Chapter 26 Funeral
Ranma demonstrated a kata for his new friend. "Wow," the other boy exclaimed. "That's cool!"
"My Pop is even better than me," Ranma said proudly. "He's training me to be an honorable martial artist like him!"
The other boy watched Ranma with rapt attention. He idly swung back and forth on an old swing set. He and Ranma had met that afternoon while playing at the park. They were the same age - seven years old - and had hit it off immediately.
"Why are you wearing pink pants?" Ranma asked. The pants had been bugging him ever since he'd met the boy.
The other boy looked embarrassed. "They're not pink," he retorted. "They're red."
"No, they're pink," Ranma said. "Are those girl's pants?"
"No!" The boy's face flushed a deep crimson. He stammered, "They're not girl's pants!" He stared at the ground. "No, that's a lie. I... I got them from the neighbor girl. My dad can't afford new ones, so they're all I have."
"It's okay," Ranma said. "My dad can't afford new clothes either. Why didn't your dad just steal something then?"
"Stealing is wrong," the boy replied.
Ranma didn't have an answer for that.
"What school do you go to?" the boy asked. "I've never seen you around here before."
"School?" Ranma replied. "I don't hafta do that. I'm a martial artist."
"You don't have to go to school?" the boy asked, surprised. "I wish I were a martial artist then."
"It's lots of fun," Ranma said. "but it's really hard. I hafta train all day. But we get to travel all over. Pops says next year we're going to China!"
"I wish I could go to China," the other boy replied. "I don't think we could afford it, though."
Ranma frowned. "It cost money to go to China?" he asked.
"Of course," the other said. "It's clear across the ocean."
This surprised Ranma. "I wonder how we'll get there then?"
Ranma performed another kata for his friend. He wasn't the brilliant martial artist that his dad was, not yet, but he'd practiced these kata so many times that they were second nature. His movements were fluid.
"That's so cool!" the other boy said. "Just like in the movies!"
"That's right," Ranma replied. "Like Bruce Lee. I'm going to help people and protect the weak."
Ranma opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. She was in a soft bed with a warm comforter over her. She was disoriented momentarily, then recalled who and where she was.
My first day after the death of my father, she thought. She reflected on that a moment. She ran her hand over her head - still bald.
She rolled out of bed and into a quick kata. She paused when her eyes fell on her empty closet.
One dress, Ranma thought. That was all the clothing she owned in the world. No workout clothing. No nothing.
It was funny how empty the room felt. Until a year ago Ranma had never even had a room of her own to sleep in, let along enough possessions to fill it. In just a few short weeks she'd become so used to having a room filled with dresses, stuffed animals, and just plain stuff that the sudden lack of it all felt strange.
Pops even destroyed the manga and anime that Miyuki gave me, Ranma thought.
"Morning Sis!" Akane called out, stepping into Ranma's side of the room. "Ready for our workout?"
Ranma stared at Akane as if she'd declared herself the Queen of Pluto. "What?" Akane asked.
"Sis?" Ranma repeated.
Akane smiled weakly. "Well, yes. We are supposed to be sisters, aren't we? I had a hard time with that before, but now that... now that we aren't engaged... well, I thought I'd make a new effort." She studied Ranma a moment. "How long are you going to remain bald?"
"I dunno," Ranma replied. "My hair doesn't grow at lightning speed anymore."
"Cologne could give you a potion..."
"Yeah, I know," Ranma replied. "Maybe I'll keep it like this 'til after the funeral though. That seems right, somehow."
Akane took in Ranma's mostly-empty room, with the single dress hanging in the closet. "You don't have anything to wear, do you?" she asked.
"Just the one dress," Ranma admitted. "Pops was very thorough."
"You'll need to go shopping then," said Akane. But for now you can borrow something of mine. No underwear of course."
"Thanks, Akane."
"Anything for my sister!" Akane said brightly. She disappeared to her side of the room.
"I do need to go shopping," Ranma said. ":The problem is I got no money. I don't think Mom can afford it, either. For one thing, we need to pay for the funeral..."
"Ask Miyuki then," Akane called out. "I'm sure she'd love to buy you new clothes."
Ranma didn't doubt that in the least, but she wasn't keen on having a wardrobe entirely composed of lolita outfits. "She's still at the hospital, I think," said Ranma. "She was worried sick about Sachiko and Yoriko."
Akane reappeared with a white blouse and yellow dress with a purple flower print. The blouse had short, poofed sleeves, while the dress had a full skirt and tied with a large bow in the back. "Here," Akane said. "You can keep this, it's an old dress. I don't need it back."
Ranma held the dress up. "Kinda girly, don't you think?"
"You are a girl, Sis," Akane said.
Ranma nodded, not quite sure what to make of Akane's sudden change. "Thanks, Akane," she said.
"Sis," said Akane.
"What?"
"Call me Sis," Akane said. "We're sisters, Ranma. I want you to get used to the idea too."
"Ah... okay. Sis," Ranma replied.
"I'll lend you a workout outfit, too," Akane said. "I still have my old one. Just let me dig it up..." She vanished to her side of the room again.
"I had a dream," Ranma said. "About a boy I met when I was seven. It's funny, but now I can't stop thinking about him. I only knew him for a couple of days. I don't even remember his name, or maybe I never knew it. But he wore these pink pants that were obviously girl's pants, because they were given to him by a neighbor and his family couldn't afford anything else. They were really poor. But still, Pops abused their generosity and stole food from them.
"I don't know why that's stuck in my head all these years. It's not like Pops hadn't stolen from people dozens, maybe hundreds of times before that. Maybe it was because of those pants. Pops drilled into me his ideas for what men should be like, so pink pants just struck me as horribly wrong. I felt sorry for that boy, so poor he had to wear girl's pants. And then we robbed him..."
Akane appeared with one of her old yellow karate outfits. "Let's not talk about that today, shall we?" she said. "I don't know about you, Sis, but I just want to work out until I've forgotten everything else."
"Yeah," Ranma said. "That sounds like a good idea... Sis."
XXX
It was morning, and Miyuki was still in Yoriko's hospital room. She watched the end of yet another DVD.
"Oh, I love Sakura in that cute Alice in Wonderland outfit!" Miyuki exclaimed. "Especially when she shrinks down! I have to design an outfit like that for Ranma! Oh, and watching this reminds me: I need to make more sweets and bring them over for Ranma and Akane and everyone. A strawberry tart sounds so good right now!"
Miyuki glanced over to the bed. Yoriko was fast asleep. But her father, seated in a chair nearby, was awake. He was a big man - not tall, but with a thick, wide frame. Despite the suit he wore, it was obvious that he was well-muscled. He probably worked out, Miyuki thought. But between the suit, the dark glasses, and the grim, weathered face, there was no mistaking him for what he was: yakuza.
Of course, the two suited thugs who followed him everywhere were a dead giveaway, too. Right now they were guarding the doorway, a respectable distance from their boss. Miyuki giggled. She was quite certain that on the other side of the doorway, Miss Okomoto had at least one, if not two, security personnel watching over her. Her parents were relatively liberal with her and allowed her to do nearly anything that she took a fancy to, but there was always Miss Okomoto or some other security watching, and they certainly weren't going to leave her overnight in a hospital surrounded by yakuza without posting their own guards.
The big man seated near her stirred.
"Yorichan used to watch crap like this all the time," Hisaji Taoka said.
Miyuki frowned. Sharing a room with a yakuza boss was one thing, but she was not going to let him disparage her favorite genre. "It's not crap," she said. "I admit some of it is formulaic, but at its best expresses the hopes and dreams of a young girl for a world of romance, beauty and mystery."
"It's crap," Mr. Taoka repeated. "These are cartoons for seven-year-old girls. A girl your age shouldn't be watching this stuff."
"That's not true!" Miyuki replied. "These days most magical girl shows are also aimed at the 19-30 age male demographic." She paused, then added, "Which I admit isn't a demographic I fit into either, but the point is that there's nothing wrong with enjoying magical girl shows at my age.
"Actually," she added, "that's the style of magical girl team I'm trying to write... a magical girl team with a lot of action and combat."
Mr. Taoka looked at Miyuki. His facial expression didn't change, and the dark glasses hid his eyes, but somehow Miyuki got the impression that he was surprised. "You're writing a magical girl story?"
"Yes?" Miyuki had just remembered who she was arguing with - the head of a yakuza gang, their Kumichō. "I'm sorry you don't like them, Sir," she added.
"Damned silly girlish cartoons," he muttered. "Yorichan stopped watching these years ago. She outgrew them and realized that, as the daughter of the head of a chivalrous organization like ours, she shouldn't be into such frivolous things."
Miyuki nodded. "I see," she said. "Yoriko's suppose to be a tough yakuza girl, so she has to hid the fact that she likes magical girls."
"Who said she still likes them?" the man growled.
"Well, it's obvious to me," Miyuki replied. "Otherwise I don't know why she'd put up with me."
Mr. Taoka snorted derisively. "She's fond of you for some reason," he grumbled. "Damned if I can see why; you're worthless. I'm sure she puts up with you in spite of your childish magical girl fantasies."
He folded his arms and glared at Miyuki. His gaze was menacing. Miyuki reminded herself that here was a man who could have her killed if he so chose, and all her family status and security would not deter him.
After a moment, Taoka said, "So, girl, are you going to put in the next DVD, or just sit there looking stupid?"
Miyuki's eyebrows shot up. "I thought you didn't like them," she asked. "And Yoriko's asleep."
"Didn't we just establish that you're not playing these for Yoriko's benefit?" he growled. "You're doing this strictly to entertain yourself. Yoriko just puts up with it out of a fondness for you."
A light went off in Miyuki's head. She cocked an eye at the fierce yakuza boss. "Yes, that's right," she said. "I'm only keeping myself entertained while I watch over Yoriko. If I decide to watch magical girl anime in the meantime, I suppose you'll just have to suffer through it, won't you? Since you're seated here with me."
She pulled out the next DVD. "Oh, this is a good one!" she exclaimed. "Sakura has to deal with her evil double!"
The stoic thug only grunted.
XXX
The family shrine in the hallway was closed, with a white paper draped over it. Ranma knew that was something you did after a death in the family, but she couldn't remember why. Not having had a home growing up, much less a family shrine, there were a lot of things that everyone just knew but that Ranma had never learned.
Her mother was seated at the dining table. She was dressed in a black kimono. Ranma noticed this in passing, but her eyes fixated on the eggs, rice and miso soup set out for breakfast.
Akane took more notice. She glanced down at her yellow gi. "I guess I should be wearing black today?" she asked.
"It would be a good idea," Nodoka said. "You are part of the family, Akane, so at the very least you'll need to wear black for the wake and the funeral. We can pick up a black kimono for you later today."
"Yes, Aun… I mean Mother," Akane said.
"The same applies to you, Ranma," Nodoka continued. "I know you have little to wear at the moment, but that's just as well. We'll want to get you a black suit."
"A suit?"
"Yes," said Nodoka. "As the eldest son in the family it falls to you to make the funeral arrangements. I'll help you, Ranma, but for the time being it would be best if you remain male."
"You want me to be a guy?" Ranma replied. There was a glimmer of hope in her voice.
"Naturally," Nodoka replied. "You will need to talk to a lot of people. It would be hard to explain how my eldest son is also my daughter. We'll go shopping for both of you later today."
"Can we afford it?" Ranma asked. "A funeral's expensive, and I know you just spent a lot of money on me only a month or so ago…."
"We can certainly afford a proper wake and funeral for your father," Nodoka replied severely. "I would be a poor wife indeed if I had not planned ahead for such an emergency."
Ranma nodded her head. She looked thoughtful. "Mom... since Pops is gone, couldn't we just say that your pact with him is no longer valid?"
"What?" Nodoka replied. "Don't be silly, Ranma."
"But I thought…."
"Ranma, I made that pact with you as well as your father," stated Nodoka flatly.
"Yeah but I was three at the time…." said Ranma.
"Age makes no difference. I expect you to live up to your promises, Ranma. I know Genma taught you to do that, even if he was incapable of doing it himself. He always aspired to be more than he actually was, and he taught his son to be everything he failed to become.
"More importantly, graduating with good grades is the highest goal I can set for you, and the greatest gift I can give to you. Above all else, it's what I expect of you."
"Then I still gotta be a girl?"
"Proper grammar, Ranma. And yes, you do. You made a promise to me. I know you will fulfill that promise."
"I'm going to," Ranma replied. "I just thought we could renegotiate… like that bit about ritual suicide…."
"That is part of the pact," Nodoka said firmly. "Promises without consequences are made and forgotten too easily, Ranma. Never fear, I know you will uphold your end of the bargain, so it will never come to that. So let's have no more foolish talk. Nothing much has really changed, Ranma. I've lived thirteen years on my own with no husband by my side, so I don't expect that his death will change things that much. Don't feel you have to remain the head of the household in your Father's place. I really don't need a male head of the household. At the very least, it can wait until you've graduated.
"I want you to enjoy your last couple of years in high school. I want you to be free from any worry save the worry of studying and passing your tests. I want you to get good grades, Ranma. That's the whole purpose of you attending St. Hebereke, don't forget that."
"I haven't, Mother," Ranma said.
"Good. We'll find some male clothing for you to wear for the rest of this week. After the funeral, you will return to school as my daughter."
Ranma bowed his head. "Yes, Mother," he replied.
XXX
Soun Tendo sat on the engawa and stared out into the back yard. It was a sunny day with a light breeze that caused the wind chimes to tinkle merrily. Koi splashed in the pool in the corner. He stared at the pool, as if by will alone he could conjure a sopping wet panda that bellowed and held up some hastily-scribbled sign.
Kasumi watched her father with concern. He hadn't moved in hours. He hadn't touched the breakfast she'd made. He hadn't touched his cigarettes, or the morning paper. She'd been worried about that - news of last night's "explosion" was all over the front page - but her father had shown little interest in anything all morning.
She hadn't seen him like this since Mother died.
She knelt nearby. "Father, is there anything I can do for you?" she asked.
Her father didn't even look at her. "Kasumi," he said, "what have I done?"
Kasumi pursed her lips. "I'm sure you did what you thought was right..." she began, but Soun shook his head.
"No. No. I did what Genma wanted me to do. I listened to his lies one last time, and believed that somehow, against all reason, his plan had a chance of success. Genma lied so well that he fooled himself, but I should have known better. I made a promise to my friend's wife, and then I broke that promise. I broke a solemn vow."
"Yes, Father," Kasumi replied. "But I'm sure you thought your earlier vow to unite the two houses was more important..."
"A vow is a vow, Kasumi. The word of a martial artist should be good. Nor were the vows incompatible. I don't agree with how Nodoka is handling Ranma any more than Genma did, but it was only one and a half years. We could have waited.
"Now, my best friend is dead. At least three others are also dead. We're lucky more didn't perish. The promises we made so many years ago are also dead. The houses will never be joined now. . Nabiki hates me. Akane hates me..."
"That's not true at all, Father. They're both upset right now, and I'm sure they have a right to be, but you know Akane's as quick to forgive as she is quick to anger. And Nabiki will come around too, eventually."
Soun looked up and met his daughter's gaze. "Kasumi, everything I've worked for all of these years is in ruins. And I'm not even sure how it wound up like this. Ancestors know I set out with the best of intentions..."
Kasumi frowned. She would never admit to being aggravated, but listening to her father wallow in self-pity was helping no one. She was seized by a momentary desire to administer some tough love. Before she knew what she was doing, she said, "I don't know what you expect me to say, Father. As you say, you agreed to Mrs. Saotome's rules, and then you deliberately broke them. You trusted Mr. Saotome's scheming when you should have known better. You brought this upon yourself."
In the silence that followed, Kasumi blinked and put a hand to her mouth, shocked at her own words. "Forgive me, Father, for my impertinence. I was out of line..."
"No, Kasumi," Soun said. "Everything you say is true. I just... don't know where to go from here. I think Akane was right. I'm not the father she remembers. I'm not the man Kimiko married. I've lost my way. Somehow, I need to find my way back to the person I once was..."
Kasumi reached out to hug her father. "You'll figure it out, father," she said. "You found a way to raise three daughters all by yourself. I know you can get through this, too..."
XXX
Sachiko Nakayama opened her eyes. Bright afternoon sunlight shone through an unfamiliar window. There were flowers in a vase on a table not far off. Seated beside her was a young man that she recognized instantly - the youngest of her three older brothers, Kunisuke Nakayama.
"Brother? Where am I?" She glance about the room. "I'm in a hospital?" Her hand went to her bandaged torso. "How... how did I survive? I thought I was dead."
Her brother gripped her hand so tightly it was painful. "You nearly did die, Sachiko," he said. "We've been worried sick about you..."
"Father and Mother too?"
"They're just outside the room. Let me fetch them..."
Moments later Sachiko's entire family crowded about her bed - her father and mother and all three of her older brothers.
"What of the others?" Sachiko asked. "I was with Miyuki, and Yoriko, and Ukyo and Shampoo and... how many are dead?" She stared up at them searching for answers.
"Four," her father said. "Two of those were Honda security, who arrived after you were injured. One was a boy, one of the yakuza girl's associates..."
"Which one?" Sachiko demanded.
"I don't know the boy's name..." her father began.
"Hideki Shidami," Kunisuke said.
Sachiko closed her eyes. She nodded. "Who was the fourth?" she asked.
"Genma Saotome, the one who was possessed by the demon," her father said.
"The demon was defeated, then?"
"Yes. Ranma Saotome defeated it, and Mr. Tochigi Honda banished it."
Sachiko relaxed a little. "That's good," she said. "Four died? I was afraid it would be much more." She glanced back up, locking eyes with her father. "Forgive me, Father," she said. "This was my first battle with a demon, and I failed."
"Guagua was no ordinary demon," her father said. "He would have been a challenge for any one of us."
"No, Father," she said. "I had my chance to defeat him, and I failed. I used the Shinmei-ryu Ultimate Secret Technique: Thunderclap Sword, Second Form. It didn't work - my form was off. If I'd done it properly, then nobody would have been hurt..."
"I've seen the video footage," her father replied. "Your form was nearly perfect. I would not have expected you to battle such a dangerous demon, but you fought very well, under the circumstances. You have no reason to despair. Now, practice hard and master the move, so that next time you will succeed."
Sachiko smiled. "I'll do that, father," she said.
"In any case," another voice added, "If only we were real magical girls things would have been different."
As one, the members of the Nakayama family turned. There, at the foot of the bed, stood Miyuki Goji.
"Who let Miyuki Goji in here?" the father snapped.
Miyuki blinked in surprise. "What? The door was unguarded..."
XXX
"How do I look?" Ranma asked. He spun about slowly, like a model.
"Oh, Ranma," his mother said. "You look like a proper gentleman." There were tears in her eyes.
"You look very handsome," Akane agreed. "Any girl would be thrilled to have a brother as handsome as you."
"Brother, huh?" Ranma studied his reflection in a floor-length mirror. "Maybe you should start calling me 'brother-sister'," he said.
"Oniinee-chan?" Akane frowned. "No, I don't think so."
But it was true, Ranma decided: he did look good. As much as he hated stiff, formal attire, he liked how he looked in it. He wore a white silk shirt, black silk tie, and a black suit. It was a very expensive suit too - not the kind worn by a typical salaryman. Ranma had a hard time believing that his mother could really afford this, but she insisted he look his best for the funeral.
Only his bald head spoiled the image. "We must do something about your head," Nodoka muttered. "Maybe a wig or toupee..."
"I told him that Cologne has potions for hair growth," said Akane.
Ranma shook his head. "I want to leave it like this for now," he said. "It's a reminder of Pops, in a way."
Nodoka sighed. "Very well. How does everything fit?"
"The shoes are stiff," Ranma said.
Nodoka looked down. She pursed her lips. "Let me see if I can find a more comfortable pair," she said, and disappeared into the depths of the store.
Akane was staring at Ranma. There were tears in her eyes. "Akane? Sis? Is something wrong?' Ranma asked.
Akane shook her head. "No. It's just... the way you look, Ranma." She glanced down at the ground, and her next words were an almost inaudible whisper. "I would have liked to marry you. That's all."
Ranma looked away. "Really? I always thought you were against the engagement, Akane," he said.
"No," Akane replied. "Only at first. I was scared. You were a strange boy who turned into a girl. I didn't want to marry a girl, even a half-girl."
"That's what I thought. I disgusted you, didn't I?"
"No," Akane said. "I mean, sure, on occasion. You're infuriating at times, Ranma, even you have to admit that. A lot of the time, actually. But you're also honest, and brave, and... I fell in love with you a long time ago. It's hard letting go."
"I lo... like you too, Akane," Ranma said. "Only it's a bit late to be saying that."
"Yes," Akane said. "I know."
The two paused not looking at each other. After a moment Ranma realized that his mother was waiting just a short ways away, another pair of shoes in hand.
"Ranma, Akane, I'm very sorry," she said. "My husband has made a monumental mess of everything. I never knew he'd go this far, or be this pigheaded..."
"It's no good to speak ill of the recently departed," Ranma said quietly.
"No, and I apologize," Nodoka said. "But it frustrates me as well. You two would have made a very nice couple. But there are rules and complications, and now that can never be. All I can do is say I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry too," Akane replied. "But can we talk about something else? Otherwise I might start crying again..."
"Yes, of course." Instantly Nodoka was businesslike once again. "Here, Ranma, try these shoes on and let me know if they're more comfortable. But we must hurry; we have to meet with the temple priest in less than an hour..."
XXX
It was nearly Noon at the Cat Cafe. Cologne, Mousse and Shampoo awaited the lunch rush. Shampoo had been released from the hospital in the morning. She was still bandaged about the neck and shoulder, but the doctors had been amazed at how much better her wounds were.
"Shampoo beg forgiveness Grandmother," the girl said. "Shampoo not very good at fighting demon."
"Guagua was a very powerful demon," Cologne replied. "Even I would have had trouble facing him. Son-in-law came through in the end though, didn't he?"
"Shampoo sorry she miss seeing Ranma beat demon."
Mousse, sweeping up in the dining area, muttered, "I could've beaten it." Cologne flung a copper pot across the room, expertly striking him in the back of the head.
"Shut up, Mr. Part Time! Haven't you been listening? Bladed weapons were useless in this fight!"
"But now, Shampoo much closer to marry Ranma!" the girl exclaimed happily.
"That's true, Shampoo," agreed Cologne. "Genma Saotome did us a big favor, though I'm none too pleased with how he went about it. Breaking the agreement I expected of him; getting others killed in the process is another thing entirely. But the end result is the same: Akane has been removed as an obstacle to your engagement to Ranma. But don't get cocky just yet, Granddaughter. That Ukyo is a clever girl. She's expecting you to screw up, too."
"Shampoo be good," the girl insisted. "Shampoo no hug, no kiss Ranma for two years. Shampoo do anything to marry Ranma!"
"You just keep that uppermost in your mind," Cologne said. "It's only a year and a half, but it may seem like forever to a young girl like you. She's counting on her will to resist being stronger than yours, and normally I'd agree with her. But Ukyo is doing this on her own, while you have me to help you out. That's your edge. That's ultimately what will bring you the victory. You just do as I say, and everything will work out."
XXX
Wisps of smoke arose from the casket - from the dry ice within. Ranma stared down at the body of his father. Genma looked peaceful. There was little sign of the injuries that had caused his death. They'd done a good job. Ranma supposed it was lucky that they'd transformed him to human before he died – placing a panda in a casket would have seemed weird.
And what would happen to me, if I died while a girl? Ranma wondered. Would they bury me that way, dressed in a woman's kimono? Would the give me a female kaimyō - a posthumous name meant for a woman? Would that affect me in the afterlife?
Ranma sighed. Such stupid thoughts running through his head.
The weekend had passed in a flurry of meetings with priests and negotiations and arrangements and mailing of notices. Ranma had spent the days dressed in a stiff suit that he quickly grew to hate. At night he changed back to a girl for the sake of Akane, who refused to share a room with a guy, even if it was Ranma and the room was divided in two. This did not bother Ranma too much since the pajamas he had were exceedingly girlish. The suit was the only set of male clothing he had - Nodoka was focused on the wake and funeral and had neither the time nor the money to buy Ranma anything more than that.
And now it was Tuesday, the day of the wake. The priest had suggested this day as more auspicious than any other. Ranma didn't pretend to know what marked one day perfect for weddings and another perfect for funerals; he just followed the advice of the priest.
Genma was dressed in a formal kimono. That was Nodoka's idea. These days men were dressed in suits for burial, but Nodoka wanted a traditional look as befitted an honorable martial artist. She really wanted to emphasize that word: honorable. As if, with her husband's death, she had the chance to finally wash away all of his sins and paint a new picture of Genma the honorable man over them.
Ranma couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Pops dressed so formally.
The casket also contained a white kimono, sandals, six coins, food and a small bottle of liquor - all things that Genma would need or could use on his journey into the next life. Although, from what Ranma remembered of his own adventure in the land of the dead - had that really happened, or had it just been a dream? - Genma probably wouldn't still be around to collect those things.
They'd paid well for a good kaimyō too - the new Buddhist name that would prevent him from returning should his old name be called. It wasn't the longest or most prestigious of names - those could cost over a million yen - but it was something more than one of the cheap, common names available. Ranma had seen it written out, in kanji too old and unfamiliar for him to read.
Ranma adjusted his kimono. Mother had bought him one - black, of course - just for the wake and the funeral. He could have worn the suit that she'd bought earlier and worn while making all of the arrangements, but his mother insisted on doing everything properly. Ranma had no idea where she was getting all the money. He wondered if Mr. Honda had helped them out in some way?
Akane stepped into the room. She was dressed in a formal black kimono, like Nodoka's. She looked beautiful.
"The priest is almost ready," she said. Ranma nodded.
As each guest entered, Ranma greeted them. Each handed him condolence money, in a black and silver envelope. It would be Ranma's duty to distribute gifts at the end worth about half of the money that guest had given.
Ranma was surprised at some of the people that came. Many of their friends from Furinkhan and from St. Hebereke's were here, of course, but also Azusa Shiratori and Mikado Shinzenin made an appearance. It wasn't like Ranma was on good terms with either of them; still, it was nice to have them attend. Shampoo, Cologne and Mousse were in attendance, as well as Shampoo's Father, returned from China, wearing the round dark Lennon-style glasses Ranma remembered.
Sentaro Daimonji came, with his wife Satsuke and his grandmother. Thankfully they had not come by horseback. Satsuke was several months pregnant, and for a brief moment, Ranma flashed back to the fact that he had briefly been expected to marry Sentaro instead of Satsuke. He had a fantasy of himself married and pregnant, and shuddered.
Hikaru Gosunkugi showed up, as much as Ranma would rather he hadn't. The pale-faced boy with the Akane fetish always gave him the creeps. Ranma hoped he hadn't heard that the engagement was off - but of course, everyone had likely heard by now.
Doctor Tofu didn't show. He had been gone for months - his clinic closed. Nobody knew where he was, but Ranma had hoped somehow the message had gotten to him. Surely he'd have come if he could?
A massive human appeared next - so large that he barely fit through the doorway. Ranma blinked in surprise. "You're... the Dojo Destroyer?" he asked.
"Yes," the man rumbled in reply.
Ranma didn't even know the man's name. A fight between this guy and Mr. Khan would be something to see, Ranma reflected. "Thank you for coming," he said.
A gravestone stepped through the door. It handed Ranma an envelope.
"Tsubasa?" Ranma asked.
"Where is Miss Ukyo Kuonji?" the gravestone asked.
"Please don't make a scene," Ranma said. "I promised Mom that I wouldn't get blood on my new kimono."
"I just want to sit beside her," the gravestone replied. It moved on into the room.
Ranma sighed. Another huge person squeezed through the doorway. Ranma blinked in surprise.
"Bakeneko?" he said.
"Mao Mo Lin," replied the ghost cat. "I am very sorry for your loss."
It occurred to Ranma that there were more people in attendance than might have attended a wedding between him and Akane. Certainly there were more people than Genma Saotome had any right to expect at his funeral. But the "explosion" as they'd called it had been front page news. Perhaps that was why so many people had come.
Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno appeared next, with their father, Principal Kuno, who wore an all-black Hawaiian shirt for the occasion. Kodachi immediate cried out when she saw Ranma. She grabbed his hands. "Ranma darling! What did you do to your beautiful hair?"
Principal Kuno teared up. "You get de buzzcut just fo' me?" he said. "Da big Kahuna is very touched..."
"Uh... no..." Ranma replied. "My father did this..."
The Gambler King was next. He stabbed a finger at Ranma's chest. "You lose!" he exclaimed. Then he handed over his envelope. Ranma noticed that the strange man had tears in his eyes, so perhaps he was expressing his condolences in the only way he knew how.
Four incredibly short men in brightly-colored wigs appeared next. Ranma almost didn't recognize them, but surely these were the four niku men.
Picolet Chardin II was another surprise show, along with his mother. Ranma accepted their offering gratefully, but inwardly he frowned. Say goodbye to any food in sight, he thought.
Soun Tendo entered next, with Kasumi. Certainly Soun deserved to be at his best friend's funeral as much as anyone, but the wounds from the incident last week were still fresh. For that matter, Sachiko Nakayama was still in the hospital, as was one of the Honda security guards. But Ranma held no ill will towards Soun . He'd never been one to hold a grudge; if he had, he might have murdered his father years ago, or killed himself out of frustration. He looked Soun in the eyes and thanked him for coming.
As for Akane, that was a different story. She was still angry at her father.
Nabiki, Kaida, Rin and Akela followed. Ranma greeted each of them in turn. Then he was forced to look down at the next guest.
"Happosai?" Ranma asked in surprise. Of course, it was only natural for Genma's master to show up and pay his respects, but somehow he hadn't really expected that the old freak would show up. And dressed in a suit, yet.
"My most sincere regrets at your loss," Happosai said formally. "Genma may have had his faults, but he did his best to raise you as best he knew how. I'm sure you'll miss him."
Happosai handed over his own envelope. Ranma took it, still stunned. He wondered briefly if Happosai had stolen the money, or perhaps even sold some of his precious underwear collection. But it wasn't Ranma's place to question these gifts. He placed it with the others.
"Ranma my boy," Happosai added, "you and I have much to discuss. But that will have to wait until later."
The next two were people Ranma didn't recognize - a woman about his mother's age with long red hair, and a girl who appeared to be a year or two younger than Ranma and Akane. She had red hair that hung to her shoulders and ended in curls.
"You must be Ranma," the woman said. "You don't recognize me, do you?" Ranma shook his head. "I'm your mother's younger sister, Anako Kamai. And this is my daughter, Izuko."
"Nice to meet you, Cousin Ranma," Izuko said, bowing.
Ranma stared at the two. "R-really?" he stuttered. "I didn't know I had an aunt or a cousin."
"No." Anako pursed her lips, frowning. "No-chan doesn't talk of me much, I suspect."
"Never," Ranma replied. "But thank you for coming. It's nice to meet both of you."
When all of the guests were seated, the priest began to chant a sutra. Ranma was seated with his mother and with the Tendos at the front of the room, right before the casket. Happosai sat with them, as well as Ranma's newly-discovered aunt and cousin.
One by one the family members stepped forward to offer incense, while the rest of the guests did so at another urn place behind the seats of the family. After Ranma's turn he returned to his seat and let the chanting of the priest wash over him.
Ranma hated formal events. He hated the uncomfortable clothes, and the interminable waiting. He watched the blue incense smoke drift to the ceiling, where it swirled like the mist before the gate to another world. And what lays beyond? Ranma wondered. There were other worlds, he knew. At least, there was existence beyond death. He'd never been very religious, but having once visited the land of the dead, he found it quite easy to believe in life after death. He'd stood on the shores of a vast, steel-gray lake, and then turned around.
What lay beyond that shore, he wondered.
"Hurry, Ranma! Keep running!"
Genma and Ranma ran. They were always running. There were so many things to run from - local authorities, the police, the victims of Genma's thievery, those he'd merely lied to or made promises to which he couldn't keep. Running, Genma contended, was one of the cornerstones of martial arts training.
It was pouring rain. Young Ranma was soaked to the bone. He followed his father through the woods. It wasn't unusual for the two of them to dine and dash, to run off without paying for their food, but this time it bothered Ranma more than usual.
"Why did we do that, Pops?" he asked. "They were really poor."
"Not as poor as us," Genma replied. "They had food and a restaurant. We've got nothing."
Ranma frowned. Lately he was questioning the things his father told him, things that he'd previously accepted at face value. "So we have to steal from people that barely have more than us?"
Genma ducked a branch, then leaped over a log. Water splashed from the ground and leaves as he passed. "I'm not proud of these things, Ranma," he said. "But a martial artist does what needs to be done. We sacrifice everything for the art, the art itself is first and foremost."
They slid down a muddy hillside and found a road to follow. They fell into a steady jog. Of course, what Genma and Ranma considered a steady jog was still a very stiff pace for any normal person.
"It just doesn't seem very honorable to me," Ranma said.
"The world is a complex place, Ranma," Genma said. "There's no black and white, but many shades of gray. You'll understand this when you're older."
Ranma sighed. "And just when I thought I was making a friend..."
Ranma had been thinking about the incident for days. A boy with pink pants. Ranma had been taught by his father that everything girlish was weak and inferior, that a man must abhor such things. It was no wonder, then, that at seven years old he'd been horrified that a boy his age could be so poor as to have to wear girls boy's father had laughed it off, had thought it funny, had even suggested that it could have been worse - the neighbor girl had far more skirts and dresses to donate than pants. His son had come this close to wearing a dress to school.
The joke did not go over well with Genma or Ranma. And then they'd shared a dinner, and afterwards Genma had grabbed whatever he could steal and urged Ranma to start running now. It was a routine Ranma was used to. He hadn't even learned his new friend's name yet, and that he was also used to. But this time, for the first time, he knew that what they were doing was wrong. You just didn't steal from people so poor the boy had to wear girl's pants.
After several days, Ranma had finally been able to determine why this particular memory was so firmly stuck in his head:
That was the day I stopped trusting what Pops said. That was the day that I saw through his lies.
Eventually the chanting was done. The priest left. Ranma stood and thanked the other guests for coming. There were a few telegrams to read from distant acquaintances – these included a note of condolence from the Chinese Jusenkyo Guide, among others. Ranma thought that was nice of the strange man, although it probably also spoke of how lonely and isolated the poor Jusenkyo Guide was.
Eventually Ranma made his way to the entrance, where he and his mother and Akane thanked the others for coming, and handed out gifts.
And then it was over. Only it wasn't over. There was still the funeral tomorrow, followed by the cremation. That would occupy most of the day. Before that, Nodoka had insisted that they remain with the body overnight. The vigil was traditional, and Nodoka always chose the traditional path.
Ranma sighed. It was going to be a long night, followed by another long day.
XXX
The evening after the funeral, Nodoka held a gathering in their house. Cologne was in attendance with Shampoo. Ukyo was there. The Tendos were there.
Once everyone had been seated, Nodoka began preparing tea. This was a formal occasion, and she insisted on performing a traditional tea ceremony. Ranma watched her movements. She was graceful and exacting. Ranma had no clue about the specific movements that made up the ceremony, but as far as he could tell, his mother did it all perfectly. She'd obviously practiced it many times before. But when was the last time she'd actually performed it? Ranma wondered. His mother had lived alone for so many years; there would have been few, if any, opportunities for it.
Akane's eyes were red from crying. Ranma felt guilty for that. His chest felt tight as well. He'd thought that, after a week to accept the inevitable, after dealing with his father's death, the wake, and the funeral, that this would not be such a hard thing to go through. But now that the time had come, it was very hard indeed.
He wanted to curse his father, but it would be bad to curse the recently dead.
After everyone had been served tea and taken a sip, Nodoka spoke.
"I'm sure you all know why we are here," she said. "More than a month ago I entered into a formal agreement with all of you. We each signed a contract binding us to this agreement. Three of you in this room have claims - claims which I, as Ranma Saotome's mother, have recognized as valid - to wed my son.
"As a teacher, education is very important to me. Ranma and I have our own sworn vow for him to graduate high school with good grades. It was necessary to put these other things on hold, for they were interfering with Ranma's education.
"Thus, the details of our agreement were that Ranma and Akane were to be allowed to attend high school, and that there would be no attempts to marry Ranma or sway him romantically until such time as he had graduated. As his mother I will not allow Ranma to marry before then. Any attempts to circumvent me in this matter would result in my rejection of that suitor's claim, per the contract we all agreed upon.
"As you're all aware, my late husband and his friend Tendo-san chose to ignore this contract. They broke their word with me. They attempted to force Ranma and Akane to marry, assuming that, once it was done, it would be impossible to undo and all other claims would be voided. In this they were quite wrong. Ultimately, my husband paid for his mistakes with his life. As for his friend Tendo-san, he will have to live with the knowledge that his actions on that night helped my husband bring about his own destruction, as well as the lives of three innocent people."
Soun Tendo was already crying, much more than Akane had. Ranma actually felt sorry for the man.
Tears were streaming down Nodoka's face as well now. "Ranma, Akane," she said, her voice cracking, "as of this moment I renounce your engagement. What my husband and Akane's father agreed to many years ago, I now declare void, as per the terms of our contract. As of this moment, the only two who have valid claims to marry my son are Ukyo Kuonji and Shampoo of the Joketzu amazon tribe."
Akane buried her head and cried. Soun continued to weep. Ranma expected triumphant looks, if not outright exclamations, from Shampoo and Ukyo, but instead the two girls stared at each other across the table in a moment of pure hostility. The message was clear: both girls were taking this very seriously. Neither intended to lose.
Ranma sighed. The only good news was that there would clearly be no talk of marriage for another year and a half. One slip up, and the other girl would claim victory.
This last week, Ranma thought, marked a huge turning point in his life. There was what came before his father's death, and there would be what came after. The last time he'd felt such a seismic shift in his life had been that first day in Nerima...
The rain poured down on the streets of Nerima. A young girl and a giant panda raced down the street, arguing.
"Well I still say the whole thing sucks!" Ranma yelled. "Picking my fiancee for me - without even asking!" She grabbed the panda by the paw and slammed it onto the concrete.
"I'm going back to China. Suck on that, Old Man!"
I wish I had gone back to China, Ranma thought. I wish...
But there was never any use in wishing.
XXX
Ranma did not go back to school on Thursday. His mother wasn't happy with the decision, but she allowed it. She knew how hard the last week had been on him. She would allow him time to mourn, as she put it. Whether that meant just a day, or whether that might extend through the coming weekend, Ranma wasn't sure. He just knew that he wasn't yet ready to go back to school, wasn't yet ready to begin living as a girl again.
It still felt like a dream. Perhaps he was still dead, and all this was nothing more than a hallucination? He shivered. He hadn't really felt warm since that day. He hadn't felt much of anything. He felt numb, in a daze.
He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was still male, and still bald, save for a bit of stubble and fuzz. He wasn't quite ready to fix that problem, either.
It all seemed so pointless. His agreement with his mother, his bet with Nabiki - his attending school as a girl. Why did he have to do it? Why couldn't he just run away from it all?
Akane hadn't spoken to him since last night. She probably sensed that Ranma wanted to be left alone. He'd slept in this morning, too - probably the first time in his life he'd ever done that.
Ranma sighed and rolled out of bed. He began a kata to clear his mind. He was avoiding things, he knew. It was classic Saotome behavior - Genma Saotome behavior, at any rate. He knew he couldn't go on like this; his mother wouldn't let him. He had to do something. He had to put his life back in order. He had to get on with things.
What would Pops do? Ranma wondered. Perhaps it was the wrong question. When Genma had thought Ranma dead, he'd fallen to pieces and allowed a demon to possess him. But at other times, Genma's answer for dealing with his problems was always: run away and hide.
Ranma couldn't do that. His sense of honor wouldn't allow it. In any case, what would that get him? A life of wandering, thieving and lying? A lack of friends or anything permanent? When he was young, Ranma had thought his training trip with his father was a grand adventure. Only now did he realize what it really was, and what had been missing from his life all those years - friends, a home, a sense of permanence.
But barring running away, Pops would go on a 'training mission', Ranma thought. Not the ten-years-of-wandering kind, but the kind where you went up into the woods, worked out for a few days, and hoped that all of your problems would magically disappear in the meantime.
Genma had really never given Ranma any other tools for dealing with problems. And the truth was, getting out into the wilderness and working out had a way of clearing your head and focusing all of your thoughts. It did work, after a fashion. It didn't solve your problems, of course, but it did put you in a better frame of mind to deal with them.
Ranma liked training. He could achieve an almost zen-like state of mind while working out. There was nothing like pounding a wooden post a thousand times or performing the same kata five hundred times to empty your mind of all outside thought.
Before Ranma even realized he was doing it, he had filled his backpack with the few items of clothing he currently owned - save the suit of course - and written a parting note: Gone training. Be back in a few days.