and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm more than ready to be back home. I've been so miserable being away from my family. I'm never leaving again." I said simply.

"We still have a lot to work through, we're not done." She said in a sad yet decisive voice.

"I know." I whispered before pressing my lips to her forehead once more.

Bella's attention shifted from me to Hannah's grave stone. She squirmed out of my lap and sat back on her feet beside the polished rock.

"Why?" She whispered trailing her fingers slowly down the edges of the marker. I wasn't sure if she was wanting an answer or not.

I moved closer to her and placed my hand on top of hers. "I don't know." I told her honestly. I had always believed everything happened for a reason, but what could possibly be the reasoning behind losing a child. I don't see anything that could justify that.

We stayed at the cemetery for another hour we didn't talk about our marriage anymore that night. We grieved for the daughter we would never know and we found some comfort in being able to do that together.

Bella fell asleep as I drove her home. I headed to our home instead of my apartment that night. I didn't care that I had all my clothes there. I didn't care that Bella's car was still at my place. I didn't want to be apart from her tonight. We needed each other and we finally were on the same page in knowing that.

I pulled in to the driveway and noticed it was after one in the morning. I really hoped Alice was fine with staying this late. I went around and picked Bella up and headed toward the door. I could have easily woke her up let her walk, but my greed was strong tonight and I didn't want to miss a minute of contact with her.

I skillfully placed the key in the lock and let us in to our house. I carried my wife upstairs and placed her gently in to our bed. She squirmed a little but went right back to sleep. I went back downstairs and turned off the television that Ally must have fallen asleep watching. I covered her up with a throw blanket and sent Jazz a text letting him know I was just going to let her sleep, unless he wanted otherwise.

I was finally able to make my way to Ayden's room. The door squeaked a little as I pushed it open. I sat on the edge of the bed and felt the overwhelming pride I always do when I'm near him.

"Everything's going to be okay, little man. Daddy's home now, and I'm not leaving again." I promised before I kissed his forehead and left the room.

I went back to the place I had been missing for weeks now. I changed out of my clothes and sank into our bed. I was debating on whether or not Bella would want to be held tonight but she answered my unspoken question as I thought it. She scooted close to me so that her head was on my chest. She intertwined her legs with mine and I held on to her that night for dear life. She was my life.

Morning broke too soon and I hated that we would have to get out of bed and move on with our day. Clearly Bella didn't share my same hesitation she was bouncing in the kitchen making French toast as I came downstairs. I stood silently just watching her. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she was wearing pajamas she must have put on in the middle of the night. She was making funny faces at Ayden who was sitting in a chair looking up at her just as mesmerized as I was.

This was my life, my family, my home.

"Ayden, how long do you think Daddy is going to stare at us before he comes in?" She questioned in her 'kid friendly' voice.

"Busted" I mumbled.

She walked towards me and wrapped her arms around me spatula still in hand. I returned the gesture and placed a timid kiss on her lips.

"Thank you." She whispered into my chest. I wasn't sure what she was thanking me for so I just nodded. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down at the table to talk with my son. He talked my ear off for a good twenty minutes before breakfast was ready. We all ate together before we would have to go our separate ways.

"So you're coming home tonight right?" Bella asked not looking up from Ayden's shoes, that she was fighting to get on his feet.

"Of course. I just want to run to the apartment after work and pick up a few things to bring back over here. I figure next weekend we can start actually moving everything back. That is if this is all okay with you."

"Absolutely" she said staring up at me. "I want you back home as soon as possible." She answered truthfully but there was a hint of fear in her voice that only I would be able to notice.

I knelt down next to her and took her face in my hands.

"Everything will be worked out. We will be fine. I love you and this is going to work." I said in a caring but firm voice.

She nodded her head and I leaned in to take one more kiss from her before I left. I brushed my lips across hers gently and she responded softly.

Bella and Ayden followed me out and we all got in my car. We stopped by Rosalie and Emmett's house on the way to my apartment to drop off Ayden.

Rose smiled at me but her eyes were full of questions that I knew she would be trying to get out of Bella later.

The ride back to my apartment to get Bella's car was silent. I think we were both still processing everything that had been said last night. As I pulled up beside Bella's car she broke the silence.

"What time can you be by the house tonight?" She asked as she unbuckled her seat belt.

"I should be there around seven."

"Well I'm giving that group a try tonight and was hoping maybe you could stay with Ayden. It starts at seven thirty." She said sounding nervous. I wasn't sure if it was because of the meeting itself or because she was worried about my response.

"I'll be there." I said mustering up a smile.

"Great I'll see you at home." She said smiling beautifully. She was about to shut the car door when she suddenly climbed across the passenger seat and sat on the center console. Her lips met mine in an instant and she kissed me with every bit of passion she possessed.

I pulled her off the console and on to my lap. Our lips moved together in perfect synchronization. Our tongues battled for dominance as her fingers ran through my hair. We broke apart after a minute gasping for breath. I wasn't sure what came over her but I was far from complaining.

"I have to get to work." She grumbled wiping around her lips. She crawled back across my seats and got out of the car. We said a quick 'I love you' and headed on our separate destinations knowing we'd be together at the end of the day.

A/N: I know Bella's rant wasn't quite as long or detailed as Edwards's but she hasn't been getting the same professional help that he has. She's not in the same place. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think.

By the way sorry about any and all mistakes. I'm actually an English major. I just can't proof my own writing because I read it how it was 'supposed' to read. Strange, yeah I know.

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