Chapter 26 - Trust

Cassiopeia didn't know what to take from her conversation with Adama. He was impossible to read, and she was already frustrated by his responses to her questions. Never before had her loyalties been questioned. I'm an admiral's daughter – well, I was...before... she thought as she marched down the hallway back to the senior officers quarters. On top of everything that had happened, Cassiopeia was desperate to take a shower. After being poked and prodded by the med staff for hours and questioned like a suspect by Col. Tigh, Cass was painfully aware that she hadn't showered in two years. She was ready to clean up.

The water felt great – for once it wasn't from the cold stream that was a rugged walk away from their camp. It was always so cold – they only went down to the water when they were desperate. They had been extremely lucky to find it, but then again maybe that was the Cylon's intentions. Maybe they had picked that exact spot. Maybe they had plotted it for days, weeks, months, years... The survivor's initial injuries had been somewhat serious – yet they had all survived. The fact that two of the survivors were doctors – well, Cylons, had come in handy. They had treated everyone's injuries after the crash. Apparently, they owed it to the Cylons. The thought made her cringe. She didn't want to be grateful for the people that killed her father and destroyed the human race.

As she moved she could feel her ribs aching. The adrenaline rush had worn off hours ago, and she was now aware of the aches and pains she had acquired during her fight with D'Anna and the Viper crash landing. She had a headache, and her leg was really stiff, starting to cramp up on her. Trying to work out the knot in her calf, Cass turned off the water and headed back to the bunkroom.

There had been no sign of Apollo since she'd overheard his conversation with his father. Great – now he was worried about my loyalties too, she thought. If he was suspicious of her and trying to avoid her, it would certainly put a damper on the conversation she was planning on having with him. Instead of getting answers earlier, she only got more questions. There was so much she needed to catch up on. She had enjoyed meeting Cally and the baby, but when she held the baby, she remembered that Apollo was a father, and he never had the chance to hold his son in his arms. And then there was the little detail of Gianne being alive.

Sharon's message rang in her ears – "Have you ever lost a child, Apollo?" she had said, not realizing that he in fact had. That's why he had been acting so strange when he showed Cass her new quarters. Sharon's words had woken him up – caught him when he least expected them to, and now he was actually feeling, actually having emotions he didn't know he had. He was mourning his loss, when in reality they were both alive and aboard the Arelon Drifter.

Entering the bunkroom, clad in only a towel, she realized that all she had was her old uniform, worn and torn from two years worth of clothing all in one. No personal possessions, no comforts of home, just what she had on her person, which right now was a towel. Caked with mud and grime and things she probably didn't want to know about, she quickly tossed the uniform into a pile in the corner of the room, frustrated.

"Great," she said, what am I going to wear now?" As if he was reading her mind – Apollo arrived, new uniform in hand.

"Special delivery for a Lt. Negalla," he announced. "I'll assume you want this?" he said raising an eyebrow, as she turned to face him. He tossed the clothes in her direction.

"Thanks, I didn't really want to put those ratty old things back on," she said relieved. "Apparently, you get pretty dirty if you don't shower in two years." Apollo caught sight of her face, cleaned off, now showing the two year difference he hadn't seen before. Her expressions had always been so soft, yet now they had hardened to the harsh realities in the world. Things were different. They weren't the two carefree pilots they used to be - they were seasoned military leaders fighting in a war. Fighting for survival.

"I kind of liked the dirt smudge under your eye," he said joking, yet complimenting her. She acted as if she was trying to ignore him, making Apollo wonder what was going on. Earlier she had been the one to initiate conversation. She had a million questions – she was the one that wasn't speechless, that was him. "Is everything okay, Cass?" he asked, worried about her. She didn't answer immediately. She dressed quickly, trying to avoid any possible eye contact with her back to him.

"I'm not a Cylon," she said quickly, her back still turned to him. She caught him completely off guard.

"What?" he said, shocked. Where was this coming from? he thought.

"I'm not a Cylon," she repeated, determination in her voice. She stared off into space, hoping, praying that he would believe her.

"I never thought that you were," he said trying to make Meg believe him. "Where is this coming from?" She continued getting dressed, silently. "Cass?"

"I overheard the conversation you had with your dad," she said finally turning towards him.

"You don't honestly believe that he thinks you're a Cylon," said Apollo defensively.

"I don't know what I believe anymore, Lee," she replied, clearly upset with the situation.

"He just wants to know what happened - he wants to figure out what the Cylon's were doing," he said in defense of his dad.

"And I don't?" she yelled back, catching Kat and Racetrack off guard as they began to enter the room. Clearly catching the anger in Cass's voice, they turned back and left quickly.

"Cass, I know you're not a Cylon. I've known you for twenty years, and despite all of your unusual alienating habits, I'm pretty sure you're human," he said trying to reassure her. When her expression told him that she wasn't comforted by his words, he started to wonder. "Uh-oh, what happened?" he asked, knowing her, she had done something. She banged her head on the locker door in frustration. "What did you do?"

"Everything the Cylon said - makes sense! Tell me you see that!" she said desperate for validation for what she had done.

"Meg," said Apollo coming closer, hoping she would quit trying to change the subject, "tell me what happened." He put his arms on her shoulders and looked her square in the eye.

"I wanted answers," she started. Lee's expression told her that he wasn't satisfied with the response. "When Hot Dog took me on the tour of the ship, we sort of went passed the hatchway to where they keep the eight, Sharon." Lee didn't like the sound of where this was going. "After I heard you guys talking, I figured that I could sneak in and talk to her." Apollo shook his head, and paced back and forth for a moment.

"Who caught you?" Lee asked, knowing that it had happened from the sound of things.

"Your dad," she replied.

"Cassiopeia!" said Lee, knowing that this hadn't helped Cassiopeia's cause at all.

"Lee, I wanted answers. Hell, I still haven't gotten them! I want to know what the frack is going on, and I don't want to sit around and delegate everything out!" she shouted in frustration.

"You know that you could have come to me," he said.

"No I couldn't, and you know that," she replied. "Besides, I wasn't going to give you and your dad something new to fight about."

"That's not what this is about," he said quickly. Cass shot him a quick look that told him he was insane. "How far are you in your report?"

"I haven't started it yet," she replied, "I wanted to take a shower first."

"He's going to call you in for questioning soon," said Lee.

"He already did," replied Meg, another regretful look on her face.

"Frack," he mumbled under his breath. "After he caught you in Sharon's cell?"

"Col. Tigh was waiting for us, apparently he was coming to look for me," said Cass uneasy.

"And?" he asked nervously, "How did it go?" The expression on her face told him everything.

"I gave him the quick version of the last two years," she said trying to get by without saying anything else.

"Go on," he said, knowing she wasn't telling him everything.

"And I sort of told him that I was afraid of him," she said reluctantly. Lee laughed.

"You said you were afraid of him?" asked Lee, smiling, and understanding how uncomfortable Cass must have been at the time.

"I know, I know, never show signs of fear, but he scares the crap out of me!" said Meg honestly. "He has the power and authority to claim someone is a Cylon, and there is no clear way to approve or disprove otherwise. I mean what are you going to do? Take someone's word on it? It's all about trust."

"Pass the word, Commander Adama, you are needed in the CIC," sounded Hoshi's voice in the comm. "Commander Adama to the CIC." After a moment of silence, Cass continued.

"There are three things I've learned being back with the fleet," said Cass. "1. Nothings black and white – it's all gray area, 2. You have to trust your fellow man to survive, and 3. There's no one you can trust but yourself. What does that say for the survival of humanity?"

"You know what that says about the survival of humanity?" started Lee, as he walked to the hatch, "that we're going to make do with what we've got. Admiral Negalla taught me that. We make do with what we've got, and then those stupid frakkers won't be able to stop us."

Next: Chapter Curiosity