I do not own anything from the Host, it's all owned by Stephenie Meyer. I'm just using her characters for my imagination :)
Chapter 26.
After I say goodbye to everyone, we go up the stairs, to the garage. Nick and Burns are taking us. They blindfold us both and we go to our home. My home for the time being. It's evening, that gives Will and me time to work on our story before we go outside tomorrow. Will takes me inside and shows me the bedroom.
"This will be your bedroom, I'll remove my stuff as soon as I get the chance."
"You don't have to do that."
Will looks at me. "You want to both sleep in this room?"
"No!" I take a breath. "No, that's not what I meant. This is your room. You don't have to leave it for me. I'll be fine in the guest room. Really, I insist."
Will shows me the guest room and we head back down.
"Do you want something to eat?"
I skipped dinner at the bunker, so yes, I do. Will makes us both dinner and then we sit down.
"So, what's the story?" I ask Will.
"We're going to pretend to be partners. Even before we were on this world. The story is that we were partners on the Singing World. You left there before I did. When I got to this world, I knew you had to be doing something with your love for music. My Host is a trained dancer and I assumed you would be as well. I found you in another town, where you were giving a performance. You realized it is me and came here with me. My neighbours know that I was out of town. Since it was dark, we will just say that we arrived late in the evening – which we just did."
"So, you are working as a dancer?"
"Yes, I both perform and teach. I would like you to come teach as well, but if you'd prefer just to perform, that's okay."
"I'll teach. I've taught before, not in dance, but still. I'd like to teach."
"Perfect. Is there anything else you'd like to know now?"
"No, I'm just tired. I'll help you with the dishes and then I'm off to bed."
We take the plates and wash them up. I see Will has a dishwasher, but neither of us seems to mind doing the dishes by hand. I tell Will goodnight and head to my room. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.
I've been working at the studio for a week now. The first day at the dance studio felt a bit strange. I felt nervous. I was afraid I would give something away. And even though he is treating me with a lot of respect, it felt strange pretending to be Will's partner. The looks he gives me… But this arrangement isn't for long and I just keep in mind that I'll be able to hold Ian again soon. So I went into the studio, Will introduced me and we started teaching together. Both he and the students were happy that he had a dancing partner to help instruct now, it made things easier. And I love the dancing! The teaching as well. It's so satisfying to do. If this would have been the first body I got when I arrived at this world, I believe I still would have done this.
I'm meeting a lot of new Souls. Will introduced me to some sympathizers as well. There are more than I expected.
In the evening we invite other Souls over, usually small groups. If we invite four people, at least two of them are also sympathizers. And then we try to find out how the other two people feel about the humans. Are they just scared of the humans? Are they really against the humans? We have to be careful about it. If we talk to the wrong person, they could still easily send Seekers at us. But since we are all Souls, the chance of Seekers actually thinking that we would do harm, isn't a real threat. If they would come asking questions, we could just pretend that all we do is pity the humans, feel sorry for them. Will and I never bring up to anyone that we know that there are still humans. The only Souls that do know about that, have heard from Nick or Burns.
The two of them are really the ones in the most danger. When Will and I came out of the bunker, we still didn't know where we came from. I still don't know the location of the bunker. I know there are humans. But I don't know where they are. Burns and Nick are still the only ones that do. So if we got caught at it, the two of them would be in the most danger. Well, them, but the humans even more.
I'm staying with Will for a week now. Just like in the bunker, I take time alone to dance. I'm in the studio almost all the time. Practicing solo's, trying to find out how to explain certain moves in the lessons. This evening, he comes up to me. We had dinner at the house and then I left for the studio. During dinner, he kept looking at me with his intense look. For the week I have been here, he hasn't done anything wrong. He's been friendly, polite and – like he felt I need it – kept his distance from me. But he's always looking at me so intensely. It gives me a weird feeling. And then I feel a bit guilty for that feeling. Maybe he's just really engaged in all conversations he has. That he just gives you his full attention whenever he is talking to you. But it's still there, the feeling. I can't shake it off completely, it got worse when I caught him looking at me at other times as well. In class, it makes sense, when you dance together, you look at each other. When I am instructing the group, everyone looks at me, so of course he does at well. But when we have guests, I catch him looking at me as well.
"I would like to practice the duet that we're going to teach the class tomorrow."
I nod at him, change the music and then we start to dance. As always, I get lost in the dance. I feel like I'm flying. Dancing solo makes me feel good, but dancing with a partner makes me feel great. We go through the dance once. Will points out the hard bits and suggests we do it again, so we do the routine again. When we finish the routine, I'm out of breath, I want to let go and step back, but Will doesn't let go. I look up at him and he is looking at me intensely. And then his eyes close and his head comes down. He's going to kiss me! I can't step back, he's holding me too tight, but I manage to turn my head and he kisses my cheek.
"What are you doing!"
I take a few steps back from him, but he just walks with me.
"Wanderer, we would be perfect together. I'm a much better fit for you than that human is."
"You say 'human' like it's a bad thing."
I walk to the other side of the room and this time he stays where he is.
"Humans aren't bad. But I do think a Soul should be with another Soul. You don't have to change yourself for me. I have seen you this week, you looked happy with me."
"I'm happy because of the dancing, Will. I'm happy because I get to walk outside. I'm happy because of the teaching."
"Because of the interaction you have with other Souls! Don't tell me you haven't missed that."
"I won't. I am happy to have interaction, but it doesn't matter to me that they are Souls. I was just as happy with the humans, the only difference was that I was hiding and now I'm not."
"Wanderer."
Will takes another step towards me again.
"Please don't Will, I'm with Ian. Do not make this any harder."
"You seemed happy, you seemed to like me."
"I do like you, but I'm not in love with you."
Have I led him on? I don't believe I have. I haven't treated him any different than I treated Nick or Burns, or any of the humans at the bunker. I can't imagine him thinking that I encouraged this.
"Wanda, like I said, with me, you could be yourself. You don't have to change yourself. I am of your kind."
"I don't change myself for Ian. You want me to change myself for you! This past week, I may have seemed happy, but I missed the interaction with humans. I missed that humans do disagree on things. The disagreeing, the sarcasm, the conflicts, it's what make things real, more worth it. We Souls, we always get along, we don't think about ourselves. But with the humans, I realised that because of the bad things, we appreciate the good a lot more. Because of the hurt, the love feels so much more intense and better. And you want me to give that up. You want me to change. You insist on calling me Wanderer, I have told you a number of times, my name is Wanda. And you don't want Wanda, you want Wanderer. That's not me."
Will looks at me with a pained expression on his face.
"You don't know. You haven't lived with the humans. Because of your goodness, your kindness, you believe they should have their world back, or at least, that we should share it. But you don't truly understand what it is to be human. And I don't blame you for it, of course you don't. But I do. I am changed, from within. I didn't change myself for the humans, I changed because of them."
Now he looks defeated, he's looking at the floor.
"I'm so sorry, Wanderer."
"Wanda."
His head snaps up.
"Wanda. Of course."
Will walks past me and goes to the house. I keep looking at him until he is inside. Just as I want to turn around, I see someone walking up to the front door.
"Burns!"
He turns around and smiles at me.
"Hey Wanda, I'm here for you."
When I reach him, he lowers his voice.
"How would you like to go home for a few hours?"
I don't think he knows how right he is in what he just said. Home. I'm going to see Ian!
"You have no idea. Let me just change into other clothes, I just finished dancing."
Burns and I walk in together, Will comes out of the kitchen. I leave the two of them to talk and run upstairs to change. When I get back down, Will wishes me good night, I will see him in the morning. Burns takes me to the car and blindfolds me, I still can't know the location of the bunker.
"As you know, it isn't a long ride, Wanda."
We sit in silence as we ride.
"I'm sorry, Wanda, I have to ask, is Will feeling sick? Or is there anything else wrong? He was quiet when you were upstairs changing, but also, the way you parted, it seemed a bit awkward."
I explain to Burns what happened and he stays silent. I can't see him, so I can't read his expression trying to find out more about what he's thinking. He stops the car.
"Here we are, you can take that off."
I take off the blindfold, Burns has already left the car. He opens my door, takes my arm and steadies me. He looks me in the eyes.
"I'm sorry for what happened with Will. I'll discuss it with Nick and Jared right away. I'm not taking you back there tomorrow."
Before I can even respond, he opens the door and we walk down the stairs. It's late, but the sitting area seems to be full with the people I love. Jamie, Jared, Melanie, Jodi and Kyle… I don't see Ian at first sight, so I want to turn. But before I can move, I get pulled into those arms. Those arms I know so well.
My love.