Chapter 26
Boz sees Sean and Sherry having an early dinner together in the cafeteria. "Hey guys, what's up?"
"Hey Boz, how's it going?"
"Well, mom is still trying to work something out with the bank, but we're still in the house."
"I'm sure everything will work out," Sherry said.
"So how's our star resident's doing?" Boz asks.
"Who?"
"Spencer and Ashley," Boz said.
"Oh! Spencer is doing great. She can maneuver herself from wheelchair to bed even better than before. She has really built up her upper torso."
"That's great what about Ashley?"
"She's much better today, more cooperative about her exercises," Sean said. "Maybe Dr. Taylor will be able to help her psychologically."
"What?! Did I miss something? What are you talking about psychologically?"
"She's seeing a psychiatrist Boz, didn't you read your memo? You of all people should have known that, especially since it's your therapy session time being taken for her to see Dr. Taylor."
"She's seeing a psychiatrist. No I've been so busy with my mom's bank problems I guess I forgot to look at the mail in my box," Boz said dumbfounded.
"But you've taken the time to read both their progress notes and you weren't even assigned to them this week."
"Um… yeah, well I got to go. I have a resident waiting for me. See you guys later."
"That's strange," Sherry said.
"What?"
"Why is Boz asking about Spencer and Ashley? And how come he read the progress notes on them but not read his memo? Boz has never been that sloppy."
"Well you know he's worried about his mother and her on the verge of losing her home. But as far as asking about Spencer and Ashley you know he always asks about the residents and how their therapy's going whether he's assigned to them or not," Sean said.
"Yeah but this is the third time he's asked me about Spencer and Ashley and I know he knows what's going on because I saw him reading both their progress notes just an hour ago."
"Hmm, he's never done that before. Well I'm sure it's nothing."
/
"So Ashley, tell me how do you feel after taking your pain meds just now?"
"I'm still in pain."
"You want some more pain medication?"
"Yes, but you know I can't have anymore. Aiden needs to increase the milligrams or up the dosage, which I asked him to do but he refused to do it."
"You do realize you're on the highest dosage for that particular drug, don't you Ashley?"
"YES! I realize that. I am a doctor… Dr. Taylor."
"Yes you are Ashley, so why don't you just let him change your medication to something else. Obviously your meds are not working as effectively as they should."
"NO! I like what I'm already on, there's very little side effects involved."
"Are you worried about the side effects or that you'll be taking a medication that no one else is getting?"
"WHAT! What are you talking about?"
"Well if he changes your meds and no one else is on the same meds as you, than you can't go steal the other resident's pain meds."
"DR. TAYLOR! I've already admitted to taking a few pills. I have no intentions of doing it again. Why do you keep insisting that my meds be changed?"
"Because I believe you are going to do it again. Ashley it's not that easy to get off the amount of medicine that you have been taking. Don't you still have pain in your hand?"
"Yeah, so what!?"
"So your pain hasn't gone away, why should your addiction? I know you believe in your mind that you won't steal anymore pain medications, but after you've suffered a day, just one day with the pain you'll be back looking for extra meds for relief."
Ashley remained silent, staring at Dr. Taylor.
"I'm going to recommend Dr. Dennison change your meds…"
"WHAT!... NOOOO! What do you know about what I'm going through? I am in constant pain and I'm depressed. You can't understand how I feel. How could you? I was a surgeon, a damn good one. Now I can't even hold a damn pencil between my fingers, let alone feel my fingers holding it. I have someone in my life that I'm in love, whose paralyzed from the waist down and I can't even feel the touch of her skin. I need my fingertips to feel. I know you understand how important touch is, when you're making love to a paraplegic? I'm just so fucking frustrated," Ashley said, as she lowered her head in despair.
"This is good Ashley, you vent as much as you want? Because I'm here for you, don't shut me out. I want to hear about everything that's hurting you. I want to know where your mind is at, especially at this point in your physical therapy."
"I'm good Dr. Taylor, I don't know how this is going to work out between us when you can't possibly understand what I'm going through," Ashley said calmly.
"Okay, maybe I should tell you a little about myself Ashley. I do know how you feel. I was in your shoes about ten years ago."
"Hmm! What do you mean in my shoes?"
"I was a surgeon just like you, a well known and highly respected surgeon. I only did surgeries. I wasn't a dual physician like you. Surgery was my life. I was doing five to seven surgeries a day. The hospital felt I was doing too many surgeries and no time in between to rest so they told me to take a vacation. I hadn't had a vacation in years. So I took one. I went to visit my parents on their farm in Ohio. I had been there for three days, bored to death from the lack of activity, so I got up one morning and went out into the fields to help my brothers with the corn crop and the corn feeder jammed.
We tried everything to get that feeder free without putting our hands in it. But nothing worked. My brother said he could see what was jamming it and all he had to do was get his hand through the blades and pull it out. I told him not to do it. It was too dangerous, anything could happen so I went to get a pick from the barn, while my other brother went to get our father. While we were gone my brother decided to put his hand in the machine anyway and got it stuck between the blades. There was no way to get his hand loose without me putting my hand in the feeder to get his hand out. I had just gotten his hand free when the blades turned severing three of my finger on my right hand.
They retrieved the fingers from the machine and reattached them back on but it took to long retrieving the fingers and doing the surgery. The tendons in the fingers were too damaged and the tendon transplant didn't work either. I was devastated of course. I knew it was the end of my surgical career and I stayed in pain for a year. I couldn't eat, sleep or do my therapy because of the pain I was in. I was angry and I started taking more pain medication just to get some relief or so I told myself. I didn't have a medicine cart to steal the meds. I instead went into my doctor's office, went into his desk and took a few blank prescriptions, wrote my own medication and preceded to forged his name to get the medication.
When I took all that medication I felt no pain. I didn't care if I couldn't do surgery anymore, I was floating on cloud nine… everyday. But I became a mess physically and emotional. My husband left me and the hospital told me to take a leave of absence and get myself together or the hospital board would have the state revoke my medical license. I still didn't care, I couldn't operate anymore. If I couldn't be a surgeon, what was the point of even having a license? Than I met Aiden, he literally saved my life. He told me just because I couldn't do surgery anymore didn't mean I couldn't do something else in the medical field. My mind was closed to other positions in the medical field. I was a surgeon, that's all. There was no other position's to consider as far as I was concerned. But I thought about what he had said, so I got off the drugs with the help of a wonderful and very understanding psychologist, who was very patient with me. I realized there were more people out there like me, professional and unprofessional that needed helped too. So I went back to school, got the essential hours I needed to become board certified in psychiatry and here I am helping people in situations like you and I, comfortably deal with changes in their lives after a life altering accident."
"I'm… sorry Dr. Taylor, I didn't know," Ashley said tears falling from her eyes.
"Let me help you Ashley."
/
The next day Boz was Ashley's physical therapist. "So how are you today Ashley?"
"I feel good today Boz. Where is Sean today?"
"He had to check in a couple of new resident's, so I'm your therapist for today. I see you've been doing your exercises."
"Yes, hurts like hell but I'm managing."
"Dr. Dennison wants to see how much you can squeeze on these hand grips. It measures the progression and success of your therapy. Let's start with your right hand. Now see if you can squeeze the hand grip close. Great, you're able to close the hand grip all the way. I don't see any limitations with your right hand. Now let's try it with your left hand. Okay Ashley you can start."
"I have started, Boz." Ashley said struggling.
"Harder Ashley the hand grip hasn't budged."
"I'm trying but it's making my hand hurt."
"Keep going you've only squeezed it to the halfway point."
"Ugh! I can't squeeze anymore, my hand is hurting too badly."
"Okay Ashley, that's enough for today. Just continue squeezing the rubberball throughout the day. You'll have the same exercise tomorrow. You get a bonus today though. Both hands will get a medicated whirlpool bath today for fifteen minutes."
"Oh wow Boz, I'm so ecstatic," Ashley said unenthused.
/
Spencer was just starting her therapy in the exercise room with Sherry. "So, Sherry what are these lifts supposed to do?" Spencer asked, while she layed on her back.
"Well your muscles need to be stretched and worked as if you were walking. See I have to twist each foot backward, forward and side to side as if you were walking. Than lift and bend each leg towards your upper body to stimulate a walking sensation. Your lower limbs need to be stretched so they don't shrink. Than I'll turn you over and massage your back."
"How many times do I get this exercise?"
"Dr. Dennison wants you to have it three times a week. How are you feeling?"
"Good I guess, but it must be my imagination because I swear I can feel a little pressure on my legs when you lifted them."
"You feel something Spencer."
"Um, I thought I did but now I don't. Wishful thinking I guess."
"Well this is your therapy for today, just close your eyes and relax. You still have thirty minutes to go. This exercise is forty-five minutes long, so relax."
"Okay Sherry, wake me when you need me," Spencer said laughing.
Sherry worked with Spencer's legs for twenty minutes. "Spencer…" "hmm!"
"I need you to turn over on your stomach so I can start massaging your back and the back of your legs."
"Okay Sherry."
As Sherry works her way down from Spencer's lower back to her upper thighs, Spencer moans. She was unaware she had moaned but Sherry heard her. Sherry massaged down her leg, Spencer was quiet. She went back up her leg massaging the upper area again and Spencer moaned again. This time Spencer did hear herself.
"Sherry?"
"I heard you Spencer… twice. Do you feel this?"
"Yes. It's not very strong, but I feel something."
"Okay let me go get Dr. Dennison so he can examine you. No, on second thought, I'll have him paged instead. I don't want to leave you on the table alone." Reaching for the phone on the wall, Sherry calls the receptionist. "Hello Denise, it's Sherry, please page Dr. Dennison. I need him come to the exercise room right away."
/
"Good morning Ashley, I thought we could change our sessions to morning since I'm actually passing by the Center at that time. It's on my way to my office. Is the morning okay for you?"
"Sure I guess I usually have breakfast with Spencer and than therapy. But she'll understand, we'll just have lunch and dinner together."
"Good because I've already talked to Aiden about the change. He said he would inform his staff of the change because it does interrupt one of your physical therapy sessions. Now, you've mentioned Spencer before, who is Spencer? Do you mind talking about this Spencer?"
"No, I don't mind, what can I say about her. She's my world, my rock, she's wonderful," Ashley said with a dreamy look in her eyes and a big wide grin that made her nose crinkle. The expression did not go unnoticed by Dr. Taylor. She would have had to been blind not to have seen it, she thought inwardly laughing.
"So you like her a lot? You did say she didn't you?"
"Yes, I'm gay Dr. Taylor. Didn't Aiden tell you?"
"No, but it's okay please continue."
"Spencer is my life now, she holds my heart."
"Where did you meet her?"
"She was actually a patient of mine. Until I realized I had fallen in love with her."
"Wow!"
"Yeah, I know a little unethical… right, but I couldn't stop my feelings. It just happened. She's paralyzed from the waist down from an accident she was in. I did an experimental surgery on her to see if we could get her to walk again."
"Did you?"
"It started to work, than she had an accident here at the Center and I had to do surgery again." Ashley took a deep breath, "she was my last surgery."
"You want to talk about your accident?"
"Accident, it wasn't an accident it was an ex lover getting revenge against me for leaving her and moving on to Spencer. You see the ex lover and I were friends with benefits. But when I fell in love with Spencer, I stopped seeing her and that's when all hell broke loose. The ex lover wouldn't let go."
"Let's talk about your accident Ashley."