(I own only plot.)

A/N: And new chapter! Enjoy. Thank you to all my magpies for everything you've done to keep my inspiration and this story going. You're all brilliant and I love you all. (P.S. Everything in brackets and italics (italics) are thoughts.)

Trigger warning: Dark themes. This is T for a reason.

*Amber's POV*

I sit and stare into space as the coach drives us to the pyramids. Jasper has a pass, he knows what he's doing. I miss having Trudy. For the millionth time today, I sit and sink my nails into my palm. I wish I could find and save Trudy. I need her back. Jasper needs her. Everyone does. Not having her is like not having oxygen. "Amber, would you stop?" Jerome asks, dragging me out of my shadowed thoughts.

"Stop what?"

"Thinking! The smoke's getting to me!"

I don't understand why, but I punch him. I just see red and before I know it, I've punched him in the face. I've bruised his cheek bone. Oh, God. Unluckily, Mara's seen it and she yells "Jasper, Amber's punched Jerome!"

I give her a look that I wish could kill her. Jasper, unluckily, has chosen today to be annoyed at everything and he isn't having it. He gets up and grabs my arm. For someone so nice, usually, he's really strong and violent when he's in a mood. He drags me to sit down at the front with him and almost dislocates my arm in the process. But instead of complaining, I stay mute. I understand his annoyance and know it isn't directed at me. As everyone gets back to what they were doing, he murmurs "Amber, why did you do that?"

"I wish I could tell you why, but I don't even know myself."

He sighs and softly says "It's okay to tell me why. What brought it on?"

"I was thinking... And he told me to stop it because the smoke was getting to him... And I saw red... I honestly didn't mean to do it."

I'm genuinely ashamed of myself. I really wish I could be in Trudy's place now. If anyone deserves what she's being put through, it's me. At least there's nobody alive today who loves me. She's got people who love and miss her. Jasper's still really quiet as he says "I understand, Amber."

I nod quietly. I feel like such a disappointment. I'm a worthless human being. I've let Trudy down, I've let Jasper down, I've punched one of the only people who showed the slightest bit of concern for me and I've really humiliated myself. I wish I was dead... "Thanks, Jasper. And I'll apologise to Jerome as soon as the coach stops."

He nods at me and I notice that his thoughts are on Trudy again. His voice is unusually thick as he asks "Is your arm alright? You're holding it at an odd angle."

I nod, even though it hurts and it's swelling a little. "It's fine."

He seems to know I'm lying and I curse the powers that be that he's trained, just like Trudy was, in the way of spotting a lie. He says "I'm going to ask you that again. And if you don't tell me the truth, we are going to turn this coach around, go back to the hotel and we are going to discuss what lying about health and safety can do. Is it okay?"

"No, but I can handle it."

He sighs and says "Okay, we've got a medic at the site. We'll get it checked out and patched up."

As he looks away, I check it. It's swollen up, at an odd angle, just like he said and it's purple now. Great, that's all I need. It's broken. I sigh softly and look out of the window. I guess I earned it. It's not like he hurt me intentionally, but still. I wonder if he'd ever do this if we somehow manage to get Trudy back alive...

I wait until we reach the pyramids and everyone's getting off the coach before I try anything. By the time the coach stops, I'm feeling terrible for what I did and I realise too late that I've gripped my broken arm and I'm shaking it, jarring it. It hurts when I realise I'm doing it, but I'm so done with everything that I don't care any more. I jar it once more in the empty coach and squeak as there's a horrific crunch and my skin splits, two sharp pieces of bone sticking out. I gasp, seeing the blood and the world darkening and spinning in front of me. I start to feel very sick and dizzy and my head feels like my skull's contracting onto my brain. I squeak as I shakily stand and crash into every seat and pole and window on the way out. I don't make it to the door, though, before I fall to my knees with a thud that dully resonates through my head and the world blackens. I hear a small, faint, masculine voice shout "Amber!" before I faint entirely.

I wake to someone stroking my hair out of my eyes. I get my eyes to open and a copper-haired woman comes into view. "She's waking up. Amber, honey?"

I see her better as my eyes focus. "Who are you?"

"Hey, sweetie, I'm Jessica. I'm a friend of Jasper's. Listen, do you remember what happened to you?"

"I got really dizzy and I fell... Nothing else much," I tell her, feeling really sick. I can't move my arm and I realise it's been plastered up.

"Well, honey, when you fell, your arm broke more and the bones became really sharp and tore through your skin. It sent you into shock and you tried to get help, then fainted. How do you feel?"

"Sick. Really sick."

Jessica gently lifts me and puts a bucket in front of me. Jasper comes in and sees me being supported, then asks "Are you okay? Ish?" I give him a sideways look that sends him backtracking. "Okay, stupid question. Forget I asked that. Do you want anything to eat?"

Jessica looks at me expectantly. I manage "No, thanks," before I'm violently sick into the bucket. (Denying food, wisest move you've ever made, Millington, you fat blonde dummy.)

"Okay, then. Well, Ade's taking them around the pyramid now," Jasper says, looking at me with pity.

I get one last heave, then flop weakly onto my pillows. I shut out the world again, wishing the darkness would swallow what little life force I have left and leave my useless, broken shell of a body behind. (The world willl be better without you, Millington.)

Hope this was good enough. Let me know what you think!

Song quote of the day: I know this pain/ Why do you lock yourself up in these chains/ No one can change your life except for you/ Don't ever let anyone step all over you/ Is it really fair/ To feel this way inside? ~Hold On, Wilson Phillips.

Until next time, hugs for everyone! C. xx