I dunno why I keep putting off updating. It only takes like an hour and a half to write a chapter, and on Wednesdays, I really have nothing else better to do. XD I only have one class today, and I've already made a lasagna and done all my homework. I am a BEAST.

So here's another chapter. You're welcome. XD

Enjoy~

Hazel stuck her nose out into the void. The wind blew back her whiskers into her eyes, making her wince. It stung a bit but it was worth it to see such spiraling, endless grayness.

It spread out beneath her, the mountain's flanks, the valley beneath, so distant that it looked like a white pelt, marked here and there by jutting gray stone and patches where a river cut through the ground. It was probably hard with ice, frozen solid. The day before, she and Kale had found a frozen river and slid across the top of it. It had been one of the funnest thing she'd ever done in her life.

She glanced over at him now. He was crouched like her, his paws overhanging the gap, looking completely at ease. Of course someone so sure of himself would look at home here, Hazel thought, her eyes roving over him, his pale pelt, only looking not-white because of the glaring brightness of the snow around him. His paws dipped in the wind, the claws unsheathing and sheathing at the breeze, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure.

And when he looked over at her, softness.

"What do you think?" he asked. Behind him, snow fell in heaving gasps from the mountaintop. They showered down a mile away, dusting the gray stone.

"It's amazing! I've never seen so much stuff at once. It's like the whole world right in front of me." She stretched her paw out over the gap. "Like I could almost touch it."

Kale purred, his eyes closed to happy slits. "I'm glad you like it. I found it a few days ago patrolling around with Ren and Violet."

"Yes, a bunch of sappy sops," she said. "Making eyes at each other whenever they get the chance. There'll be kits soon, you'll see."

"Just because they're in love doesn't mean they have to have kits, Hazel." He whapped her playfully across the nose with his soft paw. "You're thinking into it too much."

She harrumphed. "We'll see. I'll be right, you know."

"Yes, because you always are. Like when you said the ice wouldn't break yesterday. And what did you get? Soaked fur and a scolding from Twist."

Hazel put her ears back and scoffed. "Twist can go chase her own tail. I'm tired of her mothering over me."

"She's your mother."

"She's my guardian," Hazel corrected. "She was. When I was a kit."

Sympathetically, he said, "You're still young. She feels the need to protect you."

The silent from me hovered between them like a cloud of vapor. It distanced them. And Hazel didn't want distance.

She scooted over until her flank touched his and nestled her cheek against his bony shoulder. It pushed up her skin nearly over her eye, so she just closed it, looking over the valley with one eye. "I don't care. I don't need protecting. I've got you. You'll protect me, won't you?"

Kale made an odd little sound, like a start of surprise. Then he said, "Of course. That's my job now. You're my first priority, Hazel."

She yawned sleepily, shutting her other eye. In the warm darkness of dozing, she felt him shift a bit, putting his muzzle on top of her head and beginning to clean her ears. It felt nice, this closeness. Comforting.

Twist always told her to be safe, to not go out with Kale alone. She didn't trust him. She didn't trust anybody. Not even herself, Hazel thought sometimes.

Well, that was all fine anyway. Hazel felt very safe with Kale, safer than she'd felt with anybody before.

Except Streak.

Agony ripped through her, nearly bowing her in half. He'd avoided her ever since that night out on the mountainside when he'd confessed that he loved her. Every time she tried to catch his eyes or speak with him, he'd coast away easy as a shadow, disappearing into the mountain's savageness or dipping between cats and away.

I don't want this, she thought. Out of everything, that was the only problem, the only splotch of imperfection in this new life. She wanted Streak. She loved him. But not in the way he wanted her to.

I can't help it, she thought. You can't help who you love, after all. Kale got to my heart first. That's all. That's it. Declan and Twist only have each other, after all. That's good enough for them. They never had doubts about anything.

Declan had told her, once when she was a tiny kit, about soulmates. He'd set her down between his big warm paws and told her the story of how he'd met Twist.

"Some cats, you just know," he said. "I knew Twist the moment I saw her. It felt like I'd been looking for her my whole life and I'd only just realized it. When I set eyes on her, I knew in some way, she'd been waiting for me, too."

Hazel had been confused. Too young for such grand talks of love and devotion. She remembered asking, "So does that mean you're done? No more?"

And Declan had laughed and drawn her close and touched his nose to hers in that easy, affectionate way he had, and he'd said, "I am absolutely done."

Kale asked, "Are you happy?"

Hazel jerked out of her half-doze, blinking in the bright sunlight. "Happy?"

"With this," he said, gesturing with a paw to the mountain behind them. Then more hesitantly, added, "With...me."

Hazel sat upright very quickly. Too quickly; her head spun. She looked over at him, sitting uneasily, his mouth at an angle. "Of course," she said. "I love you. I want this. I want you."

Kale's eyes widened. "But do... Never mind."

"No, tell me." She laid a paw across his, leaning close. His whiskers mixed with hers.

Kale looked away for a moment, his throat working, then back to her. "Do you really love me? Are you sure you haven't just tricked yourself into it somehow? You're not just playing along with me, are you?"

Hazel was mad. She pushed away from him and to her paws, stalking down the mountainside. Behind her, he scurried to his paws and followed after her, concern in his voice when he spoke.

"I don't mean it like that. Hazel, stop."

"Playing along with you," she spat. "Do you think I'd really do that? That this is just some kind of game to pass the time?"

"No," he said, sounding so desperate that she did stop. She turned around and glared at him, angry for the accusation and angry that he'd thought so deeply into it.

He was standing hunched, his head low, his paws spread across the icy ground. Even slumped over, he was taller than her, but not narrower. Hazel's legs were nothing but twigs next to his.

"I didn't mean it like that," he muttered, not meeting her eyes. "I just... I don't know. I was afraid that you wouldn't love me anymore if I came up here. I was afraid you wouldn't want me."

Hazel's throat felt full of mud. "Then why didn't you say that earlier?"

"I didn't want you to think that I was pathetic. For wanting you so badly that I followed you into the mountains." He took in a deep, sharp breath. "I just want to be with you. Not being with you feels...wrong."

A pang of something deep and aching went through her chest. Anger gone, she moved up to him and put her head beneath his chin, closing her eyes. "You worry too much," she said. "I mean, you're still the same cat from that night under the stars, aren't you? The one who told me he loved me." The one I love more than anything else.

Kale didn't laugh but he made an approximate noise, a low sound that echoed through her ear against his chest. "Do you doubt me?"

"No," she whispered against his fur.

"Then that's all that counts. Now come on," he said, breaking away from her, light coming back into his pale blue eyes. "They'll be missing us."

Hazel laughed, springing through the snow ahead of him. "Since when do you care about what they want?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a small, dark shape curving into the body of the mountain, but when she looked back, it was gone and quickly forgotten.

XXXXXXXXX

Twist, predictably, was furious.

"Do you have a hearing problem?" she demanded. "Do you have some sort of mental deficiency? Were you not listening when I said, very clearly, not to go out into the mountains in groups smaller than three?"

"Well, we were at two," Hazel said testily, already bored with this conflict. "That's close enough."

"Close enough," Twist echoed hollowly.

"I mean, what were you expecting? If I fell off a mountain, how would having two cats make a difference? One could sob over my broken body and the other could also sob?"

Twist's teeth were bared. "You are infuriating and childish," she said. "You don't get that you make cats worry."

"There's no need to worry anymore!" Hazel snapped. Everyone was watching as they ate sparse meals of captured rabbits and tiny mountain birds. "What threat is out here in the middle of nowhere? Nobody lives here but us!"

"And wolves," Marco supplied helpfully, looking up from where he was grooming Max's torn ears. "And eagles. And foxes. And mountain lions. And no-pelts. And poisonous plants and cavities and wind to blow you off the ground and snow that can blind you."

Hazel whirled on him, her fur up. "Nobody asked you."

Far from looking annoyed, Marco looked faintly amused. "Sorry, Hazel. The dramatics of kits don't interest me."

She let out a furious, muffled screech from between her teeth. "I don't have to deal with this right now. I'm going hunting."

She stalked to the mouth of the tunnel but Declan was there.

He stepped up and stood in her way, a mournful expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Hazel," he said. "But you can't go out by yourself. Two others, remember."

She whirled back to the watching cats. Most of them had gone back to their business of eating or grooming each other, but Kale hadn't. He was laying by himself on the outskirts, not making eye-contact with anybody. Nobody trusted him because of his old gang, the Claws. Nobody probably ever would.

"Kale," she said.

"Two," Declan reminded her patiently.

"Then you can come with us."

Declan laughed, fondly ruffling her ears with a paw. "Out into the freezing afternoon? No, I'm too old for that."

"You're not old," Hazel accused, her anger fading. She couldn't stay mad for long at Declan, no matter how hard she wanted to. "You're just lazy."

"Yes," he agreed readily. "Yes, I am."

Kale had skittered up next to her, standing in his uncertain way. Declan was watching him, a measured expression on his face, curiously non-emotive for Declan. Like he was being very, very careful.

"Two," Declan said again.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Streak look up quickly and away again.

Hazel hated that this was so hard. It was nearly impossible for her to ask him, knowing how different things were. The ground had shifted, and nothing was how it had been. But she wanted it to be.

So she said, "Catch, want to come? We can go hunting."

She was so certain he would say no. So certain that she'd already prepared herself for the disappointment of his rejection, bracing herself for the impact of those words.

But to her astonishment, he got to his paws and crossed the tunnel to her side. The look on his face was his usual serene one, flat somehow, like it was a thin layer of ice stretched across coursing water.

"Sure, I could do some hunting." He looked over his shoulder through the gloom to Twist, who was looking at him with open shock, her mouth parted. "Three," he said. "Is that okay, Twist? Declan?"

Twist didn't recover in time so Declan said, "Yes, of course, Streak. You're in charge."

In the midst of the den, Lightfoot snorted. "I can see how this'll go," she said to no one in particular.

Outside, the sun was about halfway down to the horizon. It made the light dimmer, orangey like marigold petals.

Streak led the way down the mountainside, his footsteps sure. Kale followed up behind, at Hazel's side. But curiously, Hazel wished he'd stand a little further away, not so close that his fur brushed hers with every step. When he dipped down to press his cheek to hers and Streak saw and turned away quickly, Hazel felt a hot stab of embarrassment, even though she'd never felt embarrassed of him before. She wasn't sure why she was feeling it now.

They reached the usual hunting spot, a clump of bristly black scrub. Thorns mostly, dried to husks that broke beneath even the gentlest touch.

Streak went headfirst into them, wincing his eyes closed from the thorns' grabbing, and Hazel followed.

Kale stopped at the edge, looking uncertain. "In here?"

"Come on!" Hazel shouted, leaping up to him. Her tail was curled over her back but the breeze pushed it further away, tugging at her fur. "Let's go catch something. It'll take your mind off of it."

Kale said warily, "Of what?"

Hazel gave him a knowing look. Behind her, she felt the familiar weight of Streak's gaze on her. "Of everybody disliking you. I'm not stupid, you know. I noticed."

Everybody had noticed because everybody was treating Kale like a pariah. Blood meant nothing to Hazel. It shouldn't mean anything to anybody. Just because someone was related to a bad cat didn't make them inherently bad. It wasn't something controlled by who your father was or who your siblings were. It was ridiculous to have it treated that way.

Kale's mouth quirked, but in a sad kind of way, almost a frown. "It's not that. But really, thanks for reminding me."

Hazel touched her nose to his. "It doesn't matter. I like you. That's all that counts."

Kale didn't say anything, but his eyes softened.

Behind them, Streak cleared his throat significantly. "You know," he said stiffly, "if I wanted to see you two make eyes at each other, I would have stayed back in the den. It's warmer there anyway."

Hazel looked over at him curiously but he'd already looked away. The fur along his spine was up and his tail swished side to side, too jerky and sudden.

He's mad, she realized. It took awhile for that to sink in, because she could count only a few times when she'd seen him truly angry. Including the night he told her he loved her.

Another guilty twist in her stomach. Another breathless, wordless ache.

Kale whispered, "You should go talk to him."

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Yes he does. Everyone can see it." His voice dropped a pitch. "Even me. Especially me. Just do it, okay? For me."

It was odd, she thought, for Kale to say that. For me. As if Hazel didn't already want to talk to Streak, almost more than anything. As if Kale knew him better than she did.

"Okay," she said. "Go hunt."

"I will." They touched noses and he sprang in the opposite direction, his pale fur swallowed up by thorns.

Hazel turned in Streak's direction, taking a deep, steadying breath. Then she moved to his side.

He was staring resolutely in front of him, his jaw tense. She could see the muscles standing out through his fur.

She looked up at him, at the face she'd known for as long as she could remember. It was his face that she always thought of when she thought of home. The word was synonymous with him. If he wasn't with her, then she wasn't home.

"Streak," she said softly.

He didn't move but his legs were shaking slightly.

Hazel looked down at the ground. Her white paws looked so tiny next to his massive pawprints, like she still was a kit tagging after him, following and nattering and annoying him. But he'd never gotten cross with her. Only recently had she realized that was because he'd been selected to watch over her. But that didn't matter anymore.

"Streak, I don't want you to hate me."

Now he moved. He laughed, a sullen broken sound.

Pushing on, she said, "I don't know what you want me to say. I want things to be like they were before, back when we were best friends. I hate not talking to you. I hate you not talking to me."

"Hazel, there is nothing stopping us from being best friends."

"But there is," she insisted. "You're...you're jealous of Kale."

All the breath left him in one solid heave. He turned to look down at her incredulously, his eyes wide. "Is that really what you think? That it's about him? That I'm jealous?"

It sounded foolish now, and Hazel wished she hadn't said it. But it was too late now.

Quietly, she said, "Because I don't love you like you want me to."

Streak dropped his stiff mask now. He looked stricken. "Hazel, you can't possibly believe that's why I haven't spoken to you. I don't—It doesn't matter if you don't...you know...like I do. I mean, it's hard now. Stars, it's hard. But..." He took in a deep breath before continuing all in one rush. "But I want you to be happy. And if that's with Kale, that's fine. That's great, even."

"I am happy," Hazel said, her voice a whisper for some reason.

Streak nodded jerkily. "Then that's all that counts. I'm happy for you." He nudged her. "Now come on, Patch. I'll race you to catch something."

"Great!" she said, relief as strong as fire in her chest. This was perfect now, she thought as they leapt through thorns, coordinating and moving together without even speaking, the way she'd always moved with him.

A bird sat in front of them, pecking at specks on the ground.

Across the way, Streak met her eyes. He nodded her forward.

Hazel watched for a moment, uneasiness creeping up into her mind. She'd still never killed something before. That one time with Kale had been the closest she'd ever gotten to hunting something that wasn't her own tail or a shadow. Lightfoot had been teaching her the methods to do it but only on leaves or rocks. Never something with a heartbeat.

Hazel took a step forward, keeping her body low. The bird didn't even notice. It was rapt on its pecking, not even realizing the danger until Hazel had curled her legs and sprang.

It was between her paws then, a live burst of panic. It bit and scratched at her pads but she felt nothing but exhilaration. Exhilaration of having this living thing so tightly within her grasp, its life within her reach. Its heartbeat fluttered beneath her touch, its eyes nearly bugging out of its head. It was cawing with pain from its trapped wings, wings that would never gather wind beneath them again.

It was a thrill. It was something she'd never experienced. It was a power.

Gently, she extended her claws. They bit into the bird's flesh.

At once, it went rigid. Its tiny chest heaved with quick, shallow breaths, its eyes unblinking.

Hazel watched it greedily, the smell of blood sharp in her nose. Then she flexed her claws a bit deeper.

The bird screamed.

"Hazel!" Streak was there, swatting her paws apart. The bird fell limply to the ground, bleeding, and he broke its neck with a thump of his forepaw, ending its pain.

Hazel stared at the unmoving body, blinking heavily, like she was waking up.

Steak was furious. "What in the stars' name was that?" he demanded. "You were torturing it!"

"What? No I wasn't."

"Yes you were. A hunter doesn't play with their food, Hazel. We kill quickly and mercifully. We don't split their skin and watch them bleed." His expression was contorted. "Honestly, what were you thinking? Couldn't you tell it was in agony?"

Hazel looked down at the bird again. She had known it was in agony. But that had been the rush of it.

Sickly, poisonous guilt fell like a stone in her stomach. She felt her whole body move with it.

Pushing herself up, she stepped back several steps, eyes locked on the bird.

She'd like it. She'd loved it.

And that was sick.

"I don't know," she was saying, before she even knew she was speaking. "I don't know. I don't know."

It ran in an endless loop in her head. That confusion. That bloodlust. Where it had filled her veins with power before, now it flooded with nausea. She thought she might be sick.

Kale bounded from out of the thorns, a mouse in his mouth. He dropped it and rushed to her side at once, pressing his flank to hers.

"What happened?" he asked, sounding panicky.

Streak didn't say anything. Neither did Hazel. They were still staring at each other, Hazel with desperate confusion, Streak with a very, carefully-blank expression.

Kale looked between them. "Is somebody going to explain this?"

"Hazel caught a bird but couldn't kill it," Streak said smoothly. "It upset her."

"Oh." Kale's fur relaxed. "Well, that's okay. Everybody's first kill is the hardest. You'll do better next time, Hazel."

He swallowed it right up, she thought. He hadn't even imagined she would be capable of such cruelty. If he'd looked closer, he could have seen the clawmarks in the body or smelled the blood. But he didn't. He trusted her not to lie.

Streak had lied very convincingly. How many times had he done that to her, only for her not to notice?

"Well, this is enough, anyway." Streak picked up the bird, Kale the mouse, and they went back to the den, where everybody was waiting for them.

Hazel kept her eyes on the ground, her mind turned inward. Why did that happen to me? she wondered numbly, her pawsteps reverberating up into her bones hollowly. Why did I lose control like that?

It obviously wasn't normal. After all, Streak had killed hundreds of prey animals and he'd never lost his mind like that.

It was just a fluke, a one-time thing. It has to be.

Hazel would not allow herself to be a monster. And what she'd done had been monstrous.

But even that flew out of her head when they walked into the den.

Because right in the center of it, surrounding by the hostile knot of Sliders, was an unfamiliar gray tabby tom, stained with blood.

"They know," he said, talking directly to Twist, who was standing the closest.

They know, Hazel thought, a thrill of dread strangling off her breath. The Watchers.

The tom swallowed with difficulty; blood matted his throat. "They know about you. And they're coming."

God, this thing has been stagnating. The plot, that is. This is mostly because half the time, I'm making stuff up as I go along, I've realized. Not to worry, however, because now I have an outline. They really are helpful things, outlines.

Oh, right! I was gonna say! We, reader, should be friends on the Tumblrs. I'm Unknown-Soldier-Shadow, so you should follow me so I can follow you and we can all have a nice Tumblr experience. Also because basically I just love Tumblr and want to see more postings and giggle at the funnies.

So that's it. I'm gonna go... I dunno. I'll find something productive to do, I guess. XD

R&R~

Shadow