AN- Okay, I know it's been since like...June? Since I've updated. I apologize for that. Writer's block is a hell of a thing. But, I have found new inspiration for this fic and I'm really looking forward to giving it the finish it deserves. Anyway, thanks to everyone that has stuck around! I hope you like the new chapter. It's actually going in a slightly different direction than I had it before...but nothing too major. I did it this way so I can sneak in one final smutty scene (not this chapter).

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Kakashi's hands were trembling as he slammed the door to his car, though the cold winter morning had nothing to do with it. He barely felt it at all, his body too numb to even register the temperature. The thermostat on his dash had said it was close to freezing but the anger he was currently feeling drove away any cold.

The front porch to Asuma and Kurenai's house was cheerily decorated for the upcoming holiday, with a wreath on the front door and icicle lights hanging from the roof. Through the middle of the wreath, he could see that the light was on in the living room. Good. They were awake.

He took the steps of their porch two at a time and inhaled a deep breath through his nose before using the door knocker. From inside, he could hear Asuma shuffling his feet from the couch to the door and a moment later, he pulled it open to peer down at Kakashi in surprise.

"Christmas must have come early for us! You going around delivering presents?" He joked with a grin, folding his arms across his chest. Kakashi couldn't bring himself to even crack a smile and he pushed his hand through his hair. Immediately, his friend seemed to sense that this wouldn't be a friendly visit and Asuma's brow pinched together on his forehead. "Everything alright?"

"I actually need to speak to Kurenai." Between Asuma's body and the door frame, Kakashi caught sight of the woman in question. She was standing in the hall that lead to the baby's room, carrying the bundle to her chest as she kept her eyes narrowed icily on Kakashi.

"Alright," Asuma said, taking a step back to hold the door open. "You want to come inside?"

"No. I'll just wait here."

A few seconds passed, Asuma's confusion making him hesitate. The tension that suddenly arose between the three of them was hard to ignore and he knew it would probably be best to sit this one out. He took a step back and left Kakashi at the door, turning to take the baby from his wife's arms. They shared a few words whispered too low for Kakashi to hear. Not that he wanted to anyway. He was too angry to care in that moment.

With another deep breath, he stepped away from the door and moved to the porch railing, leaning over it with both hands down on the rail. The door hinges creaked behind him and he closed his eyes, trying to calm the fury radiating from within him. Once the door shut, he stood up straight and let his breath out in a fog.

"Judging by the look on your face, I take it you're not here to sing Christmas carols?"

Kakashi whirled around to face her, narrowing his eyes into a glare that he hoped she could feel. He shook his head, unable to remember the last time he was this furious. "What gives you the right to pry into my personal life?"

She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, eyes rolling. "I didn't do much prying, Kakashi. The information was there. All I did was be close enough to overhear her bragging to her friends."

"That's bullshit. Sakura wouldn't do that." He wanted to believe that to be true, but he couldn't deny that her words elicited a tendril of fear from inside him. With a shake of his head, he pushed it back down into the depths of his mind. "You don't know her like I do."

"I know her well enough to form my own opinion."

Kakashi felt his fists clench so hard at his sides, his fingernails digging deep into the flesh of his palm. "You don't know anything about us aside from what you've built up in your own head. I can't believe you, Kurenai. I thought we were friends."

At this, her face shifted into surprise and she blinked, letting her hands drop to her sides. "We are friends, Kakashi. That's why this is so upsetting. I never in a million years would have dreamed that you could do something this stupid. What were you thinking?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

She scoffed and placed her hands on her hips "No, you don't. But you'll have to explain it to the Board when they find out and they will. She's your student, Kakashi! People have been fired for far less than this."

He clenched his jaw and turned away from her, leaning against the porch rail once more. "She's not my student anymore."

"No," she started, stepping closer to him. "But, she was when I saw her coming to your office last week and a month before that, she was sitting outside your door like a puppy. Has this been going on since then?"

"What does it matter?" He sighed, closing his eyes. Behind his eyelids, he could see Sakura sitting in the floor beside his office door the day she had come to apologize to him. He had been so hurt, so confused by what he was feeling but, in that moment, he was only relieved that she was there. Now, everything was back to being completely fucked up.

For two hours last night, he had tried to call Sakura, getting her voicemail each time. She had only sent him a single text explaining what had happened and that she never meant for anyone to get hurt. After two hours of not speaking to her, he drove to her apartment only to find it dark. If she was home, she wasn't answering. He had stayed up all night, going over and over and over everything in his mind until it had driven him mad. Every time he thought about what she could be going through, it was like daggers stabbing through his chest. It was only after he couldn't take anymore of his own inner turmoil that he felt the need to take it out on Kurenai. After all, this was her fault.

"It matters to the Board, Kakashi. All they'll have to do is look at her grades this last semester in your class. If she made anything higher than a C, they'll assume you gave her the grades. Especially with your reputation."

"Fuck the Board. They can assume whatever they want. Sakura earned her grades because she's intelligent and a good student."

From beside him, Kurenai heaved a sigh and leaned a hip against the railing. Several seconds passed in silence, the only sound between them was the muffled TV playing from inside the house. "Kakashi," she said softly, putting a hand to his shoulder. Despite wanting to shrug it away, he let her hand stay. "You may not care what they think but if this ever got out…everyone would assume she slept with you for her grades."

Another dagger pierced his heart and he flinched, letting his head fall. When had he lost control? Was it the moment he kissed her in the auditorium, or the night he had walked her home from work? No, it was before all of that. It was the moment she stepped on his foot and snapped at him in front of the fountain. That moment she had looked into his eyes, like she instantly saw past all of the masks he wore to keep everyone out, and any sort of control he thought he had had started to crumble.

"Look," Kurenai said with a sigh. "I'm sorry I spoke to her so harshly. I was just so furious and in shock that I may have lost it. She…she seems like she cares a lot about you."

Kakashi nodded but didn't look up at her. All the anger he had been feeling, all the fire that drove him to confront her was fading fast, leaving nothing but the dark and cold inside him. He shivered. "It doesn't matter anymore. She won't answer my calls."

"Oh," was all Kurenai had to say and it was enough to make a small spark of anger ignite in Kakashi. He lifted his head and pursed his lips, too exhausted to fight anymore. "How did you know I had talked to her then?"

Though he could recite the text word for word, he didn't want to hear it out loud. Instead, he reached into his front pocket and pulled up the text message Sakura had sent him last night at 10:15 when he was settling down to sleep. It had jolted him awake instantly, keeping him in a state of delirium all night. He passed the phone to Kurenai and she held it further away from her face to be able to read it.

SH: I don't know how to say what I'm about to say and I hate myself for saying it through a text message. I'm so sorry for the way things have come out. It was never the way I had intended it to and if it were left to me, it would all still be our secret. Your friend, Professor Yuhi, overheard some things about you and I. She was furious, and rightfully so. I should have never said anything and I'm so sorry I did. This is all my fault but I want to make it right before it's too late. Just know, that this isn't because of anything you have done. You're amazing and wonderful and every minute I spent with you was the happiest of my life. But, I can't let you ruin your life for me. I'm sorry.

"Shit," Kurenai mumbled, passing the phone back to him with a sigh. She pushed her hair from her face and looked out at the front yard where thick snowflakes were starting to fall. "Kakashi, I'm sorry. I know that means nothing now, but, I am."

He wanted to tell her that she was right, it means nothing to him now that the damage was done. He took a shaking breath and opened his mouth to tell her that he just wanted to be left alone now, but never got the chance. She grabbed his arm suddenly. "Wait. You said she wasn't answering your call. What if you did it from my phone?"

"What?"

"She won't recognize my number. It could be worth a shot if you want to talk to her." She didn't wait for his answer, hurrying through the front door and leaving him behind in the cold. Through the front windows, he could see Asuma jump off the couch, asking her what in the world was going on. His questions were ignored as she grabbed her purse and was back through the door once again. "Here," she said, pulling her phone out of the front pocket of her purse.

Kakashi held it in his hands, staring down at the screen in doubt. This seemed ridiculous, but if it meant he got to at least hear her voice one more time, he was willing to try it. His fingers shook as he typed Sakura's number into Kurenai's phone. He looked up at her, his thumb hovering over the call button. "What if she doesn't want to talk to me?"

"She does." Kurenai nodded gently and put a hand to his arm to reassure him. "Trust me."

With his heart pounding hard in his ears, Kakashi pushed the button and put the device to his ear. After the second ring, he closed his eyes, the hope he had felt slowly slipping away. The third ring made his stomach clench tight and by the fourth, he was shaking his head. He pulled the phone away from his ear just barely when a voice answered. "Hello?" Sakura asked sleepily.

"Sakura," Kakashi breathed, letting his head fall back against one of the posts on the porch, shutting his eyes tight. "Please, don't hang up." Silence was his answer, but he could hear her sniffle and what sounded like a faint, but annoyed meow on the other end of the line. Across the porch, the front door shut, and he realized he had been given some privacy. Now that he had her on the phone, he had no idea what to say. All of it had immediately left his head, leaving him with only one thing in particular that he had been dying to say to her for a while now. But, he didn't want to tell her over the phone. "Can I see you?"

"Kakashi." Her voice broke, making his heart shatter. He didn't want to hear the answer, too afraid that she would say no. "I…I don't know if that's a good idea. Your friend—"

"Sakura, this isn't about my friends or yours. This is about us."

She paused and he could hear her moving about her room now. It sounded like she was opening her closet door. Kakashi's heart leapt into his throat in the hopes that she was getting dressed. "My parents are coming to pick me up in half an hour." He remembered her mentioning that she would be spending a few days at her parent's house for the holiday and he cursed beneath his breath. Thirty minutes wasn't ideal, but it was enough time for what he had to say.

"Can I see you before then?" He was already walking back to the front door, ready to toss Kurenai's phone back inside so he could race downtown. This time, Sakura didn't hesitate to answer.

"Yes."

They quickly said goodbye and Kakashi hurried through the front door, glancing between Asuma and his wife. Both were on their feet in an instant. Despite Asuma opening his mouth to, once again, question what the hell was going on, Kakashi ignored him and set the cell phone down on the table just inside the door. "I've got to go," he said, meeting Kurenai's eyes. "Thank you."

"Seriously?" Asuma demanded as Kakashi shut their door and ran back to his car.

He didn't bother turning on the heat, despite the tips of his fingers having gone completely numb from spending the past fifteen minutes out in freezing temperatures. There was no time to worry about that now.

Unfortunately, the snow had other plans for Kakashi. The streets were already turning white and after pulling out onto the highway, he was forced to turn on his wipers. Every car he came upon was driving with caution in the conditions, preventing him from going too fast. He knew that he needed to be careful if he wanted to make it to Sakura's apartment alive, but it was extremely frustrating. The clock on the dash ticked closer and closer to when Sakura would be leaving and he could only hope that her parents were going slow as well.

By the time he was passing The Village Café, they had less than fifteen minutes to talk.

He turned the car onto her street and didn't bother pulling into the parking lot in the back. He parked on the street, right outside the gate to her house where he had walked her to that night. It seemed like so long ago now. Never in a million years could he have imagined this would be where he ended up.

As he stepped out of the car, he caught a quick glimpse of the 'No Parking' sign in front of the florist's shop Sakura lived above. Hopefully, he wouldn't be towed. With a shaking breath, he wrenched open the gate and took the stairs leading up to her apartment two at a time. He could hear the dead bolt turning as he made it to the small landing outside her front door.

And as she pulled the door open, peering up at him with eyes that were rimmed with red and puffy from a night of crying, Kakashi couldn't help himself. He stepped up to her, took her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers. It was the sweetest taste that had ever graced his lips. Sakura held onto the front of his jacket, desperately pulling him closer to her as he reached down with one hand and held her up off the floor.

He moved them both inside her kitchen, warmth wrapping itself around him though he wondered if it was because of her heater or the nearness of her to him. The door shut behind him and she broke away from his lips with a sob. "Kakashi, don't." She turned away from him but he didn't let go of her, keeping her pressed to his chest.

"I can't help it." He whispered, laying his cheek against the top of her head. Her body was trembling next to his and he held her just a bit tighter, too scared to let go. "I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want you to resent me if our relationship ruins your career." Despite her voice being muffled into his chest, Kakashi had heard her and flinched. Knowing she felt like this broke his heart and the need to assure her that he could never resent her was strong.

Kakashi opened his mouth to tell her exactly that and was abruptly cut off by a knock at her door. They managed to separate, Sakura turning to face the kitchen table while he backed up against the counter before the front door to her apartment opened. "C'mon kiddo! We got to beat this snow storm rolling in." A man, who Kakashi could only assume was Sakura's father poked his head in with a grin, snowflakes covering his shoulders.

He took one look at his daughter, clearly distraught and finally caught sight of Kakashi standing awkwardly across the kitchen. "Sakura, is everything alright?"

"Yeah," She said, brushing her hair from her face as she stood up straight. The smile she gave her father was reassuring but Kakashi could see right through it. "I'm fine. Dad, this is my…my friend, Kakashi." Whether he noticed her hesitation around the word friend or not, Kakashi couldn't tell. He had noticed though and it made him wince.

"Nice to meet you." He said quietly, neither of the men offering to shake one another's hand which only added to the awkwardness that was starting to become suffocating in the small kitchen. Sakura's father eyed him for a moment, assessing both the situation and what a man was doing in his daughter's apartment so early in the morning. Without a word to Kakashi, he turned back to Sakura and leaned close to her.

"Did he stay the night?"

"Dad!" She rolled her eyes as her face lit up bright pink. She turned him toward the door and pushed him back out onto the landing. "I'll be down in a minute. Here," she said, picking up a blue and grey Konoha U. duffel bag before pushing it into his arms. "Take this down and give me five minutes, okay?"

It was clear that her father was definitely not okay with that, by the scowl across his face, but he gave her a quick nod anyway and turned to make his way down the steps, slowly. In the silence that followed behind him, Sakura shook her head and turned back to face Kakashi. "I'm sorry. He's kind of over protective."

"It's fine. I understand." He scoffed, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "I've actually never met a girl's parents before. Never thought it would be under these circumstances."

It warmed his heart to see her lips curl into a smile, no matter how small it was. As quickly as it appeared, it faded away and Sakura took a deep breath. Whatever she was about to say, Kakashi could tell he didn't want to hear it. He didn't let her speak. In two quick steps, he was across the kitchen once more, taking her face in the palm of his hands. "Sakura, I love you. I should have told you sooner, and I'm sorry it's taken me this long. I'm in love with you and I will never resent you for whatever happens to my career. You've made me happier than being a professor ever has."

She blinked up at him, her eyes wide and brimmed with fresh tears that he brushed away with his thumbs. "You do?" Her words were a whisper and he tilted her face up to his, kissing her lips softly. It didn't take long before she relaxed and melted into his embrace, returning his kiss.

The sound of a car horn honking down at the street tore her away from him with a strangled cry in the back of her throat. She swiped at her face with the back of her hand and shook her head. "I love you too, Kakashi, but…"

"But, what?"

Sakura lifted her gaze to him and he could see everything he was feeling mirrored back at him. Fear, longing, uncertainty, it was all there in her stare. His chest ached to see it on her face. "I'm terrified of you changing your feelings about me. I'm scared that if we pretend that this had never happened that it will be so much harder in the future. I don't want to lose you, but I don't…I—"

The car horn broke through her words again, and she pushed her hands through her hair, choking back a frustrated sob. "God, I can't think!"

"It's okay," He soothed, brushing the strands of hair from her face as they caught on the streaks of tears. "As much as I do not want to let you go right now, I have a feeling your father won't stay in the car for much longer."

She scoffed. "You're probably right. I'm sorry I avoided your calls last night. I thought it would be better that way."

"It's alright. I wish you had just talked to me, though. Your text scared me half to death." He pulled back, holding her at arm's length. "Just talk to me next time."

Down on the street, a car door slammed shut and Sakura rolled her eyes, stepping away from Kakashi. She heaved a sigh and turned the light off before pulling the front door open. "I'll be home in three days. Will you come over when I get back?" She asked as they both stepped out onto the staircase outside her door.

The snow was falling much heavier now and Kakashi took a deep breath of the frigid air, letting it burn his lungs. He stepped aside and let her lock the dead bolt, wishing he could reach out and touch her, kiss her. He refrained, unable to ignore the feeling of being watched from two very curious parents sitting in an SUV on the street. Sakura turned and smiled apologetically up at him. She didn't seem too worried about their audience and she took his hand, giving it a small squeeze. It wasn't a kiss, but it was enough to let him know that they weren't over.

He held onto her fingers as they made their way down the steps and toward the gate. It slammed shut behind them and Kakashi was surprised when Sakura followed him to his car, stopping beside the driver's side to peer up at him. Snowflakes caught on her eyelashes and the hair that framed her face and, in that moment, Kakashi didn't care if the entire university board of directors stood there watching them. He bent his head toward her and pressed a kiss to the middle of her forehead, knowing that there were two pairs of eyes watching them in the mirrors of the SUV.

"Text me," He whispered, holding onto her fingers as she took a few steps back.

With a nod, she smiled though there was still too much sadness behind it to make him feel better. Sakura turned on her heel and slipped into the backseat of her parent's car. A minute passed and Kakashi figured they were bombarding her with endless questions about him. He ducked into his own car, hoping to avoid any confrontation with either of them. Thankfully, after another few seconds, the SUV pulled away from the curb and slowly drove away.

Kakashi watched until it disappeared around the corner, only noticing the parking ticket stuck beneath the wipers as he turned them on. He sighed and let his forehead fall against the steering wheel, somehow feeling just as confused as he had an hour ago. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically, but he doubted that he would find much rest over the next three days.