I'm pretty sure that I have a terribly goofy and completely smitten grin on my face and have since I left Sonny's an hour ago. I'm also pretty sure that last night and this morning will go down in history as the best 12 hours of my entire life. I still sort of feel like it was a dream. Being together was just so effortless and incredible. We talked, listened to music, cuddled, made love, cooked for each other, had breakfast in bed, made love again, and again, and said "I love you" to each other no less than 50 times. Perfect is the only word I know that truly captures how I feel about last night.
As I pull into my driveway, I mentally make sure I've made all the stops I needed to make before heading home. I went to the store to pick up some groceries, made a visit to see my grandmother at the pub, and even picked up a new book for Arianna's bedtime tonight. "That's it!" I say to myself and pull the bags from the back of the car.
I'm so distracted, perhaps totally lost in my own wonderful world of Sonny, that I don't notice Gabi's car still parked in the garage. I unlock the front door, still none the wiser, walk right into the kitchen and start unpacking bags.
"Will, you're home a little earlier than I thought..." Gabi's voice scares the crap out of me.
"Oh jeez!" I jump a couple feet back and drop the bag of apples I'm holding to the floor. "Gabi! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at work?" I lean over and check the fruit for bruises. They don't look too bad. I pick them up and put them into the produce drawer in the fridge. I glance over to see Gabi's head peek up over the couch. I'm still looking at her waiting for an explanation when Nick's head pops up right next to hers. He holds a hand up in greeting.
"Gabi, what the hell is going on? And Nick, why are you here? Shouldn't you both be working?" Gabi just started a new job a few weeks ago, and if she gets fired again, this time for absences, then she'll need to postpone yet again the move into her own place. I'll not be having that. So, needless to say, I'm pissed...not only to find Gabi home but also because she's here playing hooky with Nick.
"Will, let me explain." She walks into the kitchen and holds on to the back of one of the chairs. I stand there, leaning up against the counter, arms crossed, ready for her to feed me some lame excuse as to why she deserves a day off. "Ummm, well, Arianna had a rough morning..."
"What happened to Ari?" my tone changes when I hear my daughter mentioned.
"She didn't get hurt or anything, Will, don't worry. She just woke up from a really, really bad nightmare at about 2:30am. She was screaming and tossing so much in her bed I thought she was going to throw herself right off. I was able to wake her up, and she sobbed when she saw me. I couldn't get her to talk about it, but it sure messed her up. She pretty much refused to fall back asleep. I let her stay in my bed with me and just held her until the alarm went off."
"Poor baby girl," I'm so sad that I wasn't here for her. I hate the thought of my precious daughter going through that without me. "And she was okay to go to school? With little to no sleep?"
Gabi sighs. "She wouldn't stay home. She's such a stubborn one, that girl; she reminds me of her father..."
"Very funny. I think she gets it from both sides, actually."
"Maybe," Gabi says with a smile. "But I was exhausted. I stayed awake all night with her and didn't want to fall back asleep for fear of her having another nightmare or sleep walking or something like that. I called in and talked to my boss, and he understood. I'm being responsible, Will, this time. I don't want to lose this job; it means too much."
"Okay. But, you stayed home to rest and for some reason you felt you could only do that with Nick around?" The beginning of my speech is calm. The end of it is not. I just met with the man the night before to see if it was possible for me to forgive him for treating me like shit as a child. We had one talk. One cup of coffee. I by no means gave my okay to start having Nick over to our house - MY house - for daily visits. Not to mention Arianna will be home in about 2 hours. I do NOT want him around her. That hasn't changed.
"It's not what you think..." she starts, getting a bit flustered.
"Well, I'm listening." I stare at her waiting for a response.
"Okay, well, I dropped Ari off at school - I thought it would be nice to not make her ride the bus when she wasn't feeling all that great - and then I stopped at the pub for some breakfast to go. Nick happened to be there picking up some coffee, and we just started talking. He had a few errands to run still, and I wanted to nap for a little while, but I wanted to talk to him more...so, I ah..."
"You invited him here." I finish for her.
"Yes. But I told him that as soon as you got home he'd have to leave, and he certainly needed to be gone when Ari got home from school. I'm sorry Will if it caught you off guard. I guess I didn't think to talk to you about it first."
I don't say anything more. I just turn around and continue putting groceries away. I know that Gabi is still standing there, waiting for me to say something, but I can't just yet. And then he speaks. "Will, it was my fault, I'm sorry. I wanted to keep talking with Gabi but we both had other things to do first. I kind of invited myself over."
"No, Nick, don't try to take the blame for this. I invited you here. This is Will's house, I am only staying until I get my own place, so I should have checked with him before having you over." She turns from Nick to me. "I'm sorry. Come on Nick, I'll walk you out." Gabi leads him past the kitchen to the foyer. Before he shuts the door behind them, he turns to me, "Thank you. It was good to see you again, Will. Have a good night." And he's gone.
What the hell? "...good to see you again..." are words I never thought I'd hear from him. And "thank you..." too? I don't know what's happening, but Nick keeps surprising me. Am I a fool to think that this change seems genuine? It's hard for me to believe but at the same time, hard for me not to believe.
I shift my focus back on putting away the last few groceries before heading into my room to do a little work before Arianna gets home. I fire up my laptop and pop into my email. There's several from clients, even more from co-workers, and one last message from an address I don't recognize. I'm tempted at first not to open it. I'm an IT guy, and I know the ramifications of opening potentially virus-laced messages. I also know that if our security software didn't catch it, and if it passed all the other checks before landing in my inbox, well, then it probably was safe. Besides, I hear from potential clients all the time asking for quotes on equipment and service.
I re-read the sender's address making sure one last time that I don't recognize it: F Lincoln Ka and the rest is at businessgenius dot com. Nope. Doesn't sounds familiar. I opt to open it. And I'm glad I did.
"Dear Mr. Horton, I am interested in speaking with you regarding the potential upgrade to our servers here at Business Genius. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. I look forward to speaking with you. Sincerely, Mr. F Lincoln Ka"
I write a polite response thanking him for his inquiry, asking him to answer a few questions about his business (number of employees, offices, current IT vendor, etc.) and to include a contact number. Because I'm not in the office, I don't feel completely prepared to offer any type of assessment or estimate, but information gathered today will make it easier for me to act on once I'm in the office tomorrow.
My phone buzzes, and I pick it up, hoping it's a text from Sonny. It is.
Hey gorgeous, how are you doing? Getting lots of work done?
Just starting. Gabi AND Nick here when I got home. Not a happy camper.
What was he doing there?
Hanging with Gabi. Tell u more later. How R U?
Ok. Missing my fantastic, adorable, incredibly sexy boyfriend.
Me too! We both must be really lucky to have boyfriends like that.
Oh yes. I think we both got very lucky last night.
And this morning. ;)
When do I get to see you again?
Maybe tomorrow?
I wish it could be now.
Me too. I luv u.
I luv u so much. I'm at the shop tomorrow. Maybe stop by after Arianna is home from school. Hot chocolate with extra whipped cream is on me.
Oh baby, I sure wish the whipped cream was on you.
Will! You've never texted anything dirty to me before!
You think that was dirty? Just u wait Mr.
Bring it on.
Fine. U may need a few extra breaks tomorrow, either that or time in the storeroom.
I won't believe it til I see it, Horton.
Ok fine. I better go. Ari's bus will b here soon.
Sounds good. Give your pumpkin a big kiss for me.
I will. Talk to U tomorrow. Luv u, Sonny.
Luv you 2, Will.
Just as I finish reading Sonny's last message, I hear Arianna's bus pull to a stop almost right in front of our house. I greet her at the door. "Sweetheart - how was school today?" And she runs into my arms.
"Daddy, I missed you. I had a bad dream last night."
"I heard, sweet girl, Mommy told me it was really bad. She also told me you didn't want to talk about it."
"Daddy it was bad." Arianna looks so tired, so sad that I just want to pull her in my arms and squeeze and never let go.
"Do you remember what it was about Ari?"
"Ummm...I do remember part of it, Daddy." I nod for her to continue. We walk to the living room, and I sit down on the couch, pulling her into my lap. "I don't know if I can say."
"Well, you don't have to if you really don't want to. But I think it might help to tell someone. If you don't want to tell me maybe you could talk to Mommy?"
"No! I can't. Mommy was in the dream too." She fidgets with her skirt and then looks me squarely in the eye - blue on blue - sharing the same sadness and intensity. "I'll tell you."
"I'm glad, sweetie. Take your time. I'm here whenever you are ready."
I expect her to avoid talking a little while longer, so I'm surprised when she speaks right away. "There was a real mean guy with two faces who kept chasing me."
I pause a moment to let that settle in. "Two faces?"
"Yes. One on front an one on back. One face was smiling. The other was very mean. That's the one that scared me daddy."
"Why did that one scare you the most?"
"It just kept calling out for me. His eyes were red and he had big, sharp teeth."
"You sure it wasn't the big bad wolf, Arianna sweetheart?" I tease comfortably, smiling at her.
"Daddy, don't tease. I was really scared."
"I know you were honey, I'm sorry. It must have been very frightening for you."
"Yes, Daddy, I kept wishing you were here."
I don't know what to say. If I would have been here, then that means I wouldn't have been at Sonny's, which means my dream-come-true night with him would not have happened. But had I been here, maybe the nightmare wouldn't have happened, and Ari wouldn't be looking so terrified right now.
"I love you Arianna, you know that don't you?" I pull her back in for another hug.
"I love you too Daddy,"
"Ok now go get changed. I have a surprise for you!"
"Yay, Daddy! What is it?"
"Now if I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore now would it?"
Arianna pouts. "No."
"Okay then. Go, change, read, homework and then you can help me with dessert." I watch as she smiles and dances down the hallway to her room. I turn back around, trying to understand what might have spooked my daughter enough to have a dream like that. I'm in pretty deep thought when Arianna appears in front of me and pulls me into a very tender embrace
"I love you Daddy."
"I love you too, pumpkin. Oh, and Sonny wanted me to say 'hello' to you and give you a kiss." I give her a light peck on the cheek.
"Are you having a sleepover with him again tonight?"
"No, honey, it'll just be me here. But maybe we could do that again sometime soon."
"Good. I like Sonny a lot."
"I do too," I grin at her.
"Well, I love Sonny," she chides, thinking she's got me beat. I laugh and let her win, even though I'm thinking about how much I love him, too. Without another word, she skips off to her room, and I resume worrying about what happened this morning. This isn't the first time Arianna has had bad dreams, but they have never scared her as much as this one seems to have done.
"A man with two faces?" I mumble out loud, as I get up and start getting dinner ready. This may just be a good time to have Ari talk with Grandma Marlena. I know I wouldn't have survived without being able to talk to her, so maybe that's what Arianna needs too. Tomorrow I'll call to see if Marlena can see us right away. Even though Arianna seems to have bounced back from the bad dream, for some reason this one disturbs me more than any of the others. And I am right to feel that way.