-April 10th, Year of the 46th Hunger Games-

My eyes are weary, tracking the wine as I slosh it around the glass. I can smell the puke from the bathroom and as it mixes with the alcohol in the air, it creates a vile scent. I'm guessing that no one is currently residing in the bedrooms, but I haven't checked. Tyga's in the mentoring room. God knows where Decimus or the District 5 style team is. I can hear the distant bass from a Capitol party. It's a big party – perhaps my team are there, living it up. Probably. That's what these Capitol people do. They party whilst the District's children die.

I gulp down the rest of the wine in my glass and reach for some more, but the bottle's empty so I carelessly toss it to the ground. It doesn't smash. I'm not sure what time it is, but it's dark outside – maybe 1am? Bile creeps up my throat, but I push it back down. I've already puked three times. That wasn't because of the alcohol though. No. I think it was probably because tonight I watched Circe die.

I was in the middle of an interview with Caesar. It was a casual thing. Not so much an interview as an analysis of the Games so far. There were a few of us there – Green, Tobi, an older woman from 4 called Mags – we basically just took a look at clips and explained who we thought had good chances of winning and why tributes did what they did. It was alright actually. The killing shown was minimalistic, which made it slightly more pleasant than usual. And Tobi was there if I needed support, I suppose. I settled into it quickly.

'Now, Connor, obviously you're the youngest living Victor so perhaps, in a way, you can relate most to your tributes. What will be going through their minds at this point?' Caesar had asked.

I'd begun answering but then Caesar's hand had gone up to his ear piece and an alarmed expression had spread across his face. 'I'm sorry, Connor, I'm going to have to stop you there. I'm receiving information that you and Green are urgently needed in the mentoring rooms. Ladies and gentlemen, Connor Jedd and Green Western!'

As the audience applauded, I had walked off stage with Green, confused and afraid. Infuriatingly, no one explained to me what was going on as I was rushed to the mentoring rooms. When I arrived, Tyga rushed over and grabbed my hand, leading me into the room.

'Oh, thank God. I thought they'd ignored my request for you' she said, her face pale with fear.

Miami was the only other in the room, and she was a lot more contained in her welcome to Green, with just a solemn head nod. Brutus' tribute, Hermes, had died two days ago, causing the District 2 Victor nothing more than a mild inconvenience, as he left the Capitol, so we were the only mentors left in Room 1.

'The Career alliance is splitting up.' Tyga began.

She didn't need to finish though. My eyes had caught the screen and what I had seen rattled my very soul. The District 1 tributes, Symphony and Lux, were brawling with Circe and Vice. The scene was painted red with blood, but the tributes were all still fighting. The quivering outline of Circe threw a knife at Lux, but it missed. I could see fear in her eyes. Determination, but fear.

Vice was taking on Symphony, and he seemed to be winning. I could see his eyes raging with presence. Every morsel of his focus was on what he was doing here and now. He stabbed a knife into Symphony's shoulder, and it left her flesh a deep crimson and she cried out. This was it – Vice was going to kill the District 1 girl.

Suddenly, I was Tobi, 2 years ago, watching his tributes fight the tributes from District 1. Watching Ace take on Chant as I took on Bliss. Watching the blood, the battle, the horror. I could see it all – how Tobi watched Ace die. District 1 versus District 5. It seemed it always came down to that in the end, at least where I was involved. And last year, when both Savannah and Daley got killed by Cerulean, the District 1 girl. Always District 1 versus District 5. Always.

And then the final scream was heard. It was female – horrific and ultimate. But it wasn't from Symphony. My eyes flicked to the other screen, where Lux had just sunk his sword through Circe's chest. Blood flowed like lava from the wound as Circe hit the ground. I saw her pupils shake away their light until Circe was gone, and the body of a seventeen year-old girl was all that remained.

I stared. The tributes fought. Tyga spoke. I didn't reply. Vice attacked. Symphony died. Green yelled. Vice ran. Lux ran. Tyga spoke. I didn't reply. The hovercraft arrived. Circe left the arena. I went to my room. I didn't speak. I arrived at my room. I sent the Avoxes away. I poured some wine. I sat down. I stared.

And several hours later, here I am.

There are four left now. Lux, Vice, the boy from 9 and the girl from 12. I hope Vice wins. Not because I care about his survival at all – I just don't think I can deal with another year of mentoring. Snyde's threat is still plaguing the back of my mind. I just can't scratch his plans from my mind. Every passing second I'm wondering how far he's willing to go. He wouldn't kill anyone... would he?

I can feel the alcohol sinking into my brain. I've never really drunk much of it before. My eyes start to close. I welcome the nightmares tonight – surely I can't imagine anything much worse than reality.

'Connor Jedd! What in the name of Panem are you doing?!'

I sit up too fast and my vision flies into colours and spots for a few seconds before I regain focus. I look down at myself. My white shirt is no longer white, with dots of red. At first I worry that it's blood, but I'm all too familiar with the colour of blood and this doesn't match. Plus it doesn't take a genius to take note of the waft of alcohol fumes that surround me. My blonde hair creates patches in my vision, so I swipe it aside.

The coffee table is stained with drops of wine and a glass is split into shards on the floor. I can vaguely smell puke. Standing as far away from the detritus as possible, Decimus looks positively green with disgust. His nose is curled up and his eyes are wide with shock.

'What happened here?!'

'Ugh...' I begin, holding my head, 'Sorry, I dunno, I just-'

'This is completely inappropriate for a mentor! Sure, I've heard about the Victors from six and ten, but good lord, Connor – I did not expect this from you!'

'What can I say, Decimus?' I throw my hands up melodramatically. 'I screwed up!'

His face turns sour. 'Do you really think this is appropriate, judging your current...situation with the Capitol?! They've already got plans to lay on more Avoxes to maintain things here – we do not need any more cause for fire! And this reflects badly on all of us! Now, come on, Connor! Tyga's been in that mentoring room for way longer than she should have been.'

I feel a tug at my heart when she mentions Tyga. I just left her. Again.

'Go and get a shower! And good lord, we need to get an avox in here.'

I take Decimus' advice and go to get showered. My bathroom reeks of vomit, so I sneak across the hall to use whoever's room is opposite mine. My head hurts – I'm not sure if that's normal? It probably is. I make a mental note to not get drunk again. As I'm in the shower, last night starts to come back to me – Circe, Symphony, Lux, Vice. I've still got a job to do. Even if I don't like Vice, it's not my job to decide whether he lives or dies. I've got to at least try to help him. I wrap a towel around my waist and walk out of the bathroom. I'm greeted by a high-pitched squeal.

'Oh my god, Carvilia! I'm so sorry!'

My favourite prep team member is stood in what must be her bedroom looking bewildered.

'Sorry, I borrowed your shower. Mine is...having plumbing...issues.'

'Oh no, umm, that's fine.' She regains her composure slightly. 'I was just coming in to sort you out anyway. Decimus said that you were looking a bit worse for ware. We can do it hear if you want.'

I sit down, and she gets out a massive tray of products – a smorgasbord of make-up, conditioner, gels, creams and basically anything beauty-related. She starts working a mousse into my hair. We chat for a while – I haven't had a chance to speak to her in ages. Eventually, the inevitable topic comes up.

'Is it true what they're saying about you and Tyga?'

'I dunno.'

She puts down the mousse and starts rubbing creams into my cheeks and forehead. 'Well, I mean if it is, good for you. You're...sweet together.' Her hands falter very slightly. 'But, be careful.'

'How so?'

'Just...you have to be careful how you play it. These things can go wrong sometimes.'

'Carvilia, I think I've experienced the Capitol at its worst. I know what they're capable of.'

'Nonetheless...' She eyes the corners of the room and I suddenly realise there are probably cameras in here. 'Be careful. Don't make a dangerous enemy.'

Whilst the topic is dropped quickly, I take these words in. Although I've probably already made a dangerous enemy. Because I need to stop fooling myself that the Capitol is even slightly on my side. They don't need me. Not really. And I wonder how many mistakes I need to make before they dispose of me. Unless I can make myself needed...

I ponder this as I head down to the mentoring room.

A/N: So, here you go! I hope you enjoy this chapter! And PLEASE PLEASE review! :D See you next week!