Title: The Darkside of Twilight
Rating: M (which means there are complex plot devices, lemons, decapitations and lots and lots of blood)
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns twilight. She is Bella's creator. I am Bella's Executioner. (and this is the story that I kill her in)
\/Darkside\/
Question:
"This is not remarkable, for, as we know, reality is not a function of the event as event, but of the relationship of that event to past, and future, events. We seem here to have a paradox: that the reality of an event, which is not real in itself, arises from the other events which, likewise, in themselves are not real. But this only affirms what we must affirm: that direction is all. And only as we realize this do we live, for our own identity is dependent upon this principal."
—Robert Penn Warren.
Or… just accept that some things are unexplainable…but life still goes on.
Answer:
Chapter 26: You're a part of me or Go ahead bloodsucker… make my day
\/Darkside\/
BPOV (the next morning)
Everything seemed a little bit brighter as our massive caravan hit the highway in the early rays of the breaking dawn.
It was some odd satisfaction to have faced off and won this round with the villain Volturi. As I had felt many times since becoming a vampire, there was just a sensation that told me I had faced a moment like this before… and not walked away so lucky. It made me continuously look over my shoulder as Edward drove the Vanquish at a Cullen-approved speed.
"Edward?" I said tugging gently on the hand that was clutched tightly in his as he drove.
He said nothing but smiled at me. I smiled in return. How effortless this bond was between us. The car buzzed with that odd energy that our bodies created when together. "Are you sure it was the best thing to let her come along… either of them Jane or the girl? We should know better than anyone how easily defenses drop when a stranger's loyalty seems too complete at first sight."
"Bella," He said with his soft almost fatherly voice. "You worry too much. They can't mask their thoughts or feelings from us."
I frowned. "The girl can. You said her head is as silent as mine." He nodded with a dark frown but said nothing. "How does that work by the way? What does a shield do?"
Edward drew in a long deep breath. "Shields have a natural defense embedded in their psyche that protects them from other gifts. The girl's is a mental shield. She can hide her thoughts from me, or her mind completely from you. But she can't shield her body. Jasper can sense her moods and Alice… well actually Alice can't see anything involving the girl. It's as if… she has no future."
I was instantly heartbroken when he said it. How awful for her to lose all hope like that. "Why doesn't she have a future Edward? What is it about her?" His hand gripped mine tighter and he cast a troubled glance out of the corner of his eye. "You feel it too don't you?" I watched him with weary eyes. I couldn't explain it to anyone but Edward but when I was near the girl I felt… My free hand ran absentmindedly over my stomach.
I felt for her the way I did for this child growing inside of me. "Yes." He whispered.
"What does it mean? Who is she? I mean… she looks… she looks exactly like…"
"Me."
I nodded. It was striking. I had never thought Edward could look more beautiful but that girl was the best parts of him amplified and feminized. She was him… but better.
"With one exception." He said bringing a finger from our bound hands to my face. I closed my eyes and he traced my lids with a feathery touch. "She has your eyes."
I gasped as he said it. I remembered… the human remembered. Those dark brown eyes that looked like melted baker's chocolate. The eyes that had drained of life in the face of a mortal father when I drank of his last drop.
"How Edward? How do we have a child that we don't know anything about? Look at her… she's… she's older than me."
"True. She looks to be about twenty five but so does Jacob." I scrunched my brows together as he compared her to Jacob. It seemed all too familiar to draw the link.
"Why does Jake look so much older all of the sudden?" I felt like the kid sitting at the front of the circle on Mr. Roger's question hour.
Edward chuckled when he saw that thought in my eyes. "It's how the venom affects the blood. With us… we allow it to completely change our system—like draining the oil from a car to replace it with something new. It alters everything and eradicates the need for the human blood as it replaces that substance in our bodies. But with werewolves…it shares the body. It is a constant poison that infects only a part of their system. If any of them continue to phase for long periods of time they will feel more effects like we have. Immortality. Anti-aging. They already have the super strength and the healing abilities of venom."
"But…" I said as it hung in the open space in the car between us.
He smirked. "But it is just that to them Bella—poison. It can drive them mad. It can… you saw what it did to my mother. These wolves are slightly different from the original pack. They are descendants. They have genes that have traces of venom from birth. It is amazing but the pure venom that you supplied them seems to have accelerated their growth and aging by years once they tapped into it with the change." His eyes got that glazed look that they did when he was about to spend five hours away from me while he conjectured with Carlisle in the study.
I ran through it all in my head. One thing still bugged me. "And what is it about the girl that reminds you of the wolves?"
"Didn't you smell it on her?"
Perplexed I stared blankly at him. "What?" She smelled of many things—most of which reminded me of my family. She had large amounts of Edward's scent and even my freesia notes. But there were tinges of Carlisle and Esme mixed with even a hint of a scent I caught from Jacob at times. And Charlie. She smelled like the human's father.
"Yes." Edward said as if he had heard the part about Charlie out loud. I wondered if I was losing my block from his gift as I let my body sing with the happiness of his touch. He reached over to stroke the back of his hand against my cheek. "Her body is fueled by blood. And not venom laced blood like the wolves. It is a… some sort of combination. Some kind of hybrid of venom and blood."
"One of Alice's mutants?"
"No." His brows furrowed as he frowned. "She is… no. I don't know for sure. But… Bella, I sensed something when I was around her. I watched her fight. I saw her in Jane's mind. I heard her voice. She knows me. She knows you. The way she watched you after the battle…" I was unnerved by the sound of Edward's voice. I heard it only once before.
When Alice came to us with her vision his voice had sounded like that. Lost. Edward was afraid because he didn't know what to do. He had a hundred years of experience and no clue. I stared out my window for a second. A thought. Something that Erebos kept alluding to and I had dismissed at the time because I thought I knew the truth.
"Edward…" He turned with a troubled look that answered my question but I voiced it all the same. "Do you think… there's more to that apple business than Erebos has let on? Do… have we lived before?"
Suddenly thousands of tiny inconsequential moments were lining up in my head. Pieces that separately looked like scattered bits of nothing but when laid out together looked like chunks of a missing whole.
Alice's visions and the fact that she was the only vampire in existence who had ever had such a gift.
My feeling that I belonged with Edward no matter what happened—even willing to die that first day because I knew I would never really die.
The sensation that my family was simply that—a family that could never be broken.
A hope that Rosalie was not some evil that was unable to be redeemed.
My ease with Jacob and the nagging suspicion that at one point we might have confused that bond with romantic love.
The Volturi… a less than victorious showdown in a life that possibly ended too soon.
Renesmee… the child I didn't know I had.
I rubbed my stomach. The worry was building to some blackness in my mind. Like Alice I felt I could see the future- but I felt that the dark absent future of Renesmee was shared by us all. "When will he return?"
Edward sighed and rolled his eyes. "You didn't see her Bella… she…she was even more of a Newborn than you. And he has a serious issue with touching her… it will take time. And I will not deny him all that he desires. He is my father. And she is my mother and…" He snickered. I was confused.
"Sorry Love, it's just… I can't wait to see what he thinks of her temper. She used to stomp her foot when Aro didn't give her what she wanted."
"You hate it when I stomp my foot."
"Yes… but it's not your foot and my feelings that I am laughing at." He gave me that crooked smile and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
No… I felt something stronger. I gasped—my hand moving to feel it once more. Edward slammed on the breaks. His breath stopped and his hands clenched the stirring wheel and my hand with white knuckles.
His eyes were wide but they staid focused on the road and not on me.
I felt it again and caught my breath at the sensation. Wonder. That was all I could describe it as. I was washed in wonder.
"Edward…" I whispered. Why didn't he want to share in this?
His face was fierce as he sat in intense concentration. I cocked my head to the side to figure out what was going on inside his head.
All at once he turned his almost tormented face toward my stomach while he pried his hand from my grasp. He spread his palm wide over the center of the now more pronounced bulge.
How odd—it hadn't been that big yesterday morning.
He held his hand still for a second in one spot and then moved it to another—like a doctor with a stethoscope. I sat like a specimen and sighed. It was useless to try to speak to him—he would only glare at me until he found what he was looking for.
"I can hear them." He whispered—his voice filled with the wonder of my previous moment.
"You… what… THEM!"
"Yes." He looked me in the eyes then. And I would have been reduced to tears if I was capable of crying.
"I can hear their minds—there are two. You're carrying twins."
\/Darkside\/
Jacob POV (back at Cullen Cabin in Chicago, same time)
Clothes. The first priority was finding clothes. We needed to work out a system for this. It was only the second time any of us had actually phased. We weren't used to remembering clothes.
After the brisk introduction of the only guy I felt like cowering in front of in my life was over I worried about clothes. Bella's mate was a pretty intense, yet cool guy. Cool was probably an understatement. He was freaking Clint Eastwood with his steely jaw and cold stare. Resist the urge Jacob… Go ahead bloodsucker, make my day. Bella would have driven me into the ground if I embarrassed her like that. And I had to admit, he was freaking terrifying with that gift of his. But the weird thing was he was in my head. I could almost feel it. I couldn't block him from my thoughts no matter what I tried. And though there was obviously no need to worry as Bella ever only adored him, he was searching for any funny business between the two of us.
The bond between Leader and Alpha was hard to explain. But only Bella and I had to understand it. Everyone else could just go screw themselves.
Anyway, after he got over his first impression of me, he let the doctor tell us about the house and the promise of clothing. It was probably slim pickings for choices though. We were all built more like the big one—Emmett. Seth stole some of Edward's clothes even though he was still way to short to wear them.
I rolled my eyes. Hero worship and he doesn't even know the guy… though I would admit if he happened to own a leather jacket I wouldn't be opposed to borrowing it.
Sam wore some of the doc's old clothes—twenties style from what I could tell. Jared, Paul, Embry and Quil were battling over Emmett's work out clothes. I followed Leah to the psychic and the general's room—maybe he stashed some comics here too.
No such luck.
"Whadda you think?" She said coming out of the closet with one of Alice's dresses draping not even to her knees. "She really is a pixie." Leah sighed.
I smiled. "You look… nice. I suppose. You ever wear a dress before?" I couldn't remember it if she had. I'd known Leah my whole life. Everyone in the pack was like that. We just banded together naturally.
She looked down and scowled at the light blue dress. "No." She huffed and rolled her eyes when I crossed my legs as I sat on the bed. This naked around each other thing was weird enough with the guys.
Once she was gone I went through the drawers. Jasper had only two pairs of clothes. I guessed he had that many because Alice insisted he have more than one outfit.
I liked the guy. I knew he would be the hardest one to win over since he spent thousands of years fighting the armies of my grandfather personally. But… I respected him through just the pieces of his life that I could find hidden away in his homes. I pulled out an outfit that looked like it belonged in a Civil war reenactment. Grey. South. I shrugged my shoulders. Oh well. No use worrying about controversy at this point.
I decided to forgo the jacket—no need for it with my overheated skin. And rolled the too short sleeves up. The pants were nearly short enough to pass as long shorts but I resisted the urge to tear them off to make shorts. I wouldn't disrespect the outfit anymore than I had to. Shoes were useless too.
I went downstairs to find the other pack assembled in the front yard. My pack was rumbling in the kitchen. "Out back guys… and Leah." She rolled her eyes and they all did what I asked.
Sam stopped and shared a look with me. Don't be stupid Jacob. He said with his eyes. I could almost hear Bella's instant response—it would be easier to ask the grass to stop being green. I snickered to myself as stepped out on to the porch.
"Grandfather," I said coming up to the only other vampire-wolf Alpha in existence. If you had asked me three months ago where I saw myself it would NEVER have been here.
I mean use my power of imagination and I could see women… or money… or even my sweet ride all souped-up. But this. Here.
Rotting werewolf entrails and burning thousand year old vamp flesh… bluhack…
Of course then there was that feeling I was trying to ignore—the one that told me to growl at my own grandfather. Again—before I heard Bella's call, I was never anything but respectful and even a little in awe of Ephraim Black. But Murat—the first Alpha, he made the hair on the back of neck stand on end.
In many ways I could feel it. Sense it with my wolfy-senses. I knew his venom flowed from the same source as ours. But ours was mixed with our Leader's and just that shred of a difference put me on edge.
Wolves were volatile—the venom did that to the human body. Too much power. Too much potential. That just led to the blood corrupting the system. But not with an Alpha in place. If one of my pack was feeling the venom control them I could command it away. The pack mind gave me the pain and responsibility of the sickness and gave them the freedom to not worry.
But Alpha's were vulnerable. If we died… so did that control. And though I knew he followed a separate Leader. And though I knew that he didn't want to hurt me… wolfy-senses.
"Jacob." He nodded. I could see the clench in his jaw for the same tingle that I was getting about him.
"What called you here? I mean… well." Surveyed the battlefield. My guys… and Leah took down a good twenty or so. But there were over a hundred vamps down. And almost that many that escaped. And there were probably equal numbers of dead wolves.
Never mind the questions—it was obvious. We would've been pulverized without the support.
He nodded. "My Leader… he feared that this would be too great a challenge for the first battle that you faced. We were just here to help." His eyes narrowed and I felt that growl working back up. "We will leave the way we came. And… I will leave La Push."
There was a little bit of the original Jacob Black in me that said that was wrong. This was my grandfather. That was his home. But the wolf in me… that was our territory—my pack's. He needed to leave. We couldn't exist in the same place for a much longer time than this.
He nodded and led his wolves off. I knew it would not be the last time I saw them.
My gang sat huddled together by the back porch. Leah just kept staring back at the girl. I resisted the urge to look. It damn near pulled me out of my own hide to see her in my wolf form. I knew that when I looked at her with these eyes… well I had to send the guys… and Leah away before then.
"We're not leaving without you Jake." Seth said flexing his completely healed hand.
"Yeah. You are." They all dropped their heads at the same time as the Alpha command was issued.
"One day you're gonna regret using that Black." Leah hissed. I doubted it. Bella could hide behind her want to not become consumed by her power. But even she knew that the taste of such control was like a drug.
"Be careful Jacob." Sam whispered. I shut the bond off. I could get in their minds without permission but they only got in mine when I allowed it.
"Head back to Push. Take the Volvo." I tossed Sam the keys.
Jared and Paul both scoffed. "That ain't no clown car Jake. That's an effing hatchback. How do expect all of us to fit." Paul's whining was getting on my nerves.
"You won't." I crossed my arms over my chest and grinned. "You just nominated yourselves the first two to run." Their heads snapped down before they could whine again. Thank god.
"In shifts—four ride, three run. Take the phone…" I tossed it to Leah. She caught it with one hand without breaking her stare toward the girl. I waved my hand in her face and she blinked up at me with that typical Leah scowl. "Call Bells to check in. I don't know how far behind I'll be…" The girl's pull was growing stronger the longer I was human and near her.
"Remember when you get back that the rest of the family… they're gonna be hard pressed to like us. Let Bells ease us in. So... Seth?" He looked up with his puppy dog eyes. I rolled mine. "Stay away from the house until she says its okay. We don't need to make waves with the rest of the Cullens and put Bella in that position."
They all nodded—even Seth. Though I could feel… shit. He was feeling this pull too. But his was already moving west. In the cherry red M3 no less. Damn.
"No Seth." I commanded. His head nearly hit the step in front of him with the weight of force I had to use. Damn that pull was strong—almost stronger than my command.
Leah looked at her brother in confusion. "What the hell?" She asked looking between us. I just shrugged and ignored her.
"Go."
And like that I was alone. With just the tug at my chest that was pulling toward that unknown girl sitting by the tree.
I took a deep breath. I thought about my father. I thought about my pack—Bella. I thought about the sweet collection of comics that Jasper had hidden in his floor boards. Every movie I had watched as a kid at the drive-in—eating popcorn in the bed of Dad's truck as I memorized every line. But when I turned around they were all gone.
There was nothing but her.
And there never would be again.
\/Darkside\/
Renesmee POV
He took three steps from the back door to reach me. I don't know what they were talking about before his pack left. I was too focused on the smell of the burning vampires' flesh. On his first step I wondered if my body would burn the same. My blood was half venom.
I sighed on his second step. I didn't really want to be drug through the mud one more time today. I didn't even have an excuse for this punishment. I was born. Now I'm in hell.
On his third step I felt the air woosh past me and my hair blew around my face. I gasped as he picked me up ran me in to the trees. When he put me down we were on the other side of the lake. And we were alone. No rotting corpses or burning vampire body parts. Just him and me.
He lowered me down—and my skin, though it had always been warmer that most humans, felt freezing cold next to his burning flesh. Jacob felt warmer to me now. Why was that? And it wasn't just warmer—it was like an electric pulse that was shocking my skin where it met his.
Before I could ask or even ponder it fully he settled me on to his lap and placed a hard kiss on my lips.
WHAT! My mind screamed but then my body moaned. What was happening to me? That pulse jumped to our joined lips and seemed to suck me closer to him. I shoved with all my might to force his lips off of mine. Well maybe not all of my might. I was enjoying the kiss.
"What the hell was that for!" I yelled. Wiping my lips but wishing desperately not to at the same time.
"It's what you need… what you want." He said with sure eyes. He leaned down and my struggles could have been from an infant for all the use they were. He kissed my cheek and my jaw and then moved down my neck. I stopped struggling by then and just held on to his shoulders so I wouldn't collapse into a puddle in the grass.
"Jacob…" I was breathless as I tried to speak. "What do you mean I want this… how do you…" I moaned when he kissed my collarbone.
"I don't know." He whispered against my skin. It caused tingles to vibrate from the spot when his warm breath kissed me. "I just do. I know you want me… you need me like this. And I can smell…" He cupped his hand between my legs and I was both excited and insulted all at once.
I pushed off with my reserved strength and he fell back.
"Back off dog!" I hissed.
He stared at me—blinking and then a slow smile spread across his face. "That's why you smell like her." He said. He laughed sitting up into a lounge with his arm draped over his bent knee. "You're Bella's kid aren't you?"
My mouth popped open and I gaped at him with shock. How did he know… other than my scent.
"Pah-lease… that piss and vinegar is hard to reproduce. Unless you… reproduce." He said with air quotes around the result of my parents' love making.
I rolled my eyes. I liked him better when I was a baby and he was just a devoted big brother.
He watched me with that look—the one Dad used to give Mom. The one that said he couldn't read her thoughts, but he knew exactly what she was thinking. My eyes started to tear up again. Dammit.
I flopped down on a big rock at the water's edge. "Jacob. You have no idea what its like to see everyone you love die… but…" Snot ran from my nose and mixed with tears. I ran the back of my hand across my cheek—I couldn't give a crap for how I looked.
"But that was nothing compared to standing here today and seeing all of you—with no one remembering who am I."
The look he got this time almost made me back up in fear. Steele. Yeah—I'd seen Dad wear that one too. Whenever anyone hinted at threatening Mom. Crap.
He inched closer. I could see all of the same questions in his eyes. Why couldn't he remember me? What were we to each other? What the hell is this girl's story?
"Where did you come from?" He whispered.
I rolled my eyes and groaned in frustration. There was that damn smirk again. Mom had never been annoyed with Jacob like this before—that was Dad's area of expertise. Weird.
"I was born three years ago… To Edward and, a then human, Bella Cullen. And… when I was… when I looked three years old," It was a little impossible to fully describe my whole story. Since I technically aged so rapidly that I was three years old within months of my birth. "The Volturi came to procure me for their menagerie." He rolled his eyes. I forgot. Jake didn't like those fifty dollar words as he used to call them. But he was smart. I wouldn't dumb anything down for him.
"We thought we beat them… thought they were afraid of my mother… thought they were heading back home without a fight." I remembered it. Remembered hearing the tearing of their flesh in my sleep. My parents were not shy about sharing in intimacy while I slept at night. How was I to know that what stirred me awake that night was the sound of their bodies being disassembled like the dead vampires on this field today—that I rolled over and fell in to a secure sleep because I trusted that we were all safe?
I glared with all the hatred in my soul toward nothing—and yet everything was shining in his black eyes when they met mine. He was apprehensive to speak. Good. I wasn't finished.
"I never saw them come. I didn't see my parents die. I didn't even wake up until I was already in Volterra." That was the worst feeling… until today. Feeling safe as I entered my dream world of a child—and finding my eyes opened to a world where I didn't belong. I deserved to die with them. If the world that I was born in was torn from this earth—I should have been too.
I sniffed again. Vainly I remembered how lost I truly was when I awoke. "I lost my gift—it was burned out of me when Alice forced them backwards… like I was never born…. Never allowed to be the me that I should have been." I was so lost without that part of me. It wasn't like any of the others in my family. None of the other gifted vampires could control a gift from birth. Not even Alice. It was more than an ability—it was my identity. And suddenly I was in a foreign place and lacking the one part of myself that was uniquely me. "Mom was changed by a different venom. She was… she needed my other gift, even gave half of it to my father, and so I ended up with her shield. I woke up—like this." It was something that took me almost an entire year to absorb. I became a tear in the universe—a paradox that slipped by the fabric of time. My history changed so the chemical make up of what made me, me could change too. It was almost like having a tooth pulled—if that tooth was a sequence in your genetic code and the device used to pull it was the very air you drew into your lungs.
My gift was sucked from me and this new gift wrapped itself around my mind almost immediately once the void was created. I was raped of my former self. I was violated. I sat in the dark room of the tower shivering within the shell of the life that I had become. Renesmee was no more. This body existed but it was only a body. The story of the soul and the aspects that made up the person that inhabited this flesh were stripped away.
And in the end I woke up not just fully grown for my species. I was a fully grown woman. I aged like werewolves did in their first phase of the change. My body shot up in age of twenty years in one night. When I awoke—the person in the mirror was not me. If it weren't for the memories—the ones so clear and sharp that they felt so real when I saw them in my dreams at night, I would never have known Renesmee Cullen. I was just Renesmee now. Renesmee of the Volturi. Shield of the Guard.
"Aro told me I was his. Told me that by not killing me… he saved my life. That if I had died I would have been like the rest of them—sent back to the beginning. But with my mother changing before she had me… I would never have been created."
This was the part that grew fuzzy in my mind. Mainly because I was never that big a fan of SciFi. I couldn't comprehend why my living at the moment time was changed matter so much. The Bella Cullen who carried and birthed me never existed—or at least not in this world. So why was I here? Aro would shake his head and wag his finger at me. Some things were never meant to be understood, he would tell me.
Bullshit. I hiccupped as I started to cry harder.
"How?"
This was the most confusing part of all. But I found the pages in her trunk. The day that I was hidden in their room. She kept them next to her deck of cards. I wondered what the rest of the diary said—it was located somewhere else. These pages were torn from the whole and kept from away from the rest. I only saw the pages that talked about the life I knew. They started the first time my Aunt saw my Mom—long before the family moved to Forks. And they ended the night my family died.
"My Aunt… She has this ability. Everyone has considered it clairvoyance for most of her life but it's really more of a… She can move through her mind… all of her minds… Step forward and backward to memories or visions of what she has lived before or will live later… And she just jumped back to the moment where my father didn't kill my mother… and changed his mind." Now if you could wrap your head around that—you could understand anything.
"Damn." He said moving into a crouch. I remembered that about him. Jacob liked to sit like that—he was never big on just lounging. He was always ready to run—on guard for a fight. But what he wanted to fight, I had no idea. Maybe he sensed the end in my future. There was a time when I knew without a question of a doubt that Jacob would fight with every last breath in his body to protect me.
"What…happened…" He cleared his throat. He couldn't meet my eyes while he tried to ask.
"To you?" I offered. He just nodded and fixed his eyes on the cabin that stood now on the opposite side of the lake. I looked over my shoulder and surveyed the massacre. Dead vampires. But dead wolves too.
I was resigned to remember that. That no one told me but I saw in my nightmares the night I was changed. I saw. Felt. Lived—Jacob's death.
A single tear slipped down my cheek. "They crushed you all in one swift strike. Aro… he sent the ones that had killed the Cullens. And while you slept—they killed you." My voice lost all sound at the memory. I had felt ashamed for so long over it. I had cried more for Jacob's death than for the loss of any of my family—even my parents. I felt guilty that I had not given them all equal amounts of tears. But losing Jacob… the final piece of Renesmee was torn away from this body- the soul. He was my match. My soul mate. When he died, so did that eternal part of me.
"Hmm…" I looked back to find him… thinking. Dangerous. "So what's your name?" He slyly slid on her butt to sit right next to me. His skin didn't touch mine but the heat rolled off of him in waves and that crashed over me like the crests of the swells in the black ocean that surrounded my more recent home of Volterra.
"Renesmee." I said simply. I liked my name. Liked what it stood for. I wanted desperately to hold on to it for the past three years as it was one of the few things left to me that proved I came from something- That, my hair and my eyes. Those were my symbols of where I came from. Where I belonged.
"Bella named you right?" He said scrunching his nose. I couldn't help but giggle. Not only did he look… cute, when he did that. But it was the exact same reaction he had to my name when I was born.
"Yes. It is a combination of her mother's name and father's mother's name." I watched him with careful eyes. Behind his I could see the wheels turning. He was coming up with my new shorter name—my nickname. I waited with bated breath to hear it from his lips once more.
"Hmm…" This time he held his finger to his chin as if he were Sherlock Holmes himself. "Nope. I refuse to call you that. It's more than a mouthful, and you don't seem like a Rensusmoo anyway." I rolled my eyes. He refused to pronounce it right before.
I was suddenly very happy to be around Jacob. Mother used to call him her sun—and for me he truly was. The center of my universe and the only entity to draw light back into the darkness that was my life in over three years.
"Ren." My head snapped up when he said it. What was he talking about?
"Excuse me?"
"Ren. That's what I'm going to call you." He seemed very pleased by his decision. I was perplexed. I rather liked my old name—it was after all who I used to be.
"Ren?" He nodded, and smiled. The smile made my heart flip but my mind was still seized. "Not… Nessie?" I offered.
His flinched and then burst out in one giant laugh. Ouch. "Nessie? Why the hell would I name you after the Loch Ness Monster?"
He continued to laugh. My smile was a grimace but his laugh was infectious. I found myself genuinely smiling wider as he continued to snicker.
"Jacob." That was all I said. My eyes told him a thousand answers to all the questions his kept asking. My body eased in to the pull that his was sending toward me.
And his eyes melted from glee to smolder in a single breath.
His lips were on mine before my mind could process what I really did want—or need. He eased us back on to the grass—he on his back and me sprawled out over him.
It was nice. It was warm and comfy. We just lay in each other's arms—kissing. Tasting. Loving.
The electric pulse buzzed through ever inch of my body. And his big hands were gentlemanly soft as they secured me to him but didn't push me too far. He really did know exactly what I needed. I just needed to feel this—know this. Our bond, my imprint, I would explain it to him later. But for now… I was just lost in the sweet slow burn of his tongue on mine and the taste of his soul on my lips.
This was home.
\/Darkside\/
APOV (on the road, with the rest of the Cullen cars, heading south)
Jasper was silent in the car. I could feel everything he felt but that only confused me more. He was so very angry. So… viciously terrified. He kept looking down at his hands.
"There's nothing on them Jasper." I assured him. I knew what he thought he saw. What he remembered from his human mind.
He sighed and looked out the window as if I hadn't spoken. Any other person might have been offended. I wasn't just any other person. And he was my other half.
I looked back at the sleeping girl. I wondered how long Edward's suggestions would last. I couldn't see her waking up before we reached South America but that didn't really mean anything anymore. I couldn't really trust my vision like I used to.
I still felt twinges from the imaginary torture.
"Alice…" He breathed without looking at me. I just continued to drive. He knew I was listening.
"Did they hurt you?" I gripped the stirring wheel to brace my body from the… raw rage that was pouring out of him. He would kill her. Not because he thought she had anything to do with my torture but because she was one of them—and he would eradicate any and all of them in the name of vengeance for what happened to me.
"No Jasper." I said in all honesty. "None of us were truly injured."
"That's not what I asked." His voice was laced with darkness. Oh Jasper… please don't do this to yourself.
"No." I said flatly. "They did not hurt me."
He growled and his hands balled as he felt my pang of pain. He misunderstood it as an effort to shield him from how badly I was hurt—but really it was just a pain of knowing I could not help him through this.
"Which one? What did they do?" I hated to see him like this. Like he stepped back in time and became the emotionless general again. And I hated that shell of an existence on his tongue or in his mind.
"Jasper. Look at me." He did without a second thought. And when he did his entire essence calmed and eased from the desire to fight. His mouth popped open and his fists unclenched.
"Alice. I'm sorry… I… We have to question her. There is an… identity in my mind that I don't understand—and I wish to erase." His voice was filled with so much sadness—hopelessness almost.
I sighed. One day I would find that bronzed hair bitch and tear her eyes from their sockets for doing this to him. She made him a murder—and then she made him forget. She found the twins when they were young—reminding her of her lost children at the dawning of our race. The girl was drawn to her—but Jasper was wise enough to stay away. That didn't keep her from trying to control him anyway.
She poisoned him—slowly. Venom madness. And like Elizabeth Masen, he was unable to control the rage and evil that was born within him from it. Yes. He killed his parents. But it was Alec's fault… Alec, the one who stole Jane from the family when she only a child. And returned to their home every night for a year to slowly drive Jasper insane while he slept.
Ten years after his sister was stolen and changed, Jasper was a ravenous animal trapped between the world of the living and this world that he was in now. He slaughtered an entire village—and came for his parents last. He drank their blood. Though his body could not process it. And when they caught him to kill him—she came back and bit him. Jane. His would be innocent but oh so corrupted sister.
She claimed it bloodlust but she was only following orders. And when Lilly "saved" him… it was only to serve her own selfish desires to preserve the son she felt Erebos had stolen from her.
But she had seen me—She saw me looking for him. Saw me protecting my family from Aro and his plans. And so she fought to hide him. Changing his name to Wilcox for Whitlock—sending her spies and assassins to kill me each time I was close to finding him.
But she couldn't see my diary. She didn't know that Jasper found my hidden clues and messages. And in the end he was able to break free and find me.
It would be a slow journey for him to accept what he has done. But that was the plight of the Cullen. A healthy dose of guilt kept us honest. All of this I knew—and most of it he was made to forget. But now with Jane's arrival his memories have unlocked and I would let his sister explain the rest. I needed to know her part in all of this anyway. I only knew the parts I saw—in his past that was still a future to me when I saw it.
"Don't worry my love." I laced my fingers through his and felt his need for me pulse through the joining of our skin. He smiled from the warmth it brought to both our moods.
"We will face this as we do everything." He kissed my hand at my words and eased back into his seat. If I were Bella I would swear that I had made him fall asleep. So drastic were his mood shifts these days—that worried me too. Though I refused to dwell on that thought with him so close. He needn't feel my worry. It would only increase his own.
"Together." He whispered and closed his eyes. I smiled. Together forever.
\/Darkside\/
Jane POV
I kept my eyes closed and listened—that wasn't my brother sitting with my enemy. He was the lie that had been created by the Mother. And the pixie bitch had no idea what she was protecting by not telling him the truth.
But then she didn't know the whole truth. No one did but me. She sent me to his cabin that day. She sent me to find the book—the one he carried on him like scripture.
And I found it. I read it. And I changed what was in it.
I slept in innocence to their wandering eyes—but it was my brother who was the sleeping evil… and none of them suspected a thing.
Perfect.