Chapter 26

26.1 Masterweaver

"WE'RE PAINTING THE ROSES RED!" screeched the soldiers, waving their jagged machetes with maniac grins.

Ruby batted them away, twirling Crescent Rose and blasting a Jubjub out of the sky. "Are things always this dangerous around here?"

"In some ways, perhaps, but doubtfully the ways you mean." The blue-dressed girl next to her kicked away a Tove, reloading her shotgun. "I do apologize for the mess."

"Nah, it's fine Alice. You've got a damaged loop, that's perfectly understandable." Ruby offhandedly swung her scythe over her shoulder, smacking a ninja with unusually thick boots in the face. "I heard you kept running through admins?"

"That was true, though it is not." Leveling her gun, she fired-and what seemed for all the world to be a lizard in a hat slammed into the face of a bandersnatch. "Phobetor Ikelos now serves this branch."

"Who?"

"Greek god of nightmares."

Ruby nodded. "Makes sense. Say, should we be expecting a Jabberwock?"

"Always the Jabberwock," Alice said, amusement in her voice. "Perhaps, though I suggest focusing on the Snarks."

"What, you want me to snark at you?"

"No, Snarks. Those things." Alice waved her gun at a particular part of the horde, shooting them with more hat-lizards. "The Jabberwock is well known, where the Snarks are... ignored."

"Really?" Ruby gave the creatures a look. "What's so bad about them?"

"Most of them... nothing. But a Snark may very well be a Boojum." Alice gripped her gun. "And that could be... troubling."

26.2 Masterweaver

Ruby sat down next to Weiss. "Okay. You've been on this bench staring at nothing for a while now. What's going on?"

The white-haired girl sighed. "...It's nothing. Really."

"Do you mean 'it's nothing' as in 'don't worry about it,' or do you mean 'it's nothing' in the sense that you have a lack of something that you are worrying about?"

Weiss gave Ruby a flat look. "Yes."

"Come on. We're partners! Talk to me!"

"You're just going to keep pestering me until I do, aren't you."

"Yep."

Weiss slumped into the bench. "It's just... Pyrrha and Jaune are together, and they've all but formally adopted Nora and Ren. Yang and Blake are dating-finally-and Cinder's your sister, even with her whole... thing. Zwei's your pet, Roman and Neo have each other, even Ozpin and Glynda are... I don't know if boyfriend/girlfriend is right, but there's some sort of partner thing going on there."

She gestured at herself. "And then there's me. You're all great friends, but I'm the only looper in the group that doesn't have... family. I mean looping family. And yes, I know it's kind of silly, and I really shouldn't be jealous, and that... that we're like family, but... I don't know. I just feel... lonely, sometimes."

Ruby nodded, rubbing Crescent Rose idly. "Yeah. That's... I think I know how that feels. Anchors get a lot of lonely loops." She rolled her eyes. "Technically we're the only ones that can get lonely loops, but with stealthers and all... What I mean to say is, I know how it feels to be alone in a crowd."

"Oh my gosh. I'm sorry, Ruby, I wasn't thinking, and-" Weiss gripped her hand. "You know I didn't mean to make light of your issues, right?"

"No, it's fine. Pain is relative, after all." The red-hooded girl grinned, patting the hand. "It's okay, really. I do pretty well... mostly." She coughed, glancing away with a blush. "Just don't ask what I do when I'm alone."

"Got it."

"Anyway, this is really about you. You having no looping family." Ruby got off the bench. "Luckily, I know just how to fix that."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Ruby, I don't think even you could activate Winter."

"No, no, I'm going to take a page out of Pyrrha's book here."

Ruby turned around, kneeling before Weiss and wrapping her hands around the other girl's, looking deep into her eyes. Weiss felt a sudden nervousness well up inside her.

"Ruby, what-"

"Weiss Schnee," Ruby rose intoned, solemnly. "Will you do me... the enormous honor... of becoming... my..."

Time seemed to freeze around the two, even the trees holding their breath.

"...adopted daughter?"

Weiss blinked.

She blinked again.

"...What." Her voice was so frosty and cold, the ground around her began to freeze over, icicles growing impossibly upward in a fractal, radial pattern.

Rose beamed. "Well, I thought you could use a motherly influence in your life-"

Weiss pulled her hands for Ruby's grip, grasping at the air. In one appeared the Myrtenaster, barrel rolling for fire dust; a lightsaber flared to life in the other, and she rose from the bench. "Ruby Rose. Run."

Ruby stood, putting her hands on her hips. "That's no way to talk to your mother!"

A few minutes later, Yang and Blake watched the two run by, one laughing, one shouting. After a moment, they shrugged and turned back to their food.

26.3 Masterweaver

"Hey sis!" Yang waved eagerly. "Meet my new partner!"

Ruby stared at her. "...Yang. That's an Ursa."

"BRWAAAAAA," growled the Ursa.

Yang shrugged. "Well, Ozpin did say the first person I made eye contact with would be my partner."

"It's a Grimm," Ruby pointed out. "It has no soul. It's not a person."

The Ursa snuffed.

"Ruby Rose!" Yang huffed, patting the Ursa's head gently. "I'm sorry, buddy, I had no idea my little sister was so prejudiced."

"Pre-?! Yang, we're being trained as Huntresses! It will literally be our job to kill these things! It's trying to maul you right now!"

"That's just a little friendly wrestling!"

26.4 Masterweaver

"...Go on," Ruby grumped. "Say it."

Yang tilted her head quizzically. "Say what?" A small smile played on her face.

"You know what!"

"Oooooooh, that. What makes you think I'd ever say that?"

"First," Ruby counted off, "you're my older sister. Second, you love puns. Third, you said the same thing baseline, right now. Really, the situation is perfect."

"Well, the opportunity may be sweet as honey, but I wouldn't want you to break out in hives from the stress."

Ruby's antennae twitched. "...are you... are you just going to dance around this the whole loop?"

"Puns are a much maligned, delicate art form of humor. I consider this to be a... eusocial challenge."

"So you're not going to say it."

"I didn't say that," Yang replied. "Only that I feel you'll be buzzing with anticipation, waiting for that moment when I show my true... stripes."

Ruby groaned, leaning against a wall. "I don't think bug faunus are even baseline. What is Yggdrassil thinking?!"

26.5 Weaver, again

"If it were up to me, you'd be sent home... with a pat on the back... and a slap on the wrist!"

Ruby slid her hand just half a foot sideways, avoiding the riding crop with a sardonically raised eyebrow. Glenda Goodwitch, to her credit, didn't even break character.

"But... there is someone here who would like to meet you."

A ragged-bearded man with a mohawk in a Hawaiian shirt humped from the door, slamming his hands into the desk. "SO YE WEE NEEMLIN BE FIGHTER, EH?!"

"Um. Yeeees?"

"MUCKLRE DAMN! LOOK YE, SILVER EYES, THIS NAW FIGHT, THAT BE TROUNCEMAGMENT." The man waved a bottle at Glenda's scroll, where Ruby's actions were playing, and then slugged back a chug.

Ruby took the moment to recheck her loop memories... before inwardly groaning. Headmaster Henderson. She knew she'd heard that name before...

26.6 Still Weaver

Blake flipped another page, managing to restrain her chuckles even as she smiled. "I guess Yang does have a few good books in her library."

"I'm actually surprised you like that one. I found it to be a bit silly."

The cat faunus sighed as a corgi hopped up next to her. "Zwei, if you're looking for Ruby, she's out trying to make a cookie rifle."

"No, I'm actually here to talk to you."

Blake bookmarked her place and pocketed the copy of Pride Prejiduce and Zombies Yang had given her. "This had better be good."

"Look, you don't like being stereotyped, right? I mean, beyond the faunus thing, everyone thinking you're afraid of water or like yarn balls, you know, cat things... you don't like people doing that."

"I don't like people making assumptions, no. I mean, I like tuna, but that's because I like tuna. Not because... cat."

"So... why don't you like me?" Zwei gestured between them. "I mean... cat, dog. That is one of the biggest stereotypes around. And it's not even completely true, there are plenty of cats and dogs who get along."

Blake frowned. "It's... personal."

"Personal."

"And..." Blake sighed. "And it's loop variable. Look, Zwei, if you really want, I'll try to get along with you better, but... it's going to take time, alright?"

After a moment, the corgi shrugged. "Guess that's the best I can ask for."

26.7 It's Weaver, again

"...Hey Weiss."

"Yes Ruby?"

"Have you ever considered, just for kicks, putting your ponytail on the other side of your head?"

"...Huh. Now that you mention it, no. Actually, it's a new loop. I think I'll do that, I mean what's the worst that could-?"

Oceans of Grimm poured from the forest, screeching as they swept against the legions of atlasean mechas. The moon rumbled and shuddered, yet another shard screaming into the atmosphere. In the sky, Ozpin and Salem battled over the last cheese sandwich on the planet; Cinder fell, weeping, into Amber's arms as the White Fang evacuated Vale and flew their skyships to Menagerie. Explosions of dust, in all its kinds, rattled the ground beneath team JNPR as they desperately held off an army of Penny-duplicates chanting in R'lyehian. Qrow and Winter had merged into a massive white bird, breathing ice against the Grimm Dragon.

Ruby and Weiss observed the devastation, somewhere between utterly shocked and completely exasperated.

"Okay." The Schnee heiress pulled off her ponytail. "Never doing that again."

26.8 Take a wild guess

"Okay Yang, Ruby and Weiss are busy playing some new hub game, JNPR's off on another family outing, and I think Ozpin and Glynda are scheming to give the Penny-style robots equal civil rights. Everybody's distracted." Blake leaned against a wall. "What did you want to show me?"

"Well, you know how Adam slices off my arm in baseline?"

Blake winced. "...yes."

"It's not always the same arm. Usually it's the right one, but sometimes it's the left, and occasionally he goes for a leg." Yang pulled a table from her Pocket and started placing dismembered limbs on it. "So I figured, why not start a collection?"

Blake stared as row upon row of arms and occasional legs were arrayed atop a white tablecloth. "...what?"

"I mean, I guess I don't always do it, but sometimes-ah, here is the piece de'resistance!" Yang pulled out a copy of her own head, grinning at the horrified wince of pain on it. "You would not believe how hard it was to concentrate enough to Pocket this. Really, at this point all I need is the torso and I can make a frankenyang! Although, I'm not sure how I'd get that-"

"Yang, you're standing behind of a table of your own dismembered body parts. This is... this is not mentally healthy."

"Oh, this from the black-flash cat burgler."

Blake flushed. "Okay, so I've had weird loop reactions too, and maybe I went a little too far with that, I mean I was originally just going to go with taking some silly things like cookies but then I saw Jaune and Pyrrha and they were going to kiss and it was just so close and, I guess I let my repressed urges dictate that and then you started the challenge with the clothes and it's like, there's this whole part of me that I usually keep boxed away because it's so personal and close and Adam was apparently there and I sort of feel like, like, if I let that out again I'll be making another Adam and I know that's wrong and it's not just that, it's all the touching and, all the feeling, I closed myself off because of the White Fang and then because I don't know how this works and I just, I know I did it wrong, I shouldn't have gone so far with that prank, but it was freeing and now I'm scared that if I ever go that route again I won't know when to stop because-"

She stopped, seeing Yang's face.

"...Look. The point is, gathering your own limbs isn't healthy."

"...okay."

Blake blinked. "What, that's it? Okay?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I was building up to a Yangst pun but... this got serious. So, yeah." Yang put down her head. "Too far. I get it."

"A... Yangst pun."

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's kind of an obvious one, right? Only, figuring out when to use it is awkward, because baseline to get to a point where angst is a thing for me I'd..." She noticed Blake's stare and coughed. "I like puns. They're... it's... it's nice to know that somebody who's as, well, stupid as me can manipulate the construct of language to produce humor in any situation."

"...You're not stupid."

"Blake, I charge into fights-"

"Then you're impulsive. Not stupid."

Yang chuckled. "Okay. And... you're not... uh. I can't think of a good word... the point is, you can be close without going too far."

The faunus let her eyes drift away. "I don't-"

"Blake. I get it. You're not a touchy-feely kind of person, you... You've been through a lot. You have some... trust issues. And that's okay." Yang held up her hands. "I mean, I want to help. I think that's what love is supposed to be, right? We support each other."

"I... I don't know." Blake sat on her bed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I mean... Yang... I still wear this bow, every loop."

"Yeah, I've been wondering about that. Doesn't it pinch?"

She chuckled dryly. "A little, but... I don't know. At this point, everyone knows, but I still... I just feel closed off, I guess. Even this. Even us. I... It's... I don't know if I want to open up so much."

Yang sat down next to her. Slowly, gently, she put a hand on her shoulder. "Alright. I'm okay with that. You can open up as fast or slow as you need to."

"Okay."

"Okay."

The two of them sat there in companionable silence for a few moments.

Blake let her eyes drift back to the table. "You know, those body parts are disturbingly realistic. What'd you make them out of?"

"M-uh, Paper Mache. Really good paper mache. Yep."

"...I'm going to choose to believe that, on the condition that you get rid of them all right now."

"What, even the head?"

"Yes." Blake smirked. "After all, I can't leave you ahead of the competition."

"...Eeeeeeeeeey!"

26.9 Masterweaver (Typing that name is giving me carpel tunnel)

Ruby Rose slammed open the door, flipped into the air, did an unnecessarily complicated triple-somersault pirouette, and landed face down on her bed.

Weiss, in response, rose an eyebrow. As she was wont to do.

After a moment, Rube lifted her head and positioned it where she could talk. "You know... sometimes I wish I could stomach booze. I really do."

"What happened this time?"

"Okay, so you know how I can heal from anything?"

"I still have the occasional nightmare, yes."

"Yang asked if I still needed to poop."

Weiss blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Yang asked," Ruby repeated slowly, "if my physical alteration to an abomination of medical science rendered any of my biological systems redundant. Specifically, excretion."

"...huh."

"Also she asked if I still get periods."

"Well, yeah, but that's normal to ask."

"I guess. But... who asks that sort of thing anyway?"

"Older sisters looking to embarrass their siblings and/or who might be concerned for the physical and mental health of said siblings?"

Ruby blinked. "...huh. Good point."

"I like to think so."

"Well... damn. Now I feel bad about tying her up on the flagpole."

26.10 (Obligatory joke for Masterweaver. I helped.)

"...which is why wearing jello helmets only works if you're a certain kind of robot."

"That's a very good point, Weiss. I was hoping to surprise Penny, but-" Ruby stopped at their door and blanched. "Oooooh no."

"What?" Weiss looked at the door. "Oh."

"I knew this day would come," Ruby groaned.

"'Passionate interspecies bisexual intercourse in progress,'" Weiss read aloud. "Well, good for them, I suppose. Most people would have just put a sock on the knob."

"But there's no noise!" Ruby pointed out. "I mean, are they done? Or just really quiet? Is it safe to go in? Do I just... stand out here until-?"

Weiss held up a hand. "In situations like this, where mental stability and/or embarrassment is threatened, there is a series of steps to follow. Observe."

Ruby gasped as she reached for the door. "Weiss, what are you doing?!"

"First: Turn the doorknob, but do not open the door. The clicking of tumblers is generally enough to alert the party on the other side of the door of your presence, and by keeping the door in a closed position they will have time to clean themselves up, if necessary, and possibly tell us to wait."

"That's... that's ridiculous! What if there's no doorknob?!"

"Well, usually the only doors without knobs are the front doors to public buildings, and even then it's variable. Still, that leads to the second step: Push the door open just a crack. Do not look through the crack. Similarly to before, the creaking of the hinges usually alerts the party in question to our presence, and by actually opening the door we put further social pressure on them to accommodate both our and their modesty in a timely fashion."

Ruby blushed. "Well, what if they're distracted or... panicked from embaressment or, or something?!"

"We then proceed to step three." Weiss leaned into the crack of the door without looking through. "Excuse me, but are you two decent?"

"Well, we're still looking for my top and we're going to take the sheets to the laundromat," Yang replied. "Can you give us five minutes?"

"Of course." Weiss shut the door. "Now then, you've been spared seeing your sister topless, five minutes is about enough time for us to raid the kitchens, and nobody is embarrassed. The situation is handled."

Ruby blinked, slightly flushing as she glanced at the door. "Well, I... wow. I would never have thought of that. How'd you pick that up?"

"I live in a very big mansion, where servants occasionally got... bored. I picked it up rather quickly."

Ren and Nora stared at Weiss. The man pointed at his door. "Observe."

He knocked. There was a noise of someone falling onto the ground. "BUSY!"

Ren nodded. "Now we know not to enter, and are spared the knowledge of what 'busy' means."

Nora glanced at Ren, the door, Weiss and Ruby, the door again, and opened it to look inside. Jaune was tangled in a mass of ropes, Pyrrha wearing a face mask, both very hot and very sweaty.

The copious amounts of dust in the air, brooms in their hands, Jaune's inverted and suspended nature and the presence of their clothes clearly indicated that they had been sweeping the roof. Nora ribbed Ren. "See, it's not that bad."

26.11 Me

There was a knock at the tent flap. When Adam opened it, he was confronted with a blonde, a lot of burning tents, and general chaos. "What did you do?"

The blonde punched him in the chin.

Adam sat up, glancing around. The gray, baron landscape stretched out for miles. A look up displayed the insignificant little blue marble that was Remnant. Adam realized he was on the moon. "How did I get here?"

"Remember all those jokes about Adam being on the moon?" Yang asked Blake as she pulled her girlfriend out onto the roof of Beacon.

"Yes, and?" Blake asked. Yang handed her a telescope and pointed her and it at the moon. Adam was clearly visible, glaring at the regolith around him. "Oh that's so sweet of you Yang."

"What can I say? I know what to get you for a gift."

26.12 And back to the Master

The Grimm were a monstrous, terrifying menace that had shaped all of civilization into a constant and near desperate attempt to hold them at bay even a day, just long enough to survive, with countless plans and atrocities throughout all of history being implemented solely to satisfy the singular goal.

And this loop, they were also pink.

"...Okay," Ruby said calmly. "I know we're conditioned to think of pink as a soft color, but there's really no reason to actually believe that. These are still the same Grimm as always. Heck, pink is considered a terrifying color this loop because of that. So when you all stop laughing..."

She sighed as Blake collapsed, clutching her stomach.

"Any time now..."

26.13 Just assume it's him.

"It's just, well, I'm supposed to be some kind of role model, right?" Pyrrha pointed out, adjusting her grip as she ran. "I may not like it, but there are kids all across Remnant that look up to me. But Captain Pete's Pumpkin Flakes aren't really that good for you. On the other hand, there's the economical reaction to pulling sponsorship from a cereal, and it might cut into my personal budget if the company stopped paying me for it."

"I can see the dilemma," Nora mused from her place atop Pyrrha's shoulders. "Honestly, though, I think you're overthinking this. Even if Pete's Pumpkin flakes tank, there's a lot of other 'sweet cereals' out there to fill the niche. All you have to do is ensure it's only the Captain that takes the hit."

"As for anything that affects you," Ren added, "you've got plenty of stuff in your pocket. Push comes to shove, you can ask Weiss for financial help. And really, Nora, dilemma?"

"I know big words! Jaune, tell Ren I know big words!"

"She, huff, knows big, huff, words." Jaune gasped, halting. "Dust, I hate waking up so out of shape. I'm good. We're good."

From a distance, Cardin watched the four stop and adjust themselves. "...Are Pyrrha and Jaune giving Nora and Ren piggy-back rides?"

Sky Lark shrugged. "They say it's training."

26.14 Him, as usual

Cinder grinned. "Oh, Ruuuuuby! I've got somebody I'd like you to meet!"

Ruby looked up from the worktable Crescent Rose was resting on. "Oh? Who?"

The semi-friendly villain looper produced something from her pocket with a flourish. "Tada! Meet Tina the Tiny Turret!"

"Ohmygosh, she's adorable!"

"Dispensing product."

Cinder blanched. "Tina, no-!"

Splurtsplurtsplurtsplurt.

Ruby blinked, wiping off her face. "Is... is this milk?"

"Uh... I guess. Tina, why are you firing milk?"

"The Turret Intelligence Nanoscopic Armature was designed after multiple complaints that the original Aperture Turrets were targeting either their purchasers or the infants of their purchasers. I can shoot milk at babies and bad guys!"

Ruby and Cinder stared at the beaming thing in Cinder's hand.

"...Aperture Science," Cinder managed. "Crazy place."

"I'm also fun at parties! Just fill me with cider!"

26.15 Who else?

"...Pyrrha, I just realized something."

"What is it Jaune?"

"I've never introduced you to my family."

"...Oh. Huh, that is weird."

"I mean, they're loop variable and all, but still-"

"No, I get it. It's fine."

"...would you like to, uh, meet them?"

"Sure. But let's wait until this loop is over, okay? It's awkward having such a big head."

"Yeah alright. Do you know why we're getting so many chibi loops?"

"I think it's Yggdrassil's way of apologizing for how bad our baseline's gotten."

26.16 He went kidda nuts when he caught up

"So, Blake. You like... booooooooxes?"

"Well, Yang, I did grow fond of them while I was living on the streets."

"..."

"...Oh. You were trying to be silly again, weren't you? I'm sorry-"

"No, it's fine. It's fine."

"...Those are some nice boxes though."

"Uh... really?"

"Yeah."

"...Box fort?"

"...Sure, I can teach you a few things."

26.17 Surprise! Still him though.

The Grimm were a monstrous, terrifying menace that had shaped all of civilization into a constant and near desperate attempt to hold them at bay even a day, just long enough to survive, with countless plans and atrocities throughout all of history being implemented solely to satisfy the singular goal.

And this loop, horrifically, they spoke.

"Dead," whispered the Ursa swiping at Pyrrha. "You should be dead. You will-" She growled, stabbing it with her spear.

"Failure. Failure before, failure now-" A boarbatusk fell to Juane's blade.

"Silly little girl, silly little boy, afraid of your silly little souls. What silly little troubles you face," hissed King Taijitu. "Your mother fears death. Your friends suffer. Your problems are worthless."

"SHUT UP!" shouted Yang, blasting apart a cackling Beowolf. "I AM NOT BLINDED BY RAGE! I'M NOT!"

"A cool illusion, an icy shell, and a hollow core," purred a Creep sneaking up behind Weiss. "Nothing. You are nothing."

"You bring pain where you walk," the Deathstalker murmured, even as Blake wrapped the Gambol Shroud around its pincers. "You are the leading dark cloud. Storms follow in your wake."

"Demon of blood and rage," gasped the Nevermore. "Not even human. Nothing more than the chosen tool of fate-"

Ruby slammed Crescent Rose into its eye. They were preying on the Looper's fears, building up rage and doubt, which just attracted more Grimm...

Her Scroll beeped, and after a moment she heard a voice. "Ruby, if you get this message... I'm skipping this loop. It's... it's too much."

She shut her eyes briefly. The choice was understandable.

"You can't trust her," chuckled the giant bird. "You know she's-"

Without even looking, Ruby decapitated it. Skipping the loop was sounding better and better...

26.18 MW

"So... like... okay." Ruby held her hands up to the night sky. "Aura. We have aura, because we have souls, right?"

Yang nodded. "Yeah?"

"Okay, but... there are loopers, from other worlds. They don't have aura."

"Well, they might have it if they looped in here."

"Yes, but... stay with me on this. What if. What if, for the purposes of looping, the definition of soul is... different than what we here in Remnant define it as."

"Okay. So... what?"

"I just... Skynet's looping. Heck, Skynet's an anchor. And... there are looping robots and all that."

"Where are you going with this?"

"What if... something. Something we always thought was soulless... had enough of a soul to start looping? Like, I don't know, a Grimm?"

"...Ruby, we only just got done with that talking Grimm variant, I do not want to think about a Looping Grimm."

"No no no, just hear me out on this-!"

"Sorry, I'm out." Yang stood and hopped off the roof.

Ruby sighed, laying against the roof and staring at the stars. "Well... there goes my epic spy-grimm plan."

26.19 Him again

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Weiss blinked as Ruby spun by, gripping the handle of Crescent Rose tightly. She considered asking, but seeing the look of sheer glee on her partner's face, shook her head and shut her mouth. Every looper developed their own quirks...

26.20 Weaving

Blake looked down at the piece of paper. Then she looked up at Yang.

"You... got a medical degree?"

"Yeeup!" The tall blonde grinned and put her hands on her hips. "You are now looking at a licensed surgeon!"

"Huh, that's... actually pretty impressive."

"Well, I always try to be a cut above expectations."

"Yeah. I mean, this will really help with designing any prosthetic arms you... er, you know. After. Yeah." Blake looked up at Yang's frowning face. "Er, not that I..."

Suddenly the last few seconds caught up with her.

"Oh. Oh, that was a pun. Uh, haha, that was actually pretty good!"

Yang put up her hands. "I... just. I'm sorry Blake, but... I just."

"Yeah, I... sorry about that..."

26.21 Yes, there really is a snippet where he took the piss out of himself.

Weiss checked her scroll, and groaned. Ruby glanced over from her extremely advanced weapon forge. "What's going on?"

"You know how, at the beginning of the loop, I very publicly announced a sort of... faunus-support report show?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well, part of how it works is that I said I'd let anybody submit material for it, and every thirty or forty minutes worth of video and script I'd make a new episode."

"Okay...?"

"And there's this one guy. This one guy, who's making new snips constantly!" Weiss gestured at the scroll. "I mean, he wasn't here to start, but now it's like-I could run an entire episode with his material alone! Except that would be a stupidly biased episode, because I'm like ninety percent sure this guy is secretly Adam."

"Oh. That's got to be frustrating."

"I think he's trying to push for early release, is what it is..."

26.22 Masterweaver (haven't heard that before...)

Blake had mixed feelings about fused loops. On the one hand, she was usually a human, a situation she had been conditioned to dislike. But then again, these weren't the racist humans of Remnant, oppressing the Faunus like unspoken serfs; they were generally just people, not good or bad, or anything really. There was racism, yes, but... it wasn't always there. Generally, she got along well with humans from other loops, whether or not they were looping.

Although, to be honest, it was aggravating when nobody responded to the Ping.

Currently, she was walking home from school with her in-loop best friend, an oddly nervous girl named Haru. And she was nervous-Blake, here called Miyako, had caught her glancing at her again and again, but not saying anything. Maybe she was... looper aware, able to see something different about Blake's soul or something. It didn't matter yet, but the (not-a)catgirl made a mental note to include her in the still forming schemes for world conquest she was making.

"So..." Haru cleared her throat. "Today was... hectic?"

"Yes." Blake-she mentally sighed and adjusted her self-identity-Miyako shrugged. "I don't blame you for coming in late, though."

"Yeah, I just... had a bad morning."

"It happens."

The conversation trailed off awkwardly for a few moments. Haru coughed. "So... how about Tsuge, eh?"

"Hmm?" Blake-Miyako reviewed her loop memories. Ah, her in-loop crush. "He's decent."

"Right."

At that moment, a black cat with a gold collar walked between them with a box dangling from the ribbon clutched in his mouth. B-Miyako rose an eyebrow. "Well, that's unusual."

"Yes." Haru coughed. "Think he might be a cat burgler?"

"Very unprofessional, if he is." The two of them watched the cat approach a crosswalk. "Or perhaps... just professional enough."

"Huh?"

"Would you excuse me for a moment?" Miyako turned around, walking briskly toward the cat. "I think this would end badly if I didn't interfere."

"Uh, wait, Miyako, what are you-?!"

The looper knelt down to the cat. "Excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice you lacked an escort. Might I help you across the street?"

The cat gave her a look and, after a moment, nodded.

"Very well." A few loops of being a cat herself had given Blake/Miyako insight into the proper method of carrying felines, and it took but a moment to lift the strange cat into her arms.

Haru blinked. "Okay, that... is actually... yeah."

Miyako walked across the street and put the cat down. "Will you need any more help from here, sir?"

The cat put down its box for a moment. "No. I think I can handle myself from now on." He stood up and bowed to her. "Thank you for your assistance."

"It was no problem." Blake bowed back. "May fortune follow you."

"And follow you as well, miss." With that, the cat picked up its box and walked off.

It was at this point Haru managed to catch up to Blake-Miyako, she reminded herself! "Okay, that was clever! I admit it." She paused. "So I have a weird question, but, uh... did the cat talk?"

"Yes." Bl-Miyako, Miyako stood up and brushed her skirt off. "He was quite polite, actually."

"Wish his father was as nice," Haru grumbled.

"...How would you know his father?" Miyako asked.

Haru froze for a moment. Then she sighed. "Okay. So this is going to sound crazy, but... usually, I'm the one that saves the cat. As in, about right now I've picked him up in a lacross net and pushed him out of the way of that truck-and, and I get caught up in this series of events, and then-"

"And then things reset to this morning." Blake facepalmed. "This is your first fused loop. I should have picked up on the signs."

"Fused... what?"

"Are there any others from this world time traveling? Because we have a lot to talk about."

Haru had taken Blake to a place called the cat bureau-reassuring her that it wasn't anything like the Conversion Bureau and, if anything, it was an anti-conversion bureau-where she'd met the two other local loopers: a fat white cat named Muta and a living cat statuette known as Baron Humbert Von Gikkingen. They'd exchanged pleasantries, information, and tea recipes; Haru had unintentionally made a Meowko pun, which Blake had taken with good humor before asserting her real name. After a while, Haru had realized the time and rushed home; Blake gave the cat bureau members a fond farewell before heading to her own residence.

And in the middle of the night, as she had been forewarned, a small parade of ornately dressed cats came down her street.

She obligingly stepped out and bowed to the cat chancellor who had come up to her house's gate. "Greetings, honored one. May I ask why you honor this house with your presence?"

The cat chancellor was suitably pleased and flustered, but managed to gather himself quickly. "You're Miyako, yes? The one who escorted the cat prince earlier?"

"That is one of my names," Blake confirmed. "And I did escort a talking cat earlier."

The chancellor adjusted his glasses and cleared his throat. "Please allow me to present, our wise and incredibly magnificent ruler, king of the Cat Kingdom: The Cat King!"

"...Sup."

Cat prince. Cat bureau. Cat Kingdom, cat king...

Blake was beginning to detect a theme.

"So... I'm sorry about the cattails, and the catnip, and the mice," Haru said.

"Actually, the catnip was decent," Blake replied. "I mean I can't use it at the moment, but it's high quality. I Pocketed it for later use."

"Huh? Oh. You're a... cat faun, usually."

"Faunus."

"Sorry. It's just..." Haru waved a hand. "I mean, even after you told me about what's going on, I'm still kind of... it's a lot to take in. The loops, that conversion bureau you mentioned, you not even being human..."

"Entirely understandable."

"Please do not take this the wrong way," the baron interjected, "but... are you sure you're not overusing the catnip?"

Blake gave him a flat look. "I don't abuse substances. Besides, it... helps me cope when Yang's not Awake."

"I see." The statuette sighed. "Well, I can't deny I'm still concerned, but since you are far older and more experienced than I am I suppose I'll drop the subject."

"New topic," Muta grumbled. "Did you get pestered by Natoru?"

"The floppy-eared cat? Yes."

"Oh, she's a girl this time round?"

Blake rose an eyebrow. "Does that change often?"

"Yeah, sometimes she's a guy, sometimes he's a girl. No idea what that's all about."

"Did you tell her you were okay with the gifts?" Haru pressed.

Blake smiled, sipping her tea.

"...Did you?"

"Well." She put the teacup down. "I told her that the cattails irritated my allergies, that the catnip wouldn't affect humans, and that while I didn't mind the occasional mouse having a locker packed full with live rodents caused quite a disturbance at the school."

"Oh dear..." Haru dragged a palm down her face. "You know they're going to try to marry you off to the prince, right?"

"Well, I did tell her about Yang."

"That never works! The cat kingdom is apparently fine with harems!"

"That does match what I've read on the internet."

"The interwhat?"

Blake rose a finger, about to explain, when there was a knock on the door. "I'm closest, let me get that."

"No wait don't-!"

"Miss Miyako!" greeted a floppy-eared cat. "There you are! Come, we need to get you to the cat castle for the wedding."

"Oh, of course." Blake grinned. "This is Haru, she's agreed to be my bridesmaid."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh my, even better! Come along, everyone!"

The two girls were swarmed by a large mass of cats, picked up and placed on their backs as they ran away. The Baron and Muta shared a look, rolled their eyes, and ran after them.

"I did not agree to this," Haru hissed-and eeped as her hands morphed into paws. "And I thought you didn't like being a cat!"

"I don't like cat stereotypes. I like fish, but that's not because I'm a cat faunus, it's because I like fish." Blake licked her paw and started rubbing it over her ear. "A little something you should know about Yggdrassil, it's a big fan of exposure therapy."

"What?"

"Let's say you have an issue with cats. Yggdrassil is going to throw you into increasingly catty situations. First you'll wake up in a culture that worships cats. Then you'll work at a pet store with cats. Then you'll have to cross a bridge with cats all around you, or go to sleep in a pit of cats. Then you'll wake up as a cat." Blake shrugged, adjusting her gown. "I don't like being forced into a role because of how I look, but it's not a phobia or anything. I just grumble and take it."

"I don't really have an issue with cats," Haru grumbled. "I have an issue with being transformed into a cat against my will!"

"So it's more transformation. You're going to hate the Animorphs loop."

"The Ani-Mmmph!" Haru blushed as Blake stuffed her into a dress, glowering at her. "What are you even-?!"

"I think we're pushing how long we can stay in the dressing room without our hosts suspecting something." Blake held out an arm. "You've been here before. Would you like to give me a tour?"

"I'd like to get to the tower."

"Alright. You head that way, I'll catch up."

Haru frowned as Blake stepped out. "Catch up?" She dashed to Blake, putting her voice in undertone. "I don't know if the cats will let you go! What are you even planning?"

"Observing the locals, testing diplomatic waters, and perhaps a little acquisition on the side."

"...you're going to rob the place?!"

"Well," Blake replied with a shrug, "that's one way to put it."

Haru's inner conflict was clear on her face. After a moment, she gave an exasperated groan. "I'm going to have to stick with you just to make sure you stay out of trouble, aren't I?"

"Well, yes." Blake paused. "Although, as the local Anchor your voice has more weight. If you really want we can just walk out now."

"...no, I should see how far this rabbit hole goes, I guess..."

The meal had been interesting, with a variety of foods and entertainment. Blake had noted the Cat King's increasingly demanding nature, and the way those who disappointed him were thrown out of the palace.

And then the Baron and Muta had arrived. What followed might have been called a ballroom blitz, although Blake felt it was more of a birthday-party beat-up, and then one of the serving cats that Haru apparently knew from a childhood incident showed them a secret path out.

"So I take it Muta catches up with us?" Blake asked, checking on the groaning felines who had been thrown out of the ballroom before.

"Generally speaking, yes." The Baron pointed his cane at a tower in the middle of a labyrinth. "For the moment, that is our destination."

"I suppose that walking on the walls of the maze is not an option."

"No, the king's guards are on hand to prevent cheating."

Blake looked up from the cat noble she was checking on, one eyebrow raised.

Haru shrugged. "Cat King doesn't like people breaking his rules."

"I'm only growing more motivated to rob the palace."

"Wait, you didn't steal anything while you were in there?"

"First rule of thieving: size up the target before you take anything." Blake flicked an ear toward the tower. "Shall we go, then?"

Haru and the Baron nodded, leading the way into the maze. The baron gave Blake a sideways glance. "What exactly are you planning on stealing, anyway?"

"I'll let you know when we reach the tower."

Haru tapped the walls as she ran along. "Well, that's going to be a little difficult. See, there are these-"

Without warning Blake lunged at one of the walls, spinning it around to reveal an attached and terrified cat.

"...Yeah," Haru managed. "Them."

"Hello sir," Blake said politely, unsheathing her claws and examining them. "Might I ask why you are shackled to a false wall?"

"Well, uh... the King, he, you know..." The cat gulped. "It's part of the test-"

"I see." The golden-eyed currently-a-cat nodded to herself... and slashed at the metal circlets around the other cat's wrists, freeing the cat from the false wall. "I think you should find your friends and tell them to take a break."

"You just-you just cut through solid metal! With your bare claws!"

"Yes. I did." Blake glowered at the cat. "And you, like I said, are going to go on break with all your fellow wall carriers."

The cat blinked. "Oh. OH. Oh, yes, I... I'll just... I'm going to, uh, go now." He backed away, stumbling over himself as he went.

Blake nodded, turning back to a shocked Haru and a bemused Baron. "So... when is Muta supposed to meet us?" On cue, the fat white cat slammed into the ground next to her. "Ah. Good to see you again, Muta."

"Mmmmrgmph," grumbled Muta.

"Well, let's go then." Blake stepped over him, walking toward the tower. "I still need to teach you lot how to Pocket and Ping, and I think that it would be best to do that at the cat bureau."

"Oh, this is just so wonderful!" gushed the Cat King. "Oh, Miyako, you must feel like such a loser."

Blake glanced at the prince of the cat kingdom and his fiancee. "Honestly, I think I'll be alright."

"No, you really must. How about you marry me instead?"

Haru facepawed.

Golden eyes focused on the Cat King, and Blake flashed a small set of fangs. "And what exactly would I do as your queen?"

"Well," the Cat King offered, "you'd get all the finest fish in the kingdom, you'd have cats at your beck and call, you'd live in the cat palace, and you'd be with the most awesome cat around."

"Hmm. You know, that offer would be tempting... if it weren't for the fact that I could get all of that without you."

"Haha... what?"

Blake cleared her throat. "Citizens of the Cat Kingdom, I have no intention of destroying you or your way of life. I will allow Prince Lune and his fiancee Yuki to continue to serve you. I will protect you from the dangers of the outside world. But it is clear that your king no longer has your interests at heart, and only follows his own whims. For your own safety, he must be deposed. Follow me, and I will show you a glory the likes of which have not been seen since the days of ancient Egypt. Follow me, and I will craft you wonders the world reknowned. Follow me..."

She retrieved Gambol Shroud and unsheathed it.

"...and I will reforge the Cat Kingdom into a global Cat Empire!"

There was stunned silence, as everyone present stared at the crazy girl that had just produced a gun-sword out of nowhere.

Haru coughed. "So... when you said you were going to rob the palace..."

"I meant I was going to steal it from the Cat King, yes." Blake gave Prince Lune a nod. "You don't mind, do you? You'd still have a lot of your power, you just wouldn't be the head of state. It would give you plenty of time with your beloved."

"You just declared a coup on my kingdom," the cat prince managed, "and you're asking if I mind."

"I'm not going to kill anyone, if that helps. Just put myself in power."

At that, Muta burst out laughing. "You have guts, kid! I'll admit I don't know that much about you, but I've always respected women who stood up for themselves. So I, Renaldo Moon, hereby pledge myself to your cause!"

"Muta what are you doing?!" Haru hissed.

"So that's why you looked so familiar!" the cat chancellor gasped. "You're the one that ate all the fish in the lake!"

Blake blinked, giving Muta a look. "Did you really eat all the fish in the lake?"

"Yep."

"...We are going to have words." She turned back to the Cat King. "Your majesty, I suggest you make this as easy as possible and surrender your crown willingly."

The fluffed up ball of fur growled at her. "So, you think some trumped-up former human can just waltz in here, take on my entire army, and somehow take my throne without my sayso?!"

Blake tilted her head. "...You know, you're right, that situation is rather ridiculous. It's not like any of you pose a threat."

"AHAHA. HAHA." Haru grabbed Blake's shoulder. "I think, maybe, the magic of the transformation may have messed with my friend's head a little. I'm just going to have a little chat with her, okay?"

She smiled broadly, pushing Blake over to a small nook, before whirling on her in a panic. "What are you doing?! Why do you want to conquer the Cat Kingdom?! Have you gone insane?!"

Blake examined the blade in her hands for a moment. Then she sheathed it. "Haru, in my baseline I go to a school where child soldiers are trained to fight genocidal monsters that are attracted to fear, my ex-boyfriend cuts off my girlfriend's arm, one of my good friends accidentally kills an innocent girl shortly before being murdered, and despite everyone's best efforts our city is overrun. And that's not the worst world out there. There's a place in the multiverse where people live behind massive walls, desperate to survive against mindless monstrous giants that shrug off incredible amounts of damage and eat human flesh, and not even the admins are sure who survives in baseline so they had to make a nebulous anchor system. And that's not the worst world out there. There's a galaxy where humanity is part of a xenophobic dying empire, surrounded on all sides by constantly evolving hordes of man-eating bugs, highly powerful refugees from a racist magical society, psychic fungoids that fight because fighting is fun, omnicidal cyborg zombies, unending waves of demons who warp cultists with their touch, and four separate demigods of morally ambiguous natures. And that's not the worst world out there."

She looked Haru straight in the eye. "The multiverse is full of wonders that are beyond anything you can imagine, and horrors that would leave you curled up under a blanket. You're going to spend most of your time here, which is pretty safe-heck, you could probably declare this a sanctuary loop-but there will come a time when you end up in a terrible or confusing situation just by roll of the dice. I only have until the end of the loop to prepare you for that, to train you to think on your feet in near impossible situations. Taking over the world will help-you'll get to learn, from experience, how to handle all the logistics of a civilization, how to negotiate with various factions, how to keep an eye out for dangers, and how to keep ahead of your enemies. I'll admit, I'm partially doing this because I'm bored-that's the justification for a lot of Looper shenanigans-but I also want to help you, give you as much training as I can before you end up without an older looper again."

Haru blinked. "So... you're taking over the world... in order to help me."

"Essentially, yes."

"You know, I know you said Loopers were insane. Up until this point, I didn't really believe you."

Blake bowed slightly. "I try to keep a lid on it. Of course, if you really don't want this, I can retract my declaration."

After a moment, Haru sagged. "Do you have a parachute?"

Blake, obligingly, retrieved a parachute from her subspace pocket and handed it over. "Careful, it's human-sized, not cat-sized."

"I'll change to human when I reach the portal. Me and the Baron will meet you at the bureau, if you survive." Haru huffed as she shouldered the massive backpack. "Uh... how do I use this?"

"Pull the black tags at the same time. Also, keep the middle strap buckled. Oh, and if you're taking the Baron, make sure he rides in the pocket on the side."

"Got it." Haru walked out of the nook, smiling at the other cats nervously. "For the record, me and the Baron are entirely neutral on this coup! And I couldn't talk her down. Baron, come on, let's head out."

Blake walked out of the nook, waving the two loopers off. Then she turned to Muta, unsheathing her sword. "Remember, we're not going to kill them. Just beat them till they give in."

"I'm all for that."

"Good." Finally, with a smirk, the golden-eyed feline girl pointed her sword at the Cat King. "Are you going to surrender?"

In repsonse, the cat king unsheathed a sword of his own.

"That's a no. This should be fun."

"In other news, our glorious feline empress has successfully conquered Korea. As in, all of it. As of this week, the citizens of both north and south Korea finally surrendered to our armies. Queen Blake has gone on record to state that she intends to temporarily halt the military's advancement in order to provide infrastructure to the region, but the conquest will continue next week. All hail Queen Blake."

Haru snapped off the television, slumping on the couch. "She's actually doing this. She's actually... taking over the world."

She jolted up when she heard a knock, and she rushed for the door. Her jaw dropped in shock when she saw none other than a surprisingly human Blake standing on her porch. "Wha-how are you here?! The news just said-!"

"Shadow clone," Blake explained quickly. "I can be in two places at once. Actually, a lot more than two places, but you know, subtlety." She held up a box. "May I come in? I know pizza is typically a western thing..."

"...sure." Haru stepped aside. "I mean, my mother's supposed to come back in an hour or so..."

"You are practicing with your Pocket, right?" Blake asked, carefully putting the box on the kitchen table.

"I'm... trying. I've gotten up to getting a bracelet in there." She chuckled wryly. "The Baron's gotten two of his canes."

"Huh. Muta's managed to get a tea set. Cat-sized, but that's still impressive."

"I guess."

Blake turned to Haru and sighed. "...Look. I get this is big. And... honestly, I'm not good with being... supportive or empathetic or stuff like that. I'm a very repressed, private girl. But... if you have any questions at all, you can talk to me."

Haru rubbed the back of her head. "I... guess. It's just... I mean, you're out there conquering the world. It's... I don't know-"

"I have a poptart costume."

"...what?"

"I have," Blake repeated, "a poptart costume. In my subspace pocket."

Haru blinked. "...Why?"

"Yggdrassil has a twisted sense of humor. Basically every feline-themed looper gets one."

"...Why?!"

"It's... really stupid, and I don't want to explain. You'll just have to experience it for yourself." Blake crossed her arms with a small smile. "Am I more approachable now?"

"I... well, I..." Haru covered her face with her hands. "You have a poptart costume."

"Okay, I was aiming for ridiculous-funny, not ridiculous-brain breaking. Really, you're going to have to learn to handle a little randomness." Blake coughed. "And also, keep your sanity. Big part of being an Anchor."

"Why wasn't the Baron picked for anchor then?!"

"Take that one up with your Admin, not me."

"But-but he's unflappable! He keeps his cool in any situation! He reacted to these loops with calm, and dignity, and... and he's..."

Blake rose an eyebrow at Haru's flushed face.

"...Is it wrong that I might have a crush on him?"

"...Haru, there's a loop out there where a unicorn's married a dragon, a stage magician has become the consort to a hive queen, a chaos spirit is dating a barkeep slash drunkard, a personification of self-loathing is engaged to a genetically engineered super-warrior from another loop, and an ex-villain is being pursued by a non-anthropomorphic rabbit. That's one loop. Compared to that, a teenage girl exploring a relationship with a talking statuette is not at all weird. Just move at your own pace, and it should all be fine."

"...well, now I feel kind of stupid for worrying about that."

"Yes." Blake coughed. "Of course, there might be some issues about the physical aspect, but I would seriously suggest not going down that path until you're both comfortable with each other."

Haru blushed. "N-Noted."

"...was there anything else you needed to ask?"

"Not... right now. I might think of something later."

"Fair enough." Blake pulled her scroll out. "Want to watch some movies from other worlds?"

"Sure. Um. What's that thing?"

And Queen Blake ruled the planet fairly, and the two continued to talk and watch films together, sometimes with Muta and the Baron visiting, all the way through the loop's end.

26.23 Almost missed this one. Weaver

Ruby opened the door to the shared bedroom, only to be bopped on the head with a ball of yarn. She turned to look at Yang, who very pointedly put a finger to her lips before pointing at Blake.

Who was breathing slowly, eyes closed as she rested her head against her girlfriend's chest.

Ruby grinned broadly, taking out her scroll and snapping a picture. When she looked at the image, though, her eyes widened-Yang had somehow managed to produce a sign reading 'Catnap' just as the scroll took the shot.

Yang smirked and winked at the shocked expression on her sister's face. Then, with a very serious expression, she made a shooing motion.

Ruby blinked, pocketing her scroll and smiling. She gave Yang a double thumbs up before backing out, closing the door gently behind her.

Yang rolled her eyes, absently running her fingers through Blake's hair. The cat faunus fidgeted, mumbling something about sunny beaches before curling closer with a small smile.

And all was right with the world.

26.24 Obviously Weaver

"...which is why we don't give Yang burritos anymore," Weiss explained.

Cinder nodded. "I was wondering why all those warehouses... well, 'exploded' doesn't do it justice, does it?"

"Not really." Weiss tapped her scroll, adjusting the hologram of a beowulf in front of her. "I'm sure Jaune will go easy on you once he realizes you didn't know."

"I'm... not sure he likes me that much." Cinder coughed. "Given... you know."

"Well... yes." Weiss sighed. "It's a mental exercise, sometimes, determining the relationship between awake selves and unawake selves."

The (currently-not-a) villain nodded vaguely. "I... guess. It's kind of... it's kind of like the difference between canon characters and fanfic reinterpretations."

"One way to put it."

"...Weiss, the hub writes fiction about us because the admins put back-up copies of the loops on it, right?"

Weiss nodded.

"And the people living in the hub... they write fanfiction about that fiction?"

Weiss frowned, shutting off her hologram. "Yes...?"

"And... correct me if I'm wrong," Cinder continued hesitantly, "but some of our variants manage to match up to some of that fanfiction, right?"

"Backups of backups. Where are you going with this?"

"...Do the hub people write fanfiction about the loops?" Cinder asked. "Can... we read about... ourselves?"

Weiss took a breath. "Hooboy. This is going to be a long one." She put her Scroll aside. "Technically, yes, there are 'seers' in the true hub that get flashes of insight about the loops. But the thing is, Cinder, we don't ever loop into the True Hub. When we have Hub loops, what we're actually having is near-Hub loops-it's, it's a mostly stable copy of the hub, and generally it happens when the Admins are backing up our worlds in the Hub itself. The True Hub is beyond quarantined-it's locked down, so no looper can ever enter and mess with things. Given that it's anchoring the multiverse, that's a good thing. As a side effect, though-or maybe a deliberate patch, I don't know-none of the fanfiction that deals with the infinite loops ever appears in the near-Hub loops we have. So, no, you can't actually read about yourself."

Cinder rubbed the back of her head. "Well. That's... actually quite relieving to hear." She coughed. "I mean, I don't... want to violate anyone's privacy or anything."

"Really." Weiss narrowed her eyes. "Why did you ask?"

"I... okay, you caught me. There was a stealth anchor a while back and I had a really, really awkward encounter with a..." Cinder shivered. "...with a fan."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Do... do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Five minutes later, Weiss and Ruby sat back, watching Yang devastate the opposing army.

"...You know," Weiss commented, "it really says a lot about us that we're just taking this in stride."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, your older sister is hallucinating talking vegetables, speaking Italian, and has transformed into a twenty-foot-tall rampaging fire demon." The heiress gestured at the devastation. "Because she ate a burrito. And we're just going to accept this."

"Well," Ruby hemmed, "I mean... it's kind of weird, but it makes sense, you know?"

"Vi maledicono, abomini di sedano! Non sarò fatto una presa in giro! Ecco il potere del pollo fritto!" Yang swiped at a legion of the Phyrexian Grimm, annihilating them entirely.

"Well, yes, but only because we know how it happened." Weiss sighed. "Whatever. Are you sure you haven't figured out how to snap her out of this?"

"It's not like we have much opportunity to experiment," Ruby replied. "I guess we'll just let her run around till loop end. Again."

26.27 Me

"Child abandoned, never acknowledged, always hated."

"Shut up."

"Always looked down upon. Hated. Feared. Monkey boy."

"Shut. Up."

"Thief. Liar. Fool. Butcher. Never good enough. Never human."

"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHITUPSHUTUP!" Sun screamed, straining against the chains that bound him. The taunting Beowulf yowled and lunged, biting the captive boy's head off. What remained of his body slumped.

Cinder flipped the pen in her hand over and over, noting the result. "Hmm. Psychological analysis is... Less thorough than desired. More experimentation is needed."

"I am impressed though," came the hauntingly slick voice of Salem from behind Cinder. "To reverse engineer a Grimm not only to sense emotions, but to discern thoughts, the inner fears of a man." The Grimm Maiden stepped up and caressed the jaw of the Beowulf, sampling the blood running from it's teeth. "Exquisite."

"I would imagine so," Cinder said absently. There were still experiments to run, still information to gather. "I need you to copy these mental patterns onto the Grimm with the Neurological translator. Tell them to think and act this way."

"Certainly." Salem took up the sheet of paper and read it, scanning through the contents as she dodged the crystal outcroppings of her domain. "These thoughts and feelings... They belong to Ruby Rose don't they?"

"That is correct," Cinder said, still rethinking he ways to control the Grimm.

"The Anchor, the woman displaced in time? I must say you know her quite well."

"She is my sister after all."

Salem flipped the sheet under her arm, giving Cinder an appraising look for the umpteenth time that day. "That word... why do you always use that word?"

"Sister?" Cinder shrugged. "It's easier, helps me stay in character. Besides, sometimes it's true."

"Is it?" Salem asked, curiosity piqued as she sidled up behind her minion and God-child. Cinder's exposition upon the time loops had intrigued her endlessly, and though she wasn't Looping, Cinder had had the misfortune of being forced to give her master a long winded rundown of the Loops, a Welcome to the Multiverse speech for her non-looping guardian.

Cinder for what it was worth, resisted a sigh of annoyance. "Yes, occasionally I am. Blood sister, half sister, aunt, mother who got deaged, sister and father, distant relation, older time displaced self, clone template-"

"Back up, back up, back up," Salem said. "What was that about sister and father?"

"...That is a long story," Cinder said. "The short version: you impregnated yourself with Summer (that's Ruby's

Mom) who impregnated Raven with me, then I impregnated Summer with Ruby. That make sense?"

"Excuse me." Salem turned around, walked away, slammed her forehead into a large crystal, returned with a bleeding forehead, and nodded. "That makes sense."

"Trust me, that was one of the few times Ruby broke her no-alcohol rule." Cinder chuckled at the memory. "We were so plastered you wouldn't believe it."

"I'm not sure I would."

"Well whatever. Those are rare variants, but occasionally I'm a relative of Ruby. Saying sister just meant she'd her on my side easier. Matter of convenience."

"Alright." Salem wiped the blood from her brow. "Just one thing Cinder."

"Don't get attached to them?" Cinder rolled her eyes. "Salem, you have lectured me for millennia. Nothing you say would be new to me."

Salem nodded. "So this wouldn't be the first time I've asked for you to take me into your subspace pocket?"

"I have a small army of you," Salem said. "All of them are immortal as a prerequisite, something you tend to be. They spend their time fighting one another, training every hour of every Loop. In time they will, through skill and numbers, surpass the Loopers of Remnant. You would become a part of my army."

Salem grinned at her godchild. "Then I believe soon will be the time we begin."

"Oh yes."

26.28 Weaver. Just giving you that final dose of exit horror.

Something was wrong.

Cinder Fall-Rose frowned, even as she landed the bullroar at its usual hidden base. Roman jumped off to head for Neo, and she...

She looked around, warily. Something was wrong, her instincts screamed, even as she noticed nothing. She moved past Mercury and Emerald, slipping into a private chamber.

Something was wrong.

And when she looked in the mirror, she suddenly realized what it was.

Cinder fall spun, pulling out her bow and pointing it at the tall, faceless figure against the back wall. "Get out."

The figure didn't say anything... but, as black not-hands adjusted its tie, she got the impression that it was amused at her rudeness.

Cinder narrowed her eyes and fired.

The figure simply stood. The sense of amusement grew.

Cinder grit her teeth. After a moment, she warily put away her weapon. "What are you?"

Now the figure tilted its head, clasping its not-hands together in a way that made it clear it didn't believe she didn't recognize it.

"Some kind of... humanoid Grimm?"

The figure leaned toward her, a silent but firm request for her to cease her deception.

"I don't know what you're-"

SOMETHING reached into her subspace pocket, her very soul, and she gasped as the creature produced one of her pocketed Salems-before biting the grimm woman's head off with suddenly visible, impossible jaws and slowly nibbling down the rest of her body. The figure seemed to enjoy the exotic taste, but also exuded an aura of disappointment that it wasn't as fresh as its usual meals.

Cinder managed to fight back the chill and pull out a rather large energy cannon from her pocket. "Okay, fine, I know who you are. But if you think for one moment you can possibly-"

The figure put a not-hand on the weapon, pushing it down slightly. It was clear that it wasn't at all threatened... and equally clear that the figure merely wanted to talk.

"There's nothing to talk about," Cinder growled. "Nothing you can offer me could possibly-"

The figure flicked a not-hand casually, producing what looked to be a scroll, if the scroll had been birthed by a twisted child of octopus and lobster. On the device were two numbers-the smaller one flashed red, and the larger green. With a twirl of its other not-hand, the figure produced a tiny figurine of Ruby Rose.

"...so what if you do tell her?" Cinder snorted. "I'm quote unquote 'reformed.' Even if she gets upset that I lied, Ruby would forgive me. Eventually."

The figure vanished the objects away, simply holding up the headless corpse of Salem.

"...I'd think of something," Cinder mumbled. "I can explain."

Somehow, she got the impression that the figure was laughing.

"Shut up. You think I don't have a plan for this?"

Plans. The figure tapped its not hands together. Plans, it seemed to say, were delicate things. Easily destroyed if just one detail failed to work as expected. Plans could come crashing down if, say, the wrong person heard the wrong thing. It produced tiny images of Neo and Roman.

"...you know," Cinder managed, "if you're so eager to reveal things, why aren't you already putting things in motion? Or are you and this is just gloating?"

The figure nodded, an acknowledgement of Cinder's intelligence. It vanished the image of Roman and Neo away, holding out its not-hands amicably. Obviously, an exchange of some sort was being offered.

"So... you won't tell Ruby about me, and... and what?"

Something was produced. Something horrific, something vile. The figure took the thing and held a doll that resembled Cinder herself, inserting it in past some seams. A small clock appeared behind the doll, hands spinning and circling like manic swords over eldritch numerals. Then the figure reached into the doll and pulled the sick object out... though, for some reason, it had changed.

"...You want me to carry something in my subspace pocket...?"

The figure held up a not-hand and waggled it a little.

"You want to soul-bind something to me?"

The figure nodded.

Cinder frowned. "You know, Marianne will notice if something happens with my code-"

At that, the figure towered over her, steepleing its nothands. It gestured at the shadowed corners of the room, at its own lack-of-face. It was a hacker, after all, it could cover its tracks with ease.

"...And what," Cinder demanded, "if I refuse?"

The impression of laughter echoed through the room. After all, it wasn't like Cinder actually had a choice.