Landslide

by karapuui

Years have passed after Rido's war ended, and things are falling apart. They are so damaged in ways Zero cannot even begin to understand, and Kaname doesn't want to talk about it. As usual, he has his secrets to keep, but if they are to fix what has been broken Zero must unravel the truth. Once again, he's fighting the man he loves but hardly knows (Kaname/Zero, Kain/Aidou)

26. In Silence I Grieve

Author's Note:

Guys, today has been a shitstorm. I hope everyone has weathered through, and my thoughts go to everyone and anyone going through this. Genuinely, I feel the greatest sympathy (and empathy) for the victims of the political fuck-ups of this year. It's not fair, it's fucking scary, and I'm scared for everyone. I've been debating whether or not to throw this chapter at you today of all days, because it's a pretty depressing one, but I realised holding out on publishing it wouldn't help to soften the blow too, so here's me warning and apologising to you in advance!

Current Nanowrimo count is... holy flipping Jesus. 36,804 words in total. That means... 13,196 words to the minimum limit. Guys, I have this thing in the bag!

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The nightmares shouldn't be able to reach him here. It's a silly thought, but the outside world is so far away and all the horrors of it kept out by the ineffable indifference of the village... that it's so easy to believe that they're safe here — it's so easy to fall under the illusion that nothing bad can get to them so long as they play along. Zero knows peace is a myth, and the idyllic view he has of life here is seen through an outsider's eyes. He knows there's danger in believing you're safe. He knows that... but this peace speaks to him. It's as seductive as a siren's song. He doesn't think this is a place he could ever call home, but there's something... there's something he thinks he might have found something here. He's scared that when their time here ends, he won't want to leave.

Maybe it's all of this, or perhaps the heavy dinner they had, which allows his guard to drop, so that when he sleeps he dreams, and then the nightmares find him.

At first, he's not sure whose dream it is he's having. It blurs indecisively for a long stretch where he plays a game of tug-and-war for control. Then the baby tugs a little harder, and then it's the same old dream of snow, except this time there are more details: the puff of warm breath in the frigid air; the band across his middle isn't just holding him tight, it's hard like stone; he's on his back but he desperately wants to roll onto his stomach, for some reason, to see something other than the swirling white sky; there's more emotion with this newest edition too… other than the usual crippling fear, there is also a deep sadness. How does the baby know what these emotions are? Has it learnt them from him? Zero discards the idea immediately, but can't help but feel guilty. It must have. It must have. He curls himself around the baby and pulls them away to somewhere he hopes is better than here.

He's wrong. Apparently he doesn't know the landscape of his own mind. It's another nightmare, this time: his.

It's a flashback to Kaname's Coronation. He sees him sat there in those stunning robes, but this time he's tied to the throne with chains. Dark red chains. The smell of blood hangs heavy in the air, and it isn't fresh — it's the smell of infection and bruising, overripe yet decaying. A shadowy spectre is stood behind Kaname and lifts the blood crown off his head, but with a sickening crack — it also takes his head off with it. His head rolls off his body and shatters on the floor. The spectre pays it no mind, taking the crown over to the side where another spectre stands by a crib.

Zero's pulse quickens when the second reaches in and lifts out a baby — his baby, his mind screams — and. And he can't see its face. Of course he can't. Like any movie worth its salt, it isn't the right time for him to see it yet. The first spectre places the crown on the baby's head, but… it's too big for the baby, what are they thinking? Naturally, the crown slips down and falls around the baby's shoulders. But then the crown reshapes itself into thick ropes and snaps tight to the baby's neck, tightening like a — like a noose —

Zero wakes up facing Kaname's neck and aptly finds his eyes drawn to the scar on his neck. It's the only blemish on his perfect skin other than Zero's bite-mark. It's only a thin jagged line slightly indented into the skin, but Zero can still hear the loud crack that severed his head from his body. He can still see the way his head rolled off his shoulders and his body went slack.

"Did you have that dream again?"

Zero nods, fingers tracing the scar, as if to soothe it.

"There was more this time."

Kaname curls his fingers in the hair at Zero's neck. It's growing long. Long enough to put in a hair-tie. He'll look just like Ichiru did if he does that.

"It was my nightmare that woke me," Zero whispers, closing his eyes. Open or closed, it doesn't matter. The dream is like a smell that lingers. Kaname continues to play with his hair, his patience coaxing Zero into reluctantly briefing him about the dream. The only response he gets from him is the occasional hum and his fingers stilling briefly when he describes the sound of Kaname's head cracking off his neck. "It's probably nothing," Zero says, though both of them know how significant their dreams tend to be. "Probably just my… my imagination is going a little nuts. It's this place," he tells Kaname, "It's too nice. Too good. I don't think I like feeling this safe."

"I know what you mean," Kaname murmurs, "Feeling safe doesn't mean we are safe. I do wonder though, what your subconscious might be trying to tell us. If it's in any way connected to what you are thinking, I suppose we're to conclude that you don't want the baby inheriting the throne."

This matches Zero's own speculations, but he doesn't find it comforting to know that his fears are that easy to deduce. "Maybe I don't."

"Hm," Kaname shuffles a little, "Good. Neither do I."

"Really?" Most of Zero is unsurprised, but a tiny part of him is. That skepticism formed long ago when he didn't know Kaname beyond being a Pureblood and a Royal is always going to be there. The things you learn when you're young are always the hardest to unlearn, and even though Zero knows better now — even though he knows Kaname better now, he thinks trying to cast off his old prejudice is a battle he will be fighting long into the grave. Old habits die hard, but Pureblood Vampires die harder. Or something to that effect.

"I never wanted to be King. Well, I suppose I did when I agreed to take it, but there wasn't ever really a choice. It was either I became King or Rido, and whilst I knew I might not be the best King, at least if I took the throne it would keep Rido from getting more power." Kaname huffs, blowing Zero's eyelashes together. "Truthfully, I think the whole idea of a Vampire King is stupid. It's a title, nothing more. We don't need a King these days. The Council do most of the work governing the Vampires — corrupt though they may be... Vampires are just sentimental. They want to bow to us Purebloods because they're taught to believe Purity demands more respect. Haruka's father wanted to end the line of Kings when he yielded his Kingship, but Haruka didn't trust that the Council had everyone's best interest at heart, so he kept the throne. He ended up being right." Kaname pauses, struggling with himself. "And then he passed it onto me. That's where he went wrong — trusting me with protecting the people. I… I've failed him."

Zero huffs, "You can't do everything, Kaname. Fighting the Council, uniting the bloods, breaking the curse… it's too much for one person."

"I know, and I think… I think he'd forgive me for recognising a sinking ship and wanting to get off. He'd certainly want his grandchild somewhere safer, and… and maybe it's time we end it. For good," Kaname stresses, his hand going to the baby, "They shouldn't have to shoulder this burden."

"Yeah," Zero agrees, unable to forget the way the crown wrapped around the dream-baby's fragile neck so tightly he swears he heard it snap just before he woke up. This baby is burdened enough with the powers it will have (and already has). He hopes the baby knows it's been spared this one thing.

"You should sleep."

Zero shakes his head, heaving himself up from the pillows. A thick blanket of clouds passes overhead, letting the moon shine its milky light through the windows. Out of the two of them, Kaname looks more tired than him which, he thinks, is more worrying. The strain of whatever secrets he's housing is finally taking its toll on him. "You should sleep," he counters, throwing the blankets over his husband and leaving the room before he can protest.

He needs air and space, so outdoors it is. Luckily for him, Vampire skin is thicker than Human or Hunter skin, so the cold is barely noticeable to him. He almost goes back inside though when he finds Yuuki on the veranda with a pipe in her mouth. A pipe.

She lifts her head at the sound of his footsteps, and after noticing what's got him staring, she snorts. A trail of wet stream of bubbles burbles out of the bowl. He raises his brows.

"Peppe's," she answers around the bit, looking down at it cross-eyed. "Well," she amends, "I bought it for Peppe. It's mine now." She offers it to him. He studies the thing, amused at how authentic it looks. "Can't sleep?"

"Nightmares," Zero says, slipping the pipe into his mouth.

"Same," Yuuki nods. "Sometimes I can't sleep for days. Sometimes sleeping is all I can do. It varies." She shrugs at his look. "Depression. What can you do?"

"Want to talk about it?"

Yuuki lets out a long sigh, and reaches for the pipe again. Zero wonders if it's a substitute for something else. "No. I've tried both with professionals and Ludo. Doesn't work for some people." She shrugs again. "And it doesn't go away or get better, despite what they tell me. You just have to learn to live with it." Her head lolls back against the swing-bench, and everything in her body language tells him she's tired. Achingly tired. "Life sucks, Zero. It's never fair, and just goes on and on."

"I thought you said talking doesn't help," Zero says teasingly, but takes the seat next to her, offering his ear. She slides down to rest her head on his shoulder and another sigh comes out, this one more wistful than tired.

"I haven't tried talking to you yet. It's always different with you. Maybe I've been waiting."

Something prickles at Zero. He slips his arm around her. "For what?"

There's a long pause where he doesn't think she's heard him. But then.

"For you."

Ah, it's his eyes that prickle, with tears it seems. He blinks them back stubbornly and pulls her closer to him, nose burning.

"Well I'm here now. So talk." God, he feels raw. First the nightmares, and now this.

Yuuki nods, but it takes a few minutes for her to start.

"There's a pain you get from… from preparing a place, making it nice and beautiful, and then that child never comes, and… it's all wasted. All of it. I waited for years and years. I made more places, each one different. Each one special. I tired myself out, so much so that all I can give Peppe are the left-overs, and I don't want that. I want better for him, but I can't give it. There's nothing left in me, Zero."

"There's plenty left," he wants to tell her, but he suspects Ludo's argued the same thing many times. She seems to sense this, and waits. After it passes, she continues.

"There are gaps in my memory where I can't remember doing things*. Ludo says things, like, 'Don't you remember that time when Peppe ran around the house wearing your bra like goggles and we had to chase him for an hour?' and I want to laugh and say 'I do, of course I do,' but I can't. There are lots of funny stories they tell me but I can't remember any of them. It scares me, Zero. Half the time I don't feel anything at all, and that's fine, but what if I do something bad and I can't remember it? I can't afford to be like this with a child in the house."

The pipe gurgles. She refills it, fingers trembling and spilling the soap.

"I tell you, nothing makes it better, and nothing makes it go away." Her eyes go unfocused as she studies the pipe. "It's been years, Zero. I still hope that someday it might come to pass, but recently I've started to think that maybe it won't."

"What helps?" Zero asks, finally finding his voice.

"I don't know," Yuuki whispers, her head dropping into her hands, "Doing things? Distracting myself? I try but I get so tired," a hand goes to her stomach, "It's as difficult to ignore as bloodthirst. Reminds me of my Awakening. When Kaname did that to me it was like he cracked my head open and all this — all this," she gestures around vaguely, "Fell out. I've told you before, it was like the old me got eaten up by this strange new me, this... Vampire Princess." Her laugh is jagged. "And now this newer me? This failure of a mother — she's killedthe old Princess, and all the innocence I used to have. Thing is though, twisted as it may be, I don't want to give up this pain. It's who I am now. It's all I have left of Yuuki. Losing my Humanity was agony, and losing my babies almost killed me, but I'm here now, and these people need me."

Despite all Yuuki's worries and fears, Zero can see that her family adores her. If she thinks she isn't doing enough, if she thinks she's not enough, she has nothing to worry about.

"They're worth living for," Yuuki concludes, and blows a jet of bubbles into the air. They watch them catch the rosy dawn light and pop, one by one.

"They are," Zero agrees firmly.

Yuuki shrugs him off, but takes his hands to lead him to the balustrade, the pipe bobbing on her bottom lip. She nudges him over to the corner and moves him till he is facing where the hill slopes down, the cascade of trees thinning to the far-left, and some sort of lake twinkling in the distance. The glowing clouds are getting steadily rosier and more golden. The sun will rise soon. The Vampire part of him that fears the light is easily ignored in anticipation of what is likely to be a gorgeous sunrise.

"You know, she'd be five by now."

Zero glances at Yuuki out of the corner of his eye, but she isn't even looking his way, her eyes fixed on the horizon.

"She'd be six in the spring," she continues. A minute passes, and then a glimmer of gold catches on the ends of her hair. What was auburn before, is now like fire. Yuuki smiles as the light travels up her throat, meeting her chin. "We burned her body. I had to fight Ludo and Ebba on that, but I told them I didn't want to risk her getting into the wrong hands. Even though the doctors were nice, I knew they wanted her for research, knowing that she was a rare hybrid," she turns to Zero, and smiles a little wider, "They had no right to her body on paper, but I didn't trust that they'd keep to the law. Hybrids are so rare, so they're always looking for more specimens. I thought you'd be proud of me, thinking so far ahead."

He nods, "I am." He hesitates. "That must have been difficult though."

She hums. "Ebba told me having the comfort of a grave might help, but I don't need a grave to remember her, and I wanted her to be left in peace, not in pieces."

Zero's nose wrinkles. "That's kind of morbid, Yuuki."

She grabs his arm, causing him to flinch. Maybe he overstepped the mark.

"You do whatever it takes to protect your children," she tells him, those flame-eyes burning the fear right out of him. "Even in death."

He thinks back to what Kaname and he agreed. The nightmares, both his and the baby's. They've managed to protect it from one thing, but what about what the baby fears? How can Zero protect them from something they don't even understand?

"Go to bed," she says, releasing him, and even though he isn't tired and it is morning, he goes, but when he reaches the door, he pauses.

"Yuuki?"

"Mm?"

"Did it help?" he fidgets, "You know. Talking."

The wood creaks under her foot, but she only seems to be shifting her weight. When he turns to look at her again, her hair is a fiery halo around her and her face bone-white against it. She leans back against the banister, folding her arms slowly.

"I don't know yet," she says evenly. "We'll have to see."

"Because I want to help," he blurts. "In any way I can. You helped me before, when I was… when I wanted to die." He watches her stiffen at the memory of those dark days, when she would soothe him after nightmares and offer him blood to ease his pain. With the threat of him falling to Level E looming over them, he'd begged for death from Yagari once, but Yuuki stopped him. They'd tried taming next, and then blood pills. They tried everything — "You saved me back then. Let me return the favour."

Bizarrely enough, Yuuki laughs, staggering forwards to meet him at the door. She reaches up to cup his cheek, and it's such a motherly gesture that Zero closes his eyes, swept by a wave of melancholy. "Oh Zero," she brushes past him, "How can you help me when you'll be going in a few days?"

"Yuuki…"

"Yuuki," Ludo exclaims, startling Kaname awake. "There you are," the giant rumbles, bending to catch her face in both hands. He tuts, "You've been in the Sun too long. Now you'll look like a tomato for the rest of today."

She laughs again, this time more warmly, her hands coming up to cover his. "I knew it. You only want me for my looks."

"Well, it's certainly not for your cooking."

Yuuki slaps him and stalks away with her nose in the air. Ludo grins after her, and then turns to his guests. He nods at Kaname, and then gives Zero a longer look, his eyes drawn to his protruding belly for a long moment before drifting back to his face. "Hungry?"

"Sure. I could eat," Zero smiles shakily.

"You should eat more," Ludo insists, poking him in the belly. He is startled at how forward Ludo is being, but maybe things are different here, he muses. Maybe people are more comfortable touching each other here than they are back home. "For the baby," Ludo adds, clapping a massive hand to Zero's back and herding him towards the kitchen, "You're too skinny."

Muffled laughter comes from the sofa. Zero shoots a glare at it from over his shoulder.

"What do you want? We have eggs, bacon, ham, tomatoes, bread — "

"Anything. I don't mind."

"All of it then."

Zero balks at the number of pans he sets on the stove, and watches in horror as he cracks a dozen eggs and empties an entire pack of bacon, and — "It's a good thing you have us here to help you eat all this," he chuckles uneasily, his stomach turning a little when the mushrooms join the pan. Something about the smell has his stomach turning.

"Oh no, this is just for you."

Nope. Zero can't take it. He spins around, looking for a bin, but before he can even take a step in any direction Ludo is shoving one at him. He sticks his head in, heaving for a few minutes.

"You definitely need to eat if you're sicking up too," Ludo mutters, "Gotta replace what goes out." He chuckles at Zero's horrified expression, "Gotta get some meat on your bones!"

Zero shakes his head at him and yells, "Yuuki! You're husband has gone nuts and is trying to fatten me up! Tell him to stop!"

A thundering of feet, and then, "I'm coming!"

But before Yuuki gets there, Ebba comes storming in brandishing a bamboo walking stick. She shuffles past Zero in wooden clogs and calmly swats Ludo with it till he backs off with a squawk, his hands held up as he roars with laughter. "It was a joke! Enough! Enough!"

When he tries to beg Zero for forgiveness, Yuuki finally enters the kitchen holding Peppe by the armpits. She aims him towards his oblivious father, and immediately he starts pelting Legos at him, shouting all the while. This family is crazy, Zero thinks faintly, still coming off the end of his bout of nausea. Peppe flashes him a sharp grin when he catches him eyeing the scene like he's witnessing a murder. It startles a laugh out of Zero, much to his despair.

"Do you think we have six stomachs each? This is too much! Waste, waste, waste!" Ebba snarls, flipping the bacon and stirring the eggs. Ludo is smart enough to know when he's outnumbered and slinks away to the living room, Peppe trailing after him all the while with his squeaky voice growing fainter as he delivers all sorts of threats. Ebba squints at Zero, her eyes flitting to the bin and back. "He's right. You are too skinny," she says slowly, piling a plate high with at least two thirds of the first batch of food. "Eat," she commands, thrusting it at him.

He takes a place at the table, and starts poking at the eggs dubiously. Yuuki comes to sit with him and tells him Kaname has gone out with Ludo to find a place where he can read the book privately. Peppe sprints into the room and hurries to pick up all his previous projectiles, Ebba nodding at him approvingly. Apparently he's been trained to pick up after himself. Zero gives him an appreciative smile that has him blushing brightly.

Again, the realisation comes to him that this ease — this homeliness — is going to be sorely missed when they leave. Coming here, he never expected to be received so warmly, or be welcomed into Yuuki's family so well. He pours juice for Peppe and lets him climb onto his lap, sharing an amused look with Yuuki. She nods at something Ebba says, getting up to help her with something, and watching her… he's amazed at how barely noticeable her sadness is. He can only see it when she falters sometimes, slowing in her movements when she struggles between a wave of doubt and reality. That gives him a tiny glimpse of the exhaustion that lies beneath.

"How do you do it?" he asks. She pauses, then continues sweeping the floor. He doesn't need to elaborate.

"I don't stop," she says simply. "I don't let myself think."

"But isn't it difficult, pretending all the time?"

She blows a strand of hair out of her face and gives him a flat look. "Why do you think I'm so tired? It's not difficult, it's just… tiring," she says, arms slowing as her eyes land on Peppe. "I'm not really hiding anything. Ludo knows. Ebba knows. Even Peppe knows, to some extent." The boy looks up when she says his name. Yuuki smiles, but he doesn't smile back. He cocks his head, eyes zoning in on something.

"Mama sad?" he chirps, and Zero can feel him readying himself, like a bird preparing to take flight.

"No, Mama's okay," Yuuki dismisses him, and looks up at Zero as if to say: see? He knows. "This is easier than pretending to be a Princess, that's for sure. This — this is what I want," she says, gesturing around with the broom. "Even if it's small, cramped, and messy. This is my home. It's my life. That," she jerks her head, gesturing to out there, "Wasn't mine. It was more like a dream to me. A fantasy, or fairytale. Being a Vampire was crazy enough, but a Princess too? I lost my sense of reality. I loved the thrill of it, but after the novelty wore off, I felt underprepared and… uncomfortable. Like I was playing a role, but not actually living. So I'll take all of this — the good, bad and the ugly, whatever comes. As long as I'm here, in my home, with my family — I know I'm in control."

"And that's important to you." Zero wonders where he's tethered to. What place can he call home anymore?

"It is," she agrees, "I'm still a Vampire. I'm still a Pureblood Princess but I'm a mother too, and a wife, and… and that's more to me than all of that. I miss being Human sometimes," she falters here, maybe surprised at the realisation and truth of it. "I grew up Human, Zero. All the memories I had of Juri and Haruka were gone, so while I was at school and then at the Academy… I thought I was Human. But now," she pauses, frowning. "Now I don't know what I am. In my heart I'm still Human, but physically I'm not. In spite of being Vampire, I don't feel thirsty much these days. When I do, I feed from Ludo, but… the thirst is gone, for the most part. I wondered why that was for a long time. Was it because I'm living with two Humans? Maybe I've become so good at lying to myself that I've managed to trick my body into thinking it doesn't need blood, but that would technically make me a Human then, wouldn't it?"

It doesn't work that way though, Zero thinks, and the purse of Yuuki's lips tells him she's thinking the same. No matter how much Zero willed his body to resist Turning, he still became a Vampire, and no matter how much he tried to reverse it later, it never took.

"You're a Pureblood," Zero says, thinking out loud. "Maybe if anyone could Turn back, a Pureblood could."

"I don't think it's that, Zero," she says softly, and pulls back her lips to show her fangs, "See? I've not changed, it's just the thirst. I think I know why I'm like this. I think it's them," she nods towards Peppe. Zero frowns, confused. "When I drink from them, I only need a little bit, and it lasts and lasts. Their blood is special to me because it's theirs. It's love, Zero," she says, matter-of-factly. He balks.

Love? "Love is always the answer, eh?" he jokes, but it falls flat. She looks utterly sincere. "Yuuki — "

"I think it is," she says, her eyes strangely intense, "There could be some truth to that saying. What other explanation is there?"

[Why is it that we yearn for blood? You drank blood because it was only blood to you. Look at them, so well fed —Lady had said to them — And now look at you. Starving.]

Could love be the answer? God, it sounded too cheesy, too simple to be true. But still, what did that mean? How could they break the curse with love? Kaname loved each other, if it required 'true love's kiss' then he'd kiss Kaname till his lips were bruised… was maybe that wasn't enough? Was their love not good enough to work?

He looks at Yuuki and thinks, maybe it isn't.

Maybe something like this — here — is what is needed. A family like theirs. A family that is happy together, who raise each other's spirits when they are down, who are held together by more than blood or Bonds. They want to be together, he thinks, and then thinks about him, Kaname, and the others. They keep splitting up with the intention of getting things done faster, and they always come back to regroup, but now… Aidou and Kain have gone their own way, needing to get away from them. Rima is drifting, barely able to stay civil around Kaname. He's pretty sure Ruka will want to go after her cousins soon enough. He doesn't even know why or how Kaito is able to stand sticking around them, since he so often complains that he can't stand any of their Vampire nonsense, but maybe that's just him being contrary. Seiren is bound to Kaname, but she knows her life-debt is null and void, so she is free to leave whenever. Ichiru is his brother, but he doesn't want him to feel obligated to stay with him either. Takuma and Shiki are probably better off staying wherever they are, far away from them. Zero doesn't think they'll be seeing them again.

So in the end, not only have they failed to keep their family safe, but worse, they've failed to keep them together.

He jumps when the door slams open, and Kaname is there — gaping at him like he just stabbed him in the heart.

Yuuki swings Peppe off Zero's lap and onto her hip and hushes his whimpering, shooting daggers at Kaname as she hurries to take her son somewhere away from his darkening aura. Zero breathes in deeply, not glancing away from Kaname for one moment as he slowly stands and approaches him. He takes the same measured steps he used to do when he had to calm White Lily down, hands flat and shoulders relaxed. Coming closer, he almost flinches when he sees that Kaname's fangs are swollen and his pupils dilated.

"What happened?" he asks. Then his eyes shoot to the book clutched in Kaname's hand, his claws cutting into the leather. Fuck. This is just like back at the crypt. "What upset you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" Kaname pants, his voice strained. Zero sighs.

"That's what you get for going through my thoughts," he mutters, refusing to be cowed by the Darkness. Kaname isn't angry at him. He's actually more afraid of Zero right then, so Zero forces himself to remain as unthreatening as possible, and not get angry himself. "I need you to calm down, Kaname."

Kaname sucks in through his nose and out through his mouth. They hear Ludo call out from outside, and it occurs to Zero that he probably had no idea why Kaname took off. Peppe's muffled voice rises in the background, and Ulli clicks his beak. Zero opens his mouth —

"I'm trying," Kaname insists, closing his eyes. Zero wants to reach out, maybe to take his hand or something. He wants to soothe him, but he senses that Kaname needs him to stay back, so he waits and watches, trying to ignore the others clamouring around them. The fangs slowly slip back into his gums, and the aura creeps back into Kaname.

"Good," Zero encourages, watching Kaname's claws recede, and light creep back into the room. "Good."

Kaname opens his eyes and is, for the most part, himself again, though his teeth are still unusually large, and his eyes have gone completely black. Zero suddenly gets the crazy idea that he should offer his blood to him, which is probably driven by what Yuuki said. He tilts his head to the side, offering himself to him, but Kaname shakes his head, stepping back. It's impossible to not be offended, but Zero tries to tell himself that Kaname is probably more concerned with losing himself again. Still.

"I need to go," Kaname says, eyes darting all over the place. "I need… to think."

"Okay."

Kaname nods jerkily, and after a moment's thought, shoves the book at Zero.

"You can read it if you want. I just… I need to think."

He runs out of the house before Zero can speak, and moments later Ludo staggers inside, panting up a storm. "What the — did he — what happened?" he gasps, collapsing on his knees, "Fuck, he's fast." Zero shakes his head, one hand gripping the book tight, the other clasped over his mouth. When Ludo manages to unfold himself and sees the state Zero is in, his eyes go wide and then deadly serious as he looks him up and down, taking in his trembling with growing suspicion. "Did he do something to you?"

"What? No!" Zero exclaims, "No, it was me, it was… it was nothing," he forces a laugh, wiping his wet face, "Just a misunderstanding."

Ludo looks doubtful, but nods slowly, "Anything I can do?"

Zero thinks for a moment. "Tell me where he is, so I can go to him later."

The next few hours, he helps Ludo with chores and half-listens to him babbling about this and that about work, and how he wishes Ebba would stop being so crabby, and how enamoured Peppe is of Zero. He learns that Ludo is a part-time student who hates the way his course is run with a fiery passion, but loves the subject matter itself and his classmates too much to abandon it too. Yuuki and Peppe don't return, and he doesn't blame them. If he were in their place and saw what Kaname looked like, he'd have run for the hills too. The sun rises further in the sky all the while, darkening the room when light can no longer stream in through the window. Ludo's last sentence runs off, and he pauses mid-scrub to study Zero.

"You can go check on him if you want. I think he'll have cooled off by now," he says evenly. His knees creak as he shifts on them. "I can go with you if you want."

It occurs to him, this late, that Ludo might still be under the impression that Kaname did something to him. All this time he's spent sulking in silence and rudely ignoring Ludo's subtle attempt at comforting him, Ludo's been thinking the worst of Kaname and —and now that Zero's clocked on, he sees that Ludo's positioned himself between Zero and the door... he is both touched and embarrassed by Ludo's well-meant, yet misplaced concern, and confused on how he's meant to set him right.

"Nah, I'll be fine, thanks," he says, and goes to the door. He stops there, debating on what he should say, and how. "... he won't hurt me," he promises Ludo, glancing back just in time to see his shoulders relax at that. He smiles. "I can handle him."

"If he tries anything, just yell," Ludo insists, making Zero's smile widen. What a guy. He's a great big mountain of a man, but he's still just a Human against a bunch of Purebloods and hybrid creatures of the night, and yet... Zero shakes his head. You picked a real good guy, Yuuki, he thinks to himself. "I can be fast too."

"I will," Zero says, and scurries off before Ludo can give him any more worried little frowns. He follows Ludo's instructions to the rocky trail that runs down the back of the property, carefully picking his way down the narrow ledges to get to the stony plateau Ludo spoke of. He can see Kaname sat on one of the bigger clints, his legs dangling in a wide gap between two rocky slabs. His back is to him, so when he edges around him, he is a little shocked to find Kaname still has his fangs and claws out. He can't tell where Kaname is looking, thanks to his inky black eyes, so when Kaname pats the stone next to him, he takes that as his cue to approach him. They sit for a while, baking under the heat, with their backs to the midday sun.

"I'm sorry," he finally says, taking one of Kaname's hands in his and carefully stroking the backs of his curved claws. "But it's just that... sometimes when I look at them, and look at us, I can't help but wonder: where did we go wrong? I know they aren't without their problems either, but compared to us they seem a lot happier. It helps that they haven't lost anybody either."

"What about Yuuki's babies?" Kaname asks, staring blankly ahead.

Zero feels a spike of anger at Kaname's blasé tone. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah," Kaname turns to him, his black eyes glinting. "What you meant is it helps that they haven't fucked up like I have. That's what you meant."

"Jesus, Kaname, stop putting words in my mouth," Zero growls. "Not everything is about you, you know."

"Well, if it's not about me and my failures, that must mean it's about you and your regrets," Kaname tells him, and points to his temple, "Don't deny it. I can hear it every time you think about what your life might have been like if you'd chosen a different path. I hear it every time you freak out about the baby and wonder what you might have done had you been able to get rid of it. I felt it when Yuuki talked to you about your rights to have a choice and how I violated you by forcing you into a corner with all of this, and how you agreed with her," Kaname closes his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning down. "Deep down, you sometimes wonder if maybe I've tricked you into loving me. Maybe our love isn't real. Maybe you shouldn't love someone like me." He opens his eyes. "Maybe we aren't good for each other. Maybe we're better off apart — "

"Hey, okay, stop right there!" Zero snaps, leaping to his feet, "Maybe you should stop digging around my head if you're so scared what you might find! Of course I have doubts, and regrets, but then again, who doesn't? Fucking hell, Kaname. Maybe the problem with us is a lack of goddamn privacy. Ever thought about that? People need space, you know. And boundaries. Space to think — to breathe. It's not healthy otherwise — that's another thing they've got down better than us. Ebba and Ludo back the fuck off when Yuuki needs it. They respect her space and yet, she knows if she calls for their help they'll come running."

Kaname stares at him.

"Whereas with us — "

"Whereas with us we're running circles around you trying to convince you we aren't going anywhere," Zero finds his voice cracking. "You don't trust us, Kaname. You never have. You're so scared that if you don't keep us all under your thumb we'll leave you and never come back. If only you knew the truth. That's the difference between us and them — Yuuki doesn't push her family away. She doesn't try to take on the world alone. Your love can be so suffocating sometimes, Kaname. You hold so tightly onto us that you make it painful to be with you. Why do you think Aidou and Kain have left? Why do you think Yuuki prefers her new family to us? When she looks back on what life with us was compared to her life now, I bet it probably looks like a fucking cage in comparison. Now that she's free, why the hell would she ever want to go back?"

The way Kaname slumps, Zero is terrified for a second that he's been hit by some invisible dart. He spins around wildly, looking for the shooter, but then realises how silly he's being. It's him. Kaname's been gunned down by nothing more than Zero's harsh accusations, each one of them hitting each of Kaname's weakest spots dead-on, because he knows exactly where to hit to bring him down. He crouches as low as he can, but the baby overbalances him, and he ends up on his knees.

"So you're saying... that being loved by me is like being kept in a cage?" Kaname looks sickened by the thought. Zero sighs.

"Sometimes... yeah," he admits. There's no point in lying to him. "Sometimes you make it feel like we can't leave you without hurting you. That's emotional blackmail, Kaname. It's not fair to use our love for you against us."

"I just wanted to keep everyone safe," he whispers.

"I know, and so does everyone, but your methods, Kaname... you go too far when you don't need to. We all love you, you know? Because in the end, you're a good person, and we know you'd do anything for us. If you trusted us, you'd know that, and not feel the need to go to such lengths to keep us with you. We're with you, Kaname," Zero says, leaning his hands on Kaname's knees, "We're all with you. All the way. Why can't you believe that?"

"Maybe that's the one thing I can't do," he says, "Maybe it's not that I can't trust you, but that I can't trust myself." He ever so carefully places his hand on the side of Zero's face, resting the tips of his claws so gently on his skin that all he can feel is the prickle of them. "I'm not in control, Zero. I pretend to be, all the time, but inside I know I'm not. There's this hunger deep inside of me that I can't ignore, and sometimes it consumes me, and all I know... all I know is that having you here with me helps."

[It's love, Zero.] Yuuki's words swirl around his head. If love is the answer, then love is what Kaname needs... but how can he show him that he is loved? Why does he doubt he's loved in the first place? Has Zero failed to prove it to him, despite sticking with him through all these years? Despite all of them flocking to Kaname's side whenever he summons them? He hungers for something — proof of love, or redemption. Something to rid him of his guilt, and give him hope.

The baby.

"Do you wish that you were free, Zero?" Kaname asks suddenly. He blinks, pulled from his thoughts by Kaname's hand on his shoulder. His hand is fisted to keep his claws hidden, knuckles braced on the meat of Zero's shoulder. There is no fear in Zero when he meets Kaname's dark stare, only sadness. He leans in to kiss Kaname, not caring when his fangs cut little slices in his lips and leaves blood in his mouth.

"I wish you'd trust us more. I wish you'd be more open with me. I'm not scared of you, Kaname. Nothing you do will make me scared of you. Not even when you're like this," he presses his forehead to Kaname's, "But I'm scared for you. The way you think... it's not about freeing people, but believing in them, if not yourself. I want us to be happy, Kaname, like Yuuki and her family. In the time we've been here, I've heard you laugh more times than you have in the past year. You watch them like they're... like they're make-believe or something, but they're real people. They're not perfect either, you know." It's ironic — this, in contrast to what Yuuki said about how she considers Vampire-life to be a fairytale compared to her life. "I'm sorry I compared us to them and made it seem like we are worse off than them. It wasn't fair of me to do that."

"You have nothing to apologise for. We are worse off than them, in many ways. It's... I wish I could go back and make things right." He's a little surprised when Kaname's tears spill over and they're not like black ink. "I wish I knew what to doto fix this, Zero. Then I could say this — maybe not all of it, but at least some of it, was worth it."

Zero squeezes Kaname's arm. "You can't fix the past. What's done is done. What we can do is look towards the future. Not in the way that you do — looking so far ahead that you ignore the present — but with tomorrow in mind. Paying attention to each step of the journey, Kaname, not just the end destination. I do think about what my life might have been like a lot, had I not gotten pregnant, but then I tell myself — this is my life now, and whether I like it or not, what I choose to do next is what matters. Wishing this, that and the other, isn't going to help anyone. Neither will comparing my life to Yuuki's and thinking I'm less fortunate. We all have our cross to bear, Kaname, but it's up to us whether or not we choose to help each other along the way."

"I know."

He closes his eyes, and more tears spill down his cheeks. Zero wipes them away, and watches them clump his eyelashes together, making them spiky and thick.

"It's just... being here with Yuuki and her family... I can't help thinking I've made a horrible mistake," Kaname gasps, shuddering against him. "What we're doing... where we're headed, it's so different from the life I wanted for us. I don't mean to be jealous, but I want their life, Zero. A simple life. A good life, with all of us together, and... and why does that seem so impossible?"

"It seems impossible because such a thing is impossible, Kaname. What you're picturing is an impossible dream. Even Yuuki's family isn't capable of that kind of perfection." In Kaname's mind, Zero can see what he's imagining: a life free from suffering, a life full of laughter and love. It's almost too bright, and devastatingly beautiful, but immediately Zero can tell that he's setting himself up for disappointment. Seeing Yuuki's family has bumped his dream up to unachievable heights. Kaname has used her family as a template to build his dream on — to make it appear more real, so there are sparks of Peppe's impish grin weaved into the imaginings of their child, and when he pictures Zero laughing with Ichiru and Aidou and the rest of them, their sunny faces are radiant in a way that almost seems divine. Zero wrenches himself away from Kaname's dream when it finally gets to be too much. "That's not us," he gasps out, dizzily blinking away the blaze of Takuma's effortless smile blurred with Yuuki's teasing grin, "We're not them, Kaname. And life... life is never simple.Nothing that's worthwhile is ever easy."

"... did you just quote Nicholas Sparks at me?"

"He has a good point. You've got to stop with all of this," he waves his hand around. "We're not them. We'll never be them. We're us, and there's nothing wrong with that. If we can't manage to have a 'simple, good life' — note how I'm using finger quotes whilst saying this — then let us aim for something a little closer to the ground. Something a little more achievable. What are the most important things we should aim for?"

Kaname stares at the rocky ground for no more than ten seconds before finding his answer.

"If we can be safe... and happy. If we can manage that much..." he shrugs.

Zero nods, "Okay. Safe and happy. That seems doable."

Kaname huffs a disbelieving laugh, "Does it? Hardly seems so to me."

He smacks him and wags a finger in his face. "With that kind of attitude? Of course it doesn't. Give us a chance, Kaname. Give yourself a chance to believe that we can get there. Nothing lasts forever — that includes the bad stuff too. When this is all over, you'll see." It's a flimsy promise. An empty promise. But what else can Zero offer him but that? "Now, do you want me to leave you to your thinking, or do you want me to stay? You're face is still kind of scary, so I think you'd better stay here till it calms down."

"I'll be fine here," Kaname says, kissing the back of Zero's hand, "I did actually mean it when I said I needed to think. Go back inside. You'll burn out here."

Zero drags a hand through his hair fondly, "So will you. Be careful."

"I'll see you later."

Zero leaves him on the rock, partially relieved that Kaname sent him away. After that little tiff, he's pretty sure he's given Kaname a lot more things to think about, and he bets part of the reason he asked to be left alone was to try his hand at giving both of them some space. He knows what he said was harsh and hurtful, but he prides himself in being brutally honest, and believes that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. For all that Kaname likes the idea of being there for his family and keeping them safe and happy, he has no idea how a family actually works. The fundamental understanding of what 'love' is seems to have escaped him somehow, or been misunderstood by him to mean something else altogether. Zero thinks back to the relics Kaname had kept from his Past with Isamu — all those things he'd put into glass cases to keep them safe and secure. He thinks about Yuuki's daughter who lacks a grave, but lives on in her heart. Even in death, he thinks. Even in death.

---

By some miracle it's the second warehouse they find him in. It's probably the only luck they'll be getting, since Kaito doesn't think life being fair is something he should start counting on, especially after all the shit they've been through. Like all Hunter buildings, this one is warded against Vampires, so they have to leave Seiren at the door. She grabs Kaito by the elbow just before he steps inside, a victorious smile cutting across her face.

"He's here," she tells him, wrinkling her nose, "Even through the stink of you Hunters, I can smell that godawful tobacco. Thank god for his bad habits." Then she slaps him on the ass, and he goes.

The place isn't big enough to give them time to build suspense. They walk straight in and find him there, in a pool of moonlight. The stench of blood has Kaito recoiling, one hand going to his nose, the other slamming across Ichiru's chest to stop him proceeding any further, in what he likes to call a 'total Mom-move'. For a moment he thinks Yagari's dead. There's enough blood on the floor for him to be and his head is hanging low, his whole body held up by chains. He shoves Ichiru further behind him, swallowing thickly, but then Yagari speaks.

"There are two cameras, one behind me, one at my three o' clock. Shoot 'em out before you get seen," he says in a surprisingly steady voice. Kaito lets out a sigh of relief and quickly takes them out. Then Ichiru bounds forwards, but Yagari's head snaps up and barks, "No." Ichiru pulls up short immediately. That tone always works on them, even now as adults. "These chains are infused with magic."

Upon closer scrutiny, Kaito can see the thin veins of magic threaded through the chains. He lets out a hum to show he understands, and tilts his head towards Ichiru pointedly. Yagari nods.

"Get him out," he says. Kaito knew that was coming, and is already moving to do so. "His blood is too Pure. He'll be more affected than us."

They've only been in the warehouse for a couple minutes, but the magic must be strong for Ichiru to show signs of being affected this soon, but it's plain to see by his shallower breathing, the slight tang of sweat, and dull sheen to his eyes. Kaito grabs him by the arm and starts to frogmarch him back out.

"Wait, what? Hey, no!" Ichiru exclaims, pushing back — but he's weaker too, and this is just from proximity to the chains. Kaito shoves him out the door and locks it. He hears him scrabbling at the door, and then silence. The brat is going to find some way in — he knows that much. Both of them do, but hey — he tried.

He turns back to Yagari and crosses his arms, feeling a little shaky himself when he breathes in the magic. Christ, it's strong. It'd have to be if it was to hold Yagari down. Even with him having Purer blood than Kaito, he'd fight with all his strength to get out, and boy was he strong.

"So, what sort of spell is it?" he asks, eyeing the chain again. How the fuck is he going to get Yagari out? He knows counterspells, obviously. Any Hunter worth his salt does. But he's no expert with them either, and this looks like it might be above his pay-grade. Yagari probably knows this too. Looking around the place for something to use, he grabs a tyre-iron off the floor and pokes at the closest bit of chain he can get to. "Ugh. It's tight."

"Don't."

Instantly, he stops. The strain in Yagari's voice has his stomach clenching. Once again, Kaito is reminded that despite all his wishes, Yagari is capable ofbeing hurt too. It's not something he likes being reminded of. He spits at the ground to express his dislike.

Just above the sound of his spit hitting the ground, he hears the rustle of clothing and a whistle of breath. He smirks. Nice try, brat, but not good enough.

Yagari doesn't seem to notice though. His breathing is laboured, and he struggles to keep his head up to look at him. Kaito crouches, and then sits in front of him. He's still puzzling over the chains when Yagari next speaks.

"I found it."

"Huh?" Kaito thinks he might be able to work out something that could weaken the spell. Maybe if he does it twice or with two enchantments he can weaken it enough to break the chain. It's just his fucking luck he forgot to bring his supplies. All he has with him is a small bottle of ink, a couple emergency scrolls and some fucking herbs.

"The stuff we've been looking for — I found it." This makes Kaito look up at Yagari's face. He can't stop his eyes drifting to the hollow of his right eye socket, but tries his best not to stare. Obviously he's seen it before, but it's always grossed him out. "The missing people. It's all connected to something bigger."

"Yeah, we already know this," Kaito says, shuffling forwards on his butt to listen.

"No, we only heard things. Saw things. But we never found any evidence."

"You telling me you got something?" Kaito's eyebrows jump. Of course sensei managed to get something, he scolds himself, even when taken hostage and tied up and tortured, he's still a freaking badass.

"Yeah, at the Archives."

"The building you took Toya to? Goddamnit, we just left that place — "

"We were looking for stuff on the Inoue guy, so I didn't have time to take anything, but I did find a list of names. On it, Kaito… I saw your brother's name," Yagari cringes, his eye scrunching closed, and Kaito's mind shutters. His brother. If you were to ask him who his brother was, he'd answer automatically: Ichiru and Zero, who else? But then he'd pause, and slowly remember, there's also him. "It's proof that this has been going on for far longer than we initially thought. The President was the only evidence anyone found of stuff happening, but everyone believed that was just a one-off. I've been wrong this whole time. I should have... I could have done something to stop this from happening a long time ago, if… if only I had listened to Taito."

"What are you talking about?" Kaito snaps, grappling with the thin string of twisted memories Taito's name brings about.

Out of his entire family, Taito was the only one he knew had cared for him. His family had been obsessed with training themselves to be the best. Always fighting amongst each other and putting each other down whenever someone showed a hint of weakness. He only remembers a few, brief moments when his older brother would flash a smile at him for doing something well, or wrap his knuckles for him when he punched too hard… but those memories were proof to him that he cared. They were few and far between because naturally, showing compassion was seen as a weakness too, but that only made them even more precious to him.

"It was after one of his missions," Yagari says, "He never tended to tell me what happened unless he wanted to ask for advice about how to do better next time, but this time… this time he came back and told me he'd seen something truly terrible. He was too scared to tell me what it was though, only saying if 'they' found out, they'd kill him. I put it down to nothing more than him being shaken by a particularly bad Hunt. It happens, I told him, you're young, you'll understand someday. He looked at me as if I'd threatened to kill him or something, and said that I couldn't mean that — I couldn't be like them.

"I didn't understand what he meant by that, and that was when I sensed he might have seen something pretty bad to be rattled by it this much, since like all Takamiya's, it takes a lot to frighten him. I told him to explain himself, but then, the things he told me… I didn't believe him. He'd always had a wild imagination, so... no, it doesn't forgive the fact that I should have trusted him. I'm making excuses for what I did, when if only I'd listened — "

"Sensei, slow down and tell me what he told you," Kaito cuts in, his hands clamping around his knees.

"It was an unplanned escort mission, he said — because when a group of Vampire plan to go into a mainly Human-populated area for business, they're usually assigned Hunter guards to ensure that they behave, but this time they weren't. Taito brought this up with the President, who told him two senior Hunters were already planning to go, but he argued that that wouldn't be nearly enough for a group of that size, so he offered his services and the President reluctantly agreed to let him tag along. Immediately, he noticed the other two Hunters didn't bring as many weapons with them as they should have, which he found very strange. Then when the Vampires arrived at their destination, he was told to stay outside, but he was curious, and so he listened in. He heard the senior Hunters talking to the Vampires about something to do with shipments, and then he smelt blood so he opened the door, and that's when he saw Humans… Humans being tasted by the Vampires." Yagari opens one furious eye. "There was a group of them being handed around and tasted like a fucking bag of chips, he told me. They were drugged to the gills too, so that they wouldn't struggle. And the Hunters weren't doing anything, Taito said. In fact — they were the ones who had arranged bringing them to the Vampires. In exchange, he saw the Vampires giving the Hunters vials of Pure blood." Yagari grits his teeth. "All of this, he saw, and because of what I'd said to him accidentally... he thought I was one of them, Kaito."

"But you told him you weren't, didn't you?"

"I meant to, but what I actually told him was that he must have been mistaken," he snarls. "I told him he probably misunderstood what was happening. I don't know how I could have been so — so fucking stupid. There he was — risking his life to tell me the truth because he was scared of who to trust, and thought that I'd believe him. That I'd protect him. He came to me hoping I'd do something about it, but instead I told him to keep his damn mouth shut and stop making things up or else he'll get in trouble for it."

"But why?" Kaito whispers.

"I was new to the job back then," Yagari says, "Younger, more easily scared. I thought my superiors would punish him if they heard him spreading these rumours, especially when rumours about the President being involved in a similar kind of deal with the Council were already running amok. It's bad enough if one of us is conspiring with the Council, but more than one? That's as bad as saying all of us are. That could ruin us. I was scared of that possibility, and even more scared about if Taito was right. What would that mean then for us? For everyone? I thought if I could convince Taito to keep quiet about it, then he would be safe. He was adamant though — "

"No," Kaito chokes. He knows the rest of the story. He can see where this leads to, now that he knows where it began, and he doesn't want to hear it.

" — he couldn't understand why I would want to keep silent about something this awful. Wasn't it our job to protect Humans? How then, could I live with myself, knowing that they were being fed to Vampires and doing nothing about it?"

"Sensei, enough."

"He told me they'd offered him the Pure blood for his silence when they caught him eavesdropping, but he'd refused. He'd promised not to tell anyone, but then he told me. Fuck, he was so young. He had no idea that the higher-ups have ways of keeping their eyes on us. They probably knew the moment he opened his mouth."

Kaito shuts his eyes. He can still remember the force it took to pull the trigger, how quick and easy it was to do so when faced with that monstrous creature that barely resembled his beloved brother. And then it when it ended, he remembers the scream torn from both of them, moments before his body turn to dust.

"I failed him," Yagari whispers, "I was meant to protect him, but I was too scared. And when he went on his next mission, I should have stopped him. I knew it was likely they'd do something to him to keep him quiet."

"So they Turned him."

The truth is, Kaito isn't that shocked by all of this. It makes too much sense to him for him to deny any of it, filling in all the gaps he'd purposefully left untouched ever since Taito's death, and a small, twisted part of him is glad to finally know the reason why his brother was made a Vampire. For years he'd assumed (like most had) that Taito had been seduced by some Pureblood and been bitten by them, and fell to Level E as a result of neglect, when in fact it was forced on him as a punishment. Whilst that's not a good thing either, in a way it does give him some closure. Now Kaito knows the truth, he's proud that his brother was brave enough to stand up to these corrupt bastards, choosing honour over power, but at the same time... knowing what happened has an unfortunate downside. Now he knows what Yagari did and didn't do, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"I should've been the one to do it," Yagari says. Kaito flinches at that. He knows what he's referring to. "It shouldn't have been you... either of you."

Yagari's right. He should've been there both times — for Taito and for him. But when it came to it he wasn't, and both brothers paid the price.

He waits for the anger to take over. Anything? The disbelief. A flicker of betrayal. Nothing. He's more angry that he can't be angry. More shocked at his lack of emotion, and underwhelmed by the realisation of where his loyalties truly lie.

He clears his throat. "Doesn't really matter now. He's dead either way."

"He was like you, Ichiru and Zero are to me. I couldn't kill my son."

Kaito nods silently. He knows this. He knows everything.

But apparently I could kill my brother. Yagari seems to be waiting for his anger too. They both know he has a short temper, but Kaito... Kaito is numb. This isn't the sensei he knows — the man who taught him to honour the Hunter's Code above all else, no matter how or what you feel. He doesn't recognise this man in front of him. He doesn't know what to say to him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He knows the answer: there was no point, telling him wouldn't have changed a thing... he was too scared to. Yagari shakes his head, his lips a tight line. It's a relief to feel a burst of annoyance then, but in a blink it's swept away by a wave of sadness. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

His silence speaks volumes.

Before Kaito can even frown, Ichiru steps out of the shadows, his face corpse-white.

"Explain," he demands, shuddering when the magic prevents him from coming any closer, "I don't understand. This mission, the President, the Hunters — what are you two talking about? I thought the President got sacked for his dealings with Asato? Are you telling me there are Hunters other than him who have been taking blood?"

Yagari sighs, "Yes, and it's been going on far longer than any of us assumed. Maybe even before King Haruka was killed. Kaien told me he suspected that either Haruka or Juri had uncovered something that tipped them to what the Council were doing, and he tried to catch the President in the act several times too, but each time we got too close we were distracted by having to deal with something else. In the end the only one who managed to witness the deals happening firsthand ended up being Taito."

"Why didn't you say anything then? If you thought Taito might be telling the truth, especially after he was Turned… that should have been enough to convince you to say something!"

"Where was my proof?" Yagari says, sounding tired, "My word wouldn't be enough against theirs. Neither would Taito's, and the fact that I was his mentor would mean they'd expect me to be biased. It would be my word against the President's, with nothing to back me. Also, if I alerted them to the fact that I was aware of their dealings, they could try to silence me too. I wanted to tell someone, but I knew if I died too, I'd be failing him a second time. I knew I had to wait for the right time to reveal everything, and once I found some evidence I could take them down. For me, this whole thing has become a debt to him."

"Should've told me that," Kaito growls — the first sign he's shown of being angry with Yagari.

"Would you have worked with me if I had?"

It's a test. Yagari knows the answer — of course Kaito would, but admitting this was not something he could bring himself to do. They both know he'd follow Yagari to the ends of the world and more, but his family's lessons were beaten into him till he could never forget them: compassion is weakness, compassion is weakness, compassion is weakness. He learnt under Yagari that loyalty came with compassion, even in the loosest sense — you have to care about someone if you are prepared to die for them. That's just how it goes.

"You say you found his name in the Archives," he says instead, "Why was it there?"

"I only got a glance, but it was a report about the escort mission he went on. It was actually a meeting he witnessed between the Hunters and Council. They were negotiating the terms of the contract because more Hunters had agreed to sign on to the deal, which meant more Pure blood was needed, and therefore more Humans needed to be supplied to pay for it. Specific names were mentioned during the mission — names that would condemn the Council if they were to get into the wrong hands. They were afraid Taito might have mentioned them to someone else, so they kept note that he was there, even after the was terminated. They suspected he'd spoken to somebody, but didn't know it was me."

"What names were they?"

"The names of the Purebloods they got the blood from, of course," Yagari says, and Kaito can practically feel his ears pricking up in interest. Yagari pauses, his face strained. "It explains why the Hio clan are said to have gone mad over the years, and why they and the Hanadagi's were put to Sleep. The Council have always claimed it was for their protection, and they were tasked by the King to keep them protected, but all this time they've been tapping them for blood. In exchange, they get fresh Humans to feed on, supplied by the Hunters."

"God," Ichiru breathes, looking like he's about to be sick. "But how can they... we're meant to protect them."

"And the Council are meant to protect the Purebloods," Kaito snaps, "Corruption at its finest. They're all a bunch of liars. I'm so fucking surprised."

"Me and Kaito have been working on this case for years now, ever since the Peace Treaty, come to think of it. Humans have been going missing at a growing rate — no one's really paid attention because of the war going on, which is precisely why they've been getting away with it. They pick people off the street, criminals, the homeless — people who are vulnerable, and less likely to be missed. The Hunters are taking the war as an opportunity to up their end of the deal in exchange for even more blood. I suspect that part of the reason for why the Vampires are feeling extra sensitive to the power struggles within the upper classes is because when you tamper with Pure blood, it's always trickles down into the lower classes and ends up being felt by everybody. They don't know that it's their very own Purebloods being violated that's causing them to feel like this, all they know is something feels wrong, and when there's a feeling of wrongness and no one to blame, it's easy to pin the blame on the man who's done them wrong by leaving them to this."

"Kaname," Ichiru gasps, eyes flying wide open.

"The Council and Hunters are using him as a scapegoat, and getting away with murder."

"That's not just murder, that's slaughter — they're criminals. Sensei," Ichiru's hands tighten into fists, "I'm sorry, but what the fuck."

"We've been trying to prove this for six years, but trying to catch them is like trying to catch smoke. When I became the new President of the Association, we saw it as an opportunity to work this from the inside. I got access to places I never had before so I thought surely I'd be able to find something, but until now they've been frustratingly good at covering their tracks, and I found myself struggling just to stay afloat with all the work they gave me to do. Being in amongst the corruption, I was using all my time trying to play along and not get caught myself, which is how they kept me even more in the dark. Kaito couldn't find a way in either because they know to keep an eye on him too, because he's like a son to me. We kept at it though. We knew they had to slip up at some point, and that there had to be a paper trail out there somewhere, because in the end — despite their long-term partnership, the Hunters and Vampires will never trust one another. The Hunters were bound to have some evidence against the Council to use as leverage against them if necessary, and if we got the Hunters we'd get the Council by proxy."

"So now that we know where this evidence is, we can expose them," Ichiru says, perking up slightly.

"No, you can expose them," Yagari corrects, looking at both of them, but mostly at Kaito.

Kaito forces himself to breathe slowly. He knows everything. He knows what he's saying. He knows what he's going to ask of him.

He clenches his jaw.

"What do you mean?"

Kaito stands, and goes to Ichiru's side. He takes his arm, which makes him frown at him in confusion. Kaito doesn't even look at him. He can't.

"What are you doing? Kaito? Hey!" Ichiru plants his feet, and maybe he's got used to the magic, because there is more force to him now. Kaito is stronger though — always has been — so he takes his other arm too and starts pushing Ichiru along.

"Wait, Kai — hold on."

"He doesn't have to see this."

"What is wrong with you?" Ichiru growls, shoving his hands at Kaito's chest hard enough to make him stagger back a few paces. He's a little impressed, but mostly irritated. Trust a Kiryuu to be stubborn as an ox. Ichiru spins to face Yagari, his eyes alight, "Sensei, what are you trying to say?"

"I can't come with you," Yagari says simply. Kaito doesn't want to look at him either, so instead he stares blankly at the puddle of blood Yagari's kneeling in. He counts the slashes all over Yagari's body, noting that they aren't healing, and considers the grey pallor of his skin. One of his legs is twisted unnaturally, and his breaths are purposefully slow, yet unmistakably shallow. "Are you really going to make me say it, Ichiru?"

"Please," Ichiru nods uncertainly. Kaito doesn't know if he's being intentionally obtuse, or if he's in denial. "Explain."

"I'm old, son," Yagari smiles weakly, "Old and beaten and slow. There's no way I'm getting out of here."

"That's not true," Ichiru scowls, "You've taken worse beatings than this before." Whilst this is true, he can see by Yagari's face that he's calculated the odds, and found they aren't in his favour. Ichiru looks utterly confused though, as though he simply cannot process the idea of Yagari being beyond saving. He's still under the illusion that Yagari is indestructible — nothing can kill sensei. Kaito wants to believe the same. Either that, or for Ichiru to grow up. "If you're hurt, Kaito and I can carry you, or even Seiren if she agrees."

"Removing these enchantments will trigger an alarm. They'll be here within minutes."

"Seiren's fast."

"Ichiru, drop it," Kaito snaps. "He's not coming."

"We can't just leave him!"

"No, you can't," Yagari agrees, "They've been torturing me for information."

"I'm so surprised," Kaito repeats under his breath, though he cannot bring himself to put his heart into it.

"The Hunters want to know about where Kuran is and what he's up to. They're scared that with the Council in shackles, all their secrets will come out soon, and they suspect Kuran has found them out and run off with evidence. They've used everything they can, so far, to get to me, but I know where they're gonna use next," he says, staring up at Ichiru. "You," he whispers, "My sons. But more specifically, Zero. They know he's also important to Kuran, so if they get their hands on him Kuran, there's a chance he'll come to save him. They've gone off to find out how to find him, but it's only a matter of time till they figure out that they can find him through me."

Maybe this is the only thing Kaito doesn't know then — "What do you mean?"

"They'll look through his records and find out about his tattoo," Yagari explains, "It can be tracked."

"The Hunter's tattoo?" Ichiru asks, "But that's not to track him. That's meant to tame him, and he told me he was tamed by Yuuki, not you."

"That's what he thinks. That's what we told him," Yagari says, this time turning to Kaito. A horrible awareness is building, and he can feel it piercing him, swirling in his head all muddled because he doesn't want to see what it's saying.

"But it's the bracelet that tames him — the bracelet she always wears," Ichiru carries on, "They'd have to get that from her then."

"We told him it was the bracelet he was bound to, but when Kaien performed the taming ceremony, I was there," Yagari explains, "It requires a Hunter witness, and I wanted to be there for Zero anyway. We'd discussed what would be used to tame him, but then Yuuki came barging in as she always did back then, insisting she wanted to be the one responsible for him. He was so touched by the offer that he accepted, but Kaien and I knew we couldn't let that happen. We didn't want Yuuki to have to be responsible if he ever lost control, because... it changes you when you become someone's keeper. We wanted to protect them from that, and let them be kids, you know? So we agreed, just before the ceremony, that I would be the one to tame him."

"But — but she's used the bracelet on him before!" Ichiru exclaims, and Kaito raises his brows — this being news to him. "He told me — "

"During the ceremony, Kaien was careful to make sure they both saw blood being put into the bracelet. What they didn't know was that blood wasn't Zero's."

"So the bracelet is a fake," Kaito concludes.

Yagari nods, "If Yuuki ever tried to use it on Zero, the thing you have to remember is that she's a Pureblood. So even back when she didn't know it, if she believed enough in her ability to tame him, she probably would've been able to. Purebloods are just that powerful."

"What did Kaien tame Zero with then?" Ichiru asks, narrowing his eyes at Yagari, "Where did you keep it? Can't be in the hat, or your clothes… is it your gun?"

"It's there," Kaito says, pointing at the right eye. Yagari smiles.

"Clever boy." Kaito can almost feel him ruffling his hair as he says this. "There's a reason it took so long to heal. It's also the reason why I always keep it covered."

"Other than the fact that it looks fucking gross, and eye-patches are sexy."

Yagari snorts. "Other than that."

"They can track Zero from that?" Ichiru asks disbelievingly, "But… but how? There's nothing there."

"It's not the eye itself, it's — it's the space behind it, or… I don't fucking know. I never asked. Kaien put something in there, that's all I know, and when they find out — "

"But surely in his records it has down that Zero's tamed by Yuuki, not you," Kaito argues.

"You can't lie on record," Yagari sighs, "Or at least, Kaien didn't. We told Yuuki and Zero differently, but officially I'm written down."

"Fuck."

Whenever Ichiru swears, Kaito usually makes a point of jeering at him to piss him off, but this time his attention is on more pressing things, such as Yagari's eye socket and trying to ignore Yagari staring back at him as much as he can. He's failing on the second part — he can practically feel him tracing his features with his one good eye, and then moving to do the same with Ichiru, as if hoping he can keep them in his memories forever.

"Do you think it will work?" he murmurs lowly to him.

Yagari twitches. It's the closest he can get to a shrug. "It should. Do it twice, to be sure."

Kaito glares. "You ask a lot of me."

"I ask too much," Yagari corrects gently, his eyes searching, "I always have. Especially of you."

For a long moment, they simply stare at each other. At first it's a contest, but then Kaito relents, and bows his head.

After another beat, he spins on his heel and opens the door. Immediately, Seiren is there. She almost smiles at Kaito, but something in his face stops her. He leans in to whisper something to her which makes her eyes dart between Ichiru and Yagari, and then she slowly nods. When he turns back to his family, his body is alarmingly tense, which makes Ichiru flinch when he takes him roughly by the arm. It's then that Ichiru knows — just like Kaito, just like Yagari — what is about to happen.

Kaito isn't surprised that he has to fight Ichiru with every scrap of strength he has. He admires him for his tenacity, but it isn't the time for it, and he's tired. He's so goddamn tired, and he hasn't even done the deed. Ichiru digs an elbow in his side that knocks the air out of him. He almost falls onto his knees at the force of the blow, and finds it difficult to resist the temptation to lie down and let Ichiru go. Not letting himself be stopped, not letting himself lose — for the first time ever, he wishes Ichiru were stronger, so that he might defeat him.

"Sensei, no," Ichiru cries over his shoulder when Kaito manages to push him into Seiren's arms. She takes him as easily as if he were a baby, but in spite of the fact that him beating at her arms probably won't even bruise her, her face is pinched. She turns troubled eyes on Kaito, torn by what she has promised him, and what she knows Ichiru will see as her siding with him.

"Take him," he says, feeling like an absolute monster when he Ichiru strains his neck back to look at him.

"Please Kai, you can't — don't — "

Kaito cups Ichiru's face much more gently than he thought he'd be capable of, given the circumstances, and wipes a teardrop away. "Make sure he's far away. I don't want him to hear a thing."

Seiren bites her lips, and nods.

He shuts the door but can still see Ichiru's tear-streaked face there and hear him sobbing through the metal, fading a little more with every step Seiren takes him away from them. He's more angry with Yagari because of this than he was about Taito, but he drags in a deep breath and clamps down on the anger. The fear. Everything. When he came into Yagari's house, he trained him out of this, telling him that emotions don't make you weak. He'd pushed him to embrace his emotions, encouraged him to love and feel, and praised him when he smiled. He'd promised him all of these things were important and would make him strong.

"You've always been better at protecting them than me."

Kaito scoffs. It takes a long time for him to be able to turn around, but eventually he does. Yagari is not bothering to hide his pain anymore, hanging limply from the chains like a marionette. The magic isn't just subduing him, it's also draining him of his strength. His breaths are uneven and there's a strange rattle in his throat. He knows what this all means, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept what's happening. He's never seen Yagari so defeated to him before, or thought he could ever look this small.

"Really? Me?" he sneers, unable to stop himself. "Are you sure? I mean, I've already killed one brother, and now that I have to kill you too. I'd say that Ichiru and Zero had better watch their backs around me."

"You know what I mean."

He does. He prides himself on shielding Ichiru and Zero from whatever he can, be that the world at large or their shared father-figure, if need be. It's the best way he knows of showing that he cares. Of course he knows what Yagari means — everything he knows, he's learnt from him.

"They'll never forgive me for this."

That is what's making him hesitate. If Yagari goes, the twins are all the family he'll have left. Ichiru looked at him like he was a monster. Zero has no idea about what's happening here right now.

"Yes they will," Yagari insists, somehow calm and sure. Wherever he was finding this calmness from, Kaito follows his lead seamlessly, tapping into it and letting the feeling of serenity pass over him too. This was one of the most difficult lessons Kaito had to learn from him: how to know when the fight is over and accept defeat with grace. His temper hadn't allowed it when he was younger, but after years of practice it's almost like muscle-memory now. Yagari's mouth does the twitch that means he's done well, and he's proud of him. It never fails to feel like sunshine on Kaito's skin.

"Tell me what I have to do." When Yagari looks at him, confused at this request, he sighs. "I can't think right now. Tell me what you want done."

Yagari thinks for a minute, and then speaks.

"You have to end it — all of it, this time. That means no more Presidents, no more Association, no more Hunters. The Humans trusted us, and Our Lady too, but this — what the others have done… they've ruined us, and everything we stand for. There's no way we can make it right, but what we can do is finish us off... end the Hunters, once and for all."

"What about the Council?"

"If you can, get them too," Yagari nods, "Though I expect Zero's Vampire friends will be dealing with them themselves. That is Vampire business, even if it's mixed with our business. I think that guy, Ichijou — he's got connections to the Council." He scrunches his face up in thought. "Yeah, his grandfather fucked it up, if I remember correctly… so I bet he'll be trying to clean them up too. If he needs help too, then do what you can. We're all after the same thing."

Kaito nods.

Justice — that's what they're after. He knows what he's tasked him with is the right thing to do, but the sheer weight of it is… what he's asking of Kaito, is to tear apart the foundations of his whole world. Yagari knows what being a Hunter means to Kaito. It's what he built his life on, the only reason he thought Yagari would agree to take him in, the common ground that allowed him to share breathing space with the infamous Kiryuu twins. His Hunter roots were what secured him this foothold in life, and gave him this family he'd give his life for to protect. For the longest time he that what tied him to his family was this, and only this, which is why he tried to be the best Hunter he could.

He knows different now. He's known for a while that Yagari will still love him even if he fails a mission, even if he fucks up in the worst of ways, even if he decides he wants to give up Hunting for good and open up a coffee shop. He'd allow him all this and love him still. And yet.

"And then what should I do?" he asks. Like a child asking to hold his hand. He feels scarily young, and back in the same mindset he had when Yagari took him in. What do you want me to do for you to keep me? What do I have to do so I can stay here? he'd asked when he first came into his house. Yagari has the same expression on his face that he did back then: all heartbroken, like he can't believe he's even asking him this. "All I am is this," he says, and means it. He's a Hunter. That's all he has. If that's taken away from him, then what will he be?

"That's not even a little bit true," Yagari says, his voice like warm arms holding him tight. "You are so much more than you think."

The words are spoken with such fondness that Kaito winces, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. They never talk like this. It isn't what they do. What they know, they don't have to express in words, but... maybe it's time to change that now. There isn't much time left otherwise to say them.

"I don't know," he says, shaking his head, "I don't really have many transferrable skills I can put on my resumé, you know? I think I'll be out of a job."

"That's alright. That's what Kuran's for. We all know he's loaded."

This startles a bark of laughter from Kaito. Yagari beams at this, flooding Kaito with an emotion that steals his breath. What is he doing, laughing and joking at a time like this?

"You know you're allowed to laugh," Yagari says knowingly, "You shouldn't try to stop yourself from smiling. I want you to be happy — "

"How the fuck will this make me happy?"

"Not this, but after." They both consider this. Then Kaito laughs. Yagari lets him, and then, he knows, it is time. They both watch him take his gun out and line up the shot. There's no way he can miss, and he doesn't want to. It's going to be quick. Painless. Absolute. Do it twice, to be sure. His eyes keep flicking over Yagari, from his face to his broken leg. His hands are shaking. It'll be quick, he knows, but this time... not as easy. "Don't be afraid. Breathe."

"Don't tell me what to fucking do."

"Hm, you were asking me to, not long ago — "

"Stop distracting me. I'm trying to... I need to..."

The bickering between them doesn't settle him. Nothing will. He knows he will have to do this, shaky hands or not, and stalling won't help either. He can't miss. Yagari is trusting him.

"Wait." This time it's he who stalls. The thought isn't even fully formed in his head, but his hands know what they're doing — reaching into his large coat pocket to pull the sad-looking hat out. He shakes it out with one hand, which doesn't do much for the shape, but Yagari's eyes widen in recognition. He offers to put it on him. "It only seems right," he says, grimacing at the wet slapping sound it makes as he tries to straighten it out for Yagari, but before it can make it there, Yagari curls his lips in disgust.

"Get that thing away from me," he snaps, eyeing the filthy thing with obvious distaste. Kaito sighs.

"What do you expect, sensei? We found it in a gutter."

"It's not that," Yagari says, though he does look rather disgusted by the condition of his much-beloved hat. "I don't want to be wearing it when I die. My sensei gave it to me, you know. It was sort of an heirloom for her clan. She'd be sad enough to know what it looks like now, but she'd never forgive me if I got my blood on it too." He shakes his head fondly, and though Kaito has never heard about Yagari's sensei before (and never even considered he might have one, since he'd always assumed he came out of the womb knowing how to Hunt, and that Kaien was the one who taught him anything else he didn't know), he smiles too. "Take it," Yagari says. "It's yours." That wipes the smile clean off Kaito's face.

And suddenly he's crying. This is what breaks him — an ugly, sopping wet hat. The poor man's heirloom. It's so ridiculous that he wants to laugh, but something has broken the dam, and everything's pouring out of him now. Every emotion he tried to hold back. Suddenly he thinks he knows how Kaname must have felt when he tore Isaya's throat out, but part of him — the angry part — thinks this has got to be infinitely worse. Through blurry eyes, he checks his aim and then pulls the trigger. Once. Twice. The chains creak when the weight of his body fully slackens, but all Kaito can hear is the silence that follows.

It ends when a sob breaks out of him. And then another. And another.

And then he covers his eyes and sinks to the floor.

He doesn't know how much time passes, but when he finally lifts his head and can bring himself to look at Yagari, the dam is back up, and his mind is like glass: absolutely clear.

If the chains on Yagari's body were charmed to know if he's escaped them and designed to alert the Hunters if he did, it's likely they'll also react to him being dead. Magic can't work on the dead, after all, so they'll probably know something has happened and be arriving soon. He stares at the hat in his hand for a long moment before tossing it to the ground. He's tempted to throw his own in too, but if he does he'll be leaving proof that he was here, and it won't help any of them to have his name added to the hit-list the Hunters have been compiling. Yagari wanted him to finish what he started — well, what Taito started, really. He can't do that if he's dead too.

The word swirls around his head endlessly, impossible for him to properly comprehend. This is not the first life he's taken, but most of the ones before have always ended in a cloud of dust. Their bodies don't stay behind after he's killed them. It seems cruel that this is the only one he's left with.

He clears his mind again, thinking about what else he needs to do. What else he needs to think about.

They'll have to go to the Archives immediately after this. The Hunters won't be expecting them to come back so soon after Yagari and Rima's break-in, which is why, he tells himself, it will work. They'll go in, get the documents, the names list and records of the meetings, and then he'll think of how he's going to expose them. All of them. The Hunters and the Council. They won't survive this. When the world learns what they've done and what they've been up to, he won't even have to lift a finger. He can sit back and watch them be ripped apart.

There's more things to take care of, he thinks. There's something he's missing. He can sense it as he stares unseeingly at one of Yagari's loosely curled hands, half-cast in shadow and spattered with blood.

The bullets. He shot Yagari twice. Both bullets, when found, will trace back to his gun. He's going to have to dig them out. He can't leave behind any evidence. Time blurs again. Kaito cannot get himself to move. He's done a lot of horrible things in his life, but this... this makes him want to run, or scream, or vomit. Anything but this.

Just as he lifts himself unsteadily to his feet, another thought dawns on him — saves him, just in time — and he blames his mind for being too slow, and letting him sweat so much when he knew this. He knew, but the shock was messing with him. He pulls the gun he used out again though, just to check, and he's glad. He was right. He laughs. Yes, it's exactly as he thought. As he knew. He'd given his gun to Ichiru before this mission, so the gun he used was his back-up which was given to him by Yagari.

Fate is a cruel, sadistic bitch. Somehow she knew. Somehow she planned it to work out like this, he's sure of it — how else could have turned out this way? If he'd given Ichiru Yagari's gun and kept his own, he'd be screwed right now, but he hadn't, and thus Yagari was killed by his own gun. Thanks a lot, he laughs bitterly, wiping the gun carefully for prints, and then leaving it by Yagari's side. There's no way he can bear the thought of taking it with along with him, never mind if that leaves him without a weapon. That gun killed his father — no, he killed his father with that gun. Same difference. He laughs and laughs, until his laughs turn into sobs.

How did a rescue mission end up turning into an execution?

He ponders this as he lifts his eyes to take in Yagari for the last time.

He smiles, that stupid mantra echoing through his head: compassion is weakness.

What a load of shit.

"Goodbye, sensei."

He doesn't remember running back to the others. The next time he's aware of himself is when Ichiru is punching him in the jaw. He almost loses consciousness from that alone, but Seiren catches him and quickly blocks him from Ichiru's wrath. The younger Kiryuu is furious, his face red and wet from crying. He drops to his knees beside Kaito, who fully expects another beating, but then he curls into his side and cries like his heart is breaking. Heck, it probably is. Kaito knows his is definitely broken. He hooks his chin over Ichiru's shoulder and pulls him under his arm. Seiren wraps herself around both of them, and for god knows how long the three of them sit there, mourning yet another life.

When they finally run out of tears, Kaito sits up and pulls them up with him, his mind made up: his plan set.

"When we go to the Archives, we get everything," he tells them, "All the reports, the names, the stuff on Inoue — everything."

"And then what?" Ichiru sniffs, wiping his nose on Kaito's shirt, "What do we do with it?"

Kaito jostles him, "We get it out to the public. I don't know how, yet, but we'll work something out later. I'll kidnap a fucking News reporter if I have to. I don't fucking care. What matters is we get everything we can on everybody and make them pay, 'cause there's no way that he… there's no way any of them are going to have died for nothing."

Seiren grunts in approval.

"Alright then," Kaito grins fiercely, all bloodthirsty and savage. "Time to get this show on the road."

---

The plan ends up being: Part One — make a public announcement about the upcoming negotiations (who will be involved, what will be discussed), Part Two — hope that the parties show up to the trial (this part is the crux of the plan, and cannot be guaranteed, much to Takuma's concern), Part Three — carry out negotiations and hope to hell everyone comes out of this whole thing alive. It's a neat, simple plan to follow, but none of the actual execution of it is going to be easy. It will be messy, there will be a lot of back-and-forth between the opposing parties, and there are likely to be mobs and riots. No one's going to be happy, but then again, this revolution isn't meant to make people happy. It's meant to keep people safe.

He smacks a stack of papers on the oak wood podium and waits for the noise to settle. The sea of microphones and cameras are held by Vampires and Humans alike. Ironically, it doesn't really seem to matter in the press what you are. So long as you're thirsty enough to dig for the scoop, you'll fit right in. He finds that kinship far more daunting than facing an actual battlefield. All of them are hungry for his News. It makes his throat close up.

"Remember to breathe."

The earpiece clicks and buzzes. Thank god for Gadhavi.

"I've come here today to announce that there will be a trial held in two days to decide what will be done to the Council following the issues that have occurred due to their governing and what problems their mishandling has caused for both the Human and Vampire communities. Though part of the trial will address the fact that they failed to care properly for my mate whilst both he and I were incapacitated, that will not be the main focus of the discussion. We will be addressing the fact that they have not only been neglecting Vampire-Human relations these past years, but in many cases they have also been downright hostile to the Humans, which is simply unacceptable behaviour. It seems to me that despite having agreed to the Peace Treaty, they have failed to honour the agreements made, and have largely chosen to work against its main objective, which was to cultivate a good relationship with the Humans."

He sucks in a slow breath. Time to strike the match.

"As Head of the Council, I should have been more aware of their misconducts and I… I should have done better to stop them."

Looking down at them, he feels like he's teetering on the edge of a cliff.

"It's good to acknowledge your mistakes. It makes you seem more Human."

It takes biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He can't help but find it ironic that Gadhavi thinks mistakes are a solely Human trait, considering who's to blame for this whole thing.

"Unfortunately I was indisposed at the time, but even in my absence, the Treaty should have been upheld by the Council — as is their duty. However, now that I am here, I take full responsibility for what they have done and commit myself to the Herculean task of rebuilding our failed government into something better — something that I hope will benefit everyone for many years to come. It's my belief, however, that only by working together can we resolve our issues, and by learning from their mistakes that we can move towards a brighter future."

"Go for it, sir."

"And when I say 'together', I do actually mean with the Humans, meaning that they will be a part of this trial. Every problem we're having now affects them just as much as it does us, therefore they should get a say in how the Council will be dealt with. For this reason, I have decided that it will be an open court, in which I will invite members of the Human public to be part of the jury."

As predicted, his decision provokes an uproar. Through sheer force of will, Takuma weathers it without showing an ounce of the stress he's under. At least with the noise they can't hear him grinding his molars together. He counts in his head until minutes pass, and then holds up his hands for silence. The more pushy journalists keep bobbing up and down like someone put tacks on their seats. For one spite-filled moment, Takuma wishes someone did.

"Keep going, sir. Don't let them get to you."

They want to hear him though, so when he taps his mike, they drop to hushed whispers and excited breaths. Tch, they're like a bunch of kindergarteners.

"I have also decided to invite two specific non-Vampire individuals to be present as party leaders, and speak on behalf of their — "

"Ichijou-sama, you can't seriously be opening the court to Humans on a Vampire-related matter," one of the bobbing reporters pipes up. A murmur of agreement passes over the room. Takuma sighs. Here we go.

"Why shouldn't I?" he asks, barely resisting the urge to jump off the platform and throttle the woman. "As I have just said, this matter involves them too, therefore they should get a say on how it's resolved. It's important to treat our friends with the respect they deserve. It's genuinely as simple as that."

"But this has never been done," she hisses, "It's bad enough that the Humans are dragging us through the mud simply for being who we are, why is it that you think they deserve our respect when they continue to disrespect us so? Condemning us for breathing the same air as them — for walking on the same ground the walk on. Already thousands of Vampires have been put out of work and ostracised since our exposure to the Humans — "

"And right there's where I'll stop you. That's one of the key problems to all of this — the fact that our 'exposure' is what caused this divide. As you've quite rightly said — we were exposed to the Humans, only relatively recently. For thousands of years we've been living secretly and separately from them, hiding our very existence from them, and benefitting from their ignorance. Is it any surprise that they would be upset by this? Would you call the way we deceived them for so long 'fair'? All this time we should have told them who we are, but we didn't because that would come at a cost to us. We stayed quiet for our own gain. We could have come clean years ago, but instead," he snaps, "Instead it took a war to expose us. I don't know about you, but I feel ashamed that it ever had to come to that. This could have been handled a lot better had we chosen to be honest from the start. We owe the Humans for lying to them all these years."

"That may be your opinion, but let me tell you: it definitely isn't shared by everyone. The fact is — Vampire law governs Vampires, it is separate from Human law for a reason, and that's how it should stay — "

"She's getting you off-topic, sir. Wrap it up before she gets too far."

"I think we'll have to agree to disagree for the meantime and move on to the next issue for now. This time without further interruptions, ma'am, if you don't mind." He eyes the other reporters who are eagerly eyeing him back, thanks to Miss Opinionated's outspokenness. "The first party leader I would like to summon to court is Wakaba Sayori." Dead silence. Then chaos again.

Most of them are going 'Who the heck is she?' or something along those lines. Takuma isn't surprised that she's unknown to them. He's not spoken or seen hide nor hair of Sayori since the Academy fell, and after looking her up for this specific reason, he was pleasantly surprised to learn what she's been up to since then. Surprised and yet, not surprised at all. It's exactly the kind of thing he thought she'd be doing in hindsight, and based on the little he knows about her. They weren't exactly close at school, but as the best-friend of the sister of his brother-like friend, he has managed to get a sort of... vague impression of her character.

It's surprising then, when one Human reporter does seem to recognise her name, and call him out on it. His fellow reporters simmer down to let him be heard, keen to know more about this unknown Human Takuma has summoned. Sharks, the lot of them.

"But Wakaba-san is hardly qualified to attend court — she's just a teacher, for crying out loud!"

Takuma's face twitches.

He fights down the urge to once again accost a member of the public, but this time by the skin of his teeth.

"Just because her father is a Councillor does notmean she knows anything about how to go about properly leading a party! Come on," the man cries, "This is obviously your way of influencing the final verdict! I mean, if she knows you already and is new to the court, she'll be so easily led — "

"Sir, I can assure you she is perfectly capable of handling herself in court. As a headmistress she knows how to deal with all sorts of difficult... situations." He feels an ugly sneer building, and barely diverts it in time. "And I believe as a teacher, she'll definitely be well-practiced in how to determine what sort of punishment will be appropriate for the Council's offences. However, if she does feel in any way out of her depth, she can always have an attorney represent her if she wants." What the fuck is your problem? is what he really wants to scream, and leave it at that, but he swallows down his irritation and, by some miracle, keeps his cool. Just a teacher, indeed.

"What is your reason for asking for her specifically?" another reporter asks, a smidgen more politely than the previous two. The question, however, is what Takuma has been dreading, so he cannot quite manage a smile for them.

"I believe that she has the best interest of both Humans and Vampires at heart, and that is what is most important in this trying time — someone who can strike the right balance, and value both parties equally."

"How do you know she's capable of that?"

Fuck. Takuma panics. He clicks his nails on the podium stand. Fuck.

"Tell them the truth. You can't avoid it. You aren't in the wrong."

"We were at school together," he babbles, cursing the obvious nervous edge to his tone. Don't let them know how stressed you are. "We attended Kurosu Academy together — a school that was founded with the intention of having Human and Vampire students learn together in a safe, informal environment."

"Wasn't that the school that was destroyed in the war?"

"That school was a sham," one woman calls out. Takuma narrows his eyes at her, but she's unflustered by him, more determined to get a rise out of him. "My niece went there. She told me the Humans were never even told that they were attending a school with Vampires. They didn't go to the same classes or interact at all with them. It was no different to the world we used to live in where the Vampire brats knew what was going on and the Humans were kept in the dark!"

"It was initially an experiment — yes," Takuma grits his teeth, "One that was in the early stages of development when it prematurely... ended. The Headmaster wanted to first establish the student body to ensure that it was running safely and smoothly before he planned on introducing the Vampires to the Humans. Unfortunately he didn't get round to doing so before the school was destroyed by the war."

"Ha," a man scoffs, "Safe. Seems to me that if he needed to ensure it was safe, that means he knew he was putting the students in danger, but didn't deem it worth jeopardising his little 'experiment' in case it messed it up. Doesn't sound like it was a very stable or ethical place to have children to me."

The stack of papers flutter off the perch, slapped away by an uncontrollable burst of Takuma's powers. He can't help being irked by the slight against Kaien. That stupid man has no idea what he's saying. Here Takuma stands, at the dawn of this inchoate regime, and this pig-faced pillock can't even give his predecessor the courtesy of a smidgen of respect. He glowers at the singed papers until they are all littering the floor like autumn leaves. Then, he lifts his eyes to meet the man directly.

"Headmaster Kurosu was one of the most respected and esteemed Hunters the world has ever known. His biggest dream was to help create a future where Humans and Vampires could live together in peace. He wanted to have some part in paving the way to this future himself with whatever means he could, and he thought that starting from childhood might help. When we are young, we are more open to new ideas, so he hoped introducing the idea of a coexistence to younger minds might make it easier to establish as part of the norm — as unremarkable as learning to read or write, so that the prejudice us adults perceive towards each other would not have a chance to take root in the next generation. The Academy was a microcosm of our world, but younger. Fresher. With more potential and hope than our bigger world could ever supply. It was a small and a majorly flawed experiment from the start, but… it managed to open my eyes to the possibility of what life could be like, lived side-by-side with Humans. I never would have believed it was possible, had not lived it myself.

"I wasn't close friends with Wakaba at school, but maybe that's just as well. What matters is that was part of this small world too, and more than that: she was one of the few Humans aware of us Vampires, and found herself largely unbothered by our existence. That alone tells me she is ideal for this trial."

"But how can we trust that you haven't just chosen her because she is your classmate? Maybe she'll listen to you more than she will her own kind," an obviously Human reporter argues. Takuma's face twitches again.

Fucking Christ. These people just won't quit.

"I've chosen her because I have been told by mutual friends and acquaintances that she is very good at providing a fair and impartial view. Yes, she is someone I knew, but we are hardly close back then, and I have not been in contact with her since. Check my phone records if you must — my email too, if you're that curious. I haven't spoken to her for years, so I doubt I'll have much sway over her opinions. The one thing I know is without a doubt, she is a decent person with good morals, and at the very least I trust her to keep herself focused on discussing the topics at hand rather than getting distracted by the urge to nitpick at every single bloody decision, opinion and irrelevant detail like all of you have been doing."

"Easy, sir. You're getting a bit snappy there."

Takuma breathes. Slowly. In and out. His pulse thunders.

And then it slows. Minutely.

"I can only see us going round in circles if I were to engage in conversation with someone I cannot trust to see past my species or personal connections, and that will only end with everyone getting frustrated and nothing being done. With Wakaba, at least I know she doesn't care about my station and wouldn't even blink if I turned into a fire-breathing dragon, so long as I treat her with equal kindness. That is all I'm asking for in these negotiations: a good solid understanding during the talks that Vampire, Human or what-have-you, all that matters is us cooperating so that we can actually fucking get somewhere with the issue at hand. Oh fuck — I mean, please can you retract that — ugh, I'm so sorry," Takuma groans, but to his relief he gets a smattering of laughter for his fumbling. "I am really tired right now, so I apologise for swearing."

"How is your husband, sir?" a grinning elderly woman calls. A weary smile pulls at him. He can practically hear his cheek muscles creaking as they struggle to contract.

"His recovery is going rather slow right now, but thank you for asking."

"So who is the second party leader then?" a man asks, dragging them back to the actual thing they're supposed to be talking about. Ah, the respite was nice while it lasted.

"Well, as there is to be a Vampire and Human party attending, I thought it was only fair to also invite a Hunter to the show," he says, feeling considerably more relaxed about this one. "Since this matter involves the wellbeing of Humans, which is definitely of interest to the Hunters, it makes sense to have them at the hearing too. Now, I don't see how anyone can really protest this one. Is anyone bold enough to? No. Very good," he smiles.

"This is for the Humans' clarification, Ichijou-sama, but Hunters… Hunters are like the Vampire police, or something along those lines, right?" a young reporter asks, drawing some laughter from the room. She flushes, but he nods.

"In simple terms, yes. They are tasked with protecting Humans and policing untamed Vampires. They try to keep the streets nice and safe, is what I'm saying."

"So which Hunter are you calling to the stand?"

"Naturally," he says, "The President of the Hunters' Association: the one and only, Yagari Toga."

---

Author's Note:

* Recently, when my sister and I have teased my mother about silly things we did in our childhood, we were shocked to find that she had no recollection of those events. She then confessed to us that our childhood was a very dark time for her, and that due to her depression she has a lot of gaps in her memory. It was very upsetting for us to learn that, so this is the experience I've based Yuuki's symptoms on.

...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I had to. I swear, it had to happen. I'm sorry for Yagari, and Kaito, and generally everybody. God, I'm such an evil writer. Also, sorry for writing a shitton about politics. I mean, what a bitch, right? How dare I add more politics to this godawful day. I have no fucking clue how any of it should really go, or how a revolution happens... or what the heck I'm doing, so everything here is totally improv'd, and I hope you'll forgive me if it makes no sense.