Humanity Is Vulnerable Chapter 26, an emergency fanfic

Humanity Is Vulnerable – 26e

"Coffee?" Dixie waited patiently for her chief of emergency medicine to look up from the chart he was reading. When he didn't, she placed a dainty hand on her hip. "A-hem…"

"Oh…did you say something, Dix?" Kel's dark blue eyes stared questioningly at her.

"Coffee?" She repeated in her concern-laced smoky voice.

Kel slammed the metal file shut and exhaled loudly. "Yea….why not?" He gave her a half smile as she led him around the nurse's station and towards the staff lounge.

"What….or who….has you so worried? Richard Owens?" She asked remembering he'd been reviewing a patient's chart.

He blew across the steaming cup as he pulled out her chair first then took the seat beside her. "Not him but a similar case. It's a patient 36's brought in a few days ago. He's responding quicker to our treatments than the others have….and I just don't get it."

"Well, maybe you should just celebrate the victory instead of questioning it." She admonished behind her long lashes.

Kel knew she was right. He'd worked in emergency medicine long enough to know that not every patient could be saved. The truth was he hated to lose. And to him, this felt like a losing battle. Kelly Brackett had a competitive streak as big as his heart and even bigger than his ego. "I know….I just wish I could figure it out."

"So you could bottle it and sell it?" She tried to lighten his mood.

"Not exactly…..so I could isolate it and figure out how to duplicate it in other patients," he answered; his voice as serious as ever. "He has AIDS just like the other men but for reasons unknown he seems to be able to fight this current infection of pneumocystis carinii pneumonia whereas the others succumbed to it."

Dixie lowered her cup keeping it held firmly between both hands. "Or, maybe the others were just farther along in their illness than he is now. Maybe they were sicker so they couldn't fight it as strongly as he's fighting it. Next time he might not make it either."

"Well, that's my theory…..but right now that's all it is." He looked back at his cup.

"Kel, HIV and AIDS are so new that theories are really all we have. Report your findings to CDC just like they asked. Who knows, maybe this young man will be able to help find a cure for it soon." She sipped her drink needing the caffeine rush as the afternoon seemed to be dragging.

"Let's hope so, Dix. Because if this thing turns into a full-scale epidemic then we could lose a lot more lives."

"And a lot more medical staff too." She interrupted casting her blue gaze away from him.

Kel leaned back in his seat crossing his ankle over one knee as her words sank in. "How many?"

She played with her bracelet for a moment while she silently added up the number. "Seven." She met his azure eyes with her own. "Four nurses hospital-wide, one in the lab and two in housekeeping."

He stared up at the ceiling crossing his arms in exasperation. "And that's just here. I haven't even thought to ask about the staffing situation at the other hospitals."

"And the grapevine's busy too, Kel. I think we've lost a few paramedics."

"Damn it!" He slapped the table splashing droplets of coffee as he rattled the cups. "I'm sorry….that was uncalled for."

Dixie stood up, stepping behind him and rubbing his tense shoulders. "It's ok, Kel. You're human…we're all human….and it's ok to be upset."

Reaching around, he grasped her small hand in his own larger one. "But where does it end, Dixie…..when does it end?"

Joanne stretched and rolled over expecting Roy to be lying by her side. When she felt the emptiness where he should be, panic temporarily washed over her. She looked around the dimly lit room then sat up, suddenly feeling the air on her bare back. The cooling sensation across her naked form brought back the memory of Roy undressing her and giving her a massage. She pulled the cover up beneath her chin smiling to herself as she allowed his actions to replay inside her mind. She had certainly enjoyed his touch and realized she must have fallen asleep. Oh no! I hope he isn't mad. She turned, swinging her legs over the side. She picked up her rumpled clothing from the pile where it had been dropped earlier then made her way downstairs. From somewhere deep in her soul, the tiniest bud of doubt appeared. Would he still be here? Had this all been a set up for him to leave her? She tiptoed down the stairs and was concerned by the quietness inside their home. The television was silent and there was no sounds to indicate Roy was anywhere in the house.

She finished buttoning up her blouse as she made her way through their empty living room feeling that doubt-filled bud begin to swell as it blossomed. "Roy?" She called in a now shaky voice. She didn't wait for an answer; she rushed to the back door to check the deck. The door was locked but she could see through the small window and the deck was completely empty. "ROY?" Her eyes began to tear up as she ran back through the kitchen toward the front door. She found it too was locked and the blossom of doubt turned into a fully blooming panic. "ROY!" She shouted unlocking the front door and pulling it open only to see her fears realized.

Chet looked at the stack of dishes the men had left in the sink. "Pigs." He huffed to himself then turned on the hot water pouring the dishwashing liquid beneath the steaming stream.

"Anything special you fellas want to watch tonight?" Marco turned to look at the remainder of the group circling their chairs around the television set.

"Doesn't 'Magnum P.I.' come on tonight?"

"I think so, John." Marco pounded his fist in a quick double pop on the side of the ancient set and waited for the picture to clear. He then turned the dial to the correct channel. "Oh, I'd love to have a car like that!"

"On our salary? Get real, Marco." Johnny quipped.

"I never said I'd have one…..just that I'd like to have one."

"You want to take a spin in the squad? It's small and red." Johnny flashed his crooked grin.

"Not the same, John…not the same." Marco said taking a seat as the theme song began to play in the background of their conversation.

Hank leaned back in his seat enjoying the light banter among his crew. He knitted his eyebrows together looking around the room suspiciously. "Mike, I thought I gave you kitchen clean-up this morning?"

Chet spun around, suds up to his elbows and rolled his eyes at Mike's back.

"Well, Chet graciously offered to do the dishes for me." Mike deadpanned.

Tom couldn't help himself. His regular shiftmates weren't this much fun to be around. He snickered as he remembered the card game he and Johnny had walked into just after lunch. Then the entire room broke out into belly heaving laughs when Chet expertly executed a hook shot with the dry dishcloth in Mike's direction.

Mike couldn't stop the grin that overtook his face as he looked around the blue and white striped cloth now draped haphazardly across his head and face. He pulled it off and threw it back at Chet just as the phone in the dayroom rang.

Johnny pulled his feet out of his neighboring chair and stood up heading in the direction of the ringing phone. "I'll get it….…Station 51, Firefighter Gage speaking."

Hank looked at his watch, briefly wondering if his wife was making her nightly call a little early.

Johnny immediately recognized the frantic female voice on the other end of the line. "Ho-hold on a minute. Lemme call you back from the dorm….I..I will, I promise." He hung up quickly and headed out the door shouting over his shoulder. "Gotta return a phone call, Cap."

"So we heard, John." Hank shook his head with a chuckle, imagining some distraught young lady about to chew on his paramedic's ass for some misdeed, real or otherwise.

Johnny quickly hustled around the vehicles and shoved open the door to the dorm then picked up the phone dialing the familiar number. He only heard half a ring before it was answered.

"Hello?"

"Jo, it's me….now, take a deep breath, calm down and start over…..what's happened?"

Joanne stood in her kitchen with one arm wrapped around her waist hugging herself while she held the phone up to her ear with her other trembling hand. "Oh Johnny….he's…he's not here. I mean," she hesitated to tear a paper towel off the roll to dry her eyes and wipe her nose. "We've gotten along so well today and we've talked and….and then I took a nap and…..he's gone….I woke up and he's gone." She leaned back against the wall in an effort to remain standing but inside she was wilting fast.

"Ok, now take it easy….is he on the deck or is…"

"No, no….I've looked everywhere and his car's gone too. Oh Joohhnny….w-what'd I d-do wrong?" She wailed.

"Sshhh…did you look around for.."

"Johnny, I hear something….oh God…"

Panic rose in Johnny's chest as he listened to her rapid breathing and the squeaking noises coming from her panic-constricted throat. "Joanne?"

"ROY…..Ohmygod!...Johnny, it's..it's him. He's home. I gotta go." He heard her talking in the background just as he heard the click of her hanging up the receiver. He sat there trying to calm his own frayed nerves before returning to the dayroom to face the other crew members. Luckily, they didn't know who had called him so he felt no obligation to tell anyone anything…..not even his captain.

Roy struggled with the white plastic bags of Chinese food while trying to maneuver his keys from his pocket without spilling any of the water in the vase. He finally managed to get the key angled just right to fit the lock and turned it. Suddenly, the scream of his wife sent a cold chill down his spine.

"Roy!"

He jerked his head up at the sound of her raised voice feeling the adrenaline rush through his body. "Honey? What's wrong?" He hurriedly set the bags down on the sofa and met her at the entrance of the kitchen, holding the vase of red roses he'd ordered earlier to the side as she slammed her petite body into his.

She wrapped her arms around his neck allowing the feel of his warmth smother the bloom of doubt that had taken root in her soul. She kissed his neck then squeezed him again as her body convulsed with emotions. "I..I was so…so scared."

Roy had never been more puzzled in his life. He wrapped his free arm around his crying wife trying to comfort her. "Joanne…baby, what's wrong…what's happened?" Immediately, his mind raced to the children. "Has…Joanne talk to me…has something happened to the kids." He stretched his arm out enough to be able to set the vase on the table then pulled her back to hold his hands on either side of her tear stained face as he searched for an answer.

"Kids? Oh..no." She shook her head looking through blurry eyes. "No, Roy….I, I couldn't find you and I…I was.."

"I'm here, baby…..sshhh…I'm here. I…I just went to pick up some dinner for us….sshhh." He rocked her gently while she sobbed. "I'm so sorry…..I didn't want to wake you 'cause you needed your rest and…..I left you a note.." He kept trying to comfort her by rubbing her back with one hand and her hair with the other.

"I….I," she sniffed. "I didn't see a note. I was so…scared."

"C'mon." He eased her toward the kitchen table pulling out her usual chair. "Everything's gonna be ok, sweetheart." Once she was seated, he squeezed her shoulder then returned to retrieve the bags of Chinese food. He'd decided to get take-out from the same restaurant Chet had ordered from when he had promised the crew at Station 51 a real ethnic dinner.

Walking back to the kitchen, he set the two bags down on the counter where he'd left the note.

Joanne pulled her hands away from her face and sat staring at the table; the earlier adrenaline rush was beginning to wane. Before her, she saw the most beautiful bouquet of red roses mixed with white baby's breath and greenery. "For me?" She heard her voice squeak as she asked the question.

"Yes, of course they are. I'm afraid the first bouquet I sent didn't last as long as I'd hoped and I wanted to replace them…..kind of a way to symbolize us starting over too." He smiled at her feeling a bit of remorse for the pain he'd caused her.

"They're beautiful….I love them. Thank you."

He watched her stand up, leaning over to sniff the roses and was pleased by her reaction. He pulled out the container of lo mein noodles when a sudden breeze blew in through the slightly opened kitchen window and blew the paper receipt from the top of the container. He watched as the receipt floated on the wind then dropped quickly sliding underneath the refrigerator. He gulped as understanding made its presence known. He could hear Joanne continuing to admire the flowers he'd purchased even when he knelt down and looked under the refrigerator. There was the receipt as well as the note he'd left for her. "Hey, I found the note I left you. See," he held it up waving it so she'd see that he really had tried not to worry her. "I really did try to let you know…" Another older piece of paper caught his attention. He reached farther beneath the appliance and was able to touch the tip of it with his middle finger. He grimaced as he stretched as far as he could and was thankful it was just enough to secure the paper and pull it back out. He looked at it reading it silently. "Awww, shit!"

"What?" Joanne spun around at the sound of his swearing.

"Uh…." He climbed back up off the floor. "I found the note I left you. The wind blew it underneath the refrigerator." He stepped over to sit beside her. "Here it is…..but, Joanne I found another note too." He laid down the dust covered piece of paper. Now, he realized that she'd never seen it. She hadn't received his heartfelt apology…..and it'd almost cost him his life. He gulped as she laid it on the table and pushed it towards her.

Jo my love,

I'm so sorry I hurt you. Will you please, please forgive me? I never meant to do that. You are my world and I just want to take back everything I did wrong this morning. Dr. Brackett called an emergency meeting at the hospital for all paramedics at 10:00am and I'm riding over there with Johnny. Please don't shut me out. Please? I love you with all my heart.

Roy

Joanne read the note and felt her mouth go instantly dry. "When did you write this?" She asked almost afraid of his answer.

"I left it for you the morning I …after…when I hurt you. I wanted to write so much more but I had to go to a meeting at Rampart; it was when we found out about HIV. I…I really thought we'd talk when I got back home but you never mentioned it so I knew….or thought that you couldn't forgive me…..so I just didn't mention it either….now I know why you didn't." He fought the stinging behind his eyes.

"I swear…..Roy, I swear I never saw it. I….I.."

He reached out to her, pulling her into another hug. "I know, Jo. I realize that now. But I didn't then. I just thought…..well, I just thought you stayed angry with me….that you couldn't forgive me."

"And I thought that you weren't satisfied with our sex life; that I wasn't enough for you." She reached out to hold his hand. "This whole mess…it was all just….just a misunderstanding."

"Yea….one that could've cost us our marriage." He knew she was thinking about more than just the demise of their marriage.

Joanne sat in silence needing no reminder of how the misunderstanding had nearly left her a widow with two fatherless children.

Not long after wake-up tones sounded, Mike was dressed and outside the station hoisting the flags into place and retrieving the morning paper. Tom was pouring himself a cup of coffee when he saw Mike return and toss the paper on the kitchen table. Chet was the first to grope the folded paper in an attempt to find the sports page. Marco didn't seem particularly interested in reading this morning and Johnny was still brushing his teeth. Tom hurriedly reached for the remainder of the paper scanning quickly to see if the photographer had managed to publish the photo of him at the fatal accident scene on the 405 the previous day. After searching through multiple pages he finally saw the small but obvious photograph. Aww, shit! Gage won't let me live this down! He reached for his cup of coffee….then smiled at the brilliance of an idea forming in his head.

"Good mornin', good mornin', good mornin'."

A chorus of 'morning, Gage' echoed around the kitchen and one shouting expletive.

"Sonofabitch!" Tom jumped up wadding up the section of paper that now contained half his cup of coffee spilled precisely on top of his picture.

"Oh, here lemme help." Johnny pulled a handful of paper towels from the roll and began cleaning up the liquid that remained on the table while Tom rushed to the trash can to dispose of the evidence.

Whew! "Sorry about the paper, guys." He lied.

An hour later the men of 'A' shift were replaced by 'B' shift. Tom Wheeler finished dressing in his civvies before Johnny and made his way out to his car. He knew he couldn't leave without one final word with his partner of the last 24 hours. He threw his duffle bag into the back seat and pretended to be searching for something in his glove box until he heard Gage's voice in the back lot.

"Have a good time with Susan but don't do anything I wouldn't do." Gage's laugh was almost contagious as he and Chet sparred.

"Aww, c'mon, Gage. You know I'm gonna do more than you ever could."

"You wish!" Gage scoffed stepping up to his rover.

Tom got out of his car and met him. "Uh, listen, man." He cut his eyes around the parking lot making sure no one was close enough to overhear their conversation. "I really do appreciate what you did yesterday. I think I needed a good swift kick in the ass and…well, I just wanted to say 'thanks' for…you know, not telling Cap."

Johnny flashed a grin but his eyes were all business. "No problem….just between us, a'right?"

Wheeler nodded his gratification. He knew in his heart that John wasn't going to tell anyone how he'd behaved. And he also knew that he'd never make that mistake again. He wondered briefly if there was anyone else in the department who would have handled the situation any better and quickly decided that fate had dealt him a pretty good hand when it gave him the overtime at 51's as Roy's replacement.

"Hello?" Bethany Carmichael answered the telephone in the new apartment she was now sharing with her mother, Rachael, and her younger brother Peter. "MOM! Phone's for you!" She called out down the hallway.

Rachael pulled the door of her young son's bedroom shut then made her way towards the telephone being extended to her by her teenaged daughter. "Listen out for him, will you?" She asked accepting the phone.

"Hello?" She hesitated listening to the voice on the other end. "What do you mean? You can't do this!"

Bethany jerked her head around at the sound of her mother's voice.

"He's just a child, damn it! Who told you anyway?" She saw the concern in her daughter's eyes and lowered her voice. "Oh…I…..please, Mr. Landers….don't do this…." She slammed the phone down.

"Mom? What's wrong? Bethany's voice was shaky.

Rachael wiped her angry eyes with her trembling hands. She knew she had to calm down before she could even speak but she also knew she had to explain to Bethany what she had just learned. She swallowed the lump in her throat. "Uh….have a seat Bethany."

The two of them sat down at the small kitchen table.

"That was Mr. Landers from Peter's school." She met her daughter's worried eyes. "He….well, he says Peter can't return to school in the fall."

"Why? Is it 'cause he has HIV?" Bethany knew the answer as surely as she knew her name but she needed to hear her mother confirm her suspicions.

"Yea…it is."

"NO! That's not fair!" She said leaning forward and resting her face in her hands.

"No, it isn't fair. And I wish I could fight it but…..well, we're living in a different school district now and….I don't know, Bethany. Maybe I should just enroll both of you in new schools…..maybe we should just stay here in this apartment." She began to trace imaginary lines on the table with her finger.

"But, Mom….my friends are there. I don't want to change schools! I'm not the one who's been kicked out." She immediately regretted her words. "I'm so-sorry." She said through her tears. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

Rachael didn't respond to her daughter's apology. Instead, she got up and poured herself a drink, much earlier in the day than usual. Leaving Bethany to mourn alone for the loss of not only her home but now her friends and school as well…..and the impending loss of her only sibling in a most horrific manner.

Roy made the left turn into the station parking lot. It was his first day back at work since Hank had dismissed him for being too sick to work. He felt a sense of longing for normalcy in his life but he also was filled with a sense of dread. He'd have to face his partner for the first time since the event as well. He knew he owed Johnny an apology for his thoughtless comments about his sex life. He just didn't know how he would be able to do it. He pulled his duffle bag out of the passenger's seat and headed to Hank's office. He had managed to arrive early enough that only Hank and Mike had arrived before him. The engine and squad were gone which he was silently thankful for. At least he'd have the opportunity to speak to Hank for a moment without concern for others overhearing their conversation.

Hank looked up at the sound of footsteps approaching and smiled when he saw his senior paramedic standing in the doorway of his office. "Well, feeling better, Roy?"

"Ah yes sir…..much better. I just wondered if you needed to see me or anything before I changed." His nervousness was evident in his voice.

"Take a seat." Hank did want to make sure Roy was ok before he returned to duty even though he hadn't required him to get a medical release.

Roy's heart slammed against the walls of his chest. He'd feared what Johnny may have told their captain about his recent illness. "Ah…here." Roy reached inside his shirt pocket and pulled out a piece of paper placing it on Hank's desk. "Brackett sent this just in case you wanted it."

Hank reviewed the form. "Well, it really isn't necessary since it was just a stomach virus but I'll put it in your record anyway." He stood up opening the metal file cabinet and thumbing through the records until he found the one marked 'DeSoto, Roy.' He allowed the silence between them to continue giving Roy the opportunity to tell him more if he so chose.

Roy hesitated, feeling uncomfortable with the silence but not sure how much Hank knew about what happened. He decided to talk to Johnny first and find out how much Hank knew before having a heart to heart with his superior.

Hank took a little longer filing the paper than was necessary. When Roy didn't open up, Hank spoke. "Why don't you go ahead and change while I get some coffee started."

"Thanks, Cap."

Johnny wheeled in with only a few minutes to spare, pouring himself out of his rover and sprinting to the locker room. He'd seen Roy's car in the back lot and had no idea what he'd say to his partner when they saw each other. Was he wrong to feel the way he did? He was angry at Roy for his hurtful remarks but he was also grateful that his friend was still alive. He hadn't bothered to call Roy or Joanne since the whole incident occurred. He knew he'd use the excuse of allowing them time to work on their marriage but the truth was his feelings were hurt.

He pushed open the door and scanned the nearly empty room. "Mornin', Marco."

"Hey, John." Marco responded as he closed his own locker and headed out the door.

Johnny hurriedly stripped off his street clothes and began pulling on his work blues. He was just tying his boots when Chet ran through the door.

"Don't say a word, Gage….not a damn word!" He jerked open his locker and began pulling off his street clothes as if he were angry with them.

"What the hell's wrong with you?"

Chet threw him a scowl then continued getting dressed. Johnny put the pieces together in his mind and a wicked grin spread across his face. "Awww, no luck with Susan, huh?"

"She stood me up, ok? Ya happy?" He spun back around tossing his shirt into his locker.

Johnny allowed his trademark smile to speak for him and waltzed out the door. He had too much on his mind to banter with Chet. He pushed open the door to the kitchen. "Mornin', fellas."

"Hey, Gage." Mike spoke up.

Roy gulped pouring his own cup of coffee. "Coffee, Johnny?"

Johnny pursed his lips into a thin line. "Ah, yea…yea…that'd be great." He stood back while Roy poured him a cup and handed it to him.

Both men sat down at the table but neither spoke. Mike passed Marco the paper standing up to pour himself a warmer. The silence in the room was uncomfortable for both John and Roy but neither Mike nor Marco seemed to take notice.

"You ah, you feelin' better, Roy?"

Roy didn't make eye contact when he answered. He didn't want to begin the much needed conversation with an audience of shiftmates. "Yea, I am. Thanks for asking."

The two were given a reprieve from their discomfort by their junior lineman's dramatic entrance.

"I'm swearing off women!" Chet announced coming through the door and pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"What happened to you?"

"Mike," he began holding the coffee pot in his hand as he turned to look at their engineer. "The bitch stood me up! I mean, I went to her apartment and no one was home."

"Maybe her apartment isn't the only place no one's home."

"Ha..aha, way to go, Lopez!" Johnny joked.

Roy and Mike grinned at each other while Chet stood with his eyebrows knitted together mouthing Marco's comment to himself. Finally, the lines on his forehead smoothed out and he grimaced at his partner. "Oh, I get it…thanks a lot!" He turned back around replacing the coffee pot just as Cap stuck his head in the doorway.

"Roll call in five."

Each man quickly finished up his coffee and placed his cup in the sink for whichever one of them got kitchen duty to wash later on. They filed out one by one and lined up for morning announcements.

Hank used his discerning eye to determine the mood of each of his men. Chet was pissed off at someone or something which was nothing new. He was also the last to arrive so he would get latrines. He also noticed that Roy and Johnny were not talking to each other the way they normally did so he decided to give them dorms. That would force them to work together and thus allow them time to talk out their differences.

Ten minutes later, Roy and Johnny headed off to begin stripping the beds in the dorm room. Both men knowing their conversation wouldn't be comfortable but both also knowing they needed to work it out for the sake of their team as well as their friendship.