The River and The Highway

by mischief-maker1

Ryan Fawcett was Dean's first exorcism when he was 11 years old. Occasionally, the huntress pops up into his life. But is there a greater force at work, bringing them together again & again? Prophecies, angels, and demons abound as their story interweaves. Spoilers through the Season 9 finale. Follows existing SPN cannon. Rated M for...everything. Trigger Warnings within. Dean/OFC

26. Who's Crying Now?

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. But I do own an anti-possession necklace and earrings.

AN: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers this week! Love having all your input! OMG. Who's excited for tonight? Ugh. I'm in pain, you guys. That preview! Ugh. Major heart-fail on the horizon. I'll have to eat my feelings again and drown them in booze, the Winchester Way no doubt. Anyway, comments...let's see...

To the guest who said they had no life. I feel ya. I'm obsessed enough I'm writing fanfiction. LOL. Say no more.

I love how everyone wants them to be de-aged and for them to go back in time. Well, there is a lot of story. A lot of bad has to happen in life. However, we get a lot of good, too. Hopefully you'll stick with me ALLLLLL the way to the end to get the full effect of the story. Just because it feels like it's done, doesn't mean it is. I'll let you know when it's over.

Ryan's getting a bad rap, isn't she? I mean, she's longing for him, but she's too chicken shit to just go to him. Hmmm...I know a couple of people in real life that have that problem, without demons involved! *sigh* Life and love are really hard. And sometimes what you want most in life isn't what is best for you. I've been there, done that, and bought the tee-shirt. Alas...

And special thanks to Emy, who almost always reviews. I've almost convinced her to go back and rewatch from season one, episode one. LOL. They're all on netflix, chick. Just sayin'...

And I'll end it with a quote from sunshine1984's review: YEAH! DEAN IS COMING BACK!

---

April Twenty Fourth

Ryan smiled down at the tiny form in her arms. "He's perfect, Andy."

Andrea gave her a tired smile. "He is. Just like his daddy."

"You're speaking to me now?" Sam chuckled as he walked back in carrying a soda for his fiancée. Andy had flat refused to get married before the baby was born. She wanted to be back to her fighting weight before she walked down the isle. And Sam hadn't given one care in the world either way.

"It was just a moment of temporary insanity, babe," Andy said with a smile as she snagged his shirt and dragged him down for a kiss.

"Ewww, they're kissing, buddy boy. You don't want any part of that. Mom and Dad will gross you out from time to time. Then you can come over to Aunt Ryan's house and I'll take care of you while they're acting all disgusting," Ryan told the baby as she rubbed his soft brown hair. When Andy had gone into labor almost fifty hours ago, she had joked that the kid would be born on her birthday. She hadn't anticipated the little squirt wailing his way into the world at Twelve Oh Three A.M. So, he shared a birthday with her, which was hella cool.

She glanced at the couple. "So…you two have been pretty secretive about his name…can I hear it or am I going to have to start calling him 'Buddy'?"

Sam and Andy looked at one another. Andy smiled and Sam glanced at Ryan. "Steven. That was Bobby's middle name."

Ryan nodded. She knew that. "That's great."

"And his middle name…" Andy started.

"…Is Ryan," Sam finished.

Ryan blinked as she looked down at the little one. "You named him after…me? Not…" She couldn't say Dean's name. Not today.

"No. You mean something to both of us, Ryan. We love you. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have him."

She felt the tears fall down her face. She cleared her throat and looked at the boy. "Well, Steven Ryan Winchester, I guess if you share my name that means I'll have to show you how the world works, huh? You'll be a Man of Letters, I suppose, like your daddy, huh? And you'll be excellent at it. You'll have your daddy's looks and your mommy's brain…or maybe your daddy's brain and your mommy's looks. Either way, you can't go wrong, kid."

The baby yawned and she kissed his forehead. "He's perfect you guys," she said again. She handed him to Sam. "I'm glad you got some practice on mine before you had one of your own," she teased gently.

Sam chuckled but there were tears in his eyes. "Love you, Ryan."

She smiled softly. "I love you, too, Sam. And you, Andy." She picked up her purse. "I've got to get back to Tory. She's dying to come see him, but I knew you didn't want Loki and Tas up here…" They'd started calling Jon 'The Tasmanian Devil' since he was usually such a live wire.

"Thanks," Sam told her with another smile, though he wasn't looking at her. He was staring at Steven as if he'd never seen a baby before. That awe and wonder on his face was killing her heart.

Ryan bit her lip to stave off the hurt at the fact Dean never got to see his kids as babies and managed, "I'll see ya'll later," before she made a quick exit as the tears came fast and hard. By the time she reached the elevator, she was sobbing, and by the time she managed to stumble out to the car, she was dry heaving and couldn't compose herself if she tried. She'd done so well. She'd hidden it. She'd been happy, she was happy for them. She was ecstatic. And she was jealous as all hell. That should be me and Dean, she thought. We should have had this chance. Damn this prophecy shit and damn the curse on us and damn the fact our kids aren't normal humans. Damn it all.

It took her quite a while before she was composed enough to wipe her eyes and drive away.

---

June Fifteenth

"Ryan?"

"In here!" she called from the bathroom.

Sam walked in. "For God's sake, woman! Why do you tell me you're in here when you're half dressed?"

She continued putting on her mascara, completely unaffected by his tirade. "Hello? We've lived together for almost six years, Sam. You should know me by now. When I call out from the bathroom…She glanced down at her bra, jeans, and bare feet. "…This is probably how I'll be attired." Her eyebrow rose as she waggled it at him and smirked. "Why? Am I turning you on?"

"Jerk."

"Asshole," she muttered as she walked past him out to the bedroom and slid her tee over her head. "What?"

"It's…it's tomorrow."

Her smile softened as he sank onto the bed. She walked over and sat next to him. "Yeah, it is."

"But…tomorrow. Ryan…I'm getting married. To Andy. Tomorrow."

She giggled. "Damn straight, sugar. And it's about time, too."

"I can't…"

"Breathe," she commanded softly as she patted his hand on his knee.

"What time is everyone coming in?" he squeaked.

She thought of the guests that would be overrunning her house, the bunker, and the town at large. "This afternoon. Where are Andy and Steven?"

"Home. I told her… I mean, she said… Well, really I just needed to…" he trailed off as his brows furrowed.

She held in the additional smirk, just barely, as she supplied, "She knew you needed to decompress and freak out so she sent you over here to me, right?"

He nodded mutely.

She laughed. "Come on. I'll get you some coffee." She eyed him. "Maybe with a shot of whiskey in it, to boot.

He glanced around her bedroom forlornly. "Where are the boys?"

"In the backyard with the dogs."

"And you're taking your time getting dressed this morning?" he teased.

She shrugged. "They got up and started playing. I took today off, you know that."

"The girls are coming in to go to the spa day with you, right?"

She nodded as she padded out into the hall and down the stairs, checking to make sure he was following. "Yeah, Kris and Hope will be here in about three hours. Jess and Ben will be here before that."

"Garth? His pack?"

"They'll meet us tonight."

"Jody?"

She made a face. "She got held up. She'll be here. She said she couldn't miss one of the Winchesters finally tying the knot."

He winced. "Sometimes she's a bit callous," he commented.

Ryan shrugged as she poured two mugs of coffee, putting a generous shot of whiskey into Sam's Superman mug she kept in the cabinet. "Yeah, well," she mused. "She doesn't mean it."

She handed him his mug and he took a gulp before choking on it. "Damn it, Ryan," he sputtered when he could breathe again.

She smiled over her own cup. "Good stuff, huh?"

"Smooth," he commented as he sipped it easier the second time around.

She propped her feet up on the table. "So? What's up, Sammy?"

"I'm nervous."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Fuck off, Watson," he shot back.

She laughed. "See? You're feeling better already."

He stared into his mug a moment. "Don't know why I'm nervous," he confessed.

"It's a big freaking deal, Sam. Marriage. And, hey, you're divorced, so, you know, it's twice as hard the second time around, right?"

He shot her the bitchface. "That first time didn't count. I was under the effects of a love potion and she's a crazy ass fangirl."

Ryan chuckled. "Well, hey, at least Andy could beat anyone's ass that tried to mess with you."

"Thank God for that," he mused. He glanced at Ryan. "She's great, isn't she?"

"The best," Ryan agreed.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, with an occasional shout of glee or bark from one of the dogs from the backyard interrupting the solitude. "So…I've been thinking," she began softly.

"Uh-oh."

"Bitch," she snarled.

"Jerk," he replied lovingly.

She stuck her tongue out at him, then muttered, "Can we attempt to be adults?"

He paused as if in thought and shook his head. "Nah. We never have been. I see no reason to start now."

"Touché."

He chuckled. "Go for it."

She blew out a breath. "I'm switching the hunting partners."

His eyebrow rose as he downed the rest of his coffee and rose to pour another cup, this time, Ryan noticed, sans alcohol. "Who? Why?"

She bit her lip. She'd been thinking about it. "Hope and Jesse have a really limited time on earth. Jesse's pretty damned determined he's going to be knighted. He and I have talked about it. When Hope goes upstairs, once the wheels are in motion, I'm…I'm telling Dean."

Sam dropped the tin of cookies Ryan always kept on the countertop and whipped around to look at her. "Ryan…?"

"I can't…I've taken him away from you, Sam. I know that. I can't…I can't keep it up. Just give me, give Jon until Hope goes upstairs. Then, we'll sit him down, tell him everything. Jesse wants to go down there and be his knight. He wants to make sure he's in the right position for when Jon takes over. And the only way Dean will accept him is if he knows why Jesse is choosing to become a knight of Hell."

"But…Ryan…"

"Krissy and Ben are in a relationship. They're working through this. They're getting serious, Sam. I've seen it. Hope and I have talked about that, too. She knows if they're being hit by cupid or not but she's not telling me and I don't want to know. Save it and call it a surprise, you know? So, if that's their plan, if they're serious, they need to learn how to protect one another while being in love."

"Yeah, but…"

"I'm going to continue on in this capacity, going hunting every once in a while, raising the boys, I'll…I'll just have to deal with seeing him." And who knows? she added silently, maybe I'll have to vamp out and be sent to Purgatory before then. She wasn't sure if she wanted that, or not. But it was evident the demon juice was only growing within her, despite the injections of Castiel's blood.

Sam sank back into the chair across from her and reached for her hand. "Ryan, are you sure?"

"No," she admitted, "But I know we can't keep spinning our wheels. He needs to know. And this…this is the best solution I can come up with."

"And you didn't think to tell me any of this before now?"

"Well, it's not like you've had a lot of time on your hands, Sam. You're planning a wedding and Steven's not sleeping and…"

"You're still important, Ryan. This whole prophecy, you, the kids, all of it is still important to me."

She flipped her hands so she could link her fingers through his. "I know, Sam. I know. And you'll never in a million years know how much I appreciate that. But, I know, too, this needs to be done."

"Are you sure?"

She swallowed hard. Was she? No. But she knew she didn't have a choice in the matter. This had to be done. "Absolutely," she said with as much gusto as she could manage.

Ryan took in a deep breath as she looked herself over in the mirror. She knew she was getting older, but she still looked pretty damn good, in her opinion. "You look great, Mom," Hope said from where she lounged on the bed. Her daughter was already dressed and ready for the party tonight. Hope, Ryan, Tory, Krissy, Charlie, Andy, and Claire had all gone out together and had a full spa day. Ryan was polished, waxed, plucked, painted, and decorated from head to toe. She'd never felt so pampered. She felt like such a girl. She didn't know when the last time was she'd felt this feminine.

"As do you, Hopey."

Hope smiled as she brushed the fabric of the skirt to her amethyst dress. "Thanks. So, I'll just keep the boys here where they can play for a while and not be underfoot. It's not like you need us at the rehearsal. Loki and Taz know what to do as far as walking down the aisle. We'll meet you over at the restaurant for dinner, right?"

Ryan nodded as she slipped an earring in her ear. "I can't believe you talked me into this skirt, Hope Deanna."

Hope smirked that Winchester smirk. "You've got legs for miles, Mom. You need to show them off."

"For who?" she muttered, but she smiled. Even if she didn't have a man to look good for, she still needed to look good for herself. She felt pretty in the short leather skirt and the midnight blue halter top. She had been a tad self-conscious about wearing a halter that showed off the scars on her arms as well as the scars marring her tattoo on her back, but she'd thrown caution to the wind and she was glad she had. She felt sexy, invincible. And she needed that. Steven's birth had been a revelation for her, another one; she would never have what Sam and Andrea had, but that was okay. She had her kids. She had the Men of Letters, or Journalers as they'd begun to call it. She had the knowledge that Sam wouldn't let her become a demon, and if she started to go darkside, he had sworn to respect her decision to vamp out and send her ass to Purgatory. On the whole, her life wasn't horrible. It didn't stop her from wanting everything including the moon and stars, but she was aware of the fact she wouldn't get it.

She slipped into her heels and put her bracelet on before she walked out and down the hall. "Boys?" she inquired as she knocked on their door. Both of them looked presentable in khakis and polo shirts. "You two are too cute."

Both boys gave her identical faces of disgust. They were Winchesters. Even as children, they dressed as hunters. Jeans, boots, tees with flannel over shirts, but tonight required at the very least a polo shirt. She could only imagine their looks of disgust when they had to wear their suits for the wedding tomorrow for more than the five minutes to try them on, but as the ring bearers, they had a job to do. She grinned as she held up two suckers. "Will you two promise to be good?"

"Yes, ma'am," they chorused and smiled easily enough when she handed them both a lollypop.

"Don't get it on your clothes," she reminded them as they eagerly unwrapped the treats and sat on the top step to eat them. They were well aware of her 'no food in the bedrooms' rule.

"Great. Sugar them up before you leave them with us," Hope groaned as she stepped between them and followed her mother down the stairs.

"You've got backup, Hope," Ryan told her. Krissy and Jesse would be with her while Ben stood up with Sam and Castiel for the rehearsal ceremony. He was standing in Dean's place. Everyone knew it. And as Ryan's escort down the aisle, it was evident Dean was missing in action, but what could they do? She and Sam had one knock-down, drag-out fight about Dean being invited to the wedding. It wasn't that Ryan didn't want Sam's brother there, it was that she didn't want Jon's father there. The fact that they were one in the same only made things more complicated. In the end, Sam saw her reasoning, though he was still a bit irritated at her about it. Castiel hadn't told Dean Sam was getting married and now it would have been too late to do anything about it anyway.

"Looking good, Ryan," Ben stated as he held out an arm for her.

She placed her arm in his. "Practice?" she questioned with a smirk.

He shrugged. "Best do it now before I make an ass out of myself during the ceremony, right?"

She snorted. "Yep."

"Okay, Jody's meeting you there, I just got off the phone with her," Krissy stated as she walked in and took Jon's hand as he made to dash out the door. "Oh no you don't…you need that hand wiped, mister."

"But Kwissy…I don'ts need it. I can lick 'em off!" he stated.

Ryan chuckled. For some reason, Jon looked just like Dean, but he had the most southern accent. She wasn't certain why. "You don't need to lick them off, Jonathan Cain. You can go wash your hands like a civilized human being."

"But I ain't all human, Mama," he argued.

Ryan rolled her eyes. "God help me."

"Will I do?" Jesse asked as he picked Jon up and flung him over his shoulder.

"Me too! Me too!" Bobby asked. Jesse strong armed him, grabbed him by his middle and took both boys off to the kitchen to wash their hands.

Ryan smiled. "You guys…I love you all so much."

"We love you too," they all choroused. Ryan knew the kids realized how hard her life was. Some days were harder than others. Some days she was ill tempered and some days it was all too evident she wasn't a normal human herself. The injections of Castiel's blood were working less and less. She knew it was only a matter of time before she would have to make her move and have Sam send her to Purgatory. So she was enjoying the hell out of every minute of her life until it was over, even if that meant she was sad because Dean wasn't in it.

She smiled. "Are the dogs…?"

"Situated with a bone in the backyard," Ben told her. "They were perfectly content when I locked the back door."

She nodded. "Okay, then, let's do it," she told him as he led her out of the house. Tonight wasn't about reflecting on the problems. It was about having fun. All she had to do was enjoy her night.

"Thanks, Jody, for coming to check on the pups," Ryan stated a few hours later as she led Jody into the dark house. When she'd spoken to Hope, she found out Hope, Krissy, and Jesse had ended up taking the boys to the bunker because they'd wanted to finish some research for their upcoming cases. The girls had a dragon case they were going on and the boys were looking into a possible arachne. They had taken time off from their hunts for the wedding.

Jody shrugged. "No problem. I needed a few minutes away from the mad dash. Your life is chaotic, girl."

Ryan laughed as she let the dogs in to eat and snagged the bottle of whiskey from the cabinet. It was still quite full despite dosing Sam with it earlier in the day. "Can I tempt you?"

"For the love of God, yes."

Ryan smiled as she grabbed two glasses and sat them along with the bottle on the kitchen table. They sat in companionable silence for a few moments until the dogs finished eating and scratched at the door to be let back out.

When Ryan sat back down, Jody asked softly, "Are you okay, Ryan?"

Ryan blew out a breath. "Yeah, of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Jody shot her a look and Ryan cringed internally. The years had been incredibly kind to Jody, but she was a mother, now a grandmother. And she could peg you with a "mom face" like nobody's business. "Don't bullshit me, Ryan," Jody stated. "I'm your best friend. I know when you're lying."

The side of Ryan's mouth lifted in a half smile. Though they didn't see one another very much anymore, they talked on the phone at least once a week. She had joined Ryan on a few hunts to keep herself in shape for the monsters, and anytime anything new came up, Ryan always called Jody to let her know of the monsters. "I'm okay, physically," Ryan stated, being careful not to think about the demon mojo running through her. She had kept that from Jody, despite Sam's pleas to talk to someone else about it. "I'm stronger than I've ever been. I'm more focused, I'm more centered. I'm okay as far as my mental health, too. I mean, you'd think I'd be buckets of crazy again, in all this chaos I've thrust myself into, but I'm not…it's…wonderful. I love all these kids; it is great having them all here. I'm thriving on it. And this thing with Sam, it's terrific…" It really was. Even if Dean had been standing right there, and she had to choose between her happiness, and Sam's, she would give the happiness to Sam. He deserved it so much more than her.

"But…?" Jody prompted.

Ryan blew out another breath. Just because she would give up that happiness, it didn't mean she didn't want it. "I miss him. Sam misses him…it's like there's a giant, Dean-sized hole in our lives and nothing can fill it."

"You could always…" Jody began.

Ryan just looked at her and let out a snort. "I could always…what, Jody? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? March down to hell and profess my love?"

Jody shrugged. "It's an idea."

"He's refused to see Sam, Jody. Sam. If he won't even see his brother, his reason for living and dying and all that other shit, why would he want to see some chick he banged a couple of times?" That was it, wasn't it? That was what scared her. She could admit it, at least to herself. She was terrified of seeing Dean, terrified he would turn her away. She was a selfish bitch, wasn't she? It wasn't that she was afraid he'd be angry about the kids…it was that she was afraid he would turn her down. Turn his back on her love and walk away. It would be worse than him killing her or turning her into a demon, wouldn't it?

Jody eyed her, poured them both another shot and with a little salute to each other, they downed the alcohol. "He needs to know the truth, Ryan," she added as she looked Ryan straight in the eye.

Ryan let out a half hysterical laugh. "Are you kidding me? You're kidding, right? He's a demon, Jody! The motherfucking king demon! I'm supposed to march right in there and tell him…?"

"Gabriel said to tell him when he was dead. I think demonized is kinda dead, don't you?" Jody shot back.

Ryan tried to hold it in, but she couldn't, and the tears began cascading out. "What difference does it make? Sam gets a happily ever after. That was the deal, right? I look after Sammy, take over Dean's place. Sam gets to have a happy ending, and I think, oddly enough, finally, he's getting it."

"And what about you, Ryan? Do you get a happy ending?"

Ryan wiped the tears off her cheeks. "My happy ending died when Dean opened black eyes." She smiled a self-depreciating smile. "I was never going to get one, anyway. It was a pipe dream. I've got a happy enough ending. That's what I got." Wasn't that what she had been telling herself ever since Steven's birth? She had it good. She should count her damn blessings, not curse what she didn't have.

"You could try…" Jody implored, but Ryan interrupted her.

"What, Jody? Just what could I try? It's over. Bam. Done. It's finished and now, so am I." This demon shit was getting worse. It was coming to the end. She was finishing out her days on earth. She knew it. Sam knew it. If this stuff got much worse, they'd have no choice. She couldn't be a monster and destroy the world. She refused. She wouldn't let this prophecy dictate her life. She'd bowed down to one, and even though she wouldn't trade it for the world, she wouldn't be doomed to this one as well. "I don't get a say, I don't get a choice. I made my bed, now I lie in it," she admitted aloud.

Ryan jumped as Jody slammed her hand on the table. "Damn it, this, right here, this is why Sam asked me to talk to you. You fight, Ryan, it's what you do! You always have!"

Ryan wasn't surprised Sam had asked Jody to talk to her. Even if he didn't tell Jody about Ryan's vampire plans, he knew Jody would try to talk her off the damn ledge. The lovable bastard. "I am fighting, Jody! God help me, I'm fighting and hunting and training the kids and being a mother and being a Woman of Letters or Journaler, or whatever-the-fuck we've decided to call it and I'm working my fingers to the bone. All I do is fight."

"But not for him? You won't fight for Dean?"

"Dean's dead," Ryan stated coldly, attempting, somehow, to make herself believe it. "The Dean Winchester I know is long gone. He's dead, Jody. Sure, Cas says he's the same, but I'm not stupid. He wouldn't be torturing demons for centuries on end if he was my Dean."

Jody shot her a look of disgust. "Oh please. Get your head out of your ass, Ryan. That's exactly who he is! You've made him into some Disney Prince! Dean is torturing Raeburn because of you. He knows what that bastard did to you, much better than I do, and I was there when we excised him for a second time. Dean is exacting revenge for you. If that doesn't show love, then I don't know what does." Jody paused the pursed her lips. "I don't see Dean torturing Ruby, and we both know that demon chick screwed over both the brothers. She got Sam hooked on demon blood and managed to trick him into letting Lucifer out of his cage for crying out loud!"

Ryan let out a flat little laugh. It was ludicrous, right? She remembered what Dean's journal had said, but that didn't apply to now, did it? "Come on, Jody, really? Out of all the women he's fucked in his lifetime, I'm the one that's special? Give me one reason why." Why would I be the one to break whatever hold his demon has on him? How could he love me? Demons don't love.

"Because you're you, Ryan. Because it's written in the stars. Because heaven declared it, I don't know how to make it any plainer to see. And if you had a little more faith, you would, too."

Ryan narrowed her eyes and stated bitterly, "I don't have any faith. Not anymore. Not when everything I believed has been turned on its head." It was true. She'd given up. There was nothing good left for her. What she had was it. And it was good enough. It really was. Wasn't it?

Jody grasped Ryan's hand. "You were never destined for a normal life, Ryan, you know that. Now, enjoy your pity party then pick up the pieces."

Ryan downed another shot of whiskey and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand as she stared down into the empty glass. "Yeah, you're right. I've wallowed enough, haven't I?"

Jody let out a snort. "Yeah, you have."

Two more tears rolled down Ryan's face. But it can't be, now, more than ever. I'm on the chopping block, Jody. My time is coming to a close…And that was part of the problem. She wanted him, still. She wanted one more moment with him, one last chance…"We're like that song, you know?" she stated softly.

"Which one, Ryan? I know you convey your emotions through songs a lot, but you'll have to be more specific."

She sighed. It was true. Occasionally she would call Jody or text her with a song, describing how she felt. Occasionally, Jody sent one back. It was cathartic. "I grew up in North Carolina. My daddy was big into country music. There is this one song, by Pam Tillis. It's called 'The River and The Highway'. That's me and Dean."

"What's it about?"

Ryan closed her eyes as she thought. She could almost look back and see how they wove together through their lives. It wasn't a terrible journey. God help her, she would do it again in a minute if she was given her life to live over. Everything. Right up until this moment. Of course, she'd like it to be easier, but if it wasn't, this…she would take this over again. "The river follows the path of least resistance," she all but whispered. "She doesn't care to see the mountain top. She twists and turns with no regard for distance, she never comes to a stop." She bit her lip and looked at Jody. "And the highway, well, he's headed for a single destination. He doesn't care what's standing in his path. He's a line between two points of separation. But he ends just where it says to on the map."

Jody's brows knit. "Okay."

Ryan kept reciting the lyrics; "But every now and then, he offers her a shoulder. And every now and then, she overflows. And every now and then, a bridge crosses over, and they're together for those few moments of bliss."

"Well…that's depressing," Jody commented.

Ryan laughed as new tears poured down her face. "Yeah, well, I'm good with tragedy." She sniffed once, twice, wiped her tear-stained cheeks, then smiled. "Come on. I'm done. We need to get going. We've got a wedding rehearsal dinner to get to."

They both stood and Ryan let the dogs back in. She glanced at Jody. "Is my makeup okay?"

Jody nodded. "You were smart to use waterproof mascara."

Ryan chuckled flatly. "Well, it's a wedding. Women cry at weddings, right?"

Jody just looked at her and didn't comment.

---

Dean POV

Dean blinked in confusion a moment. What the fuck is going on? There was only one way to find out. The blood connection Dean had to Ryan, also worked with Sam since they shared the same blood. It took him no time at all to imagine himself where Sam was. He sucked in a breath. He had to find out what was happening. He couldn't let Sam marry Ryan. Not because Ryan wasn't a great person, not even because he was jealous as all fuck about the two of them hooking up, that was so not the issue. The fact remained, however, if she was still in love with him, she wasn't giving Sam a fair shake.

He found himself outside a fairly fancy looking restaurant. He glanced down at his boots, jeans, and thick shirt over his band tee. Being king of hell hadn't changed his wardrobe, though Bela and Meg had implored him to change his style. Why the hell would he change who he was?

However…he called Meg to him with instructions and she popped up only moments later. "What are you doing, Deano?" she asked.

"Fixing something. Now give me my damn clothes."

She handed over the suit jacket, shirt, dress shoes, and pants. "Dean…whatever you're planning…"

Bela popped up next to them. "Don't do it."

His eyes narrowed. "Who the fuck asked you?"

"Dean…"

"No, both of you, go on. I've got this."

"Dean, don't be a dick," Meg implored.

"Who's being a dick? I'm just…taking care of business."

Bela's eyebrow shot up. "Is that a fact? And it has nothing to do with…" she let her sentence hang as Jody's rental stopped at the valet parking. He swallowed as he saw Ryan's legs emerging from the passenger side. She stood straight, sucked in a breath, and walked in beside Jody.

"You've been hung up on that human chick since before you began running hell," Meg told him.

"I know what I'm doing," Dean growled.

"Uh-huh, sure, you know exactly what you're doing," Meg stated with an eye roll.

"Fuck off, Nutmeg," he growled. He glared at Bela; "You too, Hells Bells. I got this."

"Dean, as your friends, we're…"

He sent Bela a sour look. "You're two are my knights, not my friends."

Bela was silent for only a moment before she slapped his face. It amazed him that she and Meg both used that, to remind him of his humanity, or possibly because they weren't quite as strong as him, to take him down a peg when he was acting like a huge douche-nozzle. Even he could admit to himself that comment was taking it too far.

Apparently Bela agreed as she spat, "You know, the two aren't mutually exclusive. Meg and I are your friends, you utter arse. All I'm saying is maybe you should listen to us on occasion."

He opened his mouth to apologize, but they both disappeared.

He sighed. He could handle this, right? He wouldn't act like a douche, he would just make sure everyone was happy and this was exactly what everyone wanted…right?

---

Ryan POV

"You okay?" Jody asked softly as they walked in.

Ryan felt…different. She wasn't sure why, but she did. She had felt it at the house, too, while she was talking to Jody. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she felt it. Maybe it was just because she had accepted her fate, but she felt it was something else. "Yeah…I'm fine."

"You look pale."

Ryan pinched both of her cheeks and color bloomed there. "Better?"

"Booze. You need a little more booze."

"Why? Planning on getting me drunk and having your wicked way with me? I'm pretty sure all those lesbian stories about us died down when I moved away. With a man."

Jody's voice was dripping with sarcastic pleading as she said, "But…I wanted to make them a reality, just once."

Ryan rolled her eyes as they bypassed the hostess and hurried to the elevator. The wedding party was downstairs in the huge ballroom. When Sam and Andrea agreed to have a small wedding, they decided to invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner as well, though it was usually reserved for only members of the wedding party and family. This, tonight, was no small affair. Almost everyone they loved and cared for was there. Garth and his pack. Charlie and Claire, who were hot and heavy, Cas and Tory, naturally, Annie and Bo and the baby, who wasn't so little anymore, Kevin and Mrs. Tran, who they were seeing more and more of as they began researching together as Journalers. Journaler. That was a new name for the M.O.L. recently crafted by Charlie, who had grown sick and tired of being called a W.O.L. because she said it sounded stupid. Anyone that meant anything to them was there. Except one. Ryan took another stuttering breath as the elevator doors opened.

"Slow, deep breaths," Jody reminded her as she grabbed Ryan's hand and squeezed it.

Ryan smiled softly. "I've got more friends than I ever thought I would, but only one big sister, Jod."

Jody smiled as well and hugged Ryan tightly. "Love ya, girl."

"Love you, too," Ryan replied.

"Hey! There you are!" Krissy shouted from a door down the hall. "The party's in here."

Jody and Ryan followed her and separated as Ryan went to go check on the boys. "Mom? You okay?" Hope asked as she approached.

Ryan nodded. "I'm fine, angel face. Why?"

Hope's head cocked to the side and her eyes narrowed slightly. Ryan shot her a look. "You look like Cas when you do that."

Hope's eyes narrowed more, blowing off the comment as she stated, "You've been crying."

"It's a wedding. I'm emotional."

"No. There's more…"

"Hope," Ryan warned. "Drop it."

"For now," Hope amended.

Ryan inclined her head. "For now."

---

Dean POV

Dean walked to the gas station next door, changed clothes, then walked back to the restaurant. He strode up to the pretty blonde hostess and she smiled at him. "Reservation?"

"Winchester Party," he said smoothly.

She grinned. "They are in the big party room downstairs. Shall I show you…?"

He smirked and shook his head. "Nah, I got this, sweetheart. I can find it. Thanks though." He slipped some money in the discreet tip jar on her hostess podium and walked in, now following the scent of Ryan's honeysuckle fragrance. It had taken him a while to figure out, it was her natural smell, not a body wash or a shampoo, it was just her essence. He closed his eyes a moment in the elevator, taking it in. Sure, he smelled other smells, too. He could faintly grasp Sam's musky smell, Jody's spicy scent, and a few others he recognized, but couldn't quite identify. Just as the elevator dinged, it occurred to him how utterly fucked up and ridiculous this was. Then it was done, and the door opened.

There was no one out in the hallway, which he wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He was…he was nervous. A demon shouldn't be nervous. The king demon shouldn't be nervous, should he? But that was exactly what he was. He hadn't seen his brother in forever, and now on the eve of Sam's wedding, he was showing up? That was a dick move if he'd ever seen one. This was a mistake, this was wrong. He shouldn't fuck with their lives, he should let them…

"Dean?"

He closed his eyes at his brother's voice. Fuck!

---

Ryan POV

Ryan walked over to where Andy was sitting with Steven and plopped down next to her.

"Everything good?"

Ryan nodded. "Yep. Now, as the maid of honor, I believe it is my duty to spoil your child so you can enjoy your evening with your fiancé."

Andy's brows knit. "Huh?"

Ryan looked at Andy with a sour expression. "Give me the kid before I stab you in the neck."

Andy moved fast and had Ryan's neck in her hand almost before Ryan could blink. "What do you say?"

"Please?" Ryan asked with a giggle.

Andy chuckled and handed the sleeping bundle to Ryan. "Feel better?"

Ryan looked down at the sweet face of her nephew and smiled. "Immensely." She toyed with his fingers and his little fist unraveled before it wrapped around her finger. "I remember my kids like this. Oh, Andy, the things you guys will do, the memories you'll have…"

"It's because of you, Ryan. You know that, right?"

Ryan smiled. "Yeah, I know. I'll remind you of that from time to time…"

"Bitch," Andy muttered with a giggle.

Just then, Meg appeared before her. "Ryan, I don't have a lot of time…"

Ryan blinked and handed the baby back to Andy as she stood. "Meg? What's up?"

"Dean."

Ryan felt her stomach bottom out. "What?" she croaked.

"Dean. I don't know what he heard, but he overheard something. And he's coming here. Now."

She grabbed onto the table for support. "N-Now?"

Meg nodded. "I'm sorry. If I had known…I didn't know he was coming topside."

"What could he have overheard?" Andy asked as she sat the baby in his carrier.

Ryan paled further as she realized; he could have heard some of her conversation with Jody. But, what in the hell did he hear? How much of it? What did he know? "Sam?" She turned to Andy. "Andy, where is Sam?"

"He went to grab Steven's blanket out of the car. He should have been back by now, so I just sent Kevin out to find him…"

Ryan moved toward the door and Meg grasped her arm. "Wait. Just a moment."

"For…?"

Meg smiled. "He's out there. They're talking."

"Sam and Dean?"

Meg nodded and Ryan blew out a breath. "Holy fucking shit. This is…this is happening, isn't it?"

Meg smirked. "Looks like."

Ryan glanced over at Andy, who smiled. "Go on. You should talk to him."

"And say what, Andy?" Ryan asked softly.

"Whatever needs to be said. I kept my mouth shut because it was between you and Sam, but Ryan, Sam really wanted Dean here. He agreed with you only because he didn't want you to be uncomfortable."

Ryan let out a sob. Sam was such a sweet, sensitive son of a bitch. "That sounds like the Sam we know and love."

"So, go out there and do whatever you've got to do to convince Dean to stay. I'll let everyone know…"

Ryan bit her lip. Now? I'm seeing him now?! She sucked in a breath, squared her shoulders, and walked toward the door.

---

Dean POV

"Dean? Is it…is it really you?"

Dean opened his eyes. "Heya, Sammy."

"Dean? Oh my God…it really is you." Sam's long strides ate the distance between them quickly and Dean found himself in his first embrace in longer than he could remember. It was effortless to wrap his arms around his little brother.

"Sammy…"

"Dean…I…not that I'm not glad, but, what are you doing here?"

Dean had almost forgotten in that instance why he was here. The emotions were bubbling within him at the sight of his brother. Then it hit him. "Dude, you're getting married."

Sam grinned. "Yeah. That's not all, but it can wait. I just…man, I can't…you're here, like, really here."

"Hey, Sam, Andy wants to know…Dean?"

Dean's brow furrowed as he looked at the person approaching. "Kevin?"

Kevin Tran smiled. "Dean!"

"Kevin? H-how? What did…what's going on?"

Sam smiled. "Turns out we've got a powerful angel in our pocket and we didn't even know it."

Dean looked at his brother in confusion. "What do you mean? All the archangels are dead or imprisoned. They're the only ones that can return a cremated body back to human and stuff their souls back in, right?"

"Not exactly."

"Cas did this?"

Sam shook his head. "Dude, a lot has happened in six years."

Holy shit…"Six…? Six years? It's been Six years since I died?" What the…six fucking years?!

"Today," Sam added softly. "It's six years to the day, Dean." His brows furrowed. "How long did you think it had been?"

Dean shrugged. He honestly hadn't given it a lot of thought. "I dunno…two? Three? Time runs different in hell."

"I remember," Sam stated coolly.

"Sam, I hate to interrupt, because it looks like you and Dean need to talk. Andy wondered where you were. I guess now I have my answer…"

Sam grinned and then frowned. "Andy. Shit…"

Kevin smirked. "I'll tell her. I think you've got some 'splainin' to do."

"Kevin…you okay?" Dean asked quietly.

Kevin nodded. "Yeah, Dean. I'm great. No more prophet crap, either. I'm just me, only…alive, so, you know, that's good…"

"What are you doing?"

Kevin pulled down the collar of his shirt to show off an Aquarian star. "I'm a full time Man of Letters, or rather, Journaler, now, working with Sam and Ryan and Charlie and a few new friends…"

"That's…that's great."

Kevin walked back to him and hugged him. "I'm glad to see you, Dean. Cas told me how you tried to get me back before. It means a lot."

Dean cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the storm of emotions that were now floating through him. He hadn't felt in years, decades, centuries. It was now a bit overwhelming. He hugged Kevin as well, and then the smaller man stepped back before he turned to head back into the room down the hall. The two brothers watched Kevin walk away and disappear.

"So…" Sam began.

"So…"

"What are you doing here, man? Not that I mind it one bit, but…"

Dean sighed. He hated to do this. He really did. He knew he was a fucking monster, but this… "Sam…I gotta tell ya something, man, something I overheard."

Sam paled. "God. What now? Please don't tell me it's bad news. I can't handle bad news, Dean. I've gone a while now on this good streak…"

"Sam…"

Sam sat wearily down on some little girly couch and Dean followed suit. "What, Dean? Just spit it out. I haven't made any deals, but let me guess, you're coming to collect on something, someone, right?"

"No! It has nothing to do with Hell. With me, however…"

"What, Dean? Spit it the fuck out. Quit stringing me along."

"Your fiancée…"

"Dude, don't even…"

"She doesn't love you, Sam! She loves me!"

Sam blinked once, twice, then he started laughing. He laughed long and hard and Dean's brows knit. "Sam?"

"Ah, Dean, thanks, man, I needed that laugh. Between the hunters and the monsters and the Men of Letters shit and this wedding and the baby, I just…I needed that fucking laugh."

"Baby?" What the fuck?

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I just…out of all the damn things I have to worry about, her not loving me is not one of them, Dean. Trust me, Ryan's reminded me of it enough…"

Dean was dying to ask about the baby. Since when can Ryan have kids? What else don't I know? Fuck! The prophecy! Of course, Sam's kid would be the ruler of Hell. Fucking…shit…But there was a bigger matter at hand. Forgetting the kid for a moment, Dean's first instinct was always to protect his little brother. Years, Hell, being a demon, none of it mattered if Sam wasn't safe, it never had. "She might love you, hell, I'm sure she does, but she still holds a candle for me, dude. It's…it's not healthy. Honestly I guess I shoulda seen it coming. I shoulda realized…but when Cas said you'd moved in with her, I just thought…well, it could be platonic, ya know?"

Sam's bitchface made an appearance, and Dean could admit to himself how much he'd missed it. "I'm not a fucking eunuch, Dean. Of course it wasn't platonic! Geez! I figured you could be happy for me for once…"

"Of course I'm happy for you! I've always been happy when you found one damn minute of happiness in this world we're stuck in, Sam! But this…you can't marry her when she loves me, too."

"You keep saying that! She's never even met you, Dean!"

Dean's mouth opened to argue further when what Sam just said penetrated his brain. "What?"

Confusion lit all over Sam's face. "What, what?"

"What did you just say?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "You know, I thought this was because she's related to Ruby 2.0's meatsuit, but really, you're just being bitchy about this whole thing. Look, I know you can access demons down there that died with the knife. Meg filled me in on the hierarchy of Hell since you've taken…office. I don't know what the fuck you and Ruby do down there. I don't care, really. But Andrea is not Ruby. Yeah, they look alike, and it freaked me the fuck out when Ryan introduced us, but she isn't Ruby, Dean, and she loves me and I love her and she's the mother of my child, okay? And I'm freaked out enough about being a husband and father. I do not need this shit from you right now, is that too much to ask?"

Sam stood and began walking back down the hall when Dean shot up and grabbed his shoulder. "Sam. Wait. Just…wait. Lemme process this…" He sucked in a breath and blew it out. "Your fiancée…isn't Ryan?"

Sam just glared at him in confusion. "Why would Ryan be my fiancée? She's like a sister to me."

"Sister? She's…she's like a sister?"

Sam smirked. "Dude, forget for one minute my soul's mate is sitting in there. Forget, too, the fact Ryan is still in love with you. But think of it like this; Ryan's like a female version of you in my life. She helped look after me when I didn't know what the hell to do. She took me in, she loved me back to being a person again. She made me see what I could be, who I could be without you. Not that I wanted to be, but I needed to be. It wasn't like you left me with a fucking choice in the matter, and I swear, one day we will talk about how you've abandoned me for the past six years…"

He sucked in a breath through his nose and then blew it out. "Ryan is…she's the best friend I got, Dean. And when I entertained the idea of…" He shook his head. "Ryan's awesome. She's terrific. She's self-sacrificing and gives and gives and gives. Hell, she moved down to Kansas for me, just packed up her house, the kids, sold her business, the whole nine, which was not easy being five months pregnant, but, she did it for me."

"W-What?" Dean's head suddenly began to spin.

"Sam," Ryan's soft voice said as she approached. "I think I need to take it from here."

Dean looked down into Ryan's soft brown eyes "Ryan?"

She looked like her heart was breaking as a tear spilled down her cheek. "Dean."

Her hand traveled up to his cheek and he shut his eyes at the onslaught of emotions that bombarded him. "What is he talking about?" he managed, and he hated to admit how shaky his voice sounded.

"We need to be alone. We can't do this here."

His eyes opened and he knew they were cold as they stared down at her. "Why, Ryan? Why can't we?"

"Because you're going to get loud, I'm going to get loud, you might kill me…"

"Mom?"

Ryan turned and Dean looked over her shoulder at the girl, Hope. Only…she wasn't just a girl, was she? She was a teenager, an older teenager, almost an adult, obviously, but she was more. Dean hissed. "You're an angel?"

Hope smiled as she walked up. "Boo."

"Hope, uh…" Ryan looked at her daughter with a mixture of sadness and something else in her eyes Dean couldn't quite make out.

Hope chuckled. "Don't worry, Mom, I'll make your excuses. Andy will understand why her maid of honor is otherwise occupied."

"Look after the boys?"

Hope rolled her eyes. "Jesse and I have been doing that very thing all evening, Mom. I think we can handle it."

"Jesse?" Dean asked stupidly.

Hope smirked again. "My boyfriend."

"Is he human?" Dean inquired despite himself.

She laughed. "Nope."

"Angel?"

Hope snorted. "Not even close."

"Hope Deanna," Ryan warned.

Hope held up a hand. "Say no more. You gotta tell him your story. I get it." She grabbed Dean's hand and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Go easy on her, Dad," she whispered in his ear before she stepped away and hurried back down the hall.

"Dad?" He glared at her retreating form before his glare turned to the woman standing before him. "Dad?!"

Ryan winced. "Dean, please…not here…"

"They're mine? All of them?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes."

"You lied to me!"

"I had a legitimate reason!"

"Give me one, Ryan!"

"The Winchester Prophesies!" she cried.

He took a step back. "What did you say?"

"There are prophesies, Dean. About you. About your kids. And...they're all true."

"I…" he felt…he didn't know how he felt. Sick? Nauseated? Fucked over? Nope, none of those came close. "What in the actual fuck is going on, Ryan?"

"Can we go somewhere? Alone? Please?"

He hated how broken her voice sounded on the last word. "Hold on," he told her as he grabbed her wrist. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he envisioned them in her kitchen.

She blinked and stepped away from him only to sway on her feet. He grasped her around her waist with both hands this time and murmured, "Let it pass, Ryan. Give it a second. It takes some time to get adjusted to the sensation."

Her hand tightened on his bicep and he refused the thrill than ran through him at the sensation. "This isn't much different than traveling by angel air," she stated. "Neither are much fun."

"Yeah, you have to have some evil or angel in you to appreciate it I guess."

At that, she snorted. "I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Because I have some of both in me, Dean."

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

She looked at something and his eyes traveled to the bottle on the table. "Hell yes," he muttered.

"Have a seat. This will take a while."

He sat and his gaze was wary on her as her shaking hands poured two stout glasses. She downed hers and poured another. "Fuck. I can't believe this. After all this time, now is when you choose to show up. Shit. Andy's going to kill me. Thankfully she isn't bridezilla…"

Dean didn't pound his drink back, instead, he sipped it. "Feeling the need to come clean about some shit, Ryan?"

She sank into her chair and looked at him. "First, show them to me."

His eyes narrowed. He knew what she wanted, and wasn't she just a masochistic shit to want it? "No."

She let out a snort of laughter. "Come on, Dean, it's not like I don't see them in our son…"

He felt a pain somewhere in the vicinity of his heart. "What?"

She shook her head. "No, start at the beginning, right?" She sucked in another breath and began; "New Orleans. That's when Hope was conceived."

"You told me you didn't have the…necessary equipment," he reminded her roughly.

"I didn't. Dean, I swear, I didn't, not until that night."

"What? Sex with me makes you grow a uterus all of a sudden? My magical jizz creates something from nothing?"

She chuckled. "Not exactly. That day, after we had sex the first time, and we fell asleep, I had a dream, only, it wasn't a dream. I was in a white room. It was beautiful, if slightly gaudy, adorned with gold statues and, I don't know, fancy I guess you'd say? Anyway, there was a man there."

"Zachariah," Dean seethed.

She blinked and her brows knit. "No, of course not. What would that douche want with me? No, it wasn't him, but it was an angel. Gabriel."

Dean's jaw ticked. "Gabriel? Of course. Gabriel came to see you."

She nodded. "I won't give you a play by play, but he came to me three times while I slept. He told me he wanted me to be your children's mother and I was already pregnant with Hope. He said he could take her away, make me forget…Dean, I couldn't do it. I knew I was screwing you over the moment I said 'yes' but nothing could make me tell him to leave, to just go screw himself and walk away from her. I had to have her. I had to protect her."

She took another great breath. "I didn't know she was an angel until after Castiel raised you from Hell. She heard it on angel radio. I called Gabriel to me and he examined her, said he'd given her an extra dose of angel grace when he fixed me. I should have known then he was lying, probably did, but I didn't want to face the alternative. She was such a beautiful creature and I loved her so much, it didn't matter, you know? She was mine, she was yours, and I loved her enough for both of us."

"What about Gabriel? Did you see him again?"

She worried her lip. "Here's where it gets kind of sticky…he came to me shortly after that, asked me to do him a favor, to just say yes if he needed me. I told him of course I would, whatever it was, I would do it. I know now, you and Sam don't have a lot of love for the angel, but he'd been nothing short of wonderful to me, so of course I agreed."

"What did he want?"

She looked down at her hands as she wrung them. "His grace came to me, like a wisp, murmuring to me, begging entrance."

"YOU LET HIM POSSESS YOU?!"

She cringed at his outburst. "Yes."

"What in the actual fuck, Ryan? Why the hell would you let that dick with wings anywhere near you?! To be possessed?! By an ARCHANGEL?! Are you INSANE?!" He was furious and all but foaming at the mouth. He sucked in a breath through his nose to calm down when a thought occurred to him. "Why didn't it kill you?" he asked, a little softer.

She sighed. "I didn't realize it at the time, but it has to do with vessels. You're Michael's true vessel, right?"

"Yeah, or at least, I was. I don't know what I am now that I'm a demon. Sam was Lucifer's."

She nodded. "It comes down through the bloodlines, right?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

She sighed. "Did you know my mother's side of the family is originally from Norway?"

He just stared at her.

"Loki is a Norse God, Dean."

He blinked as all the puzzle pieces fit into place. "YOU are Gabriel's true vessel?"

She shrugged. "Not exactly, slow your roll. I am, however, of the lineage. I let him ride piggyback for a little while until he found his next vessel."

"Which was?"

She stared at him pointedly. "I know you're an intelligent man, Dean Winchester. Think about it a moment."

He ticked off the years and months on his fingers as he thought, adding up the time from when Gabriel supposedly died. She was the lineage, he needed a vessel… "Bobby? Your Bobby is Gabriel?"

She nodded solemnly. "I didn't know, not until after you…became what you are and Cas showed up on my doorstep. Hope already knew who she was and didn't tell me. She knew about Gabriel, too. Cas had to explain all of it to me. He could sense Gabriel in Bobby immediately."

"But…they're vessels. What about the kid's souls?"

"They don't have any, not per se. They are angels in empty human vessels. They entered their vessels as soon as the cells were formed."

"But…Hope…is that her true vessel? Won't she like, burn out?" He remembered something about that guy Lucifer was possessing not lasting.

She shook her head with a smile. "With my lineage, and Michael's from your dad, and Lucifer's from your mom, our kids are the crème de la crème of vessels. If it hadn't been Hope, it could have been any angel. She's…universal, I guess you'd say. She's fine, trust me."

"Wait…" All that was fascinating, but a thought was making its way to the forefront of his mind and he was feeling nauseated again. "You mean…Gabriel was possessing you when we…when you…when I…"

She rolled her eyes. "You can say the word 'fucked', Dean. When we fucked. When we had sex, Gabriel was in me, yes. He was lying dormant within me, though. He wasn't actually me during that time. He…shut his eyes, for lack of a better word. And it was only that first time. As soon as your super sperm hit my egg, he bounced."

"You took the cure, you were bitten by vampires. You were half crazed…"

She nodded. "Yeah, about that. Something else I didn't know, when a demon possesses someone, it leaves part of the evil within them behind. Same thing with an angel. I had demon and angel juice in me, just a hint of each, in any case. It was warring with the vampire side of things. I was…I couldn't keep up with it and I was crazed."

"But Bobby, Gabriel, whoever, he's okay after being subjected to vampire juice?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly. He's an angel, Gabriel is definitely in there, but his body, his…vessel, is also part vampire. A true hybrid. No one knows what to think about him. That's the reason Andrea stayed in the first place…she's tutored the boys all through school thus far. She's taught them up to this point and will continue to do so. They aren't normal kids, Dean."

"The little one, the one I haven't met…Jon. He's a demon, isn't he?"

She nodded again. "A cambion, but much…worse? Better? I don't know. He is similar to Jesse, but…not. We aren't sure why. We are assuming it's to do with your Mark of Cain that turned him. He accidentally fell out of a tree not long ago, snapped his neck, and it killed him. He woke up a little while later. But he's had the black eyes since almost birth. So, he's more demon than human…" she trailed off and smiled as she obviously thought of her youngest son. "But he's a great kid. He's a real sweetheart, both the boys are."

He wanted to know more about this boy, the boy who would, most definitely be king, but he needed to find out more about his daughter. "Hope is an angel, but…what else?" He could sense she was stronger than the vibes Cas gave off.

Ryan's smile grew. "Picked up on that, did you? You're right. She's no ordinary angel. She is the virtue, Hope. They had powers quite similar to archangels. She fell when Gabriel did. They were best friends for centuries. She was in witness protection like Gabriel."

"Who was she?"

"She was the former God, Dionysus."

He knew enough about mythology to know the name. "You're shitting me."

She shook her head. "Nope, I'm afraid not. Once she arrived on earth, she took on the vessel of Dionysus, the unborn son of Zeus and Semele, and was born into the world as Zeus' immortal child, the god of fertility and wine. In Dionysus' body, she brought joy and divine ecstasy, but also brutal, unthinking rage. But she had a big heart and felt sorry for her vessel's mortal mother, so she went to fight Thanatos in the underworld to bring Semele back to Mount Olympus. At least, that's the abridged version."

"Dionysus was a dude."

Ryan laughed. "Yeah? Well? Factors like male and female mean nothing to angels, Dean. One body is just as good as another. Hope did say she enjoys being a female better, though, so that's good, I guess…"

They sat there in silence a few moments while he absorbed everything. Finally, he said, "There are prophesies about you, about this, in Hell, Ryan."

She nodded. "I know. Cas has done quite a bit of research. Meg came to him and told him what you found out from Raeburn. I went and visited Lucifer, and dug up more."

She WHAT?! "You…you went to hell and visited the fucking cage?"

She nodded. "Yes. I did. And don't bother berating me for it. I already got an earful from Sam about it."

"And no one thought to tell me any of this?!" he shouted.

She swallowed. "We had to know, Dean! We had to know it would turn out alright! We couldn't just send Jon to apprentice under you! He's a child for fuck's sake! He needs to know what it's like to be human! Why else do you think we went to find Jesse in the first place?"

"Jesse. That's the kid me and Sam saved. The antichrist."

"He's a cambion," she replied scathingly, making him realize she cared for the boy. She was protecting him, even from Dean's words. "Jesse is part human and part demon, just like your son!" she shouted, looking a bit like a demon, herself, as she raged. "He's a hell of a lot less evil than you are, Dean, especially since Lucifer's locked in the cage. Jon's powers are much stronger than Jesse's because he gets his power from you!"

Dean had never liked people shouting at him, he'd gotten it enough from his father, so it put his back up and he growled as his eyes flickered black in irritation at her. Since he'd become the king of Hell, only two people were allowed to yell at him, and they only did it when he needed to see reason, which wasn't often.

He realized what color his eyes were immediately, but to his surprise, she didn't shriek or back up or become terrified, none of that. "Don't," he said roughly as he looked away and closed his eyes, willing them to return human again. "Don't look at me, Ryan. I'm…I'm the thing you're most afraid of."

"You're right," she managed softly.

They sat in awkward silence a moment and to his surprise, there was no fear in her voice as she inquired, "Why do you have Raeburn as your personal chew toy?"

"What? I need something to keep me from going on a homicidal rampage, isn't it obvious?"

She shook her head. "No, you don't. You can even handle having the blade with you now. I know. Cas tells me everything."

That admission didn't surprise him in the least, and he would be having words with the angel for lying to him this whole damn time. "I could have called that damn blade to me long before I did. Him taking it…it didn't do a damn bit of good. I could have had it if I needed it."

"But you chose to let him keep up with it." She paused. "It sat in the bunker in a glass case. I looked at it almost every day I worked in there. Once, when I was lonely for you, I got it out and touched it, just to imagine I was feeling you."

"Damn it, Ryan…"

"When I was pregnant with Jon," she started and closed her eyes before she cleared her throat. "When I was pregnant with him," she continued, "I touched the blade. It sent a spark of electricity through me. He was born because the power traveled from it through me, into him."

"Ryan…" he couldn't hear about this. The betrayal was too fresh, the hurt too sweet. Three times, she had been pregnant with his kid, and three times, he'd been unaware of it. Didn't she realize what that did to him? He might have been a demon now, but he still had feelings. Now, maybe more than ever.

"I know this doesn't excuse anything, Dean, but, I love you. I've loved you from the moment I met you. You can either accept that or not," her voice was bitter as she added, "I don't give a shit."

How can she say that to me, now of all the times to admit it? Not when she's just cut me to the fucking bone and I'm a damn demon? "You loved me so much, you lied to me for our whole relationship?"

She looked at him a moment and laughed coldly. "Our relationship? Oh, go fuck yourself, Dean! We haven't had a relationship! We've gotten together and fucked and you've knocked me up! How is that a damn relationship?"

"What do you want? A fucking medal for fucking me over? Sorry, peaches, I'm all out."

She balled her fist and moved to deck him, but he grabbed her closed hand. "I'm stronger than you, Ryan. You seem to be forgetting, I'm not a person, not anymore. I'm a fucking demon!"

"Yeah? Well so is our son!"

He dropped her hand as if it had burned him and she sat back in her seat once more.

They stared at one another for a moment, neither wanting to be the first to look away. "Let me see them," she implored again. "Please?"

He concentrated and his eyes flickered to black. "See what I am, Ryan? See what I've become?"

She leaned over until she could touch him, her hand going to his cheek again. "I see you, Dean Winchester," she said, and her voice was filled with the awe he too, felt. "I see you. Just you with black eyes instead of the Jolly Rancher Green I love so much."

He flicked them back to his human state. "I'm a monster, Ryan."

"Who isn't? Even the angels are monsters. None of us are good. None of us are perfect. None of us are anything other than just exactly what we are."

"What do you want from me?" he asked finally.

She looked at him and her expression was half exasperation, half pity. "Nothing. I've never wanted anything from you, Dean. I can't fight how I feel, I don't want to."

"Where does that leave us, Ryan?"

She shrugged as she sat back again. "I don't know. Where do you want it to leave us?"

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? He didn't know the answer to that. "Jon…he's the boy king, isn't he? The true king of hell?"

She worried that lip again and it was driving him crazy. He was fluctuating between being so pissed off he could murder someone, to so fucking turned on, he just wanted to bend her over the damn table and he couldn't quite figure out why.

She then nodded, getting his attention back to her words as she stated, "Cas is certain. When Jon's old enough, he is to take The Mark from you and rule hell. Hope will take over with the panel of angels and rule heaven. And Bobby, well, he's part vampire, part human, part angel. He will rule purgatory…which is a story for another day." She paused and sucked in a breath. "That only leaves earth and it has its hunters to protect it."

"Who?"

She smiled softly. "The second generation. Krissy, Sam's kid, Claire, Ben…"

"Ben? My Ben? Ben Braedon?"

She nodded and grasped his hand. "I got a call a few years ago on one of your phones. Sam keeps one, I keep the other. There was a…an accident. Lisa died on route to the hospital. Ben…he was fine, but you were listed as his next of kin."

"I don't…he doesn't remember…"

She smiled sadly. "Cas only wiped their memories temporarily. They came trickling back to them. They knew, both of them did."

"I…he's mine, isn't he?"

She nodded yet again. "One hundred percent human, but most definitely half Winchester. Lisa had a DNA test done. Ben knew the truth when I went for him. But him being your son, it fulfilled the last part of the prophecy."

"You keep talking about the prophecy. I know what the one in Hell says. What does the one in Heaven say?"

She took a breath and recited, "He who is the righteous man will bear fruit, and thus the balance will be restored, one to Heaven, one to Hell, one to Purgatory, and one to the Earth. This shall bring about the balance between the plains. And then the man, who was dealt many blows, shall finally find peace."

"Peace? What does that mean?"

She smiled. "It means, once Jon takes The Mark of Cain from you, Cas will turn you back into a human. You can die a human's death and you can finally be free."

"Will I die right away, or…?"

She shook her head. "I think you'll just finally grow old, Dean. Or maybe you'll die. I don't know. If you go back to hunting, probably some monster will kill you in the end. But you'll be free. No takebacks, no comebacks, just…freedom from a life you didn't want."

"It sounds too good to be true."

She shrugged. "It isn't without its hardships, sweetie. Life is a bitch."

"So…no catch?"

She shot him a look. "You're already the King of Hell. You're a demon, Dean. Isn't that catch enough? And you'll have to be until you hand over the reins."

Silence reigned again as his mind raced. "This is a lot to process."

She snorted. "Ya think?"

He chuckled. "Are you alright?" He wasn't sure why he was asking. He should hate her on principle for lying to him from almost the beginning. Why wasn't he more pissed off at her?

She thought a moment. "Yeah, I am." She paused, and when she spoke again, he hated hearing the tears in her voice. "I'm sorry I kept this from you, Dean. When Gabriel first approached me, I knew I was doing wrong, knew I was doing you wrong, but…I knew it had to be me. I had to do this. It was a chance for my life to count for something."

Again, he knew he should be pissed at her. He had every damn right to be pissed at her. But all he could think of was that last sentence. All he wanted to do was comfort her. Why? She was the one that betrayed him! But he couldn't help himself as he grasped both her hands in his and said, "Your life has always counted for something, Ryan," he told her. "You never saw your own worth, but I did. That night, in your apartment, at college…I meant everything I said and did."

She smiled softly as she flipped her hands under his and squeezed his as tightly as she could. A tear tracked down her face. "I know you did, Dean. And I have lied about this, I know, but I swear to you, I didn't do it out of malice. I truly thought I was doing the right thing. I still do. Gabriel gave me three rules. One, I had to teach the kids to hunt, and they had to know about the supernatural, which was a given. Two, I had to be with you, only you, and three, I couldn't tell you. It was almost a deal breaker. I knew I couldn't be with another man besides you, no matter what, that one was a no brainer. I guess Sam or Cas is the closest I've been to a man, and I love them like brothers, both of them, but it isn't the same…there is no desire there, not like with you."

She licked her lips and her eyes lit to his. "I wanted to come to you, to tell you the truth before now."

He let that sink in before he whispered bitterly, "Why didn't you?"

"It wasn't the right time, I guess. And too, I was scared."

"Of me?"

"Honestly?"

"I think we're past the point for more lies, don't you?"

She paused a moment. "For a while there, yes. I knew if I saw you again, I'd still want you and the part of me that was terrified of demons couldn't fathom the fact that you'd become one."

He winced and she must have noticed it because she continued, "It wouldn't have stopped me, Dean. I still wanted you. It was tough for me and Sam, you have to see that. You were a monster. Whatever Sam saw in that warehouse screwed with his head. Royally. He had PTSD for months afterward and that didn't help me any. I had nightmares about you," she admitted quietly.

"I'm sorry," he began softly.

She shook her head and licked her lips again. "No, don't be. I…I had a run-in with a djinn. It was a hybrid. It made your dreams come true and then turned them into your worst nightmare. I dreamed of you. We were together, fighting a monster, having some of the best sex ever, and then…" she bit her lip as the tears rolled a little harder down her face. "And then, the dream changed."

"Ryan…"

She shook her head and she sucked in a stuttering breath. "No. I…I need you to know. The things you did to me, the dream you…it was the worst thing I've ever experienced. And you know I've experienced a lot. It fucked me up, Dean. I realized it was all a dream, but it messed with me for a while. It was when Meg came back up and told me you were torturing Raeburn that I was ready to let it go and realize you weren't like that."

"Meg?"

She nodded. "Meg's…well, she's a friend, I guess you'd say."

He let out a snort. "My own damn knight is conspiring against me."

Ryan smiled at that. "Well, in her defense, she's looking after your son's best interests, including protecting me. She's awesome, Dean."

"She's a demon."

"So are you."

He shrugged at that. There was no escaping that particular truth.

"But that was a turning point for me, Dean. I knew you wouldn't torture Raeburn for grins and giggles. You did it for me. I know it. That helped. Then, later, much later, I found your journal. Your real one."

He flinched. There was some private shit in there. "Did you show it to anyone?"

She shook her head adamantly. "No. It's mine. I haven't told anyone and I haven't shared it. It's…It's like my security blanket. I take it with me and I pull it out and I read about how you used to love me and it gives me strength."

Used to? Try still do. He blinked. Holy shit…

"So, you want to know more about the kids, right?" she asked, bringing him partially out of his revelation, but he couldn't quite concentrate on her, not just yet.

I still love her? Do I? Can I? He focused on her earnest face and nodded. Kids. Focus on one thing at a time, Winchester.

She smiled. "Well, Hope is an angel. She's pretty damn powerful, not as powerful as Gabriel, but she's stronger at the moment simply because he's still a child. She's not at one hundred percent power right now though."

His interest in his kids quickly won out of his desire to figure out what the fuck he was feeling for Ryan at the moment. He'd get back to that. "When she is, will she go upstairs forever?"

She shook her head. "She's supposed to. But I have the feeling she'll be popping down here quite often. She's a Winchester first. The family business always comes first, right after the family. Everything else takes a backseat. It's the way we work."

He was amazed. They had it all figured out. Where was there room for him?

As if she sensed his thoughts, she stood and moved to sit in his lap, surprising him with her forwardness. "You'd be a great father, Dean, demon or not. Ben is always telling stories about you to the little ones. Hope remembers Sioux Falls and how wonderful you were that day and shares it, too."

He couldn't do that, could he? He was a monster, one of the worst kinds of monsters. "I'm not good, Ryan," he told her. "I never have been."

She ran her hands through his hair and tugged on his ear. "None of us are," she reminded him. "Not one."

"Yeah, but…this is a whole other level of bad," he added.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his forehead. "You might be bad, but you fight for good. That's what Jesse's doing. That's what I'm teaching Jon. Seems like you'd be the perfect role model for them."

"Ryan, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing," he admitted.

She smiled. "Well, that sounds like me. You think I knew shit about being a mother? It's called a learning curve, Dean."

He pondered that a moment and didn't realized she had shifted on his lap until her lips were on his ear. "You can be whatever you set your mind to, sweetheart," she purred. "You know that."

"You are the best woman I've ever met, Ryan. Why is that? What is it about you?"

She leaned back to look him in the eye. "Well, our children played matchmaker before they were created, so, there is that…plus they got a rogue cupid to make the deal a bit sweeter…"

"What are you…?"

"Soul mates, Dean. We are soul mates."

His brows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

She shrugged demurely. "Whatever you want it to." She smiled sweetly. "I mean, we could deny this attraction we have for one another, if that would make it easier."

Her grin grew as she moved closer once more. He could almost taste her breath as it puffed on his face. It smelled like whiskey and Ryan and he was a man dying of thirst. But he couldn't, not until he made her understand. "Look, I wanna be completely honest with you, okay?" he managed.

She leaned back just slightly, but he could still feel her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He had to focus on his words instead of her fingers toying with his hair. It was quite distracting. "So, I'm not good. We've established that."

She nodded and when she didn't comment, he continued, "So, I'm not good, and I've…well, I know it's been a busy few centuries down in hell, but I found time for sex, you feel me?"

She nodded and smiled as her tongue snaked out to lick her lower lip.

Fuck. I wanna bite that lip. He couldn't quite hold in the little whine of desire that flared in him. "Damn it, Ryan, I've fucked my way through half the demon chicks under me, except for Bela and Meg…I mean, Bela and I hooked up before, and that's a whole other fucked up discussion we need to have, but, not since she's been my knight, and…"

Her finger moved to his lips, silencing him. "Shut up, Dean."

"It was sex," he clarified as he removed her hand from his mouth, forcing her hand into her lap. He couldn't help but realize her skirt had ridden up slightly, showing off miles of that milky white skin of hers. He attempted, once more, to focus. "It was a lot of sex. A lot of sex, Ryan. But…nothing meant anything. Not since you. Sex doesn't mean anything to me, not like it did when I was with you."

He was quiet a moment as the realization dawned. It was her. It always was, wasn't it? It always had been. He could be mad about the cupid thing, about Gabriel, about this destiny and prophecy crap, but why bother when what he felt, or used to feel, was right here in his damn lap, waiting for him to make a fucking move? He was a monster, the king monster, but still, in all of this, he'd managed to find something worth keeping, find something worth fighting for.

He licked his lips as his gaze focused on her again. "I don't know why it took me losing my life and being down in hell to see it, but the damn writing was on the wall from the get-go, wasn't it? I've loved you ever since our first kiss when we were eleven. I didn't know it, didn't realize it, until it was too late. I tried. Man, did I try to pretend I didn't. When I walked away from you at college, I knew I was making a mistake. When I woke up alone that morning in New Orleans, when I walked out on you after giving you the vampire cure, and even in Sioux Falls, I knew I shouldn't have walked away. I am not the same as I was, and truthfully, I don't know if I'm really capable of love right now, but I know I did love you, Ryan Fawcett. I always did. And for what it's worth, I'd like to try to learn how to again. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to figure it out."

She gasped. The declaration hung in the air only a moment before she cleared her throat. "Well, in your defense, you have been busy what with the dying and the running Hell and all that other shit," she murmured. She sucked that lower lip into her mouth. Really? Do women just do that to fuck with men's heads? Then her mouth was moving again as she asked, "But, Dean, do you mean it? Really?"

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I mean it, Ryan. I have always loved you. I'm just really shitty at showing love, okay? And, hey, demon, King of Hell here, so, I'm not too sure I'll be any good at it anyway, but I'd like the chance, if you'd let me." It was all at once too easy, and at the same time, absolutely perfect. He'd never experienced anything like it in his life, demon or human. Why was that? Was this that bitch, Fate, screwing with them? Or was this something really good? Could he just sack up and let it happen this time? Let happiness find him for once in his miserable life? And did it really matter either way? He damn sure couldn't walk away now if his life, any of his lives, depended on it.

"I would be honored," she purred as she moved to close the distance between them.

Her lips tasted like honey and he moaned as he plundered her mouth. Her hands were all over him, feeling every inch of him she could find over his jacket and he wrenched it off before he stood, holding her in his arms as he walked her over to the countertop. "Need you," he growled. "Say the word if you wanna stop."

"If you fucking stop, I'm going to grab the demon shackles from the trunk of my car," she groaned.

He leaned back and his eyebrow popped up. "We're already at the joking stage of this situation?"

She smirked and began unbuttoning his shirt as she looked him in the eye. "If you don't laugh, then you aren't doing it right."

"I'm not entirely sure…" he began, but then her hand snaked into the front of his pants and he moaned before his mouth sank to hers for another kiss.

They made out for a few moments when it occurred to him…they could take this to a bed, if they wanted. And honestly, she deserved to be treated better than a quick fuck. He pulled away and he loved seeing the disappointment in her eyes. "What?" she panted.

He smiled. "We could take this upstairs…"

She ran her hands around to grab his ass, pulling him closer. He could feel her heat through his clothing as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Or, we could just do this here and now," she breathed.

"Here works," he muttered as he dropped his pants.

She giggled as his mouth dipped to her neck, licking and sucking the juncture with her shoulder and she moaned as her head fell back against the cabinet door. "Fuck," she groaned.

His hands were moving all over her again, massaging the exposed skin of her back. "Since when do you wear clothes like this?" he managed as he bit her shoulder.

"I, ah, shit, Hope picked it out for me."

"Remind me to thank her," he moaned as his lips and tongue continued to taste her delectable skin.

Her hands found purchase in his hair again as she bit his earlobe. "I've become comfortable in my own skin, finally. Scars and all."

"It's hot as hell. And I should know. I rule there."

Her eyes popped open and she looked at him a moment before she burst out laughing. "What am I going to do with you?"

His right hand moved down to cup her through her satin thong. She gasped in surprise as he ripped the seams and tore it from her body, dropping it onto the floor. "Love me?" he pled gently.

"With pleasure," she told him again as she grasped him and guided him where he wanted to be.

"Fuck," he growled as he thrust and was fully sheathed inside her. "Damn it, Ryan…"

"I know," she agreed as her nails dug into his shoulders and her heels dug into his ass.

Their mouths fused and he thrust his tongue in time to his movements and she eagerly took every bit of him he offered.

He pulled away just enough so he could see her eyes. The beautiful honeyed whiskey depths called to him and she smiled softly as her hand traveled to his cheek, rubbing the scruff there. His eyes closed of their own volition as he felt her getting close. "Open them," she commanded. "Let me see."

"No…" When he lost control of his emotions, the black eyes took over, every time. He couldn't help it. The demon chicks got off on it, but he couldn't let her see…

"Do it, Dean. Let me see."

He snarled and his eyes popped black when he opened them and they narrowed. She smirked and fused her lips with his as they came together, their eyes still focused on the others'.

He blew out a breath and sank against her, his head dropping to her shoulder. "You're a masochist, Ryan," he muttered.

Her hand was in his hair again, scratching his scalp. She kissed his ear. "No, I'm not. I just want to see all of you, Dean."

He lifted his head, almost afraid of what he'd find in her eyes. To his surprise, she was looking at him the same as she had only moments before. "You're still you," she murmured.

He snorted. "Just new and improved, huh?"

She giggled. "Something like that." She panted out a breath. "You're the right kind of sinner to release my inner fantasy."

Dean grinned. "Pat Benatar?"

Ryan shrugged as she flipped her now messy mop of curls behind her head. "Hey, at least it wasn't Katy Perry." At his raised eyebrow, she amended; "Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison."

Dean's grin was wicked. "Well, you're already infected if you're with me. And, honey, after what we just did, you're damn sure full of my poison."

Her eyes clouded momentarily.

"What?" he asked in concern.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I'll need to tell you other things, but now…" She glanced at the clock on the stove and winced. "We've got to get cleaned up and back to the party…"

"Why?"

"Because…" just then, her cleavage began…singing? Katy Perry's voice was going on about kissing a girl. He'd have to ask her about that later. "Shit," she growled as she reached into her bra and pulled out her phone. "What?" she barked into it. She paused to listen. He could make out Sam's tinny voice, but even though he could hear it, he didn't want to intrude on her call. "Yeah, I'm still alive. What? Did you really think he was going to kill me?" She winked at him, causing him to grin. Out of everything that she'd told him, all the feelings that ran through him, the urge for homicide hadn't even hit the top ten. Well, it had but the urge to kill her hadn't popped the top ten, in any case.

"Damn it, Sammy," she growled. "Slow your roll. I said I'd be there. Yes. I'll bring Dean." He just looked at her and she shrugged. "No, I'm not going to let him slink off to Hell again." He smirked at that. Well, he had considered it. She grinned at what he was sure was guilt written on his face. She laughed at something Sam said. "Yes, I banged him on the fucking countertop. Happy now?"

Geez, Sam, maybe you and Cas both need lessons on personal space. He was expecting her to be mad, but to his surprise, she laughed again. "Thanks. I feel much better. I'm so glad you're keeping up with my sex life, Sam." She rolled her eyes. "Ew, no, come on. You're so full of shit, it's a wonder your eyes aren't brown."

He wished he would have listened in to that. What had caused her to tell him that? Dean chuckled as he pulled away and snagged a kitchen towel to clean up with before he pulled his pants up. He wasn't sure how to handle Ryan and Sam's…relationship, to be honest. Hell, how was he going to handle any of this? Sure, with Ryan, it was easy, but having everyone looking at him, watching his every move…family…could he do this?

"Sammy, if you don't shut the fuck up now and let me off this damn phone, I'm going to pop your shoulder out of joint. Again. Then you'll be walking around with a damn shoulder brace for your wedding." She smiled. "Yeah, I love you, too, goofball. We'll be there in about fifteen…eh, give me twenty, 'kay?" She paused again. "No. You hold my steak. I'm starving. And if you give Bobby one more piece of chocolate cake, I'm going to make you keep up with him tonight." She grinned again at whatever he said. "Goodbye, Sam," she sing-songed.

She clicked the button on the phone and sighed, dropping her head back against the cabinet again. "You know, I miss the satisfaction of snapping a flip phone closed."

"You…you call him Sammy?" He hated the fact of how much it hurt him. Only he called Sam 'Sammy', even Sam said so, once upon a time.

She lifted her head and sent him a sad smile. "The first time it happened, it was an accident. I hated it the moment it came out of my mouth, seeing the hurt on his face…I apologized, but he shook his head, told me if I'd have been with you, I would probably do it anyway. Said I was his niece and nephew's mom, that I had a right to call him that. I'm the only one, well, outside of Bobby, who calls him 'Uncle Sammy' which I suspect he does just to annoy him." At what he felt sure was a quizzical look, she added, "His memories of being Gabriel are coming back piecemeal."

"Did Hope's?"

She nodded. "Hope's came back very, very slowly, then, after you visited in South Dakota, it was like the floodgates opened and she remembered everything, almost like she needed to know she was a supreme being, just in case. Her powers began coming back much faster after that."

He only had one angel to reference being born human, Anna Milton hadn't remembered her angel life once she had been born human. "Do they both have their angel grace?"

Ryan nodded. "It's different for Hope and Gabriel. They're superior angels to the usual worker bees you've met, including Castiel. Their mojo works differently, even in human vessels that were born."

"Interesting." And it was. The whole thing was fascinating.

She looked at him a moment. "You know, I was just bullshitting Sam. If you aren't ready to handle The Winchesters at large, you can bounce, Dean."

He blinked. For so long, The Winchesters were only him and Sammy. Now, they were the legacy. He had kids for crying out loud. "I…uh…"

She jumped down from the counter and landed lithely on her feet. "Come upstairs. I need to clean up."

He eyed her. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

He smirked. "Because, if I get you in the vicinity of a bed, we're never making it out of here."

She paused a moment, then gave him a wicked smile. "Touché. Give me five. I just need to check my hair, fix my makeup, clean the chassis…"

His smirk grew. "Take your time."

She bit her lip.

"What?" he asked as the smile dropped off his face.

"You will be here when I get back, won't you?"

He chuckled and walked to her. He put an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. In her shoes, she was almost as tall as him. "Ryan, I swear, I won't run out on this."

Her eyes closed as if she were staving off hurt. "Don't make promises, Dean," she whispered. Her eyes opened. "It gets harder from here. This," she said as she gestured between them, "You and me? It's the easy part."

He weighed what he wanted to say next. "Okay, look, I swear, I won't bail on you tonight. I'll be here. I'll go with you to the restaurant. I'll…deal with the scrutiny, I…" he couldn't help the emotion that filled his voice when he said, "I want to meet my kids."

She gave him a look, and it said a million things. Her hand traveled to his cheek again. She nodded softly. "Okay, Dean. Let's let you meet your kids. Everything else will work itself out, alright?"

He nodded then smirked as he smacked her butt. "Now, hurry your ass up, woman."

She chortled. "Don't you know enough not to tell a woman to hurry? She's obligated to take twice as long when presented with that ultimatum."

He smirked. "Nah, you're as eager to get back to those kids as I am."

She snorted. "You don't live with them. I could go take a week long vacation from those little shits and not bat an eye."

He smiled at the love and adoration in her voice. He shrugged. "They're Winchesters. We're pains in the ass. Don't you know that by now?"

She nodded. "Oh yeah, I'm well aware. Be right back…"

He watched her go, admiring her ass in the skirt she was wearing with a raised eyebrow and a smile. He glanced around the entryway and peeked into the front room. It was a combination living room/play room. There was a huge Lego city constructed on the coffee table, and a giant Matchbox cars raceway in the corner with quite a few cars situated around it. Through open French doors, he could make out a dining room with a huge sheet covering the table and chairs and a note in crayon that said "Fort Winchester. All trespassers will be zapped by a demon or an angel." He chuckled, wondering if it was Bobby or Jon that wrote it.

Glancing about, he saw a ton of Batman and Avengers action figures scattered around in the vicinity of an almost empty toy bucket. Of course, all the toys were strewn on the floor around it. He saw more Lego's, more action figures, and a ton of little green army men like he and Sammy used to play with, too.

Turning slightly, he saw a bookshelf filled to the brim with books ranging from occult books that were surely Ryan's, to books about car engines to cartoon dinosaurs. There was a huge TV over the fireplace in the corner, and some kind of game controllers were thrown on the sofa. The house was comfortable, just like her house had been in South Dakota. He walked back out to the foyer and glanced down the hallway that led further into the house. He couldn't help looking at the pictures adorning all the walls. Tons of pictures.

Her, Hope, Bobby, and Jon filled the space, but there were lots with other people in them as well. He zeroed on the one with his kids in it. It looked like a basic family portrait. Hope had her mother's figure, her brown eyes, but her facial features looked like him. Bobby looked identical to Ryan, except he was stocky; lithe, but muscular. His sparkling brownish-hazel eyes spoke nothing but mischief, and Dean wondered if it was because he knew it, but he could have sworn he could almost see Gabriel peeking out of the boy. Then there was Jon. It was no denying Jon was his…he looked identical to pictures of Dean at that age, right down to his bright green eyes and the smirking mischievous look on his face.

He smiled as he moved on to the next picture; one of Ryan, Sam, and the kids at a water park. All of them had on swimsuits and smiles. They were all wet, so clearly, they'd been there a while, and all had tans. How odd, to think of Sam at a water park. They'd not had time for a lot of fun while hunting in the past, but now, with Ryan, she was making Sam take the time. He also saw one of them at Disney World and he was glad to see the happiness on their faces.

He looked at the next picture, one of Hope and Krissy, who was a few years older than his daughter, and wow wasn't that something to realize? He focused on their surroundings in the picture. They were at the bunker shooting range holding up their perfect targets. He smiled. Krissy would have been good for Hope, he imagined, and wondered if they were good friends.

He saw one of Charlie with both of the boys on her lap, sitting in the big chair he'd noticed in the living room, reading what he could only assume was Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit or Harry Potter or something. He could only imagine the stories she came back with from Oz. He was glad to see the picture of her. Apparently she'd survived her adventures and he briefly wondered if she had gone on more, or if she was content hanging out at the bunker as a Woman of Letters.

He moved down the hall and found a picture of him and Ryan. He remembered Ryan taking pictures of that night in South Dakota, and he remembered Sammy taking this one. He scrutinized his face. He could make out how The Mark was already affecting him. He could see the hardness in his eyes, though he was smiling. It had been the beginning of the end, hadn't it?

The picture a few steps down the hall stopped him dead. It was a picture of him, Ben, and Lisa, from the year he'd lived with them. He didn't question where it came from. If Cas only modified their memories for a short time, then he'd have stolen back the box of mementos Dean had gathered from their house. He'd thought he had burned all of it, but apparently Cas was smarter than he gave the angel credit for. He briefly wondered how it made Ryan feel to know he'd been with Lisa, then he chided himself for even thinking it. What difference did it make now, anyway? He knew he should morn her death, but his emotions were too full at the moment to process another damn thing.

A little farther down the hall, he could easily spot a now adult Ben with Hope sitting on the hood of an old Ford Galaxy, both wearing huge smiles, coveralls, and grease stains. He let his finger run along the edge of the picture frame. "How am I going to be able to look you in the eye, man? I failed you, just like I do everything and everyone else…" he was beginning to regret swearing he would stay. He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be doing this, should he?

"Dean? Are you ready?" Ryan called as she walked back down the staircase.

"Yeah," he stated gruffly.

She stopped at the bottom step. "Are you sure? I know the kids want to see you, and that you want to see them, but everyone is there. All of our friends, all of your friends."

"All of my friends are dead," he stated sadly.

She gave him a pitying smile. "Is that what you think? Well, you're wrong. Everyone at that restaurant loves you and misses you."

"Who brought Kevin back?" He wasn't sure why he was asking, but he had his suspicions.

"Hope."

"Her power fluctuates that much?"

She paused. "Yes and no. She brought Kevin back, but it almost killed her. She had been talking about it for months but I hadn't realized she was serious. I hate myself for that. I knew she was impetuous. I should have…" She sighed. "Her and Kris went off and did it without telling me. Those two…thick as thieves and nothing but trouble. I had to ground them both on top of the inquisition she faced in heaven. There are rules now, and one of them is no miracles. She's…basically on probation from upstairs. They're limiting her power."

"How?"

"They've put some kind of sigil on her, burned it into her flesh. It was…it was awful. I didn't like it, and I raised holy hell about it, but what could I do? It's above my pay grade. I'm just her human mother. They took it personally, I suppose. The rules and regulations make it better, but she's rebellious. Apparently she always has been."

At that, he smiled. "Is it wrong that I'm glad she didn't listen?"

She rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't be a Winchester if you didn't see her side of it." She sighed again. "I'm not a monster. Of course, I understood why she did it. Kevin's death was senseless, but still, she had no right…"

"He was stuck in the veil. I assume he didn't make it upstairs yet."

"No, he didn't, but that wasn't the point."

He didn't want to fight about this. Not now. He was glad Hope was Winchester enough to do what she felt was right. In that instant, he felt…pride in his daughter. She was a good person. Angel. Whatever. He looked at Ryan. "You grounded Krissy?"

Ryan shrugged. "Well, the punishment was fitting. They weren't allowed on hunts for a few months. They were stuck doing the grunt work of research for the boys instead. They hated it."

"Krissy listens to you? She wouldn't listen to me."

"She's an adult, but she…we have a mutual respect. She realized it almost killed Hope and she was present while Cas and I argued about Hope's trial in heaven so she knew what went on upstairs. Luckily, the angels realized Kris didn't have anything to do with it other than being there and she had no say over Hope, so they didn't even take her in for questioning. But...she couldn't forgive herself for being a part of all that, so she sort of grounded herself along with Hope."

"So, how does the hunting thing work?"

"Ah, now that is an interesting dynamic." She glanced at her watch and winced. "Come on, I'll tell you in the car."

"I can just…"

She shook her head adamantly. "No, thank you. I don't like traveling by angel or demon air, but I appreciate the gesture."

He chortled. "If you insist."

He noticed she'd put her hair up into a pretty bun, leaving a few strands curling around her ears. "Sorry I messed up your hair," he managed as he fingered the soft curls.

She smiled. "No you're not."

He really wasn't.

Her grin grew. "I don't mind. Besides, I like it up, better, actually."

"I like seeing all the curls down your back," he admitted.

She touched his face again. He loved it when she did that, he always had. "I'll take it back down later, Dean. Promise."

They walked a few steps toward the door where she stopped to open it and his gaze traveled down to her ankles. She, of course, had added Jon to the band around her ankle, but that wasn't all. She had more ink. Six bands wove their way around her ankle now. "What're the new ones," he asked as he squatted down behind her. She turned her ankle so he could see the names; Krissy, Ben, and Jesse were tattooed in bands to match her children's names, along with dates that weren't their birthdates. His gaze traveled to hers.

"The dates they came into my life," she answered softly.

He felt like the Grinch with his heart growing three sizes. He fingered their names before he ran his hand up her calf and up her leg to brush just under her skirt.

She let out a moan as his hand gripped her thigh. "Not that I wouldn't love for you ravage me up against this door, Dean, but I did promise I would come back tonight."

He gave her a crooked grin and moved his hand, letting it skim over her until it traveled to her shoulders once more. She had a new scar. A bullet hole was ripped through the left wing of her tattoo. He touched it tenderly. "What happened?"

She shrugged as she opened the door and they stepped out onto the porch. "Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing I didn't survive."

"You've survived a lot," he commented.

"I could say the same about you," she countered. "Come on, Demon's this way…"

They made their way to the exterior garage and she smiled as she walked in. "Hey, sweetheart, ready to take a ride?" she purred as her hand slid up and over the car's trunk and rear quarter panel.

He chuckled under his breath. "I'm surprised Hope isn't driving this."

She shook her head. "Nope. Hopey has her own car, a 1964 baby blue Ford Galaxy she calls 'Angel' that she's restored."

"She's into cars?" He had seen the picture, but still…

"She wasn't, not really, until Ben showed up. Working on the cars in the bunker was cathartic for him and Hope began pestering him about it until he showed her around under the hood. They fixed up Angel together. Ben bought it for her."

"That's cool," he responded, not sure what to say.

She smiled as she leaned against the car. "It was a good bonding experience for them. She insisted on going with me when I went to pick him up." She paused. "It was a dark time for him, when Lisa died. He was then thrust into this life, and I know you didn't want that for him. It was a hard adjustment for all of us. He was a teenager, almost an adult. He reminded me more often than not that I wasn't his mother."

Dean winced. "Was he mean to you?"

She didn't respond for a moment. "I'm an adult, Dean. Sticks and Stones and all that jazz. We worked through it. He's not mine, but he's mine. I would never want to take Lisa's place, but I think he found room in his heart for me. He and Hope…the two of them hit it off immediately. I'm so glad I listened to her when she asked to go along to get him. I don't think I could have talked him into coming home with me if it hadn't been for her."

"Did…is he mad at me?"

She shook her head. "He gets it. He got it then, truthfully. He wasn't…happy, but he understands now that you did what you thought was best."

"I didn't want him in the life. I kept thinking…I was just nothing more than a weapon. I was just a gun and a mouth."

"You know you're more than that. You were then. You are now."

"Yeah, now I'm King of Hell," he muttered.

She smirked. "Well, you're a dick, too, if it's any consolation."

"Hey."

She giggled, but sobered. "I hope you don't mind, but, well, when it was evident you weren't coming back, the Impala stayed in the bunker's garage for a while. It hurt Sam too much to drive it. He took some of the cars in the bunker for a spin before settling on a 1950 Indian motorcycle. Damn, that thing is gorgeous. I've taken it for a ride or two, and let me tell you, you've not lived until you've felt the power of that bitch between your legs."

He cleared his throat and shifted his now roaring erection as he imagined her on a motorcycle. That was just…almost too much to think about.

"…then, well, when Ben came in the picture, we let him drive it. It's his now. I hope that's okay."

"The motorcycle?" he asked as he attempted to focus on her and what she was saying.

"No. The Impala. We've given Ben the Impala to drive. He and Jesse use her for hunting."

He smiled at that. "Yeah, that's fine. I haven't given the car much thought, actually."

Something passed in her eyes, sadness, he thought, but it was gone quickly. "Yeah, well, Bobby and Jon are pretty adamant they're getting Demon when they start hunting. I suppose I'll have to let them have her. Maybe I'll take Lola."

"Lola?"

She smirked. "The red sex on wheels in the bunker. I don't know, Lola sounded like a good name for her. She's a little small for hunting, but she's beautiful and classy, and, yeah, fucking sex on wheels, as I said."

He chortled. "I was always amazed you knew anything about cars."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know anything about cars. Not like you, Ben, or Hope, anyway. I know nothing more than Bobby Singer taught me. But I know when one is gorgeous. And now that we have Ben and Hope keeping them tuned and in excellent condition, it's nice to have a wide variety of vehicles at our disposal." She smiled. "The little boys are learning about cars, too. They want to be like their older siblings."

"How old are they now?"

She slid behind the wheel. "Bobby's almost nine and Jon is five and a half. But they're both advanced and with Andy tutoring them, they're both doing the same schoolwork."

He slid onto the passenger seat. He knew they'd touched on it, before, but he reiterated, "Is Bobby…uh…I mean…he's Gabriel, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, well, his memories are slowly trickling in, as I said. He remembers some things, but not everything, obviously."

"This whole thing…it's just…"

"Guano?" she provided. "Yeah, tell me about it. Imagine living it for most of your adult life. You get used to it. Eventually." She cranked the engine and it purred to life.

"Wow," Dean muttered. "It's been a while since I've actually been in a car."

She chortled. "Then I suggest you hang on." She tore out of the garage, down the drive, and out into the night.

He sat back and enjoyed the ride. It took him back. The last time he'd rode with her in Demon, they'd been on that vampire case. Which reminded him… "So, Bobby's an angel and a vampire. How does that work?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, he doesn't have fangs, at least, not outside of Purgatory."

"Purgatory? You took him to Purgatory? You've been?"

She nodded. "I've been twice. Bobby…well, he's…it's interesting. He remembered a lot while he was there. Anyway, he's not exhibiting symptoms of vampirism here. He's normal for the most part. Though, I suppose normal is relative. I mean, he and Jon both have powers we have to keep a watch on. Hope's powers didn't manifest quite like Bobby's have, so I guess he's different in that aspect, it's all a crapshoot. The panel upstairs has no idea what to do about the kids, but they meet the requirement for the prophesies, so they're letting them be for now. I was worried when we first found out that upstairs would do something and I'd find myself in some kind of battle, but they listen to Cas, so that's good."

They were quiet for a moment before she said, "So, hunting…you asked about hunting."

He nodded. "Yeah, what's going on with that?"

"Well, first, Sam doesn't hunt much anymore. He's…he's the new Bobby, for lack of a better phrasing."

"He's not calling anyone an idjit, is he?"

She laughed. "No, he's refrained. But he is the top in the field of monster lore. Occasionally, though, a case is too big, or he wants to keep up his skills. In that instance, usually Andy or I go with him."

He remembered seeing them together and his thoughts turned dark. "I saw you, once," he growled.

Her brow knit and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Where?"

"On a job."

She blinked. "Okay."

"You kissed him."

"Sam? I kiss Sam all the time. I'm a touchy-feely person, actually. I probably would have been even more so, my mom always was, had I not been terrified of men, Dean."

"No. I mean, you kissed him."

She was silent a moment as she thought before she gasped. "Nebraska."

"Yeah. What was up with that, Ryan? Did you two…have you slept together?"

She whipped the car to the side of the road so fast, had he been human, he would probably have gotten whiplash. She turned to him and glared. "Excuse me?!" she shouted. "What the fuck, Dean?"

"It's a legitimate question. The two of you have spent almost six years together, Ryan, living together for I'm assuming most of that. I know you two have kissed. What else have you done?"

"I'm not a fucking whore, Dean Winchester! You're still the only man I've ever had sex with, you…you fucking asshole!"

He watched her as she stood from the car and began pacing on the dark, deserted road He, at least, had the common sense to remain silent as he realized how it sounded, what he'd said. He stood, too, and walked around the car to her. "Ryan…"

She shook her head as she completely flipped out, waving her arms around and ignoring him. "Unbelievable. I should have known. You're the one out whoring around with any demon you can stick your dick in, but me? Nooooo…I'm out there doing my fucking job, almost getting killed in the process, raising our fucking kids for fuck's sake, and what do I get? I get called the whore. Fabulous."

"Ryan, I didn't…I mean…I just…"

She stopped in front of him and glared.

He huffed out a breath. "I'm sorry. I don't know what the hell I'm doing here, okay?"

"Really? I had no idea." The venomous sarcasm dripped from her words.

"Look, I was open and honest with you. Do me the same courtesy, please."

Her jaw ticked. "Nebraska. There was a demigoddess who had a thing for adulterous women. She punished them. It was easy to pretend I was cheating on you with your brother, because every touch, every look, every smile I sent his way made me feel like the biggest, dirtiest whore in the land…" she shook her head and when she spoke again, her voice was soft. Sad. "I fucked with his head so bad on that job, Dean. He was just getting his life back in order, you know? We were hitting our stride with everything. Krissy and Ben and Jesse were with us then and our dynamic changed. We'd been sending them hunting, they were all grown, but this case, it took our two most experienced hunters. I went undercover, basically, so did Sam. It took us six weeks on the case. We had to wait for the lunar cycle to be right, had to time everything just perfectly, and in those six weeks, something changed."

At his expression, she shook her head. "No, not for me, don't worry about that. I knew you were it for me, demon or not, but Sam…he got comfortable. He thought…I don't know what he thought. I guess he maybe entertained the notion that I meant what I was saying and doing during that time. We ganked the bitch and he…" she shook her head again. "It wasn't just him," she admitted, causing his eyes to narrow, but he waited for her to finish before he raged.

"I got caught up in it, too. But then…" She blew out a breath. "I hurt his feelings so bad in that motel room..." A tear leaked out onto her cheek. "I didn't mean to, I just didn't know how to stop where it was going, and maybe I took it too far as well. It never occurred to me he would think of me in that way, and I had been trying to deny what I was seeing in him for a long time. I…it was the heat of the moment, I guess." She huffed out a breath. "It wasn't the same after that. He ran away, went off hunting alone for a bit, then, when he came back, everything had changed. It was then, I guess, sometime during his leave, he realized we were like brother and sister. More, probably, but nothing that could develop into anything. And the, miracle of miracles, everything else fell into place."

"Andrea."

She nodded. "He met Andrea."

He knew he wasn't out of the doghouse, and, well, he should have stayed there a bit for his insensitivity, so he hoped changing the subject might help matters. "I just…how did that happen? Andrea?"

She blew out a breath as she slipped back into the car and Dean followed suit. Once he was seated, she put the car in drive and resumed their trip. "Your daughter was the cause of it for the most part."

"So, when she screws up, she's mine?"

Ryan chuckled. "Yes and no. She didn't screw up. She just…took matters into her own hands, which is definitely the Winchester way, isn't it? Sam was too chicken shit to do anything about the attraction between him and Andy, so, Hope did him a solid and got a cupid involved. They were slated to be knocked in the head with an arrow anyway, but then Ruby happened and…" She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, they all but fell into bed together, I had to basically kick his ass when he realized what he'd done, and had to tell him to go for it. He didn't want to, he was scared. Well, hell, I would be too, in his position, but he finally gave in, they started dating. They moved in together, then, well, he finally worked up the courage to ask her to marry him and she blurts out she's pregnant. I wasn't there, but apparently he fainted." She smirked. "Feel free to bust his balls about it. I still do on occasion."

"I just can't believe so much has happened, so many things have changed…"

She shrugged as she made a right hand turn. "Life went on, Dean. It had to, especially for Sam. He didn't want it to, but needed to."

"I'm glad you were there for him," he told her honestly. He'd always looked after his brother. When he'd become this…thing, he had to pass that care on to Cas. He should have known Cas would take care of Sam for him. And he had, by passing Sam on to Ryan.

"It was all thanks to Hope. She called Castiel to her, told him what was what. I didn't know she knew she was an angel, and I still wasn't sure about it at the time, so it was a surprise to me when Sam showed up on my doorstep." She was quiet a few moments before, "It was bad, those first few weeks. He came to me and we just…" she paused, seeming to search for the right words. Finally, she shrugged. "It wasn't that hard on me. I never had you to lose, not like that. But, Dean, if you could have seen him…"

"I hate it," he said finally. And he really did. Tonight, it seemed as if every emotion he hadn't felt for the past six years had bombarded him. "I shouldn't have left him alone."

"I know you hate it, Dean. Believe me, I get it. In your position, I would have done the same thing."

"You would?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. You did what you always do; what you thought was best. But, then, you did what you always do and didn't ask anyone else if what you thought was best was what really was best."

He gave her a rueful smile as they pulled up to the valet at the restaurant. The valet opened the door for her and Dean smirked as she pulled the little guy close. "Listen to me, I know every scratch, every dent in this car. You fuck her up, I fuck you up. Don't let the heels fool you, I know ten different ways to kill you without a weapon in my hand and I have a knife in my garter. Understand?"

The kid looked like he was going to piss his pants, but he nodded.

She smiled sweetly as she patted his face. "Good. Go park her away from everyone else," she purred as she slipped a twenty in his pocket. "There's a Benjamin in it for you if you make me happy." She released him, tapped him on the nose, and walked to Dean, whose mouth had fallen open.

"Damn, you are bad ass," he told her.

She smiled and slipped her arm in his. "You have to maintain dominance at all times, else people will screw you over."

"I just popped a woody," he admitted.

She laughed throatily. "We'll have to see if there is a coat closet in this place."

I love you, he thought, but he couldn't say it. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to say it, but it hadn't seemed to bother her that he hadn't admitted it aloud.

They walked back by the hostess, but he didn't even pay attention to her as his hand found the small of Ryan's back as he guided her to the elevator. She turned and smiled up at him. "Okay, so, real quick, I'll go over a few things, alright?"

He sucked in a breath. "Okay. Go."

She smiled. "I'll go by age order, how about that?"

"The kids?"

She nodded. "All six of them are mine now. I'm mama bear. You don't fuck with mama bear. They all know it. Hell, all the hunters know it. No one messes with Ryan Fawcett."

He chuckled. "Sounds like a plan. Asserting dominance?"

She nodded again. "Exactly. So, Krissy's the oldest. You know her, so that's cool. She usually hunts with Hope, but she and Ben went on a hunt a few months ago that turned out to be…interesting."

His eyebrows shot up. "Interesting how?"

"They both came back sporting hickeys. Of course, they thought they were playing it cool, but I knew. I had known, but then Ben accidentally blurted it out, and, well, yeah…it happens."

He laughed out loud. "Alright, so, they're…dating?"

She shrugged. "Somewhat. I won't let them hunt together if they can't keep their hands off each other and their clothes on."

"Good move."

"So, Jesse's next. He's grown up since you saw him last. He's a great guy. He's got his powers under control."

"And he and Hope are dating?"

She nodded with a smile. "A demon and an angel, right? Go figure."

"And it works?"

She paused, seeming to search for the right words. "It's complicated. Hope's seventeen. She's a high school graduate already and working on her college degree in theology as well as in mythology. There are a lot of things she missed while she was Dionysus, so she's playing catch up. Jesse has seen and done almost everything the world 'round. Hope remembers being human and living it to the most, so they're both a little wild at times." She paused and looked at him. "She is most definitely your daughter. Thankfully when angels take over female bodies, they can't reproduce."

His mouth fell open. "Meaning…"

She nodded. "Yeah, well, nephilim are only created by angels in male vessels and human females. Don't ask me why, I just had to make sure when she started going wild we didn't bring home anything that might cause you know, the wrath of heaven or anything."

He snorted. "Good to know."

"I know, right?" She smiled. "But you should see the two of them fight…her angel grace battling his demon powers? It's amazing. They make each other better hunters, but that's why I separate them. I put Jesse and Ben together so Ben has someone with powers, same as Kris and Hope. It gives them a little bit more help."

"You don't let Ben and Hope hunt together? Why? Wouldn't siblings work together better?"

She nodded. "They could, and they have, on occasion, but I figured it would be easier with two girls and two boys. They work better like that, actually." She smirked. "It's turned into a contest between them. Girls versus boys. Besides, watching the two girls work is a sight to behold. They dominate the boys, especially when it comes to some of the demons that escape."

He winced. "I try to keep a lid on them…"

She held up a hand. "Oh, I know. They claw their way out. It's not like Hell has border patrol or anything."

He nodded. He couldn't keep them all locked in. He tried, but a border patrol wouldn't work, not with all the cracks and crevices they could escape through.

"I've told you a bit about Ben and Hope. They're not kids anymore."

Her voice was sad. "You've done amazing with them, I can tell already."

She smiled at him and shrugged. "Then there is Bobby," she continued, ignoring his praise. "He's almost nine. He's a really good fighter. His powers are just starting. I have him and Jon together most of the time. They're just like Jesse and Hope; their powers fight one another and it is making them both great fighters. Of course, I'm training them with weapons as well. Both of them get tired when they use their powers, so I'm wearing them out then training them with weapons. If Bobby is going to go to Purgatory for more than just a visit, he's gotta be ready."

He nodded. "Yeah, it's not a walk in the park. Hell is a definite improvement over Purgatory, got to be honest. And with the Leviathans in there…you sure he's supposed to rule the joint?"

She nodded. "Cas seems pretty confident, then, when we met up with Eve, that sort of cemented it."

"Eve?"

"Don't ask. Trust me. But, hey, archangel juice is flowing through him. I think he can handle it."

He was dying to ask about Eve, but he held that one in. He wouldn't get every answer he wanted tonight. "Damn. I just can't believe he's Gabriel. That's just…fucked up."

She giggled. "Yeah, well, you're right. You should see him. Most of the time he's Bobby, my son. But occasionally, Gabriel shines through him and let me tell you, the kid loves fucking with Sam. It's hilarious, really."

Dean smiled at the thought as the elevator dinged at the stop. She held the door closed as she continued, "Jon is the baby. At five and a half, he's still powerful, more powerful than Jesse was at his age, or so Jesse says. But he's still a little boy. He and Bobby like Legos and superheroes and dinosaurs and matchbox cars and when they are tired or don't feel good, they want hugs and cuddles from Mommy." She smiled at that. "All my kids are cuddly, even Hope likes to cuddle still, on occasion, when she's being nice, anyway. Some days…well, she's a moody teenager with angel juice. It makes things complicated."

"It sounds like your life is complicated."

She laughed. "It really is. And I love every moment of it. Most of the time. Sam's great. He always knows when I've had enough of being Mommy and I need to be Hunter Ryan. He keeps me balanced. And Andy…she's just fit seamlessly into our lives."

"How did you wind up with Ruby's relative?"

"Twin sister."

"What?"

She nodded with a smile. "She's Ruby's meatsuit's twin sister. She and I have been friends for years."

"And the fact she's Ruby's twin sister didn't bother you?"

"She's her meatsuit's twin sister. Not Ruby's. Keep them separate, Dean. It makes a difference."

He opened his mouth to make a witty retort, but rethought it and snapped his mouth closed.

"Good. See? You're learning."

He glared at her. She glared right back but then she smiled. "After Nebraska, Sam went off to have some space. I was alone with the kids. Andy and I had been friends, then, she called me after you went down south. She had heard rumors. She thought it was Sam. She knew about Sam and Ruby, so when she found I was living with Sam, she thought, like you, that we were shacking up. She got mad and refused to talk to me. After that, we didn't speak for years until finally, one day, she came to me and wanted to make amends. She was there when Sam returned."

"So, she's really not Ruby's twin sister, but the meat suit."

She nodded. "Ruby inhabited a Jane Doe. What no one realized was Andrea had found out about the Jane Doe and went to see her in the hopes it was her sister, whom she was estranged from. She got there just in time to find out what happened."

"What happened?"

"Ariel, which was the meatsuit's name, was pronounced brain dead. They pulled the plug, she woke up. But when her sister's body went missing for almost a year after being declared brain dead and unplugged, only to come to life the second the machine cut off, she was curious and she went digging, trying to find her. When Ariel wound up dead in a convent in Maryland where some weird shit just happened to down, Andrea figured something was definitely up."

Dean winced. "Ruby was a bitch, but Sam had kinda insinuated she needed to take an empty meatsuit."

Ryan nodded. "I got the low-down from Sam about it after the fact. Andy had actually figured it out all on her own over time. She's wicked smart. She came to me for answers, actually, about her sister. She wanted to make sure her sister hadn't suffered. She'd learned a lot about you guys and wanted to know more. She happened up on Garth a long while ago. He gave her my number, we started talking years ago, actually. I met with her before you and Sam showed up in South Dakota. She and I have been friends forever it seems now, since Hope was a little girl. I had knowledge thanks to The Gospels, so I was able to clue her in to what she didn't know."

"Wait. Wait. The Gospels? They stopped, didn't they? When Chuck disappeared?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I guess not. I received them from the time I got pregnant with Hope until the angels fell."

"So you knew everything, all this time? And you didn't say anything?" The feeling of betrayal came back in a sharp sting.

"What was I supposed to say, Dean? I couldn't tell you about the kid, and from what I gathered, you didn't like anyone knowing your shit, so I figured you wouldn't want me to come clean about reading the Supernatural books or the transcripts that came afterward."

"I just…I can't believe it. You know more about me than I do."

She smiled. "Hardly. I had no idea you'd show up tonight, if that's any consolation."

He smirked. "Yeah, I like to keep it fresh." He paused, then inquired, "So, you know this Andy chick. What happened when Sam met her?"

She chortled. "Well, that was interesting. I knew she had been a teacher in Ohio before she started hunting…"

"Wait. She's a hunter?"

Ryan rolled her eyes. "Yes, Dean. keep up, would you?"

"Smart ass," he pouted, earning a grin from her.

"Anyway, whenever she showed up, it just made sense for her to tutor the kids, you know? I told her the truth of it all. But I'm getting ahead of myself. So, Sam came back with his tail tucked between his legs, trying to make amends for being an assmunch and we made up. Then, Andy walked in. I swear, you should have seen the look on his face. He had Andy bent over the table so fast…I thought he would snap her neck on sight. He flipped his shit brilliantly. I would never have been able to hold him back. Ultimately, it was Bobby and Jon who held him back with their combined powers."

"What happened then?"

Ryan smiled. "Bobby and Jon had him pinned to the kitchen counter. Once we realized he wasn't going to murder Andy, they released him, she took Jon upstairs. When he was little, if he used his powers, it exhausted him too much. Sam and I, as usual, had it out, then she came back downstairs." Ryan chuckled. "Andy's bold as brass. She walked up to him and told him she wasn't a demon." Her smirk grew. "She reached into his pocket, pulled out his flask, downed a shot of holy water, and cut her arm just to prove it to him then and there." She looked up at him. "I swear, it was like watching a bad Spanish soap opera. I could almost see the hearts fluttering in the air. It was the strangest thing I've ever witnessed, and I've seen some weird shit, Dean."

He snorted. "Me too. So…she looks just like Ruby?"

She nodded. "Almost identical. But if you know her, there are little differences, ones you'll especially notice because you have additional powers. She's one hundred percent human, that much is evident. She's wonderful."

"And they're having a baby."

"They have a baby. Steven was born two months ago. Andy said she'd be damned if she was going to be the one walking down the aisle as big as a barn in a white wedding dress." She smiled. "Sam does whatever she wants. It's so cute. They're so happy together, Dean. It's…it's unbelievable. I love watching the two of them. They fit, you know? They rotate around one another in perfectly timed movements."

Sam was happy. Sam had a baby. Sam had a wife, well, almost. That was all he ever wanted for his little brother, for him to be happy. "So, they're living together?"

Ryan nodded. "They have a house. Sam's a homeowner now. They bought a place just down the road from me. I should have shown it to you, we drove right past it on the way back."

"Is he…he's not like dad, is he? That's what scared both of us the most, well, it's what scared me the most…"

She bit her lip as she thought. "None of us are normal. Hope got the most normal childhood. For the first seven years of her life, we were normal, just a mom and a child. After Bobby, it wasn't the same, but we tried. We managed it until I got pregnant with Jon, then normal went out the window. With Steven, Sam's not going to hide any of this. We've realized now that the Winchester name means something. If he's meant to hunt, he'll grow up to hunt. If he's meant to be a Journaler, then, that's what he'll do. Free will is a thing, but so is Destiny."

"Destiny would have led me and Sam to being some archangel's bitches," Dean growled.

She shook her head. "You're not getting it. You were always destined to say 'no' because that's who you are."

"Gabriel thrust us into that stupid TV show to make us see we had to play our parts…"

She shook her head. "Is that why you think he did it?"

"It's what he said."

She shook her head. "Gabriel will have to explain it to you one day, but I got a good look into his mind when he was inside me, Dean. He didn't hold much back. He showed me a lot about Heaven, about you and Sam, he didn't tell me his master plan…finding out he's riding shotgun in my son was definitely a nasty shock, but everything else, I get now. Every little bit of the pieces are falling into place just like God commanded."

"So…Gabe took his marching orders from God?"

She nodded. "Of course he did. How else would the prophecies come true?"

"I thought he ran away from God."

"He was in witness protection. Who do you think put him and Hope there in the first place?"

"I thought he hid from his brothers."

"He did." She sighed. "Look, you may not realize it, but destiny and free will are closely linked. Of course you would say 'no' to Michael. That was all part of the design that led to this moment. And when you said 'no' and averted the apocalypse, the next logical step took place. Every single thing you've ever done, all the million and one decisions you've made over your whole life has led to this moment."

"And it is meant to be?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"And you're just swallowing that?"

She shrugged. "Free will means doing what you think is right. Destiny follows free will. They aren't mutually exclusive, Dean." She took her finger off the button and the door opened. She smiled. "Are you ready?"

He glanced out into the empty hall. He could just make out the sounds of laughter from the room down the hall. He squared his shoulders. "Let's do this."

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An2: Final note of the day; I hope, really hope, you liked how Dean came back in. Not to worry! There will still be lots of issues for them to work through. Not everything was discussed in this chapter. There will be other things and we see Cas and Dean talking in the next chapter. The next two chapters still revolve around the rest of this night and the wedding itself. Then we move on to new and exciting times.