Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Naruto or any of its affiliations…I am merely borrowing its characters and settings to indulge my own fantasies and then share said fantasies with other people who equally do not own Naruto. I am not making any profit off this.

Author's Note: Anyone out there reading this, who's dealing with shit, whatever it might be, just know I'm wishing for all my readers' health and happiness. Thanks for reading and the reviews.

O O O

it's my ride to feeling a paradise, I knew I could steal it

O O O

It was surprising that the two were one in the same.

The girl who had spilled her heart out at the baths and the girl who had caught the attention of one of the most notorious missing nin in the history of the Leaf Village.

His recommendation had come after his initial offer to Tsunade, after her refusal, and after she had beaten him into a retreat. Standing on his shaking legs, arms hanging at his sides as his subordinate supported him, an easy smile gracing his pale lips. There had been blood on his teeth. "If you're returning to the Leaf then, Tsunade-hime, there's someone there you might like..."

And now said someone was standing in her new office as of that morning, shoulders straight and face blank, waiting with her escort for dismissal. Tsunade had just finished going over the details of the girl's mission, the time line and expectations, all the good stuff. Nothing had earned much of a response from the girl, given that she was resuming an old assignment, and she had been professional and unaffected during the briefing.

Haruno Sakura seemed to be the typical, serious shinobi, even if the information in her dossier hinted at the odd tendency of running into missing nin, a strong resilience to keep bouncing back from near death injuries, and a history of insubordination and risk-taking.

Tsunade had raised an eyebrow at the recounting of Haruno's stunt in Wave and wondered if that was part of Orochimaru's assessment. Perhaps a subtle jab at Tsunade's own stubbornness and hotheaded judgements? For what other reason had he mentioned the girl? What set her aside from the other rookies when there were clan heirs and prodigies all around her?

But even Shizune had said there was more to the kunoichi than the chattering little thing they had come across in the hot springs so many months ago.

And Tsunade could see something different in her eyes as well, the slight tenseness in her jaw and the set of her posture.

Quieter, too, though she still looked the part of a prettily put together and spirited young girl. A dark red qipao, lined in white, cinched by a belt at the waist, that hemmed over black shorts; a tanto and a scroll at her lower back, black shin guards and black sandals. Shorter hair, but trimmed and styled neatly around her face, carefully applied make-up, subtly highlighted hints of femininity. Had wraps around her forearms hiding the scar tissue from view.

Every now and then the pain of the scars would make the muscles there tremble; very slight and willed down from too many nights dealing with the aches. Habitual.

"You're dismissed," Tsunade told the group of five, "except Haruno. I'd like to take a look at your arms, if you would."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"We'll meet at the west gate in two hours, Sakura-chan?"

"Yes, sir." Haruno bowed her head at her taichou, a former ANBU posing under the codename Yamato, before resuming a parade stance.

Tsunade felt a smirk pulling at her lips when it was just the two of them and the ANBU guards standing silently in the corners. "Well, come forward and let Tsun-chan take a look."

Instantly the girl's face gained a glow to it, slipping back into that youthfulness from that time. Shy and hopeful, but the softness of her expression was dulled a little with the knowledge that Orochimaru had taken an interest in her, and Tsunade had to force her cool smile to stay in place.

Haruno was blushing, stepping forward to hold her arms out over the desk. "I-I didn't think you would remember, Hokage-sama..."

"Well, after that impromptu visit to Kusa, it's been hard to forget. Shizune said you had damage from chakra burns? Concentrated on your palms and the pads of your feet." Tsunade talked as she leaned forward in her seat to undo the wraps, securely woven around the girl's right arm but done so with attention to flexibility. "Any residual pain from that?"

"None, Hokage-sama." Haruno was watching the bandages impassively as they revealed the raised, silvery white skin below. "A little discomfort from these, maybe. Itchy, mostly."

Tsunade traced the scars with her hands, sent some exploratory chakra into the tissue and drew her brow into a line as she concentrated.

"The one who – well, you probably know as much," Haruno said, catching herself and she shifted her feet. Didn't want to offend by saying the man's name, didn't want to voice their past relationship as team mates. Sakura's eyes were following Tsunade's movements. Quietly, like an admission, "that one said it was 'borrowed' material used to make these scars."

Tsunade felt the crease between her brows deepen. If it was Orochimaru, then the material could have been several things, none of which were very pleasant. "I'd almost rather not know from where he got it."

But Haruno made a thoughtful noise. "The theory was sound enough; he was right about the severity of the damage and how the healing would have gone otherwise. If anything – would not have gone, more likely."

Raising an eyebrow, Tsunade looked up from her examination to the girl.

Haruno flushed a deeper pink, a small nervous smile and her eyes went elsewhere. "Not that it was... it's just...otherwise I don't think I would have..."

"What exactly happened to your arms? The nature of the attack, that is, can you explain it to me? To have taken off the epidermis and damage the dermis to such an extent..."

"Well," the girl hummed as she tried to put the words together. "It's sort of like when you touch the surface of calm water and a ripple goes through it? Like that, but that ripple is coming from the force of straight-drop, two hundred metre waterfall. Just chakra manipulation and accelerated vibrations to disrupt cellular structures."

"Huh." Tsunade resisted the urge to sit back in her chair and run a hand over her face. "I had no idea he has that sort of technique in his reservoir. I didn't think he was –"

"Oh, no. That's not it," Haruno interrupted, cheeks still warm. "Actually, it was my own attack that he rebounded. Turns out my technique doesn't work so well on steel."

Her technique. That was a surprise. The urge to fall back in dismay evaporated and Tsunade felt her smile return, not at all forced. Leaning forward and making the girl shrink under the sudden interest, she turned the wrist in her hand back and forth, "cellular level? Ah, you don't say..."

Damn. That bastard was right after all.

O O O

Sakura had trouble reconciling that the woman from the onsen in Stone was the same person who was now the Godaime Hokage.

She sure had taken her time getting to the post, though, which fit the lackadaisical attitude of 'Tsun-chan.' But to think that that person had been one of the most powerful fighters in the shinobi nations and beyond...and Sakura had sat down with her and grouched over petty complaints.

Stopping on the steps outside the Hokage Office, eyes directed to the blue, midsummer sky, Sakura exhaled loudly. A little embarrassing, really.

Not that Tsunade-sama had seemed to hold it against her. If anything, the promise for the two to meet again at the end of her time in Iwa was good news, even if it was several months away. For now Sakura still had the exchange to focus on, and her mission alongside that.

Since she had spoken with the bandaged man last, it had been two weeks already. A fortnight with days that ran together, each filled with training and hours hidden away in what she supposed was another ANBU arena. It wasn't any area she knew about from academy or Team Kakashi exercises. A little shady and in more than the literal sense. She didn't even really understand what she was doing learning anything from such high level, typically secretive shinobi.

Of course, the interactions had been limited to the boy who used ink in his ninjutsu, who was her primary sparring partner and helped to refine her skills in general, and another woman who taught her how to use the tanto properly and helped with increasing Sakura's speed and fluidity. Hone reflexes, sharpen her movements, cleaner and more efficient. Had given her ideas for developing techniques.

Must be that they had finally deemed her ready to get back into the field of intelligence gathering, or perhaps that her mission could not have been sanctioned by anyone other than the Hokage.

They had even provided a list of shinobi and civilians of 'concern' and 'consequence.'

She would do her best.

"Sakura-chan, I'm heading over to say goodbye to Kakashi-senpai. Care to join me?" Yamato-taichou was walking down the steps behind her. His kind smile was tighter than normal. "It seems strange to take off when he's like this, don't you think?"

Halting her automatic pass on the suggestion, Sakura tilted her head. "How's that?"

"No one's told you, huh." Yamato looked a little sheepish, rubbed a hand at the nape of his neck. "There might have been a little disturbance in the village. Well, aside from the invasion..."

The walk to the hospital was one she had planned to make, to see Lee, but along the way she had taichou tell her what he could about the situation. Wasn't much, and it seemed he genuinely didn't know any more, which alleviated her immediate feeling of being left out and a little hurt that she hadn't been informed of the situation. Being that she was no longer in their cell, there was no need for her to know, but damn it, she felt like she deserved as much...

Or maybe she didn't. She didn't know if she were mad or scared. She had trouble believing that Kakashi had been taken out so quickly in a fight; his stamina was less than stellar, but taichou had referred to him as a genius.

But to think Sasuke had been in the hospital as well without Naruto or anyone telling her. Of course, she had told Kakashi it was no longer any of her concern, but that had mostly been coming from a place of pain – she hadn't really meant it. She had meant just the opposite.

So far from the truth.

"Thank you, taichou," Sakura said as she walked alongside the older man, pushing their pace to a speedy walk. "Obviously, it's not critical that I know about this and Kakashi-sensei wouldn't want me to know as much about his injuries, probably –"

"Ah, it's this room," taichou pointed. Then stopped her with an arm in front of her. He had picked up on the reason behind her rambling, "Sakura, he's the type who wouldn't want anyone to know that he's in this condition. But he's also the type who needs support from others, even if he would never admit as much or even recognise as much in himself."

She had meant to move around taichou's arm to continue to where she felt Sasuke's chakra signature, but winced a little at his words. "Oh, no, it's not like that. Maybe it is, but not –"

...She honestly didn't know how to explain the situation between Kakashi and her. A simple, 'he doesn't trust me,' perhaps?

In her head it was much more complex.

"Oh." Sakura dropped her shoulders from their tense line and looked from Yamato to the closed door. Sighed. The chakra signature inside, one that had been undulating in the pattern she had come to associate with sleep, had spiked and then disappeared. "Looks like it doesn't matter after all."

Empty.

Yamato noticed the absence a beat later, mimicking her movement and letting out a very watered down swear word. "Aw. I really wanted to say goodbye to that guy. To think he would slink away even now."

Sakura had a guess as to why he had, but then reminded herself she probably didn't rank so highly on the man's scale of awareness.

"He's probably going to go read porn on the Shodaime's tragus again."

The two of them were turned away by a medic at Sasuke's door, as he was in a delicate state at the moment, and Sakura waited until they were several floors down before she thought about asking taichou about Sasuke's involvement with the missing nin. Before the exams, before her time in Wave, she had never fully realised the importance of Sasuke's clan, or of the fact he was the only surviving member. Before she had met Orochimaru, she had never understood the value of blood quite so much.

She had never appreciated their differences in potential, in value, in life as shinobi.

"Was he targeted because he's an Uchiha?" She asked, tempted to add 'again.'

Taichou wavered, "no and yes. I can't really say anything else about it."

In the end her trip to the hospital amounted to very little. Lee was unavailable, and none of the nurses on duty in his wing were comfortable talking to Sakura about his condition. Something must have happened, but she had no way of knowing what. She only hoped it was good news.

After meaning to see three people and seeing no one, she felt lonely on her walk back to her parent's house. Her home. Naruto's company would have been nice, at least he could fill the quiet around her. But it wasn't her loneliness that took her to the memorial stone with the buried, unacknowledged, misplaced hope of running into someone there, certainly not. What would she even say to him? Apologise or remind him that she was leaving again just to spite him. Complex, so complex.

Sakura stood in front of the stone, traced over names carved into its surface, many were old, many were new. Her fingers were well into the third column when she felt someone join her in the small clearing. The chakra signature was familiar, but erratic, weak.

He wasn't the one she had come to speak with at the memorial, but she was still happy to see Sasuke. At least, until she turned and saw him. Sakura felt her smile falter. "Sasuke-kun..."

Wearing an outfit like the one he had on the day of the tournament, and missing his kunai pouch and shuriken holster, he leaned against a tree near where he had landed his shunshin. His skin was too pale and there was a sheen of sweat to it; eyes that were a little too distant in their gaze.

Sakura held her tongue on admonishing her classmate, former team mate – well, her crush, wasn't he? – but it really looked like he shouldn't be out of the hospital. Definitely not using ninjutsu. Instead she said something that was equally trite, "are you okay?"

Sasuke pushed himself from the tree and steadied his legs. "You're leaving?"

That almost sounded like interest in his voice. The smile made a valiant effort to stay, fighting with residual mixed feelings about the assignment. Some part of her didn't want to go. "I wanted to tell you myself, I got the orders this morning –"

"Fight me."

And her lips twitched and she let her mouth hang open.

Something like bubbles in her chest and a flare of excitement running her spine. Doused quickly by the fact that Sasuke looked feverish and like he was about to fall over. Sakura hesitated, rubbed at her wrist. "You shouldn't make jokes like that. It's okay if you just say goodbye."

That same wrist was above her head in another second, blocking Sasuke's heel as he dropped a kick down from above her. Sick and weakened as he was, he was fast and stronger than she remembered. There was weight behind his kick, heavy with emotion.

Sakura threw him off, hopped back to avoid another kick he swiped at her middle. His spin was perfectly balanced and quick, completely masking the fatigue he exhibited before. She swore under her breath, caught herself and thought it the first time she had ever been so vulgar in the presence of this particular boy. On a huff, "stop it, Sasuke-kun, I'm not sparring with you."

"I'm not looking for a spar," and Sasuke proved as much when he started a set of hand seals. "I said fight me."

It was his posture more than the hand seals that gave away his intention, and Sakura fell backwards into a twist low over the ground as the plume of fire erupted above her. It followed her to the ground and she used a shunshin, intending to step behind Sasuke.

'Strike for the neck, cut off his breathing.'

Or collapse his windpipe, Sakura countered herself indignantly. No, she wanted to talk him down. Landing the step, hand out to touch his shoulder, but he was turned to face her already, eyes wide and scarlet as he slapped her hand away and struck up an open-palm to her nose with his other hand.

'Enough force and he could push the cartilage back into the skull.'

Sakura wrapped the hand she had reached out around his block, secured a grip at his wrist, put a foot forward behind his leg, hip forward, spun so that they were back to back before his punch could break the air between them. His sharingan kept up with her movement, and when their backs touched, before she could snap his arm into a submissive hold, Sasuke was already pushing off his feet to flip over her head and negating the twist she had on his arm.

She slammed her foot into the ground and simultaneously tapped his sternum as he landed to shove away while he was off-balance. "I'm not fighting you!"

If they were going to fight, he was going to have to come to her in proper shape.

Distance again and Sasuke was folding over himself, panting and dripping sweat. His face was contorted and the red in his gaze was gone.

He cursed, spat at the ground. "...So damned pointless."

That was his goodbye, and with a cover of leaves, he was gone.

O O O

Sakura was not in a good mood when she arrived home, an hour yet until departure time. A swale splitting a valley in her chest as she thought about her team. But she didn't have time for reflection or pain or sadness.

There was an envelope on her bed, picked up from the post that afternoon.

Sakura didn't know what to make of it and so she nudged it with a finger experimentally. It was plain, but thick, weighty. No return address and stamped from within Konohagakure. Inconspicuous; which in itself made it completely suspect.

"I don't have time for this," she told the envelope, preceded to sit down next to it, folding her legs under her. The ink scrawled across the its front was heavy, sloppy, and it missed a little of the poetic beauty that was her name, making her pout a little. The envelope was closed by a length of twine wound round two buttons.

Simple enough until she tugged it free and there was a pom of smoke and then a crow was tilting its head up at her from her lap.

A caw and Sakura stopped an 'eep' against her lips.

It was ninjutsu, but it was unnerving. Red eyes. Red eyes almost like –

The crow turned in a feathery shuffle to peck at the envelope. Sakura watched, a bit dully and in disbelief, for a moment before she caught on, and she turned out its contents.

One piece of parchment, and a stack of coloured paper, elaborately designed and very official looking. Bank bonds. A lot of bonds that she quickly stacked and pushed out of sight, craning around to suspiciously glare at her room and out the window.

The bird contemplated her actions with a cocked head and she made a face back at it.

"You don't know what I've just been through these past two weeks, all right?"

Bank bonds were not exactly what she had expected (which had been something to do with her mission, reports or biographies, last minute notations, maybe).

The parchment paper offered some answers.

Girl, it started. That one wanted me to pass these along. Didn't say what it was from, but that it was yours. Ain't you lucky? Also, that guy sure is a pain in the ass, my sincerest sympathies that you had to deal with that shit.

And then there was a space and the writing style changed. Clean lines, thin, thoughtfully crafted characters. Haruno Sakura: Please forgive my summons, she had instructions to be certain this letter reached only you. I will say that that one is alive and relatively well –

Heavy and cramped characters again. HE IS A PAIN IN THE ASS.

A line circumventing the interruption to the following – as well as can be expected from a boy with his disposition and tendencies. I also would recommend not holding onto this letter.

Signed Shu.

Under that, ending the letter, was a crude drawing, again in the thick, heavy strokes, showing lines of waves and a shark fin.

Sakura ignored the signature and reread the letter, her hands shaking. 'That one is alive and well.' That one, alive, well. Alive, well. Alive. Alive.

About to read it over again in its short entirety, but she was interrupted by the bird. Sakura watched the summons hop, fluttering it wings, but it hopped almost happily to her windowsill and tapped the glass with its beak and gave her a look. Job fulfilled, duty done, off to report back. Getting its intention, she unlatched the window and pushed on the panes. The crow dropped to the outside ledge, cawed again, and took off.

She could only trace its flight for so long before it was lost behind buildings. Back to the parchment in her hands, heavy and crinkled. Something hiccuped in her throat, made her eyes feel dry and her cheeks hot.

But Sakura told herself again she didn't have time for that sort of feeling.

O O O

The trip took four days this time as Sakura could take to the trees along with the older nin. It was strange for her to be returning to Iwagakure with the same escort from her initial trip, strange to meet the same guards outside the city, to once again witness the reunion of 'target' and 'would be assassin.' Strange again to say goodbye to Yamato-taichou, harder now that she had gotten to know the man a little and had even learned ninjutsu from him. No hugs, though, she was fine with a brief bow and an astute nod as he left.

A few things were different; for one, she had a team this time round, consisting of the two guards, Yuuji and Meiko, and their final member, bruised and bandaged from head to toe, but smiling above the collar of her new jounin uniform, Otsuka Tomiko.

O O O

Author's Note: First and foremost, take care of yourselves.

Also. Sorry about this update. It's all over the place and it took me so long to write it because I think my head is all over the place right now? Not the greatest, I know. Sorry this chapter is so short, next chapter is longer and will be out sooner.