Here's the next chapter for you all! ^^ the page breaks might get a bit confusing, but if it's not the usual page break, that means Sherlock is in his mind palace or coming out of said mind palace. It was tough writing that bit, but i hope you all enjoy it! please review and let me know what you think!

(Flashback start)

Sherlock stood before his wall full of information as Dani rested quietly on the couch. She's had a rough night of nightmares and Sherlock had just gotten her to go to sleep a few hours ago; Tobias having gone back to Germany for the month and being unable to comfort her—something Sherlock found pleasure in knowing.

"Need to work on your half of the church, Mary. Looking a bit thin." He said, turning around to face her as she sat at his desk.

Said desk was ladled with RSVPs and a model of the venue as she tried to figure out where to put people. John, on the other hand, was seated comfortably in his own chair reading Sherlock's emails and looking through cases.

Mary smiled. "Ah, orphan's lot. Friends. That's all I have. Lots of friends."

"Schedule the organ music to being at precisely 11:48." He spouted out quickly.

"But the rehearsal's not for another two weeks." Mary argued. "Just calm down."

"Calm? I am calm. I'm extremely calm." He frowned, though the truth was, he was anxious.

"Let's get back to the reception. Come on." Mary offered, making Sherlock head over towards her as she handed him an RSVP card. "John's cousin. Top table?"

"Hm, hates you. Can't even bear to think about you." Sherlock said, deducing the hell out of the card.

"Seriously?" Mary questioned, shocked.

"Second class post, cheap card." He sniffed said card and grimaced. "Bought at a petrol station. Look at the stamp. Three attempts at licking. She's obviously unconsciously retaining saliva."

"Ah." Mary glanced at John to see if he was paying attention, but he wasn't. "Let's stick her by the bogs."

"Oh, yes." Sherlock agreed, before sitting down.

"Who else hates me?"

Sherlock handed her a list, making her frown. "Oh great. Thanks."

John spoke up then. "Priceless painting nicked. Looks interesting."

"Table four…" Mary muttered, looking at the paperwork on the table.

"Done." Sherlock told John as he moved onto the next one.

John chuckled. "'My husband is three people'."

"Table five…" Mary went on as Sherlock looked at a list of guests.

"Major James Sholto. Who he?"

"Oh, John's old commanding officer. I don't think he's coming."

"He'll be there." John argued.

"Well, he needs to RSVP, then." Mary quipped back.

John remained firm. "He'll be there."

"Mm."

"'My husband is three people'." John repeated. "It's interesting. Says he has three distinct patterns of moles on his skin."

Sherlock stood up, speaking quietly. "Identical triplets. One in half a million births. Solved it without even leaving the flat. Now, serviettes." He knelt down beside the table and pulled out a tray with two folded napkins on it. "Swan, or Sydney Opera House?"

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Mary questioned.

"Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation—" Sherlock ranted, but she cut him off.

"Fibbing, Sherlock."

"I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of—"

"I'm not John. I can tell when you're fibbing." Mary countered again and he sighed.

"Okay. I learned it on YouTube." He grumbled and she smiled.

"Opera House, please."

They heard chuckling then and Sherlock perked up with a frown on his face as Dani moved to rest on her elbow and smirk at him.

"Mary's already figured you out then?"

Sherlock wrinkled his nose in annoyance. "Oh, shut up."

Dani just chuckled some more and got up, glancing at the group as she headed for the kitchen. "Tea?"

"Me, thanks." John said, still skimming through emails as Mary leaned over and pulled out her phone.

"Ooh, hang on. I'm buzzing." She answered it and began to head for the kitchen behind Dani. "Hello?.. Oh, hi, Beth! Yeah, yeah. I don't see why not."

John too got up and joined them after lying to Sherlock and the trio hung around in the kitchen; Dani being the only one actually doing something.

"He knows we don't have a friend called Beth." John said quietly. "He's going to figure out it's code."

"He's YouTube-ing serviettes." Mary said, quickly.

"He's thorough." John countered as Mary did the same.

"He's terrified."

"Course he's not."

"He's bored and anxious." Dani called out quietly, giving them both looks. "And you two being all sneaky probably isn't helping."

"Right." Mary nodded, turning back to John. "You know when you're scared of something, you start wishing it sooner just to get it all going? That's what he's doing."

"Why would he be scared that we're getting married? It's not gonna change anything. We'll still do stuff."

Both Dani and Mary gave him a look, before Mary shook it off.

"Well, you need to prove it to him. I told you to find him a new case."

"I'm trying."

"Just tell him to pick one." Dani complained, setting the tea and coffee for Sherlock on a tray. "He can't get mad at you if he's the one doing it."

John sighed and Mary gave him a comforting squeeze on his arm.

"You need to run him, okay? Show him it's still the good old days."

He was hesitant, but Mary promptly pushed him out into the living room and Dani rolled her eyes.

"You're impossible. The lot of ya."

"Oh, but you love us." Mary smiled back and Dani smiled as well.

"Don't know what possessed me."

When she walked out though, her and John were pleasantly surprised by the dozens of folded napkins Sherlock had made during his wait. Sherlock turned to them and turned back with a sigh, gesturing to them.

"That just, sort of… happened."

Sherlock looked back at them and gave them both a small smile as Dani moved past John and handed Sherlock his coffee, before giving John his and taking her own as she sat in Sherlock's chair and watched the show.

"Sherlock, um… mate…" John frowned a bit, probably questioning what the heck he was doing. "I-I've…" He let out a breath and moved to sit at the desk; Sherlock following upon hearing Mary talking in the kitchen. "I've smelled eighteen different perfumes. I've sampled… nine different slices of cake which all tasted identical. I like the bridesmaids in purple—"

"Lilac." Sherlock corrected, glancing Dani's way. "Sans Dani, of course."

Dani raised her brows, signaling that she'd heard as she sipped her tea.

"Lilac." John muttered. "Um, there are no more decisions left to make. I don't even understand the decisions that we have made. I'm faking opinions and it's exhausting. So please, before she comes back…"

John glanced towards the kitchen and pulled out his phone as he cleared his throat and held it across the table at Sherlock. Doing a rather decent job of acting, believe it or not.

"…pick something. Anything. Pick one."

"Pick what?"

John laughed. "A case. Your inbox is bursting. Just… get me out of here."

Sherlock leaned closer and spoke softer, wondering what possessed John to do this now. "You want to go out on a case? N-Now?"

"Please. Sherlock, for me." John then tossed a hand Dani's way. "For Dani. She's as desperate to get out of here as I am."

"Mm, yeah. Most definitely." Dani said, going along with it and setting her tea down.

"Don't you two worry about a thing." Sherlock said, taking the phone. "I'll get you out of this." He skimmed through the emails as John gave Dani a small nod, unnoticed. "Ooh…"

He read through the email briefly before speaking up again.

"Uniform fetishist. 'All the nice girls like a soldier'."

"It's 'sailor'." John corrected his quote. "And Bainbridge thinks his stalker is a bloke."

Sherlock stayed quiet.

"Let's go and investigate. Please?"

"'Elite guard'." Sherlock muttered, still reading.

"Forty enlisted men and officers."

"Why this particular Grenadier? Curious."

"Now you're talking." John grinned and Sherlock handed him his phone back.

"Okay."

The three of them stood up and headed for the doors just as Mary walked in and pretended to hang up the phone.

"Um, we're just going to… I need, um, Sherlock to help me choose some, uh, socks."

"Ties." Sherlock said at the same time.

Dani pulled on her coat with a roll of her eyes. "Socks, guys. Do keep up."

"Yeah." John nodded. "And, um, Dani's come to help. You know. Keep us out of trouble."

Mary went along with it. "I mean, you've got to get the right socks."

"Exactly. To go with my outfit."

"Tie." Sherlock said again at the same time as John.

Dani just sighed, walking between the two men and giving Mary a fake apologetic look. "Sorry, they're idiots. It'll probably take a while."

John pointed to the kitchen. "Is my coat in there?"

"Yes!" Mary said, sending him off as Sherlock spoke quietly to her; not caring about Dani.

"Just going to take him out for a bit. Run him."

"I know." Mary smiled as he smiled back. "You said you'd find him a case."

"Mm."

"Coming, Sherlock? Dani?" John called out from the kitchen.

"Coming." The two said; Sherlock heading for the door and Dani picking up a pack of cigarettes beside Mary.

Sherlock turned back and gave Mary two thumbs up and John looked out from the kitchen, giving her a wink and an A-okay hand gesture, and Mary bit her bottom lip to hold back her laughter as she nodded to both men and gave them both two thumbs up as well. They turned away to head down the stairs and Sherlock called back up to Dani.

"Hurry up, Dani! Don't have all day."

"Yeah, yeah." She said with a roll of her eyes and gave Mary an amused smile. "God, you play those two like a harp. Teach me?"

Mary winked. "Of course."

They exchanged smiles once more, before Dani rushed down to get in the cab with Sherlock and John; neither of which knowing that they'd both been played.

Once we'd reached the entrance of the barracks to see Bainbridge, John and I handed the duty sergeant our military IDs in the hopes of hurrying this up a bit.

"We're here to see Private Stephen Bainbridge."

"He's on duty right now, sirs." The man handed us back our IDs. "But I'll certainly let him know when he's free."

"And when will that be?" Sherlock asked.

"Another hour."

I sighed and the three of us headed back outside to wait across the way on a bench to wait and watch Bainbridge as he stood there and let tourists take photos of him.

"Do you think they give them classes?" Sherlock said suddenly, after a moment of silence.

"Classes?" John questioned as I leaned forward a bit in confusion.

"How to resist the temptation to scratch their behinds?"

"Afferent neurons in the peripheral nervous system." John rattled off quickly, confusing me even more.

"What?"

"Bum itch." John explained, making Sherlock and I nod in understanding.

"Oh."

The silence returned, only for Sherlock to break it again.

"So why don't you see him anymore?"

"Who?" John asked as I tucked my hands into my pockets and leaned back to relax.

"Your previous commander, Sholto."

"'Previous commander'." John muttered.

Sherlock grimaced. "I meant 'ex'."

"Previous suggests that I currently have a commander."

"Which you don't." Sherlock nodded.

"Which I don't."

"Except Sherlock." I said with a chuckle, earning an eye roll from both men.

"He was decorated, wasn't he?" Sherlock continued where he left off. "A war hero."

"Not to everyone. He led a team of crows into battle."

"Crows?"

"New recruits, Sherlock." I muttered, closing my eyes for a bit.

"Mm."

"It's standard procedure." John explained. "Break the new boys in. But it went wrong. They all died. He was the only survivor. The press and families gave him hell. He gets more death threats than you. Though probably not more than Dani."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment." I grumbled.

"Sorry." John apologized as I waved it off and he spoke to Sherlock again. "Why have you suddenly taken an interest in another human being?"

"I'm… chatting."

I peeked an eye open and watched as they exchanged looks.

"Won't be trying that again."

"Changing the subject completely…" John took a deep breath. "You know it won't alter anything, right? Me and Mary getting married? We'll still be doing all this."

"Oh, good."

"If you were worrying."

"Wasn't worried."

"Liar." I muttered under my breath, feeling Sherlock glare at me despite my eyes being closed.

John chuckled. "See, the thing about Mary…"

I didn't get to hear the rest of what John was saying, because Sherlock grabbed my wrist and pulled me up off the bench; shushing me with a glare as we hurried off towards the barracks.

"I'm, uh, guessing that we're not going to wait for the end of the hour?"

"Boring." He muttered, looking around and picking up two hats of some soldiers who were chatting nearby; plopping one on my head with a smirk. "This is much more fun."

We then joined a group of soldiers marching past the duty sergeant's office and mimicked their marching style from the back; straight faced and serious until we rounded the corner and removed the hats. After that, I couldn't stop laughing.

"Ahaha, that was brilliant! I want one of those hats. You think they sell them in gift shops or something? Ebay maybe?"

"Dani."

"Hm?" I turned to him and he grabbed my head, making me stiffen, only for him to mess up my hair with his hands. "Wha—"

"Hat hair." He explained, smirking over his shoulder as he walked off. "What did you think I was going to do? Kiss you?"

I felt a stab of pain go through me at that, but pushed it aside to follow after him; trying to hide the heat in my cheeks because that had been exactly what I was thinking. Too bad, Dani. You're the one who went and dumped him. He was dead. What else was I supposed to do? Wait? I mentally argued with Jim as we walked into the barracks and up the stairs. Sherlock paused at the top and turned away as a couple of soldiers walked past, before we headed up and peeked into a room where some chatter was coming from. Inside, was a group of soldiers chatting and paying table tennis and watching TV.

"Wish being a soldier was always that easy." I muttered quietly as Sherlock closed the door and we headed off to look for more clues.

It didn't last long though. We were eventually caught, though I blame Sherlock. He was the one who thought it'd be smart to be checking his phone as he rounded a corner, right into a sergeant. From there, we were brought to the Major's office, only to be informed he was elsewhere. Being brought to a bathroom wasn't exactly where I expected to find the man in charge, nor was it the place I thought we'd find Bainbridge lying dead.

"Sir, I caught these two snooping around."

The Major in charge seemed to have recognized Sherlock and immediately went on the defensive.

"Is that what this was all about? Distracting me so that these two could get in here and kill Bainbridge?"

"Don't be—"

Sherlock pulled free of the sergeant and looked at the body closer, making the sergeant let me go to pull him away. Sherlock though, must of caught something and faced the Major.

"Kill him with what? Where's the weapon?"

"What?"

It clicked then and I spoke up. "Weapon. How could we kill him if we don't have a weapon to do it with?"

"Go on." Sherlock said, holding his arms wide. "Search us. No weapon."

John nodded. "Bainbridge was on parade. He came off duty five minutes ago. When's this supposed to have happened?"

The Major turned to Sherlock and I. "You obviously stabbed him before he got into the shower."

"Nope." I said, starting to get annoyed and reached into my pocket to pull out my wallet, fishing for my ID so I could just order these idiots to let us look.

"No?!" The Major shouted in disbelief.

"He's soaking wet." Sherlock explained for me. "And there's still shampoo in his hair. He got into the shower and then someone stabbed him."

The duty sergeant spoke up then. "The cubicle was locked from the inside, sir. I had to break it open."

"You must have climbed over the top." The Major argued.

"Well, then I'd be soaking wet too, wouldn't I?" Sherlock growled, knowing that the man was just pulling at straws now.

"Alright, that's it." I said, voice loud and commanding as I held up my ID. "Lieutenant General Dani Evans and I'm sick and tired off this stupid nonsense. So Major, shut up and let John examine this body, before I find the highest authority capable and have every star stripped from your title. Is that understood, sir?"

The Major quickly snapped to attention and nodded. "Sir, yes, sir!"

I rolled my eyes and gave a heated look at the duty sergeant and the other man who was holding Sherlock; both men letting go as John stripped himself of his coat and laid it over a bench.

"Better?" Sherlock asked and I rolled my shoulders tiredly.

"Better? God, that was tedious."

"Suicide?" The duty sergeant questioned and I shook my head; knowing that he was asking about Bainbridge.

"No weapon."

Sherlock and I moved over to where the body was, checking for things that could explain what happened, though the way I saw it, it was a locked room murder.

"Hm." John hummed from beside the body. "There is a wound to the abdomen. Incredibly fine."

"Man stabbed to death. No murder weapon. Door locked from the inside. Only one way in or out of here."

"Locked room murder." I hummed, glancing at the wound in question.

What the heck… It's like a needle or something, but to do this much damage, it must've been really long.

"Sherlock, Dani."

"Hm?" We both hummed as I eyed the ceiling.

"He's still breathing."

My eyes quickly turned to John as the duty sergeant spoke.

"Oh my God."

"What do we do?" Sherlock asked in question, the two of us not really knowing what we could do to begin with.

For one thing, Sherlock was a detective. He was used to dealing with the already dead, not the near dead. And I was an assassin. I dealt with the living and made them dead. Saving someone was the last thing I'd be doing.

"Give me your scarf."

"What?"

"Quickly, now." John ordered and Sherlock scrambled to do so, passing the item to John as I turned to the Major and others.

"Call an ambulance! That's an order!"

"Yes, sir!" They said, the two sergeants rushing out to do just that.

"Nurse, press here. Hard." John said, Sherlock and I glancing at one another in confusion as to who he was talking to; until he put Sherlock's hand on the scarf now pressed to the wound in Bainbridge's side.

"Nurse?" Sherlock said in disgust.

"Yeah. I'm making do. Keep pressure on that wound."

Sherlock went and shifted closer to press harder and I joined him as John called out to Bainbridge.

"Stephen. Stephen, stay with me."

(Flashback end)

"Private Bainbridge had just come off duty." Sherlock said, looking around at the guests in the wedding venue. "He'd stood there for hours, plenty of people watching, nothing apparently wrong. He came off duty and within minutes was nearly dead from a wound in his stomach, but there was no weapon. Where did it go? Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to consider this. A murderer who can walk through walls, a weapon that can vanish, but in all of this, there is only one element which can be said to be truly remarkable. Would anyone like to make a guess?"

The guests fidgeted, nervous.

"Come on. Come on. There is actually an element of Q&A to all of this." He cleared his throat, before searching for a victim. "Scotland Yard. Have you got a theory?"

Lestrade looked at him blankly.

"Yeah, you. You're a detective, broadly speaking. Got a theory?"

"Oh, um." Lestrade shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms over his chest. "If the uh… I-If the blade was, uh, propelled through the, um… grating in the air vent… maybe a-a ballista or a… or a… or a catapult. Um, somebody tiny c-could crawl in there." He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "So, yeah. We're… We're looking for a-a-a dwarf."

"Brilliant." Sherlock said, expression blank.

"Really?"

"No. Next!"

Lestrade sighed and lowered his head, hand moving for his drink as Sherlock caught Tom—Molly's fiancé—whispering.

"Hello? Who was that? Tom."

Tom grimaced and slowly stood, the noise from his chair, making Dani wince slightly.

"Got a theory?"

"Um, attempted suicide with a blade made of compacted blood and bone. Broke after piercing his abdomen… like a meat… dagger."

A few guests snickered and Molly gave him a look of disbelief.

"A meat dagger…"

"Yes."

"Sit down." Molly hissed out through grit teeth.

"No."

The man sat, awkwardly and Sherlock decided he better explain.

"There was one feature, and only one feature of interest in the whole of this baffling case and quite frankly, it was the usual. John Watson. Who, while Dani and I were trying to solve a murder, instead saved a life. There are mysteries worth solving and stories worth telling." Sherlock looked over at John. "The best and bravest man I know. And on top of that he actually knows how to do stuff."

John lowered his head in embarrassment as he chuckled.

"Except wedding planning and serviettes. He's rubbish at those."

"True."

The guests laughed as Sherlock went on.

"The case itself remains the most ingenious and brilliantly planned murder—or attempted murder—I've ever had the pleasure to encounter. The most perfect locked room mystery as Dani so aptly put it, which I am aware of. However, I'm not just here to praise John. I'm also here to embarrass him. So let's move on to some—"

"No. Wait." Lestrade interrupted, catching his attention. "So how was it… How was it done?"

"How was what done?"

"The stabbing."

Sherlock looked down awkwardly before stiffening his resolve and looking back up. "I'm afraid I don't know. I didn't solve that one. That's… It can happen sometimes. It's very… very disappointing."

It was hard to tell, but Sherlock was actually very upset about his unsolved cases. He may not show it, but he often spent nights and early mornings in his mind palace going over them and trying to find a detail he missed. Because not only was he disappointed in leaving a possible killer out on the loose, but he was disappointed in himself for not being capable of solving it.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he took a breath and went on. "Embarrassment leads me on to the stag night. Well, I call it that, but Dani had the pleasure of joining us that night as well, claiming that someone needed to babysit us. And, of course, there's hours of material here, but I've cut it down to the really good bits."

(Flashback start)

Molly stood in the lab at St. Bart's and gave Sherlock a look as he stood beside her.

"Murder scenes? Locations of… murders?"

"Mm, pub crawl. Themed."

"Yeah, but w-why can't you just do Underground stations?"

Sherlock wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Lacks the personal touch. We're going to go for a drink in every street where we—"

"—every street where you found a corpse. Delightful." She smiled a bit. "Where do I come in?"

"Don't want to get ill. That would ruin it. Spoil the mood."

"You're a graduate chemist. Can't you just work it out?"

"I lack the practical experience." He smiled at her and her voice dropped, accusingly.

"Meaning you think I like a drink."

"Occasionally."

"That I'm a drunk."

"No. No." He said quickly, but when she held his gaze, he looked away. "You look… well."

"I am."

"How's…" Sherlock paused, brows furrowed as he tried to remember the name of her fiancé. "…Tom?"

"Not a sociopath."

"Still? Good."

Molly smiled at him, having eased up a bit now. "And we're having quite a lot of sex."

Okay, maybe too eased up.

"Okay…" He then threw the thought from his mind and dropped a large folder on the table. "I want you to calculate John, Dani, and my ideal intake to remain in the sweet spot the whole evening. Light-headed, good."

"Urinating in wardrobes, bad." Molly concluded.

"Hm."

Sherlock stood at the bar of the first pub of the day and looked at the barman.

"Two, uh… beers, please."

"Pints?" The man questioned, only for Sherlock to pull out three long glass cylinders and put them on the bar.

"443.7 milliliters."

Once they were filled to that height, he went over to the bench that Dani and John were waiting at and put them on the table before John could get a word out.

"Ah…"

Dani blinked as well, but soon shrugged and began drinking as Sherlock pulled out a phone and started a stopwatch.

"What? Are we on a schedule?" John questioned and Sherlock just smiled and picked up his glass, clinking it against John's before they both drank.

"You'll thank me."

Needless to say, six pubs and a bathroom break later, and the two of the three were attempting to get more drunk than they already were.

"Oi, five whiskey shots." Dani called out to the barman, eager to drink herself silly after a particularly nasty argument with Tobias earlier that morning.

"Uh, Dani? Don't you think that's a bit much?" John questioned and she turned to him as the shots were put in front of her.

"No. Cause you're drinking too."

She pushed two of the shots to John and gave him a look, before he quickly downed one them. He then glanced at Sherlock and nodded towards him as Dani downed two of her shots.

"Dani, he's going to see."

"Fine." She drawled out, pouring one of her shots into a glass and taking it with her as John poured his shot into one of the other glasses and taking them both to Sherlock.

Problem was, when he went to hand Sherlock the one without the shot, he handed him the wrong one.

"There you go. Cheers."

They both drank as Dani leaned on the table and did the same. Needless to say though, at the next bar, the group of them were rather plastered. Sherlock especially.

"I know ash!" He shouted at a large looking man, poking him in the chest. "Don't tell me I don't!"

With the last word, he pushed the man, who quickly swung a punch, only for Sherlock to dodge somehow, allowing the man to fall into the table. Spotting this, John grabbed Sherlock from behind and began pulling him away as he called out to Dani at the bar.

"Dani! Come on!"

Dani, surrounded by a number of women, blinked drunkenly and bid her farewells with a tipsy wave and a silly grin, before following the two men out. They all ended up returning to Baker Street, completely worn out and drunk, collapsing on the stairs leading up to their flat. Sherlock was lying on his back and John was lying on his side, but Dani was lying upside-down above them with her head resting on Sherlock's shoulder as he ran his hand through her hair.

"I have an international reputation." He slurred out. "Do you have an international reputation?" He asked John.

"No. I don't have an international reputation."

"No." Sherlock repeated and Dani grinned, waving a hand excitedly.

"I do! I do!" She frowned though, not once opening her eyes. "But I can't remember why…"

Sherlock frowned as well. "Me too. Sss… crime… something or other."

The door to Mrs. Hudson's flat opened and said woman started upon spotting the trio on the stairs; jostling her bag of trash.

"Oh! What are you doing back? I thought you were going to be out late."

"Ah, Hudders. What time is it?" Sherlock asked.

She looked at her watch. "You've only been out two hours."

They all sort of jostled at that, Sherlock and John both trying to sit up, but having no room to do so on the stairs until Sherlock slid down an extra step. Dani though, stayed where she was, brows furrowed and legs tangled in the banisters.

"Two hours?"

The group then made their way upstairs and Dani decided to opt out of the game Sherlock and John started up; settling instead to smoke for a bit and sitting backwards on the client's chair as she watched, swaying slightly.

"Am I a vegetable?" John asked, blinking slowly; a paper stuck to his forehead with the name 'Madonna' on it.

"You, or the thing?" Sherlock questioned and they all sniggered.

"Funny!"

"Thank you."

"Come on." John said, trying to keep the game going.

"No, you're not a vegetable."

"It's your go." John reached for a cup of whiskey on a nearby table; the three of them having gotten some from Dani's stash.

"Uh… am I human?" Sherlock asked; his own paper having his name on it.

"Sometimes."

"Pft." Dani sputtered, chuckling and making Sherlock frown.

"Shh." He then turned back to John. "Can't have 'sometimes'. Has to be, um…"

He trailed off trying to straighten himself up in his chair.

"Yes, you're human." John said, drinking and slouching back in his chair.

"…'yes' or 'no'." Sherlock said, having finished his previous sentence, before leaning forward. "Okay… Am I a man?"

"Yep."

"Tall?"

John held up his hands in a shrug. "Not as tall as people think."

"Hm. Nice?"

"Ish."

"Clever?"

"I'd say so."

Sherlock looked at Dani, who nodded; nearly falling out of her chair in the process of getting her drink from off the table.

"You would? Both of you?"

John chuckled as Dani smirked, and Sherlock went on questioning.

"Mm, am I important?"

"To s-some people."

"Do 'people' like me?"

"Uh, no they don't." John said, reaching for his glass, but not taking it. "You tend to rub 'em up the wrong way."

"Okay."

Dani started chuckling again and John grinned at her, shushing her with a finger over his lips.

"Am I the current King of England?"

"Are you—" John started laughing. "You know we don't have a king?"

"Don't we?"

"No. It's Mycroft, remember?" Dani said, making them all laugh.

"Your go." Sherlock said, flopping back in his seat as he and Dani drank.

John leaned forward this time, nearly falling off, only to push himself back using Sherlock's knee. They both looked down as he did and John shrugged.

"I don't mind."

Sherlock made a face like he didn't either, but Dani hummed.

"No, John. He's mine."

John gave her a confused look, waving a finger. "No, you have that one person and those, um… ladies at the bar."

She shook her head, slipping off the back of the chair a bit before she righter herself. "No, no, no. They're, um… word… what's that word… p… passing fancies!" She said, pointing a finger with the hand holding her drink.

"Passing fancy." John hummed in understanding as Sherlock did the same, before he returned to the game. "Am I a woman?"

Sherlock looked at him for a second, before snorting and laughing.

"What?" John questioned as Sherlock sat up again.

"Yes."

"Am I… pretty?"

"Fabulous, darling." Dani giggled, making John frown and point to the paper on his head.

"This."

Sherlock, not really knowing, tried to come up with an excuse as John rested his face on his hand.

"Eh… Eh, beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences, and role models." He rattled on as Dani squinted at him in confusion.

"Yeah, but am I a pretty lady?" John pushed for an answer and Sherlock leaned forward to read what he'd wrote on John's paper.

"I don't know who you are. I don't know who you're supposed to be."

"You picked the name!"

Sherlock waved a hand about. "Ah, but I picked it at random from the papers."

John flopped back in his seat. "You're not really getting the hang of this game, are you Sherlock?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes, instead trying to figure out his paper. "So I am human, I'm not as tall as people think I am…" He sat back in his chair. "I-I'm nice-ish."

John stretched and propped his feet on Sherlock's chair.

"…Clever, important to some people, but I tend to rub them up the wrong way." Sherlock then laughed. "Got it."

"Go on then." John encouraged.

"I'm you, aren't I?"

The trio laughed and a knock interrupted them as Mrs. Hudson came in with a young woman following her.

"Ooh-hoo. Client."

"Hallo." John called out as Sherlock waved along with Dani.

"Hallo!"

Mrs. Hudson headed back down the stairs and Dani got up from her seat, wobbling until she bumped her back into the desk behind her and played it off by gesturing to the chair she'd just left.

"Sit there. That's the client's chair." Dani smiled.

The woman looked at them, curious and slightly suspicious. "Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?"

John whistled through his teeth and Dani chuckled as the two f them pointed at the grinning Sherlock; who's name was still plastered across his forehead. After a bit of reshuffling, the trio sat on the couch with John on one side of Dani and Sherlock on the other; Dani being the only one with a refilled cup of whiskey. Tessa, the client, sat across from them in the client's chair telling the group of drunks about her case.

"I don't… a lot… I mean, I don't… date all that much."

"Join the party, sister." Dani said, holding up her glass as she and Sherlock sank back into the couch.

Tessa ignored them and went on. "And… he seemed… nice. You know?"

John smiled a bit, but he was feeling drowsy and struggled to keep from falling asleep.

"We seemed to automatically connect. We had one night. Dinner, such interesting conversation. It was… lovely."

John smiled again and looked over at Sherlock, but Dani caught this and poked his cheek harshly to make him look away.

"To be honest, I'd love to have gone further…"

Sherlock shook his head out of his daze, removing the arm he'd draped around Dani's shoulders.

"…but I thought, 'No. This is special. Let's take it slowly'."

Sherlock leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his fingers interlaced in front of his chin as his eyes slid closed.

"…exchange numbers. He said he'd get in touch and then…" She looked down sadly. "Maybe he wasn't quite as keen as I was…but I-I just thought…" Tessa had tears welling up in her eyes now and upon seeing this, Dani took a large gulp of the whiskey she had. "…at lest he'd call to say that we were finished."

Sherlock looked upset then, before he frowned as if suddenly wondering why she was upset. He glanced at Dani, wondering if she'd know, but she was more focused on watching the liquid in her cup swish around as she swirled the glass.

"I went round there. To his flat." Tessa went on, composing herself. "No trace of him. Mr. Holmes…"

Sherlock smiled a bit, but closed his eyes as she went on.

"I honestly think I had dinner… with a ghost."

Neither John nor Sherlock reacted to this and Dani obviously wasn't paying attention; eyes half lidded in a daze.

"Mr. Holmes."

Sherlock and John had both fallen asleep and upon realizing this, Tessa spoke louder and with an annoyed tone.

"With a ghost, Mr. Holmes."

Sherlock's face slipped off his hands and he wearily straightened back up again. "Boring, boring, boring—No!"

John sucked in a breath and rolled his neck as Sherlock paused.

"Fascinating!" He turned to John and Dani then. "Dani, John. John." He pushed, upon realizing John was asleep. "Wake up!"

He shook John's leg and the man waved his arm around, smacking Dani, who quickly smacked him back with a frown as Sherlock waved a finger at them both.

"Apologies about my… you know… things." He cleared his throat and frowned at the duo on the couch frowning at each other. "Rude. Rude!"

"Says you." Dani grumbled, before he turned to Tessa as she continued.

"I checked with the landlord and the man who lived there died. Heart attack. And there we are, having dinner one week on." She dug through her purse and pulled out a paper to hand to Sherlock. "And I found this thing online. Sort of chat-room thing for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world."

John fell back asleep at that point and Dani was frowning at the bottom of her empty glass, but Sherlock was ready and stood up; unsteady on his feet, but determined.

"Don't worry. I'll find him in ten minutes."

Tessa smiled, but he hardly knew what he was doing.

"What's your dog's name?"

John talked, though he was still very much asleep. "Yeah, I'm there if you want it."

"John! Wake up!" Sherlock pushed his shoulder and he slide off to the side before righting himself. "We're meant to…" Sherlock snapped his fingers. "The game is… something."

Sherlock waved his hand around, looking for the word but not finding it as he stumbled away. John, instead, took up the task as Dani groaned and plopped her glass down harshly onto the table.

"…on."

"On!" Dani said, louder and Tessa gasped in excitement as Sherlock pointed at the two of them.

"Yeah, that. That!"

Tessa led them out and hailed a cab, taking the men and Dani over to the supposed 'ghost man's' flat, where Sherlock and Dani began wandering around, looking for something to help figure out what happened with Tessa's date. John simply leaned against a pillar as they did that, commenting briefly on the state of the room.

"Ohhh, it's nice."

Sherlock, plopped down on the couch as John leaned against the pillar to keep from toppling over.

"Nice place."

Tessa stood nearby with the landlord, who obviously knew the trio were drunk, but stayed silent due to the amount of money Dani had handed him to open the door.

"See anything?" Tessa asked, once Sherlock had risen from the couch.

"Hm?"

"Any clues, Mr. Holmes?"

"Oh, uhhh…" Sherlock looked around, but all of his deductions on things were off due to his hazy drunken state. "I'm just gonna… whip this out."

He put his hand into his pocket and struggled to get whatever it was he was reaching for, and bumping into Dani on the way; pushing her between him and the couch.

He smirked. "Hello."

She smiled back. "Hi."

"Ahem." John cleared his throat and waved a finger around, and Sherlock frowned as he pulled away and dropped his coat to the ground once he had the little pouch with his tools in it.

He pulled out the sliding magnifying glass and threw the pouch over his shoulder onto the ground with a grin. From there, he knelt onto the floor to look at the rug and Tessa tapped John's arm lightly when he started to slip back asleep against the pillar.

"You alright?"

"Hm? Yeah. He's cluing." John said, thinking Tessa had asked him about Sherlock.

"What?"

"He's… hm? He's cluing for looks."

The group looked down at Sherlock, but the man soon toppled over asleep and he let out a snore.

"Mr. Holmes?… Mr. Holmes!" She called a little louder, but the landlord had had enough.

"I'm calling the police." He said, moving to haul Sherlock up from off the floor.

"No, uh—" Tessa cut herself off as the man lifted Sherlock to his knees; only for him to start flailing around.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa."

Tessa tried to explain then as Dani came over and leaned against the door frame, looking a little green.

"This is a famous detective. It's Sherlock Holmes and his partners, John Hamish Watson and…" She looked over at Dani, but the woman's name was never brought up really.

"Dani!" Dani called out, before groaning.

John approached the landlord, trying to intimidate him, but Sherlock held out his hands.

"What do you think you're doing? Don't compromise the integrity of the…" He quickly turned around and threw up on the carpet, making the landlord roll his eyes as John tried to figure out the word that came next.

"…crime scene!" He said, holding up a hand to get a high-five, before Dani spoke up.

"You got a bathroom?"

The landlord, seeing as there was another about to be sick quickly pointed down the hall, and Dani gave him a thumbs up before hurrying off and stumbling to said room to also puke. Sherlock then sat back up, pointing at John.

"Yep. That." He then clicked his magnifying glass closed and touched his bottom lip in question.

The landlord then phoned up the police and the trio were escorted out of the building, once Dani had finished in the bathroom. From there, they were brought down to the station and held up together in a cell once all their belongings had been taken. John had quickly fallen asleep and Sherlock as well, after he'd gotten out his anger at being taken from a crime scene. Dani though, was having trouble and sat in a corner of the room arguing with someone for a good portion of the night before finally slipping into unconsciousness.

The next morning though, was harder than they all thought. John woke up feeling as though every quiet noise was pounding away in his head ten times louder than it should be. The room was too bright now that sunlight had filtered in and when the door opened with a clatter, it felt like his head was going to explode.

"Wakey, wakey!" A voice called into the cell and Lestrade stood there looking rather pleased with himself.

"Oh my God… Greg, is that Greg?" John questioned, looking up at the man from on the floor.

"Get up." Lestrade said. "I'm gonna put you three in a taxi. Managed to square things with the desk sergeant."

John hoisted himself to his feet as Lestrade laughed.

"What a group of lightweights. You couldn't even make it to closing time."

"Could you whisper?" John asked as he headed for the door and Lestrade turned to him and shouted loudly.

"Not really!"

John leaned away, glaring at him as he walked out and Sherlock had sat up in a shock, dazed and confused as to where he was at. Dani though, had shifted and curled up more in her corner with her hands over her ears.

"Come on." Lestrade said to Sherlock, who tried to get up only to flop back down and have to try again.

It took him a moment, but he finally headed out and Lestrade headed over to Dani, looking slightly worried at the woman in the corner.

"Dani? You coming?

He reached out and touched her shoulder, making the woman flinch, before she uncurled herself and winced; fingers kneading her temples.

"Did you have to shout?"

Lestrade rolled his eyes. "Sorry. Figured you'd be the one to keep these two in line, but it looks like you got just as hammered." He commented, walking with her to the front desk.

"Yeah, well, I probably wouldn't of been if Tobias and I didn't fight yesterday morning before he left. Figured getting drunk out of my mind would be a nice way to spice things up. I thought Sherlock had everything all planned out so that he'd be the responsible one."

Lestrade laughed. "Oh, that's rich. Hope you and Tobias make up." He said, patting her shoulder as they reached the front desk. "I know how domestics can be and with Sherlock hanging around, I'm sure they're much worse."

"Che, you're telling me." Dani grumbled with a click of her tongue. "Thanks though, Lestrade."

"No problem." He smiled, before leaving her there with Sherlock and John as the group pulled on their coats and headed out.

"Well, thanks for a… you know… an evening." John commented, trying to be nice.

"It was awful." Sherlock grumbled, battling his own headache.

"Yeah."

"Mhmm."

Sherlock groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose as John went on.

"I was gonna pretend, but it was, truly."

"That woman, Tessa." Sherlock said, trying to think.

"What?"

"Dated a ghost. The most interesting case for months. What a wasted opportunity."

"You would say that." Dani grumbled with a roll of her eyes.

"…Okay." John said, before hurrying after her and Sherlock, trying to battle the headache that flared up upon walking outside into the sunlight.

Once back at Baker Street, Sherlock and Dani headed upstairs as John stayed down below to talk with Mrs. Hudson. Dani, meanwhile, was grabbing some food while Sherlock quickly showered and changed. She grimaced and nearly hurled in the sink upon spotting the rotting head in the fridge; the smell being nearly too much for her at the moment. She instead made up some tea and coffee for her and Sherlock, setting it on the table where his laptop waited and putting a bottled water next to it. She then, begrudgingly, started making up some pasta to help them all battle their hangovers. Just making it made her stomach churn, but she knew they needed food so she pushed through it.

When she finished, she dished some up for herself and Sherlock before she sat down on the couch and started eating. Sherlock soon exited the shower in a white button-up shirt and a suit jacket and went to his laptop, only to pause and stare at the food sitting there. He blinked at it in confusion before looking up at Dani eating away.

"Did you…" He trailed off, a finger pointing at the food.

Dani glanced up and nodded, swallowing so she could speak. "Yeah. Makes me sick trying to eat it, but I know we need it for the hangover."

He nodded but returned to stare at the food as though still questioning it's appearance. He frowned and pointed at it again as he looked at Dani.

"But you actually… made it?"

Dani rolled her eyes, exasperated. "God, you and John… Yes, I can cook. Just never bothered to before, alright? Promise it's not poisoned. So eat."

He sat down and stared at it again, hesitant, before outright turning his nose up at it.

"I don't eat when I'm on a ca—"

"You better damn well eat it, or I'll shove it down your throat, Sherlock." Dani snarled, finishing her plate and standing. "I didn't have to give you any or even make some to begin with, but I figured you'd want to be all over this ghost case and thought you might actually appreciate me helping you with your hang over. But whatever. You don't want to eat it, fine. Don't." She went into the kitchen and dropped off her dishes before coming back out and moving towards John's room. "I'm going to shower. Tell John he's welcome to the food. It'll fill him up and the taste is mild enough to not aggravate the stomach too much. Not that you care."

She stormed off, leaving Sherlock sitting there with his mouth open and in the process of trying to take in everything Dani had just said and done. She made food? He closed his mouth and looked down at the pasta with a slight frown. She made it for me? He spotted the coffee and water next to that and twisted the cap off the bottle; knowing that hydrating himself would help the headache he had and would counteract the alcohol still in his system. And she told me to eat it. Demanded I eat it, only to turn around and say she doesn't care… Does she want me to eat it? His frown deepened. But I don't eat on cases and she said she didn't care. He heard John's footsteps coming up the stares and quickly closed the site he'd been reading earlier on Major Sholto to show the ghost one, though the questions on Dani's outburst still rested heavily on his mind. Perhaps John would know.

"John, what does it mean when a woman says she wants you to do something only to say a moment later that she doesn't care if you do it or not?"

John, who'd just walked in, paused. "Uh…" He looked around, not seeing Dani. "Does this have to do with Dani, by chance?"

Sherlock frowned down at the plate of pasta, gesturing to it with a hand. "She gave me this plate and demanded I eat it or she claimed she would 'shove it down my throat'. But she then said that if I don't want to eat it, I didn't have to."

"Well, um… do you want to eat it?" John asked, wondering why Sherlock was asking him this.

"I don't eat on cases, John."

"Then don't eat it, but it'll probably upset her." John shrugged, heading for the kitchen and spotting the rest of the pasta; making him poke his head back out. "She left some here."

Sherlock waved a hand nonchalantly, eyeing the pasta a moment before going back to looking at his laptop. "She said you're free to have some. It'll help with your hangover." He frowned then realizing something. "You knew she could cook?"

John came out with a plate of food, eating it slowly. "Hm? Yeah. I found out back before the whole Guy Fawkes thing. She made Mary and I breakfast. Mm, you really should try this, Sherlock. She's a pretty good cook." He said, pointing a fork at his own plate as he went and moved to see what Sherlock was doing.

"There are going to be others." He said, confusing John.

"Others?"

Sherlock gestured to his screen and John hovered over the map that was sprawled out on the desk.

"Victims, women. Most ghosts tend to haunt a single house. This ghost, however, is willing to commute. Look."

Sherlock stood up and pointed out the pins in the map, before drifting off into his mind palace.

~~Into Mind Palace~~

Sherlock walked down the steps of a chamber room, standing in the center as he looked around at the women littered about the room. He slowly scanned over them and started picking them out one by one.

"Mm, not you. Not you. Not you. Not you…"

This continued until there are only four women left standing. He looked around at the group before facing the first woman on his far right.

"Hi."

The dark haired woman smiled, saying her name. "Gail."

He moved towards the next, a woman with auburn hair in a denim jacket.

"Charlotte."

Sherlock turned slightly to another with brown hair wearing light pink.

"Robyn."

Finally, he turned to the last, a blonde haired woman in a bright red leather jacket.

"Vicky."

He turned away and then back again, all other women gone while the four other were now standing around him.

"How did you meet?" Sherlock asked, referring to the mysterious ghost boyfriend.

"Came up to me in a pub."

"Same gym as me."

"We just got chatting on the bus."

"Online." They said, one after the other.

"Name?"

"Told you." Gail said with a confused look, making Sherlock give her a look.

"His name."

"Oscar."

"Mike."

"Terry."

"Um… 'love monkey'."

Sherlock gave Vicky a strange look, but moved on.

"Your place?"

"His." All four women said at once.

"Address."

All the women started rambling off different addresses, before Gail spoke.

"Nothing happened. It was just… very romantic."

"Four women in four nights. You must have something special."

"He was very charming."

"He listened."

"He was sweet."

"He had a lovely—"

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

"You okay?" John asked, interrupting his thinking process.

Sherlock had since moved six laptops onto the table beside his plate and mug; having been talking to each of the women through the chat-room; pausing his talk with Vicky.

"Oh, you actually ate it all. That's good." John said, motioning towards the empty plate that once had Dani's pasta on it.

"Not now, John." Sherlock said sharply, unbuttoning his jacket and kneeling down to type back to Vicky.

~~Into Mind Palace~~

"Sorry about that." He said, lowering his arm from where he'd paused her in his mind palace.

"He had a lovely manner."

Sherlock turned away from her. "Different names, different addresses." He looked back at Gail. "Describe him."

"Short blonde hair."

"Dark hair. Long."

"Ginger." Robyn shrugged. "I like gingers."

A snicker rang out through the room and Sherlock glared at the figure sitting on top of one of the seats in the darkened back row. He looked away and turned back to Vicky.

"Couldn't tell."

Sherlock gave her a look and she smirked.

"He had a mask on."

Sherlock's position shifted to behind a judge's bench, flipping through a newspaper. "He's stealing the identity of corpses, getting the names from the Obituary columns. Old, single men. He's using the dead man's flat under the assumption it'll be empty for a while. Free love nest."

"I feel sick." Gail started.

"It's gruesome." Robyn said in disgust.

"That's awful."

"Clever!" Vicky complimented, before a new voice joined the group.

"Bastard."

Tessa stood among the group of ladies now, standing between Robyn and Charlotte.

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

Sherlock looked at the sixth laptop in confusion, before shuffling over to it and typing to her sudden response.

~~Into Mind Palace~~

"Hello, Tessa." He said, before speaking back to everyone else around him. "Meanwhile, back to business. No one wants to use a dead man's home."

Vicky shrugged, not caring in the slightest and Sherlock sent her a look as he went on.

"Least, not until it's been cleared. So, he disguises himself steals the man's home, steals his identity."

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

"But only for one night." John said, popping back in. "Then he's gone."

"He's not a ghost, John." Dani grumbled, walking in the living room and drying her hair with a towel. "He just knows how to get around unnoticed."

Sherlock nodded, approvingly. "He's a mayfly. He lives for a day."

~~Into Mind Palace~~

Sherlock turned back to the women around him, not seeing the shaded figure lounging in the judge's chair behind him.

"So… What was it he was looking for?" He turned to Gail. "Job."

"Gardner." She said, now wearing overalls.

"Cook." Charlotte replied, wearing a chef's outfit.

Tessa followed, still wearing the same nursing outfit as before. "Private nurse."

"I do security work." Robyn answered, decked out in a security officer's uniform as Vicky's outfit also changed.

"Maid."

Sherlock frowned for a moment with a huff, before it clicked. "Obvious. You all work for the same person."

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

Sherlock began skimming through each woman's background in search of their employer, but each one was different.

~~Into Mind Palace~~

"No, no. Not the same employer. Damn." He cursed. "Come on, we can do this. Ideal night out." He asked them, going around the circle again.

"Clay pigeon shooting."

"Line dancing."

"Pictures?"

"Wine in front of the telly."

"Dungeon."

Sherlock shook his head a bit at Vicky with a grimace, before thinking again. "Make-up."

"Clarins."

"No. 7."

"Maybelline."

"Nothing special."

"Whatever's cheap."

"Perfume." Sherlock tried again.

"Chanel."

"Chanel."

"Chanel."

Sherlock, thinking he may have got it, turned to Robyn in excitement as she too said, 'Chanel', but Vicky quickly snuffed the hope in the bud.

"Estée Lauder."

Sherlock shook his head and turned to Tessa. "Ideal man?"

"George Clooney." She hummed dreamily.

"Oh, no." Sherlock sighed out, as Gail spoke.

"Home-loving."

"He'd have to like cuddling."

"Caring."

"Ten things." Vicky said, holding up her thumb as she started listing them off. "One, someone who isn't competitive with other men. Two, someone who isn't constantly trying to define himself by his masculinity—"

Sherlock held his hand up to stop her, a frown firmly etched on his face.

"There's a unifying factor, there has to be… None of you reported anything stolen." He looked around and began pointing them out. "Security guard, gardener, cook, maid, private nurse. He's romancing his way up a pecking order. Somebody's pecking order." He closed his eyes. "Come on, think… Unless…"

He turned to Gail, opening his eyes with a small smile.

"Do you have a secret you've never told anyone?"

"No." All the women said at once, a little too quickly.

Sherlock smirked, grinning widely. "Gotcha."

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

"What do you mean?" John asked and Sherlock turned to him, continuing to smile.

"Everyone has secrets and they all replied too quickly."

Dani though, eyed him suspiciously.

~~Into Mind Palace~~

"Gotta go." Gail said, turning and disappearing from the judge's chamber.

"See ya." Charlotte replied, also leaving.

"No." Sherlock muttered, beginning to panic as the women left one by one.

"Bye-bye."

"Wait!" Sherlock begged.

"Sorry, sexy." Vicky said, winking. "Some secrets have to stay secret."

She too left and the only person remaining was Tessa, who smiled. "Enjoy the wedding."

~~Out of Mind Palace~~

Sherlock let out a sigh and promptly slammed the lid on the first laptop closed in his anger.

"Why? Why would he date all of those women and not return their calls?"

John shuffled with a smile. "You're missing the obvious, mate."

Sherlock turned to him, looking for an answer. "Am I?"

"He's a man."

Sherlock closed his laptop lid and went around closing the others as well. "But why would he change his identity?"

Dani sat up on the couch, hands clasped together under her chin. "You said he's climbing up a pecking order, right? Maybe he's after something or the person at the top."

"Maybe he's married." John suggested, though that hadn't been what Dani was going for.

"Oh." Sherlock mused, believing himself to have finally got it.

(Flashback end)