Chapter 26 – Return of the Moron
Rinoa: Woo, we made the train just in time.
Ellone: It's nice of you to give me an extra ticket.
Rinoa: It's nothing. After all, I did make some extra money before we got here.
Irvine: How? We just saw you pulling some guy into a building.
Ellone: It doesn't matter. Anyway, I came with you guys for a reason.
Squall: And that is…
Ellone: Squall, if you want to beat Laguna, you need to know his life, and I'll show it to you.
Squall: So I'll be… (faint)
Ellone: Alright, who wants to go with him?
Stephie: I volunteer Zell.
Zell: Wait, don't I ge… (faint)
Ellone: Alright, one more.
Stephie: I volunteer…
Ellone: I'll send you, since you enjoy volunteering.
Stephie: Well that seems… (faint)
Ellone: Ok, let's if there's a lake we can dump them in.
(really, really, brief flash)
Laguna: Let me out of this jail! I have a wife and a child! Let me go! Come on!
Prisoner Next Door: Yeah, shut him up!
Biggs: We got solutions for people like him. (casts silence, huge talk bubble with … appears)
Wedge: Something wrong sir?
Biggs: No. Just giving this prisoner what he deserves. (Casts blind, poison, berserk, confuse, and sleep on Laguna. Many things are on top of his head.)
Wedge: Was that necessary sir?
Biggs: No. I'm just bored from guarding this desert prison all day.
Several days passed. Laguna was tortured using random status effects. Than one day…
Prisoner Next Door: Prison Break! (all doors fling open)
Laguna: This is the chance to escape.
Laguna ran down several stairs with the rest of the prisoners. He met up with Kiros who had Laguna's favorite machine gun.
Kiros: Here you go man.
Laguna: Thanks. Where's Ward?
Kiros: He died. Remember? 20 bullets in the leg, you tried to give him CPR?
Laguna: Oh yea…that was troublesome.
They were able to escape, when they found Biggs and Wedge out in the desert.
Biggs: Well, I guess this is the end for us.
Wedge: Yeah, I guess so.
Kiros: You guys want to travel with us?
Biggs: Not after what you did to us. I was demoted, and Wedge here got kicked out of the army.
Wedge: You got kicked out too… (smack) but they don't need to know that.
Biggs: We'll stay here. But text us if you need us. (gives fancy text message machine to both Laguna and Kiros) We still have a desire to kill and live.
Wedge: You do, but I don't.
Biggs: What?
Wedge: I don't, sir!
Biggs: Alright, much better.
(really, really, big flash)
Squall: Ow. My head. Oh look, the lake. Wait, I'm in a bag. What's going on?
Ellone: Crud, they're awake. Switch to plan B! (knocks Squall out) Alright, stuff him in our luggage!
Rinoa: We don't have any luggage.
Ellone: Now what?
To be continued…