Sorry for delays in updating, I'm trying hot once a week at least. Thank you all for lovely reviews. Also I think I may be starting a new story soon so keep your eyes open.
Anyone Else But You – Chapter 26
Ashley pushed open the door to large restaurant, her eyes desperately scanning every female in the room that was of a certain age. Ashley's eye finally clashed with a dark haired woman who was sat in the court yard. The sun was shining down on her and she looked beautiful. Ashley saw herself in that strangers eyes and in that second she knew that she was looking at her Mother. The woman that had abandoned her all those years ago, the woman that chose money and drugs over her only child. Ashley pushed her anger down as the woman smiled sweetly at her, she knew that she needed to give this ago.
Ashley was frozen to the spot and Christine seemed to notice this so she headed over to Ashley carefully not wanting to spook the girl. Once there were only a few feet between them Christine stopped and took in every inch of her daughter's face.
"Ashley you're beautiful" Christine finally said in a highly emotional tone.
"Erm….thank you" Ashley whispered back feeling the pressure of the situation getting to her. Wanting to turn and run Ashley was stopped when she felt Spencer's hand in her own. That small movement had soothed Ashley in so many ways.
"This is my girlfriend Spencer" Ashley announced pointing to Spencer.
"Girlfriend? Wow it's lovely to meet you Spencer….please come join me both of you" Christine answered with a wide smile. Spencer and Ashley followed the older lady. Spencer admired the similarities between the two and couldn't help by amazed at how they had similar movements and posture. Spencer also noticed that they were now all sat in silence with Ashley staring at her hand and Christine looking everywhere but at the daughter she abandoned.
"So it's really pretty here" Spencer noted taking in the California sunshine hoping to break the tension.
"Why now?" Ashley interrupted ignoring Spencer's polite small talk. Christine seemed taken aback by Ashley's abruptness but Raife had already pre warned her about their daughter's sharp tongue and short temper.
"Ashley I have tried for the past 15 years to contact you but I never felt like I had the right. After I erm….after I" Christine had forgotten everything that she had wanted to say.
"After you chose money and drugs over me? After I was left thinking that my birth had killed you? After I had punished myself for the last 17 years?"
"Ashley" Spencer tried to calm Ashley but she could tell her soothing tones were wasted.
"It's ok Spencer, Ashley is right. What I did was terrible and completely unforgiveable. I have spent the last 17 years hating myself and the person that I once was. When you were born Ashley I wanted to be better for you. Your Father had given me everything including the chance to follow my dream but with that came a lot of bad things and bad people. I know I can't blame anybody but myself for my mistakes. When you arrived I was so happy but then I realised that my love for drugs was stronger than my love for you at the time. I just saw you as this person that needed me, that needed me to be there and I couldn't do that. The day that Raife found me wasn't even me hitting rock bottom that's how broken I was" Christine tried her best to explain but Ashley's stubborn side had kicked and she was already fighting a losing battle.
"How do you get any lower than overdosing while looking after a newly born child?" Ashley snapped trying to reign in anger. She had come for answers and she was now getting them.
"Trust me when I say there is a lower point than that"
"Like what?" Ashley challenged.
"Like when I felt relieved when Raife offered me the money to leave. I was happy to leave you behind Ashley" Christine admitted almost crying as she saw the hurt expression across Ashley's face.
"Well thanks for sending my life in to turmoil just to tell me that. You should've stayed dead" Ashley snapped getting up to leave but Christine stopped her by holding her hand. No matter how much anger was pumping through her body in that moment feeling her Mother's touch was soothing and she immediately felt at ease.
"Let me finish Ashley…..if you still wish I was dead after I've finished then so bit it" Christine begged to which Ashley nodded for her to continue.
"I was selfish when I was on drugs Ashley and it took a lot more low points for me to hit rock bottom. The minute I came out of rehab I started to rebuild my life and I've had set backs and I've made plenty of mistakes….but you were everything to me once I realised just how special you were. I would've contacted you sooner but Raife did as he promised and kept you away from me"
"Don't blame my Dad for you leaving….you took the money" Ashley argued.
"I'm not blaming Raife Ashley. He did the right thing he kept you safe from me which is what I wanted him to do" Christine explained further.
"Did either of you ever consider what I wanted? What I needed?" Ashley asked sipping her coke noting that Christine was drinking just water.
"Your Father always put you first Ashley"
"Then why the hell did he let me believe you were dead and that it was my fault?"
"I guess he thought that was for the best. I'm sorry for any pain you felt"
"Pain? You have no goddamn idea about the pain I went through! I have spent the best part of my teenage life hating myself because I thought I had killed you. Jesus I have abused my body with the same sort of crap that you chose over me!I was in rehab for most of last year and it was all because of you. Do you wanna know why I came here to meet you?" Ashley asked her voice getting higher. Spencer tried to calm her down but her actions were pointless.
"Why Ashley?" Christine asked seeming almost pleased that Ashley was reacting in this way.
"Because I wanted to know if I was like you and do you want to know what I've realised?"
"What?"
"I am nothing like you! I was selfish for a while because I was hurting but I could never do what you did no matter how bad things were. You are a selfish bitch and I hate you which is strange because I have spent so much time wishing you back. I liked the old version of you, the one I killed because she was perfect and you're just a pointless ex druggie" Ashley spat as she walked away from the table leaving a stunned Spencer and a crest fallen Christine. Spencer looked up at Christine not really knowing what to say or do. Ashley had every right to act the way she was but at least Christine was trying.
"She will calm down….eventually" Spencer tried.
"You're very sweet Spencer but she's right and I don't blame her for being relieved that she's nothing like me" Christine replied.
"Just let me talk to her "Spencer said as she walked off to find Ashley. Looking around the lobby Ashley was nowhere to be seen so she headed up to the suite. Once the doors opened Spencer looked around every room and was unable to find Ashley. Picking up her cell Spencer pressed speed dial but it only went straight to voicemail.
"Ash come back to the hotel. I need to know you're ok" Spencer pleaded as she dropped her phone on the bed. The last time Ashley had done her disappearing act she had ended up nearly drinking and Spencer didn't want that to happen because that would upset Ashley more in the long run. Spencer decided to stay and wait at the hotel as she had no idea where Ashley might be in San Francisco.