New chapter! YAY! So, I am on vacation at the moment and finally had some time to just sit and write without anything else needing to be done!

I hope you all like this chapter, its a little more emotional than my others but i really enjoyed writing it. I hope to have another one up and ready for you by the end of my vacation!

Let me know what you think!

Lots of love,

~!DDM!~

"Well what?" I asked.

"I'm still a little skeptical but Kate thinks that John has a thing for you." My blush deepened. "You have been with him for hours in that little room and I know him. If he really does have a thing for you, even confined to that bed, he will have found away to make a move on you."

He studied my steadily growing blush and groaned.

"I was so sure she was wrong." he grumbled. "I mean come on, you are a machine for God sake's!" he started pacing in front of me now and I could tell that he was starting to work himself up. I looked over at Kyle and Star, glad that they were occupied far enough away that they wouldn't be able to hear him.

"What could he be thinking? I mean... come on! Machine's don't even age! You can pass for human right now, but what happens years from now? He is going to get older while you go in looking just the way you are now! How can you have a relationship like that? Knowing you are going to die but your wife will always look like she is in her twenties. Older guys may fantasize about being with a younger woman but everyone wants someone they can grow old with. He won't ever have that!"

"Barns..." I tried, wanting to cut him off before he really started to escalate to even more hurtful things but he just continued as though I hadn't spoken.

"Not to mention how strong you probably are. The first time he really pisses you off and you smack him, he will need a whole new jaw!" he was pacing harder now, gripping the screwdriver tightly. "And what if, God forbid, he gets really serious, what about kids, a family!"

My stomach dropped. I hadn't thought about any of that at all.

"It's not even like there is even the slightest chance it could happen. No matter how pretty the outer package is you are still made of metal on the inside."

Tears welled up.

I have always wanted children.

It never even occurred to me to think about whether or not I could have children due to my new machine status.

"What man, doesn't want kids?" he was still pacing.

He just kept rubbing salt into the new wound.

"In a time like this, when kids are so important, to keep humans from dieing out..."

He was right...

"There is just no way a relationship with a metal woman could give him a family!"

I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep my sudden, heartbroken sob from being too loud. The tears were flowing freely now. Barns finally stopped his pacing and slowly turned to look at me, sitting on my oil drum, crying quietly. He looked surprisingly guilty.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I slid off my oil drum. I just turned and walked away from him, hurrying out of the garage as fast as possible. I should have just gone to my room like I had wanted to earlier. I stayed close to the wall as I hurried down the halls that were quickly becoming familiar. I made my way to my room, staying out of people's way as much as possible, trying not to draw attention to myself.

I finally got to my hall and almost made it to my room when I say Blair and Marcus turn the corner coming towards me. I knew the second Marcus saw that I was upset but I didn't want to take him from Blair so I focused on getting to my room. I saw him hesitate out of the corner of my eye and look at Blair but she just smiled and nodded. I was having trouble opening my door, my hands fumbling on the latch, my vision almost completely obscured by my tears, when he reached me.

His hands gently took mine off the door and opened it for me guiding me into the dim room beyond. I was sobbing again by the time he sat on my bed and gathered me up in his lap.

"What's wrong Des?" he asked gently.

Through sobs and hiccups I told him what Barns had said. He rocked me back and forth slowly, stroking my hair. He didn't say anything, just let me cry myself out. I knew he couldn't think of anything comforting to say and that was okay. When my sobs had turned into nothing more than hiccups and shuddering breathes, I shifted, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Odessa." he whispered.

"I've always wanted children." I sobbed softly again.

He just rocked me again.

"You don't know if its true or not." he said softly.

"But I am made out of metal! I am sure when Skynet was putting me together, reproduction wasn't on their list of necessary 'accessories' for a Terminator!" a fresh wave of tears made their way down my face.

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better." he admitted, holding me tighter as my tears slowly tapered off again.

"This is enough." I assured him cuddled close, taking comfort in his presence. We were silent for a few minutes. "I cry a lot huh?"

"Not nearly." it was his turn to assure me. "You aren't hard like the people here. You are still sensitive while most of them have become extremely desensitized in order to survive. There is nothing wrong with expressing your feeling, whether good or bad."

"I just feel so weak when I cry. I felt like such a fool when I freaked out after Chet downloaded stuff from me. I just feel so inadequate, especially around people like Kate. She is so strong."

"She has also been in an extremely different environment than you. She just has different strengths than you do." he said, his voice firm, contrasting with the gentle motion of his thumb brushing the tears from my cheeks.

"Yeah, she can have children and I can't." I whispered. He sighed, still unsure of what to say. I decided to change the subject before I started to cry again. "I am sorry I took you from Blair."

"Don't worry about it. We talked, she understands. Maybe...maybe you should talk to her about this." he suggested.

"Why?" I pulled back to look up at him, he shrugged.

"She is a woman, she may be able to make you feel better than I can. Besides, I'd like you two to spend more time together, bond, you know? I'm telling Kyle and Star the same thing. I want to start integrating Blair into our little mismatched family. I don't want anyone just tolerating one another, I want everyone to get along."

"Alright, I will."

"You should get some sleep." he moved me from his lap to the bed. I nodded and yawned slightly, feeling emotionally drained. He knelt down and started unlacing my boots and I was so worn out I couldn't muster the strength to stop him. After he removed my boots he made me move up to the head of the bed and under the blanket.

"Do you have anything besides the jacket to sleep in?" I shook my head. "Here." he took off his own jacket and stripped off his shirt, handing it to me.

"But..." I tired.

"No buts, put it on. It's not even that dirty." he chuckled. "I stole it a few hours ago from Barns so I will just go and snatch another one later." he turned away as I unzipped my jacket, sliding it off before putting the tee-shirt on. I cleared my throat when I was done and he took my jacket and hung it up before putting his own back on.

"Get some sleep." he said gently, kissing my forehead. I snuggled down as he left, closing the door quietly behind him.

I wasn't asleep long when the sound of my door opening woke me. I lifted my head and drowsily looked around. I didn't see anything but then then bed moving alerted me to another presence. My eyes adjusted and I saw Star, looking shyly at me, one knee on the bed. I smiled at her to show I wasn't mad and pulled the blanket back, indicating she could join me. She quickly kicked off her shoes and crawled up beside me, I tucked us both in. She snuggled close and I wrapped an arm around her, both of us fell asleep soon after.

The sound of knocking was what woke me later. Without windows it was impossible to tell if it was night or day but I felt pretty rested so I figured I had slept quite a while. I carefully detached myself from Star, making sure not to wake her and made my way toward the sliver of light that gave away the location of the door. The person knocked again as I stumbled into the door.

Blair stood on the other side, tray of food in hand. She opened her mouth to say something but stopped when she looked me up and down. I looked down at myself and blushed when I realized I was only wearing the pair of boxers I first took when I woke up and Marcus' shirt. She cleared her throat to get my attention again and raised the tray in her hands.

"Marcus sent me." she said simply. When I didn't say anything she started to look a little less sure of herself. "Can I come in?" she asked.

I just nodded, putting a finger to my lips to indicate she needed to be quiet and stepped back to let her in. I flicked on a small lamp and she put the tray down on the small table on the right side of the room, the only surface not covered in books, and gestured for her to sit in one of the chairs next to it.

"Marcus told me what Barns said." she said quietly once I sat in the remaining chair. I sighed.

"He shouldn't have."

"Yes he should." she said firmly. "You have done a lot around here, some may think you haven't earned much respect but you sure as hell have at least gained the right to common courtesy! He would have never dared say those things if you were any other woman."

"But I am not any other woman."

"He still had no right to say things like that to you." she shook her head. "Wait until Connor finds out! Barns is lucky the man is still recovering or he would kick his ass!"

"It's really not that big of a deal Blair. I just overreacted because it came as a surprise. There isn't any reason to bring John into this." she smirked at me.

"Kate and I talk Des. She told me about what she walked in on yesterday. She said he has talked to her about you while you were off on your many adventures. He apparently told her to give the two of you time alone together." I flushed. "She doesn't exactly approve but Connor is a big boy and can make his own decisions."

She looked at me expectantly, waiting.

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Don't 'what' me, Des, we are supposed to be 'bonding'." I laughed when she used her air quotations. "Spill."

"What do you want to know?"

"Do you like him back?" she asked playfully.

"I...I think so."

"What do you mean, you think so? Either you do or you don't."

"The thought of being in a relationship is totally foreign to me"

"What do you mean?" she asked again.

"I've never been in one before." I admitted, embarrassed.

"You're kidding!" she laughed and I hushed her, glancing at a still sleeping Star.

"I am not."

"Wow..." she shook her head.

"I know, pathetic right?"

"Just a little." she snickered and I had to laugh to.

"So the prospect of being in a relationship is more than a little scary." she nodded in understanding.

"It is for most people." she said gently. "Opening up to another person is a big step, especially the first time."

"He is so confident though, even laying in his sick bed he is so sure of himself and I'm just...not." I sighed.

"He is used to being a leader, he has proved himself time and time again to be good under pressure. If he wasn't as confident as he is, he wouldn't still be alive today."

"Yeah, but..."

"No buts." she said firmly. Spending time with Marcus had obviously rubbed off on her. "If you hadn't have died, as a doctor you would be similar. You do have confidence, when you are holding a scalpel. You just need to learn to be that confident all the time. Technically, you are still young, Connor has a few years on you, different experiences, different personality. Let him teach you, show you how to be confident in yourself. Part of being in a relationship is learning from each other."

I listened to everything she said, taking it in to think about later.

"When did you become so wise?" I asked playfully.

"Just recently." she smiled.