Thanks for all of the positive feedback everyone! It's really awesome to know that you're enjoying this story so far and I really hope you all continue to enjoy it.

To all the reviewers, followers and favoriters: You guys are the best! I can't tell you how much you all brighten my day! You're my motivation

WARNING: I feel like there is a lot of cussing in the chapter so I apologize if it offends anyone but it just felt right to have it there. Plus I cuss a lot in real life…

ENJOY! Much love

The last thing Raven wanted to do was drag her blanket and pillow out into the living room for a slumber party. Her heart was heavy and her body sank with it as she phased through the floor. She was relieved to find that the only other person in the room was Starfire. Raven dropped her things on the floor by the window and sat on the ground and looked out the window preparing to meditate. She knew she was going to need it before she left to go meet with Slade. The thought made her nervous and caused the things around her to twitch. She closed her eyes and felt the dim evening light on her face. She began to find her peace and her heart didn't feel like it was going to fall and the nervous twitch inside her and the things around her had calmed.

Azarath Metrion Zinthos. The words flowed out of her mouth quietly and they seemed to be whispered inside her head by all of her emotions. For once, nothing seemed to be working against her. For now, all of her parts worked in harmony and their whispers became steady and calm like rain. She was so at peace. Maybe I can do this without Slade. I can fight this. I can fight him. I can…

A sharp pain shot through her head and down her spine. Her emotions' calm whispers turned into screams and then she finally heard her own. She crashed to the floor and curled up in a ball. Tears stung her eyes as she squeezed them shut. She closed her ears hoping to block out the voice that she knew would come next.

You have to be a fool to think that a moment of peace meant that you were safe, demon girl. You understand that I will not hesitate to kill your friends, right? Maybe I should prove it…

"NO!" she screamed. She felt hands trying to pull her own away from her ears. They gave up and began to hold her face between them. She could feel the person yelling at her, but she could not hear them. The pain…She was going to pass out or get sick if it lasted any longer. She wanted to die and she found herself wishing it outloud.

"Kill me, kill me, please kill me. Make it stop. Father, please. Please…"

The hands began to shake her harder but nothing would stop the pain. It was so much worse than last time. The voice in her head laughed and came again; Your friends would feel this before they died only for much longer. As much as I like watching you squirm, I thought you were so much stronger than this Raven. We will have to work on your pain tolerance.

As fast as it had arrived, the voice was gone and the pain subsided. She lay there perfectly still and anticipated its return. She still was curled up with her eyes closed tightly and her hands still clutching her head. Raven didn't realize she wasn't breathing until someone jerked her again. She gasped for air and opened her eyes to see Beast Boy hovering over her. He looked terrified and his green skin was pale. His wave of concern and fear washed over her along with a wave of nausea.

"Trash," she croaked.

The green boy only paused for a second before grabbing a trash can and running it back over to her. She got sick and it steadied her a bit and so she pushed the can aside.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she leaned her back against the wall. Her sweat clung her clothes and hair to her and it looked like she had just finished fighting. Beast Boy still hadn't said a word and she didn't see Starfire until she brought her a cup of water with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she mumbled. She didn't know what else to say without giving anything away. Beast Boy got close to her and put a hand on her shoulder and asked gently, "What happened? Was it the voice?"

Raven nodded as she took a drink of her water. Beast Boy shook his head, "We can't fuck around with this Voice then, huh?"

"I would advise that," she answered with her eyes closed. She understood now. Slade didn't want her to meditate or she would be strong and confidant when she met with him. He wanted her weak, hurt, and desperate. He wins. She put her face in her hands and heard the shape-shifter ask, "Are you okay Raven?" This time she shook her head. She finally looked up at him and asked, "Where are Cyborg and Robin?" He seemed to be more comfortable with this question and he answered, "They are getting some supplies, gas, and food for tonight. You've been meditating for like 3 hours. Star is talking to Robin now on the T-Com."

"Okay. Thank you," she said before closing her eyes. She felt him grab her hand and squeeze it before he got up off the ground. As she leaned against the wall, she could hear bits of Beast Boy and Starfire's conversation with Robin.

"…screaming…eyes glowing red…half the room covered with black magic…wanted to die…yelled for her father…yeah I know…she's not okay…yeah…the voice…yes, again…she didn't say…I don't know…me too…okay…see you in a bit…"

Her eyes flew open. No. She felt panic rise up in her. My eyes were glowing red and my powers were covering the room? I could have killed them…

She shot up off the ground and met eyes with Starfire and Beast Boy. The words tumbled out of her mouth, "I'm sorry. I wish I wasn't what I was and that our friendship was easier. I want to tell you everything but I can't. I just want you guys to be safe," Starfire stepped towards her, but Raven stepped back gently shaking her head, "I have to leave. Please don't come after me. Just know that I'm…" She heard the door open and two bodies moving quickly through the door. The Boy Wonder briskly walked into the room and stopped staring straight at her.

The masked boy thought Raven looked like a deer surrounded by a pack of wolves. She looked sick and her eyes were wide in terrified realization. The girl looked like she was going to take off running at any second and all Robin could think about was that she was the same girl who broke his heart just hours before. However, his body tensed, ready to run after her. He just looked into her eyes, afraid to make any sudden movements. It was Cyborg that made the first move.

"Rae, what's wrong? Just sit down and we'll talk about it."

Raven shook her head and stepped back again towards the window, "Don't." Through the hum of his machinery, Raven could feel his hurt.

"Rae, I'm not going to hurt you. You seem really confused right now and if you just let us help you..."

The violet-haired girl felt the tears well up in her eyes but her voice remained steady, "I'm beyond help."

The emotions from her teammates sparked like a firecracker. Panic, Concern, and her own anguished seemed to explode in the air like fireworks. The teammate that had always seemed to carry her burden so well was finally breaking. Robin had been staring at her intently this whole time and for the first time, didn't know what to say. What did she mean by that? Cyborg tried talking to her again like he was trying to talk someone off a ledge, "We'll get you to your room, the infirmary, whatever you want. We'll let you meditate…"

She blanched at the suggestion. Slade and his voice had taken that away from her. The pain had torn her so violently away that she was afraid she could never go back and reach that peace. No one could help her. Except for him. The realization filled her with desperation and hopelessness.

Cyborg noticed her expression immediately and stopped. She looked from his helpless expression and then to Beast Boy and Starfire's confused and panicked expression. Finally she looked over to the boy in the mask. She had felt Robin's eyes on her the whole time. Once again, she felt his concern and his fear. For the moment, they were overpowering his heartbreak that she felt like it was her own. She knew that he was prepared to run after her if she ran away. She wanted to kiss him and tell him that she didn't mean what she said but that just wasn't an option. They would die if she stayed and she treasured their lives far more than she treasured her own. She didn't care about her own life without them in it either. So unfair. She relaxed her stance and the others seemed to relax with her. The tension was still there but it did not wrap around her as tightly.

Finally, she spoke, "You have made my life worth living and there's nothing I can do to repay you," the team stared at her and she saw the Boy Wonder step towards her because he knew, "but I can try." She wrapped her raven soul-self around her and she was immediately engulfed in darkness. She flew out of the tower and into the city with the masked boy's voice yelling her name.

She landed in an alley in the farthest outskirt of Jump City away from the tower. She pulled her hood back and let the night time air rustle her hair in the wind. It smelled like wet concrete and cigarettes and she saw that she had landed near a bar. There were men and women outside smoking and laughing and drunkenly hugging each other. She walked completely out of the alley and looked behind her before throwing her hood back up and walking down the sidewalk and towards the bar. As she walked past, a man yelled, "Hey baby come here for a second." "Fuck off," she replied as she kept her eyes straight ahead. The other people outside began to laugh and it faded away as she got further away from the bar.

But she heard footsteps behind her. What could a stupid, inebriated human do to hurt her more than she already was? The person behind her wasn't trying to be sneaky though because she heard their voice, "I said come here." Raven stopped in her tracks and turned around ready to take her frustrations out. Anger stirred and she wasn't sure she wanted to bother putting it down.

"Listen fuckhead. I'm not in the mood to stop myself from killing you. I'll tell you one more time. Fuck off."

A grin spread across the man's face. He was pretty average looking. The drinks must've made him confident because by the looks of it, she could've kicked his ass even without her powers.

His grin only got bigger as he said, "You won't do shit."

Raven felt her eyes glow red as she slammed the man against the building. Her demonic voice slipped into her words, "I will literally rip your brain out of your head, hold it in front of your eyes and show you how to use it because apparently you don't." But the man only laughed with a little less confidence as it said, "Calm down demon bitch. I'm just fucking with you."

Raven had only just begun to see the man's skin flicker when she groaned, "Godfuckingdammit, not you."