Too Much Love Will Kill You

26 – My love cannot be destroyed

They were both together in the sitting-room. Lorena was playing a sweet melody performed on the violin she had heard on a Muggle radio, aptly entitled 'Remembrances'. She was working on it. It was sweet, sad and nostalgic. It suited her mood – and that of the Potions Master too.

Severus was not listening to her as he was busy with elaborating his lesson plan. Yet, he could hear that a lot of work was involved before rendering a piece to almost perfection. Lorena stopped and resumed, again and again, there were false starts and bad notes, as if the instrument she usually mastered, had just become rebellious between her expert hands. He glanced at her several times, moved by her efforts, her perseverance and her endeavors, her agile fingers struggling their way on the strings. He wondered how many years it had taken her before she could give an acceptable rendition of the 'Adagio for Strings'.

He rose to pick a book in his library when suddenly a sharp pain seared in his left forearm. He clenched his arm, hit full force. The Dark Mark.

Through their bond, Lorena felt suffering in her mind. She stopped playing and put her instrument on the sofa besides. "Severus ?" Her acute hearing heard his shallow breathing. "Severus !" She rose from the sofa and went to him. He may refuse the least tender gesture to her but he would not reject her in such a moment.

Lorena went to him. She was right. "He's summoning you, isn't he ?" she asked softly. The pain showed on his features but what Lorena could not see, she could feel. He had leaned against the shelves. She perceived the angst in his soul – and his struggle not to let it overwhelm him. He fought to regain control of himself. She slid an arm around his waist to support him. "Come with me."

"No, I have to go. Now !"

"Just take a bit of rest before, please…"

"No. When the Dark Lord calls… he doesn't like waiting. We have to leave quick."

"We ?" For a second or two, Lorena thought that she would have to leave with him and meet the Dark Lord.

"Yes… I can't leave you here on your own."

"I can take care of myself alone, Severus. Besides, Ziggy can help me."

"No… I'm not talking about everyday life stuff. Listen, Lorena, it can be a ploy to snatch you once I'm gone. I can't take that risk. We leave for Hogwarts now. Don't argue !" He took a deep breath. "Please, Lorena. We have little time left. Pick up what you need with you."

That was said. "Are you going to be fine ?" He squeezed her arm and Lorena complied. She took her violin she put in its case. She went to pick up her cloak and checked her wand was in her right sleeve. "I'm ready to go, Severus," she said with a determined voice.

"Let's go then." He grabbed her in the middle of the room.

"We don't go out to Apparate ?"

"No… In emergencies, I can Apparate from here directly." He held her tight against him and in a popping sound, they were gone.

A few seconds later, they found themselves in his sitting-room at Hogwarts. Lorena was disoriented. "Where are we ?"

"In my quarters at Hogwarts."

"I thought Apparition was not possible within the castle !"

"The Headmaster granted me this privilege, as a spy for the Order. This is the only place I can depart from and come back to and I'm the only one to be able to do so."

Lorena remembered then when he had gone earlier this Summer. And only him and the Headmaster knows about this arrangement. And me too now. She realized that she shared one secret of the Order of the Phoenix. He had come back with blood on his garments, serious lashes in his back, in the middle of the night. Now it would be the same thing. This time, it may be even worse.

Severus did not lose time. He went to his bedroom and retrieved a small casing in his wardrobe. It contained his Death-Eater mask, as well as several vials. He drank from one – an impotency potion – then he put three other vials in his pockets, after charming them to be unbreakable. Painkilling potions. Blood-replenishing potions. He grabbed his Death-Eater cloak and went back to the sitting room.

Lorena was still there. She had an anxious look on her face. He was under the impression that she knew beforehand what was in stock for him this time. He put the large black cloak around his shoulders.

"Severus…" she called him with a broken voice. "When… when do you think you'll be back ?"

This was a difficult question. Death-Eaters always knew when they arrived in the Dark Lord's presence – never when they departed from it. "I don't know, Lorena. Maybe a day or two or three. I can't tell."

The anxiety she perceived in his voice was more than alarming. He sounds like he's marching to death. The thought was unbearable. "Be careful, Severus."

"I will."

Suddenly, she got an idea. A crazy idea. But it could work any way. She removed the Snape medallion from around her neck. "Take this, Severus. You told me it's supposed to bring luck to the bearer. Now is the time to prove it." She put the medallion around his neck. He was surprised but said nothing. He just hid it under his clothes. "Remember it was part of the ritual. It's endowed with very powerful magic now. Its own properties have been enhanced during the ritual."

She patted his cloak, as if to check that everything was alright with him and that he would be to his best advantage in front of the Dark Lord. He could see in her eyes the tears welling up and her struggle to contain them. "There's another magic that can protect you, Severus."

"What do you mean ?"

"Listen, I know you don't like lengthy goodbyes and neither do I. Something's telling me that this time, the Dark Lord's very angry because of what happened between us. I would not be surprised if he knows about it. Let me give you an extra protection. Something I give you and that he cannot take away from you."

She tiptoed and her lips met his. The kiss, first shy, became more and more passionate. All the pent-up desire and love they felt for each other exploded at that moment, followed by an intense, burning wave of love sweeping his mind. They broke the kiss eventually.

"Severus, I just gave you a part of my elemental magic. The most powerful one. My… love." She hushed him. "Let me finish. Every time you feel you'll lose control, that pain is too much for you to bear or that what the Dark Lord inflicts you will exceed the limits of your endurance, think of how much I feel for you. It'll protect you. The kiss I just gave you is endowed with that magic. Treasure it." Her voice was determined now. "As long as you think about that light in you, you'll live. Because my love for you cannot be destroyed – not even by the Dark Lord. Do not forget it."

She moved away from him to leave him space around to Apparate. Severus let her go. He knew she was right even if the rational part of his brain had issues dealing with it.

"I will wait for you here, Severus." Tears were welling up in her empty pale gray eyes.

There were so many things he wanted to tell her but they were stuck in his throat. Now was not the time actually. They may even become a tool against him. He buried them in the deepest pits of his soul, along with the faint light that was still burning in him.

"Lorena… Please do me a favor. Tell the Headmaster that I've been summoned. He'll understand."

"I will, Severus, I will." Her voice was not shaking despite the big sob mounting in her throat. "You're the bravest man I ever know, Severus."

With these last words in his ears, the Potions Master Apparated – to his fate.

Lorena allowed herself to burst into tears only once he was gone, falling down to her knees, one hand over her heart. She knew it would do her good before she rushed to the Headmaster. Her father used to tell her that it was useless to cry after, once harm was done. Crying was to be made before. It did not last long and she felt better. She left Severus' quarters, warded them once out and found her way to Dumbledore's office.

On her way, she met the Bloody Baron that was kind enough to guide her in the corridors up to the Headmaster's office. Once there, in front of the gargoyle, the ghost whispered her the password. The Baron was always there to help his Slytherins.

Albus Dumbledore raised his head when he heard the stairwell moving. Somebody was coming. He was most surprised to see Lorena, but as she knocked on his open door to announce herself, he gathered at once something was up. The girl could not have Apparated here on her own. He came to her and took her hands in his.

"Where's Severus ?"

"He's been summoned, Professor. Just a few minutes ago. We were in his home when suddenly he felt that horrible Mark burning. It was so powerful, so terrible, I felt it in his soul, through our bond. We Apparated directly here to his quarters and he left, asking me to inform you of the same."

He made her sit in a chair. "That's fine, Lorena. You did well." Lorena could hear concern in his voice. This would not definitely be an ordinary session with the Dark Lord.

"Professor, I'm afraid… that this time, the Dark Lord will be very angry after… after what happened between Severus and me." A pause. "Don't you think, Professor ?" Now anxiety could be frankly heard in her voice.

Albus could not deny it. She was right. Voldemort would be furious to learn that. He would first unleash all his powers to know the culprit. Then he would take his revenge on his spy in the most gruesome manner. For the first time in his life, Albus was afraid. He feared that his Potions Master would never come back alive.

"What's going to happen to him, Professor ?" Tears were spilling on her cheeks now.

Albus decided he would tell her the truth. "I will not withhold information from you, Lorena. Severus may not come back. Voldemort may kill him just because you both foiled a part of his plans. Severus will be punished for that. Tortured and killed after a long, painful and gruesome death."

She swallowed. Nothing new she may know actually. She did not want the details. She only hoped that her magic would work. "There might be one hope though," she said after long seconds. She could not accept that he may die. Not like this. Not because of her. Not because of a night of pleasure they had shared together.

Dumbledore watched her carefully. "I'm listening to you."

"During the ritual, I was wearing a medallion. Severus had lent it to me for the concert, saying it would bring me luck. A lovely jewel he had been given by his mother long ago. Naturally, when the ritual required I carried a jewel, we agreed it would be that one. I don't know if Severus told you but he told me that during the ritual, the jewel was glowing. Apparently, it had become charged with the magic on that night."

"Indeed. Jewels with a strong meaning for the couple are endowed with particular powers."

"I gave it back to him before he left. I know it's been endowed with elemental magic. But that's not the only thing he left with."

Albus was interested. The jewel part had been missing in Severus' report – most likely because probably he had not attached a great importance to it unless he had forgotten about it. "Go on."

"I gave him my… love. We… kissed each other before he left. I told him that my feelings for him…" Her voice broke at this point. She fought her tears. "My love for him cannot be destroyed. If he kept that love in him, he may not be destroyed. The Dark Lord cannot win against love."

Albus felt his eyes becoming wet. He remained silent. He used Legilimens discreetly on her. He felt overwhelmed by a rush of love coming from her and suddenly, he knew she was right. Nothing, no evil power, no evil being could win in front of such a love. Hope came back to his mind. Her love for Severus was so powerful that it could soothe anybody's pain.

"You used a very old yet powerful form of magic, Lorena."

"My elemental magic ?"

"It's a part of it. Love is the most advanced, powerful, universal form of that magic." He paused. "A mother's love can protect her child from the effect of Dark magic. Even against the Killing Curse. So can your love for Severus."

"You mean… he may come back alive then ?"

Albus lowered his face. "No, Lorena. A part of me says, yes, he can make it back. Another part of me says that this may not be possible. I don't want to lie to you. I think you're strong enough to hear the truth. I'd want to tell you that he will come back – he has always come back. But this time… odds are not in our favor. Actually, the gift of your magic to him is the only hope I have to get him back. We're facing someone very powerful. Human endurance has its limits too. We cannot but wait and pray, like Muggles say."

"Then I'll pray. I've been raised a Muggle. I'll focus my love on him. It should reach him, wherever he is."

Albus had a warm look for her. "You do that. If anything happens, I want you to inform me at once. Fawkes will stay with you and keep you company."

She rose from her seat. The phoenix went to perch himself on Lorena's shoulder. He trilled a few notes and she felt better.

"One last thing, Lorena," the Headmaster said. "Use your music as a way to focus. Remember that music is also a very powerful magic in its own right."

Lorena turned her face to the old man. She could not see how worried he was but she had felt it. "I will, Professor. I will. Every thing I do, I'll do it… for Severus."

"Lorena… Does Severus know about your love ?"

"Yes, I told him that I love him. Yet, I don't know if he understood what I meant. He's so… reserved, so private, I perceived this would be too much to handle for him. Well, I don't know exactly but I felt it like this that I should just tell him that I have feelings for him, that… he means something to me."

Albus nodded. "I understand. Your secret is safe with me, up to the moment that you'll be ready to reveal it to him fully."

"Thank you, Professor, for your understanding."

She left his office, the red and gold bird on her shoulder. Albus Dumbledore remained thoughtful for long minutes. He wondered how lucky Severus was to have earned such a love. And he felt sad for his friend to know that he may not live to enjoy it for the rest of his days.

I have always been fascinated by the love magic Lily had invoked to protect her son Harry just before she died. Surely one of the most beautiful ideas JKR had in her works. A universal idea. I used it there, this time from one lover to another - but I'm sure it is the same logic and magic at work.

"Remembrances" is a marvelous piece of work part of the soundtrack of the movie Schindler's List. The piece is played by Itzhak Perlman on the violin. I thought it suited Lorena's mood while she was waiting for Severus to come back hopefully alive. It sure suited mine while I was writing this chapter. I write my stories like a movie, imagining the action and hearing the music playing in the background at the same time.

Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !