Chapter Twenty Six

Previously: Victoria wasn't blind; she could see how stiff Heath was, how uncomfortable he still was. She felt a twinge of regret once more, though she was more than excited he was willing to sit down and talk with her. Slowly she nodded and agreed. "We'll talk later." She smiled and walked out of the room; Nick and Sarah-who grudgingly admitted she needed to go eat something-followed as Heath walked over and sat down next to Jarrod.

~oOo~

Heath picked up Jarrod's right hand and turned it palm up. He couldn't help but allow a small crooked smile to appear on his face as he remembered how many times he and Nick had teased Jarrod about his lily white hands. His smile then disappeared as he set his brother's hand back down and began talking, keeping his eyes on Jarrod's face. "I'm sorry, Jarrod. Not for being angry at how you and your mother handled the various incidences I laid into you about, but for the way I handled your appearance here in Martinsdale. I'm a grown man and I reacted quite badly." Heath sighed as his mind turned back the clock. "When I first joined the family, I told myself it I just needed to give us all time, time to get to know each other. Then, as time went on, I started growing tired, even more so as I felt who I was start to disappear." He stopped talking, stood up and, turning around, walked over to the window. Looking out the window, Heath could see a few people walking down the main street of Martinsdale. "I love cattle; I love the life on a ranch and love working on one." He turned and walked back to his brother's bed. "But I allowed the side of me that liked the life of a lawman to disappear; it's a working ranch after all. Not that I'm blaming anyone but myself for allowing that to happen, I'm not."

Heath sighed and, leaning his back against the bedroom wall, he quietly said, "Bentell and Anders were just the last straws, even if I did know you meant well. I never really forgave Bentell like you and mother thought. I didn't do that until after I moved here, found myself again and married Hope. She listened; I mean, really listened to me. I can say now I actually pity Matt Bentell. He will never be able to stay very long in one place, not really. He'll constantly move out of fear men, prisoners like me, will recognize him…and they won't stop and think about the hell that was created on both sides of the war. In a way, Gil Anders is in the same boat; he's always wronging somebody and, someday, somebody will give it back to him."

Heath shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "You can't die, Jarrod. You can't leave without being told I don't hate you. You need to be told that I admit that I was just as much in the wrong when I chose to leave the way I did. There was blame on both sides, not just one." Heath then fell into silence as he sat back down and, clasping his hands together, hung his head.

Jarrod wasn't really sure when he started hearing Heath's voice, but by the time his blonde haired brother finished talking and hung his head Jarrod was very well aware of Heath's voice. He had also heard the majority of the words Heath had spoken. By the time Heath finished speaking, Jarrod would have jumped for joy if he could have. As it was, he struggled to open his eyes, and it was a struggle. Heath's head was still bowed when Jarrod won the fight to rejoin the living. He felt his heart go out to his brother and he slowly, painstakingly moved his hand from his side over to Heath. When he managed to slide his hand over Heath's, Heath's head shot up. "Jarrod! You're awake!" He leaned forward and, automatically, felt Jarrod's forehead. He couldn't help but frown; Jarrod's forehead was still slightly warm.

"From the way I feel, I might just go back to sleep. What happened?" Jarrod asked. "I mean, besides admitting we're all at fault for the damaged bridges?"

Damaged bridges? Heath frowned slightly until he realized what Jarrod was saying. "The stagecoach you were on had an accident." Heath went onto tell Jarrod the results of the accident, just how long he'd been out, and that the family was in Martinsdale. Heath wasn't surprised when Jarrod stiffened and concern filled his eyes. "Nick had to send for them." Heath shrugged. "You've given everyone quite a scare. I'll go get Sarah and Victoria." He started to rise only to have Jarrod tap his finger on Heath's hand.

"You had your say, now I want mine." Jarrod said quietly, even as his eyes began fluttering slightly.

Heath instantly grew worried. "It seems like you need to get some more sleep. I should get Sarah or Victoria." He said as he sat down.

Jarrod gave Heath a small smile as he closed his eyes and then opened them up again. "No, I need to have my say first." He saw the concern in Heath's eyes grow. Jarrod hurried to assure his blonde haired brother that he had no inkling he had to talk to Heath due to feeling like his, Jarrod's, time on earth was drawing to a close. "I just want us to finish this talk here and now, before I go to sleep." Which was something Jarrod knew he would be doing sooner than he'd like,

Heath didn't argue; he simply nodded, remained quiet and waited.

"I didn't mean to send the message I was your father figure, though I can see how that was sent." Jarrod kept his eyes on Heath's, wanting his brother to know how serious he was. "I only wanted what was best for you, the same I want it for Nick and the others. You need to understand, by the time you joined the family I'd been 'Pappy' for six years. Audra and Eugene know I'm their older brother, but often times it was still my place to back mother up on their discipline and such. And," Jarrod paused and sighed, "As mature and responsible as Nick is, you know how impulsive he can be. I can't tell you how many times I've had to step in and handle some situation he'd gotten himself into." Jarrod's eyes started to close, "You are my brother; I was simply…." His voice started to fade and he struggled to finish.

"You simply treated me as you had the others, not stopping to think a full grown man who barely knew you would balk at it." Heath gave his brother a crooked smile and then urged Jarrod to stop fighting the sleep that wanted to come. "We'll talk more later."

"What about mother?" Jarrod's question was a bare whisper, and he never got an answer as he drifted off to sleep.

After checking to make sure Jarrod was indeed only resting, Heath leaned back in the chair and asked himself the same question. After all, he had told Victoria the two of them needed to talk.