Title: A Reason To Smile
A/N: This is the last chapter of Meri and Nicholas' untitled and extremely short chronicle. There is a chance that I will post oneshots that take place prior to this point, but for now, this is the end.
Dedication: I dedicate this chapter to McKenna, a classmate of mine who died suddenly this morning. We will all miss her.
)O(
"Well, speak of the archdemon." Meri smirked while Nicholas watched her. She didn't know how long he had been there and she couldn't care less.
Walter took the silent cue and went somewhere almost out of earshot. He wanted to give them the illusion of privacy, but Meri knew better.
"What are you doing?" Nicholas asked her, sounding slightly disappointed or maybe annoyed. She knew he wasn't referring to that very moment. She just watched him, and it seemed he was fighting some kind of inner battle with his thoughts and his words. Finally he sighed and said, "I should apologize." Meri did not expect this.
"Why?" she questioned.
"Earlier, when you..." For some reason he couldn't say it. Not that he needed to. "How I reacted was...rude. I just wasn't expecting...that...and I should have...I'm sorry..."
Meri couldn't believe it. The great Nicholas, master of words, was stumbling over a simple apology, and an unnecessary one at that.
"You said we'd talk about it later." she pointed out.
"Yes, and I...think there may be something to this whole soul mate idea of yours."
She tried not to look too ecstatic. "Really?"
Nicholas smiled, and for a moment she thought he might kiss her. But then he said something about how they should be getting back to the estate. There was a storm coming, he said, and they were supposed to leave for Redcliffe first thing in the morning. That's where the archdemon would be. That's where the Blight would end. Little did they know, the dragon was actually headed towards Denerim with an army in tow, and they would have to march all the way back here tomorrow morning anyway.
She left the tavern with one last glance back at Walter who winked approvingly and grinned at her.
Once, Meri gave a copper to a traveling gypsy woman who claimed she could predict her destiny by staring at the lines on her palm. Soris had said it was a scam but she ignored him and handed the woman the coin and her open palm. The gypsy told Meri she had a fairly short life line, but there were other lines that could change that: a decision that may mean her death. Both paths led to a very deep fame line. The gypsy also said Meri would find find love before the end, her soul mate.
The gypsy looked at her fate line with sadness in her eyes, but never told her why.
When Riordan explained the reason a Warden must slay the archdemon, that it meant self-sacrifice for the good of everyone, she understood.
)O(
"When were you planning on telling me that Morrigan knew of a way for one of us not to die tomorrow?"
Meri looked up in alarm. "How did you...?"
"Leliana," Nicholas said by way of an explanation. It was good enough for her.
"It's not so simple," Meri sighed. "Morrigan wanted you or Alistair to...impregnate her, so that when the time comes for the archdemon to die, its soul will seek out the child instead of the Grey Warden to kill it. I trust her, but I can't do that to a child, and we don't know what someone with the soul of an Old God will be capable of."
He was silent for a long time, letting her words sink in. "Where is she?" he asked then. "Maybe I can at least...talk to her. If it means that no one has to die..." She felt sorry for him. They'd all seen so much death, especially Nicholas. It made it that much more painful to tell him that Morrigan was gone. There was no way out.
"Alistair will be king after all this is over." Meri reasoned when Nicholas demanded to know why she was so insistent on sacrificing herself. "And you... Well, you're a Cousland, possibly the last of your family line. And who knows? Maybe Riordan will succeed and all of this worrying will just be a something to laugh about later." The elf forced a smile. "But aside from him, I have the least to lose."
Before he could say another word, Meri sped off to her room. There, she sat in silence and stared at her hands, wondering if that gypsy was still out there somewhere. She wanted very much to lose herself in a good story at that moment.
)O(
Her mother always used to say that last words for people who had given up. So it followed that the very last thing she ever said to Meri was. "Wait here." Then Adaia ran off into the streets to talk to the human guardsmen. She died without a weapon in hand, though for all her skill, Meri doubted it would have helped much. But Meri was sick of waiting.
Her companions all said their goodbyes, in the almost inevitable event that someone didn't make it out of this alive.
She asked Nicholas to look after Dane for her, then she knelt down in front of the war hound and said softly, "Now you be a good boy, you hear?" The dog whimpered in response and Meri blinked back the tears that pricked at her eyes.
"You should smile, you know." the elf told the noble. The were the best damn last words she could come up with before entering the city with its massive horde of darkspawn.
"There's not much to smile about." Nicholas stated.
"Then that should be reason enough, right?"
She didn't know what happened to a person's soul after their death. Some called it the Fade or the Beyond. But whatever the case, she had a feeling it was somewhere beautiful.
First there was the shock that somehow, despite the odds, they had made it this far. The dragon was mortally wounded, helplessly awaiting the end. And as her dagger drained the last of its life force - the creature claiming hers in turn - Meri smiled.
Then there was the most beautiful light she had ever known.
)O(
Alistair was crowned king. He was to wed Anora in the spring. Meri loved the spring. Meri was dead...
This was all his mind would allow him in the way of thought at that moment.
"My friend, I can not image how you could have aided Ferelden more." Alistair smiled, though they all grieved behind their smiles. "Is there any boon that you would ask of Ferelden's king?"
Somehow Nicholas found his voice. "If she was here with us today, Meri would refuse a reward, and so I shall ask for one on her behalf, if that's all right." The king nodded, so Nicholas continued. "I ask that the elves be treated fairly for once. Perhaps there is room in your Court for someone from the Alienage?"
"Of course," Alistair said without hesitation.
"Thank you, your Majesty."
"Well then, that takes care of her reward, but what about yourself? Surely there is something Ferelden can do for you after all you've done for us?"
Nicholas thought about it. He could have requested anything at that moment, like that Howe's family pay the price for his crimes or even a homeland for the Dalish. But there was only one thing he wanted.
"Her sacrifice, as well as that of all the Grey Wardens who gave their lives during the Blight as they always have and always will, should not be forgotten again."
Alistair could not have agreed more. The arrangements were made for a statue and a magnificent tomb just for Meri. The funny thing was that Nicholas knew she would have hated it. There were few things the elf despised more than being fussed over needlessly. It was almost enough to bring a smile to his lips.
She also would have hated this funeral. It was a bleak and quiet affair, held at that strange point in between autumn and winter where the trees are already bare but the chill hadn't quite set in yet. This time of year reminded him of death, which reminded him of everyone he knew who was dead and then of those he didn't know. The funeral only served to remind him of her death. How was this supposed to do Meri's sacrifice justice?
"A copper for your thoughts?"
Nicholas knew that voice. But no, it was impossible. Then he remembered what Meri always used to say; that impossible things were just unlikely possibilities.
Nicholas turned around, and sure enough, there was Fergus. His features were tired and etched with months of grief and worry, but he looked glad to be alive, and very happy to have his little brother back. All was not lost, after all.
Nicholas moved wordlessly towards the stone slab where Meri's body lay, and Fergus followed. "Friend of yours?" he wondered, before recognition flashed in his eyes. "Maker, th-that's the girl from the tavern, yes? She was the one who saved all our asses from the darkspawn?"
"Well, I helped, and we weren't alone either." And indeed, their companions who had faithfully agreed to risk their lives and follow a group of people accused of being traitors, murderers, and lunatics across Ferelden. They might as well have been mad; the odds were against them from the beginning. If the darkspawn didn't stop them, the very nation they were trying to save from itself would. Maybe they were all just a collection of outcasts and crazed individuals who managed to overcome their prejudices towards one another in pursuit of an equally insane goal.
And Meri had made it possible.
"You..." a famine voice that was shrill and shaking called out to him, "You're the reason she's dead! It's your fault, shem! And she thought you were different..."
He knew the woman from the Alienage: she was Meri's cousin, Shianni, and clearly she had had too much to drink.
At that moment, a man intervened. "Shianni, you're making a scene." he said gently, taking the elf's arm. "We all miss her, but this isn't what Meri would have wanted and you know it."
"But, Uncle Cyrion...he..."
"That's enough." Meri's father said firmly. "I won't hear anymore of this from you. Not here. Understood?"
Shianni nodded and turned to walk away. Cyrion looked at Nicholas apologetically, fixing him with those deep blue eyes, and for a moment it was like she was alive again.
He didn't know what he would do now. Of course, he was obligated to return to Highever with Fergus and tie up some loose ends. After that, he supposed the possibilities were limitless. The Wardens still needed a Commander. Gwaren still needed a Teyrn. Ferelden still needed a hero.
Or maybe he would just disappear for a while. Nicholas would inevitably have to accept the extremely depressing realization that, wherever he went. whatever he did, he would still be broken because he would still be without her.
Something was missing.