Festeris with Gomez in the master bedroom. Gomez is propped up, into a sitting-up position in the bed. Fester is standing by his side, and yelling at him. He has a whistle around his neck, even though he isn't even using it. He is trying to get Gomez to swallow ever since he's been able to move his mouth more. Gomez is trying, and succeeding – some of the time. He's gulping, gulping and gulping until he can't possibly exert any more energy.
Fester
Again!
Gomez tries swallowing over and over once again. He's more tired this time.
Fester
Again!
And he tries even harder, yet again. He's pushing himself harder, and can barely do anything now with how fast he's exerting all his energy.
Fester
Again, Gomez, if ya know what's good for ya!
Gomez is clearly very tired by now and not really able to do anything visible or noteworthy.
Fester
Top speed!
Fester gets annoyed at Gomez's perceived "slacking".
Fester
FASTER, GOMEZ!
Gomez tries again, and just coughs, choking on air. He obviously has a lot of problems swallowing, still.
Fester
Aw, shoot.
As Gomez coughs, Morticia hears this from another room, and rushes in.
Morticia
Gomez? Oh, Gomez!
Morticia brushes past Fester, stands next to Gomez and lifts him into a sit with Fester's instinctual help.
Morticia performs a quick cough assist, something Harvey taught her to do.
The cough assist is successful, but Gomez's eyeliner starts to run, with his eyes watering.
Morticia
Oh dear, we'll have to fix that.
Fester
Morticia, I swear, I was only testing him.
Morticia gently lifts Gomez back into the sitting-in-bed position he was in before. She puts his head on the pillow and puts a hand on his belly.
Morticia
That's quite alright, Fester. Dr Harvey did say we ought to exercise him. Dear Gomez, are you alright?
Gomez nods. Morticia wipes his eyes and centres him to be able to see his computer properly again.
Gomez
Querida mia…
Morticia
Ssssh, don't strain your eyes too, darling.
Gomez
My dear, I didn't mean to scare you!
Morticia
You're quite alright. I do quite appreciate a good scare once in a while.
She takes a seat next to him, in a chair beside the bed, and looks at Fester.
Morticia
So, Fester. Before all the commotion, how did he do?
Fester
Well, he was doing a lousy job, and it only got lousier.
Morticia
Any progress?
Fester
Not a bit! I told him "top speed" and he gave me some meagre little gulps.
Morticia
Well, Fester, it's much better than nothing at all.
Fester
Not if he's still choking on his saliva it's not!
Morticia
It's only been a few days! We ought not to expect dear Gomez to be perfectly able to swallow again overnight.
Fester
If werewolves can transform overnight, so can Gomez!
Morticia
But Fester, Gomez isn't a werewolf.
Fester
He's not?
Gomez
I wish, old man.
Fester
Oh. I thought, y'know, with all the hair, that… never mind.
Morticia
But Fester please – don't go overboard with poor Gomez. He'll learn again in his own time. If he chokes and no one is there to help him… I can't even imagine how catastrophic the results could be.
Gomez
I could be a brain in a jar sooner than either of us had planned.
Morticia
And you're far too dashing for that to happen so soon.
Gomez
Cara mia…
There is a knock on the door.
Gomez
Come in!
It's Pugsley.
Pugsley
Hello mother. Hello father. Hello Uncle Fester.
Gomez
Pugsley, my boy! What brings you here?
Pugsley
A letter for you both.
Fester
And nothing for Fester, same old, same old/
Morticia
/Oh? From whom? Mail doesn't usually come so late. Or so physical.
Pugsley
Mrs Park.
Morticia
From Mrs Park? Well, this is a surprise. A personal correspondence from our son's own teacher.
Fester (dully)
What an honour.
Morticia opens it, and begins to read.
Gomez
What is it, my dear?
Morticia
"Dear Mr and Mrs Addams – this is to remind you that on Friday the 7th, there will be a parent-teacher conference in the school hall to discuss your child's progress over the school year so far. Both parents are encouraged to attend. The meeting will begin at eight o'clock and will not take more than an hour. Test results, behaviour reports and general comments will be shared, as well as study plans for the next few weeks. Yours sincerely, Mrs Park."
Gomez
A personal invitation. Cara mia! Should I go?
Morticia
Well, what do you want, darling?
Gomez
He is my son!
Morticia
That is true, dear.
Gomez
And I must know if the school's taken us up our curriculum reform ideas!
Morticia
Advanced Explosive Technique was such a well-drawn out lesson plan, darling.
Gomez
And don't forget Pet Day!
Morticia
Oh, I do hope they've kept it up!
Gomez
Bringing Aristotle to show to the class was a genius idea, my boy!
Morticia
He truly does love his animals, doesn't he?
Gomez
A blue-blooded Addams!
Morticia
Do they still do Pet Day, Pugsley?
Pugsley
What's an "indefinite hiatus"?
Gomez
Hm. I don't know!
Morticia
Must be a technical term.
Gomez
Novel.
Morticia
Darling, I think it would be a good idea for you to go with me to the meeting. It's important you show the world your inner strength and integrity. You are the picture of nobility.
Gomez
You're a true poet, querida mia.
Morticia
And you, a knight in shining armor.
Gomez
Cara…
Fester
Okay, okay, too much! I'm gonna go wash out my eyes.
Morticia
Oh Fester, I'm sorry but we're out of bleach.
Fester
Typical! Bad to worse. Bad to worse. Guess I'll have to use mouthwash. The indignity!
Uncle Fester grunts off.
Morticia
Dear, he is in a mood. Pugsley darling, do you have any homework to do?
Pugsley
I'm procrastinating!
Gomez
Attaboy!
Morticia
You go and procrastinate with Aristotle, Pugsley dear.
Gomez
Poor little creature's probably missing you!
Pugsley
Alright mother, alright father. He does get very lonely.
Pugsley runs along, calling "Aristotle, I'm on my way! Don't panic!" Morticia looks back at Gomez.
Morticia
Dear… you Addams men are so caring.
Morticia looks at herself in the mirror.
Morticia
Gomez, darling. How hard did Uncle Fester push you?
Gomez
I don't know, but I certainly managed something.
Morticia
You think you managed to swallow properly?
Gomez
I think I must have.
Morticia
Harvey said as much – the reflex should be back for good soon. My dear, are you looking forward to being able to drink and dine with us once more?
Gomez
Cara mia, the thought is heavenly!
Morticia
And the dinner that Lurch and I shall prepare will be just as heavenly… slug paté and fish eye stew.
Gomez
Tish, it sounds delectable.
Morticia
Impressive, considering it hasn't been made yet.
Gomez
I have no doubt it will be your masterpiece!
Morticia (flattered)
A masterpiece! Oh, darling…
Gomez
The thought alone will make me salivate if I ponder it too deeply!
Morticia
You are the poet, my dear.
They kiss.