Fates Entwined
Strangers in the Night
"So, Mr. DeMartino, how did you end up in this location?" asked Upchuck.
Both Beavis and Butt-head looked at each other and then towards DeMartino. The two of them had no idea who the older man was but given how Upchuck seemed to know who he was, they were somewhat willing to listen.
"Well, as you probably ALREADY know," DeMArtino answered. "I was, uh, looking FORWARD to the end of the YEAR when I'd have some PEACE and quiet… then all of SUDDEN… Armageddon."
"Yes, I don't think a single person missed it," Upchuck nodded. "These two guys survived the whole ordeal and traveled with Daria all the way here."
"So, who are THESE two guys?" asked DeMartino.
"I'm Beavis, nice to meet you, heh heh!"
"And I'm Butt-head, huh huh huh!"
"I see," DeMartino acknowledged. "So you two know DARIA, huh?"
"Yeah, we grew up with her," admitted Butt-head.
"She was, like, the only chick besides Cassandra who would talk to us," admitted Beavis.
Butt-head smacked Beavis.
"Ow!" Beavis complained. "What's your problem, fartknocker?!"
"Damn it Beavis!" Butt-head chastise. "We talked to more chicks than just two!"
"Yeah, but, like, Daria was one of the few who'd actually find us and talk to us," Beavis rubbed his head.
"Hmm, you two must be special if Daria came to you for conversations," Upchuck looked thoughtful. "I've had no such luck in terms of that feisty girl seeking me out."
"Yeah, you know, Daria WAS always one of my better students," DeMartino admitted. "If she went OUT of her way to TALK to you, then MAYBE you boys are alright…"
"Yeah, we're pretty awesome," Beavis smiled, enjoying every moment of his ego being stroked.
"So how'd you end up in a place like this?" Upchuck asked.
"Well, uh, you know," DeMartino looked a bit nervous. "I knew my way AROUND this part of town."
"So you live in this area?" asked Upchuck.
"Well, not exactly," admitted the former teacher. "Though I have to admit I do reside in this area now."
"Were you in the neighborhood when the apocalypse happened?" Upchuck pressed on.
"Uh, no?" Anthony DeMartino looked up and down nervously.
"He was here for the porn," Butt-head deduced easily. "Uh, huh huh huh huh huh!"
"Yeah, I bet even teachers sometimes need to boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!" Beavis laughed. "Heh heh heh heh heh!"
"Okay fine," DeMartino confessed with some embarrassment. "Guilty as charged."
"Yeah, the truth will, like, set you free or something," added Beavis. "Heh heh heh!"
"Well, no judgment from any of us young virile men here," Upchuck smiled. "If you gotta have an outlet, you gotta have an outlet."
"Yeah, just be sure not to flog the dolphin in front of us, huh huh huh!" chuckled Butt-head.
"Good thing for us is that this place is a virtual treasure trove!" Upchuck told his companions.
"Well," DeMartino seemed to relax some. "I guess I can MAKE this place home sweet HOME after a while."
oooo
"Oh dear, I wonder what Janet is doing," Timothy O'Neill paced back and forth nervously.
"Calm down, would ya Mr. O'Neill?" Robert asked. "We're about to attack soon."
Timothy finally stopped pacing and faced Robert. At this point he was still nervous that Janet had gone off on her own to deal with a few of the Highland survivors. Even when he was near Lawndale High with a virtual army of Lawndale people, he couldn't stop thinking about the woman he loved.
"I'm sorry Robert," Timothy confessed. "You know how I feel right now."
"Quit worrying, Mr. O," Robert insisted. "Ms. Barch knows what she's doing. I don't think a couple of horndogs from out of state and one from in-state will be a problem for her."
O'Neill looked around. Almost everybody else was ready with their pitchforks, knives, shovels, and sticks. Certainly the people in town were ready to carry out the will of Angra Mainyu.
"Remember Robert," O'Neill reminded the younger man. "These people do have guns."
"Yeah, but overwhelming numbers should do the trick," Robert said cockily. "Just let me do my thing."
"Well, okay I suppose," Timothy finally relented. "Just… make it quick, okay?"
"Sure," Robert said absent-mindedly and went back to command the mob.
oooo
"Looks bad, doesn't it?" Tom peered through a window in the darkened high school room as he and the Highland survivors strategized together.
"I'll say," Buzzcut acknowledged. "We'll pick off plenty of them… but their numbers are more than ours."
"Number one advantage?" Daria looked up at Anderson and Buzzcut. "We've got the firearms advantage. We're lucky to be in an area of town that isn't real big on gun ownership."
Daria looked through the window again as the mob moved in on the school, towards the front entrance. They were certainly out for blood tonight. And though she would not openly admit it, Daria was torn deep down.
While she never cared for the materialism and the monotonous suburban existence of Lawndale, these were still her townsfolk. She really didn't want to have to fight or kill any of them, even out of necessity. Right now she was in a precarious situation. She didn't desire to fight any of her current townsfolk… but she couldn't allow them to kill the former townsfolk she had from Highland.
"Alright Daria, we'll do things your way," Tom Anderson told her. "But if the going gets rough, we'll have no choice but to open fire."
"Thanks Mr. Anderson," Daria told him.
"Daria, I understand your situation," Cassandra told her. "Having to go up against the people that you live with can't be an easy task."
"You're right," admitted Daria, looking out towards the mob. "Some of those people I know and I'd hate to have to fight any of them."
"Well, good thing we still have a trump card," Tom glanced briefly at Tom Anderson.
"Yeah, but will it work?" Daria asked herself aloud.
"It better," Buzzcut told her. "But just in case it doesn't, we'll still have to keep all options on the table."
"I guess so," Daria looked down ruefully.
Stewart looked at her sympathetically. However, he soon realized that something was missing from the scene.
"Uh, guys," Stewart said aloud. "Has anyone here seen Beavis and Butt-head?"
oooo
Meanwhile back at the porn factory, everybody there was having a grand old time.
"Wow, would ya look at the hooters on this babe!" Anthony DeMartino gasped, holding a magazine sideways.
"This place really is cool," Beavis looked at Butt-head. "All the porn to last us a lifetime!"
"Yeah, huh huh huh!"
"You know, when I was still a teacher, being around students could be the most frustrating part of my day," admitted DeMartino. "But now that I'm really getting to know some of you for the first time outside of school, being around you kids ain't so bad after all!"
"What kind of teacher were you?" asked Beavis.
"He was our history teacher," Upchuck informed the duo.
"Uh, our history teacher Buzzcut was always yelling at us," Butt-head recalled. "Oh yeah, and he would kick our asses too, huh huh huh!"
"Really now?" Upchuck was surprised. "And this Buzzcut never got disciplined?"
Before Butt-head could respond, there was a loud noise somewhere across the factory, as if somebody was banging on the door to break it down.
"What the hell?" DeMartino looked surprised.
"Funny, I thought nobody knew we were at this location," Upchuck frowned. "Stay here, everyone. I'll go check it out."
Upchuck got up and left the room to go check out the source of the disturbance. Anthony DeMartino looked at the duo.
"So, where did you BOYS say you came from AGAIN?" asked DeMartino.
"Uh, we're from this place called Highland in Texas," Butt-head answered. "Daria used to live there with us before she moved, huh huh huh!"
"Well, if a place LIKE Highland can produce a GREAT mind like Daria, I IMAGINE you boys are cut FROM the same cloth?"
"Yeah, we're pretty smart, heh heh heh!" Beavis chuckled.
"Aaaaahhh!" a loud scream was heard.
"What… what was THAT?" DeMartino got up.
DeMartino opened up the door and headed outside. He was soon followed by the more curious Beavis and Butt-head.
When Mr. DeMartino got to the middle of the factory and saw the source of the disturbance, he paused, realizing what kind a predicament he was in.
"Aw, fishsticks," DeMartino gulped.
"Hello Anthony," Janet Barch stood there with a nearby door busted down and her holding an unconscious Upchuck sporting a black eye by the collar. "Long time no see…"
"Hey Beavis, it's that old chick," Butt-head whispered to his companion.
Barch threw the unconscious Upchuck to the floor.
"I came a long way to see you boys," Barch grinned sadistically. "Hope you can make time for a lady entering into your all-male safe space!"
oooo
"Hold it right there!" Tom Anderson was the first to step outside the school with his shotgun. "Come any closer and I'll make mincemeat outta you!"
Soon, Daria and Buzzcut followed up, training their weapons on the Lawndale mob that had assembled at the school. By the looks of it, they were all out for blood.
"Daria Morgendorffer," Robert stepped out. "Such a shame you're associated with these people."
"Why's that?" asked Daria.
"Because, the great god Angra Mainyu has ordered these outsiders slaughtered!"
"Well, technically, not all of us are outsiders," Tom corrected him. "Kevin and I are also both from Lawndale."
"Okay, well, uh, I was told only Daria gets a chance to live!" Robert replied in frustration. "The rest of you are disposable!"
"Yes Daria," Timothy O'Neill stepped forth. "Janet did want you to receive the offer of being Angra Mainyu's servant."
As Timothy took one extra step forward, he stepped on something on the ground that felt a bit harder than dirt with a clicking sound.
"Oh my, what's this?" Timothy looked down.
"Congratulations Mr. O'Neill," Daria smirked. "You just stepped on a landmine from the Korean War."
"I… what?!" Timothy looked like he was about to freak out.
The rest of the Lawndale mob also looked about nervously, muttering to themselves in great consternation. Meanwhile, Daria and Tom Anderson exchanged knowing glances. Beforehand, Anderson had removed the actual bomb from the landmine and the one Mr. O'Neill was standing on now was an empty one with no real boom to it.
"I figured that would get your attention," Daria told the crowd. "Now, are all of you ready to talk instead of going on a lynching spree?"
The crowd looked at each other nervously. None of them wanted to be blown sky high and either die or get maimed badly.
"Well, uh, I wasn't really planning on this," Robert scratched his head, realizing that fulfilling Barch's request wouldn't be so easy after all.
Daria walked towards the middle of both crowds to address her Lawndale townsfolk.
"Listen everybody, I know I've been away from Lawndale for a while, but this isn't like you to turn into a bloodthirsty mob," Daria told them. "I know this isn't what you're like deep down. Sure I may have left some of you flustered with snide, passive-aggressive remarks in the past, but you're not the monsters that Angra Mainyu is trying to turn you into."
She turned towards Robert.
"Robert," she addressed the young man. "I got to first know you when Quinn tried setting us up on a botched date. You became friends with Ted, the man I fell in love with later. You and Kevin were teammates for the Lawndale Lions. Yeah, maybe you guys got into scuffles sometimes but beyond that, you always had each other's backs."
"Well, yeah, I guess you're right," Robert conceded but then looked surprised. "Wait, you and Ted got together?"
"Long story," Daria replied. "Maybe some other time."
As Robert fell into silence and shame, Daria noticed a family in the crowd she recognized.
"And you," Daria pointed out. "Coyote and Willow… you were both friends to my parents. You lived with them in a hippie commune that taught the message of love and peace. How could you possibly join a frenzied mob dedicated to the worship of a demon god? How far are you willing to go with this? By sacrificing each other or your son Ethan to join the people on the other side?"
The Yeager family looked at each other sadly and quietly lowered their heads. They too were forced to acknowledge the truth of Daria's words.
Looking around, Daria also spotted a familiar redheaded woman in the audience, a former Lawndale teacher Claire Defoe who was holding a knife in her hand.
"Miss Defoe," Daria addressed the woman. "You were the one teacher who helped nurse the talents of my best friend Jane. Your love of art really helped the two of you bond. Would Jane really forgive you if the blood of myself and all my other friends were on your hands?"
"I… I… no," Claire sighed, dropping her knife.
"This isn't like any of you to turn to violent murder," Daria told her townsfolk. "Sure some of you may be a bit materialistic and class-conscious but you're mostly good people."
"Well," Coyote Yeager stepped forth and dropped his weapon. "You're right, Daria. Ever since this town literally went to hell in a handbasket, we haven't been ourselves."
Daria looked behind her. Both Buzzcut and Tom Anderson were noticeably less tense now.
Meanwhile, Robert walked up to Kevin.
"So, uh, Kevin, are we still friends?" asked Robert.
"You kidding me?" Kevin reached out and gave Robert a hug. "Of course we are!"
"Yeah, sorry for trying to come over to kill you guys and all," Robert apologized.
"You're right Daria," Claire Defoe walked up to Daria. "I'm sorry. This isn't what Jane would want."
"Wow, good job Daria," Tom complimented.
Buzzcut and Van Driessen were noticeably impressed as well.
"She always was my favorite student back at Highland," Buzzcut nodded approvingly.
"Well, it looks like this tale of two cities has a positive outcome," Van Driessen agreed. "If there was anyone who could bridge her past life with her present one, it would be her."
"Robert," Daria went up to Kevin's fellow football teammate. "Tell me something. Where's Ms. Barch?"
"Well, uh, she did kind of order me to slaughter you guys," Robert scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry about that, by the way."
"No harm no foul," Daria shrugged. "Anyways, about Barch…"
"Oh yeah, she said something about going off to kill Upchuck and those two guys you brought here," replied Robert.
"Upchuck's alive?" Daria looked surprised. "Well, I guess you really can't judge a book by its cover."
"So what now?" asked Kevin.
"Now?" Daria touched her chin thoughtfully. "Now we organize a search party to find Barch and make sure she doesn't commit murder against her former student and my former Highland classmates."
"Alright then everyone!" Kevin addressed the crowd of both Lawndale and Highland denizens. "What do you say we band together and help Daria resolve everything on this side of town?"
The mixed crowd muttered among themselves approvingly and set off slowly.
"Do you remember where Barch went?" Daria asked Robert.
"Uh, I think it was some porno place that was supposed to be wrecked," Robert told her.
Daria's facial expression turned into a frown.
"Upchuck, Beavis, and Butt-head at a porno place?" Daria commented. "Color me shocked."
"Um… Daria?" a timid voice reached her.
Daria turned back around. As most of the crowds were heading away, only Mr. Timothy O'Neill was left. And he was still standing on the landmine planted there. A look of concern etched itself across his face despite the nervous smile he wore. Daria also noted that there were more than a few beads of sweat on his head.
"Might I say Daria," Timothy told her. "That was a mighty rousing speech you gave!"
"Mmmhmm."
"So, uh, now what?" O'Neill asked nervously, motioning towards the landmine he was standing on.
"Now?" Daria's face turned into a smirk. "Now the rest of us go celebrate with brunch and happy hour at four. See you later, Mr. O'Neill."
She began walking away from her former teacher.
"Daria, wait!" Timothy begged. "You can't! I… I'm standing on a landmine!"
Daria smiled, laughing inwardly at the situation. She then turned back around.
"You can take your foot off," she told her ex-teacher. "It's an empty landmine."
"It is?"
"Yeah, we took the bomb out before we planted it," she replied.
"Oh, well, in that case," Timothy wiped away the sweat on his head and stepped off.
To his relief, there was no explosion.
"Whew, that was a close one!" O'Neill exclaimed.
"C'mon Mr. O'Neill," Daria motioned for her teacher to join her and the rest of the party.
Before long, she was in the center of the crowd again as Buzzcut stood by her side.
"Alright everybody, I guess the next order of business is to find Ms. Barch," Daria told everyone. "Anyways, Robert, if you would lead us there…"
"Well, she did say she was going to a porn place," Robert replied. "I think I have an idea where it's at. Just follow me and we'll—"
Suddenly, Robert gasped. A massive sword had been thrust through his stomach.
"Rob!" Kevin screamed.
"All of you have lost your nerve!" the demon Fulad-zereh raised the body of Rob up into the air. "Angra Mainyu does not look well upon those who displease him!"
With that, he threw Robert's bloodied body to the ground. He turned around and slashed through several other Lawndale survivors who were fleeing from him, killing them instantly.
"Guess Barch will have to wait," Daria frowned, taking out her crossbow. "Upchuck and the Dynamic Duo are on their own…"
oooo
"Listen Janet, we don't HAVE to do this," DeMartino insisted as Barch advanced upon him.
"On the contrary," Barch smiled, advancing closer.
She drove her fist into his stomach, knocking the air out of him. Then she grabbed him by the head, driving her knee into his skull. As Mr. DeMartino fell back from the blow, Janet Barch pummeled him continuously until he was a beaten and bloodied pulp on the floor.
"Ugh," Mr. DeMartino coughed violently.
"Ah, that felt good," Janet sneered. "Now for you two."
"Huh huh huh, did you see that, Beavis?" Butt-head asked his companion. "She kicked that dude's ass!"
Beavis noticed Barch walking towards them with similar sadistic intentions.
"Um, she looks like she wants to kick our asses now, Butt-head," Beavis gulped.
"Don't worry so much Beavis," Butt-head reassured his companion. "I'm a lady's man. I'll handle this."
Butt-head walked up to Janet Barch, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"Uh, hey baby," Butt-head told her. "Wanna, like, do it?"
For his troubles, Butt-head received a sidekick to the stomach that send him flying back. He landed next to Beavis, crying out in pain.
"Uhhhh!" Butt-head groaned.
"Looks like she handled you, Butt-head, heh heh heh!"
"Shut up, Beavis!" Butt-head cried, getting back on his feet painfully.
"I'm going to enjoy neutering the two of you," Barch stepped forward menacingly as the two boys looked at each other fearfully.
Suddenly, Barch stopped. Anthony DeMartino had grabbed her leg, trying to stop her from doing damage to the duo.
"Wait!" DeMartino insisted. "These are good kids! You can't—"
Barch kicked DeMartino in the face, knocking him out in one glancing blow.
"Who asked you?!" she demanded.
By the time she looked up again, both Beavis and Butt-head were fleeing from her towards a set of stairs.
"This chick's crazy, Beavis!" Butt-head told his companion. "Let's get the hell out of here!"
The two ran towards the stairs. Along the way, Beavis bumped into a gumball machine, accidentally knocking it over and shattering the glass, causing all the round gumballs to fall onto the floor.
Unfortunately for Barch, her foot stepped onto one of those gumballs as she chased after the duo, causing her to fall and hit her jaw really hard on the floor.
"Agh!" screamed Barch. "Damn it!"
As she looked up, she noticed the boys were closing in on the stairs that led to the top of the building. Getting back up, she continued chasing after them. The two of them ran up the stairs but Barch followed with all the determination of a predator hunting down its prey. Before long, she was gaining on them due to her superior athletic ability.
"C'mon, Beavis, she's gaining on us!" Butt-head told his partner as the two ascended the stairs.
Barch got closer and closer. However, just as she closed in on the two as they got to a flat surface of the staircase, Beavis managed to trip on an abandoned roller skate that had been lying there, tripping over and falling on his face, but launching the roller skate into Janet Barch's forehead in the process, knocking her back and sending her tumbling down the stairs.
Butt-head stopped and took a look at Beavis' accidentally handiwork.
"Uh… sometimes when you screw up, you really screw up for the better, Beavis," Butt-head complimented. "Huh huh huh!"
He helped his partner up and they ran off. Janet Barch, however, was on the floor, clutching her back and her side in pain.
"I'm going to kill those idiots!" Barch screamed at the top of her lungs.
Fighting past the pain, Barch got up and began ascending the stairs in her pursuit yet again.
oooo
"So, what will it be, Daria?" Fulad-zereh demanded of Daria while standing over the bodies of several Lawndale residents. "Will you accept the mercy of our lord Angra Mainyu?"
"I'm good," Daria replied simply.
She took out her crossbow and whipped out one of the arrows forged from the Spear of Destiny. Without hesitation, she fired.
Smugly, Fulad-zereh simply stood there as the arrow struck his armor and bounced off harmlessly.
"What?!" Daria was shocked.
"My armor is impenetrable!" the armored demon declared.
"Try this on for size!" Tom Anderson took aim with his rifle and fired.
The bullet struck the demon and forced him back a step. However, the monstrous being was otherwise unharmed.
"Hahaha!" Fulad-zereh declared. "None of you will leave here alive!"
"Well I'll be damned," Anderson cursed.
Buzzcut was up next, firing at the monster multiple times with his handgun as the armored demon advanced upon him. As Buzzcut backed away, the monster slashed at him with his sword, destroying his handgun.
The former PE coach ducked under another sword slash and drove his foot into the monster's chest with a spin kick, forcing Fulad-zereh back some.
Buzzcut picked up a fallen branch from the ground and smashed it across Fulad-zereh's head as hard as he could.
Fulad-zereh's helmeted head snapped back but the demon soon responded in return with a powerful backhand that knocked Buzzcut to the floor, rendering him unconscious.
"Okay, that's not good," Daria muttered.
Fulad-zereh stood over Buzzcut's prone body, ready to drive his sword down. Before he could, however, Mr. Anderson fired several more shots that forced him back.
"Daria, I think I might have an idea," Tom told her.
"I'm all ears."
"Well, this guy did say nothing could penetrate his armor," Tom told her, analyzing the situation carefully. "And maybe he's right. But what if it isn't the armor we need to be fighting? What if it's really the man… or rather the monster inside the armor that we need to focus on?"
"What do you have in mind?" asked Daria.
"Well, I'll need a distraction," Tom replied, eyeing the fallen arrow on the floor that Daria had previously fired.
"Dunno if this'll do the trick," Anderson revealed a grenade in his hands. "But how about this?"
Tom noted Stewart and Kevin pulling Buzzcut away from the scene as Fulad-zereh regained his bearings.
"It'll do perfectly, Mr. Anderson," Tom replied.
Anderson removed the pin from the grenade and threw it as soon as Kevin and Stewart had removed Buzzcut from out of range. The grenade landed near Fulad-zereh's armored boots and exploded instantly, consuming the demon in a fiery explosion.
"Okay guys," Tom told Kevin and Stewart. "I know I'm asking you to go on a suicide run here, but if he comes out of that explosion unharmed, can you distract him by trying to remove the sword from his hand?"
"No prob," Kevin promised.
"Well, it's worth a shot," Stewart acknowledged.
Before long, Fulad-zereh emerged from the smoke unharmed. He did not see Tom running past him at that point, going for the broken arrow that Daria had previously shot at him.
"You worms cannot hope to harm me!" declared Fulad-zereh, swinging his sword through the air threateningly.
Anderson fired another shot that bounced off the demon's head to distract him. At once, Stewart and Kevin ran forward and tackled the armored monster in his distracted state, attempting to wrest his sword from his hand.
"You dare?!" Fulad-zereh growled angrily.
He first grabbed Kevin with his free hand, throwing him back several yards. Stewart was next as Fulad-zereh threw him off easily.
"Was this the best you could do?" demanded Fulad-zereh as he advanced upon Daria and Tom Anderson menacingly.
"I'm outta bullets," admitted Anderson.
Daria said nothing. She simply stood there silently in front of Tom Anderson as Fulad-zereh raised his sword.
"Angra Mainyu has deemed you worthy of a second chance," the armored demon told her. "Submit to his will or perish!"
"Answer's the same as it's always been," Daria told him with a gleam in her eye. "No."
"Then perish!" Fulad-zereh snarled.
Before he could bring the sword down on her, however, Tom leaped onto Fulad-zersh's back, grabbing him in a chokehold.
"What is this?!" the armored demon cried.
Tom took out the arrow fashioned from the Spear of Destiny that Daria had previously fired at Fulad-zereh and plunged it into the exposed part of Fulad-zereh's helmet, eliciting a cry of horror and pain. This time, Tom felt as if he had connected with solid flesh of some sort as the Spear of Destiny fragment penetrated the monster within the armor. Before long, smoke to emerge from the armor as the demon within shrieked in pain.
The demon thrashed about back and forth in agony from the mortal wound inflicted upon him until Tom was finally thrown off. Daria quickly went over to her former boyfriend to see if he was alright.
"You okay?" asked Daria.
"Yeah, can't say the same for him though," Tom pointed out.
A monstrous howl emerged from the armor as black smoke emerged from the armor, floating towards the sky. Before long, all parts of Fulad-zereh's armor fell to the ground as if some invisible spirit previously holding them afloat had finally left and entered the void.
Soon, the rest of Lawndale's denizens emerged from the forests and other hiding places in the school to see what had gone on. Before them were scattered pieces of Fulad-zereh's armor, with no dark spirit inside anymore.
"Fulad-zereh is dead!" Daria told everyone. "We no longer have to live under the tyranny of him, Barch, or Angra Mainyu!"
"She's right," Tom added. "This town doesn't have to be divided anymore! All the sacrifices and bloodshed can stop!"
"I suppose you're right Daria," Claire DeFoe was the first to step forward. "But what do we do now? Barch and that armored demon gave us order and stability after the apocalypse. What can we do now?"
"First, we go find Barch," Daria replied. "Then we sort out the rest afterwards."
oooo
"Think we got away from her?" asked Butt-head.
The two of them had raced up to the rooftop of the porn manufacturing building after having escaped from the feminist teacher. There wasn't any other place to escape to at this point and the only way they could escape was to go down. To their right was the crane with a wrecking ball that was meant to destroy the building.
"Let's hope so, Butt-head," Beavis smiled. "I think I'm getting a stiffie thinking about that older chick chasing us around, heh heh heh!"
"Beavis, you've got messed up taste in women, huh huh huh!"
"Well what about you?" demanded Beavis. "Didn't you tell me once you had a nightmare of Daria in black leather whipping you?"
"Damn it Beavis!" Butt-head growled. "Didn't I tell you to never talk about that?"
Suddenly, the door that led to the top of the building swung open, revealing an enraged Janet Barch.
"Finally I've found you!" Barch declared.
"Um, where do we go now, Butt-head?" Beavis gulped.
Quickly, an enraged Barch ran towards them.
"Uh, just run!" Butt-head exclaimed, turning tail quickly.
The two of them turned and tried to escape but Barch quickly lunged at them, grabbing Beavis by the legs, causing Beavis to fall and cling to Butt-head's shorts at the same time, pulling them off and making Butt-head fall down as well.
"Uhhh!" screamed Butt-head.
"I gotcha!" Janet screamed.
"Hey Butt-head," Beavis looked up before Janet reached for his throat. "I think I see you getting a stiffie from here, heh heh heh!"
"Damn it Beavis, don't look at my nads!" Butt-head became infuriated.
In anger, he lashed out his foot at Beavis just as Janet was about to put Beavis in a chokehold, kicking Beavis in the face and causing his head to snap back and hit Janet right in the nose, knocking her to the floor.
"Agh!" Janet screamed, falling down.
"Ow, what was that for?" demanded Beavis.
"Uh, that was for pulling down my pants and looking at my nads, butt-knocker!"
"Damn it Butt-head, that old chick knocked me down and made me look at your nads!" Beavis retorted.
"Yeah, well you shouldn't have looked anyways, butt-knocker!"
"Shut up Butt-head, quit calling me that!"
As the two argued, Janet Barch got up. With all her might, she tackled Beavis, grabbing him and hoisting him up over her head.
"Aaaahhh!" Beavis screamed. "Help!"
Barch kicked Butt-head down and carried Beavis over to the edge of the building, throwing him off. Immediately she turned her attention back to Butt-head.
"Now for you," Barch said with a voice that dripped of venom and hatred.
As Barch closed in on Butt-head, Beavis fell down but out of sheer dumb luck, managed to grab on to the metal hook beneath the wrecking ball of the construction crane. The momentum of his fall caused the wrecking ball to swing back. Then it swung forth thanks to Beavis, smashing into the side of the building where both Barch and Butt-head were, just as Barch began choking on Butt-head with both hands.
"Aaaahhh!" both Barch and Butt-head screamed as the wrecking ball destroyed the part of the building they were both on.
As wreckage fell down, Butt-head fell down first and grabbed on to a side of the building, luckily saving himself.
Barch, on the other hand, could only grab Beavis by the feet with both hands as the wrecking ball, and Beavis, swung back yet again like a pendulum.
"Don't think I'm through with you!" Barch cried, holding on tightly, but still intent on murdering her target.
Once more the wrecking ball swung forth. This time, the momentum of the swing caused Beavis to swing both feet forward, launching Barch's face into a broken concrete part of the building, slamming her with enough force to make her let go of Beavis and plummet to the ground.
After a sickening thud was heard, Beavis managed to steady himself as the wrecking ball slowed down in its swing. He looked towards Butt-head who had managed to climb to safety inside part of the wrecked building.
"Um, what just happened?" asked Beavis.
"Uh… I think that old chick is dead!" Butt-head looked down to see the broken body of Janet Barch.
Beavis looked down as well.
"Whoa, she is!" he exclaimed.
"Uh, I think you killed her, Beavis!" Butt-head pointed out.
"No way, that wasn't me!" insisted Beavis.
"Hey!" a grizzled voice from below shouted.
Both Beavis and Butt-head looked down to see Upchuck and Anthony DeMartino.
"Hey, are you boys ALRIGHT?" asked DeMartino.
"Uh… never better!" chuckled Butt-head. "Huh huh huh!"
"I can't believe it," Upchuck stared down at the body of Janet Barch. "You two actually defeated the dreaded Janet Barch!"
"Upchuck, let's help these BOYS down," Anthony DeMartino told his former student.
"Way ahead of you, Mr. DeMartino," Upchuck nodded, running upstairs to help Butt-head.
DeMartino looked up towards Beavis and Butt-head approvingly.
"Ya know, I didn't THINK kids of your generation HAD many redeemable qualities," admitted DeMartino. "But I was WRONG. You two are GOOD kids! Not like the NIMRODS and ding-dongs I've HAD to teach!"
Beavis and Butt-head look at each other and laughed.
"He said rod," Butt-head chuckled. "Huh huh huh huh huh!"
"Yeah, then he said dong!" Beavis smiled. "Heh heh heh heh heh!"