I was waking up, noticing the consciousness slowly creeping into me, losing the dreams I didn't dream that night and dodging the nightmares for another time. I slept so deep that I was surprised I'd woken up by myself. Or not. Feeling a faint vibration from underneath my pillow, I opened my eyes, adjusting the morning light and picking my IPhone from underneath the softness. Charlie probably set an alarm. Smart – no wonder he was a cop.
I wanted to turn around, when a sharp sting in my belly made me jump out. Nausea overpowered me again as I ran to the bathroom.
I was getting so tired of this – the constant nausea, vomiting and the evil stings in my lower belly. That little bouillon Charlie had forced me to eat didn't even stay in my stomach. After my breathing changed back into its normal rhythm, I stood up and went back to my room. I grabbed a pair of jeans a shirt with a color, I didn't care what color and got dressed. In the bathroom, where still hung the smell of puke, I brushed my hair without doing anything with it. like I cared that the colors I wore didn't match, or that the ringlet curls bounced around my shoulders. Things didn't matter to me anymore.
I slowly, unwillingly went down the stairs, seeing Bella seated in the kitchen. He face lit up when she saw me but changed in a grimace, however, when she noticed my appearance.
'Good God, what happened to her? They shouldn't have left! Edward's just an asshole!'

"Hey Mells. How are you? Still nauseas?" she asked, a bit unsure of what my reaction might be. I shrugged as an answer, leaving the kitchen to retrieve my shoes and jacket. Once I'd gotten my keys, I left the house without greeting Bella any more. I silently, slowly drove to school without music filling my car. I didn't want that – I didn't listen to music anymore.

[ab]Arriving at school, I parked my small car as far away as possible from its usual spot. The giddy feeling I always had every morning upon seeing Edward, was absent and replaced by grief.
He could act like I didn't exist, I could act like he died.

I got out of my car, slung my bag over my shoulder and winced another time from the pain. Walking wasn't painless and I felt like walking like a penguin. I prayed no one would notice or guess what I had been doing two nights before. I trudged through the barely there rain, crossing the parking lot and ignoring the stares. Yes, everyone knew yesterday that the strange but beautiful Cullen family had left Forks. And since I was the one looking like I'd been knocked with a car, with all those bruises and cuts in my face, their snarky comments or pity was for me.
A sudden hand on my hurt shoulder, made me cry out a little. I turned around to face her, my eyes emotionless.

"Melody…." Bella sighed, removing her hand from my shoulder. I didn't reply.
"Oh, Melody come on! I know you are having a hard time dealing, me too, but why won't you talk to me? it's not like I've done anything wrong."

You did everything wrong. that's the point.

Bella kept staring at me, expecting a reaction but she wasn't getting one. I didn't want to talk because if I'd do, they'd ask me about how I felt. And feeling was something I'd lost control of.
I shook my head, felt the tears pricking and let her stand in the rain.

Classes were dreadful. The hours felt like decades and history was terrible without the fun stories of Jasper. Biology was to cry about when Alice wasn't next to me making fun about everyone's clothes. English was disastrous without Edward at my side, to quote the most beautiful poems that made my heart melt.
Lunch wasn't fantastic either. I sat at the Cullen table on my own, trying to ignore all the stares and thoughts people threw at me. Bella's kept me in her sight for the whole time, talking to her friends in the meanwhile. She was having a hard time too, but much less than I did.
I was practically dying inside.

When it was finally time to go home, I broke down. I cried the whole way down to the house, sobbing and constantly begging why. I thought going o school was a good distraction, but it turned out to be more of a hell than I'd expected. The memories of them haunted me.
I didn't want memories – I wanted the real stuff.

At home I made my homework and sat on the couch, just sitting there. Bella's irritated and worried sighs only frustrated me more. When Charlie got home, we had dinner. Or better said they had. I wasn't in the mood for eating and just shuffled my food around my plate.
"Melody, eat something please. It's unhealthy not to." Charlie said, a sad look in his eyes with his mustache turned downwards. I shrugged, knowing I hurt Charlie's feelings, and eventually took a few bites. It tasted awful and I wanted to chuck it out just as fast as it entered my mouth.
After dinner Bella and Dad did the dishes as I crept upstairs and quietly vomited again. The nausea never seemed to stop.
That night I was terribly tired again, letting myself fall uncomfortably on the bed. the bruises weren't helping my state.

As I slept, strange things happened in my unconsciousness, making me even more confused than I already was.
That probably had to do, with a little boy that kept telling me stories about his parents, but when I asked him who they were, he wouldn't answer. he said I knew.
The worst thing was, was that he looked like Edward, only much smaller and younger.
He was adorable and the only one to make me smile so now and then. My only happy place in this depressive time I was going through.

I woke up, blinking against the sharp light of a warm day. I took in my surroundings, gasping at the sight of Edward's meadow. My chest hurt as I started crying again.
The feel of a soft little hand on my scarred shoulder, made me look up. I was met with the face of a little boy, with bronze hair, chubby cheeks and striking green eyes.
He looked like clone of Edwards but then in human form.
"Why are you so sad?" he asked me. his voice was beautiful, tinkling. I shrugged.
"someone I loved very much left me." I replied, sniffing up the tears, being fascinated with him. like he eased the pain.
"That's not nice. Let me hug you." He said, taking me by surprise by enclosing his short arms around my neck. I wrapped mines hesitatingly around his back, hugging him to me. when he let me go again, I immediately felt the loss.
"where are you from?" he asked again, sitting down in front of me.
I smiled lightly, "from Forks. And you?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. I think from where my mommy and daddy live. But I don't know where that is." He answered. I felt bad for him in an instant. Maybe he'd lost his parents.
"what's your name?" I asked in return. The boy shrugged again, before a boyish grin widened on his little face.
"You'll find out soon enough."

For days everything went the same. I'd wake up way later than I used too, screaming for help, fear and murder after I dreamt about the mysterious little boy. Then I'd get out of my bed, get dressed not caring what I actually wore and indifferently brush my hair. I would skip breakfast and head outside, ignoring Bella and going to school. Awfully lonely I'd sit through the never ending classes, getting all worked up upon hearing one of their names. Every day at lunch, which I skipped too, I'd sit alone at the Cullen table, just staring. When I got home, I'd neatly do my homework, cook dinner for Charlie and Bella en then I'd site deadly silent and still on the couch in the living room, before going to bed again, starting the same routine all over. I didn't eat, drink and refused to hunt. I felt ghastly and even worse, trying to deal with it. Even the touchable memories about her friend were one. Every picture, every present and every single funny memo message had left the wall in my bedroom.

I sat in the kitchen, looking through the window, waiting for something, and nothing at the same time. I had no idea what to do with my life. As I stood up to do the left over dishes, since I hadn't anything else to do, I nearly hit the ground when I saw what was happening outside.
Bella had been at La Push all afternoon after school. she seemed to be over Edward and their relationship. She smiled again, went out with her friends again, ate everything she could and mostly enjoyed her time with Jacob.
Who now, actually was wildly kissing her, having her pushed against the door of the old rusty truck.

I knew it.

It's not like it mattered to me she was with Jacob – let her be, but she lied to Edward. she lied about everything. And now pursuing Edward hadn't worked, Jacob was the next case.
A sudden crash and a sting at the back of my hand, made me aware of what I was doing. The plate I was just drying, had practically exploded under the force of my hands, which were shaking. A sharp end cut open my hand on the upper side and the blood seeped out. I was surprised there was even blood there since Charlie and Bella constantly reminded me in their thoughts I looked like a zombie.
But actual pain wasn't there. no burn, no constant sting – nothing. I only saw the red haze that was blurring my sight. I smashed the remaining chards of the plate against the ground and stomped outside, pushing everything in my way aside. I was beyond furious.

I banged open the door, startling them and stopping their actions. Bella's eyes widened upon seeing me. Jacob turned around and gasped at seeing my hand.
My hands were like claws, shaking and on one the blood was seeping down. my eyes were nearly completely black holes from the anger that almost visibly steamed out of my ears. My jaw had tightened and my breathing was irregular.
"Uhm..Melody…I ehm.." Bella stammered.

And after almost a month of no speaking, I finally let loose.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I roared, getting more closer to them in a little too vampiric manner. I didn't care if the dog noticed. Bella backed away behind Jacob.
"How COULD you! You LIAR! You dirty backstabbing TYPHUS bitch!" I was out of control, so animalistic like I'd never been.
'She completely mad! What the hell? Maybe she needs a psychiatrist?'
I came to stand in front of Jacob, jabbing my finger against his chest, my voice low and dark.
"I don't need a fucking psychiatrist."

Jacob's eyes widened in shock just as Bella's did. 'What is going on? what did I do?'
I turned to Bella, "What did you do!? EVERYTHING! You RUINED it! I HATE YOU!" I screamed, the tears flowing down now.
Bella and Jacob were deadly silent and suddenly Jacob lunged for me, taking hold of me with his strong arms. I struggled.
"LET ME GO!"

He was already walking towards the house, not wanting to wake suspicious in the neighborhood. I fought against him, but my body , that hadn't had any sustenance, was too weak.
When Bella had closed the door behind her, Jacob set me down and backed away, before I could hurt him.
"Melody calm down! let us explain before you jump to any conclusions." Jacob, said, his hand in front of him defensively. I took deep breaths as I felt myself weakening again. my muscles lost their strain and I sunk to the ground, on my hands and knees, crying.
"Melody, I..We…Bella and I have a relationship. I'm sorry if that…hurts you…but it just happened, alright? And – "
"As if I'd be hurt about you having a relationship with the shrew. I don't care about you and your pathetic tribe!" I hissed at him, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. Jacob's eyes widened as Bella's eyebrows creased in utter confusion. She had no idea where I was referring too. not that she needed to know. Jacob sighed again, still defensive as Bella spoke up from behind his back.
"Look, Melody…I know you think this is awful, but really? Edward was the one who left me! it wasn't the other way around!" she started to grouse at the end making me laugh cynically through my tears.
"Oh, right! And you secret visits to La Push were so innocent that everyone should believe you isn't it?" I spat. Bella's eyebrows creased again, as her mind wildly began searching for a reply. She was astonished that I knew of her dirty little secret.
'….or maybe I can say it was for ..a school project? She'd take it right? Just with the right use of w – '

I huffed," it wasn't for a damn school project Bella, so don't tell me a fake! I'm mean really? Why don't you just tell me, and your next ex-boyfriend here, that you only dated Edward because you needed a new fuck-toy!" I snapped loudly, pointing at her as realization dawned down on her.
'Oh Lord! Does she…can she? Read minds? No it can't be!'

The little lion was out of the cage and not getting back anymore. I was angry, tired and sick of keeping my whole being a secret. Like I cared if she knew I could read her mind. she knew I had known of her lies all the time.
"Yes, I can. I've been able too since I can remember. " I snapped again, starting to get dizzy from the exertion I needed to give at that moment. Bella's mouth hung open in astonishment, just as Jacob's did.
"This is getting even more mad than before…" Bella squeaked before she fainted. Jacob ran up to her as I watched. He seemed to really care for Bella. and maybe she did for Jake too, but it still wasn't fair how she'd treated Edward. how she was the main reason why he'd left. If Bella hadn't been in my way, he'd already known of me.
I sighed, feeling the dizziness take over control in my system and crawled up the stairs, leaving Jacob and Bella behind me.

I had managed to crawl upstairs, which had taken me long enough. I didn't bother to make sure if Bella and Jacob where alright, I didn't really care. When I reached the bathroom I cleaned my bloodied hand, and bandaged it. luckily I was only a small cut which would heel soon enough without anyone noticing it had been there. after leaving the bathroom I shuffled, tired again, to my bedroom and crawled under the duvet, shivering from the cold. I had no idea why, but this all seemed so strange to me – the sleeping, the numbness, the cold. But it probably was quite normal seeing the stage I was in. how wrong I felt was indescribable. I closed my eyes, my head on the pillow and fell asleep for the second time that day, hoping that my little friend would appear in my dreams again. I was starting to get addicted to him and panicked when he wouldn't appear or make me feel slightly better than worse.

I'd just slumbered down a bit, when my bedroom door was forcefully opened. I didn't bother to look up to see whom it was.
"Melodiana Helena Marie Swan!"Charlie's stern, gruff voice sounded through the room. He'd said my whole name, which should scare me. but if he wanted to ground me, I'd be only happy with that. Apart from school I never left the house anyway.
"What happened? Why has your sister fainted and why is there a shattered, bloodied plate laying in my kitchen?" he went on, standing at the side of my bed now. I sighed.

"I crushed the plate with my hand, so there's where the blood comes from. And Bella just found out that her sister is a creepy mind-reader. Cool huh?" I answered in a careless, lifeless tone.
'She what!? Melody do you have any idea about the risk!?'
"Telling her is just as risky as telling you, Dad." I snarled back. I heard him sigh deeply.
"I'm going to explain Bella about it and you'll be with us. She owns us , and especially you, and explanation Melody!" he yelled. I cringed from the volume, what made my head hurt even more. I didn't reply, which irritated him.

'You're downstairs in five minutes.' His stern voiced command rang through my head . Again no reply from me, as he shut the door.

As said, five minutes later, I was seated on a chair at the kitchen table with a wide-eyed Bella and a worried Charlie in front of me.
Bella's mind was angry, confused and above all, bitchy as ever. Now she knew of my gift, she apparently couldn't leave it to think about new nicknames for me. Zombie troll was the last trend she'd come up with.

"alright, girls. Bella I know this is really strange for you and all, but you need to listen to our story okay?" Charlie began, a slight tremor in his voice, something only someone with supersensitive hearing would know. Bella nodded, still wide-eyed for a reason.
"Melody, since you clearly refuse to talk much, I rather want you to listen and correct me when I'm wrong." 'And, please no temper tantrums. Your old Dad can't handle those right now..'

Charlie had started to call my aggressive moments, or better said, vampiric moments, temper tantrums. But yeah…it was his own fault we ended up being partly Italian, mutants and full of the Mediterranean temperament. The quick tempered behavior sat surely in our blood.
I shrugged as an answer to Charlie's thoughts, crossing my arms in front of my chest and seeing Bella's eyes shoot from me to Charlie. That was his cue to start the story.
"What just took place, Bella, was some kind of conversation between your sister and me. I asked her something through my thoughts, and she answered with the shrug. People who are not aware of her ability won't get suspicious by just a shrug." He explained, using his hands to gesture. Bella nodded again, her brow frowned.
"It started, probably, when she was born. You see – " Charlie moved on telling her the memory I'd lost after the accident in the baseball stadium. Lots of my memories from at a very young age, were gone. Of course, my siblings and also Charlie told me again how it went – the same story, a little bit edited, he told Bella now.

It started after my birth. Scarlett was convinced I could already read minds then, because she showed me a memory of me studying them and answering their questions by body language. When I became older and started talking, it became much more noticeable that I had that gift. They all helped me to handle with it when I was close to humans who weren't aware of my ability.
Before I came to Forks, Scarlett told me it was odious, to bare anything that held our secret. And even while Charlie knew some of the aspects, we never told him the complete stories of our beings. It would be too much for him.
I'd always been so different, even thought classmates and people I got along with never knew of this ability. When Edward came along, I started to feel that it could be normal. I wasn't the only one. The thought of Edward made me cringe again, as the hole in my chest gaped, burning at the sides.

"So, if I ask her something in my head, then she'll hear?" I heard Bella ask Charlie as I snapped back to the present again. I fought the urge to roll my eyes – it wasn't like she didn't know how it worked. Charlie nodded, looking at me, 'Where did your mind go just then?' I shrugged, not wanting to answer.
Bella looked at me, 'So…did they know this all the time? You knew what Edward was thinking all the time? About Alice's visions? Everything!?'
I sighed, cleared my throat and spoke awfully soft, "could you please ask one thing at the time – it's a little difficult to follow." I said, with the same lifeless tone where they'd gotten used to. Bella sat back in her chair and Charlie curiously watched as we communicated like this. It made him happy that Bella accepted it – that I was different. I let him believe that was true, since they didn't even know the half of it.
"To answer your questions – no, no and yes." I said, staring ahead of me.
"Wow…it's truly unbelievable.."'You're not a vampire now, are you?'

I stiffened at first, but rolled my eyes and shook my head 'no'. Bella smiled a little apologetic. She didn't like it that I knew of her plan with Edward in the beginning of their, now clear, fake relationship, but she didn't feel the need to feel guilty about it either. But that was just some 'Renee' chromosome. Renee, Bella's mother, called her frequently lately. I didn't get why, she did and reading minds over the phone line didn't work. I felt my body sigh again. sometimes I did things in a daze, without noticing I did them.
"Dad, can I go upstairs again? I'm sleepy?" I asked, feeling my eyes flutter close so suddenly. The tiredness came with such a rush. Charlie nodded and smiled a little, lifting his mustache. I used to laugh at it as a kid, but laughing was something I didn't do anymore. I pushed myself away from the table but before I went to my room, I wanted to make one thing clear as ever.

"If I find out you told someone about this, even Jacob, you'll undergo the consequences."
And with that, I lazily stumbled up the stairs in search for my bed and my little bronze haired friend again. As soon as my head hit the soft pillow, I was out like a light.

'Hey! You're back!' his smile was so bright as his squealing, boyish voice echoed through the meadow. It was winter this time, snow covering the once there grass beneath me. He wore a soft hat that covered his ears, as a shawl surrounded his neck. On his hands were just as soft gloves, which fit with his reddish thick sweater. He never seemed to have it too cold or too warm, even though his perfectly shaped nose pinked by the freezing temperature. I smiled my brightest smile, the one I used to save for Edward. The boy came running up to me and hugged my legs, looking up at my face, his golden eyes, sparkling.
'Come on, sit down with me on the blanket! It's warm!' he giggled. The next thing I knew, we were seated on a thick, blue, blanket in the middle of the meadow. As snowflakes cast down, I realized I wasn't cold either. It was really warm instead. I looked down and noticed I was just wearing my pajamas – a white, cotton nightgown with long sleeves.
'Shouldn't we give each other a name? I don't know your name and you don't want to tell me.' I remarked. The boy giggled again, making me smile.
'Okay!' he said, tapping his chin like he was thinking deeply. I chuckled and realized again, that I wasn't able to read his mind – it was so peaceful, easy to be around him.
'Maybe we can just use the first letters of our names?' he suddenly said, enthusiastically. I frowned. 'Okay, mine is M. what's yours?'
'Call me E.'

I heard a loud scream as I struggled to get out from under the thick duvet. When I'd kicked the whole thing off of me, I was gasping for air. The scream was clearly mine, since I was back in my bedroom again, which I actually never left. I felt so confused after this dream.
He looked like Edward, acted like Edward and now the first letter of his name was E. Before I could stop it I burst out in tears, which was new – I hadn't shown any emotion during the past weeks. Deep, loud sobs broke from my chest and I felt like I could cry rivers. My eyes hurt from the salty flow and I sniffled constantly. Wiping away the tears. Why did this happen so suddenly? This wasn't normal – I hadn't lost a tear in weeks.
I cried further for what felt like hours, but turned out the be a full thirty minutes. I waited until my breathing went back to normal and sat back against the headboard of my bed. I sighed and got out to start yet another day without actually living. I put on a pair of black leggings and a very deep purple cotton dress without any shape in it. I stumbled downstairs, fully awake but not completely able to open my eyes yet, and dragged myself into the kitchen for the every morning pretence of breakfast.
Charlie greeted me form his spot on a chair with the newspaper in front of him, as I got a bowl of cereal and sat in front of him. I shuffled the flakes around in the milk, without feeling the urge and want to actually eat it. I hadn't eaten for weeks.

The sudden bang on the table, startled me. I gasped, looking up, almost smashing the bowl from the table. Charlie had banged his fist on the table, hard.
"This CAN NOT continue! I'm DONE with it!" he yelled, his eyes squeezed together in anger with his jaw tight. I gave him a look of disbelief.

What the hell did I do now!?

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! And please review! I'd be so happy with that! I like interaction with my readers upon the story! ;)

~Lexi