A/N: Hi Ladies, I wanted to let you know that I have decided to end this story after part two. Don't worry, because of that part two still has at least 15 chapters left. The main reason is that I am going to take a break from FF around Christmas and won't be back until March or April. So, in order for me to have this story finished by then, I had to work on the outline and I think I have worked it out now...
Therefore, this chapter is what was supposed to be the original ending of part two and for those who hoped for a little less drama... sorry not going to happen for at least another four or five chapter. I have to admit, I love to write drama and angst and this story has become my outlet for this little passion of mine...
But, because of that, the next chapter is going to have something that was often requested, which is Christian's point of view...
One last thing, to the guest who asked/begged me to get a beta. Sorry, at least for now I don't have the time to find a beta, unless of course you want to volunteer. I've been in contact with several beta-readers before and either they didn't have the time to take on another story or I was told upfront that because of their busy schedule they needed up to two weeks per chapter, which is why I don't have a beta...
Oh and before I forget it, some of you might need some tissues to get through this chapter...
Disclaimer: All characters belong to E. L. James
Back To You - 4 months later
"Go! We have another three weeks to wait until Joey is born. Gail and Sawyer are here with me and you'll be back in three days, so go and kick ass in New York." I tell Christian exasperated. He has to go away on business for three days and he is afraid that I will go into early labor and that he is going to miss the birth of our daughter.
"Promise me to call me if anything happens. Even if you are just feeling uncomfortable."
"Christian seriously, I have been uncomfortable for weeks now. Look at me, I am huge!"
"No you are pregnant and absolutely beautiful, Anastasia." He says and I can't help, but smile. Ever since I've made a comment about feeling really unattractive now that I am highly pregnant, Christian has started to tell me how beautiful I am every day. I would love nothing more than to kiss him, but somehow we have made a silent agreement not to talk about our relationship until Joey is born. Which to me is a joke, because our relationship is pretty much back to what it was before, well minus the sex. I am not allowed to have sex and even if I wanted to, I couldn't, because my belly is so huge, by now even the thought of having sex sounds exhausting to me. Yup, my libido has officially left the building...
Since I am also having a hard time to get out of bed alone, we are now both sleeping in his bedroom again. Still, I plan to move back to my apartment once Joey is born. Christian is not happy about it, but I insist. Not because I don't want to live with him, but I feel that we need to take things slow if we really want to figure our relationship out. That is of course if he really wants me back and is not just playing the part until I am no longer pregnant, which is my greatest fear.
"I have to leave, please don't run around too much, take things slow. I'll call you once I'm in New York." He says and kneels in front of me to expose my belly and kiss it.
"Be a good girl for mommy, Joey Steele and do daddy a favor and stay where you are until I am back." He whispers against my belly, kisses it again and pulls my shirt back over my belly. When he stands, he leans in to kiss my forehead and smiles down at me.
"Behave." He says sternly and I smile up at him.
"You should know by now that I'm not obedient, Mr. Grey."
"One of the things I love about you, Miss Steele." He says just as Taylor clears his throat to make his presence known.
"Bye Anastasia."
"Bye." As he turns around, I feel tears threaten in my eyes. Shit, I have gotten so used to having him around all the time; I hate the thought that I am not going to see him for three days.
"Christian wait!" I call out when he is about to step into the elevator.
"Do you need something?"
"Yes, a proper goodbye." I tell him and close the distance between us. He looks confused, but I pull his face down to me and kiss him gently. His arms snake around me, but he can't pull me any closer because my belly is in the way. When I end the kiss, he has the biggest smile on his face.
"Does this mean you are going to miss me?"
"No, it means I love you and I am going to miss you like crazy. Now get your ass in the elevator, I am pregnant, emotional and I don't want to cry."
"I love you too, baby. I'll try to deal with the issues in New York faster, so I can come home earlier."
"Take your time, me and little Miss Grey in here are not going anywhere."
"What ever happened to her name being Steele?"
"I picked her first name; it's only fair that she has your last name."
"Thank you, baby. You have no idea how much this means to me. I'll see you soon." He kisses me again and then I watch him get into the elevator and wait until the doors are closed. I turn around and find Gail smiling from ear to ear.
"You've made the right decision, Anastasia." She says and we smile at each other for a moment. It's crazy how much I like Gail now. At first, I thought she was an arrogant bitch, but in the last couple of months, she has become a second mother to me and I am glad that she is here to keep me company.
My parents will come to Seattle next week and I'm thrilled that my dad has cleared his schedule for three weeks, so they can stay until Joey is born. My mom asked if she could be with me during the birth and I know this means a lot to her, so I'll have her, Christian and his mom with me. My mom wanted to have my dad there too, but the hospital policy is that only three family members or friends are allowed in the delivery room and my dad looked rather uncomfortable when my mom asked him, so I guess he is happy to stay in the waiting room with Christian's dad and Mia.
Because I don't feel like taking a walk, I stay in for the next to days and read some books Christian has bought for me. Tomorrow he will be back and I can't wait to see him again. Now that I have let him know that I am ready for us to be a couple again, I feel more confident that he is not just playing nice because of Joey. Still, I feel a little restless this evening and it is almost midnight until I finally fall asleep.
When I wake up it is still dark outside, but as my sleep drunken mind slowly clears, I realize that I woke up because the bed is wet. Oh my God, this is so embarrassing, I've wet the bed... but before I can let the thought sink in and get up there is a sharp pain in lower back and I whimper while trying to breath through the pain. When the pain subsides, I roll and shift in the bed until my feet touch the floor and I manage to awkwardly get up.
Eww, okay so I didn't pee, my water broke and it feels like I am still dripping. I grab the phone on my nightstand and press the three to call Gail.
"Yes?" she mumbles sleepily.
"Gail, my water broke, can you help me change?"
"What, oh my god. I'll be right there." She hangs up and thirty seconds later, she is in Christian's bedroom.
"Come dear, we are going to get you out of these wet clothes. Did you have any contractions so far?"
"Just one... and I might need a towel or a pad or something... I'm still dripping." I murmur completely embarrassed.
"Don't be embarrassed dear; this is all part of giving birth." She says kindly and with her help, I even manage to take a shower before I change into clean clothes.
"Do you want to lie down for a while, Ana? It's just a little before five in the morning." Gail asks and I look at her. For a moment I not sure why looking at her has me startled, but then I see it. It's her eyes. Gail has brown eyes; I know that for sure, because I gave an eye shadow palette for brown eyes along with some other make up for her birthday last month. Now, her eyes are not brown and the eyes staring back at me are eyes I have seen and dreamed of so often. The most beautiful and rare shade of gray... Christian's eyes.
"Are you not feeling well, Anastasia?"
"Your eyes" I whisper and all the color drains from her face.
"I... please Anastasia, I can explain it to you, but you can't tell Christian, please." She begs and this is probably the first time I didn't hear her call him Mr. Grey or Sir.
"Okay, please explain it, but first I need to call Christian."
"I'll make some tea for us; do you want to eat something?" She asks and I re-call all those nightmare stories about pooping during labor in my mind.
"No, tea is fine." I let her know and take the phone to call Christian. At least it is almost eight in the morning in New York, so I won't wake him.
The phone rings two times then he picks up. "Anastasia, what is wrong, why are you calling this early... fuck, did something happen?"
"Please stay calm, Christian. I... well our daughter is not going to wait another three weeks to make her debut in this world. My water broke about thirty minutes ago."
"Shit, I knew it. Are you alright?"
"A little scared." I confess.
"Don't be scared, I promise I will be there before she is born. Okay, you are so strong, Anastasia and soon we can hold our baby girl in our arms."
"I know... shit... wait... contraction." I hold on to his dresser and breathe through the contraction until is passes and take the phone again.
"Sorry, now it's better."
"How close are your contractions?"
"About thirteen minutes apart, but they are not that bad, so it will probably still be a while before I have to go to the hospital."
"Good, I'll be there as soon as possible. I love you, Anastasia."
"I love you, too. Bye." I hang up and make my way into the great room where Gail is waiting for me. She helps me to sit down and I take a sip of tea while watching her closely. Who is this woman?
"I was born and raised in Detroit. My mother worked as a housekeeper for a wealthy family. Her boss's wife passed away when their daughter was six years old. Mr. Buchanan, he was a terrible human being. He would yell at everyone and ignored his daughter most of the time. She was four years older than me and we became best friends. It wasn't until I was ten or eleven that I noticed that Mr. Buchanan, his daughter Ella and I all had the same rare gray eyes." She stops and I can tell that this is a very painful topic for her.
"I asked my mother about it and she started to cry and confessed that I am his daughter, but he didn't want me. He always wanted a son and neither his wife nor my mother gave him that. From the moment I knew Ella and I were even closer. Of course, with the age difference, we both had other friends too, but at home, it was just us. When Ella was fifteen, she started dating a boy from the neighborhood. He wasn't the kind of boy any parent would want as their daughter's first boyfriend and Ella had to hide their relationship from her father, but it ended soon anyway. Shortly after it ended Ella changed, she didn't want to leave her room, she was crying day and night until I convinced her to tell me what happened." She stops again, but I know what happened, Ella was pregnant... with Christian.
"She told me that she was pregnant. She couldn't tell anyone and she made me swear to keep her secret. We were both scared and overwhelmed with this situation, but Ella wanted to keep the baby. She loved it right away. We came up with this completely idiotic plan that she could have the baby and we would just hide it. But we were so young she not even sixteen and me only twelve. We went to the local library and read every book about childbirth, pregnancy and how to take care of a child that we could find. Ella would wear wide clothes to hide her growing belly and it helped that her belly didn't grow as much as we feared it would and one night in June of 1983 she went into labor."
I gasp and Gail sighs. "You have to keep in mind how young we were Anastasia. We thought this would be easy. However, the reality was unlike anything we expected it to be. We had to hide in the basement and Ella was crying and screaming in pain for hours. It was a miracle no one heard us. I was so scared, I begged her to allow me to get my mother, but she wouldn't let me. It wasn't until the early morning hours that started to feel the urge to push and little over twenty minutes later I helped her to bring the most beautiful baby boy into this world. He was adorable right from the start, so beautiful and precious. Ella gave him the name Christian after her mother Christina. Here, those are the only pictures I could save." She says and hands me two old pictures. One of a blonde girl about twelve and a brunette girl that is a couple of years older both are smiling and look very happy. But it is the other one that makes me cry even harder than I already am. The picture shows a tiny baby boy, wrapped in a blue blanket and simply adorable... Christian.
"What happened next Gail?"
"Ella and I took turns. We hid him in the basement; it was the only place in the house were no one would hear him cry. It was a week after he was born; we were both in the basement with him when her father found us. My God, he lost his mind when he saw the baby. He started to yell and hit Ella and then he wanted to grab the baby and we knew he would hurt him or worse. I pushed against him with all the strength I had and Ella grabbed the baby and ran. He screamed after her that he would murder both of them if she ever dared to return. My mother came down alarmed from all the screaming and she told me to get into my room. When I saw her later that day one of her eyes was swollen shut, but she acted as though nothing had happened. From that day one, I was not allowed to mention Ella or the baby. Our father burned every picture of her; no one was allowed to enter her room. It was as if she never even existed."
"Have you ever seen her again?" I ask and wipe my tears.
"I tried to find her, I talked to all of her friends, but no one could tell me where she went. I was heart-broken and sick with worry. When I was fifteen I started to work after school, I saved every single dollar I earned until I had enough money to hire a PI when I was sixteen. I just needed to find my sister, needed to know that she and her son were well. The PI needed almost four months to find her and what he told me was devastating. He found her in the worst part of the city, she was a drug addict and that she was selling her body to pay for her drugs, he said he saw her with a little boy, so I knew she had somehow managed to keep Christian. I went to the address he had given me the same day. I knocked many times, but no one opened, I was about to give up when I heard a tiny little whimper coming from her apartment. It was easy to get into the apartment; the lock was so old all I needed was a hairpin to open it. Inside... she was dead, she was beaten beyond recognition lying dead on the floor and next to her was Christian. My God, he was more dead than alive, his tiny body marred with bruises and scars. I called the police and waited around the corner for them to arrive. I watched as they took him to the hospital and I prayed to God that he would find a better family."
"Why didn't you keep him?"
"I was just sixteen; I couldn't take him home with me. I had no money and I just knew that I wasn't what he needed. A couple of weeks later someone from CPS came to see my father. They told him about Christian, that Ella had died and that there was a couple that wanted to adopt him. A Dr. Trevelyan-Grey and her husband who was a lawyer. My father told them that he didn't want anything to do with the child and that to him his daughter died years ago. I left my childhood home the moment I graduated from high school and never looked back. I would talk to my mother on the phone, but she died before I turned twenty. I have no idea what happened to my father... maybe he is still alive, but to me he is dead. I've moved to Seattle after I got married and when my husband died, I decided to work as a housekeeper. It was more than five years ago that my agency told me that Christian Grey was looking for a housekeeper and I just had to take the position."
"Wait, does Christian know?" Why would she wear contacts to change her eye color if Christian knows that she is his aunt?
"No, at first I wanted to tell him, but then I thought what good would it bring to tell him the truth, it would only remind him of a very painful past. And... I know this is selfish, but he is all that is left of my sister and I wanted to be close to him. I knew that he would get suspicious because of my eyes and the fact that I am from Detroit, so I started to wear brown contacts."
"Didn't he run a background check on you?" I ask after another contraction has passed.
"He did, but my background check doesn't show any connection to Ella. Like I've said my father didn't want me, so his name is not on my birth certificate. Therefore Ella wouldn't show up as my sister and why would he look into the names of my mother's former employer when she was dead. I know you have forgiven me for the way I behaved when you first came here, but maybe now you can understand why I am so protective when it comes to Christian. I love him as if he was my son and I just couldn't stand the thought that you were just another woman who became his sub just for his money or because of his handsomeness and not because of the wonderful human being he truly is. Because that is what he deserves and I am so glad that he has found this in you."
I have no idea what to say to this, she is his aunt and he has no idea. And suddenly the awful thought comes to my mind that again I am keeping a big secret from Christian.
"Gail you have to tell him. Please, I'm begging you don't make me keep this from him. If he finds out by accident and I have to tell him that I knew, he will never forgive me."
"He will fire me Anastasia. I just know it."
"Gail, Christian adores you. Believe me, I grew up in a household with a housekeeper and while she was a lovely woman, she was still staff. Christian treats you as family, he treasures your opinion and I am sure he will understand your reasons."
"Anastasia!" We both turn when we hear Grace's voices and Gail hurries from the room, most likely to get her contacts, so Grace won't see her eyes.
"Christian called me, how are you feeling, darling?" She asks and sits down next to me.
"Good I guess, my contractions are still over ten minutes apart, but they already hurt a lot and since my water broke earlier I guess there is no turning back now."
"No, but you will do just fine. Don't worry about anything, today is going to be one of the happiest days of your life, Anastasia." She says and I know she is right.
Six hours later, I am already at the hospital and my contractions are so painful that I have cried several times and still the stubborn part of me wants to do this the old-fashioned way without epidural or any kind of pain relief.
"You are making very good progress Anastasia. You are dilated to eight and your contractions are strong and good. I would say your daughter will be here before it's the end of the afternoon. Man, you sure are going to be one of our quicker first time mommies" Rochelle, my midwife announces.
"I... I can't do this... I'm scared" I get out before the next contraction hits me and I squeeze both Gail's and Grace's hand as hard as I can.
This is exhausting and I am so, so tired, but most of all I want Christian here. I know he must be here any minute, but I need him here now, so I can tell him what a bastard he is for doing this to me.
"You are doing great, Anastasia." Gail tells me while she uses a cold washcloth to wipe my face, neck and arms.
"Really, because I am feeling anything but great right now... not again." I whimper when it starts again and I can't hold back my tears any longer. The pain is so all consuming that I only realize that the hand that I am squeezing is Christian's when the contractions ends and I look up at him.
"Hey baby, I'm here, how are you feeling?" He asks and I lose it.
"How am I feeling? What kind of stupid ass question is that? Fuck you; Christian you did this to me you bastard!" I yell at him and he gapes at me.
"I... I'm sorry; do you want me to wait outside?" He offers and I glare at him.
"Are you kidding me? Oh no, Grey you'll sit here with me and let me squeeze your hand...oh fuck... damn it... shit... son of a bitch!"
"Rochelle?" I murmur when the pain lessens.
"Do you want some pain relief, Anastasia?"
"No, but be honest... why on earth would any woman go through this hell a second time... I'll get my tubes tied, that's it, no more babies." I pant and she laughs.
"You'll get the answer to that question once you hold your little girl in your arms." She says with a bright smile, but I don't believe her. Had I known what it feels like to be in full-blown labor I would have insisted to get a c-section.
Finally, an hour later I'm fully dilated and started to push which is even more exhausting... I just want to hold my baby... see her and kiss her little face and that is the only thing that keeps me going, I want to see my baby.
My legs are shaking so badly I have Grace and Christian holding them up for me, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to keep them in the stir ups or worse hold them up in the air like that myself.
"With the next contraction I need you to give me a good hard push Anastasia, your baby is almost crowning." My doctor announces and when I do it, it hurts so bad that I am screaming so awfully it makes even me flinch. I know Christian is whispering something in my ear, but there is just pain, I don't hear, see or notice anything other than pain. I faintly hear Rochelle yelling at me to push and I try, I really do, but there is just pain and some where in the far distances I think I hear my baby cry.
"Anastasia? Anastasia! She is losing too much blood... we have to get her to the OR... her heart rate is dropping ... shit we are losing her..."
Voices floating in the air, but I drift further and further... my baby... where is my baby? I want to hold my little girl... the pain... there is no more pain just the blinding white light in front of me... silence... nothing...
Would have made one hell of an ending for part two, right? Next chapter will be up by the end of the week with Christian's POV...