Chapter 13
"It looks like Saint Nick vomited up Christmas cheer all over the Great Hall," Severus mumbles grumpily as we walk into the Yule Ball, albeit reluctantly on his part. Well, reluctantly may be too tame of a descriptor…as if being led by a firing squad might be more appropriate. If I didn't know Severus's inhuman level of self-control so well, I might have thought he were on the verge of having a temper tantrum when I ran into him in the hallways on his way here. His elegant long fingers were hidden, clenched in fists of rage, and his jaw was clenched so tightly I was worried he would chip a tooth.
I can't really blame him; Christmas is my most despised holiday, and I can imagine it would be one of his as well. Valentine's Day might beat out Christmas, though, now that I think about it. I imagine for that load of greeting card produced excrement of a holiday he has the same painful issue as I do; being surrounded by reminders of a love you'll never have. Still, Christmas comes with its own nightmares. The 'holiday season' is trumped up as a time of good will towards men, family togetherness, and the innocent joy of baking gingerbread houses, decorating the tree, and making snow angels in the yard. Everyone is supposed to be so jolly and if you aren't, people look at you as if you are Evil incarnate. Of course, no one understands how painful this time of year is to someone who doesn't have a loving family, but rather one that makes them dread going home. I was lucky; I got out of that situation when I was 11 years old, but even those comparatively few years left more than enough of a scar, and no matter what, I can never seem to truly embrace the holiday spirit. For Severus, who I imagine suffered with his father far longer than I had to (even though he still won't talk to me about anything that personal), it must be ten times worse. That and, let's face it, my dark object of desire has never been what anyone would remotely call jolly.
"Albus definitely went a bit overboard on the tinsel," I agree, taking in the shimmering red, green, gold, and silver strands hanging off of every conceivable nook and cranny.
"Indeed," Severus agrees with a discomfited and mildly repulsed look on his face as he takes in the garish decorations. "Although that atrocity pales in comparison to the wretched carols he is blasting from the phonograph."
"That is painful," I agree with a grimace at the sound of infernally repetitious cheerful lyrics about 'simply having a wonderful Christmas time.' "Ok, enough Paul, we get it!" I exclaim, evoking a welcome, though surprising, half chuckle from Severus.
"I've always found the Beatles to be overrated," he says in a deadpan conspiratorial whisper as he leans in a little closer to my ear. My heart skips a beat as I smile. I had forgotten Severus's penchant for Muggle music.
"Most Brits would consider that statement treasonous," I warn with a smirk. "Luckily for you, I happen to agree wholeheartedly."
Severus looks genuinely surprised for a moment before schooling his features back into the unreadable mask he dons each day. Then he simply raises an eyebrow and gives me a nearly undetectable approving nod.
"Although," I continue, changing course again slightly, "there is one Christmas staple here that is even more loathsome than an abundance of tinsel and bad carols combined." I pause for dramatic effect as he scans the room for the vilest of all holiday traditions. He looks at me inquiringly with a teasing smirk after a moment, and at the same time, we both exclaim with disgust:
"Eggnog!"
His lips curl up in a genuine smile, one that seems it should be shared between co-conspirators, and I can't help but return it. I know it seems like an insignificant, stupid little thing to bond over, but the fact that Severus feels comfortable enough to discuss such inconsequentialities with me is enough to feed that annoyingly persistent little flame of hope that I can't seem to extinguish when it comes to him. Plus, it's just one more thing that we have in common.
"Severus! Eleanor! So glad you could both make it," Albus exclaims joyfully as he flounces over to us, wearing a deep maroon robe with white trim that, paired with his long white beard, makes him resemble Santa Claus to an alarming degree. Even better than the outfit, though, is what he is holding out in his hands. His eyes twinkle like mad as he thrusts the two goblets full of eggnog towards Severus and I. We glance at each other for a moment, and then burst out into laughter.
With my eyes tearing up slightly, I glance past Albus and see all of the other professors staring at us in what can only be described as shock. Minerva's mouth is hanging open as if she is trying to catch flies, Poppy is gaping like a fish, and Filius is clearly trying to say something, but the only thing that is coming out is a high pitched sort of squeal. This of course, only makes me laugh harder.
"I'm thrilled to find you both in such high spirits this evening!" Albus beams, either having no clue that we are laughing over the eggnog or, far more likely knowing him, basking in his triumph of purposefully offering us our most hated beverage and causing the fit of hysterics. "Tis the season to be merry, after all," he added with a guile-filled smile at Severus that I am sure aggravated the younger man. Before he can fire anything back, though, Albus has danced off to sweep Charity into his arms, breaking her out of her stupor at seeing Severus laugh, and twirling her to the insipid music before the official opening of the Hall to the students.
Severus and I look at the offensive glasses of eggnog in our hands, then by unspoken agreement, we pour them out into one of the dozens of Christmas trees lining the walls. Suddenly, Dobby pops up out of nowhere in front of us and happily takes my glass. I kneel down, knowing that the bottom of my deep blue dress is now skirting the floor but not caring, thank the Elf and give him a friendly pat on the head. He sighs deeply then begins shaking excitedly, profusely thanking me. He turns to Severus, seemingly steeling his courage. I have to stop myself from laughing at his forceful tone as he asks Severus if he can take his glass, and Severus's wordless hostile response of shoving the glass at the small creature.
"Bad blood between you and Dobby?" I ask casually after the Elf has popped back out of the room.
"He used to be Lucius's House Elf, well, one of them. I was often a guest at his house and I can only assume the creature believes me to be friends with his former tormentor."
"You're not?" I ask with genuine confusion. From the favoritism that Severus seems to show Draco Malfoy, I figured he was close with the boy's father, and had heard rumblings substantiating that.
"Slytherins do not become 'friends' with one another. We form strategic alliances," he replies cryptically. Before I can ask him to elaborate, though, there is a whoosh of air and a torrent of noise. The doors have been opened and the students are flowing in with the grace and subtlety of a herd of buffalo. The deep scowl on Severus's face makes me chuckle. He really isn't suited to this profession, is he?
We move to the side, avoiding the awkward stampede of hormone filled teens, and watch as the Tri-Wizard Champions and their dates are led in. Lily's poor son looks like a deer in the headlights, as the Muggles say, but his date is soaking up the attention like a sponge. Cedric Diggory looks as at ease as I have ever seen him, his usual jovial smile shining under the spotlights with his somewhat more timid date on his arm. After dinner, and some very uncomfortable dancing from the champions (well, really Harry was the only one who looked truly uncomfortable, although that Krum kid from Durmstrang was stiff as a board), the rest of the attendees are invited to join in. Most of the fourth years, and about half of the fifth years, all stand nervously to the sides, girls on the north wing and boys on the south. If I didn't know better, I would think they are about to rumble, like the Jets and the Sharks in my brother's favorite movie. I chuckle as I picture the students begin snapping their fingers and launching into ballet style fight routines.
To my vast surprise, a head of shoulder length dark blonde hair comes bouncing towards me, and I immediately recognize my young brother politely pushing his way through the crowd. His tan olive toned skin contrasts perfectly with his forest green dress robes, and his bright blue eyes shine like a crystal lake in the midst of a forest. It hits me all at once how grown up he is; I can't think of him as the little kid who used to grab at my pant legs every time I walked near him anymore. Sweet Merlin! My brother's a teenager! Now I feel really old!
"Ellie!" he calls out excitedly, waving as if his hand is having a seizure. Without so much as a glance around at the hundreds of teens surrounding us, he pulls me into a tight hug. I am further dismayed by the fact that he is only a half a head shorter than I am and, at this rate of growth, will most likely overtake me by the end of the year. Oh well, what can you do?
"Leo, what are you doing here?" I ask him as he pulls back and looks at me, smiling.
"I was invited by a fourth year," he beams proudly. "Granted, it's Carys's older sister and we're just here as friends because her boyfriend is a Muggle and she couldn't bring him, but still, it's pretty cool!" he explains without stopping for a breath. "You look amazing, sis!" he adds, causing heat to rush to my face. Great, now I'm sure I'm blushing. Damn it, Leo, you know I can't take a compliment! "Are you her date, Professor Snape?" he asks the stoic man beside me unabashedly. Oh Merlin, kill me now!
"No!" I exclaim in a harsh whisper before Severus can cast an Unforgivable on my little brother. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Severus, surprisingly, smirking at me. He must be enjoying my pain, the sadistic bastard. "Leo, we're here as chaperones. Chaperone's don't come with dates."
"Oh, okay," he replies insouciantly. "Do you wanna dance with me, then?" he asks, extending his hand and making a deep bow, his other arm bent behind his back in proper pureblood form.
Severus raises his brow inquiringly, apparently surprised at the display of old-world etiquette from a 13 year old. I admit, it's impressive, even if the phrasing of his invitation left something to be desired.
"Shouldn't you be dancing with your date?" I ask trying to suppress my chuckling at his exaggerated grace.
"She's in the bathroom with a group of her friends. Apparently they can't go alone," he shrugs. "Girls are weird."
"Well, in that case…sure, let's dance," I acquiesce, taking his extended hand and moving out to the floor. I can feel quite a lot of eyes upon us, but I don't care. If my brother isn't ashamed to be dancing with his sister/teacher, then I'm certainly not going to be ashamed to dance with him. He bows slightly again, making me chuckle, but I return the bow and extend my right hand for him to take. We do a traditional waltz for the remainder of the slow song, putting to use the dance lessons my mother forced me to take when I was a teen. Thankfully Leo has been taking the lessons for four years and really knows his stuff, thereby leading and preventing my messed up steps from developing into a disaster. Overall, we pull it off pretty well, if the cheers from the audience are anything to go on.
"Thank you for the dance, Healer Bradford," Leo says with an exaggerated uppercrust draw, and a cheeky smirk.
"You as well, Mister Rossi," I drawl back with a wink before we both dissolve into giggles and I give him a light kick to his backside. "Go find your date, Casanova."
He gives me a mocking glare that gives way to a bright smile after a second, and then runs off to find his friends. I drift back to the edge of the room where Severus has been standing like a dark statue, his eyes constantly moving along the crowd seeking out misbehavior like a hawk seeks out field mice.
"Quite a performance," he says with heavy sarcasm in his delicious deep baritone.
"Thank you Severus," I answer brightly, abjectly ignoring the sarcasm and causing him to huff under his breath. He's so predictable! "Catch any ne'er-do-wells while I was performing?"
"I broke up a few pairs of lascivious teens, yes," he replies with an edge of pride.
"Fantastic," I reply with a small smirk, admiring the way the fairy lights reflect in his intense pitch black eyes. Oh, to see those eyes staring at me, filled with passion! A wave of lust rolls within me, but I quickly temper it. Think about Albus naked! Albus naked! Ugh…okay, that did the trick. Still, I could use some cold air to calm my libido if I have to stand next to this striking and intoxicating man all night, particularly when the pheromones from hundreds of randy teens are suffusing the air! "Do you want to go check the rose garden for overly amorous couples?" I ask, hopefully nonchalantly.
Severus raises his eyebrow at me, contemplating my suggestion, but when the Weird Sisters take the stage and begin banging out loud, discordant music that is supposed to pass for rock and roll, he immediately decides to accept. "Yes, let's, before I curse these so-called musicians for this travesty against rock music," he scowls as he takes in the glam and goth clad guys on the stage.
We move towards the exit leading to the rose garden, only to be abruptly stopped by some unseen force. I try to step forward, using all of my strength, but my legs refuse to yield. "What in Merlin's name?" Severus seethes, wand already in his hand, searching around for someone responsible for this that he can hex.
"Oh, no," I lament as I look up and spot the source of the problem. Icy cold dread floods my veins. Severus is not going to like this at all.
"What?" he probes demandingly, whipping around to give me a challenging stare. I resign myself to my fate and point up to the green plant with small red berries floating above us. Severus's eyes widen in horror and a hard thin scowl forms on his face. "ALBUS!" he roars, completely forgetting any sense of decorum towards the Headmaster and one of the most powerful wizards ever to have lived.
"Yes Severus?" Albus calls back politely, completely unfazed by the rage coursing through every millimeter of Severus's being. Albus is smiling genially and the twinkle in his bright blue eyes is at full blast.
Oh how I hate the man right now! Does he have any idea what an awkward position he has put me in? Oh wait, stupid question, of course he does! He knows how I feel about Severus…how I've felt about him since I was 13 bloody years old! Damn you old man!
"Release this ridiculous enchantment, NOW!" Severus commands, eying the mistletoe like it personally insulted his mother.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, my boy. That's wizarding mistletoe, and you and Eleanor can only be released by a kiss. Even I am not able to override it. Best to simply suck it up I daresay," he imparts with a chuckle and a smirk worthy of any Slytherin.
"Crazy, meddling, old coot," I hear Severus mutter under his breath angrily. "Fine, then," he growls as he suddenly plants his graceful long-fingered hands upon my shoulders and pulls me brusquely towards him. Before I can even fully register the movement, I feel his warm, firm lips against my cheek and a hot flush immediately spreads through me. It's over in a second and he turns to storm off before I can even blink. His progress is cut quite short, though, as he realizes he is still confined to the area under the troublesome plant. "Albus…" he inquires threateningly through clenched teeth. By now most of the room is gawking at the developing scene and I can tell that Severus is at the end of his short rope of patience.
"My dear boy, that is red mistletoe! I'm afraid a mere peck on the cheek will not suffice as it would under the white mistletoe. This variety requires a bit more passion to break the charm," Albus explains with a knowing grin. Immediately, a deep flush of embarrassment floods Severus's pale skin, turning his pale skin bright red. I can't help but feel for the poor guy. After all, he's always been reserved, proper, and private. Even if he had been dating Lily, I hardly think PDA's would have been welcome, so to be put on the spot in front of half the school with someone he doesn't even like…it must be humiliating for him. Truth be told, I'm rather embarrassed myself. Having the man I unrequitingly love being forced into kissing me in front of a bunch of teenagers and co-workers is not my idea of a good time. Still, there's apparently nothing to be done about it, so I need to just swallow my pride and get this over with.
I shrug at Severus, trying to make him believe I am resigning myself to this 'unwelcome task' of kissing him. He clenches his fists tightly then lets out an angry huff of breath. He leans over slightly so that I can reach him, and I push myself up a little bit. We awkwardly move towards one another, all too aware of the pairs of wide eyes goggling at us. I am so nervous my hands are shaking slightly, but I reign myself in, tilt my head slightly and close my eyes just before we fill in the last gap of space between our lips. Suddenly, as his wondrous lips touch mine, I am charged with a jolt of what feels like electricity coursing throughout my body. Every one of my nerves feels hypersensitive, but it doesn't hurt. It's the best feeling I've ever experienced and a pleasurable shudder rises up before I can stop it. I am lost in bliss, completely and inexorably. Without conscious control, my arms raise up and I can feel myself now gripping Severus's hips, drawing him closer to me as I move my lips against his, just barely suppressing a moan. Bloody hell! He just wrapped his arms around me! Tightly! He's holding me close to him! I can feel the warmth of his body radiating from his chest, pressing against mine. My lips part in pleased surprise and…dear Merlin! He just lightly licked my bottom lip! That was Severus's tongue! I must have died and gone to Heaven, of Valhalla, or the Elysian Fields…or maybe all of them combined!
After what seems like a lifetime and a scant second all at once, Severus pulls back slightly. I open my dazed eyes and see his flutter open as well, revealing the glassy onyx orbs that suck me in every time. His arms are still lightly wrapped around me, and mine are still on his slim hips. The room is deathly quiet…even the music has stopped. I look over towards the stage and it seems to break whatever spell we were under because Severus quickly jerks his arms away from me and steps back, looking at me as if I am Lord Voldemort himself. My heart breaks, shatters really, in that moment. He takes three more steps, realizing he can now escape, then stops for a moment and whips back around. I see him look at me for a second and hope flares. Maybe he doesn't hate me? Maybe he didn't loathe the kiss? Then, he raises his wand and casts a vicious Incendio at the mistletoe, igniting it in hot blue flames. "Puerile bloody hazard," he growls as he whips back around and stalks angrily out to the rose garden. The piece of mistletoe drops to the ground still engulfed in flames, then shrivels up until all that is left is ash.
I see the amazed, startled, and frightened stares of the professors, band, and students, and I have no idea how to handle it. I give them all a tight smile and turn in what I hope is a casual manner to leave the Great Hall, ostensibly to keep a look out for students trying to sneak in or out of the dance. A moment after I leave, I hear the band begin to play again and the room fills with murmurs of hundreds of students. The entry hall is empty, thank Merlin, and I crash down upon the stairs, hanging my head in my hands as the tears I fought off in the Great Hall begin to flood my chocolate colored eyes. Suddenly, there is a comforting arm around my shoulder. I look up and see Albus's crystal blue eyes looking back at me forlornly.
"I'm sorry, my dear. I did not intend to hurt you or see you embarrassed. I only wanted to help you…to help both of you. I honestly believe you could be precisely what Severus needs, if only he could let down his walls and get out of his own way. I thought, perhaps, if I gave your romance a little jump start, it would take off," he explains, practically oozing apologetic sorrow and remorse.
"Well, something sure took off; too bad it was Severus," I answer flippantly, flashing him a small watery smile to let him know that I am not angry with him. He smiles back and claps me on the shoulder.
"Too true," he chuckles. "Will you be alright?" he asks me seriously after his laughter recedes.
"I have to be," I say matter-of-factly. Even though I've now had a taste of my most fervent desire and it was better than I had ever imagined and I'll never be able to have it again! Oh Merlin, how am I going to get over this? Over him?
"You always were stronger than you looked," he replies with a piercing gaze that makes me gasp. Could he possibly mean what I think he means? No, he couldn't know about the…uh, incident…with my father. If he did, he never would have let me into the school, right? Although…he did admit a werewolf, so maybe a murderer-by-necessity isn't so far out of the question. I'm tempted to ask him, but I know I can't. If I'm wrong and he isn't referring to that, I'll have just talked myself into a one way trip to Azkaban. "I know things seem hopeless right now, Eleanor, but please, don't give up yet. That kiss has convinced me more than ever that you two are perfect for one another," he asserts, breaking me out of the musings in my head.
"And here all these years I thought someone fleeing in horror from a kiss was a bad sign. No wonder I'm still single."
Albus chuckles heartily and a bit of the twinkle returns to his eyes. "I wasn't referring to that part particularly. Rather, I was referencing the powerful flare of magic that ignited around you two when you kissed."
"What?" I gasp in disbelief. Was that what that electric feeling was? If so, what does that mean?
"Oh yes, it was quite impressive. Even the band stopped cold so they could stare. When you and Severus kissed, your respective magics flared out from your cores, and intertwined around you both. It turns out your magics are actually quite complimentary; your magical core is primarily green whereas his is primarily red, despite some gray infusions. They are directly complimentary colors and work astoundingly well together. Plus, it was appropriate for the holiday," he adds with a lighthearted smile. "It made for quite a festive display."
I stare back at him, dumbfounded. I know that everyone has a magical core characterized by color and that those colors reflect aspects of their strengths and weaknesses, but I have never heard of them flaring up from a kiss. "What does it mean?" I ask softly.
"It means," Albus starts, looking stalwartly into my eyes, "that if you can convince Severus to give you a chance, your relationship will be truly wonderful. You should not give up. There is hope."