I truly apologize for taking this story to hiatus for so long. School took up a lot of my time this past year, but I'll try to get to work on this during the summer, even if I have to sacrifice some swimming days to do this. ;;

I have the urge to revise some of my previous stories, but revise them into whole different stories, and just making new ones. So, I think I'm going to do that soon. After this story is done, I think I'll start with the main idea for What the Hell is Going On! and make it darker and such. After I'm done with that, I think I'll move on to A Strand of Golden Hair. Mainly because I have no idea what to do for another story. I'm sort of blank.

Save Me From Myself

Chapter Twenty-six: Suppressed Memories

If you've ever forgotten something for a long time, and then remember it, that feeling is about the same as I felt. Except for with my memories, they were the worst things imaginable. But, that was only the first time I transformed. I couldn't even begin to fathom what the other times I transformed were like. So I didn't even try. I just tried to push the memory back and hoped that it was just a fluke, that I remembered it on accident...

- - -

"I... remember the first time I transformed," Kagome repeated, not taking her eyes from the wall in front of her.

InuYasha hardly seemed able to register what she just told him. He made his way over to Kagome and asked softly, "Can you remember the other times you transformed?"

Kagome shook her head.

"Just the one."

This could be problematic. InuYasha looked at Kagome carefully, trying to see if she was pulling any sort of joke on him, even though he knew that Kagome wouldn't joke about this. Hell, she hardly joked at all... or at least anymore.

InuYasha scooted closer to the girl who held her knees to her chest. Kagome was close to tears, and she didn't look at anything but the wall. It was a miracle that she hadn't transformed.

But that's why it was a problem... If she remembered any more times that she transformed, then she would definitely transform. There was no doubt in InuYasha's mind about that.

Hesitantly, and while swallowing the nervousness that he could feel rising within him, he took his hand and set it on Kagome's back, pulling her close to him. She needed his support, and if he couldn't do that, he wasn't much of a... friend. AGH! He shouldn't be thinking about things like that! Kagome's in trouble, and she needs him.

Feeling a hand rest on her back, Kagome stiffened for just a moment before relaxing and resting herself against InuYasha. Tears started rolling down her cheeks, but for some strange reason, she didn't feel as afraid now. It's because of InuYasha, isn't it? she asked herself, already knowing the answer.

InuYasha could smell the tears as Kagome silently cried. It was like she was sharing her pain with him, because he felt his heart pang at seeing her like this. Somehow, the physical contact that they shared had created a link between them, InuYasha had thought. That had to explain it. And he hated to see her cry, so the physical contact was just making it worse... right?

Mustering all the courage he could, he spoke. "Don't... Don't cry, Kagome," he said to her, the sincerity in his voice filling the room. "I'm here for you... We'll get through this."

Kagome's silent tears continued to roll down her face, and she held onto the red fabric of his haori like it was a lifeline, which it could have very well been. She nodded without saying anything and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his body next to hers.

Kagome was surprised she hadn't transformed already. She had been crying forever, but felt... good? She hardly understood why.

Outside a flash of lightning lit up the sky and flashed through the door. Neither of them had realized that it was raining until the sudden light and booms of thunder.

"The rain," Kagome said in a whisper, "must be cleaning the earth of the evil that had plagued this land for so long... Tomorrow I'm going to go to the lake... okay?"

InuYasha rose an eyebrow, his blush slightly fading from feeling Kagome up against him. "Why do you want to go there?" he asked.

"The lake probably should be purified. It's filled with Naraku's ashes," Kagome said, making idle conversation.

Both of them knew that Kagome was too afraid to go back asleep. She didn't want to see another vision, and InuYasha didn't want to leave her alone. She needed someone, and he was the only one there to offer support.

"InuYasha..." Kagome said, catching the hanyou's attention. "I just wanted to thank you, for pulling me out of the transformation the first time. I didn't realize how you did that. It must have taken a lot of courage for you to go and hug me in front of all of those people." Kagome commented.

InuYasha blushed, turning his gaze from Kagome. "Yeah... well... You woulda done the same thing for me. And it's not like it was that big of a deal. And I knew that I was the only one who could do anything," InuYasha said quietly.

Kagome looked up without moving her head, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. "So, if Sango was in that sort of trouble and you were the only one who could save her, you would have hugged her?" Kagome said in mock anger.

"Now wait a minute!" InuYasha said, raising his voice only slightly so he wouldn't wake the others. "I never said that. I mean... well, if push came to shove, I guess I would have to, but I wouldn't do it because I wanted to!"

"So you wanted to hug me?" Kagome asked, smiling slightly.

InuYasha blushed as red as his haori and quickly became flustered. "Well... I... It... It's not like... It was the only... I just knew I had to!" InuYasha finally said after a long pause.

Kagome laughed, clear and crisp, adding to the music that the rain made. "I'm joking with you, InuYasha. You're so funny." Kagome scooted closer to InuYasha.

Their conversation ceased and a comfortable silence settled between them. They were both content, but at the same time, afraid. Kagome was afraid that if she fell asleep again, she would see another memory of when she was a demon, and InuYasha was afraid for what was to come.

- - -

Though the rest of the night was sleepless for the both of them, Kagome and InuYasha were strangely rested. Kagome was being extra careful not to get over emotional, and didn't tell anyone else about the dream that she had.

The day went by painfully slow. Sango remained unconscious, and Miroku had sucked in more poison that he had thought. Though his Kazanna was now gone ("Naraku must really be dead!" InuYasha had said triumphantly), Miroku was still fighting the shouki that was left over from the fight. Miroku was conscious at least.

Kagome sat against a tree on a hill overlooking the village below. InuYasha walked towards her, but she didn't even notice him; she was too lost in her thoughts.

"Kagome," InuYasha said, startling Kagome.

She looked up at him and smiled softly. "Oh. InuYasha," she said, leaning back against the tree once more.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

Kagome shrugged. "The memories have begun to return, but right now I am alright. I can't begin to imagine how you all must have felt when I became a... monster. I hate myself even more, now."

InuYasha sat down next to Kagome, staying silent for a short while.

"I know what you mean," he whispered, breaking the silence.

Kagome turned to look at him, eyes wide in surprise. It wasn't often that InuYasha shared his feelings with her.

"When I transformed, I was so afraid that I was going to hurt all of you. I couldn't stand it," he said, glaring into the distance.

Kagome replied softly, "You're still dealing with it, aren't you?"

InuYasha nodded.

A huge yawn startled some birds in the tree that the two of them were leaning against, but all they did was twitter and flap their wings.

"I'm tired," Kagome muttered, blinking a couple times.

The hanyou next to her stood up and said, "Come on, let's go get some food. Then you can get some sleep."

"What if I have another dream?"

InuYasha sighed. "I guess we'll just have to let you dream. You have to sleep some time..."

Kagome looked around and noticed the lake. "Before we do that, I need to check the lake. Do you want to come with me?" Kagome asked, smiling a little bit.

InuYasha looked toward the lake and nodded. "Sure."

- - -

Kagome knelt down next to the lake and looked at the water. It was murky and brown, nothing like it should be. The villagers had even mentioned their concerns about the lake during their conversations.

The miko held out her hands over the lake and then shoved them into the water, gathering and releasing her purification powers into the lake. Like a ripple, the pink glow from her hands spread through the lake, causing the lake and everything around it to glow brightly.

InuYasha watched in awe. The power that Kagome had, even in her weakened state, was incredible.

When Kagome took her hands out of the water, she and InuYasha watched the lake slowly go back to normal, the water crystal clear and beautiful.

"It worked..." InuYasha said in awe. He glanced at Kagome, who was still watching the lake. She's amazing, he thought before blushing profoundly.

The two of them left, walking back to the village, InuYasha still in awe in what he just saw.

- - -

That night Kagome tossed and turned in her bed, sweat pouring down her body. She winced and tried to wake up, but it was futile.

- - -

..."Kagome! Snap out of it!"...

...InuYasha growled and his knuckles cracked. "Kagome!" he shouted, making Kagome stop and all the students turn to look at him.

"Kagome?" some people asked, and others said things like "Higurashi Kagome? The one who goes to this school?"...

...The miko growled. "Stop." InuYasha took a step forward. Kagome growled more. "Stop!" The daring hanyou started to walk towards her, but slowly.

"I SAID STOP!" Kagome yelled, turning around and slashing through the air, causing three long gashes to appear on InuYasha's face. He winced was the blood started to trickle down to his chin, but he walked forward...

...Kagome took a step back, and held her claws towards the students, her wings flaring out a bit. "If you come any closer, I'll kill them all," Kagome said, just loud enough for the humans to hear. The students gasped and a couple screamed, but none of them moved, in fear that they would be killed sooner.

"You wouldn't do that, Kagome," InuYasha said stepping forward. Kagome's hand went closer to the humans, but she made no move to kill them...

..."Because you're not a youkai! You're a human! You wouldn't kill your friends, Kagome! You've had enough strength to stop yourself from killing me plenty of times! This is no different!"...

..."What are you doing?" Kagome shouted, taking another step back. He was about a foot away from her now.

"This isn't you. You're not really a youkai, and you're not going to kill these people. You're a miko," InuYasha said, ignoring the clawed hand threatening to hurt him.

"No I'm n--!" Kagome's protests were cut off by InuYasha embracing her tightly. She glared and struck him through the stomach with her claws, but he grasped her tighter...

- - -

Kagome awoke with a start, her breathing short and ragged. It was dark, and no one was up yet. Deciding not to bother anyone, she stood and walked outside, not realizing that InuYasha watched her.

She must have had another memory return, InuYasha thought, frowning. Instead of following her, like usual, he sat in his spot, one eye opened and waiting for Kagome to return.

- - -

The next day was a good one. Kagome seemed fairly happy, hiding the fact that she remembered well. She was anxious, and didn't want night to return again.

Sango woke up around noon, and was happy to remember that Naraku had been killed. Miroku even celebrated her waking up with a grope with his now un-cursed hand. Sango wasn't really in the mood for celebrating after that.

Shippo seemed to enjoy playing with the village children, and the village children seemed to enjoy playing with InuYasha, even if he didn't enjoy it all that much.

Kagome got some tips from the village mikos (somehow this village seemed to have plenty of people with spiritual powers) and even trained with them a little bit as she tried to hone her skills.

The day went by smoothly, all of the villagers happy to have heroes amongst them.

The night didn't go quite as smoothly, though.

Kagome had another dream.

- - -

..."Kagome!" InuYasha shouted as he ran towards where she floated in the air. He looked up at her and glared. "You've got to stop this!"

"Never!" Kagome shouted, her grin as wide as ever. "You have no control over me anymore! You can't stop me! Not unless you fight me!"...

..."Because I know how you are! You're unselfish! You care about others! You're Kagome! You aren't a youkai, and you don't want to kill them!" InuYasha shouted out.

Kagome's eyes narrowed. "Sorry, hanyou, but your words will have no effect on me this time. I have no idea what sort of magics cause this feeble human soul to return to what it once was, but I'm not going to fall out of control any more! Hanyou, prepare to die!" Kagome shouted, showing her fangs and claws to InuYasha...

..."Possessed? Possessed! You think I'm possessed? Ha! I'm far from possessed! I'm a youkai, and I'm gonna kill you!" Kagome yelled, running towards InuYasha, her claws ready...

..."You're done for," Kagome said, jumping up and kicking InuYasha into the ground, making a small crater reminiscent of the holes made by the enchanted necklace that the hanyou wore.

Kagome landed next to him, and crouched down, ready to strike the last blow to his unconscious form. Her clawed hand went straight for his neck.

Only a small trickle of blood seemed to come from InuYasha's neck. Kagome hadn't touched him; she hadn't even finished the blow. Her hand stopped right when she touched his neck with her claw.

"Why... can't I kill him?" Kagome asked herself, anger flaring around her.

She growled and stood, glaring at the unconscious boy in front of her. "No matter. I'll just have to kill something else," she said, her voice dark and malicious...

..."This is gonna be fun," said the possessed miko, before lunging towards the humans...

...Kagome stood on top of the largest pile of wood and buildings, a few chickens cut up on the ground near her. Littered all over the ground was bodies and blood, and Kagome was covered in the blood of others, grinning madly. She held onto the clothing of a human still alive, squirming under her gaze and tears streaming down her cheeks...

...She pulled back her hand and stuck it through the human's gut, piercing through numerous organs. Blood covered Kagome's hand and started to slide down her arm... The woman with a hand in her stomach started to cough up blood, which splattered on Kagome's still grinning face...

...Slowly, she faltered and returned to normal, falling unconscious once more, blood seeping down her body.

InuYasha picked her up so she would be more comfortable on both of them, and walked over to Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippo, who all took a couple steps back. The hanyou's eyes saddened, but it was hidden by a glare.

"She's harmless now, guys," InuYasha said, his voice harsh.

"Yeah, but how long will that last?" Shippo asked, the fearsome realization of that statement striking everybody to the core...

- - -

Kagome's eyes opened with a start, the blood red color of her irises seeming to glow in the darkness.

End Chapter