Super long chapter ahead! 6 reviews for the next chapter?
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Right now I'm holding my child in my arms. She's beautiful. She's human. She's fully a human. I haven't cried over this yet. Not in front of Jacob. He needs to at least think I'm strong. My father frowned at this as he carried the last box to the moving van. I looked away.
Jacob was at a tribal he's meeting me in P.A it won't be soon. We're leaving today. Ethan hasn't reached me about missing so much school and I don't excpect him to. I haven't heard from Nathuel either. Dad says not to worry about him. He's probably resumed his travel around the world with his sisters. His alive sisters.
I haven't seen Jacob in two days. Which means he hasn't seen Nevaeh in two days. I know it's killing him. He doesn't know we're leaving today and he left his cell here so I can't call him and tell him. This frustrates me. He needs to know that we're leaving. I need to know if he's going to come with us. My heart is aching for him. Oh! And Nevaeh has a gift.
She can persuade people to do things with her look and we know this because she told us through her thoughts with her touch. It made me happy to know that she knows who I am and who Jacob is. She knows who Edward is and Bella. She knows Carlise, Esme, and Rosalie. Alice has an almost constant migrane from not being able to see the future anymore.
And for privacy reasons we're all living in seperate houses. Every couple has a different house. I have a house with Jacob. And if Jacob doesn't come with us I'll move in with my parents. It's all looking okay right now.
Nevaeh touched my arm and showed me a picture of Jacob. "He's busy sweetie." I told her and she snuggled into my neck only thinking about her father. She remembers his smell and his happy atmosphere. So do I. We both miss him.
"Are you ready to go Renesmee?" Mom asked and I nodded. "I put Jacob's cellphone on the stand next to the door. We'll call Billy's house when we get there." Mom explained and I nodded. She smiled with sympathy. "I'm sorry baby. I know you want him to come with us right now but he just can't. We're going to have to wait and find out what he's allowed to do." Allowed to do. He should have his own free will.
"You know that isn't it Renesmee. He has a destiny, he has to stay loyal to his pack and do what the council chooses. If they choose for him to stay...then he has no choice." Dad told me what I already knew. I was just in denial and refused to believe it.
Mom took the baby from me and Nevaeh laughed with excitment to be held by someone else. To give someone else some memories and thoughts. Dad came to me and held out his hand. I took it and stood up. We walked out of the house and I didn't look back. I'd only be sad.
Alice handed me my fake liscense and I took it with pleasure. She smiled at me. "Which car do you want to drive Ness? You get to pick one." I looked at Dad. He smiled and nodded. "The volvo." I love the volvo. Ever since I was little I've loved the volvo. Dad handed me the keys.
"Your mother and I are going to drive with Nevaeh if you don't mind. We don't want you to have any distractions.", "That's fine." I kissed Nevaeh one last time before we began our trip and she hugged me tightly. Afterwards I jumped in the volvo and started it. The purr of the engine made me remember Jacob. I pushed thoughts of him away for now and tried to remember what Emmett had taught me about driving.
Emmett and Rose were behind me in the Jeep, Jasper and Alice behind them in the porshe. Carlisle in the moving van behind them, Esme in the Austen Martin behind them and Mom Dad and Nevaeh in the Guardian in front of me. I put in a NeverShoutNever cd and tried to drive happily. But thoughts of Jacob kept popping into my mind at uneven intervals, distracting me from the road.
Screw calling him when we get there. We're only an hour into our trip and I'm already flipping out over him. I called Billy on my cellphone and he answered after two rings. "Hey Nessie. Jacob's out. Collecting his thoughts or something like that." I laughed at that. Jacob's never has to 'collect' his thoughts.
"Oh. Do you know how the tribal meeting went?" Of course he would know. He has the main descion on all of this. "Kid I think he should talk to you about this. Not me. I'll tell him to call you." This is bad. "Okay....thanks Billy.", "Anytime." and he hung up. Damn it. I really can't get a hold of him. Wait.
I dialed Quils number with quickness and ease. "Ness? What'd ya need?" he didn't sound as cheerful as he usually does. "Is Jacob with you?", "No he ran off because he's pissed beyond belief. He think you left him and took Nevaeh with you.", "Ugh! Just phase and tell him to call me. Oh and tell him his cell is on the table inside the house.", "Kay bye." Quil hung up and I could only imagine the trouble I was going to be in.
I watched the sun set and Jacob still hasn't called. The time was ticking away to nine o'clock. Impatience took over me and just as I was about to call Quil again someone called me. "Hello?", "Renesmee. Where the hell are you? Where's Nevaeh?!" he was practically yelling at me. His anger was bringing angry tears to my eyes.
"She's fine. We're on our way to Pennsylvania. I tried to call and tell you but I had your phone and you were busy at that tribal thing. I couldn't reach you. We had no choice but to leave today." he sighed impatiently. "Nessie I can't go." my heart sank and I stopped the car and pulled off to the side of the road. I held back my sobs.
"You...can't...go?" I forced the words out of my mouth. "They said this is my destiny. I have to stay here now that I'm the alpha. I still have so much to learn and...it's just better if I stay." Emmett was knocking on my window. I flipped him off and turned away.
"Jacob, Esme has a house for us and everything. What about Nevaeh? She's human. I need your help what if-", "What do you want me to do about it Renesmee? You think that I like this anymore than you do?", "I didn't say-", "I can't go just drop it." I'm not going to drop it!
"I can't just drop it Jacob! This is our child that the Volturi may or may not be after that I'm trying to talk to you about. If you care at all you'll try harder.", "I can't try any fucking harder! I've tried! I don't what what else you want me to do?!" Neither of us spoke.
"I don't know. I just want you to be here! I want us to live in the nice white picket fence house in Pennsylvania! I want you to be with me when our baby get's sick for the first time. I thought we were getting married." My voice broke numerous times while trying to say all of that.
"I have to go. Bye.", "I love you Jacob no mat-" and then I heard the dial tone and I went into hysterics.
"Fuck!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and collapsed against the seat crying. I threw my phone in the passenger seat and cried like a baby. I heard someone calling my name but I ignored them and just hit the gas pedal. After a few seconds Dad passed me and we were in out regular order again. I can't believe Jacob. What's gotten into him?
I was numb until we stopped at a hotel in I dont know or car where. I parked the car and locked it. I followed my family upstairs. Nevaeh and I had a room to ourselves. We were outside of it when Dad stopped me.
"I think she should come with us for a while. You need to rest." , "I can take care of my own child. I don't need your help." I snapped at him and I carried her into the hotel room. Her and I fell asleep with all of the lights on.
***
Kara and Jacob were standing in his living room. She touched his chest. "She's gone Jacob. She isn't coming back. And obviously you aren't going to her so....", "Kara stop it. You have Brady. He's my brother I'm not going to do this to him. And I love Nessie.", "But you love me more. Admit it Jacob. You love me more." She inched closer to him. Inches away from his lips. "I can't." he whispered but he did anyways. They kissed and I felt my heart breaking.
***
My screams were muffled by the pillow next to me. Dad and Mom burst into the room and Mom soothed a crying Nevaeh and Dad soothed me. "It was just a dream. He loves you." I couldn't reply to this statement. I only could nod.
2 Weeks Later
Jacob has been calling nonstop and I haven't answered. He doesn't even know where we are. I don't even know where we are. I've been silent for two weeks. Except for talking to Neveah. She hasn't been showing me pictures of Jacob and I don't know what to make of that.
I think we live somewhere in Hershey but I'm not sure. I promised myself that the next time that Jacob called I would answer. But that was hard to do when Neveah was so sick. Since Neveah and I live in our house Carlisle had to come over and tend to her. Since she's fully human he knows exactly how to treat her. She somewhow has phenmmonia.
The phone ran and I answered it before the second ring. "Hello?" there was a sigh of relief. "Baby, I haven't been able to reach you. I'm coming to visit you. I love you so much.", "Yeah. I love you too.", "You sound sick whats wrong?" he asked and I honestly hadn't realized how sickly I sound.
"I'm not sure. I just...hurt. Being away from you makes me physically ill Jake.", "Me too. They say that can happen but of course it's never occured because couples usually don't seperate like we had to.", "Are you on your way?" he laughed. "I'm about a mile from your house baby.", "Our house." I corrected him. "I'll be there in a few.", "Alright. I love you.", "I love you." and he hung up.
Carlisle came downstairs with a smile on his face. "Renesmee Neveah is fine. Her sickness is almost completely healed up. And I heard you on the phone with Jacob. How about Esme and I take Neveah to our house and when your ready you both can come over. We can all meet there." I smiled and hugged him. "Thanks Grandpa. Sure. Is she sleeping?" She must be because she isn't crying. "Yes she is. I'll get her and we'll be on our way."
When Carlisle went upstairs to get the baby I took a quick shower and put on some light makeup. I looked awful. There were bags under my eyes, I was paler than usual, and I couldn't bring myself to full out smile. I dressed in sweats and a pink cami. The house was burning up but it was freezing outside. When I went downstairs I went to the kitchen and looked out the window. Carlisle was gone.
I went to the stove to cook brownies. Yum. I mixed it all together and put the batter into a pan. I heard the door open. I looked to see Jacob looking sexier than ever standing in my doorway. In our doorway. I ran to him and he held his arms out to me and picked me up. I squeezed him as tightly as I could. He carried us to the couch and I straddled him as I attacked him with my lips.
"Calm down baby." he laughed and lightly pushed me away. I felt him I ground myself on him once but he held my hips in place. "See what you do to me Nessie? I swore to myself I wasn't going to get like this." What's he mean? He doesn't want to...be with me? He saw the confusion written across my face.
"I didn't want to get here and just have sex.", "Why not? We haven't seen eachother in two weeks. I miss the feeling of you. I want you." To prove my point I kissed the middle of his neck. I felt him quiver. It made me feel superior to know that I've found his weakness.
"Where's Neveah?" he asked and her name on his lips made me smile. "With Carlisle and Esme. He took her for a little bit to let us...be alone." he sighed and closed his eyes. "Damn baby your driving me crazy." he whispered I took his hands and intertwined them with mine. He opened his eyes to look at me.
"Your so beautiful.", "Your not to bad yourself Jake." he smiled. "So..." he said absentmindidly. Damn it! Can't he just make love to me already? I feel him underneath me. I know he wants it!
"Jacob please. Just love me.", "I do love you." Ugh! "You know what I mean." he was ignoring me!
"What Jake? Is there another girl? Is that why you won't have sex with me?" I was joking but his face didn't change. "Oh my God. Who is she?" Jealousy overcame me. I knew this wouldn't work out. I knew he'd get sick of me and move on. I'm not surprised. Tears were burning in my eyes as I tried to hold them back.
"You know thats not it." he replied. "You usually always want to make love. Were my dreams right Jacob? Are you with Kara?", "Stop baby. Your being dramatic. I'm just not in the mood." I pointed down to his obvious erection directly underneath my heat.
"Your body is betraying you Jacob.", "I don't want to." I know there's someone else. I'm not stupid. "Fine. I'll be right back." I got off him but he stopped me with his hands. "What're you doing?", "Since your not going to give me what I want I'll just have to tend to myself." Try saying that without blushing.
"Fuck Ness." he pulled me on top of him and kissed my wildly as he moved underneath me. Trying to get my to rub against him. I stood up on my knees but he pulled me down on him. Moaning at the contact. After a few minutes of that he stopped me and his eyes closed. I wondered why he stopped. I tried moving.
"Baby stay still." he told me but I couldn't. "Fuck I'm gonna cum don't make me cum Ness. Not yet. Let me calm down here." I couldn't I kept moving until he slammed me down on him. "Stop." he whispered and slid my sweats down my legs. He moaned when he saw I wasn't wearing panties.
"Are you calm yet baby?" I asked him and unbuttoned his jeans. Releasing his length. "I'm so close, I'm sorry Nessie." he apologized before sliding me down on him. I took off his shirt and he took off mine. He stilled and held me against him. I felt him cum inside of me and I kissed his neck as he came down from his high.
"Your so hot Jake." I whispered and I felt him blush. I ran my hand up his chest and kissed anywhere I could reach. I put my fingers on my sensitive clit but he took them away. They were replaced with his. "Mmm Jake." He moved his hips in quick circled and I came hard on top of him. I'm sure the entire neighborhood could hear me. He laughed but I couldn't speak. I was still so far away in ecstasy.
He pulled out and layed me on my back on the couch. He put himself next to me and I held onto him panting. "I could never find anyone as good as you Nessie. Damn that was nice." I blushed. I'm not used to him talking like that to me. He moved my face from his neck to his lips. Kissing me slowly. I felt him harden next to my stomach.
I took a deep breath. I moved my lips to his ear. "Promise me that while we're not together you won't make love to anyone. Please baby promise me." His arms constricted around my bare waist. "I promise with all of my heart.", "And I promise you the same Jacob." we kissed for a few minutes before it became making out.
His taste was so exquisite. His entire being was calling to mine. His tougne tangled with mine making my stomach tighten. Our kissing slowed and finally came to a halt. I looked into his eyes strangely wondering if anyone had ever looked into his eyes and seen what I was seeing. Love.
"Jake...who have you had sex with before? Other than me. I won't be mad. Promise." Kind of. He sighed. "It'll only make you sad Nessie. I want this to be our moment." Tell me...please. I asked him through my touch.
"Fine...uh three other people. Satisfied?" No. Who? "Stop it baby. I don't want to have this conversation." Please? "Kara, Leah, and this girl that I dated when you were little." I looked behind him. Trying not to look into his eyes. So there were people that he had loved more than me. Thats cool I guess....
My body wanted to scream and cry. I know what his body looks like. And I hate it that anyone else got to see him or be with him like I do. "Don't cry. See this is why I didn't want to tell you.", "I'm fine." my voice broke and I just wanted to walk away and be by myself. So he wouldn't read me like a book.
"I have to go put the brownies in the oven." I stood up and put my sweats back on. He was still laying there. Completely naked and sexy. "Don't be like that. Come here. I haven't seen you in a long time just lay with me." I went to walk away to get my shirt. "Kiss me?" he asked and I could at least do that.
I went to him, bent down and kissed him. He pulled me down on him and kissed my breasts. "Stop Jake." Those lips have been on three other women. I pushed him away and put my shirt on. "I'm not mad at you just these brownies need to go into the oven. Get some clothes on before someone walks in." I told him.
"I don't want to get dressed. This is our house. I can't walk around naked if I'd like to." Whatever. Three other women have seen his naked body. Three other women have had my Jacob inside of them. Anger was slowly consuming me.
I went into the kitchen and put the brownies in the oven. I adjusted the time and hit start. I felt his hands on my waist from behind. "Jacob you better have clothes on when I turn around." he chuckled and his hands whent underneath my shirt and onto my stomach.
"So...did....did you like them better than me?", "Well they were more experienced." so he wants me to get experience? I took his hands off of me and went to the fridge. "I was just kidding Renesmee! Your the best I've ever had. You know exactly what I want. You made me cum in under ten minutes!" I smiled. I turned around to look at him. He had his jeans on.
"I have something for you." He whispered and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a diamond ring. He held it out to me. I got an idea. For more experience of course.
"Jacob...how about we...kind of like see other people." his eyes went wide. He began shaking. "What the fuck do you mean 'see other people'? Your mine." he was shaking uncontrollably now. "Calm down. It was just an idea.", "So you want to have sex with another man? Who Renesmee? Tell me so I can kill him."
"Stop it. It's just you said 'more experience' so I thought that ya know...nevermind.", "You want to put someone elses dick inside of you.", "Bluntly yes." That made him go crazy. I walked to him and put my hand on his bare chest. He pushed it off of him.
"Stop acting like a baby. Forget about what I said." Of course he won't.
"Nessie, just tell me why? Am I not enough for you?", "You are. It's just...when we have sex I want to be enough for you.", "You are enough for me. Your more than enough. I just want to know why you'd want another man touching you like I do." I blushed. I wish he'd forget about it already.
"Because Jacob I am attracted to other men. Just like you are to other women.", "But I'm not! I only want you. If you want to 'see other people' thats fine. I'll go." I sighed. "Don't go. Forget about it.", "I can't! How do I know that you are fantasizing about other men when I'm making love to you?"
"The same way I know your not thinking about Kara. I trust you. And I scream your name when I cum Jake." he thought for a second.
"Your mine Nessie." I went to him and put my hands on his chest. I kissed under his collarbone. "I'm yours."