Sai tumbled off his melting bird, falling to the ground in a tangle of limbs even paler than usual. Kakashi rushed over, interrupting the jounin next to him who was updating him on the status of several operations.
"Kakashi-taichou," Sai whispered.
Blood trickled out of the corner of his lips, crimson stark against the bone white of his skin.
"The northeast fort will not fall without intervention."
Sai coughed, spraying Kakashi's hand with spittle and blood.
"Let's get you to a medic," Kakashi said, assessing Sai for obvious wounds. There were none; he was bleeding from the inside out, which was never good news.
Kakashi tried to pick up his teammate, but Sai struggled.
"Aren't you... Aren't you listening? It will not fall!"
"That's not important right now," Kakashi said, lifting Sai gently.
The jounin that Kakashi had brushed off earlier caught Kakashi's sleeve. "Kakashi-sama, leave him! Weren't you listening to me? You must give orders or risk the central push failing!"
"Tell Shiranui Genma's group to continue but Hijiri Haruko's to fall back and regroup. Take the rest of it to Kawasie and inform him that I'm going to back up the campaign for the northeastern fort."
"But Kakashi-sama –"
"That's an order."
Though his concern was evident, the man nodded and stepped away. Kakashi took off at top speed for the medical camp, which was teeming with activity. The designated area for corpses was full, so there were stacks of them everywhere, rotting in the sun. More of them were Sound than Leaf, but it hardly mattered anymore. Kakashi was momentarily transfixed by the sight of a girl with a Sound headband on a head that lolled on a broken neck. A fly landed on her one remaining sightless eye. She could not have been more than thirteen.
Kakashi tore his eyes away from the girl to enter the main medical tent. He almost slipped on the mud inside. How strange. It wasn't raining.
Oyone trotted up to him, his face a blank mask of weariness. Even Oyone's customary smile and perpetual cheeriness were victims of the war.
"How can I help you, Kakashi-sama?"
"Heal this man immediately."
Oyone looked down. "I'm afraid he will have to wait. We have no more beds and even fewer free medics."
Kakashi's ears began to pound. "Did I ask how many free beds you had?"
Oyone stared at his feet. "I'm sorry, Kakashi-sama, but I only have so many resources. I'm at my limit."
Kakashi looked to the bed at his right; a medic was frantically pumping chakra into a chuunin whose name he had forgotten that was bleeding profusely from the stump that used to be his arm. To Kakashi's left, though, was a moaning Sound nin.
Shifting Sai so he could be held with one arm, Kakashi flipped the bed so that the Sound nin fell into the mud with a splat and a scream of pain.
"There. Now you have a free bed."
Oyone rushed to the Sound nin's side, hands flaring with healing chakra. "Kakashi-sama, regardless of his headband, that man is still a patient! You can't just –"
"I can, actually. This man is our best messenger scout and he's vital to the war effort. My job is to know these things. Your job is to do as I say. Now stop healing the enemy and save your chakra for your new patient."
Oyone stood, flushing. Kakashi noticed the man's fists were clutched so tight his knuckles flared white, but Kakashi didn't care.
"Yes, sir," Oyone bit out.
Kakashi laid Sai gently on the newly unoccupied bed. Weakly, Sai clutched Kakashi's vest.
"Why?"
Kakashi gave Sai his best smile, eye turned up in gaiety. "Maybe it's because you don't call me Kakashi-sama."
Oyone moved in to assess Sai, so Kakashi left the tent, each footstep making a loud squelch.
As Kakashi stepped back into the deceptive sunshine, he wiped the filth on the bottom of his shoes in a patch of clean grass. When he saw that the muck was more maroon than the expected brown, Kakashi frowned. This wasn't really mud; it was blood mixed with dirt.
"Anyone not specifically re-assigned as a prison guard or medical assistant, follow me to assist our forces at the northeastern fortress," Kakashi called hoarsely.
Even though his throat was raw from shouting all day, the ninja all snapped to attention. They knew an order from their commander when they heard one.
Kakashi signaled in the air which formation they should take and they sprang into action.
Kakashi woke with a start, half expecting to be fighting the commander of the fortress again, a man whose song had the power to rupture internal organs.
Kakashi tried to wipe the cold sweat off his brow, but met resistance. His hand had a needle in it, attached to a tube.
He remembered now, at least a little; the battle was over. He must be at some sort of hospital. He glanced at the floor with his unbandaged eye, half expecting pools of dirty blood but instead finding white tile. He was in Konoha, then.
Kakashi didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, but he lifted a leg experimentally, testing his ability to escape. The leg felt as heavy as if it was made of lead and the mere act of moving it exhausted him again. He slipped back into dreams.
Kakashi didn't mean to throw the full bedpan at the medic with the crooked nose. He really didn't. But this was his second day in the hospital and it was absolutely unconscionable to not let him take a crap in a proper toilet.
The sickening sound of feces spraying the walls was satisfying for a full minute before Kakashi realized they could simply refuse to clean it up.
"Sorry about that, Sleepy," he told his roommate after the medic fled the room, gagging.
Kakashi was sure his roommate didn't mind; he was in a coma, after all. All in all, Kakashi had never had a better hospital mate.
Kakashi shoved the corners of his sheet up his nose to block the smell and settled down for a nap.
The dreams returned. Kakashi struggled to cover the retreat of a platoon through the mire of Rice Country bogs, sending wave after wave of clones at his adversaries. Kakashi stumbled over something; it was a leg, stuck in the marsh, quite separated from its previous owner. The image of a man erupting in a fountain of blood faded as Kakashi was suddenly standing in the smoldering ashes of Otogakure's main village, listening to the soldiers chanting Naruto's name in victory. The images changed again and again as he tossed fitfully in his sleep.
When Kakashi awoke, he was in a different room altogether.
His old roommate was gone, replaced with a teenage girl in a leg cast surrounded by tittering girlfriends.
His jaw dropped in horror. "Where's Sleepy?"
"His name is Jirou," the black-haired girl in a medic's uniform said, looking down her pert nose at Kakashi as if he were the contents of the bedpan he'd flung. "He's fine, but he has a better roommate now. I had you moved here so I could keep an eye on you and make sure you don't do any more mean things to my uncle."
Kakashi put his pillow over his face, idly wondering how long it would take to suffocate himself and if it would be worth it to stop the incessant giggling.
Footsteps and a sudden upswing in girlish laughter told Kakashi that someone new had entered the room, just as Kakashi found himself becoming mildly interested in whether or not Gennai really liked Aiko.
When he discerned a few whispers, Kakashi removed the pillow from his face.
"Well, old man, has Shizune kicked you out of here yet?" Naruto said, Sai and Yamato in tow.
"Not yet," Kakashi said, "but not for lack of trying on my part."
"I wouldn't waste your effort," Naruto said, grinning. "Sakura-chan's too busy to nurse you back to health this time. She couldn't even get time off to come see you."
Kakashi sighed dramatically. "I suppose the hospital is crowded these days."
Naruto shook his head. "She's not here. She's doing something with Intelligence. Boring paperwork or something."
"You had better get used to paperwork if you want to be Hokage," Yamato said, putting a hand in Naruto's shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled.
The girls broke out in shrill titters anew, failing to hide their excitement at seeing Naruto so close and personal, for his fame had only grown after his flashy win over the leader of Sound. Kakashi put the pillow back over his head. He asked himself what he did to deserve this, but he already knew the answer.
The next day after lunch, Kakashi was finally released from the hospital after a lecture about behaving like a child from Shizune. He was still a little weak, but he'd been through this enough times that he was used to it.
But unlike usual, Kakashi was not given time to rest. He was put on light duty and ordered to report to Ibiki for further instructions.
Kakashi may have taken more time to travel from the hospital to ANBU Headquarters than was strictly necessary, but he was a recovering man, after all.
Headquarters was busier than usual, the hallways bustling with ninja but suspiciously lacking any ANBU uniforms. Usually, ANBU matters were kept quite separate from Torture and Interrogation, despite being housed in the same building and being led by the same man, but it seemed one had finally commandeered the other.
Ibiki's office was empty, so Kakashi descended into the department of Torture and Interrogation. He wandered, looking for Ibiki, trying his best to ignore the screams from the lower levels. The department was underground precisely for that reason: to muffle unpleasant noises.
Luckily, Kakashi found Ibiki without much trouble, observing an interrogation through presumably one way glass.
Kakashi's shoulders were tight and he didn't bother to force a smile as he'd been doing for days.
"Hatake," Ibiki said in greeting.
"Morino."
Kakashi followed Ibiki's line of sight. Sakura was healing the swollen face of a man with a Rock forehead protector.
She was wearing a version of her typical civilian outfit, but with a sleeveless off-white shirt that dipped low, giving both the prisoner and Kakashi an eyeful as she bent over, yet somehow making it look like an accident.
Boring paperwork indeed. Part of his tension bled away.
"This is a prisoner we managed to take in the Grass battle. He's crucial."
Kakashi clenched his fists. "Cut the crap. You know what I want. Give me the list."
Ibiki reached into his pocket and handed Kakashi a piece of wrinkled paper.
With a shaking hand, he took it. Everyone had refused him this so far, even Naruto, Yamato, Sai, and Gai, who had visited him in the hospital, mumbling something about Shizune's orders. They were all careful not to mention anyone else, even Sakura, until Naruto said her name yesterday. Anyone could be dead, anyone...
He unfolded the paper, reading the columns of names under Killed in Action. Those from his unit he already knew, but still, there were a few punches to the gut. Aburame Kota, Hagane Ren, and the list went on. Those he didn't recognize almost hurt more than those he did, because it meant they were more likely to be one of the fresh, green faces that had seen their first and last battle.
"We lost relatively few," Ibiki said. "Of course, that is how it should be, outnumbering them as we did."
Kakashi ignored Ibiki and moved on to the part of the list he knew already and yet dreaded the most. Missing in Action: Fuma Tobio, Namiashi Raidou, Shiranui Genma, Tobitake Daichi, Inuzuka Kiba.
All under Kakashi's care. All missing.
"They're alive, you know," Ibiki said.
Kakashi crumpled the paper in his hand.
"We're negotiating a prisoner of war exchange right now. That's why time is of the essence here. All hands on deck, even if they would rather not."
Ibiki nodded towards Sakura.
"I don't see how healing the bastard will help."
"Look more closely."
Sakura was cleaning the caked blood out of the prisoner's beard, chatting idly about her life.
"So that was their first kiss."
"Falling into each other's mouths, eh? Likely story. We'd call them fairies where I come from."
Sakura giggled, blushing. "You know what's funny is the thought never even occurred to me I was so mad. They hated each other, and not just for that, but I was so jealous he'd stolen my crush's first kiss that I couldn't be nice to him for a long time."
The man tried to laugh, but ended up coughing.
"If you'd let me give you something for that, I'd clear it right up," Sakura said, touching his face tenderly.
"No medicine," he said, rasping. "You could poison me."
Kakashi doubted Sakura needed the pretense of medicine to poison this man, or that she was as concerned as she looked.
"But Goroshi-san –" Sakura bit her lip. "— if only you'd tell me something I could give to Tonbo-senpai, something to make him stop hurting you. He'd listen to me. I know he would."
Goroshi clammed up, and Sakura left.
"He'll crack within days," Ibiki said.
"Why not use Inoichi for this?"
"He's got a block. Inoichi could get through it but it risks breaking the man's mind. He's the only Rock operative we managed to capture. If we return him with permanent damage, the deal is off. They'll kill our men."
"And you think Sakura will be the one to do it?"
"She has a talent for looking sweet and innocent with a touch of sex appeal. And, of course, she gets whatever information I happen to need."
Kakashi's eye flew to Ibiki. "Sex appeal?"
Ibiki shrugged. "Goroshi is a man and whatever women like to think, he's more likely to trust her, especially when contrasted with Tonbo. There's real tension between them, not to mention Tonbo's younger brother is one of the missing, so they sell the fiction well."
"So she's a skilled interrogator," Kakashi said, watching a man with bandages and a forehead protector covering his eyes begin to interrogate Goroshi.
"Did you think she wouldn't be?"
Kakashi shrugged. "It didn't seem like her style. I know she doesn't like it."
"Will you ever trust her?" Ibiki asked.
"I – what?" Kakashi's gut clenched at the unexpected turn of the conversation.
"I understand. You knew her when she was a child. But I need to know. If you can't, I'm going to pull her as a full time interrogator. Danzou knows it isn't what she wants, so he will do it."
Kakashi closed his gaping jaw, fearing he would look like a fish if his mask were off. "Against her will?"
"Better he think she is hidden away in her worst nightmare than be given the freedom to discover the truth of the matter."
Kakashi looked sidelong at Ibiki, trying to read his face. How much did he know?
"So you think he would truly be that vindictive? I know he isn't fond of reminders of the old regime, but Sakura sees it differently than I do."
"She would, wouldn't she? He hates her more than anyone. Connected to Tsunade, Naruto, you... And yet without any of your import. Take you out of the role people expect you to fill and they notice. Whispers of petty rivalry arise. Anger Naruto and we could all die, or at the very least Danzou loses the public. Squash Tsunade's protégé and no one notices, or if he's lucky, he manages to discredit Tsunade's judgment. And the Godaime is, after all, the biggest threat as long as she still lives, however nominally."
Kakashi stared as Tonbo began to savagely beat Goroshi, screaming for answers at each hit.
"And Shizune?"
"Is cleverer than Sakura, or more experienced. Shizune knows how to play the game, but Sakura went out of her way to make Danzou's transition as difficult as possible during the reconstruction and he knows it. Shizune has made herself indispensable and as long as she fills the role of the village's medical expert, Sakura cannot. They are too close to fight over such a position, but there are other roles available to Sakura, distasteful as she may find them. If she can keep her head down here, she can stay out of trouble, perhaps even while making a name for herself within Intelligence."
Kakashi fidgeted, nervously straightening the wadded up list. "The insubordination report damaged her position."
It wasn't a question, but Kakashi found himself hoping Ibiki would argue. Ibiki took the list from Kakashi, replacing it in his pocket.
"Yes, though in this case, the anonymity limits punishment. It does not, however, stop me from having reservations about the team. Most of your successes so far have been luck, despite each member's individual skill. No team can function without trust."
"No team was going to trust her when the Hokage made very clear she wasn't worthy to be a permanent member."
Ibiki's dark eyes pierced Kakashi's. "I am aware, and so is he."
"He would go that far?"
Kakashi had thought that Danzou giving Sakura an assignment that increased her chances of death twofold was an accident or coincidence, but Ibiki clearly didn't think so.
"It was your job to see through it. Your team trusts you implicitly, and if you had shown some confidence in her... I assumed you would, but the circumstances of the report made it abundantly clear that –"
Kakashi gritted his teeth. "What choice did I have when she blatantly disobeyed me? She put the whole team at risk."
Ibiki's eyes flashed. "You had no choice. You are obligated to report insubordination."
Kakashi suddenly felt weak in the knees, the relief at hearing it out loud almost knocking him off his feet.
"But it never should have gotten to that point. You didn't make a decision in spite of her medical recommendation, as is your right. You made a decision without her medical recommendation, out of lack of trust."
Kakashi bowed his head. He should have been angry, or indignant, but he wasn't. Ibiki was right, and Kakashi had known it all along.
"Still," Ibiki said, "the potential is there. You have moments of incredible teamwork, like that incident with the dog."
Kakashi didn't respond. Tonbo was done beating Goroshi and left him in a pool of his own blood. The image was one of the few that could still make Kakashi retch, flashes of walking in on his dead father haunting him.
"So you wouldn't have reported her in my stead," Kakashi said, voice dull.
"No. I would have congratulated her."
Kakashi whipped his head around to stare at Ibiki's stony face.
"That was the first I've seen her stand up to you. She used to follow me around when Tsunade and Shizune were occupied, always hoping I'd teach her something but never having the nerve to ask. It wore on my patience, at first. I'm a busy man and Tsunade-sama only asked me to let her experiment on the prisoners as I saw fit. One day I told her to go bother you instead. She said you were on a mission."
Kakashi suppressed the urge to flee.
"I'm a perceptive man, Hatake, and I also hand out most of your assignments. I know exactly how busy you are at any given time, and when you are or are not out of the village."
Ibiki turned to leave. "She's an exceptional student and you lost the opportunity to mold her in your image. I won't let you throw away her life as cavalierly. You think about what I've said. If you don't think the team can come together, I'll move her."
"And my assignment?" Kakashi asked through gritted teeth.
"Head to the Hall of Records. Your unique talents can be put to use there. I hear you're an avid reader."
Kakashi dragged a hand over his weary face. This may be the worst punishment that had ever been meted out.
Kakashi may not have been at the battle in Grass, but he felt as if he had, now that he had read what felt like a hundred after action reports from the time frame.
Rock thought they were clever, striking Grass when Konoha was preoccupied with Sound. They were warned, somehow – perhaps a spy along the road as Konoha marched – but chose to counter strike rather than shore up Sound's doomed forces.
Kakashi wondered how the hundreds of dead Sound nin felt about their alliance with Rock now. He went back to reading.
"We got word from Konoha that Rock was going to attack along the northern border, hoping for stealth. The Grass nin knew what to look for in the foliage, the signs of concealment that pinpointed the enemy. They built what firebreaks they could without detection and had Sarugaku Toru light the tall grasses, so dry this time of year that they went up like kindling. The Rock nin attacked through the flames, some of them ablaze but ignoring it as they..."
Kakashi's eye became unfocused. Most of the reports began one of two ways, from the beginning of the battle or as a reinforcement, with only a little deviation in the middle.
When would Intelligence learn that asking for the recounting of battles was a fruitless endeavor? Mass battles were fast, random, and battle lust reduced the memories to either a jumbled mess or false clarity with exaggerated details. There was none of the logic the Intelligence division wanted. No one stopped to ponder their surroundings or analyze the fighting style of the enemies.
It was the same with Kakashi's own report. In one scuffle during an ambushed effort to blow up a Sound base, Kakashi saw a fumbling middle aged genin make it out without a scratch and his talented, youthful chuunin squad leader take a stray kunai to the back of the neck, dropping instantly.
None of them had had time to notice anything about the attacking Sound nin except that when a particular woman with thigh-length jade green hair opened her mouth, it made a sound like a gong had been struck. Kakashi could not remember her face, or what the sound was like specifically, but he remembered the sheen of her tresses in the sunlight and the shiver of his spine every time the booming noise fell from her lips.
Every time the sound happened, those nearest to her stumbled and were killed for their folly, foe and ally alike. Kakashi had been forced to warp her with his Sharingan. Her ability had been unique, as far as Kakashi could tell. For that incident, all his report would really mean was that life was unfair and that the village formerly known as Sound formerly had a kunoichi whose hair was slightly more remarkable than her still-mysterious abilities.
Battles were about killing, not fighting. But such was it that most of Intelligence had seen few, if any, battles. The spy network was comprised mostly of genin not destined for soldierhood. They were as important to Konoha as the Hokage himself, but still failed to understand the basics of battle, leading to this exercise in futility...
Kakashi skimmed the rest of the report in his hands, marking it with the symbol for Grass, the date of the battle, and the Intelligence symbol for "report detailing injury to Konoha operative," then filed it alphabetically with similar reports.
Kakashi went back to the bin to get the next unfiled report and stopped short. Sakura was there, skimming a document.
She looked up. "Oh, Kakashi. They have you doing this too? I didn't even realize you were out of the hospital. Sai said you collapsed from chakra exhaustion as soon as you got back to Konoha – five feet beyond the gate, in fact."
Kakashi tapped his covered Sharingan eye to tell her why.
"I figured."
They said nothing else, but worked alongside each other. When others got between them, filing their own reports, Kakashi and Sakura eventually drifted back together.
Kakashi tried to remember why it had seemed so important to avoid her before, but couldn't recall any particular reason – just that every time he saw her lately he wanted to run in the opposite direction, so he did. He wondered if she was mad, but she didn't seem to be. Kakashi recalled Ibiki's words; Sakura was rarely as angry with Kakashi as she should be.
Sakura filed one last report before it was time to go, stretching and rubbing the back of her neck.
"Moegi was burned badly, did you hear? She's at the hospital in Grass. She'll be all right but there will be some scarring on her arm."
Kakashi hummed in response, his eye following the curve of her spine as she bent backwards.
"What's something you've always wanted to learn but never got the chance?" he said suddenly.
She straightened, staring at him. "What?"
"With the department so wrapped up, we aren't likely to get a mission any time soon. It's a good opportunity to train. I owe you some time, don't you think?"
Sakura's eyes lit up as bright as her smile. "Really?"
He nodded.
"Let's go right now," she said, nearly bouncing with excitement.
She was belied by her stomach, which let out a grumble.
"Maybe dinner first," Kakashi said, and Sakura blushed, just as he knew she would.
Kakashi smiled. This felt right. The nearly endless opportunities to tease her were only the cherry on top.
Yakiniku Q was crowded with most of the ninja in the village at the moment, but they went there out of habit. It was familiar.
"So what did you study with Tsunade?" he said after the waitress brought them the meat they were now skewering over the table grill.
She stared at him as if he'd grown three heads.
"Besides medicine, I mean."
"Taijutsu. You've seen it before. Power, the art of evasion, what to do in the field as a medic and the like. Poisons, of course – how to make them, how to detect them, how to counter them, how to administer them silently, how to imbue weapons with them."
"How to immunize yourself from them," Kakashi said and immediately regretted it. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight.
Sakura ignored him, though the corners of her mouth tightened. "Gambling and hustling. That was mostly an excuse to travel to casinos, though. And exactly one genjutsu. You've seen it."
Kakashi nodded.
"I learned a lot of administrative and political things just by being around the office, I guess. I started on making medicines and lab work, but then Naruto came home and I never got very far."
Sakura smiled, the reminder of Naruto's homecoming enough to cheer her even now.
"And it wasn't just Tsunade. She was always so busy. She'd give me tasks and then look at the results, instruct this medic or that medic to show me the basics of something, tell me to shadow so and so for a day. I spent most of my time with Shizune, really. Tsunade always reviewed everything, and taught me a lot of things herself, but Shizune took point on a lot of medical techniques, the basics of poison, and the gambling. She's a much better hustler than Tsunade anyway."
Sakura smiled fondly. "Though Tsunade-shishou wasn't as bad as everyone thought. She was a front, a distraction for Shizune to fleece everyone for more than Tsunade lost. The gambling trips were always fun. I had them all to myself."
Sakura took a bite of food, snapping out of nostalgia. "Shishou preferred to work with me on more advanced things later on."
"And Ibiki? What did he teach you?"
Sakura paused with a piece of meat halfway to her mouth. "Do we have to talk about that?"
"I'm trying to see which areas need improvement, what you've covered."
Sakura sighed and set down her food. "I was trying to develop a chakra-based pain killer. That's how it started. Tsunade wouldn't help me because she wanted me to learn how to make jutsu for myself, but she did let me experiment in the morgue, and then on patients if they consented."
"That worked?" Kakashi said, pulling down his mask to take a bite and then replacing it. It was much easier to eat when he didn't have to hide.
"Obviously not. I had a certain lack of volunteers."
"Imagine that."
"Tsunade asked Ibiki to let me play with the prisoners. Her words, not mine."
He smirked but she ignored him.
"But it wasn't working. I was trying to manipulate the pain receptors with chakra, to shut them down when they would normally send pain signals to the brain."
"Seems logical."
"It is, but humans aren't logical."
Sakura sighed. "What happened was that it worked if the patients weren't aware they were supposed to be in pain, but the minute they saw a wound, they anticipated pain and overrode my commands to the pain receptors."
Sakura's brows furrowed as she stabbed a piece of meat on a skewer with more force than necessary.
"It was very frustrating. I thought Ibiki might have some insight into pain and how the body can overcome it, but he said if he was going to give me something, he wanted something in return. So he trained me as an interrogator. And after all that, I never cracked the jutsu. The mind is more powerful than medicine, sometimes."
"And the – interrogation jutsu?" Kakashi could see where this was going.
"Tsunade had given me an assignment to develop my own technique. You don't just fail an assignment from Tsunade-shishou."
Sakura turned pale at the thought.
"Ibiki-sensei helped me turn my research into something useful. It so happens that turning pain receptors on is much easier than turning them off. At first, that's all I could do. Now, I can control the level of pain, area of pain, and duration of pain. I had to teach it to any interested interrogators, but many of them can't do it at all and few of them can be precise enough to preserve the subject's sanity."
Kakashi didn't mention her Chuunin Exam, which had presumably come earlier on in the jutsu's development. He remembered seeing her when she returned to Konoha along with the others. He ruffled her hair and said congratulations but never bothered to find out the details of her promotion, consumed at the time with mastering the Mangekyo Sharingan and nearly always on the brink of collapsing in exhaustion.
"What else did Ibiki teach you?"
Sakura shrugged. "How to wear someone else's skin. It's hard to explain."
Kakashi sat back, finished with his meal. "So what's missing?"
"I thought you were supposed to tell me," Sakura said. "Wasn't that the point?"
"I could make suggestions, but there must be something. I can name things I'd like to improve for myself without much thought. Always know your weaknesses."
Sakura bit her lip. "Well, there is something I – Tsunade-shishou mentioned it, but we never got around to – and you helped the others with it..."
"Spit it out. What is it?"
"I'd like to find out my chakra element and train in it, but I can't afford chakra diagnostic paper. It's too expensive to ask for. I don't expect you to –"
Kakashi reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.
"You mean this? Don't worry about it. You don't need it anyway. It's just a shortcut."
"Really?" Sakura looked dumbfounded.
"Chakra diagnostic paper didn't even exist when I was learning my elemental attacks, though most people know just from their family line, like me. Hatake Clan have always been lightning users. Anyone can use any element, but may have an easier time with one over the other. It can be an uphill battle using an element you're not suited to."
"I tried to look it up at the library, but I never got around to it before the invasion, and so many books were lost..."
He slid the chakra paper across the table.
She slid it back. "I can't accept this. It's too much."
"The boys accepted it," he said, unable to say Sasuke's name out loud. "Why should you be any different?"
She shook her head. "Things were different then. They didn't cost so much."
"It's left over from Naruto. I bought it before the price hike."
"You could sell it if you ever need money. Especially if we don't go on missions for a while like you said."
"I don't need money, Sakura. My bonus from Sound will pay my rent for a year." He pushed the paper back across the table. "Take it."
The grin it had been a long time since he'd seen lasted until the paper turned to dust.
"Earth," she said, sweeping the remnants on the floor with a carefully composed look on her face.
"You're disappointed?"
"I was hoping for lightning."
Kakashi said nothing, thinking of Ibiki. Kakashi had never wanted to mold Sakura in his image. He tried that with Sasuke and he wasn't surprised it failed. Kakashi's image was nothing to aspire to.
"Tsunade was lightning. She could do some neat things with the electrical pulses in the brain and I thought maybe I could recreate them with Shizune's help."
Kakashi released his hold on a pair of unsuspecting chopsticks. "I think earth suits you."
Sakura leaned forward. "How so?"
"You already send chakra pulses through the ground, breaking it up. I'm sure there's a way to refine that effect."
"How do you travel in the ground like you do sometimes? Is that elemental chakra based?"
Before he could answer, the waitress stopped by their table.
"Any dessert for you?"
Sakura shook her head, not bothering to check with Kakashi. She knew he didn't like sweets. The waitress set down the bill and Sakura took it.
"Hold on. We're ready."
Sakura handed the waitress the bill with the money and the girl smiled.
"It's nice to see a woman paying for a date every now and then."
Sakura went a little red in the face but didn't bother to correct the waitress.
Once the girl was gone, Sakura turned to Kakashi, features set in determination. "Let's go."
By the time it was so dark that it was hard to see beyond the light of a glow stick, Sakura could break apart a rock in her hands using only chakra. Cheekily, she had set a couple of shadow clones to the task as well, but three was her limit. When they dispelled, she reeled with the information overload, but Kakashi caught her before she fell.
"I don't know how Naruto does it," she said. "I could never handle more than this. Completing a simple task is one thing, but telling them to train..."
"I never use them myself. Drains my chakra too fast."
"No kidding," Sakura said, taking a few wobbly steps. "It doesn't hit until the end, all at once."
She frowned, leaning against a tree. "And for what? I can already tell this will take forever."
"It's not a type of training to be undertaken lightly," Kakashi said, propping her up without comment. "We can work on something else if you'd like."
"No, it's worth it."
"It won't take as long as you think, with your chakra control. It took me almost two weeks to break the rock and I had already trained in the lightning element. The basics are usually the hardest part."
Sakura leaned on him as they walked along. When they got to the place they'd normally split up, Kakashi hesitated.
"Why don't you just stay with me? You'll collapse before you get home."
Sakura thought about it for only a few seconds. "All right."
When they got up to his room, Sakura wasted no time at all sliding underneath his shuriken blanket, eyes already fluttering closed.
Kakashi followed suit, taking the time to brush his teeth and take a shower so he wouldn't have to fight her for it in the morning before slipping into bed beside her. She was already breathing deeply, the chakra expenditure taking its toll.
He tried to read, but the hypnotic evenness of the rise and fall of her chest and his lingering chakra exhaustion combined to relax him into sleep.
This time, he dreamt of the last war, of rock tombs and Obito's complete face becoming only half of what it once was.
"I can't believe you made me late," Sakura said, hands on her naked hips as she dripped onto his floor, fresh from the shower.
"Why didn't you tell me what time it was? I would have taken a quicker shower."
Kakashi smiled, taking perverse enjoyment in her ire. "I didn't know you had to be in at seven. I was told eight, so –"
She groaned, throwing a pair of pants at him. "You better get dressed or you'll be late too. Not like you care."
He chuckled, annoying her even more, and shambled into the bathroom. He dragged a comb through his hair and then handed it to her when she predictably came looking for it.
He lathered his face up, but when he tried to shave, the blade nicked his face.
He sighed. "Sakura, did you use my razor to shave your legs?"
"Yeah, sorry about that," she said absentmindedly, checking to make sure all of her pouches were intact before looking up.
"Oh, I didn't realize..."
She reached up with a green fingertip to heal the scratch. "I could shave you with a chakra scalpel."
She smiled wickedly when he blanched.
"No thanks," he said. "I'll get by with this."
By the time he was dressed, she was tapping her foot by the door impatiently. "Let's go."
"But Sakura-chan, a well-rounded breakfast is –"
She grabbed his arm and forcefully yanked him out of the door. "Let's go!"
"If you insist," he said cheerfully, eliciting a satisfying glare from her.
They ran along the rooftops, the fastest way to travel, and she split to head to the department of Torture and Interrogation while he was supposed to go to the Hall of Records.
He briefly considered taking a detour to the memorial, the prospect of annoying Sakura by being late a delicious one, but it was offset by knowing it would piss off Ibiki. He didn't want this assignment to become a permanent thing.
Today, Kakashi was sorting through reports of his own unit in the Sound invasion. Reading these was worse than yesterday; every death, every injury, was something he could have – should have – prevented.
"They had us surrounded. We were done for – we knew it – and Captain Kiba and his ninken transformed into beasts and screamed for us to run, to make it out alive if we could. Only half of us did. I thought for sure Captain Kiba was dead along with the others, but his whole squad stayed with him to fight. I found out later that of them, only Sumiko went down. Captain Inuzuka Kiba, Fuma Tobio, and Tobitake Daichi were overwhelmed and taken captive. I know you want the details of how Sound managed to take them, but I don't have them. No one does. They sacrificed themselves so that we could make a break for it, and not retreating as ordered would have been against the ninja code."
The report in Kakashi's hands began to shake, blurring the words. It took him a whole minute to realize that it was his hands that were really trembling.
"Are you all right?" Sakura said, startling him. "I shouldn't have made you skip breakfast. Here, I brought you this."
She handed him a bento box. He hadn't realized it was lunch time already.
The Keeper of Records on duty passed by, eyeing them suspiciously. "You have one hour. No more."
She waddled away, correcting everyone she passed in some way.
Sakura giggled. "Well, sorry all these people are here helping you do your job!"
She turned to Kakashi. "Come on. That old bat doesn't like it when people eat in the Hall."
They ran to the nearest training ground, sitting to eat.
"Ibiki said if I'm late, I must be overworked, so he let me off record duty after today. I'm still on interrogation, though."
"Until you crack Goroshi?"
She paused with rice halfway to her mouth. "You know about that?"
"I'm an important man. I know a lot of things," he said, feigning haughtiness with his nose in the air.
"Important man my –" she began, but his laughter cut her off.
She was fishing rice grains out of her shirt where she dropped them. She glared at him with her arm still down her chest.
"Shut up."
He behaved, going back to eating his lunch. After standing up and shaking out her shirt, she answered him as she sat back down, laying on her back.
"I'll be there at least until we crack Goroshi, yes, but he's not my only duty. At least I don't have to stay there overnight anymore since we 'rewarded' him with full nights' rest. Sleeping on the department bunk beds is disgusting. Plus, someone got a little fresh and I had to scare him into leaving me alone."
"Would it be so bad to stay with interrogation even after all this is over?" Kakashi asked, trying to look nonchalant as he leaned back on one elbow.
Sakura sat up abruptly. "What are you saying? Am I getting kicked off the team for good?"
"Not unless you want to be," he said carefully. "You would be safer there. Ibiki would protect you."
Sakura traced circles on her knee. "Is that what you want? To be rid of me?"
"I didn't say that, Sakura. It just seems like the easiest solution."
She stopped tracing and hugged her shins. "It's the easiest solution to stick me in a dead end career? To end up like the others, calling myself an elite chuunin because I'll never be promoted, never use my master's training for anything but to heal wounds I inflicted, so I can do it again?"
Kakashi reached out and brushed a falling strand of hair behind her ear so he could see her face.
"I had to make sure this is what you wanted. It's dangerous, what we do, especially for you."
Her face contorted as if she'd bitten into a lemon. "Why, because I'm a chuunin?"
"No. Because you're a medic. Because you're a woman. Because you aren't afforded the advantages a team is supposed to have."
She looked up, features smoothing.
"Every ANBU team is supposed to train together, to become a true unit. I've been avoiding it because your fighting style is so distinctive. That's going to stop. Your life – the team's lives – aren't worth risking to maintain some arbitrary secrecy."
Sakura smiled, resting her head on her knees. "That sounds good."
"But first, I want to show you some things. Chiyoko can fight differently than Sakura. They might guess, but we won't make it easy for them."
She nodded, returning to her food with a smile on her face.
They filled the last thirty minutes with Sakura and three clones trying to reform rocks in their palms after breaking them. After quick deliberation, they left the clones to struggle alone before returning to the Hall of Records.
Just as before, they worked alongside each other until Sakura had to step out to go to the Department of Torture and Interrogation. Whenever she returned, she found him again.
The day passed in silence and when it was dinner time, they left and found the nearest diner, no discussion necessary.
"I have a question," Sakura said after they ordered.
He made a hand motion to indicate she should go on.
"Are you only helping me train to distract yourself from Kiba and the others still being prisoners of war?"
He looked at her sharply. "I – I don't think so."
"So you are." She looked crestfallen but tried to hide it, playing with her tea. "I saw your face today, reading the reports. I understand."
"That's not the reason," he said, but she didn't seem comforted.
She began to tear her chopstick wrapper into tiny pieces.
"You called out Genma's name in your sleep last night. I know I'm not the only one with nightmares... I really do get it. I don't mind, if it helps you. Maybe it's even better, in a way."
Kakashi frowned. "Better than what?"
She pasted on a smile, though she continued to shred the paper in her hands.
"Nothing. Like I said, it's for the best. I'm hungry, aren't you? Where's our food?"
She was giving him an out, as she so often did. He knew what she expected now; she expected him to take the bait, drop the subject and pretend there wasn't something beneath the surface. They had played this game since she was a genin. They gave each other meaningless platitudes like presents wrapped in pretty paper, never meant to be opened. He had always been grateful for that and for the way she never questioned his absence after Naruto left.
With Naruto and Sasuke gone, something was imbalanced. When Kakashi saw Sakura, he couldn't summon any reassurances for her, even empty ones, as he always had before, and it made him want to turn around and walk away, so he did. But he saw her only rarely. Kakashi had assumed that, like him, Sakura was busy and found it harder to give their customary gifts of hope and so had avoided Kakashi all together – like he had her. Beyond that, Kakashi never thought too deeply about it, but he found himself doing so now.
He inspected her face that seemed so nonchalant but was belied by the tension in her fidgeting fingers. "I wanted to do this because it's right. That's it. No other reason."
She tore her gaze away from her hands to look up at him, eyes widening almost imperceptibly. He had broken the tradition. Her fingers were shocked out of ripping the last piece of wrapper into a perfect, tiny square.
"It... It helps to be doing something," he admitted. "But it could have been anything."
"Okay," she said, leaving the remaining piece of wrapper its dignity and sweeping the mess into a little pile at the edge of the table. "You know we're going to get them back, right? It's just a matter of details – whether we exchange an equal amount of prisoners or all of them, mostly."
He said nothing.
"Going after them would just get them and the rescue team killed. They're in Rock now."
The waiter brought their food, but they didn't touch it. She was looking at him now, gaze keen and searching.
"You couldn't have done anything. You weren't even around at the time."
Kakashi's jaw clenched. "I should have been. It was my orders that put them in those situations. No one else's."
Her hand slid forward on the table until it was close to his, but stopped just short of touching. "Kakashi, your side of the assault got hairy and no one can predict the outcome of every –"
He withdrew his hands and used them to snap apart his chopsticks. "That was my job, and I didn't... I didn't give it my all. Sai was injured and I was so distracted, I – I gave the order for Genma's platoon to press forward and another to fall back. I knew they were in a tight spot, but I thought they could... I didn't think enough."
He ignored the way she was scrutinizing him, eyes somehow shrewd and soft at the same time, and tried not to look at her when she finally spoke.
"I used to play shogi with Shikamaru sometimes, you know."
He took a bite of food as an excuse not to respond.
"Asuma-sensei taught me how, when we were preparing for the Chuunin Exam, but I preferred playing against Shika. He would always win, but he was so brutally honest about my mistakes and weaknesses that I learned more from him."
She took a bite of food as well, and though her studiously casual mien wasn't fooling Kakashi, he appreciated it nonetheless.
"One thing in particular stuck with me. I said I felt like a better strategist for playing with him, and Shikamaru said not to put much stock in it, that games weren't battles and battles weren't games. Real life isn't shogi because we'll never have complete intelligence on our enemies or the time to sit and think of the best strategy to take them down. Split second decisions are rarely perfect, but unlike when playing shogi, waiting can be more dangerous than choosing an imperfect strategy."
Kakashi tensed, waiting for the next probing question.
Sakura just smiled softly, genuinely this time. "If you had known Shikamaru in the Academy, you would never have believed he could say something as smart as all that. Just expending the energy to speak the words would have been too much for him back then. Funny how things change, huh?"
When she showed no indication of steering the conversation into uncomfortable waters again, Kakashi relaxed.
They ate the rest of their meals quietly, Kakashi thanking his lucky stars that it wasn't Naruto or most other people that would yap his ear off sitting across from him. One thing that could be said for Sakura is that she knew the value of silence.
When they were done, he put more than enough money to cover the bill on the table, standing up. Sakura followed him to a little shack deep in the woods.
"What's this?"
"Yamato built it for me and Naruto before there were apartments. It's pretty basic. He didn't have much chakra to spare in those days."
"I remember." Sakura peeked her head inside. "It looks like one of the homeless might have found it for a while. There's a ratty blanket and some trash."
"Hardly surprising."
"So why are we here?"
"Sakura fights best in open spaces, where she can power up her strikes. Chiyoko is ANBU and may not always have the luxury of space."
"I see," Sakura said, stepping inside the small building.
Kakashi followed her inside. He rushed at her, sweeping her legs from underneath her and locking her arm behind her back. He squatted over her thighs, easily negating her struggles.
"Sometimes you have to fight close. Maybe you're in a building, like this one. Maybe you're just looking to throw your opponent off guard."
He flipped her over and she found room to break free, gouging with a pointed hand at his left side.
He sidestepped, slamming her into the wall of the empty room with his shoulder, pinning her with his body.
"Get in your opponent's face. If you're lucky, it will put him off kilter."
He pressed harder against her, her breath tickling his neck. She flailed, kicking her legs that didn't touch the ground and trying to reach around and strike his top vertebrae through his vest.
"Being so close makes them uncomfortable. He won't be able to fight as he's used to. He might forget his training."
He grabbed her face and twisted while he pushed up, extending her spine. "He might lose control."
She bit his hand but he ignored her, knowing she wouldn't break the skin through his glove.
He removed his palm from her face and put it below her ribs on the right side. "You had the right idea, going for the liver, but this move exposes it better. If you're going for the kill..."
He slid his hand a little higher. "Try to break his ribs so it punctures the liver."
She stopped kicking and wrapped her legs around his waist. He tensed, thinking she was going to try a taijutsu maneuver he wasn't familiar with, but instead she ground her hips into his. One tooth hooked the corner of her mouth and she looked him right in the face as she sucked on her bottom lip, deliberately letting loose a little groan.
He almost dropped her in shock, his hand falling away from her ribs to pin her other arm to the wall. She pressed her lips into his covered jaw, rubbing her groin against his in slow, tortuous circles. Dumbstruck, his mind struggled to process what was happening – unlike his penis, which knew exactly what to do when a woman pressed herself against him with mischief in her eyes.
"Kakashi..." she breathed.
The heat of her breath fanned his ear before dropping down his neck. Her tongue darted out and dragged along his jugular. Even through the thin cotton covering of his mask, the wet heat was intense as she closed her mouth over the juncture of his jaw and sucked. With each lap of her tongue, his blood thrummed louder.
He stepped away from her and she looked disappointed as she caught herself before she fell – until she realized he was pulling down his pants. Almost before she could slip out of her skirt and underwear, she was pinned against the wall again, his shaft pressing into the pink curls between her legs. He was so hard it hurt.
She pulled him closer with her legs and it was his undoing. He shoved inside her, not caring that the sharp edges of her boots cut into his backside or that she wasn't quite lubricated enough – but apparently, neither did she as she gasped, clutching his vest for dear life. An arch of her back against the wooden wall pressed her breasts into his chest and spread her hair like a halo around her head. She made a little mewling noise in the back of her throat, and as it died, so did the last of his restraint.
He pumped hard, bucking her against the wall in a repetitive slam slam slam. The flimsy shack shook in time with his movements. She bit down on the shoulder of his flak jacket, muffling the groans and small whuffs of impact that escaped her. He kept going, mouth open against the top of her head, until the constraint of their position was too much. He lifted her effortlessly, her legs tightening around him as he spread her on the roughhewn table.
She wriggled underneath him, trying to get more comfortable on the slab of wood, and the movement drew a strangled groan from him. Her shirt rode up as she shifted, bunching loosely just above the indentation of her waist. On impulse, he groped over the curve of her hips, went beneath the shirt, and then forced his way under her flimsy bra to roughly tweak her nipple. She cried out, pawing blindly for him with one hand while the other braced against his chest. Her fingers found purchase in a lock of his hair and yanked, making him hiss – but as he leaned forward and grabbed her ass to raise it higher, their hold loosened and trailed down his face, lingering on his lips before gripping his vest for leverage. The new position didn't give her any way to cover her mouth, and her guttural moans that jerked with each thrust of his hips spurred him into an even more brutal pace. It didn't take him long to reach completion. He leaned over the table, still inside of her, and rested his head until he felt he could move again.
After a while, she said, "There's more than one way to catch an opponent off guard, isn't there?"
All he could manage was a grunt. He would feel bad for not making sure she was taken care of, but the smirk in her voice said she was a little too pleased with herself.
"Now get off me. I think I have a splinter in my butt."
He stood up, adjusting his clothing. He handed her the discarded skirt and panties but she was still on the table, turning on her side. He smirked as she craned her neck around to try and look at her own ass to check it for splinters. She reached around with a glowing finger.
"Just a scratch."
She sat up and reached out a hand to grab her clothes from him.
"Oh, shut up," she said when she saw his face.
"I didn't say anything."
"Yeah right," she said with a roll of her eyes.
But the flippant, amused look disappeared from her face as she hopped off the table. For a split second, she stayed on her feet, knees wobbling, and then dropped like a rock. She tried to catch herself on the table, but her hand slipped off the edge. She fell fast, but Kakashi was faster. He caught her and set her back on the tabletop, brushing her hair out of her eyes to look at her. When had she gotten so wan? He'd been too caught up in playing games with her to notice.
She smiled sheepishly. "My clones dispelled while we were ... busy. Apparently, I got distracted."
"We're done for the night. It was a mistake to leave those clones up all day."
"But they got pretty far, I think… Probably worth it."
She tried to get off the table again, but he stepped in between her knees to stop her, frowning. He tugged off a glove and lay the back of his hand against her forehead, which was cold and clammy.
"No, you're too drained."
Her brow furrowed as she pushed his hand away from it. "But –"
"Maybe you should take tomorrow off."
"No, Kakashi, I can handle it! Don't treat me like a –"
The look of panic skating across her features discomfited him, so he cupped her cheek with his bare hand.
"Everyone has limits. It's not weakness to know them."
Her mouth snapped shut, a bit of stubbornness retained around the edges. "I do know my limits. If we go to sleep early, I'll be fine tomorrow."
Kakashi hesitated, but nodded. "Then let's go."
"Move so I can get my things." She tried to scoot forward off the table again, but he was in the way and she was forced to stop, legs splayed open against his thighs.
"Let me," he said, not wanting her to fall again. He picked up her underwear first and hooked them over her boots, sliding them just past her knees. The skirt followed before he lifted her off the table and helped her to stand. Before she could reach for them, he pulled her clothes up her thighs. She wiggled to help him hitch the skirt over her bare bottom, where his hands unintentionally lingered with the zipper before he stepped away.
She tried to brush dirt off of her cream colored shirt. "This is filthy. We'll have to go to my place so my mom can wash this before work tomorrow. Ibiki only gave me one."
Kakashi wasn't sure he wanted to face her mother again but he didn't argue, replacing his glove and putting an arm around her to make sure she didn't stumble on the way home.
They entered through the balcony and he discarded the bare minimum to be comfortable during sleep while Sakura changed into what were probably supposed to be girlish pajamas with little smiling cherries in the print. Intentionally or not, the tiny tank top and loose pants so short he could see where the back of her thighs began their upward curve made her look anything but girlish. To his relief, Sakura went to speak to her mother on her own, laundry basket in hand.
When Sakura returned, she climbed into bed beside him, snuggling up to his chest. He froze; this was quite different than how they usually slept together, each person staying firmly on opposite sides of the bed. There were only two notable exceptions, and both of them followed sex, so he supposed this fit the trend. Upon the realization, he relaxed and let his arm settle into her waist.
"You know, this shirt is kind of scratchy," she said, still fidgeting. Already, signs of exhaustion battled with irritation on her face, her expression unusually open when she was this tired.
He sat up and pulled off his overshirt. After a second of hesitation, he followed with his undershirt and lay back down. With a big yawn, she settled flush against him and curled her head into the crook of his neck. She threw a leg over him, and in the process, he caught a glimpse of pink curls through a gap in her loose shorts. Without thinking, he ran a hand from her knee to rest on her half-covered rump, but she didn't react, her eyes already drooping closed. Though they had never spoken of it, he knew this was why they usually slept almost fully clothed, to avoid this sort of awkwardness. But just now, as her slowly deepening breaths lulled him into a sense of security, he could not care less about such things.
His sleep was peaceful, undisturbed by ghosts.
When he woke the next morning, she was almost ready to go. He threw last night's clothes on so he could leave with her, but they were running behind schedule still. He ignored his assignment and followed Sakura to the ANBU Headquarters. She looked at him oddly but said nothing.
When they entered, Ibiki was standing in the front hall, talking to someone.
"I'm not late!" Sakura yelped, breaking into a run towards wherever she had to be.
Kakashi waited in the hall for Ibiki's conversation to be through. Ibiki got the hint and sent the interrogator on his way.
"Well? Have you come to a decision?"
"I trust her," Kakashi said. "I'll make it work."
"Very well."
Ibiki turned to leave but Kakashi grabbed him by the arm.
"Don't let them care about being in the weak position. If Rock wants all of the Sound prisoners, give it to them."
"If we look weak, we invite more battles. More will die."
"If they attack again, we'll meet them on the battlefield. Our men are counting on us to bring them home. We can't let them down."
Ibiki scrutinized him, dark eyes unreadable. "You are your father's son after all."
For the first time in a long time, Kakashi was glad to hear it.
A/N: Thanks once again to my lovely editing team headed by Spike Dee. This was one of my favorite chapters to write, for whatever reason, so I'm happy to share it with you all. Thanks for reading, and drop a note if you are so inclined.