Alex sat and watched the slow drip of the IV administering a mixture of medicines while memories of the past four years floated through his mind. There was little to do but wait and hope the work Deb and Dr. Chu were doing would pay off and Cheryl would be back to normal by morning.
The first couple of checks from either doctor were less than encouraging. Deb sighed at her ten o'clock readings.
"This medication usually shows a response within the hour, at least a hint anyway. Maybe the blockers Chu has her on are slowing things up. Let's give it a little longer before we up the dose." Deb looked at Alex. "I know I'm not going to have any luck asking you to get some rest. Did you at least eat tonight?"
"I'm not hungry."
She laid a concerned hand on his arm. "I know how worried you are. But you need to be strong for her. Skipping meals and rest won't help that." He looked up with a mixture of fear and acknowledgement that she was probably right. "The cafeteria is down one floor, and although it isn't gourmet, they keep some basic stuff available late at night for the staff and families."
He nodded and left just long enough to grab a tuna sandwich, chips and Coke. When he returned Alex found two extra pillows and blanket left in his chair. He ate without noticing the taste of his food and made himself as comfortable as possible.
Wei returned at midnight for his last call before going home. Alex watched curiously from his position as the doctor frowned at the last set of numbers and marched out to the nurses station. Minutes later the portable device was being set up and the port they had been drawing blood from was lined out for dialysis.
She's going to hate that one when she wakes up, Alex figured. But I can handle Cheryl mad if that's the only option. Once the machine started humming Chu gave the nurses additional instruction and took his leave, having done all that really could be done for the time being.
Alex managed to catnap between rounds from doctors and time spent worrying. When Deborah returned at one and upped the dosage for the blood pressure meds again, his suspicions were confirmed. The monitor on the opposite side of the bed was small and couldn't be read from his chair, but after sitting in the room listening to her heart beat for nearly four hours it was clear that no change had slowed her pulse. In fact, if he had to guess it had increased.
"You know, I understand that you're tough. But this stubbornness has to stop." Alex tiredly stroked her cheek. "Do me a favor and let these meds do their job, huh?"
Either they were very quiet or Alex was too sound asleep to hear anyone visiting again until four. He woke with a start realizing Dr. Smith was in the room, but felt a sense of relief that nothing drastic had happened to wake him earlier.
"You are not helping me, Cheryl," Deb grumbled. She noticed him awake. "Nothing. And we've maxed out the dose."
"So, we try new ones?" Alex croaked hopefully.
His luck couldn't be that good. "There aren't any. Not that are safe for her, anyway." She started to circle around the bed when one of the monitors started to beep an alert. She rushed back to stare at it, then turned to her patient and laid a hand on Cheryl's belly. "Dammit," she swore, and the alert stopped.
"What was that?"
"Fetal distress monitor. It could be that the baby just moved, causing a miss in the signal."
"Or?" His panic was setting back in.
Deborah pressed the call button and waited with a worried look until the nurse arrived.
"Yes Doctor?"
"Let's get her on some O2. I don't want these going off again." The nurse nodded and left to get the necessary equipment. Alex could see what seemed like extra concern over the oxygen, and still didn't have an answer to his question.
"Tell me."
Keeping a wary eye on the bed, Smith sat in the extra visitor chair. "Our treatments aren't working, and if that wasn't just a glitch one or both of the twins could be suffering some distress. At this point there's nothing certain... but the longer we wait, the worse things could get."
Alex saw there was more. "And?"
"And," she sighed, "I think once we take her off the dialysis her blood pressure will jump again. The machine is holding some blood out of her system, and normally causes a drop during treatment. She's held steady since Chu hooked her up, so I can only guess it will rise if Cheryl isn't on it."
He stood and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "So we just wait until something else happens? You've already told me the damage that can be done. I don't want to sit here and watch her heart fail."
Deborah Smith had been through this with other patients, more than she liked. "Alex, preeclampsia is a pregnancy related condition. The only way to cure it is to end the pregnancy."
He froze in place hearing the words. "Oh god, Deb..."
"Your babies are thirty three weeks along. They have very good chances."
Alex's mind whirled at the possibility of losing one or both if delivered so early. Leaning into the bed he caressed Cheryl's delicate features, looking for guidance.
"We can alert the NICU and get an OR ready by six."
Alex held his hand over the twins. "It's my job to take care of them."
"And I believe the best way is to do the c-section. I haven't seen anything that shows me hope of any progress otherwise."
Tiffany burst through the doors at quarter after six looking driven and yet exhausted at the same time. A quick word at the floor station pointed her toward a deserted waiting area where she found Alex slumped on the floor with his back against the wall. A television showed some morning news program in silence having been muted long ago.
"Alex honey, where is she? Where's Cheryl Ann?"
His knuckles were white from squeezing his own hands. Alex pointed down the hall to the double doors closed over Deb and her team. "Down there, in the OR."
"What? Well, what kind of operation? I mean... oh no... but they're so little!" Her voice expressed what his mind had told him for the past two hours, but he had no choice. He related everything that had happened over the past half day in as short a fashion as possible, finishing only seconds before Deb emerged behind a small shielded cart waving him close. The cart immediately went into the nearby elevator and waited, doors open.
"Everybody's doing ok right now Alex. Go on up with them while we finish here. It'll be a while before we're done with Cheryl."
"But—"
"She's holding her own. I'll come to the NICU once she's in recovery."
Tiffany caught only a glimpse of one baby as the cart had wheeled through. "Can I go up?"
"You can, but I doubt they'll let anyone but Alex in for a while."
She nodded. "Then I'll stay here and wait for Cheryl."
As soon as he stepped in the elevator one of the nurses had a plastic bracelet halfway around his wrist and a second in line.
An hour later Deb followed through on her word and stood next to Alex in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She quickly assured him Cheryl safely out of surgery. He shuffled nervously, unsure of where to stand so that he could observe but still not be in the way.
"Don't be afraid to get in there," she coaxed. "They need you close."
"He was having trouble breathing. They put that little tube on him."
"CPAP. It's not uncommon. He seems to be pinking up. Her too. That's good."
"C what?"
"Continuous positive airway pressure. It pushes air in, to keep the lungs inflated and full of oxygen until the baby is strong enough to do it himself."
Alex managed to get a hand in around the nurses cleaning, checking and otherwise watching over his son to gently rub the baby's dark head. "It's not supposed to be like this. They're supposed to be big, and cry and all be together with Cheryl."
Deb smiled wistfully. "Ideally, yeah. But they're really not so small for thirty three, and not all babies cry. All we need is for them to keep improving and a mom to add in."
After being shuttled to the side, he switched and got a hand in to softly stroke his daughter's back as she lay curled in the warmer. She weighed in slightly less than her brother but did not seem to be in need of help breathing, at least for the moment.
"How's she doing?"
"In recovery. She lost a good deal of blood during surgery, but we infused with the reserve from the dialysis." Rather than push all her blood back in before the caesarian, Deb had ordered it collected. the move had kept Cheryl's pressure down and allowed for self-donation as needed. "Her sister is sitting with her."
Alex nodded. "Ok sweet girl. I'm gonna go see your Momma. Stay out of trouble, ok?" He placed a fingertip kiss on her cheek and followed Deb down a floor.
Tiffany sat rubbing Cheryl's hand as she lay in the quiet room set aside for recovery. Alex swallowed a lump in his throat at the sight of her, pale and hooked up to fewer monitors than before, but somehow more helpless. Even the normal flush of her lips was subdued. What had been the large, rounded perfection of a home for the children was now considerably flatter, although the swollen flesh still demonstrated the recentness of her condition.
"Oh, babe. What are you going to think of me when you wake up?"
Tiffany looked at him with a strangely calm understanding. "She'll think you did what was best for her, and those two beautiful babies."
He couldn't help but smile at her assumption. Tiff hadn't seen either, and at that moment he made what could be debated as a strange decision. Keeping it to himself, he turned back to Deborah.
"When should we hope she'll wake up?"
The doctor hedged. "Normally I'd expect to see some sign within an hour of coming off the anesthesia."
"But?" Two voices chimed in chorus.
"But, she had a rather severe case. Firstly, we need to make sure she's stable and take more samples for some followup tests. Chu needs to see if the proteins are falling now, and just how much toxin is left in her system. We also need to check her liver function, have a cardiologist in, and maybe even do some neurological tests to check for any lasting damage. The magnesium appears to have prevented any seizures, but I prefer to be overcautious."
Tiff raised an eyebrow. "So what you're saying is, you don't know."
Deb tried to hide a shrug. "You may have a better idea than me, knowing her history. How does Cheryl typically react to this kind of stress?"
Alex had no choice but to wait for Tiffany's answer. He'd fortunately never had to deal with a serious health issue while they'd been together.
"Like most everything else for my baby sister... all in her own time."
Alex bounced back and forth between floors in a way that proved nearly dizzying for Tiff to watch. He made three trips by nine o'clock and finally settled into a chair next to Cheryl with his phone in hand, mentally composing a message to friends and family.
"You're not really going to send a text, are you?"
He sighed. "I don't really know what I'm doing, Tiff. But I don't want to spend the day calling everyone on the planet."
"Call your Mom. Grandmas are great at spreading news. Speaking of which, I should call home." Tiffany stretched her long legs and fished a phone from her purse. She stood up, dialing and slowly walked into the hall as it rang. "This isn't going to be fun."
Scooting closer to the bed, Alex repeated her actions. He hit the speed dial to Annapolis and waited. Shannon answered quickly in an obviously chipper mood at knowing her oldest son was on the other end.
"Alex, sweetheart it's funny you would call now. I was just checking about reservations for September."
"Oh, um.. well I don't think you should get too excited about visiting then."
"What? Honey, I wouldn't miss this for anything! What's going on?"
Alex straightened the blanket covering Cheryl in the chilly room. "Mom, I'm at the hospital now."
"Oh my God. Is Cheryl ok? And the babies?"
"She's... I don't know. Not good. Deb did a c-section this morning."
"I can be there tonight. I'll find a flight. Your father's out on a boat, though. I don't know if I can reach him." Her urgency came through loud and clear.
"No, no. Just hold on. Tiffany's here and between Cher and the twins I don't know where to go."
"That's why you can use a little extra support Alex. You don't have to do this all by yourself. Besides, I have to see my Grandbabies. I'll work something out and be there in a day or so. That will give me a chance to find your father."
After they exchanged a few more words Alex hung up and looked back to Cheryl, and then Tiffany.
"Your Dad is out on a boat?"
"He's an instructor with the Navy. Probably out on training exercise, which means Mom will have to go through command to get ahold of him before she leaves."
Alex's phone rang in his hand as he stared at Cheryl sleeping. That's what he liked to consider it... a good rest. Nothing more. "Damn," he said quietly, looking at the display. It was Iris, more than likely worried about her missing friend, overdue at work.
"Hey."
She knew him well enough that the tone of his voice, combined with her inability to get Cheryl on her cell or either at home meant trouble. Iris managed to listen patiently while Alex related relevant details. When he'd finished she promised to convey everything to Jeff and visit during her lunch break. Although Alex could tell she was shaken by the news, Iris was also strong enough to keep it together.
By lunch it was evident that Cheryl's recovery would not be the smooth and easy road that they all hoped for. As Tiffany had guessed, she showed no sign of waking from the anesthetic. There was no reason now, aside from her own mind and internal recovery clock, that prevented the new mother from rejoining the waking world. Tiff and Alex swapped quiet stories in between long silences and sprints upstairs to check in on the NICU. It was one of those trips he returned from to find Iris in his chair, lending her ear to Tiffany's comments.
"She's always been like this. When we were little, and they brought her out of surgery, you know... to remove her damaged kidney...she just lay there so quiet. All I could do was look in through the window. They wouldn't let me in. It was so strange to see her like that."
Iris nodded. "It's kindof eerie. I'm so used to feeling like she's going twice as fast as me. I could only keep up for the last couple of months."
Alex slumped in the doorway listening to his friend. "Well when she wakes up, she'll be running you ragged again in no time."
Jumping up, she greeted him with a hug. "You sound pretty certain."
"I think her tank's empty, but Cher wouldn't break her promise."
Both women stared at him curiously at the last comment. He stepped around Tiff's chair to rub Cheryl's arm and whisper something into her ear before looking back at his audience.
"When Deb gave her the go-ahead last fall, within a day or so she was full steam ahead. Me, on the other hand... I wanted to be sure I was ready." He described the long week thinking and seeking Elaine's advice, then the snowboarding expedition. "The last thing I told her was that she had to promise to be here."
Iris smirked and nodded. "Then she will be. Just a little recharge, right?" Her positive energy helped buoy the exhausted. "Is there anything I can do?"
Alex was about to say 'no' when he remembered the dog at home. "Really?" he asked.
"Name it."
"If I find Cher's keys, would you go over to the house and let Terra out? I haven't been home since seven last night. She loves you, so you won't have any trouble."
"Of course. Should I bring you anything? I have a feeling you aren't going to leave here anytime soon."
"I'm not going anywhere until she's awake. I have to be here."
Tiff sighed. "Honey, I'm here too... I can—"
"You know what will happen when she figures out those babies aren't with her anymore." His tone was a little sharper than Alex had intended, but she understood.
"She'll panic."
He let out a long unsteady breath. "It's enough worrying it will happen when I'm upstairs. I have to be here."
A steady rhythm established itself as Alex tread up and down, up and down while Tiff made runs to and from the cafeteria for coffee, even bringing back a tray for them both around dinnertime. She was fully aware that his ability to prioritize was maxed out and considered it her responsibility to take care of him.
The staff had moved Cheryl back to a regular room albeit with the same amount of monitoring equipment just after lunch. Alex picked at the food Tiffany had brought him over a period of two hours before settling into his chair beside her for the night. He'd overseen the application of CPAP for his daughter just before six with a caveat from the nurses that the doctor was being cautious. One had even remarked her surprise at the order but followed through knowing it would help the infant. Nurse Monroe had suggested that the normal weight loss after birth might result in a slight backslide of strength, thus the preventative measure in keeping her respiration good. Alex couldn't decide if that made him feel better or worse.
Alex could only guess how much sleep Tiffany had gotten since his call and glanced across the bed at her curled up in one of the visitor chairs. Scooting up close to the bed, he took Cheryl's hand and let his head rest on the mattress.
"What can I bribe you with to get better so we can sleep in our bed again?" he asked softly. "I'll bring your favorite fries if I just get to see your eyes." He let his own drift shut. "I can't do this without you." Alex fell asleep at the edge of the bed, still holding her hand in hopes she would stir.
Tiffany shook Alex's shoulder.
"Come on honey, the nurses need us out of the way."
She was groggy herself but managed to shuffle out of the room and down the hall, flopping tiredly in waiting room chair. Alex stretched and paced himself awake.
"I'm going up," he said simply.
"And I'm going down. I think some clean clothes will do me good." She'd arrived and come straight to the hospital with a hastily packed bag still stowed in the rental car.
"What's this?"
Tiff straightened her blouse, fresh from changing. "Your friend was here while you were in the NICU. She left that for you after making sure I promised to apologize for her."
Alex opened the bag and found a fresh change of clothes, toothbrush and his deodorant. Iris had, in all good intentions, scoured the house for supplies while attending to Terra before work. She'd sprinted off to the office without waiting for him. He shoved it under his chair and sat back with more of a smile than Tiffany had seen since arriving.
"What's that about?" she wondered aloud, giving him the same suspicious squint Cheryl usually did.
The smile widened. "You know that little crease she gets, right there...when she's none too happy about something?" Alex pointed generally at the space between his own eyebrows.
"Yeah?"
"The nurses were doing some of their regular tests and whatnot... making our little guy pretty unhappy since he'd been sleeping. He got the same look."
Tiff managed a little cackle at that herself. "You know she hates that we notice those looks. She'll just loooove seeing it look back at her every day."
"Yeah. She will."
"Somehow I couldn't envision you using a pink toothbrush," Iris giggled, explaining just how she knew which one was his.
"Thanks for making the extra trip. The phone takes pictures, but not like this can." Alex hefted the digital SLR she'd retrieved at lunch, He'd guilted her into the run over via text, crying foul about her digging through his things in the morning. Turned out she'd done little digging at all, pulling all the clean clothes from a basket on the washer that he'd never carried up. Aside from that a quick trip to the master bath and she found his blue toothbrush and deodorant on the counter. "She's missing enough as it is. Least I can do is try to catch a little."
"She seems to have a little better color today."
It was only mildly encouraging, but she was right. The nurses had made regular visits for massages and caring for Cheryl's dressings. She did look less pale than she had most of the day before. Alex was mentally worn out and wanted most of all that she would show some real strides soon.
"When's your mom coming in?"
Alex sighed. Shannon had finally gotten through, wrangling every favor she had to get a message onto the sub James was on. There was no way he could get leave but she had given him all the latest updates before settling up a flight early in the morning. "Tomorrow. Around eleven unless she gets delayed."
Iris smiled. "Good. You could use some Grandma action around here."
A long-missed voice chimed in from the door. "I'm not the Grandma, but I have some experience."
Alex turned quickly toward the sound with a strange relief. Elaine stood with her typically subdued smile. Her skin was more tanned than he'd seen before, and her hair seemed whiter but the warmth in the older woman's deep brown eyes hadn't changed. He stepped close and enjoyed a warm hug from their friend.
"Your mother called. Thought I'd like to know what had happened. How's she coming?"
He couldn't believe he'd forgotten, but under the circumstances his focus was justly elsewhere. "We were just thinking she looks stronger today."
Elaine went to stand by the bed with a quiet greeting to Tiffany. "How long has it been?"
"About thirty hours."
"Hm." She turned back to Cheryl. "I would have thought you'd fight a bit harder," she chastised gently. "Especially after Natalie."
Iris and Tiffany stared at both Elaine and Alex, suddenly aware that they had missed out on a story. Alex deferred to Elaine to relate the version that had grown since the day Cheryl had appeared at the local eatery with the intent of putting Mrs. Miller in her place.
"My baby sister did that?"
Alex nodded. "I'm just glad there was over a thousand miles between them last December."
Iris nodded emphatically. "I've never seen her that... pissed. No way I would ever want to be on the wrong end of that."
Tiffany rolled her eyes remembering the briefing she'd gotten over that, also knowing just how far Olivia had pushed Cheryl... far enough for the younger to take a gun in her own fear, anger and defense. The results had been nearly disastrous. She didn't know if Iris was aware of that series of events, and now was not the time to delve into another story. One of the nurses came in, having noticed the gathering and insisted in a reduction of visitors.
"Well I need to get back to the office. Keep me posted?" Alex nodded. "Mel wants to come tomorrow. Ok?"
"I think she'll like that."
Tiffany stood and stretched. "And I think I could use a walk, and call Sean. You two stay."
Elaine watched as Alex let his gaze fall back on Cheryl's quietly resting form. Waves of light auburn hair lay freshly brushed around her face thanks to Tiff. The light blue hospital blanket was wrapped up around her body, tucked under each arm laying bare with leads and IV lines feeding information out and valuable fluids and nutrients in.
"So. How are you doing?"
He swallowed hard, controlling the golf ball that started to form in his throat. "I feel like she's slipping away from me Elaine. And I can't do anything about it. Between her and the kids I don't know where to be half the time, and I sure as hell don't know what to do."
"Putting up the brave face for everyone, huh?"
Alex felt grateful for the loving arm she placed around him. "Or maybe just having a panic moment. I know she's stronger than people think, but..."
She squeezed his hand. "This is new for you... not being able to 'fix' something. Personally, I think she just needs a little time."
"It's been almost two days."
"Then she should be about ready, right?" Elaine's smile was as reassuring as her presence. "How are the babies?"
Tiffany took a long break, enjoying some of the scenery and cooler weather than Port Charles would be offering on the last day of July. Alex and Elaine stood watch for nearly an hour and a half before he excused himself to visit the NICU. When Tiff returned half an hour later Elaine was there alone.
"He's upstairs?" she asked, finding him missing.
"Feeding time. I was going to go up, but he didn't want her to be alone."
Tiff flashed a quick smile. "That's not the only reason."
Elaine had a feeling about the rest and they exchanged a few comments, enjoying an easy conversation. They'd only met at the wedding but Cheryl and Alex had expressed such respect and love for their friends that Tiffany had no trouble accepting the woman.
"I'm glad you came. I think Alex appreciates having the added family."
"You know, if Jack hadn't passed, I wonder if we'd be in Silverthorne now. I've a feeling they might have stayed. When I left I think they felt free to follow their hearts instead of hanging around to be with us."
"I thought they were crazy, but after seeing them here. It fits. I do miss having her close. We just really pieced ourselves back together when Alex moved to work for you." Tiff thought back, envisioning her sister crying and nearly sick thinking he would be gone forever, then making the choice to go as well.
Later in the evening, after Elaine had gone to settle into her hotel room and non-family visitors were prohibited, Alex sat next to Cheryl in the dim light of her room. Tiffany had drifted off, having found a semi-comfortable position. The ward was very quiet with the exception of his soft voice.
"You're gonna be so proud of them. They've both got all the nurses charmed." He smiled, leaning closer. "I have to admit though... I could use some help. Running back and forth has me beat, hun." Alex rubbed her arm lightly and rearranged the blanket, changing the topic.
"New gown tonight? I like the little polka-dots. Much better than the plain blue." Alex took a breath to speak again but noticed a tiny twitch of her hand. "Tiff seems to like the pink better. Maybe tomorrow, huh?" he asked cautiously. She rewarded him with a deeper breath than he'd heard in days.
"Cher? You with me?" Energy flowed back into Alex's body, hoping she would answer. Another longer breath and the slightest noise from her throat. "Yeah, you're there aren't you," he coaxed, perching next to her to caress a cheek. "That's it."
Cheryl's hand raised blindly, feeling for him as her eyes fluttered. He grabbed the hand and kissed her fingers. "I'm here. See?"
Her eyes turned to slits and he got a glimpse of precious grey before she moved reflexively, bringing a wash of pain from her lower abdomen and the work Deb had done. She groaned and took in a deep breath, waking Tiffany, who shifted and watched without a word as Alex took the lead.
"Slow, take it slow." Cheryl's free hand worked out of habit and found its way to her belly, expecting in her mind that it was round and full. The change registered in a second and she was awake.
"Alex..." the fear in her voice was clear.
"I know."
"Alex, what... what did you do?" She clutched his arm in a near panic, as he'd known she would.
"What had to be done," he answered with as much authority as he could muster.
Tears welled as her head started to shake. "No. No. Alex..."
"Cher—"
"No. How could you?"
He was losing control and fast. Placing both hands on her face Alex held her. "Listen to me," he urged, waiting for her to meet his eyes. "They're upstairs."
She stared, registering the words. Uncertainty took over but she was steadied by him. "Upst... they're ok? But it's so early..."
Tiff leaned close, watching the transformation with nervousness.
"I know. But your babies are so beautiful Cher. Deb did such a great job taking care of our family." He pulled her close and held her as she cried in relief. A nurse stood nearby, alerted to her change by monitors at the station. A quick check verified none of the lines had been dislodged during the wakening and she went to message Drs. Smith and Chu.
"I have to see them."
Alex sighed. "I know. But I can't do that. You have to pass Deb, Dr. Chu and Dr. Vask— .. what was her name Tiff?"
"Vasilakis."
Cheryl wiped tears and tried to gather herself, still intent on getting upstairs as quickly as possible. "Who?"
"Cardiologist, darlin," Tiff drawled. "Your heart worked so hard, they've been checking non-stop to see if there was any damage."
"So, where are they? I'm ok," she pushed. Alex's exhaustion was kicking in now that he could relax about when she'd regain consciousness. Thankfully Tiffany was more rested.
"It's nine thirty at night, so don't expect to see them til morning. And don't tell me you're ok. You've been out for two days."
Their confused patient looked to Alex, who nodded. "You went down on me in the ER Wednesday night. Deb had you in surgery by six yesterday morning."
Cheryl's mouth fell slightly as did her eyes. "My babies are two days old, and I haven't seen them?" Alex saw her hands shake and heard the tremble in her voice. He gathered her up and held her again.
"Oh, they know all about you. I've been talking their little ears off about their Momma, and how much she loves them. Don't you worry." She curled up in his arms unhappily thinking of their premature babies being tended by strangers. "Hey. I know something that might help."
"You're going up to smuggle two babies down here?" she volunteered with muffled hope into his chest.
Alex managed to laugh. "No, sweetie. That would be just as bad for them as you rushing out of bed." He extricated himself from her and gathered some things from the bag Iris had dropped off. "Give me a few minutes."
Tiff took a spot on the opposite side of the bed and occupied Cheryl while Alex fiddled with his camera and unwrapped the extra box he'd picked up a week earlier, figuring that it wouldn't be needed for some while but glad it was available. Stealing a few glances at the sisters while he worked, he returned to Cheryl's side as promised and handed her a brand new iPad.
"Now, there are two slideshows. One is just us, and the other has photos from the last couple of days." She turned a sharp look at the last words. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to see before you could actually, you know, see." Alex glanced quickly at his watch. "Speaking of which, I should go. Just tap the screen like you would a mouse... you'll get the hang of it. I'll be back in a bit." He took a gentle kiss from her lips and disappeared.
"He's done that so many times I lost count," Tiff remarked.
One of the nurses popped in about that time and checked on her again, with Tiff's help getting Cheryl in a more seated position.
"Are you feeling hungry?"
Cheryl shrugged, staring at the device in her hands and the two icons on the screen.
"Since you've been living off fluids for a while, I'll take that as yes and get you some snacks. There's nothing on your chart about not having solid food. How about some milk or juice?"
A slight nod was all she got as Cheryl selected the file Alex had pointed out first and opened it. Tiffany looked over her shoulder as the first slide opened, black with simple text at the bottom:
Alex loves Cheryl.
Photos started to slowly fade in, starting with one in a navy gown.
"I didn't know he had that," Cheryl said quietly narrating. "That was the night we met."
The next was a shot of the snowy park, although empty she recognized it easily. Then one of her birthday at the cemetery, snuck while she was stealing his boots away. The happy mischief on her face was evident. More shots flowed past, of times in Colorado not only of Cheryl but of Alex and them together. He'd found her backup files on the hard drive at home, which included several pictures she'd also secreted away. One was him, sweaty and shirtless at the old cabin.
"Ooh. Nice one," Tiff smirked.
Wedding and honeymoon pictures were there as well, along with some of the then new arrival pup. The excursion he'd had in New York while she worked was included, along with a carefully cropped shot of her asleep in the hotel bed after their morning 'exercise'.
"That was his birthday."
More pictures came, of holidays with family and the trip to Chicago, then what she figured was his parting picture of the Tree House as they left for Oregon. A wash of pink overtook the display, making Cheryl cringe at the sight of the old bathroom they'd suffered through for months, followed by their perfectly complete bedroom. She was amazed at the number of pictures Alex had collected, many of which were new to her. A second black slide appeared with its simple message:
A new chapter.
There was a predictable progression starting with a snap of their positive home pregnancy test and moving through the growth photos they had scheduled throughout. Mixed in were pictures of Terra investigating the nursery under construction, toys and clothes purchased for the twins and several that must have been taken while Cheryl napped.
"What is that?" Tiff wondered as Cheryl hesitated over a photo.
"I think it's a hand."
"Oh my goodness, it is. Look at the little fingers," Tiff studied with amazement, tracing out the impression of a tiny hand pressing out from Cheryl's stomach. How Alex had caught the moment was unknown, but the effect was powerful.
"Tell me about them," Cheryl said, brushing away fresh tears.
Tiff watched her little sister lovingly. "Honey I wish I could."
"Of course you can..."
"Really, I can't. Your husband came down yesterday from seeing them settled into the NICU to check on you and flat out forbid anyone to see them until you. It's just been Alex and the staff."
She scowled a little. "And he's gone missing."
"Feeding time, I think. And last visit before they close up for the night. Even parents are out during the wee hours. He hasn't budged from either your side or theirs."
Cheryl chewed her lip in consideration and read the security bracelets repeatedly, at a loss of what to do with herself. Each plastic band had a barcode, doctor's name that she didn't recognize, some unidentified codes and 'THOMSON, BABY A - FEMALE' or 'B - MALE'.
Alex set off a quick celebratory text to everyone, short and sweet.
New Mom finally awake. Hoping she will be declared well enough to meet babies tomorrow.
He let out a breath of relief and spent a while cuddling each of his children, watching formula drip into their feeding tubes. It seemed like a very short time before the nurses were ready to close down for the night, ushering him gently through the doors and back downstairs.
He trudged slowly into Cheryl's room where she sat idly flipping through applications on the iPad, letting Tiffany snooze peacefully next to her.
"Hey," he whispered. "What do you think?"
"I can't bring myself to look at pictures of them."
He'd expected her reaction. After so long and such a sudden end, she'd need to actually touch them to feel reassured.
"You had to wait until everyone had gone home," he teased gently from the edge of the bed. Alex leaned close and touched her sad face, glad to see her awake even if she was less than happy about the circumstances. "Did you eat?"
"I'm working on it."
She grasped his fingers, longing for contact. "Can I tell you something?"
He squeezed back and smiled. "Of course." She motioned him nearer and whispered in his ear.
"You smell."
He had to laugh. Of course he smelled, and worse. In fact Alex looked like hell. Regardless of the fresh clothes Iris had brought he still wore the same jeans and shirt from Wednesday. A few quick splashes of water had done little to help and he hadn't shaved in days. Even Tiffany had taken a break to settle into the guest room and shower before rushing back to the hospital.
"I guess I probably don't look so great either," she admitted.
"You're beautiful."
She hugged him regardless of the scruff of his beard against her neck.
"So when can I go?"
Deb blew a breath out. "I'm the last person you have to get past. Dr. Vasilakis is first, then Wei Chu. Then me."
Tiffany exchanged looks with Elaine and Iris and then Alex, fresh from a shower gratefully taken in the room's expansive stall. He rubbed the smooth skin where three days worth of beard had been cleanly shaved and listened to Cheryl try to cajole her way out of bed.
"I'm fine. See? Completely awake. I even ate something that resembled breakfast."
Deborah shook her head. "Sorry."
"Deb—"
"That's enough. You are not in charge." Alex's voice was stern enough to get her attention.
Cheryl huffed. "I just want—"
"I am." He eyed her carefully until she seemed to accept being stuck in bed, at least for the next half hour, when impatience would rise again. "Now, Dr. Vasilakis is outside waiting for the room to clear out so she can do her checkup."
Everyone bustled out except the patient and Alex. Ten minutes later Cheryl was one step closer to getting to the NICU. Unfortunately it took two more hours for Chu to show up. Tiffany disappeared to catch up with Sean and Shannon arrived and had just minutes to say hello before being shooed out again.
Cheryl chewed her lip waiting for the doctor's prognosis. "Well?"
He painstakingly reviewed the chart before making a pronouncement.
"Nearly back to normal."
She sighed in disappointment.
"But I think good enough to get up and around. Probably make you feel better."
Cheryl clasped her hands together. "You have no idea. One more."
"Alright, lemme see if I can round her up. I need to get upstairs soon."
Dr. Smith appeared before he could get halfway to the doors. "My turn?"
"Poke away," Cheryl volunteered.
Deb gave a sharp laugh. "You say that now. Just wait til I'm done with you." She turned to Alex. "You may as well go. We're going to be a while."
"You sure?" he half asked her, half Cheryl.
Deb nodded. "Your friends have already volunteered to help, although the nurses will do the hard stuff. We're going to get her up, which will hurt like hell. And she'll have a shower, which probably won't feel much better. Then I'm betting after the nurse is done, our patient will need a rest while I decide if everything is progressing ok."
Alex cringed and kissed her before leaving at a trot for the eleven o'clock feeding.
Tiffany huddled with Deb as Alex returned, anxious to see how things had gone.
"Believe me, she's a master at it."
"At what?"
Tiff looked to him. "Closing up."
"That bad? I was hoping we could squeak through before it got that far," he hedged.
Deb had seen it too. "I think she's a little lost with everything that happened. It is a bit jarring for moms who experience this type of birth. She never had a chance to prepare."
"And now she feels left out. Like she missed it all," Tiffany added.
"She did miss it all." Alex bit unhappily. "Tell me she can see them now."
Shannon and Elaine stood aside just enough to keep track of what was being said before adding their thoughts.
Deb held up her hands to stop the flow of chatter quickly growing among the quartet. "I'd say yes right now, but I'm betting she's fallen asleep since we left her. When's the next scheduled visit with the twins?"
"Couple hours," Alex answered quickly.
"Cheryl Ann, you have to eat."
A disinterested glare came in response and Tiffany slumped in her chair in frustration. Aside from her sister, all visitors had made themselves scarce. Alex stepped inside the room after a quick conference with the medical staff.
"She's right. Eat your lunch, please."
"I'm not hungry," she moped.
He made a show of checking out the items on her tray. "Doesn't look so bad."
Cheryl pushed the tray toward him.
"Well, the pudding does look good. I guess if you don't want to get out of here, I'll take it."
She perked up and a glimmer of eagerness crept past the gloomy expression she'd worn since being set back in bed after the shower. Even through the pain of first moving, the warm water felt good. Cheryl had been sure Dr. Smith would give the all clear, but instead had left without much discussion. She'd drifted off waiting and woken to find Tiffany with a tray of hospital food.
"I can go? Really?"
"Not if you don't eat." Alex disappeared again for a split second and pushed a wheelchair in. "Gotta have your strength to get up and in this little buggy."
"Now?"
He pointed to the tray as an answer and the bowl of soup was instantly in her hands.
"Bribes. Why does it always come down to that?" Tiff dripped happy sarcasm.
"The beans too."
Cheryl protested mildly. "They're cold."
He showed no sign of budging so she finished the roll and ate the green beans. She looked at the pudding grudgingly until he let her off the hook.
"You can save that for later I guess," he said, rubbing circulation through both legs. "Tiff? You want to let me have her for a few minutes?"
The tall blonde patted him on the shoulder as she walked out and he helped Cheryl swing her legs over the edge of the bed. She managed to stand with a groan and steadied herself against his solid frame, prompting a tender embrace.
"Ready?"
Cheryl bobbed her head emphatically and took the three steps to the wheelchair.
Cheryl waited with as much patience as she could muster after sitting in bed for a day, not counting the two she had slept through. Alex had disappeared around a partition and left her with Tiff for monitoring. "Where did he go, China?"
"Patience, Cheryl Ann."
"Patience hell, I want to see my babies," she pouted.
Alex's slow reappearance stopped her protest as he approached with a small bundle carefully cradled against his chest.
"Here we go. Weighing in at four pounds, two ounces today..." he knelt in front of the chair, "your son, my lady." He gently passed the baby to her and watched the tears surface as she held her son for the first time.
"He's really ours?" Tracing the tiny black hairs on his scalp, Cheryl marveled at every inch.
"Mhm. See, matching bracelets and everything."
"What's this?"
Alex checked the small button taped to the tiny chest. "Wireless monitor. Our kids are high tech already."
She sniffled, inspecting the baby's hands and pushing the swaddling back enough to place a palm on his bare back. Her touch elicited a small grunt and he squinted at her briefly before curling up with a grip on Cheryl's finger. "Alex, he's beautiful."
Alex watched in amazement at the obvious recognition the infant had for her. She sat peacefully with him for several minutes, speaking softly so he could hear her voice, now without the buffer of flesh and amniotic fluid between them.
"My God, he's adorable," Tiffany cooed proudly.
"Mr. Thomson?" a nurse behind him spoke quietly. He looked back and she waved a little, enticing him over. Once again he vanished, leaving the twosome to continue bonding.
Clasping and unclasping his fingers, their son gripped Cheryl's gown with one hand and kept the other in contact with her fingers. She nuzzled soft kisses on his head and rested her eyes only on him, absorbing the feel of the tiny body against her and the deep satisfying breaths he took in. Tiffany managed to sneak in a few soft caresses of her own, admiring her new nephew.
"Uh oh," Tiff said happily. "Look."
Alex walked softly back to them carrying their second bundle. "My little bag of sugar," he announced.
"What?"
He grinned and explained. "She was born precisely four pounds. Just like a bag of sugar."
The nurse passed behind and corrected him. "She's at three and fourteen today."
"That's my girl," he said proudly.
"But, that's less. How can you be so happy?"
"It's more than yesterday, that's why."
Cheryl's brows knitted and she arched up trying to see. "Gimme," she finally demanded.
"Greedy," he teased, bending to nestle her into Cheryl's body. She sat contentedly with both arms wrapped around her children, the three of them together for the first time in days. Alex knelt next to them, hovering over his family.
"I can't believe how strong they look," she wondered softly and watched their daughter stretch out an arm and splayed fingers toward her twin.
The nurse passed back through to check on them. "What happened to the tubes?" Alex asked.
"Doctor wants to test without them for a while, so we have extra O-two in the isolette just to help them along. Those are two determined little ones. Personally, I don't think they'll be needing the CPAP again." The hefty black woman stepped away for a second and moved a chair over for Alex. "Maybe you and Mrs. T can figure out what to name these children now that everyone is together."
Tiffany stood after the nurse left to attend to other babies. "I think it's time I left you all for a little family time."
"Oh no, you don't have to," Cheryl assured her.
"I've been dying for a cup of coffee. The cafeteria isn't too bad. I might have to get one of those chocolate chip muffins to go with it." Tiff swept away after a pair of fingertip kisses had been applied to her new niece and nephew.
Alex scooted closer. "Come on, sharesies."
Cheryl reluctantly allowed him to take his son back with a 'hey little man' and they sat side by side cuddling and murmuring to each.
"I suppose the nurse is right. They need names. You've watched them longer than me, what do you think?"
"Well, she's oldest, so she should be first." It was a technicality, since they were only about two minutes apart, but there had to be a starting point. Alex reached over and gently rubbed his daughter's cheek.
Looking down, she asked the infant directly. "I don't suppose you want to tell Momma what your name should be, beautiful girl?"
"I think short of her momma, she is the prettiest in the whole place. But then, I'm jaded," Alex bragged. Cheryl smiled at the joy he obviously felt.
He saw a glint form in her eye and grew suspicious. "What?"
She looked down again. "I think Daddy just found your name sweetheart."
"Huh?"
"Jade."
Alex mulled it over. "Jade Thomson. I like it."
Cheryl watched him process. "Jade what?"
"Hmm." He thought for a few minutes, watching the two women in his life. "Nicole?"
"That's one down," she smiled and placed a kiss on Jade's fuzz covered head. "What about him?"
"I think... you need to decide. You started out referring to 'him' before we even knew what we had. My bet is that you've been harboring a name in there for quite a while."
Cheryl flashed a slightly guilty look. "Ok, so I have. Bonus is, looking at him, it seems to work. What about Tyler?"
Alex quizzed the child in his arms. "What do you think son? Does Mommy know what she's talking about?"
"Hey, now."
His smile was catching and they giggled together despite a wince from Cheryl at the pain it caused. "Tyler then. Tyler Damon Thomson."
"Really?"
"Yep. He needs something... manly."
The nurse checked in again and noted a change in the air. "Why do I get the feeling you're ready to fill out those birth certificates now?"
Tiffany returned from her break and overheard the comment. "We have names?"
"Yes," they answered in tandem.
"Well I'm glad. The line of people out here waitin' to meet them is ridiculous. It's only right they get introduced properly."
Cheryl's brow crinkled as usual. "What do you mean, 'line of people'?"
"Honey, I've got Grandmas, Grandpas, friends, neighbors..."
Her face fell unexpectedly at the mention of grandparents. "Have you talked to Momma and Daddy?"
"Well of course. Where do you think I was this morning? Somebody had to go and pick them up from the airport."
"What?"
Tiff reveled in having gotten the drop on her sister. "You don't really think they would miss meeting their first grandchildren do you? Momma was upset they couldn't come right away, but they had to get someone to take care of things at the farm on short notice."
Nurse Monroe poked a wary eye at them after overhearing the discussion. "Just how many people are you talking about?'
Tiff looked up and ticked off people on her manicured nails. "Let's see... Momma and Daddy... your Mom, her boss, Iris and her friend... the neighbors... um. Including me that's... nine?
"Honey, we can't let eight more people in here. There's no room, and we can't have that kind of disturbance around the children."
Four people looked at one another trying to figure the best way to let everyone meet the much-anticipated babies.
"Can we take them out to the waiting area?"
Monroe seemed unsure but assented to a brief excursion. "Five minutes tops. Those monitors don't have a very long range, and the babies need to be back into the warmers soon."
Alex rose carefully and handed Ty over to Cheryl. "I'll go tell everyone and get them ready."
After the carefully restrained introduction was over Nurse Monroe wheeled Cheryl and the twins back to the NICU while Alex talked with the group and showed off pictures on the iPad Iris retrieved from the room.
"Ok, one visitor can go in now, but everyone else will have to wait," the nurse announced.
Alex took a breath to speak to Shannon before trotting off quickly. He returned a half-minute later. "Ok everybody. Since we can only have one, we're going to have to stick to Grandparents today." With a nod to his mom he continued. "Since this is the first for Cheryl's side we're going to go with Crumholz."
Mr. C was all smiles. "Go ahead Mother."
"Actually," Alex interrupted, "Cher's asked for you, sir."
"It's Ed, son. Are you sure?"
Tiffany circled an arm around her mother. "It's always been them versus us, hasn't it Momma?" she grinned. "Go on Grampa, but we expect a good story over dinner."
The house was eerily quiet even with Cheryl's return. She'd managed to get Alex to sleep in their bed Saturday and Sunday night without her, hoping he'd get some real rest instead of being cramped up in a chair next to the hospital bed. After three chaotic days with not only the twins but a myriad of guests the new parents were finally alone together.
"I love our families and friends, but..."
"Nice to get rid of them?"
"Yeah," she agreed. Her folks had to get back to the farm after the short visit while Shannon and Elaine both figured their presence was starting to become more of a burden than help. Tiffany had stayed through seeing her discharged at midday and headed home herself after securing a promise from Alex that he'd send all the photos when he got a chance.
Alex disappeared to change for bed and came back to an empty room. He found her leaning against the nursery door looking at the empty beds.
"Hey. Just because we can't bring them home doesn't mean they aren't going to be ok."
"I know," she answered with a controlled sniffle. "It's just..."
"I know. Come on. May as well get some sleep." He lead her gently to bed and stood ready to assist as she settled in.
As they lay in bed each struggled with the situation. Alex felt just a bit better, finally having one piece of his puzzle back in place but still very worried over the two tiny lives steadily gaining ground a few miles away. He was not entirely surprised, but amazed at how strongly he felt for them even after such a short time. There was an undeniable tenseness he felt thinking about their progress, yet when Jade or Tyler was in his arms, the world shrank and there was nothing but their need for him.
He now faced the conflict of being home and happy with Cheryl finally out of the hospital, yet leaving the twins behind. For five days they had all been in the same place and he could easily see to all three.
Cheryl was torn on it as well, dreading each second away from the preemies, even with the knowledge that they needed rest as much or more than being held and cuddled as she instinctively wanted. Being at the hospital was at once a relief and frustrating. Each second seemed to fly by when she could see and hold each baby, and then wait as time dragged by, letting them sleep. At least the next day offered something to do in those periods, as she would start working at the task of replacing formula with expressed milk for their tube feeding. Until they were ready to eat normally, it was the best that could be done.
"Come on, you can do this," Cheryl coaxed Jade as gently as she could manage through the frustration she felt. Tyler was successfully off his tube after four days of trying, but her little girl was just not picking it up. She was now two days behind him and showed no inclination of making the step.
Alex held a bottle while Ty sucked steadily. "Relax Cher. It'll come."
"She has to eat, Alex."
He heard the tremor in her voice. "Yes, she does," he agreed quietly. "Maybe she's just a bit stubborn, like someone else I know."
"So it's my fault?"
He sighed. "No, she's just not the same as her brother." Alex touched her hand softly and walked away hoping to avoid a meltdown. From the corner of his eye he saw Cheryl take a slow calming breath and let it out. A few paces more and her voice carried just enough to know she was talking to Jade, but he had no idea what was said. Alex had a little father-son chat as well while he finished a circle around the NICU, coming back up behind the chair where she sat rocking ever so slightly.
Cheryl looked up at the sound of his steps with a smile. "Look."
Alex peeked around the cover she held just enough to see his daughter contentedly having lunch. No tubes, no bottles. "What happened?"
"Not sure. I was just trying to relax, so I hummed a little. I could feel tension drop off her. She opened her little mouth and just went to work."
Kneeling, he watched with joy. Half the battle was won. "What did you say to her?"
"Um... oh, I just said she couldn't go home and see her room if she didn't eat."
Alex laughed out loud, remembering Tiffany's comment a week earlier. He stood enough to hug her tightly with one arm. "Bribes. Just like her Momma."
They both breathed massive sighs of relief knowing Jade had finally turned the corner on eating.
"So, when can we take them home?" Cheryl pressed. The twins were at thirty five weeks and had shown remarkable improvement.
"We're still getting inconsistent Apgars Mrs. Thomson. I honestly can't give you a date." The neonatologist was trained in being patient with new parents, especially those who required extra care. "The best I can say is, it could be in two days or two weeks. Although they haven't needed the CPAP, we've continued with oxygen supplementing and still get random scores on their respiration. That's what concerns me most."
She sighed at the thought of them away from home for another two weeks. Alex was out getting the Subaru fitted and inspected with carseats with equal hope of ending the daily trudge through the hospital. He'd also been trying to squeeze in work, knowing that unfinished projects were falling behind each day. When they left the hospital each evening he was torn between spending time with Cheryl and trying to keep up with pending jobs.
Alex found his way upstairs near eleven after spending nearly two hours holed up in the office, trudging up bleary-eyed and barely able to take each step without tripping himself. He'd gotten in the habit of checking the nursery first, many times finding her there hovering over the cribs or stuffed animals waiting to be used.
Cheryl lay curled on the loveseat, arms wrapped around both toys he had bought so long ago. She cried openly and he rested on the arm near her head, brushing back waves of hair now longer than she'd normally left it.
"Hey. We're one good day from getting them out of the NICU."
She gathered up fear and anger, letting it loose at him as the best target available, undoing the positive spin he tried to place on their situation. Out of energy and any desire to fight, he simply stood and walked away.
Several minutes later, feeling regretful about her outburst Cheryl came to bed with all intent of apologizing. The words stuck in her throat when she saw him half-undressed and passed out on his side of the bed. His mind and body had given up just after dropping his pants over the chair, leaving navy undershorts and a white tee as his makeshift sleepwear. Unable to move him, Cheryl grabbed a throw and snuggled up with him on top of the covers, silently vowing to remember how everything was affecting him as well as herself.