Author's Note: Hi there, I'm really sorry for the long wait. Just been real busy with this one. Hopefully I'll have more time to devote to this. Still I hope you all will like this one. Enjoy.

Chapter 26: Worries

"Yo, Don! You in here?" Raph called out as he exited the elevator and entered the garage. Both eyes scanned around and found the lights were on, meaning someone was in here.

From inside the back of the Battle Shell the turtle in question could be found underneath one of the consoles, fiddling with the wires. He was currently trying to install some new components into the system, so it could help prevent electrical overloads and virus from entering his system. After this he needed to work on the armor plating and hopefully use the Utrom tech to upgrade and maybe add a secondary shielding system to it.

There was so much to do... In case the Prime leader ever escaped, he knew he would make good on his threat. Donnie had to be ready in case of a second invasion from The former Prime Leader. But the list of things was piling up, and his ideas were pouring out faster than he could note them down. He needed to upgrade the Battle Shell big time, and even create weapons to help combat them. Things were going too slow for his liking, but it would all pay off later if he got it done.

He was still fretting over his family finding him out... So far, his brothers and father had respected his wishes and let him recover at his own pace. They were still curious to hear what must be a very interesting story, particularly of his escape, but Don made it clear that he wasn't ready to talk about it.

However, Don hadn't managed to distract himself enough. His mind had kept flitting back to what happened earlier… when Mikey had unintentionally surprised him. He had attacked his younger brother a few days ago and he just felt positively awful about it. He wasn't at all sure why it had happened, his mind had just involuntarily flashed back to his time in the prison and it was like his body went on to autopilot. It wasn't until he heard his baby brother crying in pain did he snap back to reality.

Donnie paused his work as his thoughts drifted back to a few days ago, right after he ran into the bathroom avoiding Mikey. After he had cooled down, he just couldn't make sense of what happened. In some aspect he had a lot to thank his brother for.

Flashback

Eventually he had psyched himself up enough to peer out of the bathroom door. Slowly opening to check that the coast was clear, thankfully no one seemed to be around... Mikey wasn't in sight. Sighing in relief he left the confines of the bathroom and walked about the lair, keeping his eyes peeled for his orange clad brother.

Not because he was afraid of him or anything... he was ashamed. Shame seemed to be something he was dangerously over dosing on lately and he still couldn't believe it of himself. One moment he's home, then suddenly he felt arms wrap around him, and faster than the speed of light, he was back in the prison, being... assaulted, completely helpless! His body just reacted, and he couldn't believe that he hurt his brother…shell he nearly broke his arm! What was wrong with him?

"Just go to your lab… Just avoid Mikey until this blows over and then-" but his own train of thought was interrupted as his stomach growled. His feet stopped as he looked down and placed a hand on his stomach. He was surprised to find himself incredibly hungry... His appetite had up and left him a long time ago while back in the prison. Did his stomach somehow know he was back on earth?

As much as Don just wanted to sneak off to his lab, or his room, he knew that he needed food in his belly if he wanted to get through this day. But that meant having to go into the kitchen. Hopefully Mikey wasn't in there at all, he didn't want to explain himself to him…or his other brothers for that matter. But wait… what if Mikey had told them what he did? On no, then that would mean... he was going to be cornered. Family members didn't take to being attacked likely. Chances are his older brothers would want to know what was going on… That would mean he would have to tell them what happened… and his shame would be revealed... and then... he would be cast out of the clan. No, this couldn't happen, he just got home, and he had to make sure they were protected... He didn't want to leave them, not when he needed them -

"Hey Don." The purple clad turtle jumped as he suddenly found himself in the kitchen. Both of his eyes were wide in shock as he hadn't realized that his body had been on auto pilot. Food just called to him. Worse it was Mikey who had greeted him. "Take a seat bro, foods ready." He was rather cheerful for someone who had just had their arm almost broken. Donnie quickly looked away.

"Yo, Don finally up," Raph greeted, Leo with a nod and a warm smile.

"Did you sleep well my son?" Splinter asked.

The turtle's mouth went dry as he wasn't sure what to do. Why was Mikey acting so cheerful after what happened? Didn't he tell the others what he did, and if so why were they acting normal? "F-Fine…I'm doing good Sensei." He responded cautiously. They must be luring him into a false sense of security before bringing up the assault. What was wrong with him? This was his family... He didn't need to feel so hostel and suspicious around them... did he?

For some reason his body acted on its own as he went for a seat at the table... his seat. The one he hadn't sat in months. Just like he used to do he reached and pulled the chair out before sitting. Man, all the meals they all had at this table… back before all this had happened. A small sense of normalcy flooded the room, a strange feeling of completeness for everyone. For a moment the brothers reflect on the moment. Finally, they were whole once more, and it just felt so good to them to have Donatello back.

Then Don nearly jumped as a plate of food appeared in front of him, both eyes looking up and seeing Mikey by his side with a big smile. "You slept through breakfast. I thought you would want this when you woke up." He nodded. "Eat up bro. It's still your favorite, right?"

"Oh…uh, thank you Mikey," Don returned with a forced smile, now looking down at his plate. He couldn't help his mouth dropped at what he had been served. On the plate is a large serving of French toast, sprinkled with powdered sugar, and with freshly cut strawberries... and COFFEE! Real coffee! Rich black, grounded coffee as only Mikey could do it.

Was it Christmas?

The smell of it just made his head spin and his belly growled. He hadn't had this in so long, nor anything solid for that matter. During his imprisonment he had had a skimpy diet of that gooey slop all the prisoners did not love so much. Shell! most of the time he never ate because of the guards and the other inmates... And things didn't seem to improve after the rebels took over food wise. Originally Don thought he would be able to eat something else, but because of all the battles food supplies were stretched thin, meaning that goop he hoped he would never see again was all that was available.

"You alright Don?" Leo asked, knocking his brother out of his train of thought.

"Uh... what?" Don's head picked up realizing that he had been salivating without knowing. The mere sight of actual food just got to him, and apparently the others noticed.

"Food had ya in some kind of trance bro." Raph responded next, sharing the same curious look as his older brother.

"It's…It's nothing. I just haven't seen good food in a while." Don responded. He figured it was safe to partially tell the truth about something like that... But he would have to think carefully about what answers he gave to which questions... especially since his father was present. The old rat had a sixth sense when it came to anyone of them lying or holding out on them.

He kept his head down, been careful to avoid the side glances Mikey was giving him.

"Really?" Leo asked but then thought back to when all four of them had being imprisoned. "Oh yeah, I remember, it was that moldy Sloppy Joe's type of stuff?" He winced at the memory. "That's horrible Don... Mikey is going to have his work cut out for him to get that taste out of your mouth." He smiled innocently but Don could tell that his leader was trying to push the conversation into dangerous territory. Sneaky turtle.

The purple turtle just nodded and without another word picked up his fork. Cutting off a piece of the toast, along with a strawberry he placed in his mouth and began to chew. But then his body froze, and eyes widen, his mouth stopped chewing as the flavor registered... BOOM! and his brain exploded.

"Gosh! this…It tastes so good…" He thought as a shudder shot through him. He didn't know it until now, but he had forgotten the taste of food. For a moment the sugar made him feel a bit sick, but it was just so damn good, he ate it anyway. The only time he paused was when he felt an uncomfortable pressure build up in the back of his eyes … but he pushed it back. Real tears were something that hadn't escaped Don since that night with... with Rhynnok. No weakness would ever be shown again, and he wasn't about to start now, not in front of his brothers. Unfortunately, he couldn't do much to hide his expression of pure delight as everyone unknowingly started studying him and his eagerness with the plate.

"Donatello?" Splinter was the first to ask, as everyone seemed to be a little taken aback as they watched him go at the plat in a frenzy... Utensils forgotten. In one moment there was a delicious plate of food on the plate and in the blink of an eye it was all gone. Don even went as far as to lick the plate, and almost choked down his coffee.

"I think he wants some more Mikey." Leo whispered without taking his eyes away from the display.

"Emmm... I'm not taking that plate back. I want to keep my fingers thanks." Mikey whispered. "I'll just make some more." He shrugged.

"Gee Don take a breath will ya!" Raph patted his shell.

After cleaning the plate, Donnie took a moment to push that stinging pressure back, disguising it with a tired rub to his face. The food was just so good, he couldn't help himself. The family members looking him over with concern, whereas Raph gave him a small smirk. "And here's me thinking that its only Mikey who could eat like that." He laughed. "Good to have you back bro." He finished taking the smart turtles plate away. Don felt his cheeks darken slightly from the on lookers. This was the first good meal he had had since... he couldn't remember.

End Flashback

Well that had been awkward.

The turtle confessed that it had been a while since he had had any kind of good food, or even something that could be called food for that matter. It wasn't a lie. Mikey took it as a huge compliment, but Don notice that his younger brother was keeping his distance.

When he had finished, he could see the line of questions were lining up on the tip of everybody's tongue, but once again Splinter was his saving grace. What was clearly a difficult issue, Don shouldn't have to worry about been bombarded with questions. The purple clad turtle smiled gratefully as they all nodded and left the table, but the lingering look on the old rat was all too clear. He wanted Don to come to them first. The turtle was living on borrowed time. He knew his father knew that something was really wrong.

How did his father have this crazy ability to make them feel bad without even saying anything? Just a simple look screamed, "I know you are keeping something from us my son..." What would have sealed his fate much quicker however was if Mikey had revealed his violent freak out. Why had he not said anything?

"Don!" The genius jumped almost hitting his head on the car door. Knocked out of his thoughts when he hears his red clad brother's voice. He looked to see Raph with his arms folded. "Bro, you going deaf or something?"

"Oh, sorry Raph just…lost in thought." Don nervously chuckled, excusing himself as he stood up. "Ow!" he mentally groaned at the aches in his legs at crouching for so long. Wow he was out of shape. He had to get back to training soon.

"Lost? You were out of this world bro. You still in space?" Raph looked him over with an expression that was not at all hiding the worry all the brothers had earlier. Truthfully Raph was feeling the atmosphere just as much as the others, but if he wanted a chance of seeing his little brother on his own, then he was going to have to be a bit more cunning and pretend that he didn't see anything wrong. "You been up here all day. Hiding from us?" He states

Donnie quickly gets out of the vehicle and walks towards his brother. "I'm not hiding. Just got a lot to catch up on."

The younger turtle looked up into Raph's face confident that he couldn't see what was just bubbling under the surface. Raph looked like he wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth closed. Something was on the hothead's mind and that made Don nervous. "Well forget it. I came here to fetch ya."

"What for?" Don asked raising his eyebrow. It wasn't another meal time yet.

"Family meeting." Was all he said turning to leave towards the elevator, not even looking back to see if he's being followed. Ok now Don was worried. This was a classic red turtle 'cornering maneuver.' Don was going to have to think up something fast to deflect it... or at least something, anything that would satisfy him and not persist.

As the elevator door closed and started its downward descent towards the lair the two brothers stood in an awkward silence with an atmosphere that Don was sure could cut him like paper. They were only half way when Don anxiously looked up from the floor towards his too cool a brother who was casually leaning back with his arms folded. Raph was studying him with one of his eye ridges raised suspiciously at his defensive posture.

"Looking a bit nervous there brainiac. Got anything you want to say before we get to the lair?" Raph asked. His tone dripping with sarcasm.

"No am fine... So, Splinters called a meeting?

"No." Raph said still a little to casually for his liking. "I did!" He then reached out pressing a button that made the elevator immediately stopped with a violent jerk.

"No" the purple clad turtle thought as panic instantly took over. How could he have been so stupid getting in here with Raphael. It was the perfect setting for prying the truth out of people. Nowhere to run too in this dark...dark small space... with...with NO WHERE to run too... Had he said that already? Where he couldn't escape... trapped... surrounded... Was it just him or was it getting smaller in here?

"I think you and I need to have a chat little brother. Just you and me." Raph said with a sigh but he was looking at the floor now with much less confidence than before. He couldn't look his brother in the eye as he prepared the question he was afraid to ask. "Don…what is going on with you? It's obvious it has all to do with what happened with the Prime leader and imprison and everything-"

"Raph let's NOT make this one of those moments please." Donnie interrupted but his brother ignored him.

"Ya different!"

"Of course, I'm different... it's hardly likely to be all rainbows after... Stuff happened. Am working through it-"

"Do you blame us Don?"

"What?" Ok he hadn't been expecting that.

"Because we failed to rescue you from them... Because we left you behind. Do you blame us?" Raph said still not looking up. His face contorted in self-loathing. Don must blame them. Shell only knew they all blamed themselves. That would explain everything... and they had to face it because there was just no way of making it up to him.

"No! No Raph I don't blame you. I never have... this isn't about any of you." He had to get out of here. It was too hot...why did it feel like he was suffocating. It was then he saw Two of the body guards were coming towards him, grabbing him with their giant hands restraining his arms outward before forcing him down to the floor... A third guard appeared and kneeled at his legs before looming over him, on top of him, sneering... laughing at him as the pain started. He just remembered trying to focus on anything above him... and on his breathing. "Just keep breathing!" He told himself.

Raph thinking his brother was justifiably getting upset by the growing short raspy breathing, until he finally got the nerve to look up and meet his sad face, full of resentment and betrayal... but instead he saw his brother looking right through him, backing up against the wall of the elevator like a scared animal! His hands clutching against the surface. Eyes were wide as saucers. Was Donnie... was Donnie scared of him?! No, he wasn't even looking at him. "Don…what's wrong?!" Raph reached forward.

"No! S-Stay away! Get off me! I don't want to!" Don hissed, bolting to the other side of the small space. Raph blinked rather alarmed. He went to reach out for him again.

"What the shell is the matter with ya!?" Raph called hoping that his voice was reaching through whatever nightmare Don was seeing with his waking eyes. But the moment his fingers made contact, Don immediately flinched away trying to make himself as small as possible. Donatello's mind had most certainly switched off! He was back in the prison once more. Now he was hand cuffed, laying on his front, alone in his cell with a guard having a late-night inspection! His body trembled as he felt his hands running slowly up his shell toward his neck. He could hear his laugh... imagining his lustful grin on the dino's face. His head suddenly and violently shoved forward into the floor pinning him down.

"DONNIE snap out of it!" A painful strike radiated down the un-bandaged side of his face. Immediately the prison walls vanished. Don found himself in the small elevator with his brother Raph who was sporting an expression almost as scared as his own.

"Raph? What happened?" Did…Did his brother just? "You…slapped me?!"

"Sorry. Really sorry... but bro you just totally wigged out on me then!" Raph apologized without losing his facial expression. Now an entire set of new questions were flowing. None of them good. The look on his little brothers face made his blood run cold. "What the shell was that Donnie!? Who were you yelling at because it sure the shell wasn't me!?"

"Raph…please…I can't-"

"Donnie please. Why won't you talk to me!?" Something much more was going on here, something terrible. What the shell had happened to his baby brother? "I'm not a genius but I'm not stupid! This isn't normal Donnie! YOU'RE not normal!" Desperately grasping him by the shoulders. For a second the turtle really thought Don was going to spill the beans, but his lips and eyes remained tighter than a frozen jam jar.

His hot-headed brother's words in that desperate and almost pleading tone was more piercing than his sais but he couldn't tell him. He could never know. Never! The shame would be too much, and he could lose them as a result. "Raph…please…I don't want to."

"Donnie this is me your talking to! There is nothing you can't shock me with!" Raph moved closer.

"That's where your wrong Raph... Things happened that I know even you couldn't handle." He looked away. "I can't... not yet..." He wouldn't cry... he will NEVER cry again. He waited for Raph to argue but instead the tight grip on his shoulders loosened but didn't leave. His brother's hands were now soft and comforting. The red clad turtle was trying anything to get him to open up.

"I don't blame you. None of you... please believe me, but I'm…not ready."

After that silence filled the elevator. The purple clad turtle refused to look up to meet Raph disappointed, maybe even angry face. Raph was one of the few that could get the genius to open up. This was a new experience for the red clad turtle... and he didn't like it.

Don waited but to his surprising relief he heard a sigh. Then he was released and Raph backed away from him. A few seconds later the elevator hummed back to life. It was Don's turn to muster up the courage to look up.

Raph had returned to his spot on the wall, but he didn't look disappointed or even angry. Instead he smiled warmly, but it was full of worry. "Ok bro, will do this your way... Just promise me something… whether it's me, Leo, Mikey. Father, April...heck even Casey... just don't wait until it's too late."

Normally Raph wouldn't give up on something as scary, and this was scary! Though he wouldn't admit it, Donnie was terrifying him. Pressing the issue didn't seem to be working... Coming up with a compromise is all he could do... Oh boy. He better not let Leo know that he did that. His bad-ass image would be destroyed.

But he would hold Donnie to that halfhearted compromise. Sooner or later the smart turtle would have to talk because no matter what the genius said, he was NOT fine! In fact, he was a bus ride and two cab rides and along walk away from fine!

This surprised Don, normally when Raph was trying to talk to one of his brothers, nor hell or high water could stop him from finding the truth. Was this a new tactic or something? He should get out while the going was good. He returned the smile with a nod. Don wasn't particularly happy, even at earning another pause to his confession... He was sinking in his own shame... and no matter which way he looked at it, there was no way out.

A/N: Hope you like. Things seem to be getting worse for Don, and it won't be getting better. Still I hope it was good. Till next time.