Chapter 24- Wake Me Up, After You Make Him Go Go
WARNING: VULGARISM FROM FINN (not Puck.)
Julianne and the girls woke up in Mr. Schuester's room what an awkward thing to say.
"Good morning my nerds." Julianne smiled.
"Good morning wifey!" Santana kissed Julianne.
"Seriously, with the kissing?" Julianne laughed. Santana nodded. "I'm gonna go ask Mr. Schuester if I can raid his kitchen and make breakfast." Julianne said, patting Santana's head.
"YES!" Santana smiled.
Julianne got up and made her way to the living room, where Mr. Schuester was sleeping. She nudged him a little, "Hey, Will, you mind if I cook breakfast?" Julianne asked.
"You COOK too!" Mr. Schuester said in surprise.
"I sing, I cook, I write, I draw, I'm learning how to dance. I do a lot." Julianne laughed.
"Do you need any help?" Will asked.
"Oh, if you can cut up fruit." Julianne answered.
"Okay." Will happily obliged.
Julianne put her spatula down, "We're finished!" she smiled at Mr. Schue, "I'm gonna go wake up the troops!" Julianne ran to the guest bedroom, where all the boys we're sleeping, first. "Wake up, nerds-BREAKFAST!" the boys shot up, and then Julianne was off to wake the girls.
All the gleeks sat sporadically around the living room.
"Orgasm of the mouth, Santana?" Tina asked.
"Oh, yeaaahhh." Santana smiled.
"This is heaven!" Matt smiled.
"If it is, Puck lives there every day." Finn said.
"I never thought I'd say this, but, Puck, PLEEEASE can we switch places for like a week?" Tina begged.
"I don't think I want to date the Changster." Puck said, putting his hands in the air.
Julianne rolled her eyes.
After breakfast, Julianne and Rachel were in Mr. Schuester's room.
"Julianne?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, Pookie?" Julianne asked.
"Why aren't you nice to Fi-"
"Did I NOT tell you what happened!" Julianne said, putting down her things.
"He said he'd never do it again." Rachel smiled.
"And he said this right after I told you?" Rachel nodded, "I'm sorry, Rachel. But, I'm having a 'why I oughtta' moment right now." Julianne made her way to the door.
"Julianne, WAIT-"
Julianne turned around and quirked an eyebrow, "This better be good, Berry."
"Be nice to him," Julianne rolled her eyes, "For me! PLEASE Julianne! Just try to be nice to him. I can't stand my best friend being mean to my boyfriend." why I oughtta "Just please, Julianne."
Julianne sighed, "I guess I can ask him to come over to my house today to practice our duet."
Rachel ran to Julianne and hugged her tightly, "Oh, thankyouthankyouTHANKYOU Jules, you WON'T regret this!"
Julianne smirked, "You sure, Berry?"
"Positive!" she squealed, still holding onto Julianne.
"Circulation, Berry. Circulation."
"Oh, right, sorry!" Rachel stepped back.
Julianne rolled her eyes, "Then you're having Noah over to practice your duet."
"Deal."
At 1:38pm, Julianne was in between Finn's arms and against a wall practicing their number.
"Okay, then I take my fan out, you walk to the door and-"
"Julianne, you've made me watch it enough times that I know all the moves by heart." Finn complained.
"Fine, show me what you've got, hot shot.-And no neck kissing!" Julianne told him.
"You. Are. Woman . . ."
"Well, at least, you think I'm special; you ordered a la carte. It's a feeling!" Julianne and Finn sat on her bed, "I feel the feeling, down to my toes. Now I feel that there's a fire here-try that once, a little higher, dear!" Finn tilted her backwards, "What a beast! To ruin such a pearl.-Would a convent take, a Jewish girl?"
"You are woman." Finn sang.
"You are man." Julianne sang back.
"Let's..." Finn and Julianne kissed.
"That was really great, Finn. I-" Finn started making out with Julianne. Julianne moaned, and then pulled back. She ran her fingers through her hair, and was about to punch him For Rachel, for Rachel, I'm doing this for Rachel but then held back. "Seriously? Even after I punched you in the face, Hudson?"
Finn smirked, "That moan, it was totally hot."
"I know." Julianne smiled. "The only kiss that's going to happen between US, Hudson, is the one in our number." Julianne stood up and walked to her door. "And the only ones I moan for are David and, God forbid again, Santana."
"You and Santana make out?" Finn smiled.
"Pervert smile." Julianne rolled her eyes. "I want cookies-do you want to help me make some?"
"Sure." Finn followed Julianne downstairs, to the kitchen.
"Grab an apron." Julianne commanded. Finn got an apron that said "world's greatest chef" and Julianne got her apron that read:
universe's greatest chef, so . . .
"These aprons look familiar." Finn noticed.
"Do you know who Kristen Wiig is?" Julianne asked, taking out ingredients.
"She's from SNL! I love her!" Finn smiled.
"She's my aunt, and these are from one of her Penelope sketches." Julianne explained.
"KRISTEN WIIG IS YOUR AUNT!" Finn said, surprised.
"And Hayley Williams is my cousin." Julianne added.
"REALLY?"
"Yes, asswipe."
Rachel and Puck made it to the Puckerman household, with a strange sight before them:
Finn sleeping sitting up on the recliner, and Julianne sleeping horizontal on the couch, with some Animal Planet show on the TV.
"Now they're friends." Rachel smiled.
Puck looked at her, "They can never be friends, Rachel."
"Why?" Rachel asked.
"She told you, didn't she?"
"Yes, it was only one time, and Finn said he'd never do it again." Rachel told him.
Puck opened his mouth, and then covered it, "I'll let her tell you."
"Tell me what?" Rachel asked.
"Go upstairs in my room and wait there." Puck commanded.
"Why?"
"So she can tell you without the Bastard here." Rachel gave him the evil eye, and then followed his commands.
Puck walked over to Finn and slapped his face. Finn opened his eyes slowly, "Oh hey Pu-"
"Out of my house, bastard." Puck said, grabbing him by the collar.
"Me and your sister were just-"
"Practicing, yeah.- it seems that you've been busy practicing with her in the choir room, and practicing with her in the girls' fucking LOCKER ROOM!" Puck said, shoving Finn outside.
"She told you." Finn smirked smartly, "Look here, Puckerman. I'm here for one thing and one thing only: and that's to get myself into your fucking sexy sister. She is so much sexier than, Rachel, and she sings higher, too. And I'm gonna make her scream like she's never screamed before!"
Puck's face was red with anger as he stepped close to Finn, "If. You. EVER. Come near here again, Hudson, I will rip off your balls and feed it to our neighbor's dog.-So, get yourself, and your dick off of my property, you Grade-A Asshole!"
Finn smiled and made his way to his car. If he would've looked back, he would've seen Puck flipping him the bird.
And if Puck would've turned around, he would've seen Rachel peeking out of his room.
Puck shook Julianne slightly, and she opened her eyes tiredly, "Noah, what's happening?" she asked, looking at his reddened face, "Noah, what's wrong?"
Puck kissed her forehead, "I need you to tell Rachel what happened with Finn."
She blinked her eyes sleepily, and then her face was as hard as stone, "When he attacked me with his mouth a few hours ago, or locker room?"
"HE KISSED YOU AGAIN!" Puck whispered angrily.
"Yes, that fucker did.-But then, I remembered I was getting along with him for Rachel's sake; so, I resisted the urge to kick him where the sun don't shine.-And I DON'T want to hurt Rachel. She is SUCH a good friend, and she's in love with the guy-allegedly."
"A guy who she still believes to be like Candide; naïve and dimwitted. So PLEASE tell her."
"I told you you'd like the book and the musical." Julianne sighed, "We're going to need Santana, which means Brittany is probably tagging along, because I'm in no mood to talk."
Rachel sat silently. Julianne did too. The only difference was that Rachel didn't have Santana kissing and sucking her neck.
"I can't believe it." Rachel said.
"Santana! Get OFF!" Julianne complained. Santana sighed in disappointment.
"You better believe it, lady!" Brittany explained.
"I mean, Finn!" Rachel said pacing, "He and I need to have a talk."
"You're finally breaking up?" Santana said, twirling a piece of Julianne's hair.
"No, I'm going to talk to him!" Rachel clarified.
Julianne plopped down on Puck's bed, and put a pillow over her face. "Dios mio." she mumbled, shaking her head as she did so.
"Rachel," Santana sighed, "Finn doesn't listen to anybody not me, not you, not Julianne, not Quinn, not Kurt.-The only one he listens to is Schuester; and I don't think Schuester needs to be bothered with all our crap
right now."
"He listens to me!" Rachel prodded.
"You sure?-When you and Schuester were dueting a while back, he was TOTALLY staring at your ass when Quinn specifically said never to look at you." Santana smirked.
"He listens to me." Brittany shrugged. "Maybe that's because we're both dumb."
Julianne put the pillow down and sat up, "Brittany, you are sooo much smarter than, Finn. You are also waaaaaay more talented-you know that's true Rachel."
Brittany crawled over to where Julianne sat, and hugged her. "Thank you, Julie."
"Anything for you, babe." Julianne smiled, and Brittany sat back down.
"I have to go." Rachel said, going down the stairs.
Once Rachel was out of earshot, Santana smirked, "Have fun wasting your time, dear Cunegonde."
"I told you you'd like the book and the musical!" Julianne smiled."
Puck saw Rachel walk hurriedly down the stairs, "Rachel?"
"I'm going to go talk to Finn." Rachel said, making her way to the door.
"Talk?" Puck asked.
"Yes, just talk." Rachel said, taking a step outside.
Puck kissed her forehead, and her breath caught in her throat. Noah. Rachel sighed, "Goodbye Sleeping Beauty." He smiled.
Rachel had no idea what he meant by that, but she smiled, "Beast." she walked to her car.
Back in Puck's room, Julianne, Brittany, and Santana were talking about Disney animated characters.
"I would be Meg." Santana said.
"From Hercules?—You know she dies for love, right?"
"She's hot." Santana smiled. "Who would Britt be?"
"The Little Mermaid." Julianne smiled.
"Julianne would be Mulan." Brittany smiled.
"True dat." Julianne laughed. "And right now, Rachel is Sleeping Beauty."
'Why?" Santana asked.
"She's so blind to love, it seems like she's sleeping.—But, she'll be Belle soon. Noah is Beast." Julianne explained.
"Why are you always right?" Santana asked.
"Quinn is that one chick from Enchant—OH! Giselle!"
a little touch of wicked . . .
theBROADWAYgeek (;3