CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
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April 3rd 2006 PT2
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Hermione stood outside the delapidated department store as hundreds of Muggles passed her by, not bothering to question why she was stood there, frozen, as tears streamed down her face. She hadn't known where to go, or what to do, or even what the hell had happened. The healers had never mentioned that there was even the slightest possibility of Arty losing his memory. Admittedly she had responded to the predicament in quite a hysterical fashion, but hearing her own son say that he didn't know who she was? She was heartbroken.
It hurt her far more than it probably should that Arty had recognised Charlie and not her. She had been the sole patent for over five years, giving up on a lot of the things that she had dreamed of for herself to make sure that he was properly looked after and Charlie had only been back in their lives for a little over six months. Now that she had put some distance, however small it may be, between her and the situation though, she knew that her initial reaction had been fuelled by jealousy and insecurity, leaving her feeling the ache of guilt in her gut on top of the hurt she felt in her heart. She sighed, covering her face with her hands and trying to work up the courage to go back in, just as she felt a hand gently touch her lower back and span around, finding a very confused Charlie.
"Thank god," he sighed, pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her shoulders, one of his hands burrowing into her hair and tripping tightly, almost desperately, "merlin, I had no idea where you'd gone!"
"I'm sorry." she muttered against his jumper before pulling away slightly to look up at him and he ground down at her, his eyes full if concern.
"Why are you sorry?" He asked, "I can't say I blame you for reacting that way."
"I panicked," she sighed, "I needed to get away, I needed to think and cal-"
She was cut off by his lips on hers, gently quieting what he knew would only end up in a guilty ramble. Hermione sighed, closing her eyes and allowing herself to relax into his embrace, keeping them closed as he pulled his lips away and rested his forehead on hers. When he didn't speak, she opened her eyes and pulled away, frowning.
"The healers expected amnesia, you know?" He asked and Hermione's eyes widened before a mixture if anger and relief washed over her, "yeah, when I was looking for you, one of his healers came and told me that all they have to do is give him a memory potion and-"
"What!" Hermione screeched, directing her anger at him whether intentional or not, "and you couldn't have told me this a little sooner?!"
"I thought it might be best to calm you down, you know, before telling you that by the time we get back upstairs his memory will probably be fine again," Charlie shrugged, looking sheepish and rubbing the back of his neck as Hermione groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose, "I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
"Well I am now! But I wasn't! Do you know what I felt when he remembered you but not me?" She asked and Charlie shook his head, grabbing her wildly gesticulating hands and holding them to his chest, "as heartbroken as I was to hear Arty say he didn't know me, on top of everything else I was fucking furious!"
"I understand, Hermione." Charlie sighed, looking left and right to see if anyone was around before pulling her into a nearby alleyway and casting a muffliato as she slapped him in the chest.
"No, you can't! You will never understand, Charlie!" She shouted, her eyes watering again as she glared at him, "you will never know what it's like to look after a child alone, to give up everything you've ever wanted to make sure that they're ok. Do you think that was easy? Do you think it was fun?!"
"You don't think I would have been here, had I known?!" He snapped back, his eyes narrowed at her, knowing that this had been coming for a long time. Everything had seemed so easy, so straightforward. Her anger at the situation had never risen and he had expected it sooner or later.
"Your family wrote to you almost weekly! Surely you knew that I suddenly had a child!" She screamed punching him weakly, "are you telling me that you never put two and two together?!"
"If I had, don't you think I would have come back?!" He shouted, "of course I knew you had a son, Hermione, but not once did I think he was mine. My mum gushed about Arty, telling me all about his brown hair and how much like his mum he was!"
"Didn't you think it was a bit fucking weird that he was born nine months after that night?!" She hissed and Charlie groaned as she threw her hand against his chest, shaking his head.
"First off, I didn't know his birthday," he growled, "no-one ever told me that. Second, even if they did, a baby can be born early or late, I probably still wouldn't have known!"
"I hated you, for so long I actually hated you," Hermione cried, dropping her hands from his chest and hugging herself, "I had to lie to him, to my own damn son."
"I'm sorry," he croaked, clearing his throat as she looked up and saw his eyes misted over, "I would have been here, Hermione, you know that I would."
"I know, I just…" she sighed, wiping her hands roughly over her cheeks and sniffing, "I should have written more, tried harder… I hate how naive I was to think that one letter would have been enough."
"It would have been," he sighed, hesitantly reaching his hand up to her shoulder, "at any other time it would have been enough. It's just a bunch of badly timed coincidences that kept me away."
She nodded, stepping closer to him as she dropped her forehead on his shoulder. She felt utterly exhausted and mortified from her sudden display of anger, though she also felt lighter somehow. It was almost as though she had been carrying the first five years of Arty's life on her shoulders like the weight of the world and had been trying so hard to welcome Charlie into their lives that the anger and disappointment had become buried in the excitement of this fresh start for them all and now it had finally erupted from her, in a dingy alleyway in Muggle London. She sighed as she felt his arm shaking when it slipped around her waist.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, lifting her head and looking up at him, "for hitting you."
"It's fine," he snorted, kissing her forehead, "it had to happen some time. Personally, I don't think you could have picked a better moment."
"You know I'm not angry with you, right?" She asked quietly and he nodded, "well, not any more, anyway. Not now that I understand what happened."
"I know, Hermione," he sighed, cupping her cheek with his hand and smiling at her, "and you know I love you, yes?"
"I know," she smiled tiredly, "I love you too."
"Come on," Charlie smiled, kissing her forehead again before stepping back and holding his hand out for her, "let's go and see our boy."
