I've said it so many times, but I stand by it...don't worry guys. I've got your backs.
You all seem to be terrified, although I am loving the amount of reviews/love/feedback I'm getting.
But yes, never fear, for you are in safe hands.
"Hey, Jess?" she frowned. It was a cold Monday, a stark contrast from the sun yesterday, and she was currently struggling through an incredibly boring morning
"Hiya. Is that Quinn?"
"Yeah, you're not busy are you?" she bit her lip as she hoisted herself up to sit on the counter behind her
"Not really, I'm walking to an audition. Something wrong?" she could hear the bustling of background noise as Jess wander the New York streets
"Not really, I just wondered if you wanted to get a drink, tonight or tomorrow maybe? Soon?" Quinn asked, and Jess raised an eyebrow at the unease in her voice
"Yeah that's fine. I'm assuming you mean alone, seeing as you went to the trouble of getting my number instead of using Santana and Brittany?" the girl asked with a smile
"Yeah, you got me" she laughed, embarrassed and Jess nodded
"Yep, sounds good to me. The bar, tonight? Say six-ish?"
"Perfect. Thankyou."
"It's fine, us newbies have to stick together" she laughed, and they hung up.
-ooOoo-
"Hey chick!" Jess grinned as she hung her coat on the back of the chair opposite, and Quinn smiled "You alright?"
"I'm not too bad" she shrugged as Jess ordered a drink and sat down
"Stop the lies. Start talking, kid" she smiled kindly and Quinn sighed.
"It's Santana."
"I guessed" Jess nodded confidently
"It's just that...I don't know. I just don't know what's going on" she slapped her palms down on the table with a sigh, staring accusingly at Jess, who recoiled slightly
"Okay..." she frowned
"Sorry. Okay, it's just like, one minute we'll be fine. Like after laser-tag, everything was awesome, and we were flirting and laughing and kissing and it was cool. Then we got home and we were on the couch, and suddenly she just went all weird"
"What kind of weird?"
"Like, she saw this picture of us two on the table and like, freaked out talking about how we look like a couple even though we're not" she shrugged with a clueless frown, and Jess curled her lip in confusion
"You're not?"
"Apparently! But she called me her girlfriend before, so why are we suddenly not a couple? I just do not understand what is going on in her head! When we were fighting about the key to her apartment she called me her girlfriend, but since then she's said we're not a couple?"
"Ah. Okay. That's...weird" Jess frowned and Quinn nodded
"So one minute we're a couple, next we're not? And then at the bar! Giving some random girl her number, I mean, I know we apparently weren't exclusive, but I didn't realise that meant trying to get it on with someone else in front of me?" she sighed and rested her chin on her hand, fingers tapping on her cheek thoughtfully, and Jess frowned sympathetically
"Well...are you thinking of calling the whole thing off or something?" she leaned in, her voice lowered
"I don't know" she shook her head helplessly. Jess reached out, rubbing soothing circles on the blonde's arm, who bit her lip as she stared at the tabletop "She likes me. And I like her. And I know that."
"Hell, we all know that." Jess laughed and Quinn shrugged
"Exactly! So I don't get why we keep arguing. Well, actually I start the arguments, but I don't get why she keeps being a douche!" she held her hands out questioningly, but Jess simply shook her head "I don't want to have to walk away. Because we have so much fun. Like on the days when we just watch stupid films and eat Heroes and cook for each other, or when she comes to see me at the bakery after work just because she can. And it's awesome."
"But then she freaks out..."
"Yeah. And she never tells me why. She apologises and does sweet things and I forgive her, but she never gives me a reason for what she's done. I don't get it. And last night was the worst!" She folded her arms and dropped her head down onto her forearms and Jess frowned
"Why, what happened?"
"We went to the movies. She pretty much asked me out, to apologize for the bar thing. So we go to the movies, everything's fine and we're laughing and joking. And then she was flirting with the ice cream girl. And I don't mean gentle easy flirting I mean full-on flirt mode."
"That's not good"
"And I lost it and stormed out and she followed me and I said how douche it was to flirt with someone else on a date with me. And she said it was only a date coz I wanted it to be, but really, it was a date."
"Sounds like a date" Jess nodded, and Quinn held her hands up in thanks as Jess proved her point
"Exactly. But then she carried on, saying about how why are we arguing if we're not even a couple and everything. And I don't even understand how we're not a couple! We were a couple, but not now? I haven't spoken to her at all today. I just don't get why one minute she likes me, next she's making it as plain as possible that we're not a couple and I don't even know whatever else is going on in her head." She shook her head and Jess took a deep breath
"I don't know either, but it's fucking confusing. I know how much you like each other, so maybe she's just really stressed at work or something? It might be absolutely nothing to do with you?" she suggested hopefully, and Quinn tilted her head with a small, thoughtful frown
"Hmm. Maybe. She did say she's busy at the moment but...I don't know, wasn't she busier before Christmas? With the concert? I suppose we've only been" she held up air quotes "...'together' for like three months. I don't know. She's so sweet, but then she just completely flips and she's an asshole! I don't even know if I can break up with her, seeing as we're not a couple?"
"Yeah. Well like you said, it's only been three months." Jess shrugged and Quinn nodded "And everyone freaks out at the start of stuff. And this is Santana, she's kind of temperamental" Jess reasoned warily, but Quinn quirked an eyebrow knowingly "So, maybe she's just not as good at hiding her insecurities and worries as other people are?" Jess shrugged and Quinn frowned, staring at the girl opposite
"You are so smart."
Jess laughed, rolling her eyes, looking back at Quinn thoughtfully "You're my friend. And I hate seeing you get upset over a girl. Especially when the girl is Santana, who is also my friend so I can't even hate on her for it." She sighed "So I'm not going to tell you to walk away, or to stick at it if you don't want to. But I know you like each other, so...maybe just wait it out a little longer?" she raised her eyebrows and Quinn bit her lip
"I think I probably will." She replied quietly, nodding at the table top before looking up "God knows why. Maybe she'll just...go back to normal" she shrugged "Thanks, Jess." She smiled and the girl opposite grinned
"It's fine. Don't you worry honey" she sing-songed, and Quinn laughed "But I have my own lady to get back to, and she is an impatient one" she giggled and they stood up, pulling their jackets on and leaving the bar.
-ooOoo-
She opened the door, and frowned at the smell of cooking as she unbuttoned her coat. She paused in the hallway, listening for sounds of anyone in the apartment with a wary frown, "San?" she called out into the apartment, her voice echoing back at her. They didn't have any plans made for the night, and she raised a curious eyebrow
"Hey, Cupcake Girl! Come here!" Santana's cheery voice called back, and she dropped her bag on the sofa before crossing to the kitchen
"Oh, hey, what are you doing?" she grinned with a frown at the sight in her kitchen. Santana was stood in her kitchen in a spotty red dress, wearing one of her little aprons and wielding a wooden spatula. A large pan of rice and seafood sat on the stove, and Quinn gazed a round, fairly bemused.
"I decided," Santana stepped towards her, taking both of her hands in her own with a sweet smile "that I would cook for you." The smile dropped "Mostly to prove I can." She smiled again, leaning in to kiss Quinn gently on the nose before continuing "But also because you always cook for me. So I thought I'd return the favour." She grinned, and Quinn swallowed "And because I'm sorry. About the...Ben and Jerry's thing" Santana looked down with a blush, chewing her lip nervously, but Quinn nodded.
She took a deep breath and smiled, "Its okay" then plastered a grin on her face, whilst inside her organs felt like they were turning. The guilt was twisting in the pit of her stomach, spreading through to her chest within seconds as she thought of how, only half an hour ago, she had been discussing Santana's short-coming with Jess. Well, that was bitchy. And now Santana is apologizing and making me dinner, and looking ridiculously cute in my kitchen, and my apron. She bit her lip with a small frown, oppressing her shame as she leaned in to kiss the brunette with a small smile.
Santana had noticed the mix of emotions on the blonde's face, and frowned, pulling away before their lips could meet "What's wrong?" Quinn began to shrug but she shook her head "No, what's wrong? Talk to me. Is it about the movies?" She stared Quinn in the eyes, searching her face for an indication of the blonde's feelings, but Quinn smiled. She was impressed with Santana's willingness to talk about it, instead of avoiding the subject as soon as she possibly could, like usual. Hmm, maybe that's progress.
"Nothing. You...are just so sweet." She took a deep breath and grinned, bringing her hands up to Santana's neck to pull her into a long kiss "You're awesome" she whispered with a smile, resting her forehead on Santana's as she took a deep breath, feeling her heart thumping against her chest, and butterflies running rampant through her stomach at the girl's familiar scent.
"I know, right?" Santana teased and Quinn rolled her eyes, "Now get out of my kitchen! You're getting in the way!" she scolded and the blonde looked offended, pouting at the brunette
"My kitchen. But okay, I'm going to go get changed." She pecked Santana again before leaving the room with a small smile. She flopped face-down onto the bed, her limbs outstretched, with a small groan. She closed her eyes, frowning in to the bedcover as she thought about the events of the last few days. She wasn't sure how long she had been laid thinking, until she felt Santana's body drop down next to her. The brunette lay propped on an elbow, her head resting on her hand as she watched Quinn. She turned her head to the side, to look up at Santana as her fingers ghosted up and down the blonde's back, leaving goosebumps in their wake.
She took a deep breath "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she sighed, frowning with concern. Quinn gave a small smile, shifting onto her side to gaze up at the brunette
"It's been a very long day. And now there is a very pretty girl making me dinner. And I'm just very, very grateful" she grinned and Santana looked down at the bedcover, blushing with a small smile
"Well, I wanted to do something nice for a change" there was a hint of guilt in her voice, and Quinn frowned
"Don't say that. You're very sweet" she smiled, her face still laid against the bedcover, and she closed her eyes contentedly
"Thanks." Santana paused, watching the blonde's serene face, taking a deep breath "I don't think I can give you what you from me. I like you, and I like dating you...but I don't do the whole relationship thing." She shrugged slightly, blocking out her thoughts and trying to believe the lie "It's nothing to do with you. I just don' think I can give you what it is you're looking for."
She fell silent and Quinn sighed. She knew it was lies. Santana had mentioned ex-girlfriends numerous times. So it was her. She heard the brunette twisting her hands nervously, but Quinn couldn't think of a single reply. There was nothing to say that.
"I really like you. And I like dating you and I like having fun with you. But if you need more then..." her voice cracked slightly and she looked up at the ceiling, swallowing before she continued "Then I don't know what to do. I want you, but I can't give you more than this." She frowned, blinking away tears she refused to let the blonde see, but Quinn's eyes stayed tightly closed. She couldn't tell if the blonde was crying, or angry, or even awake.
She weighed up the options. Accept the lies she knew the girl was telling her. Keep having fun and enjoying the moments when Santana made dinner and they had fun. Walk away. Grow a backbone and walk away from the whole situation. Let go of Santana, scary as it may be, and find someone else who she laughed and had fun with. Leave Santana to her messed up world of relationships.
Quinn rolled over. Her eyes were dry, and Santana was thankful she had managed to hold in her emotions and not cry. She stared at the blonde, her jaw tense and heart hammering as she waited for a verdict. The blonde pulled herself into a sitting position, gazing at Santana before giving a small smile and taking a breath. She leaned over slowly, closing the small gap between them, placing a slow kiss on the brunette's lips.
Santana smiled when she pulled away, and cleared her throat quietly "Okay, I'm gonna, I mean, I'd better go, and go check dinner" she nodded awkwardly before standing from the bed and leaving the room in the direction of the kitchen, and Quinn gulped as she watched her go.
Sometimes letting go is just too scary.
-ooOoo-
"God, I love Valentine's Day!" Rachel beamed
"How? You're single" Brittany pointed out with a frown, and Jess giggled
"And it's not for like…three days" Santana pointed out
"Yes, Brittany, I am." she nodded seriously "But that does not mean that I can't enjoy the repercussions of this holiday of love, giving, and good cheer"
"Isn't that Christmas?" Jess reasoned, standing on tip toes to look down the long queue in front of them
"Yeah, jew. Stop stealing our holidays" Brittany grinned, and Rachel rolled her eyes
"Well I love Valentine's day, despite being single. I like seeing cute couples sharing their love with the world, and the cards and gifts and Valentine's Day plans" she grinned
"Berry, it doesn't count as 'plans' if it's you and your hand, just FYI" Santana chipped in as she caught the blonde's eye and waved. Quinn grinned back at her for a millisecond before getting back to work, getting increasingly flustered and frustrated
"Thanks, Santana, you're hilarious. Well, just because I'm the only single one in the group doesn't mean I'm going to mope about it" she rolled her eyes and Santana blanched at her use of the word 'single' with a scowl, before turning back to watch the blonde behind the counter with a shy grin, while Brittany and Jess had created their own little bubble, talking with their heads close together and giggling quietly.
Quinn looked up again with a frown, her eyes searching the crowd for the familiar face. She caught Santana's eye and beckoned her towards her, and Santana shrugged apologetically, gesturing to the queue. The blonde shook her head furiously and shouted her name as she began to serve the next customer, and Santana had no choice but to push through the crowd "I'm sorry. Excuse me. Don't worry, I'm not. Sorry, I'm not pushing! I'm sorry, excuse me. Thanks"
She reached the front of the queue, staring at Quinn like she was insane "What are you doing? What's wrong?" Quinn reached below the counter and threw an apron at her
"Jacket off. Put this on. Help me"
"What? I can't, I don't-"
"Sam can't come, and I'm really busy."
"I see that"
"Shut up and put on the apron. You know the cakes well enough, you serve and I'll work the till. Just help me" she glared, and Santana stared wordlessly. She paused, considering saying no, before she pulled her jacket off and ducked behind the counter, turning to the woman at the front of the queue as she tied the apron around her waist
"Hello, how can I help you ma'am?" she smiled politely before reaching for the cupcake the woman requested, surveying the flavours in the case as she did so. They worked much quicker, and the crowds in the bakery soon began to dissipate, and Quinn grinned at her gratefully from the other end of the counter.
As they started to reach the end of the queue, and Rachel, Jess and Brittany were coming closer, when a tall man with an angry expression stepped up.
"Hey, cupcake girl!" he shouted, getting Quinn's attention, and the girl looked affronted before giving the man a tight smile as Santana blanched, raising an eyebrow. That's my nickname, asshole.
"Hello, sir, how can I help you?" she said politely and the man rolled his eyes
"You can help me by taking this piece of shit" he slammed a half eaten cupcake down on the counter "and giving my money back!" he shouted in Quinn's face, and Santana's eyes darted to the three girls behind him, all of whom were looking stunned, stood with their mouths open
"I'm sorry, sir, is there a problem?" the politeness was gone, and her face was expressionless
"Yeah there's a fucking problem!" he splayed his hands on the counter, leaning in threateningly, and Santana's jaw tensed as she took a step closer to Quinn protectively "You sold me this lemon cupcake and it tastes like shit!"
Quinn took a deep breath, "Well I'm sorry, sir-" she started but the man cut her off
"I don't want your fucking apologies, I want my money back!"
"Hey!" Santana stepped in "Calm down, and please could you stop cursing" she said, and the man frowned, turning his attention to her
"Stay out of this, spic" he scoffed, and Rachel's jaw dropped, her eyes widening comically as Santana visibly recoiled
"Oh God" Jess muttered
"Oh no he didn't" Brittany winced and Rachel bit her lip
"Don't do it, Santana, stay calm"
Quinn held up a hand to stop the raging brunette, before speaking quietly "Excuse me, sir. But we don't give refunds for half eaten cupcakes, just because the customer doesn't like them. That is a matter of opinion, and I would like you to leave the premises now." She spoke calmly, never looking away from the man's piggy eyes, and when she was finished he rolled his eyes
"I'm no leaving, until I get my money back, blondie" Again, my nickname.
"Okay that's it. Fuck this." Santana stepped in but the man was too quick
"What, defending your little girlfriend? Back off, dyke" he spat, and Jess and Brittany immediately surged forward
"Hey asshole?" Santana shot back "Yeah I am. And don't you dare call her that. And I'd rather be a 'spic' than a letch like you!" she shouted back at him
"Jesus, why are you dykes always so angry?" he provoked "Maybe if you got some dick you'd be less of a bitch" Rachel's mouth dropped in horror as Santana stared, speechless, and Quinn retreated into herself, looking down at her hands with a frown. The brunette leaned over to place a comforting hand on Quinn's shoulder, but she shrugged her away, wincing.
Brittany and Jess blanched, and the blonde shoved him away from the counter as Jess finally turned on him "What, and you'd be the one to do it, yeah?" the man raised an eyebrow and smirked at her, as Brittany looked on disgusted, shoving the man's arm warningly, but Jess spoke up once again
"Well sorry, mate, but you're clearly unequipped, seeing as you're obviously a cunt." She spat at him, holding her palm out to face Brittany. The blonde slapped it swiftly before stepping forwards
"Now fuck off" she shoved him towards the door, pulling herself up to her full height and proving her strength, and the man scoffed
"Fine, like I'd wanna hang around with you dykes anyway" he shot over his shoulder as he stormed out of the shop.
The girls stood in silence for a few moments.
"Well, happy fucking Valentine's Day" Brittany rolled her eyes
"Are you guys okay?" Rachel stepped forward looking concerned
"Yeah, he's just a fucking arsehole." Jess shook her head
"Come here, baby" Brittany muttered, looking shaken up, and Jess stepped towards the blonde, who pulled her into her arms. They stood comforting each other in their own little world as Rachel turned to Santana and Quinn.
The blonde was stood leaning against the back counter, staring down at the floor, and Santana was stood opposite her in silence, a deep frown etched onto her face. "Quinn, are you okay?" Rachel said in a calm voice, and she nodded slowly, before looking up to meet Santana's eyes. The brunette attempted a comforting smile, but her hurt frown couldn't be hidden, and Quinn stepped forward to pull her into a hug.
"Are you okay?" Santana whispered in Quinn's ear, and felt the girl gulp back tears before she replied
"Mmhm. I think so. Are you?" she muttered, stroking patterns on Santana's back as the brunette inhaled the comforting smell of limes and baking with a small smile. Jess was now stood with Brittany pressed against her back, and they were in light, stilted conversation with Rachel.
Santana shrugged "I guess. Just a little shaken"
"Yeah, me too" Quinn nodded as Santana pulled away, nodding
"Why don't you close up early?" she shrugged "We'll spend the rest of the night together, watch some stupid films, order tacos. Try to forget about that asshole"
Quinn nodded "Yeah, good idea. I'm gonna lock up, hold on"
The girls left the shop and waited on the sidewalk as the blonde turned off the lights and locked the doors. "Nice comeback, by the way, Jess" Santana nodded as they waited, and the girl gave a soft laugh
"Yeah, I have never been more proud of you" Brittany giggled and Rachel nodded
"Work of genius" Jess blushed at the praise, and they all felt a little better as they began to walk in their separate directions.
-ooOoo-
"Baby, are you okay?" she frowned as she turned to the blonde on the sofa beside her. They had just finished their food, and were on their second guilty pleasure film; You've Got Mail, "You've been really quiet since today"
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just shaken me, you know?" Quinn shrugged, shifting closer to Santana, who stretched out an arm, and the blonde snuggled in to her side
"Yeah I know, it's scary when stuff like this happens, isn't it?" she nodded understandingly and pressed her lips to the blonde's hair, and Quinn took a deep breath before answering
"Well, it's never really happened to me before" she shrugged again, nestling her face in Santana's neck and breathing in the familiar smell
"Never? This is the first time?" Santana frowned
"Well yeah. I mean, I didn't really tell anyone growing up, and even now most people don't know I'm gay. It's just something I kept to myself, so I never faced any of this" she shook her head with a frown and Santana's mouth dropped open with surprise
"Oh...I see." She nodded slowly
"I dunno, I never faced it before and sort of assumed I never would." She shrugged "I just sort of thought the world was a nicer place" Quinn said glumly, and Santana felt her neck growing damp from the girl's tears, and she pulled back to look Quinn in the eye
"Don't say that. Because the world is a nicer place, it was just that one guy was a total asshole!" she wiped the blonde's tears, leaning forwards to kiss her forehead "Please don't be upset. You're so beautiful when you're happy"
"But not when I'm upset? God, thanks, San" Quinn glared in mock offence, and Santana rolled her eyes. The blonde gave her a small smile and leaned forwards to kiss her, before ghosting kisses up her cheekbones to her temple "Thank you" she whispered against her skin, and Santana tucked her head under the blonde's chin with a smile.