Paul's POV
We agreed to let Kristy meet Brenna at our house and without her knowing who she is. She's coming over for lunch and Bella is in full freak out mode.
"What are you so worried baby? If this doesn't go well we don't let her come back. She signed away her rights, Brenna is yours. No one is going to take her from you. I don't really know Kristy all that well but I don't think she's a bad person. I think she just wants the chance to her know her kid."
"My kid. Brenna is my kid and your kid. She is not her kid." She tells me in her scary quiet voice.
"I didn't mean it like that Bella. I know she's yours. Everyone knows she's yours. Just try to calm down OK? You know how upset Brenna gets when you're worried."
"How are you so OK with this? She never cared about Bren at all, she refused to see her. She was going to give her up for adoption." She yells at me.
"But she didn't give her up for adoption. She came to me and she refused to see her because it would have hurt. You agreed to this Bella, I told you it was your decision. You said she can come for lunch and we'll see how it goes. You made the plans. Do you want me to call her and cancel?"
"No, that would be mean. I just worry. She has a lot more money than us, what if she does take us to court?" She's trying not to cry and I feel like a jerk.
"She has no rights to her, she signed them away and then a social worker and a judge decided you were good enough to be her mom, her and Carson's. So no one is going to take her because Kristy has more money than us. This is her home, we are her parents, and Carson and Kylie are her brother and sister. She is ours." I tell her again.
Brenna comes down the stairs with Kylie bouncing down after her.
"Hungry mama." Kylie tells her and Bella picks her up and kisses her.
"I know Kylie but we're waiting on someone." She tells her.
"What are we eating?" Brenna asks.
"Chicken parmesan with salad and bread sticks." She tells her.
"That sounds yuck mama." Kylie tells her.
"Everything sounds yuck to you baby. Go play with Carson in the backyard until it's time to eat." She tells her and they both run off so she can go back to freaking out and now obsessively cleaning.
"Come on baby, she'll be here soon. Just please sit down until she gets here." I finally get her to go outside with the kids until Kristy shows up which works out because I have a chance to talk to her first.
"Hi Paul." She tells when as I let her in the house. "Thank you for letting me come."
"It was Bella's decision and it will be Bella's decision if we continue to let you be a part of our life. So I wouldn't do anything to piss her off. She's very protective and possessive of our kids." I tell her.
"That's good. I had no doubt she would be a wonderful mother. I'm not here to upset her; I just want to know Brenna. Does she know who I am? I don't want to say anything I shouldn't." She sounds so nervous.
"No she doesn't know. We've talked about telling her later if it works out and you stay in her life. But you understand that you will be the person that gave birth to her, Bella is and always will be her mom."
"Of course. In just the few minutes I saw her I could tell she was happy and taken care of. I would never try to take her from you. You took her and raised her when I wasn't willing. I was selfish, maybe still am selfish but I'm not that selfish. I just want to know her." She tells me and I believe her.
"OK then, they're all outside, come on." I lead her through the house into the backyard where Carson and Brenna are pushing Kylie on the swing.
"Hi Kristy." Bella greets her a little too happily and then calls the kids over.
"This is Carson, Brenna and Kylie. Guys this is Kristy, an old friend of daddy's." I can see the jealously in her eyes.
"Hi Kristy, do you want to come play with us? You can swing. Only I can swing by myself and Bren doesn't swing, it makes her dizzy." Carson tells her.
"Um yeah it used to make me dizzy too." She tells Carson and Bella glares at me.
"Let's go eat lunch guys." I tell them and Carson and Kylie run in but Brenna grabs Bella's hand and Bella picks her up. Brenna doesn't like strangers at all.
We help them wash their hands and get everyone set down. Carson and Brenna start eating while Kylie pushes her food around her plate.
Carson and Kylie keep conversation going and Brenna pretends Kristy doesn't exist. Bella is extremely happy with the arrangement.
"So Brenna do you go to school?" Kristy asks her and she shakes her head no and Carson tells her she's not old enough yet.
She tries a couple more questions but gives up and talks to Carson and Kylie.
"I'm tired mommy." Brenna whispers to her and she tells us she will be right back.
"Carson you stay here with Kristy OK? I'm going to take Kylie to bed and check on mommy."
Bella is in bed with Brenna reading her a book so Kylie runs and curls up next to them.
"You OK baby?" I ask her and she just looks up and smiles. She is not OK. I tell the girls good night and then go back to Carson and Kristy. Kristy is laughing at something he said.
"OK Carson outside, movie, or drawing?" Those are the only options he gets when the girls are napping.
"Will you come outside with me Kristy?" He asks her and she looks at me. I tell her it's up to her so she follows him out. I put the food up and then go out with them. I have a feeling Bella isn't coming down for a while.
"Figures neither Bella nor Brenna would like me." She tells me.
"Well Bren is extremely shy and Bella is kind of jealous. On my side of things and Bren's side. I slept with you and you gave birth to Brenna. Bella loves all the kids but Brenna needs her more. She's shy and she worries and she doesn't like change at all. If you want to be a part of her life it's going to take time and a lot of that time is going to be like today. Her ignoring you but knowing you're here. I can't even promise you she'll come around."
"Is it going to bother Bella if I talk and play with the other two?" She asks.
"I don't really know." I tell her honestly. Bella is not easy to read. "Are you OK coming here and hanging out with the other two while Brenna ignores you?"
"I don't mind. I just want to know her; they are a big part of her. And they are very sweet kids. I couldn't have picked a better family for her."
We talk and watch Carson play until Bella finally comes down.
"They are both asleep." She tells me pretending Kristy isn't even here. Sometimes I forget she's so young because she had to grow up so fast but in moments like this it shows.
"Thank you for letting me come today Bella, I would really like to come back. But I understand if you don't want me to."
"You couldn't possibly understand." Bella tells her with more bitterness than I have ever heard from her. Ever. And we used to hate each other, fight with each other on the rare occasion Sam and Emily accidently had us in the same room.
"I never had a family Bella; I never had anyone to lose so I didn't know how hard it would be. I grew up with different nannies because my mom was never home. She died when I was 18 and I didn't even cry over it. So you're right I probably don't understand but I do know that you have a piece of my heart that I would never take from you, even if I possibly could because she adores you. I never thought much of family until that day I watched you and Carson at the book store. I didn't know there were mom's out there that looked at their kids the way you look at all of them. But just from being around you this little bit I do understand a little bit how much you love them." Kristy tells her and she starts crying and then Bella starts crying and I am so glad Brenna is in bed.
"I love her so much, and I know you can't take her and I believe that you don't even want to but I don't even like thinking about the fact that you have a connection to her that I can never have. She has your blood and she has your eyes. She's my daughter but she's kind of yours too." Bella tells her sobbing and I hold her.
They cry and Carson runs over all concerned and I tell him it's just girl stuff and Bella asks me to take him for a walk. We go on a long walk and when we get back Bella and Kristy are sitting in the kitchen drinking tea and eating cake.
OK then. I will never understand woman.