And you thought the title was just there for show.
Episode 25: Best Spouses Forever!? (Part 1)
[Two years have passed since the world had permanently changed by the fusion with the Zero dimension and the return of the Shares. Many things had happened, from small steps between relationships, to big fights that decided the fate of the world yet again. The Zero nation had grown substantially, but did not try to compete on the same scale as the four established ones. A new balance had been found and things had normalized over time. There was still no clear winner in the Share race to be found. Everyone experienced the usual ups and downs as technology progressed and games were released.
Yes, things have become peaceful. In the wake of this age of prosperity we were surprised to hear the news from Sis and Miss Noire that would change everything one more time-]
"Nepgear are you narrating again?" Uni put a hand on her shoulder and interrupted her recollection. "You still need to change, so could you wait with that until later?"
"Uni your hair is down!" Nepgear gasped as she looked at her girlfriend. She visually examined her from head to toe and was simply mesmerized. Uni was wearing a formal black and white dress and had her hair down in an uncharacteristically straight fashion. The two ribbons above her ears were accentuating her cute appeal perfectly.
"I know it looks weird on me. You don't have to stare so much." Uni sighed and played with the tips of her flowing hair.
"No no no! It looks beautiful!" Nepgear shook her head and corrected the misunderstanding. Coming here was already worth it just for that sight alone!
"Your exaggerated compliments always come way too easy." Uni put a hand on her forehead to hide her embarrassment.
"Then should I wear twintails today? It would be like we switched hairstyles." Gear suggested happily.
"That's unnecessary, just put on your dress already." Uni objected and urged her to get changed.
"You're right. I couldn't really pull them off like you do." Nepgear admitted and grabbed the dress from the mannequin.
"You already look perfect the way you are…" Uni whispered.
"Hm? Did you say something?"
"Of course not!" She made an X with her arms and turned away. "I'll be waiting outside!" She fled like a debtor from their debt collector.
Nepgear didn't question Uni's odd behavior in the slightest. She was always like that, so Gear just filed it under 'cute reactions'. That folder was getting huge.
After putting on her white dress with the purple blouse below, she checked herself in the mirror. The flower ornament (instead of the usual D-pad) in her hair was a little uncharacteristic, but she felt it was appropriate for today.
Today. An important day. The day they had awaited for two years already.
The day of Neptune and Noire's wedding.
Deciding that she had brushed up her ego enough, Nepgear left the guest room. The hallway beyond was filled with the early noon sun. All the giant windows were wide open, letting in the cool air and blinding light. Nepgear shielded her eyes and squinted to see the forest outside in strained colors. The lush greenery surrounded the building like a protective barrier. Only the sky above was wide and free.
Shaking off the tranquil thoughts she peeked around the door, but couldn't catch a glimpse of Uni anywhere. She had told her that she would be waiting outside. Just not where exactly.
Unsure if to wait or explore Nepgear kept walking up and down the hallway. She stopped in her tracks when she began to hear voices closing in on her.
"C-could you not cling to my arm so much? It's hard to walk like this." That voice undoubtedly belonged to IF. And judging by what she said the other person must have been…
"Do I have to~?" Compa replied playfully. "You don't want to be close to me Iffy?"
"That's not what I meant!"
Nepgear could almost hear her blushing. It put a smile on her face. Fully aware that it would stress IF out even more she casually turned the corner and met up with them.
"Hi!" She greeted them happily.
"Gear?!" IF reflexively tried to back away from Compa, but the nurse's arms and bosom were tightly wrapped around the guild members arm. She would have had an easier time wriggling out of handcuffs.
"Ge-Ge! That's a really cute dress." Compa complimented her with a smile.
"Thanks! It's also nice to see you two dressed all formally." It was a rare sight indeed. IF wasn't wearing her Ninebrand outfit, but rather a reserved short dress that offered more practicality than a cocktail dress like Compa's, but still looked formal enough. It definitely suited her better than something fancy. Of course Compa's red and black dress showed off her curves and hourglass figure, but it also gave her a more serious atmosphere compared to when she wore her comfy sweaters.
"If you say so..." IF was visibly uneasy being looked at right now. Whether it was because of her outfit or Compa's clinginess, Nepgear could not tell.
Nepgear couldn't help but snicker with a hand in front of her mouth. Seeing the stoic IF reduced to a blushing mess was a sight to behold. She had become rather meek ever since she confessed to Compa about a year ago. Apparently she had been pushing it off for a long, long time. And then on the last Valentine 's Day she finally went for it. Nobody knew how it happened and the duo would never tell a soul (probably on IF's personal request), but Compa did somehow accept her feelings. And she was not shy about showing it off either. Much to IF's (weak) protest.
"Didn't you arrive here with Uni?" IF suddenly changed the topic.
"That's true." Nepgear nodded. "But she left for a bit and hasn't returned yet."
"Maybe she wanted to find Lady Noire to cheer her up?" Compa guessed.
"She didn't want to meet up with her before the ceremony she said. We even came separately and all-" Gear put a finger to her chin in thought. "Hm? Cheer Miss Noire up? Why would she need to do that?"
"Uhm…. We met her on the way to the Zero Basilicom. She looked a bit-"
"Grumpy." Compa finished her sentence.
"Not how I would have put it! But… yeah. Essentially." IF shrugged.
"Gosh… and on the day of the wedding no less." Nepgear felt a tinge of unease from that information. If Uni had heard someone mention this she definitely would have rushed to Noire's side.
"It will be fiiine." Compa assured her. "Nep-Nep will make her very happy today!" Seeing so much confidence put into those words was reassuring.
"If you still want to find her, maybe mingle with the other guests?" IF suggested. "Most people already arrived hours ago." She added with a sigh.
"We needed to make you look extra cool and nicey-nice today!" Compa picked up on her partner's frustration, but took a hard-line stance.
"What does it matter if my hair is completely straight or if the necktie is tied with the formal knot?" The brunette girl mumbled.
"If Iffy dresses sloppy then I will too." Compa was about to loosen her collar, dramatically increasing the size of her v-neck, but IF grabbed her hand just in time.
"I got it! I really do! Forgive me!"
"Reaaally?" Compa puffed her cheeks.
"Really!" IF gave her a wry smile as sweat ran down her face.
"Great! Let's go find Nep-Nep! I want to see her pretty dress too." She returned to her aloof attitude and pulled IF along.
To nobody's surprise Compa was in total control. IF was clay in the nurse's delicate hands. She made a pitiable expression as Compa dragged her along, still hugging her arm. Gear just waved her hand and let them go.
The advice had been good though. Mingling with the attendees was sure to turn up some info on where Uni went. With that in mind Nepgear proceeded to walk down the stairs into the atrium. The old marble floors and pillars were giving the place an opaque feeling of importance. The wooden gate had been flung wide open to welcome all guests inside.
And many had gathered already. As expected of the CPU's social circle, the masses of people were more reminiscent of a small parade than a group of wedding guests. Family, friends, co-workers and other close acquaintances were filling the hall and the rooms next to it. If she greeted everyone present it might have taken an hour...
Instead she squeezed through the crowd and walked over to the edge of the hall where she had spotted a certain someone from above.
""Uzume!"" The twins called out in unison.
"Yo RomRam what's up-?" The redhead turned the twins' way, just to be shocked by what she saw. "Huh? What happened?!"
""What's wrong?"" They replied in unison.
"You're wearin'…" Uzume was stunned. The twins were both wearing white dresses! No distinctive colors at all!
""Can you tell us apart?"" They smiled like a pair of creepy horror movie twins.
"Totally, because Ramsy has long hair and Romsy short- eh?" Uzume's face turned blue in horror. The twins were both wearing long braided hair! "Did ya grow it out Romsy?!"
""Maybe."" They replied in sync.
This was a daunting task indeed. The twins were usually distinctive enough with the way they looked and acted, but now they tried their best to become the same person! How did she deserve to be tested so harshly? She balled her fist in front of her chest and looked down in shame. Wasn't this like saying she couldn't tell them apart if they just acted a little differently than usual? What kind of shitty friend would be so stupid?
"What's your favorite color!" Her eyes suddenly sparked as she came up with a perfect plan.
""White."" They replied without delay.
"Dammit!" They totally saw through it!
"White ain't even a color in the first place." Suddenly Blanc's relaxed voice cut through the tension. "That wig doesn't fit you Rom." She easily pulled off the long hair wig from her sister's head, revealing her short, yet equally prettily prepared hairstyle.
"Wha-!?" Uzume was flabbergasted.
"Bleh, no fair big sis!" Ram stretched out her tongue and pouted.
"Don't act like a brat."
"How could you tell it was her?" Uzume couldn't believe it.
"Hm? Because Rom is Rom." Blanc answered her question with a lazy gaze.
Seriously? Uzume felt a gorge open in her chest from defeat. Nothing could compare to a sister's intuition in the end.
"I gotta put on my own costume, so you two behave, got it?" Blanc put her hands on the twins' heads and then walked off towards the changing rooms.
As soon as Lowee's CPU was out of their field of vision the little sisters put the wig back on and shuffled around while Uzume was still watching Blanc leave.
"Your big sis sure is somethin', right?" She turned back, just to stare into the mirror images again!
""Can you tell who is who?"" They repeated their riddle with glee.
"Youuu… Will be super impressed when I figure it out right now!" She wasn't going to give up easily. Big boasts wouldn't lead her to success though. She needed a strategy.
That's right! A flash of lightning went through her mind. She had just remembered. Ram didn't like horsebird meat, while Rom was neutral on it! If she just made them both eat some she could tell by their reactions.
"Do you have some horsebird legs with ya?" She asked excitedly.
""We didn't bring any food.""
"Figures…" Uzume's shoulders slumped down. Relying on unavailable items was pointless.
"Oh my, little Ram you have some dust on your shoulder." Vert's relaxed voice tickled their ears and the busty goddess appeared right behind the twins as if she had simply sprung into existence.
"Eh?" Ram looked surprised when Vert wiped her shoulder and rid it of dust.
"That wig is very adorable little Rom, but I suspect it does not bring out your natural charm as much." She tenderly pulled off the wig from Rom's head just as Blanc did before.
"EHH?!" Uzume fell into despair. This hadn't anything to do with family relations anymore! "Y-you could tell so easily Vertsy?"
"Naturally, because Ram is Ram." Vert replied casually. Her standard smile accompanied those words, showing that it really was no big deal.
"Meh, who cares about some dust?" Ram snorted and looked at Vert with displeasure.
"You might take a little too much after your dear sister." Vert said with a barely hidden sigh. "Your natural cuteness should be emphasized with all possible expenditure. I am certain Blanc would agree."
"Blanc doesn't care about it either!" Ram objected.
"My, you underestimate how much she adores you two." Vert said confidently.
"Wow, Vertsy knows a lot." Uzume whispered towards Rom. The calmer twin nodded.
"Miss Vert has been with big sis for a long time. They always argue…. About something. But they really know each other's… likes and dislikes." She clumsily explained. Relationships were still too complex for them.
"Didn't think of that." It made sense now. Vertsy was hanging out with Blanny so much that they could read each other's minds at this point (or so she heard), so of course she could tell the twins apart!
"Speaking of Blanc." Vert regretfully ended her small talk with Ram. "Wherever did she disappear to this time? She seems to be avoiding me once again." There was a hint of impatience in her voice.
"She went to get changed." Uzume explained unaware of Vert's slightly shifting facial features.
"Is that so? How odd." She said with a neutral smile. "Do you happen to know where she intends to do so?"
"That way." The redhead pointed in the direction of the changing room that Blanc picked out.
"Thank you very much." Vert waved them goodbye for now and slipped through the crowd.
"I feel bad for big sis…" Ram said with lines for eyes.
"Huh? Why's that?" Uzume was clueless as ever. "Better put that wig back on now Romsy, 'cause I'm going to do it for real this time." She cracked her knuckles. 'Losing' wasn't part of her dictionary.
The twins gave her bright smiles. They certainly enjoyed themselves. After putting the wig back on the girls shuffled while Uzume closed her eyes. Then they called out to her that they were ready.
Uzume opened her eyes and focused. There must have been some obvious hint she was overlooking. She wasn't part of their family and neither did she know Blanc that well, so it couldn't be helped if she was at a disadvantage. It just made sense for the other two to get it instantly. But if she just studied their every move and quirk….
The CPU candidates were standing perfectly still. They might as well have been clones!
"You are… no you are… It's definitely…" Her finger went back and forth between them uncertainly. She closed her eyes and pointed at the left twin. "You are Romsy!" In the end she only could leave it to chance?
The girls opened their mouths to reveal the truth, but just then another person approached and stopped them.
"It's not nice to trick people Ram." Nepgear raised a finger and scolded the right twin.
"Miss Nepgear! That dress… I really like it." Rom pulled off her wig and smiled at the new arrival.
"Aw, thanks. You are really cute too! Did you put on some lip gloss?"
"Ew, no. That stuff tastes bad!" Ram denied it vehemently.
"You aren't supposed to eat it!"
"S-so I was right!" Uzume suddenly raised her fist above her head and cheered. "What's that about tricking me though?"
"They are both wearing wigs." Nepgear explained. Ram pulled off her long haired wig and then the short-hair wig below it.
"Is she a matryoshka doll?!" Uzume jerked back in surprise.
"Wasn't your head really hot?" Gear asked concernedly.
"I don't feel hot at all. I'm cooling my head with magic." Ram replied with a smug grin.
"Kind of a waste of SP…"
"Hehehe, let's find someone else to play with Rom!" Ram took her sister's hands and they ran off giggling.
"I was utterly defeated. I suck. Can't even tell my friends apart." Uzume accepted her shame. "Gearsy could do it, so I should've been able to as well."
"I've known them for a bit longer." Nepgear said diplomatically.
"Thanks Gearsy." Uzume released her breath and then put her hands on her waist. "Anyway, good to see ya again. And lookin' all elegant too."
"It's a really important day." Nepgear said with a hint of excitement. "Thanks so much for letting us hold the wedding here." She added and bowed her head.
"Hey, no need to hunch down for me! This ain't much trouble at all. I get that you don't wanna do this in a Basilicom or public church."
They had requested to hold the wedding in the Zero nation for many reasons. This building was an old mansion in one of the forests, far away from the main city. It was just secluded enough to be out of the public's eye, but still not hard to reach by foot.
"But it's a little rundown actually…" Uzume put a hand to her chin and looked slightly unhappy.
"I think it is really fancy!" Nepgear disagreed. "It's not rundown at all. You even gave it this new paint job."
"Haha, that part was fun. You shoulda seen Umio with a paintbrush in his mouth. He tried his best to hold it in his fins first, but it slipped away so much that he covered himself in white paint." She laughed at the memory and Nepgear chuckled at the thought as well.
"Are you not going to change as well Uzume?" Nepgear suddenly realized that the redhead was wearing her causal outfit.
"Ah… about that." Uzume scratched her cheek. "You'll see." She didn't want to elaborate at the moment apparently. "Where's Unisy? Didn't you arrive together?" She looked around curiously.
"Actually that's what I wanted to ask you about. So you didn't see her come by here?" Nepgear tilted her head.
"Nope. Didn't even get to see so much as a hair of her yet. I was busy preparing some stuff in the chapel." Uzume explained.
"I see. No problem, I am sure that I will find her if I keep looking." She clapped her hands.
"See you at the main event then~" Uzume saluted with two fingers.
"Kyaaaa spiders!" Dengekiko yelped and got Uzume's attention.
"You're such a crybaby." Famitsu said with barely hidden schadenfreude.
"S-shut up! They are just gross and- eeek! D-don't put your cold fingers on my neck!"
"I'll take care of 'em!" Uzume ran towards the direction of the 'emergency'.
Nepgear kept asking around for Uni, but none of the guests had seen her yet. What kind of secret route could she have taken?
"Still on the prowl for her Gear?" IF suddenly came out a side room with a raised brow.
"Yes. I can't imagine what was so important that she still didn't come back." Nepgear crossed her arms and looked at the ceiling.
"Well I don't know about her, but at least I've found out about the cause for another mystery." The guild member said with one hand on her side.
"Golly, which one?" She looked back at IF.
"The schedule might get delayed, because the bride is fashionably late." IF shrugged.
"Which one?"
"Which one do you think?" IF's green eyes dulled and she gave her a dry smile.
"Sis…" Nepgear let her head sink. "She couldn't have overslept… right?"
"I don't think even Nep would be that carefree. Hasn't she been excited for a while now?"
"Yes, she talked about nothing else since Miss Noire suggested the date." Nepgear smiled. She remembered that day well, because Neptune had never shouted louder than that time. The shock had petrified her for a few hours straight.
Noire had made the arrangements beforehand as a surprise and it certainly worked.
"Compa is looking out at the main entrance to tell us when she arrives. I think it's pointless, because… you know Nep." IF smirked.
Both of them had the same thought. If Neptune was going to appear at this wedding then it was definitely going to be a unique entrance.
"Did you check the cake yet?"
"First thing I did. It's not hollow."
"That's a tiny bit disappointing." Nepgear scratched her cheek.
"I actually feel the same. Hanging around that whirlwind for so long must have made me lose my common sense." IF shrugged and walked back into the entrance hall. "Lady Noire is over there. She didn't see Uni either, but if you want to talk to her before the main event…"
"I will!" Nepgear said and swiftly moved into the side-room.
Inside the air was strained. A palpable feeling of tension gripped her. The center of that stressful atmosphere was the hunched over CPU. Noire was leaning over a table with papers. And she was constantly mumbling.
"The catering should have arrived hours ago…. Where is that blockhead? …why did Falcom not come to get her speech yet… When will that idiot finally arrive? …. how are we going to fit all these people into the chapel… It's so late already, where is she?!"
Every other line was about Neptune. And she was getting increasingly more frustrated.
Nepgear gulped.
"Miss Noire?" She slightly raised her voice.
"Neptune?!" Noire spun around. She had seen a glimpse of a purple hair, but then her alerted face went back to a strained façade of calm. "Oh it's just you Nepgear." Even if she didn't mean anything by it, that was kind of a rude greeting.
"Y-yep. Just me. Sis hasn't come yet, but I'm sure she is on the way." She tried to act as light-hearted as possible to ease the mood.
"It's just like her to make trouble at the finish line." Noire sighed and leaned against the table. "And yet that's only one of many problems we're dealing with today."
"I heard you mention a few things." Nepgear nodded.
"Never you mind this stuff though. I heard you were searching for Uni. She hasn't come to me yet. If everything had been going smoothly I wouldn't even be here still dressed in these rags." Noire pointed at her normal outfit that most people would consider pretty amazing. But compared to a wedding dress even the cutest outfit paled. "I'm sure she would be disappointed."
It was a troubling sight, this exhausted Noire. Nepgear felt something swell in her chest.
"Then please get to the changing rooms now Miss Noire." Nepgear suddenly made a determined expression.
"Huh?" She gave her a confused look.
"The bride shouldn't have to worry about all of this! Please relax and just think of the ceremony while we take care of the details." She put a hand on her chest and said so without room for objection.
"Who is 'we'?" Noire tilted her head to the side.
"Everyone." Nepgear replied seriously.
"You can't be serious. This is my responsibility-" She raised a hand to calm her down, but…
"Who decided that? This should be the happiest day of your lives, so don't bother with the logistics. Miss Noire and Sis don't need to worry about anything today." The purple haired girl was starting to get into higher gears. Soon she would be unstoppable.
Normally Noire would have put up an insurmountable wall and stopped Nepgear in her tracks. Under normal circumstances she couldn't allow herself to be pushed aside and treated like a child that needed to be spared from the complex adult world.
But on this day… Just this once…
Noire closed her eyes and finally let the tension fade from her body.
"Would you do that for me then?"
"Leave it to us!" Nepgear smiled brightly.
"Thank you." Noire smiled faintly and stretched her arms and back. On this day she just wanted to be a girl. A girl that would give her greatest vow to the one she loved.
She walked out to go change into her wedding dress, but just before she left she added one more line.
"If you see Neptune… send her straight to me." There were a myriad of different emotions and meanings in those few words. In some countries it was custom that the bride should not be seen by her significant other before the wedding ceremony, but clearly Noire didn't care about that anymore.
"Will do." Nepgear gave her word.
As Noire left, she was left with the papers on the table. A guest list, a speech, some receipts.
The catering company was indeed supposed to have arrived some time ago. The guests were probably starting to feel hungry already. What might have happened to the delivery?
About two kilometers from the estate a certain food transport was parking on the bumpy forest path. Smoke was escaping its hood. The floating vehicle was not hovering over the ground anymore, but instead stuck in the mud and leaves. The rustling and clanging from the front signaled that the wreck was being worked on intensely.
"Please Lady Uni, you s-shouldn't be d-doing this dirty work. Y-your dress will get ruined." Steamax begged her to stop, kneeling behind her.
"Who else is going to take care of this then? Hand me that wrench." Shockingly the mechanic at the front was really Uni. The CPU candidate looked stern as she handled the truck with precisely aimed hit and screws.
"I apologize…" Steamax handed the tools with a guilty expression(?).
"Why on earth are you delivering food to the wedding in the first place?" The raven haired girl asked between the clanging.
"It was the General's idea. We are investing in a v-variety of fields."
"Where did you get all that money from?"
"The General's biography sold quite well." Steamax told her with some pride.
"That tacky book about business scandals?"
"…" For some reason the robot ninja fell silent. He was unable to object.
"The whole engine is busted. What did you do with this poor child?" Uni huffed while tearing off and throwing a burned wire out of the engine space.
"I w-wasn't d-driving d-dangerously I swear!"
"Do you even have a license?"
If robots could sweat, Steamax would have turned into a waterfall.
"Shady as ever." Uni shook her head. "Where's goldie then?"
"The General has already gone ahead to prepare the buffet."
"Without the food?!"
The repairs weren't going too well. In the worst case scenario Steamax would just have to carry all of the boxes by himself. Uni was getting annoyed by this vehicle's stubbornness to die. It was a really old model that would usually spend its last rusting days on the junkyard already. It was just like Affimojas to cut costs on something important.
"You were lucky I noticed the smoke cloud from the window. This is usually a deserted forest." She said while wiping sweat on her sleeve. That motion made Steamax hold his head in cringe. He was really concerned about Uni's outfit.
"Your kindness knows no equal Lady Uni! But there is no need for you to dirty your hands. I shall carry the entire load right this instance!" He put the tools back into the box and jumped on top of the truck and then raised the tarp to get to the load below.
Where a girl was currently stuffing her face with pastries.
A very familiar looking purple haired girl.
"….!" Steamax was stunned into silence. This girl had given him many a (pleasurable) trauma before, but more importantly, she was the star of today's event! Just what was she doing on his truck?!
"Howdy shere robutt mahn!" Neptune greeted him with a peace sign. She didn't stop chewing.
"Steamax, what are you doing? Stop fooling around. You can't carry all that food." Uni was getting impatient.
She was certainly correct. If this girl sized mutant hamster wasn't stopped from stuffing her cheeks soon the entire load would disappear!
"W-w-w-what are y-y-you d-do-do-oing here Lady Neptune?!" He stuttered with a muted voice.
"Wut? I'm juz here to get mai package." She replied as if he was weird for even asking.
Nobody had ever taught her to swallow before talking? Steamax had not the strength to scold this monster. Instead he looked around for any signs of observers and then he handed Neptune a package from a secret compartment in his chest.
"D-didn't you wish to receive it in the backroom?" He confirmed.
"Yeah, but I was mega excited and I always get really hungry when I am stressed. Ya know how it works. Ice-cream when a girl is sad, creampuffs when she's mad and everything in-between when she gets married way too soon and doesn't know how to cope."
Steamax did not understand. Not the least of all because he never consumed food. He just accepted Neptune's gibberish silently.
"This is some five star grub! Thanks for the meal and the package!" Nep jumped out of the truck and stretched. She was wearing her normal hoodie dress and seemed to be out of place compared to the other people back at the mansion. "See ya at the altar busy boy~!" She said and ran off.
Steamax felt his heat processors fail. Even if the meaning was wrong, he still got promised to see a cute girl at an altar soon. Even a ninja could dream.
"S-t-e-a-m-a-x?" Uni's sweet, yet demanding voice send a shiver down his metal spine. She hadn't picked up on the exchange or seen Neptune at all from behind the hood.
"I i-i-i-insist! Let me carry your burden Lady Uni!" He striked a pose of a honorable ninja dying for their master.
"It's your burden in the first place." Uni shot him down instantly.
"Even so…!"
"I could get it running again with some better tools." Uni said seriously and rubbed her itching face, which spread some machine oil on her skin.
"Indeed. This beast has not yet roared its last." MAGES. agreed empathetically.
Uni almost hit her head against the hood, while Steamax reflexively used his ninpo to switch his body with a wooden log. Neither had any idea how the witch of science had managed to get into the car seat. But there she sat, as if she owned the truck.
"W-when did you-?" Uni looked around the corner to say the blue haired girl look down with a intrigued expression.
"I happened to cross paths with the essence of this old steed. Do not fret. Your hands can yet return it to life." She nodded encouragingly.
"I don't know how with what I have here." She looked down apologetically. To disappoint someone who looked at her with faith like that still made her inferiority complex flare up.
"Then I will lend you this." She pulled up her magic staff.
"Am I supposed to fix it with a spell…?" Uni grabbed the staff with a bemused expression. "Then you could do a better job than me."
"Some magic comes not from quantum-molecular movements and ionic energy transfers." MAGES. said while stroking the leather like covering on the wheel.
"I don't know ANY magic actually."
"This magic trick only requires a small kick." The witch said and literally kicked the staff in Uni's hands. Suddenly the tip sprung open and revealed a multitude of various tools integrated into it!
"…" Uni made a poker face while staring at it. That changed things.
"A mad scientist always has use for a screwdriver. And while installing it I thought why not add some other useful things?" She inspected the gas pedal intently.
"Some foresight." The raven haired girl didn't even question it and just moved back to the engine.
"She is due for a grand upgrade, no?" MAGES. had way too much fun with this old-timer.
"What do you have in mind?" Uni's interest was piqued. She wasn't a gearhead like her girlfriend, but she was still a tinkerer at heart.
"After we finish our task she shall carry us to the very stars!"
"That's about a million times too far!" But it sounded fun…
Steamax watched the girls' work spiral out of control and silently grabbed some boxes from the back. If he returned a few times he should be able to make it without pulling their attention.
"So many wonderful beauties in one place." Million Arthur marveled at the crowd while cupping her chin suavely.
"This is a holy ceremony of matrimony, so please control yourself." Cheekama floated next to Arthur and gave absolutely no quarter today. The blonde girl's daydreams would have to stay dreams.
"Don't treat me like a fool. I know that much." Arthur said cheerfully. "Once I unite Britain and become King I can get married as well. All the cute girls will beg me to marry them!"
"In case you should get married you would have to choose among someone of the same standing." Cheekama floated closer and tried to deter this line of thought.
"So a gorgeous princess, huh?" She smiled while drooling a little.
"Just what is marriage to you?" The fairy girl was at the end of her wits as usual.
"Yay food!" RED suddenly ran right past them towards a table where food just had been prepared. The buffet wasn't opened yet, but RED never really cared much for rules.
"A spirited one!" Arthur was fascinated by the carefree act.
"Yummy! Hi there." She put a snack into her mouth and then noticed Million Arthur and Cheekama close-by. "Did you want to become my wifey?"
"I apologize, but I'm not King yet. We can squishy-squish, but I'm not allowed to accept the ring." She raised her hand in denial.
"What's that matter? A cute girl can be a wifey whenever she wants." RED declared with a completely serious expression. The golden dragon statue around her waist and shoulder was staring at the crowned girl with importance.
"Ohhh! I see merit in your words!" She pumped her fist excitedly.
"Today my wifeys are wiving each other. If everyone became a wifey we could all be happy!" RED shared her thoughts on the current situation. The wedding seemed to have spurred on some mysterious idea inside her psyche.
"I cannot follow your words at all, but they ring true nonetheless!"
"How are there two of her kind now?" Cheekama facepalmed.
Unaware of the newly shaped bond between that duo (and their increasingly nefarious plans), Nepgear wandered past them. She was checking the guest list as well as looking out for someone specific.
"Are you certain we should not take this outside? We might damage the interior." Falcom asked with her sword raised in front of her.
"Nom… nom nom… Hm?" God Eater was holding her giant sword up like it was made of paper and kept noming on a donut.
"I don't mind testing our skills, but this is the music stage Miss 5pb. intends to use later." The red-head said with a wry smile.
"It's okay. I never miss a swing." The twintailed girl replied without worries.
"I like your confidence." Falcom was that kind of person after all. Someone who loved hot-blooded battles and adventure.
"I'm sorry about this Falcom! Please keep her busy!" K-sha yelled from upstairs.
"I don't really get it, but it looks like I don't have a choice anyway." She noted as the giant sword came her way. She dodged it just in time. To her surprise God Eater really stopped her blade from cutting the wooden stage.
"Stooop! Why are you fighting?" Nepgear jumped between them and held out her hands to push them apart.
"Nepgear! Good to see you." Falcom greeted her casually.
"I don't know why either. Secretary K-sha told me to spar with someone." God Eater explained and pulled out some bread to nibble on.
"K-sha?" Nepgear didn't get it. Since when was she that kind of ringmaster?
"She told me that I need to keep her busy until, 'they' are both exhausted." Falcom said while sheathing her blade.
"Nom… hm? Abbadon calm down." God Eater talked to a cute black creature on her shoulder. It was salivating quite a bit.
"Is it because of that?" Nepgear pointed at Abbadon.
"I didn't feed him today. I think he wants to eat everyone's clothes." She explained between bites.
"Ehh?!" Nepgear jerked back.
"I see. There are some fine clothes on display today." Falcom nodded understandingly.
"W-we can't allow that!"
"I can't stop Abbadon once he gets like this. But during fights he gets distracted." God Eater raised her sword again.
"Then let me keep you busy." Falcom unsheathed her sword again.
"This is bad… but I need to talk to you Falcom." Gear was unsure what to do.
"Did my ears hear correctly? This creature devours clothing?" Suddenly Million Arthur and RED walked in on their fight.
"He eats pretty much anything. But he likes underwear the best." God Eater nodded.
"Fascinating! I will face you in combat if you don't mind. Should I best your CALIBER we will discuss this creature in detail. Are we in agreement?" Arthur was fired up! She drew her ornate sword with fighting spirit.
"I don't mind. The chief always says we need to learn from foreigners." The sparsely clad soldier girl agreed way too easily.
"I am glad there are so many talented fighters around." Falcom said amusedly.
"This is a wedding though?" Nepgear was frankly unable to follow this event.
"Now, what did you want to talk about Nepgear?" Falcom moved aside and they sat down at a table.
"Uhm… it's about this speech. Miss Noire prepared it for you I think." The purple haired girl pulled out the note she had put into her dress pocket. She had sneaked a small peek at it. It was very lengthy and formal.
"Ahaha I remember Noire told me something about that." She laughed.
So she didn't think it was important?
"What is the speech for?" Nepgear asked curiously and leaned forward to hand it to her.
"I think it's the wedding speech. I'm the priest after all." Falcom took the note casually.
"Goodness!" Nepgear faceplanted on the table in shock. "Y-you are the priest?!" Also didn't she mean priestess?
"On one of my travels the old man from the church of the eternal flame taught me some stuff. I am officially qualified for the job of priest. Never wed anyone until now though." She grinned like it was a fun challenge.
"Your repertoire of jobs is amazing." Nepgear had no other words for that.
"You pick up some things when you do quests across the world." Falcom downplayed it and read the note. "Wow this is very… formal." She said exactly what Nepgear had thought as well.
"Miss Noire probably wants it to be as grandiose as possible." She surmised.
"Absolutely. But it's a bit…" She scratched her head. "You know, usually a priest weds two people under the grace of some deity. The point is to bless their relationship forever in the name of that religion." Surprisingly sobering words from her. "But that isn't the case here. Neptune and Noire are the goddesses of this world."
"I never thought of that…" Nepgear saw where she was coming from.
"Which means no matter what words I speak, they are blessed already! If those two get married then they have already a blessed relationship, whatever I say, they are bound to end up happy together." Falcom smiled widely and gave her a thumbs up.
"!" Nepgear looked up to her while holding her heart. Those words… they really touched her. She even felt her eyes get a bit moist. "Yes!" She wanted to believe that with all her heart as well. Falcom had a natural talent for speeches. She didn't need a script or a god to give her words power. Her feelings were enough. They couldn't have gotten a better 'priest'.
"If I kept rambling on that would just keep them from sealing the deal. A friend told me that I am a bit dense. I don't want to ruin the mood, so I will keep it short." She slightly stretched out her tongue.
"Thank you so much." As the bride's sister she just wanted to express her gratitude.
"Alright. Let me check up on that duel for now. I am interested in that gunsword user." She winked. The red-head rose from her chair and left the note on the table.
Nepgear picked it up and folded it neatly. These were Noire's complex thoughts put into words. They deserved to be preserved at least.
There was still more on her list. She would make sure that the wedding proceeded without problems! This would be a happy day for everyone!
(To be continued in: The final episode)